My Little Pokemon Silver Spoon Version

“Alright, on to our next Gym Battle!” Ash whooped. Pikachu pumped his tiny fist from Ash’s shoulder.

“And I want to get some training for Psyduck.” Misty gave her belt a quick glare. “How about some practice matches later on?”

“Hope you’re ready to lose!” He sure was cheerful. A deep sleeper, thankfully, but once he was up Ash Ketchum was up. As bright and energetic as the electric mouse on his shoulder.

These sleeping habits are going to kill me.

“Where is the next gym anyway? Brock?”

“Let’s see…” Brock stopped walking so he could flip through his guidebook with both hands. “Next nearest gym is the Fuchsia Gym. It’ll be quite a walk to get there. Good thing we’re stocked up.”

“The Fuchsia Gym, alright! I can’t wait to earn my sixth badge!” He had to make an effort not to start running but thankfully for my sleep deprived brain we were standing at a crosswalk and it wasn’t safe to cross. By time the lights changed his little burst of energy had dulled enough to continue walking.

“Hm, it’s got to be around here somewhere.” Brock mumbled under his breath.

“Huh? What does?” I tugged on his hand when he didn’t hear me. “What are you looking for?”

“We’re going to be passing through a very special street on our way out of the city.” He grinned to himself, holding his guidebook to make sure I couldn’t see what he was looking at. “We should be there soon. It should be just around the corner now!”

“What?” Ash asked him just as we made that turn.

“Scissors Street.” We read off the big billboard.

It was store after store advertising pokemon breeder gear and accessories. Tools of the trade, books, food stores, salons, they had everything!

“Is this what Breeder Heaven looks like?” Misty wondered aloud, to which Flora snickered and Weiss muttered ‘phrasing’.

“I guess that explains why you were excited to get here.” Ash chuckled. “Did you want to look at these shops?”

“Yes, and there’s one in particular I want to find.” He snapped his guidebook shut and continued down the street.

This street didn’t have car access, meaning it was safe for people to walk along at all times of the day. The stores themselves were pretty interesting. I saw some interesting books through a window and lots of places had posters advertising various Pokemon Breeder Programs, including one for Lapras, I saw.

We passed some salons too. Some trainers were clearly just here to spoil their pokemon rather than preparing to compete. I dreaded coming here with Diamond Tiara, although I wondered what sort of pokemon she would have. And the Crusaders too. I could see Applebloom with a grass type like Bulbasaur, Scootaloo would have a fast flying type like Spearow, and Sweetie Belle would have something cute and adorable.

“Let’s see…Hmmm….” Brock kept scouting the area, twisting his neck around to make sure he didn’t miss whichever store he was looking for.

“Wow, look at that!” Misty walked right up to where a big poster was plastered. It featured an Ekans and Koffing dressed up…I’m not sure how to describe it. There were stars and sheets of fabric in a kind of dress for the Ekans and…eye shadow? Some sort of color powder.

“This must be the latest style!” She went gaga over it. “It’s so cute!”

“Huh, Ekans’ outfit is kind of growing on me. It kind of reminds me of Serperior.” Flora’s comment earned her a glance from Weiss.

“Cute? Seems stupid to me.” Ash was keeping his voice down, maybe remembering how a similar comment got him preemptively banned from the Celadon gym, but he wasn’t quiet enough to avoid Misty hearing him.

“Hmph! That’s just because you have no fashion sense.” She put her hands on her hips haughtily.

The main thing about the poster that caught my eye was the logo. A pink R in a white bubble with a red background. It had to be a coincidence, right? Team Rocket was a criminal organization dedicated to stealing pokemon. They wouldn’t run a salon. They definitely wouldn’t run a salon and put their symbol down as the logo, right?

“Oh! I see it!” Brock cried out, taking off down the street. “The store I’ve always dreamed of visiting!”

“Brock, wait up!” We called after him.

This salon was far more humble than the Lovely-Charmy salon. The logo was a sleeping fox pokemon and the name of the store was simply Suzie’s. Brock was hovering outside the door, one shaking hand stuck extended over the handle.

“Well, are we going in or not?” Ash pushed past him.

“How does that feel, Chancey?” A young woman was massaging a Chancey at one of the tables.

“Chancey chan chancey!” Chancey certainly seemed happy with her massage.

Brock was frozen in place, staring at the woman. He didn’t seem to be in his, now, normal state of infatuation though. This was different. More awkward and nervous.

