That list is a joke, but not an intentional one
View Online
Who Publishes a List Like That on April Fools Day, Anyway?
That list is a joke, but not an intentional one
“Wow, Rainbow Dash! Thanks so much for helping me through another milestone event in my life,” Scootaloo thanked her mentor. “As an impressionable, underage filly, I’m really glad to have someone in my life who can be such a positive influence.
“No problem, Scoots! You’re my favorite filly, after all.” Rainbow replied.
Suddenly, a stallion burst out of the bushes and clubbed Rainbow Dash over the head, cracking her skull into a bloody pulp. Scootaloo’s eyes widened in abject horror as she watched the most important pony in her life be brutally murdered right in front of her. She screamed in terror, but the stallion ignored her completely, too caught up in praising himself for his virtuous deeds.
“Thank goodness I stopped that predator when I did!” the stallion proclaimed, patting himself proudly on his back. “Did you hear what she said? She said that a filly was her favorite! Obviously, anyone who favorites fillies is a danger to society and should be dragged out into the streets and killed. Just think what she would have done to you if I hadn’t so nobally stepped up and saved you.”
“What the heck are you talking about!” Scootaloo yelled, angry and confused at this strange stallion. “Rainbow Dash loved me! She would never hurt or take advantage of me, or any filly else!”
“Pfft, clearly she’s just been grooming you,” the stallion responded self-assuredly. “You’re just too young and stupid to understand what a danger she was to you. Trust me, I’m very obviously superior to you in intelligence and morality, as any righteous pony should be able to tell. Here, come with me and let me show you all the terrible things she might have done to you.”
“Wait, what? Whoa!” Scootaloo yelped as the stallion knocked her out and abducted her. It was alright for him to do so, because it was for her own protection. He was obviously too perfect and noble to be a hypocrite.
Scootaloo woke up later, wondering what had happened. Where was she? She remembered watching Rainbow die in front of her, and started crying. Who was that stallion, and why was he so full of himself?
She tried to stand up, but quickly realized that she was tied up and unable to move.
It didn’t take long for the stallion in question to notice that she had woken up. He picked her up and tossed her onto a dirty mattress. She looked around the room, seeing with horror his bedroom’s decor. All over the walls were photos of young fillies and colts being violated and harmed by him, horrific images of rape and torture proudly on display all around. He noticed her look of terror.
“Oh, don’t worry little filly,” he reassured her. “I assure you, it’s perfectly alright when I do those things to little foals, because it’s just for research. I had to obsessively rape those foals, over and over again for months and years, in order to verify my research and make sure that I could better protect them in the long run. Just imagine if I hadn’t, and instead of me, they had been taken advantage of by some perverted foal fiddler!”
“That makes no sense!” Scootaloo protested. “You’re just a crazy person!”
“No I’m not,” the stallion reassured her. “Sure, a bunch of ponies all over Equestria have told me the same thing. But fortunately, I have a small chamber I go into to discuss my actions, and the echoes all assure me that I’m doing the right thing and that it’s literally everyone else in the world who is crazy and perverse. Me and my echo chamber are all determined to protect fillies like you from all the adults who might like you. Only we like you in the correct way, you know?”
“What the heck does any of that have to do with you killing Rainbow Dash and raping me?” Scootaloo begged. She had no idea what this stallion was talking about. Nothing he was saying made any sense.
“Well, obviously any grown mare who likes a filly only feels that way because she wanted to rape and abuse you. That’s why I had to kill her, you see? To protect you!” he explained. “And now I have to rape and abuse you so that I can research what I project she was going to do to you. It’s not as if I like doing this or anything, it’s just for the research, obviously.”
Scootaloo was about to protest further, but the incredibly virtuous and brave stallion decided that he had been talking too long, and could no longer resist the alluring, helpless, naked, hot filly on his bed, ready to be researched violently and thoroughly.
The stallion climbed onto the bed and lined himself up with the defenseless filly. As he slid into her, feeling her tight, virgin walls wrap around his cock, listening to her pained whimpers as he pushed further inside her, watched her eyes tear up as he violated her and stole her innocence away forever, he mentally praised himself for how brave and good he was for doing this.
Fifteen seconds later, he came inside the filly’s previously unspoiled womb. Thank goodness he had been able to protect this filly by taking her virginity before any foalphiles had gotten to her. He smiled as he watched the young pegasus cry with what were obviously tears of joy, to have lost her virginity to such a selfless stallion. The supple curves of her underdeveloped body shivering beneath him was enough to get him hard again, and he decided to continue his research as best as he could.
Flipping her over, he pinned her back onto the filthy mattress and pushed his cock into her tightly puckered anus. It utterly disgusted him that those perverts would ever dream of sodomizing such a defenseless young thing, but it was sadly his ordained duty to protect this foals from such cruel acts. As he listened to her scream in pain while her sphincter strained to stretch around him, he cursed that rainbow-maned pegasus for forcing him to do this. Still, he valiantly soldiered on, pounding her tight filly plothole with all his might, shoving himself deeper inside her with every stroke. Another twenty seconds (a new personal record!) later, he came inside her again. Boy, did protecting foals feel amazing!
Pulling out of her, he saw that his dick was now covered in blood, and that the filly was bleeding from both her young holes. “Thank goodness!” he thought to himself. “I guess I really did get to her before any abuser could defile her”.
“Well, little filly, do you feel safe now?” he asked, wiping his cock off on her fur. Scootaloo didn’t respond, she just curled up on his mattress and cried. “Too appreciative to speak, huh? Well, that’s okay. You’re welcome.”
The stallion retrieved a baseball bat from the corner of the room and raised it over her curled up body. “Anyway, now that I’ve made such a brave sacrifice by investigating what those foaldiddlers do to you poor innocents, I’d better kill you before you can tempt anypony else into becoming a pervert.”
“Wait… what?” Scootaloo asked, nearly too confused to even be afraid of being beaten to death.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what you’re doing,” the stallion told her. “Look at you, strutting around town naked, forcing righteous ponies like us to view underage nudes every day. The only way to prevent further spread of such disgusting imagery is to kill all you foals before your vile scheme to make us all abusers can succeed,” he explained.
“Wha-”
Scotalloos confused questions were cut off as the bat came down upon her, cracking her ribs and forcing the air from her lungs. She couldn’t even scream from the pain, as the air in her body was beaten out of her too quickly.
“Foals are disgusting!” he screamed as he continued to beat her. “Everyone who looks at a foal is disgusting! We need to ban all foals from the world, and kill everyone who has ever seen a foal at all, ever, in any context! Then only the pure and righteous will remain!” he ranted.
The stallion raised up the bat again and swung it down onto her again and again, mashing her soft, pliable flesh to a pulp. Even after she had stopped breathing, he kept beating the dead horse, continuing his incoherent ranting long after no pony was around to listen to him. That was alright. The voices would praise him. They would see that he wasn’t some pervert, but instead one of the only pure, good, clean, innocent ponies left. Actions like this would surely signal his virtue to them.
After a long while, he finally paused to survey his work. Blood, cum, and bits of filly flesh were splashed all over him and his room. He walked over to his camera and admired the photo it had snapped of him beating the raped filly to death. He hung it proudly on his wall. Another innocent saved.
He added her name to his list.
Author's Note
Any similarity to real life events or people is purely coincidental. This fic was not inspired by any fandom drama currently happening as of April, 2024. If you think otherwise, you are clearly reading too much into it.
Enjoy the fic.
