Author's Note

Something a little different this time around. After the slog that was chapter 10, I thought I'd treat myself to a cute, fluffy, rom-com-y, funny (hopefully), short chapter. This one doesn't have too much to do with the main plot, so if this type of thing isn't your bag, feel free to skip. For those of you who do read it, thanks very much.

11. If the Princess of Friendship Does it, it's Not a Crime

The realm was dimly illuminated by thousands upon thousands of small white orbs, each one giving off a pale glow. In the deep midnight blue of the dream scape, it was like nothing so much as walking or floating through a night sky, the orbs as erratically placed as the stars.

Of course, Twilight Sparkle had seen it all before. In the early days of her taking on the role from Princess Luna, the sight of the dream realm filled her with awe. Then, as was the way of things, she became accustomed to the sight, though still occasionally moved by its quiet beauty. Now though, having walked the void for years, she found herself viewing it with nonchalant apathy, as it meant only one thing.

Work.

Twilight walked silently between the floating orbs, her hooves making no sound on the ground. Not that there was a ground to make a sound on, of course. The Princess had long since given up trying to decipher how physical movement translated into a non-physical space. Either she moved where she wanted to, or where she wanted to be moved to her, it was one of those. That was the trouble with the dream-realm. It didn’t exist very much.

Neither did Twilight, not here at least. Physically, she was curled up in the middle of her giant bed, among numerous cushions. The casual observer might mistake her for being asleep, but she wasn’t, at least, not really. It was just that her soul, essence, consciousness, whatever you wanted to call it, was somewhere else.

Specifically, it was here.

The Princess lightly gripped Spike’s rolled up report in a wing and tapped it thoughtfully against her lips. The report didn’t really exist here either, but Twilight had found in the past that objects, or even sometimes creatures, manifested themselves in the dream realm, if they were weighing heavily enough on her mind. She’d read and re-read the document earlier in the evening, and even now, it was tucked under the wing of her physical body, waiting to be read again when she came around.

It sounded like they’d had a nightmare of a day. Her dream duties temporarily forgotten; she wondered if she’d been too quick to dismiss some of Starlight’s ideas from her original plan. Twilight was used to second guessing herself though; the goal of the project was redemption, and that hadn’t changed. She truly wanted to give all three of them the best shot at it she could, and that meant taking a few risks. However, when she made her reply, she intended to recommend, demand even, that from now on Cozy wasn’t to be left alone with other students. She dreaded to think what might have happened in that potions class if Spike hadn’t been on the ball. She still stood by her decision to give the three some time to themselves, but she wouldn’t sacrifice the safety and wellbeing of the rest of the student body for it. She wondered what a fitting punishment for Cozy might be. How do you reprimand a foal who had, and seemingly feared, nothing?

The Princess pursed her lips. Revoke her library privileges? As horrifying as that sounded to Twilight herself, she strongly doubted that it would mean much to Cozy. She aimlessly stalked the void for a few more steps, contemplating. With a sigh, she pushed these thoughts aside, and allowed the parchment to fall from her grasp, where it faded from existence. There’d be time to think about all that later. Right now, she had duties to attend to.

She paused by a nearby orb, lightly caressing it with her dorsal feathers. Inside she saw a faint outline of what was happening inside. A lime-coloured foal in a party hat was embracing a gargantuan chocolate eclair that stretched off into the horizon. The Princess chucked lightly at the scene, even if it did mean that now she was hungry for eclairs.

Tearing her eyes away from the delightful, if mouthwatering dream, she rolled her eyes closed and cast her mind out across the length and breadth of the realm, searching for a discordant note in the symphony. Before long she found one, one that's emotional resonance was out of key with the rest. A bad dream.

Opening her eyes, she willed the offending orb to her, and as she watched, a tiny red dot in the ocean of stars came zipping its way to her at an impossible speed. Had this been a physical place, the orb must have travelled hundreds, if not thousands of miles in just a few seconds to get to her, but again, it wasn’t. She willed the orb to hover just in front of her face, and raised an eyebrow as she sampled the feelings coming off it.

Existential dread, fear and despair, with just a smidgen of humiliation thrown in. A classic nightmare. As she watched, the red of the orb darkened to a deep scarlet. Whatever was going on in there, it was getting worse. She lightly touched the ball with her wing as she had the previous orb, but found that this one had darkened to such a degree that she could barely make anything out.