Behind us, the bell suspended over the door rang. “Chancey darling, I’m here for you!” The…man? The person who walked in was a tad androgynous, and from the wardrobe and make-up I guessed it was a purposeful effect. For a second there I thought James had walked in considering they had similar voices.

“Chancey!” Chancey bounced off the table, fur gleaming shiny and smooth. She seemed full of energy, even more so than the Chancey normally seen at Pokemon Centers.

“You look divine, darling!” Chancey’s trainer welcomed her back and together they exited the store.

“May I help the next customer?” The woman approached us, using a towel to wipe massage oil off her hands.

“Oh, we’re just sorta kinda browsing.” Ash answered uncertainly.

“Oooh, look at this Vulpix!” Misty gasped. Behind the curtain was a fox pokemon fast asleep on a fancy chair, identical to the logo of this salon. “This one’s so gorgeous, those flowing tails, that soft and silky fur.” Misty bent down.

“Ah, wait! Please don’t touch her!” The woman started forward.

“Misty!” Flora grabbed her hands before she could make contact with Vulpix. “Are you nuts!? Vulpix breathes fire!”

“I was just going to pet it.” She pouted.

“I’m sorry, but Vulpix doesn’t like to be touched by strangers.” The woman sighed in relief. Looking down, I noticed Vulpix had one eye cracked open and she didn’t look particularly pleased with how close Misty was, Flora having taken an impressive leap back.

How Flora could remain calm in a building fire but still freakout over fire type pokemon would remain a mystery to me. Weiss wasn’t jumpy about traveling in a group with a Pikachu. Maybe it was the same thing with Misty and bug pokemon, and Flora just didn’t like fire types.

“Oh, sorry.” Misty laughed nervously as she stepped back.

“Uh, Suzie?” Brock stepped forward, standing straight with his arms locked at his sides.

“Yes?”

“Uh, my name's Brock. Nice to meet you, Suzie. Uh, I want to breed like you.” He grimaced, eyes going wide. “I-I mean I want to be a Breeder like you!”

“Oh!” She smiled at him. “I’m flattered you’d choose me as your model, Brock.”

“Yes, I want to model you. I mean, I'm flattered that you're flattered. I mean, your Vulpix is nice.”

“Is she really that great a Breeder?” Ash asked the question that I was thinking.

“Have you been living under a rock?” Brock rounded on him, making me doubly glad I’d kept my mouth shut. “Suzie Hollingshead is the three time champion of the International Pokemon Breeders Contest! She’s also been voted as Pokemon Lovers Monthly’s Top Breeder, four years running!”

“On top of that, this Vulpix is a champion in the Contest Arena, single-handedly winning more than a dozen ribbons for her trainer!” He positioned himself over the antsy pokemon. “Take note of that gleaming coat, the silkiness of her tails, the—!” FWOOSH! “…strength of…her flamethrower.”

“I’m terribly sorry about that, she can be a bit testy around strangers.” Suzie bowed apologetically. “Please, let me make it up to you. Why don’t I treat you all to lunch?”

“Lunch?” Ash, Weiss and Flora pounced.

Suzie handled tea and snacks for us while Brock dished out some food for Pikachu. “So you’re all traveling together on your pokemon journeys?”

“That’s right.” Ash kept one eye on the snacks even when he was talking.

“Getting to travel with friends must be nice. It was just me and my pokemon during my journey.” She commented. “Do you plan to stay in Celadon city long?”

“Only me. They’re planning on leaving later today, but I’m sure Brock wouldn’t mind staying as your pupil.” Flora explained, getting catty about Brock’s obvious crush on Suzie.

“Oh. While I’m flattered, I don’t have pupils. Breeding takes up all my time.” Suzie waved off Brock’s embarrassment at Flora’s comment.

“Ooh, by the way, do you know anything about that new trend going around? I saw some of their advertisements, the pokemon looked so cute!” Misty attempted to change the topic.

“New? Oh, you must meant the Lovely-Charmy’s signature style.” Suzie’s shoulders slumped.

“Their really tacky style.” I looked back to Ash and saw he’d stuffed half a muffin in his mouth.

“They’re part of a new line of thought among stylists, that a pokemon’s outer appearance is best enhanced through props and make up.” Suzie explained, not seeming to mind Ash’s poor manners.

“Vul?” Our conversation faltered as Vulpix jumped onto the bench with Pikachu, sniffing curiously at his dish. Pikachu wasn’t stingy with his food and happily offered some. “Vul!”

“Oh wow.” Suzie breathed. “I’ve never seen Vulpix eat food that I haven’t prepared myself before!”

