In the bustling port town on the Grand line, where ships docked and craftsmen worked tirelessly on their trade. On this particular day, the crew had disembarked to restock their supplies and enjoy a brief respite from their adventures. Usopp stood alongside Zoro with their hands held, so the former didn't get lost, as he examined the product on display.
“Huh, these eggs really are cheap. Just a few berry for a dozen…there’s a limit on how many we could get though…” He mumbled as he rubbed at his chin, the swordsman at his side was near half asleep from the mundane task. His eye only opened when Usopp began snapping in his face. “Zoro! Are you listening? I asked if you could go to that fruit stall over there. I want some mangos.
The swordsman nodded and began to walk off in a random direction before being tugged back by his crewmate. “Wrong direction.” He said flatly as he pointed at the opposite side of the market. “Go there and come right back, don’t stop for anything, understand? I’m serious Zoro.”
Zoro scoffed as his face grew slightly hot, “I knew that.” He grumbled, “I’m not a kid, Usopp.” then made his way over to the stall. As Zoro navigated through the bustling market, he couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed at Usopp's constant reminders. After all, he was a skilled swordsman, not some clueless child who would get lost at the drop of a hat.
As he reached the fruit stall, he picked out some mangos, making sure to get the juiciest ones he could find. Satisfied with his choices, he turned to head back to where Usopp was waiting. However, in the sea of people and stalls, everything looked the same, and Zoro quickly realized that he had no idea which way he had come from. He tried retracing his steps, but the way back seemed to stretch on endlessly in every direction. Panic began to creep into his chest as he realized he was well and truly lost.
“Next time you get lost, ask someone for directions and follow them exactly. Never trust your intuition.” He could nearly hear Nami say in the back of his mind, a piece of advice given whenever she was the one to find him. “Oh! And ask a woman.”
Zoro grumbled to himself, as he scanned the crowd for someone to ask. Spotting no one in the, notably more colorful town besides a few horses. They eye him suspiciously as he walks past, but he stays focused on his search…because…they are horses. Just as he resolved to cut his loses and navigate his own way back, a pink pony seemed to appear in front of him.
The pink pony, with a cheerful smile on her face, trotted up to Zoro, her hooves clopping against the cobblestone road. "Hi! I haven't seen you in ponyville before." she tilted her head curiously.
Zoro blinked in surprise then frowned at the creature. "Uh…ponyville?” He scratched his head, feeling a bit bewildered. He didn’t recall being anywhere near a town full of talking horses. ponies. Talking ponies. Minks?
The pink pony giggled, her mane bouncing as she spoke. "Yep! Ponyville! You must be new here. What's your name?" she asked, her bright blue eyes filled with curiosity.
Zoro blinked again before huffing and looking around his surroundings. The town seemed to have a lack of anything but these ponies. He glared down at the one still smiling up at him. “Why are you pink?”
“Oh.” The pink pony then giggled, "That's just how I am! I'm Pinkie Pie, the best party pony in all of Equestria!"
Zoro's confusion only deepened. Equestria? He has got to get the fuck out of here. “You still havent told me your name, big guy? And what are you exactly? You don’t look like a pony… you don’t have enough legs. Oh… oh…unless your a scaleless dragon or a weird minotaur or-” The swordsman could feel his headache grow as he continued to carry on, and the bright colors certainly weren’t helping.
Zoro squinted at Pinkie Pie. His hand instinctively went to his swords, feeling more and more uneasy at the idea of being stuck with talking ponies. "I'm Zoro," he grumbled. "And I'm not any of that. I'm a swordsman, and I'm lost."
Pinkie Pie's eyes widened with excitement. "Wow! A swordsman! I don't know what a man is but that sounds super duper cool! But hey, if you're lost, I can help you find your way. Ponyville isn't too big, so it's hard to get lost here. Plus, we have the best parties to welcome newcomers!" She bounced on her hooves, eager to lend a helping hoof.
"Fine but I don’t want " he grumbled, resigned to accepting Pinkie Pie's offer of assistance. "Lead the way, but make it quick." Zoro begrudgingly followed, keeping a wary eye on his surroundings as they made their way through Ponyville. The colorful buildings and friendly faces of the ponies they passed only served to further bewilder him.
As they approached Zoro could see more and more decoration. Balloons, streams, confetti, all things he wasn't all that fond of. Pinkie Pie led Zoro through the winding streets of Ponyville, her bouncy gait contrasting with the swordsman's stern stride. The bright colors and cheerful atmosphere seemed to grate on Zoro's nerves with every step.
"So, where exactly are we going?" Zoro grumbled, eyeing the decorations with suspicion.
"Why, to the biggest, most super-duper party Ponyville has ever seen!" Pinkie exclaimed, turning to face Zoro with a wide grin. "It's gonna be a welcome party just for you!"
Zoro's face contorted into a scowl. "I didn't ask for a party. I just need to find my way back to the port."
Pinkie Pie giggled, unfazed by Zoro's gruff demeanor. "Don't be silly! Every new friend deserves a party. It'll be loads of fun, I promise!"
Before Zoro could protest further, colorful ponies seemed to bust out from every corner yelling, "SURPRISE!!" As the swordsman staggered back, gripping and unsheathing wado while glaring at the creatures who ambushed him.
Author's Note
Zoro is the worst straw hat to be in this situation