With a frown, she activated her magic to glean some more information. First of all, who did this dream belong to? If it was a foal or an adult, that might give her some more information as to what she might be walking into. Her senses told her that this was an adult’s dream. That was good, fully grown Pony nightmares tended to be much more banal than foals’. It could well be that some poor soul was trapped in school, sitting down to an exam they hadn’t studied for again. A little more ferreting, and she managed to conjure up a cutie mark. The surface of the orb flashed with white light that crawled over the red and coagulated into lines, forming the picture of the dreamer’s mark.

Oh dear.

It was a mark that the Princess instantly, and unfortunately, recognised. A magic wand with a star shaped tip against whisp of night sky with two twinkling stars. There was no mistaking the cutie mark of the Great and Powerful Trixie.

Twilight bared her teeth as a wince pulled the corners of her mouth back. Well now, this was awkward. Aside from Cozy Glow, now that she was back in the land of the living, Twilight was hard pressed to think of a psyche she’d be less welcome in. She tapped all four of her hooves in mild panic while she considered what to do, all while precious seconds ticked by and the orb grew steadily darker. On the one hoof, Trixie hated her guts, and would in no way thank her for viewing her most private of involuntary thoughts. Additionally, there was the added complication of Twilight knowing about Starlight’s feelings for the mare, and her suspicions about Trixie’s. What if what she saw in the dream had some kind of connection to that particular can of worms?

Twilight danced fretfully in a small circle while she agonised over what to do. She’d be neglecting her duties if she didn’t intervene, right? She couldn’t just send the orb back to where it came from and pretend she never saw it, could she? Sure, she was the guardian of sweet dreams, but it wasn’t all that uncommon for the odd nightmare to slip through. She was just one Alicorn, after all. She couldn’t be everywhere at once. The Unicorn would get over it, she was an adult. Bad dreams happen sometimes, that’s life. Deal with it.

The orb began to blacken, a sign that dream-death was coming, closely followed by a harsh and rude return to the waking world. At the sight of this, Twilight’s expression hardened, her mind made up. Like it or not, Trixie was a (mostly) loyal subject of the Kingdom of Equestria, and as such deserving of all the rights of any other member. As Princess, duty came first. Fortunately, she’d picked up quite a few tricks since she took over the job from Princess Luna, so with a little luck, she’d be able to get in and get out without Trixie ever knowing she was there.

Twilight willed the orb towards her and it slowly obeyed, Trixie’s cutie mark still emblazoned on its nearly pitch surface. The buckball sized dream floated closer, and the Alicorn closed her eyes as it connected with her horn.

When she opened them again, she found herself in a dark and smoky club. There were numerous circular tables populated by rough looking stallions and mares, all swilling booze from pint tankards or bulbous wine glasses. Many of the patrons of the club were smoking, their lit cigarettes forming tiny red pinpricks in the gloom of the establishment. The stench of stale beer and tobacco was almost overpowering, and Twilight began to feel dirty by even being there. Luckily, none of the ponies seemed to have noticed her arrival in the middle of the room, or even acknowledge her presence now that she was there.

She looked around quickly. There was no discernible entrance or exit; no discernible walls for that matter; where the tables stopped there just seemed to be darkness in all directions. The only exceptions to this were a barely lit bar at one end of the ‘room’ that had several ponies slumped over it while a surly stallion bartender appeared to be cleaning glasses with his own spit, and at the other, a brightly lit stage with deep red back curtains that shone in the gloom.

Throwing a look of disgust in the direction of the bar, Twilight instead turned her attention to the stage. It was certainly the focal point of the dream, being much more visible and tangible than the rest of the surroundings. The Princess felt a pang of sympathy for Trixie; Sweet Luna, was this the type of place she’d regularly have to perform in back when she was a travelling conjurer? It explained so much. Speaking of Trixie, there was no sign of the Unicorn just yet. The stage was completely vacant save for a lone microphone on a stand, and tall rectangular object covered by what appeared to be a silk sheet.