“That’s Brock’s personal recipe!” Misty was quick to hype. “He makes the food for most of our pokemon! Mine love it a lot more than the store bought brands, that’s for sure!”

Suzie laughed, relaxing in her chair. “I see. You know, it was pokemon nutrition that first got me interested in Breeder work.”

“I’m honored that Vulpix likes my food!” Tears streamed down Brock’s face. “I’m not worthy!”

“It’s clear you’re very talented too. If you make all of Pikachu’s meals that certainly explains his gorgeous coat and shiny cheek pouches.” She continued.

“Yeah, and Pikachu doesn’t need any goofy dresses or make up to look good.” Ash put his hands on his hips, almost elbowing me in the ribs.

“Pikachu looks good now but a few accessories would really make him irresistible.” Misty countered.

Sensing a storm brewing, I shuffled closer to Brock.

“Pikachu’s perfect the way he is! It’s what’s on the inside that counts!” Ash started strong.

“I never said the inside wasn’t important but you should keep the outside in mind too!” And Misty rose to the challenge with aplomb.

“If you like their fashion so much why don’t you take Psyduck there?” Ash jokingly suggested.

“That’s a great idea!” Misty stood up, calling out Psyduck. Her double-take at his appearance made it clear she was rethinking her stance. She rallied fast, shaking any doubt out of her head. “We’ll go to that salon and Psyduck will end up even cuter than Pikachu!”

“Pfft, yeah right! We’ll see who gets the last quack!” He had to lean against the table to catch his breath.

“You’ll see!” Misty had made up her mind though. There was no way she’d back down from any kind of challenge from Ash.

I am so glad I didn’t get caught up in that.

“I wonder if I haven’t been giving the outside enough attention.” Suzie’s sigh could be heard over the ringing of the doorbell. “Ever since that new salon opened up I’ve been questioning my own methods.”

“Suzie, you mustn’t doubt yourself!” Brock stood up, almost knocking his chair to the floor. “You have to stand up for what you believe in! Defend it with all your might!”

“Yeah!” Ash pumped his fist.

“But…How?” She blinked at them.

“That other salon makes a lot of style without substance, right? Then we’ll just have to give them substance with style!” Brock declared.

“Ah, so uh, how can we help?” I furrowed my brows as Weiss looked on impassively.

We could help by advertising a series of Pokemon Health Lectures for Suzie to give. Brock and Flora drew in customers and explained what each lecture would be about. Ash and I brought out our pokemon, allowing Suzie to demonstrate various techniques for the audience.

Different pokemon require different massage techniques. Giving a Pikachu a massage should generally focus on the cheek pouches, where they store their electricity. Charmanders should be given back massages, focusing heavily on the shoulders, especially as they get closer to evolving. A Bulbasaur carries most of its tension in the neck.

As she walked us through the different techniques she also talked about other things. How to check for parasites and what to do if you found some. A Pikachu with lice was a nightmare waiting to happen and anything burrowing into a Bulbasaur’s seed could be fatal.

Suzie’s lectures were proving popular. Brock and Flora filled every spare inch of space with customers and Suzie herself was in her element, calmly demonstrating everything with Ash and I as her volunteers. At the moment I had Clefairy in my arms. She was bubbling over with energy after her turn on the massage table.

“After a battle a pokemon should be given a firm deep muscle massage.” Suzie explained, showing the different points of interest on Pikachu as she talked.

“PSYPSYPSYPSYPSYPSYPSY!” Myself and a lot of other people jumped at the sudden caterwauling. People shifted to make room for the extremely distressed psyduck trying to get through.

“Psyduck?” Weiss recognized him first. “What’s wrong?”

“PSYPSYPSYPSY!” He kept crying, clutching his head like it was going to explode.

“Did something happen to Misty?” I asked as Weiss knelt down beside him, offering a hand in comfort.

“Psy!” He nodded, tugging on her hand to lead us out the door.

“Let’s go!” Ash barreled past me. He even picked up Psyduck so we wouldn’t have to wait for him to waddle. Behind us I heard the crowd murmuring in concern but I paid them no mind. I had a friend in trouble to save.

Psyduck led us to the Lovely-Charmy.

Because of course Team Rocket would use an R as their logo despite the name of their establishment not having the letter.

On a side note, Team Rocket is surprisingly good at face paint.

Misty had been tied to a chair with Team Rocket flanking either side. They’d done something to her clothes, adding accessories, a jacket, and buttons, but it was her face that really caught the eye.