Right then, first thing was first. Before Trixie inevitably showed up, it was time for Twilight to bust out her first trick, and one that she was particularly proud of: incorporeality. With a smile and a close of her eyes, the Alicorn concentrated for a moment. When she opened them again, they no longer existed. Nor did the rest of her body, she was now a swirling mass of invisible consciousness that mingled with the cigarette smoke. One might have thought that this loss of a physical form would be terror inducing, but Twilight, having done it many times before, found the sensation strangely liberating. She extended her essence to fill glasses and drift under tables, feeling out the dream, taking in each sensation like a scientist recording data. One of the advantages of being in this form was that she now had a three-sixty-degree view of the room at all times, which was another talent that she prided herself on. At least now Trixie wouldn’t be able to detect her presence, though in this form the Princess wouldn’t be able to completely alter the dream’s trajectory, not without pulling herself together, so to speak. That being said, she still should have the ability to make some small, subtle changes.

However, there still didn’t seem to be sign of the Unicorn. Where was she? And where was that looming threat of dream-death coming from? The answer had to be tied to the stage, somehow.

No sooner had this thought occurred to her than the satin curtains parted, and a stallion in a purple sequined jacket and tie emerged from the darkness beyond. His mane was blonde and slicked back, and as he approached the microphone, he flashed an impossibly white smile to the disinterested crowd.

“Good evening, good evening, good evening, ladies and germs,” He spoke in a polished, fake, showbiz voice, “and welcome to the Skullduggery club.”

He paused as a faint titter was elicited from the crowd.

“It’s sure good to see so many of you out here tonight,” he continued, strutting about the stage. “I tell ya, I’ve had it rough. I’ve spent years looking for my ex-wife's killer...”

He paused for comedic effect, a smarmy grin playing about his face.

“...but I can’t find anypony who wants to do it!”

There was chorus of laughter from the crowd. If Twilight had had eyes at this moment, they would have damn near rolled out of her skull.

“Thank you, thank you,” The MC crowed obnoxiously. “I’m here all week. I tell ya folks, we have show for you tonight!”

The audience cheered with limited enthusiasm.

“And ‘sides, even if we don’t, you all know the club rules, don’t ‘cha?”

There was a collective and more engaged ‘Yeah!’ from the crowd. Twilight was beginning to see where this dream was headed.

“What do we give to Ponies who don’t put on a good show?”

“Death!” came the collective answer. Twilight attempted to gasp with no body. Okay, maybe she hadn’t seen where it was headed. It explained why the orb had been turning black though.

“That’s right!” The show Pony cried gleefully. “What do they get if it starts off well but then trails off towards the end?”

“Death!”

“Right again! What do they get if we aren’t completely mesmerised every second they’re on stage?”

“Death, death, DEATH!” came the awful chant.

“You’re on fire!” The MC shouted, sliding to the object covered with a sheet. With a single tug, he pulled off the silk, revealing a full-sized guillotine underneath. The crowd roared. Twilight wished she had a hoof, and a face she could clap it to. Well, that explained that.

“Now then, without further ado, please welcome onstage our first act!” The MC announced. At his words there was a light cheer from the audience, and the curtains behind him parted once more. Predictably, Trixie emerged from the shadows, dressed in her usual stage outfit; a starry robe and hat. Her body language, however, was not her usual over-confident one. Her eyes were aimed at the floor, and it seemed she was struggling to smile. One of her forelegs nervously clutched the other.

“The Great & Powerful Ditsy!” the announcer boomed, pausing before each word for emphasis.

The crowd remained deathly silent. Somewhere in the room a cricket chirped.

Trixie made her way to the mic, a trip that seemed to take an agonisingly long time.

“Actually...um, it’s...it’s the great and powerful Trixie...” She said in a timid voice that was missing all of its usual bravado.

“It really doesn’t matter, doll.” Came the disgusting reply, as the MC slimed his way off the stage.

Twilight found herself feeling deeply sorry for the Unicorn. Obviously, this was an exaggerated dream, conjured up by her mind to cause the maximum discomfort, but it wasn’t coming from nowhere. The performer must have done gigs that were at least comparable to this.

Twilight continued to watch, silently willing the mare to overcome her fears and fight back, put on a great show, and dismiss this part of herself that wanted her to suffer back to the subconscious. If she did, Twilight might be spared the trouble of having to step in. Come on, Trixie, do what you do best...

“H-hello, ladies and gentlecolts,” The magician stammered into the microphone. “For my first trick tonight, I’d like...like to...”

She trailed off, apparently distracted by something going on at the back of the club, near the bar. She raised her hoof to shield her eyes from the brutal spotlights and squinted. Her breath visibly caught in her throat.

Twilight followed her gaze and found that it led her to one of the rearmost tables, where she saw-

Oh, for Celestia’s sake.

Twilight was positive that they hadn’t been there before when she arrived. Trixie’s anxious brain must have placed them there while the Princess’ attention was focused on the stage. The Alicorn cursed herself for not having noticed.

At one of the tables at the back of the room, now strangely illuminated (for this was something that Trixie’s mind obviously wanted her to see) sat a dream version of Starlight, alongside a dream version of none other than herself, Princess Twilight Sparkle, ruler of Equestria. The two seemed to be very cozy together, holding hooves, giggling and looking into each other’s eyes, ignoring everything else around them. It gave Twilight (the real Twilight) a strange feeling to see Starlight run her hoof through her doppelganger’s wispy mane and plant a light kiss on her lips.

Meanwhile on stage, Trixie’s mouth hung open, and tears formed in her eyes as she visibly became choked up.

“DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!” The crowd began to chant.

Well, that tore it. Now she’d have to intervene. She employed another trick in her arsenal, and slowed time down to a crawl, providing herself with valuable time to think. The MC was caught in slow motion, rushing to the stage, no doubt to drag Trixie to the guillotine and summarily execute her. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t very well just show up as herself, Trixie would never forgive her, and would no doubt hate her even more than she already did.

No, no, there was only one mare who could help the Unicorn now, and she was at the back of the room canoodling with, well, her.

Having said that...dreams seldom made sense, did they? A pony could be in two places at once, couldn’t they? Twilight’s essence cackled to itself as she realised that if she just made a few alterations, then Trixie’s sleeping mind should easily accept the changes and carry on.

The Princess quickly drifted to the stage and wafted under the curtain. Unsurprisingly, back here everything was dark and ill-defined. Here she coagulated her incorporeal form into a solid shape once more, but not her usual Twilight body; she formed herself into the shape of Starlight Glimmer.

With a smile, she added a gold sequined leotard to her form, with little matching ra-ra skirt. That was the sort of thing magician’s assistants usually wore, right? She briefly willed a mirror into existence, and checked herself out.

Hmm. The face and body were fine, indistinguishable from the real thing, but the mane wasn’t right. She’d somehow given this Starlight a fringe, just like the Unicorn had had when they first met, and like how Twilight herself used to have. With a frown, she willed some length into the front of the mane, and watched in the mirror as it cascaded down her face and turned up in the slightest curl at the tip. She brushed it into place with her hoof. Perfect.

Twilight, now masquerading as Starlight, dismissed the mirror from reality, and carefully planned her next move. For the next part of her scheme to work, she’d need to restore the ordinary flow of time to the dream, and that meant she’d have only a scant few seconds before the show Pony was on Trixie. That was fine; a second or two would be all she’d need. She conjured a wand that was identical to the one that featured in the Unicorn’s cutie mark into her hoof, and snapped time back to normal. She willed a voice to echo around the entire club.

“Ladies and Gentlecolts,” it boomed, “Please welcome to the stage The Great and Powerful Trrrixie’s glamourous assistant, Starlight Glimmer!”

There was a chorus of cheers as Twilight parted the curtain and stepped onto the stage. Trixie whirled around in shock, her mouth hanging open.

“St-Starlight?!” She spluttered. “I thought...I thought you were...”

“You know I wouldn’t leave my best friend hanging,” Twilight smiled. “Here. You’ll need this.”

Twilight bowed low, offering up the wand to Trixie the way a knight would offer her sword to a queen. Trixie accepted it, a wonderous look slapped on her face.

“I’d use it on that low-life if I were you.” Twilight smiled, nodding in the direction of the side of the stage.

The Unicorn turned in the direction she indicated, and saw the horrid stallion scrabbling up the steps and lunging towards her. Without thinking, the magician waved the wand in his direction, and cried out the first vaguely magical thing that entered her mind.

“Teacup!” she shrieked, and though Twilight had to think fast, as this wasn’t what she’d been expecting the performer to shout, she did an excellent job of willing the stallion away, and a teacup and saucer into being at the exact same moment.

The crockery fell to the stage floor, where it shattered into thousands of tiny pieces. The audience gasped, before erupting into riotous applause and cheering. Trixie took the opportunity to hug her friend.

“But...but I saw you with Twilight,” She practically shouted into the Princess’ ear to be heard over the crowd.