I was suddenly very disappointed that my camera was in my bag back at Suzie’s.

“What took you guys so long?” Misty didn’t seem upset, actually managing to joke around despite her position as a hostage.

“Misty…your face…” Ash and Brock’s cheeks puffed out in a clear attempt to hold back gales of laughter.

“Bahaha! I didn’t know the circus was in town!” Flora…didn’t even try.

“It, um, it’s not…” My kingdom for a camera!

Ash quickly smothered his amusement. “Let Misty go, Team Rocket!”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait your turn. We’re not finished with her make-over just yet.” Jessie smirked.

“We’re conducting some important beauty research.” James nodded, flicking one of Misty’s buns.

“Beauty research?” Suzie’s voice shocked us all. She and Vulpix, along with most of the crowd from her store, had followed us. “All you’re doing is obscuring a pokemon’s natural beauty! A true Pokemon Breeder works with pokemon to bring out the best of them from the inside out!”

“Please, what would some nobody know about Breeding?” James flicked his hair.

“Aren’t breeding and fashion separate areas of expertise?” Weiss…actually brought up a good point.

“You don’t know anything about Breeding either!” Meowth snapped, swiping ineffectively at James and Jesse. “Remember this whole salon business was a scam! We bring in customers and make up dopey fashions for them to pay us hundreds for, then when a trainer brings in a rare pokemon we steal it! Why is that so hard for you to remember?”

“Oh fine, it was nice while it lasted.” Jessie sighed, forlorn. She gave us a wicked smile. “How about a trade then? This twerpy girl for your Pikachu?”

“There’s no way we’re letting you take Pikachu!” Pikachu jumped from Ash’s shoulders, ready to fight.

“If it’s a fight you’re after then you’ve got it!” Brock pulled out a pokeball.

“Then come one, come all to Team Rocket’s fabulous new battleground!” James held up a remote. Smoke enveloped the room and the sound of grinding gears filled the air.

When the smoke cleared the salon was gone, replaced with a battleground that gave Team Rocket the high ground and kept Misty well out of reach of any rescue attempts.

Team Rocket themselves were halfway up the stairs, dressed in radically different outfits. James was in a wine red dress and a wig. Jessie was dressed like a prince. They were both posed in the most dramatic position possible.

Which could only mean one thing.

“Is there a pokemon I can ask for patience?” I groaned out to Weiss as I took out a pokeball.

“If you ask us this or that…”

“The pity of the world is what responds!”

“To prevent the destruction of the world!”

“To protect the peace of the world!”

“To stand by the evils of love and truth!”

“The lovely, charmy villains!”

“Jessie!”

“James!”

“The pair from Team Rocket soars through the galaxy!”

“A white hole, a white tomorrow awaits us!”

“Something like that!”

Well at least they changed the motto to fit their salon’s name.

“We’ve really got to fight on this?” Ash asked with a groan.

“Ekans! Koffing! Take center stage!” And the evidence keeps piling on. A Koffing and Ekans, paired together even with that ridiculous fashion in the way? I feel kinda dumb for not realizing it sooner.

“Should we get involved?” I heard Flora whisper to Weiss.

“Not yet.”

“Misdreavus use Confuse Ray!” I sent Misdreavus out as I wasn’t going to hang back while Misty was in danger.

“Mis drea vus.” Misdreavus laughed, the large orb on her neck glowing a sinister purple.

“Oh, the pretty colors.” Meowth sighed as he, Ekans and Koffing became disoriented.

“Geodude, Seismic Toss!” Brock capitalized on the opening I’d made. Geodude swept Ekans up and tossed it back to the ground with ease.

“Ek…Ekaaanssss.” It collapsed, too disoriented to try breaking the fall.

“Koffing-cutie, hit them with a Sludge makeover!” James called.

“Koff…” It whimpered, eyes unfocused.

I smirked.

“Misdreavus, Shadow Sneak.”

A shadow appeared below Misdreavus before extending towards Koffing. The second the shadow reached Koffing it sprung up and attacked Koffing, launching him up the stairs and into Ekans.

And that was all the opening Ash needed.

“Pikachu, give’em a Thunderbolt!” He yelled.

I braced for the flash. Once I blinked away the spots I checked on the enemy pokemon and Team Rocket, expecting them to either be twitching on the ground or blasting off into the sky.

Ekans and Koffing were unharmed.

“Wha? How?” Ash looked at me with wide eyes.

“See? Our fashions are beautiful and functional!” Jessie held up a saber. “Now Ekans, Koffing, attack!”