“Twilight?” Twilight raised an eyebrow, her smile still shining. “You didn’t seriously think that was me, did you?”

Twilight pointed towards to the back table. Trixie once again held her hoof up to the light and squinted to the back of the room.

Twilight wanted to make this dream a happy one. She wanted Trixie to have a dream that she could treasure. If that meant humiliating herself for Trixie’s amusement, then so be it. She was the guardian of the dream realm, and as such above such trivialities. She’d only had a moment to come up with the most embarrassing romantic partner she could think of and swap them out for the dream Starlight, but still, she thought it had worked rather well.

A little too well, if the truth be told. She meant no disrespect to Cranky-Doodle, but it was probably safe to say that the image of herself with the Donkey’s tongue in her mouth while she ran a hoof through his toupee that unsurprisingly fell off his bald head, was one that would haunt the Alicorn for the rest of her days.

“HA!” Trixie shouted, her face a picture of gleeful relief.

“Come on,” Twilight said softly, tearing her gaze away from the distressing scene going on at the back of the club. “We’d better put on a good show if we’re going to walk out of here.”

“You’re right!” The magician replied, starting to sound like her old self.

Over the course of the next half hour or so, Twilight and Trixie did indeed put on a good show. Trixie was able to float around above the stage, and even out over the audience, she managed to catch an arrow in her teeth fired from a bow by her glamorous assistant, and was even able to guess whatever any given member of the audience was thinking. Of course, it was all foal’s play when Twilight could literally bend reality to her will. The crowd ‘ooh’ed and ‘ahh’ed in all the right places, and at the end of each trick they practically shattered the wine glasses with their cheering. At the last peal of applause, Trixie turned to her supposed friend.

“We need a big finisher,” she spoke out of the corner of her mouth, her attention and smile focused on the crowd.

“Hmm.” Twilight said thoughtfully. “What about that?”

She gestured to the imposing guillotine that still lurked at the edge of the stage.

“T-that?” Trixie spluttered. “S-starlight, that’s not one of my tricks. That’s real.”

“Phsss, you’re the Great and Powerful Trixie.” Twilight grinned, while waving to the seated Ponies. “You’ll make it work.”

“Yeah...” Trixie replied uncertainly, before a look of defiant confidence crossed her features. “Yeah!”

“And now, for her final trick this evening, the Great and Powerful Trixie will defy death itself!” Twilight had the announcer loudly exclaim, “This magic is highly dangerous, so please remain silent, and DON’T. TRY. THIS. AT. HOME.”

Despite the words, there was a gasp from the crowd as Trixie dragged the cruel device centre stage. For her part, Twilight just kept smiling and struck a theatrical pose, reared up on her hind legs, her front hooves one above the other, gesturing to the magician. Once the guillotine was in position Trixie began the arduous task of pulling the heavy sloped blade to its top position by the rope and pulley. When it was raised as far as it would go, Twilight raised the lunette, and was about to place her head inside when Trixie spoke up.

“Are you sure about this?” She grunted fearfully, straining against the weight of the blade.

“It’ll be fine,” Twilight grinned as she lowered the lunette down upon her neck. Once it was firmly in place she threw the blue Unicorn a sly upward glance. “Just as long as you remember the magic words.”

“Oh, um, right...” Trixie replied reassuringly.

Twilight simply suppressed a giggle as she discreetly made a small portion of her neck intangible. She didn’t necessarily trust the magician’s grip on the rope, and there was no room for mistakes. Once she was satisfied that the blade would pass harmlessly through her, she mentally commanded an ominous drumroll to reverberate around the room. The Ponies in the room sat on the edge of their seats, none dared breathe.

“Hocus pocus, um, around the bend, er, please oh please don’t let this hurt my friend!” Trixie announced.

The drumroll came to an abrupt stop. Trixie let go of the rope. The blade swiftly fell into its housing with a loud ‘thock’. The crowd audibly gasped.

Twilight would have been lying if she said there hadn’t been a tiny, mean-spirited part of herself that didn’t want to allow her head to be parted from her shoulders at this particular moment, just for the sheer devilment of it. However, that was a thought that was unbecoming of the guardian of the dream realm, and far from conducive to Trixie’s mental well-being and pleasant dreaming, so the Princess supressed it down as far as it would go. Instead, she kept her head exactly where it was supposed to be, and flashed her most winning smile to the audience, waving her forelegs from behind the guillotine to prove that, yes, she was indeed still alive and well, head somehow still attached. Trixie stood stiffly frozen, her face contorted into a tense, fearful grin. When she saw that Starlight (who she believed to be Starlight, that is) was okay, she slowly let out a sigh of relief. It was only then that she seemingly remembered that she was onstage, and she looked out across the club. For a moment, everything was deathly quiet.