“Vulpix.” There was a streak of red positioning itself firmly between us and Team Rocket. To my left, Suzie appeared.

“Fire Spin.” With one cold utterance the entire world lit aflame. A raging tornado of heat that blew onto Ekans, Koffing, and didn’t stop there. Up the stairs it went.

I had just enough time to fear for Misty’s very life before the Fire Spin stopped, gone as quickly as it had come.

With Team Rocket nowhere in sight.

“Whoa.”

“Guys!” Misty shouted, still in the chair at the top of the stairs, unhurt except for some stray ash coloring her hair. “Aren’t you forgetting something? Hurry up and untie me!”

“Psyyyy!” Psyduck burst into tears of joy, waddling up the stairs as quickly as he could.

“And Psyduck, how could you just run away and leave me like that, huh?” Misty stopped him cold.

“Ah, Misty? He’s the one who got us.” I explained just as Weiss let off a low growl.

“He did?” She looked him over again. He was now standing by the chair, fiddling nervously with his hands and looking up at her with a hopeful expression. Finally, her features softened. “Thank you, Psyduck.”

“Everything looks to be wrapping up here, why don’t we go back to Suzie’s?” Brock suggested. He’d returned Geodude while I’d been occupied and Ash had untied Misty. She hadn’t returned Psyduck yet, choosing to shower him in affection first.

“The three of you battle well together. Your teamwork was quite impressive.” Suzie praised us as we reentered her shop.

“Oh please, you’re making me blush!” Brock laughed a little too loudly. He really did blush at that and coughed into his fist.

“I was impressed by your Vulpix. That had to be the strongest fire attack I’ve ever seen!” Misty declared as I heard one of the girls mutter that they’d seen better.

“Vulpix and I have been partners for years now.” Suzie smiled for a moment before something occurred to her.

“Ah, uh, Misty?” She was still wearing Team Rocket’s…style. Where was my bag?

I grabbed it and dug for the camera. Found it!

“Yeah, Sarah?” She turned towards me, unknowing. Before she could react I lifted the camera, aimed, and took the shot.

“Sarah, what was that for?” She grimaced, rubbing spots out of her eyes.

“PFFFTHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!” Ash broke down in tears. “Your face! Look at your face!”

“Wha?” Misty turned towards one of the mirrors set up around the salon. I saw the very moment when she fully took in what Team Rocket had done to her.

I snapped another shot.

“Sarah…” Her voice was more growl than words.

I edged back, trying to keep the smile off my face.

“Give me that camera!”

She chased me around the massage tables, trying to corner me. I happily sprinted and vaulted over the tables while she had to take longer rounding them. It was easy to keep two or three tables between us, even when she angrily ordered Psyduck to help.

Eventually she was panting on the floor and I was feeling the burn. Psyduck had collapsed some time ago and Suzie was giving him a massage. The others were talking, content to watch us playfight.

“You’d better not show that to anyone.” Misty conceded with a sour look.

“I won’t.” I promised.

But I will have it printed and put in an album.

“The five of you are leaving soon, right?” Suzie checked in after we’d rested a little. Misty was still wiping her face of all the paint, leaving angry red spots where she’d scrubbed too hard.

“Yeah, we’re off to Fuchsia city for my next Gym Battle!” Ash and Pikachu pumped their fists.

“In that case.” She picked up Vulpix and walked over to Brock. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Anything, just name it!” He agreed enthusiastically.

“Please take Vulpix with you on your journey.” She requested.

“What? But isn’t Vulpix your prized partner?” He stumbled over his words.

“That’s true, and I love her dearly.” She nodded, looking down at the pokemon in her arms. “But today has helped me make up my mind. I’m going to do some traveling and further my education as a Pokemon Breeder. But Vulpix gets bored when I’m so focused on studying and I know she misses having battles now and then. So please, take her with you for the time being.” She offered a pokeball in one hand.

“I…I would be honored, Suzie.” Brock accepted it solemnly. With shaking hands, he returned Vulpix. “I promise I’ll take good care of her until she’s safely returned to you.”

“Thank you, Brock. And here.” She pulled out a slip of paper. “This is my email so you can get in touch with me.”

“O-Oh! Here, I’ll give you mine too!” He scrambled for something to write with.

We didn’t stay long after that. We had our supplies, Brock had Vulpix, and it was time to get moving. Suzie had some packing to do before she left but she and Flora saw us off on the road that led out of Celadon city. An actual paved road this time, which was an interesting change of pace.