“Um, ta-dah?” The magician said timidly.

The crowd went insane. Cheering, whooping, standing on chairs, standing on tables, even. Dozens of flowers were hurled up at the pair as Trixie began hoisting the blade back up again. Once it had reached its full height, she held it fast, whilst Twilight carefully extracted herself from the executioner’s machine. Once the Princess was out and upright once again, she made a show of rubbing around her neck with her hoof, more to disguise the fact that she was returning it to its usual solid-state than anything else, but it did make for some good post-trick showponyship.

She and Trixie embraced in a quick hug before they took centre stage facing the crowd, and in unison, each holding the other’s hoof, reared up on their hind legs and bowed low to the audience.

“Thank you, thank you!” Trixie cried happily into the microphone. “The Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie accepts your adoration and applause!”

She turned to her assistant and bowed her head to her, which Twilight returned.

“Now, please take the roof off the club for Trixie’s daring and gorgeous assistant, Starlight Glimmer!” The magician continued proudly.

Twilight smiled widely, but her brow furrowed ever so slightly. Gorgeous, huh? Interesting. Very interesting.

The Princess didn’t have time to dwell on this latest bread-crumb that had been hoofed to her concerning Starlight and Trixie’s relationship, as at that moment the Unicorn stepped away from the mic and embraced her once more.

“Thank you, Starlight.” She whispered into her ear. “You were wonderful.”

“Nah,” Twilight smiled, tentatively placing her hooves on Trixie’s shoulders. “That was all you.”

Suspecting what she suspected about how Trixie felt towards Starlight, in hindsight, Twilight supposed she should have seen what happened next coming. There was a reason one wasn’t supposed to go galivanting around in dreams disguised as somepony else, and this was one of them. Twilight had broken the rules, and she was about to pay the price.

Trixie parted their hug just long enough to give Twilight a look into her dilated, half-lidded eyes, before the Unicorn placed one hoof around the Princess’ waist, one around her shoulders, bent the Alicorn over backwards and kissed her passionately on the lips.

The sounds of the starstruck crowd ringing in her ears, Twilight could do nothing except open her mouth in shock.

This, as it turned out, was a mistake.

The last thing the Princess heard was the crowd chanting ‘Trixie, Trixie, Trixie!’ before in a blind panic she abruptly ended the dream and was rudely ejected back into the collective unconscious, where she immediately fell over on her back. For a good few undignified seconds she turtled on the not-exactly-floor, all the while hacking, coughing and generally blowing raspberries, desperate to get the taste of that out of her mouth.

“Phtttttb,” she commented. “Ptttthhhhb, ugh, oh Celestia, phhttttbbb-bb.”

Well, she supposed she got what she deserved. Her friends had warned her to not go messing around with matters of the heart, but oh no, she was the Princess of Friendship, and she just had to go poking around in Trixie’s nightmare while dressed as Starlight.

Why hadn’t she just gone in as herself and changed the whole scene? Was she that afraid of Trixie that she couldn’t bear her ire? No, that wasn’t it. It was far more likely that she simply couldn’t resist sticking her nose into a mystery, even when it was a personal and private one of a close friend. Now she had Trixie’s dream-saliva all over her mouth, and she was safe in the knowledge that she had nopony to blame but herself.

Rising to her hooves and dusting herself off of dust that didn’t exist, she looked around. The orb had vanished, meaning that Trixie had woken up. She had no idea if she’d gotten away with it or not. She tapped her hooves nervously. Oh well. She supposed, that if she hadn’t, she’d hear about it soon enough.

Filing the whole affair away in a mental compartment marked ‘Things we take to the grave’, Twilight mustered all the dignity she could, and continued on her nightly patrol.

Far away, in the waking world, in a little caravan just outside the School of Friendship, a certain blue Unicorn was roused from her slumber. She sat up in her hammock, blinked her bleary eyes, and wiped the drool off her lips with the back of her hoof.

“Aw,” she said to the darkness. “That was just getting good.”