Adventures Are No Fun.

Screech sat at a table for her breakfast of cold hey, warm oats and a bruised apple. Luna's cafeteria looked different from below the rafters. Scoops was beside her. Melodie was beside scoops.

"You look awful," said Wild as he sat across from Melodie.

"I didn't sleep much," hissed Screech.

Scoops leaned against Screech. "I hope a mare didn't keep you up."

Wild picked up his apple. "Not unless nightmares count. I could hear her screaming through the wall all night."

Scoops laughed. "I could make her her scream all night."

Screech shoved Scoops to the floor. "I am glad my torment is funny to you!"

Melodie offered Scoops a hoof.

Scoops ignored Melodie and saddled up beside Screech. "Your torment is not funny. We can cut class and I can show you how serious I was."

"Slut," Melodie spat. She took her breakfast and moved to a different table.

Screech nodded. "Okay. I can't skip school. We can kiss after."

Scoops breathed a sigh of relief. "Great. I need to go find... something." She hopped of her chair and trotted away in the direction Melodie went.

Wild stared at Screech.

"What?"

Wild shrugged. "I will get you some new crayons while I am out today."

Bobo sat behind Screech in history class. Despite being much older he was still in her grade. So were Wild, Scoops and half the orphans in the bad wing.

A spit ball hit Screeche's ear making it twitch.

Dr. Papyrus giggled and continued the lesson.

A spit ball hit Screeche's ear making it twitch.

Dr. Papyrus giggled and continued the lesson. "Screech, can you tell the class who forged the crystal heart?"

Screech cocked her head. "No pony. The crystal heart was found here in Ponyville. There is an exhibit in the exact spot it was found in Platinum Park."

Dr. Papyrus frowned.

Screech realized her mistake.

"I have to step out for a moment," said Dr. Papyrus. She gave Screech one last glare before she left the room.

Screech could hear her classmates breathing.

A spit ball hit Screeche's muzzle making her grimace.

Ponies jumped out of their seats all across the room. Some big orphans. Some small non-orphans. One dozen unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies united to kick one bat pony's flank.

Screech flipped through her history book. She pretended she didn't notice she was surrounded.

"What are you doing!" barked Bobo.

Everypony jumped. "Just put your head down," commanded a colt.

Bobo snarled and bared what remained of his teeth. "The pony was right. We diamond dogs found your silly little heart."

"No!" yelled half the mob. "The crystal heart was made by Princess Faire Croire Cadenza. She was the earth pony goddess of the Frozen North."

Bobo laughed. "They are mad at you- a bat pony- because their religion is wrong about history."

Screech looked at Bobo and raised an eyebrow. "You do know we are in St. Luna's School For Enlightened Ponies?" She showed him where in her textbook it said geologists were wrong and that the crystal heart was made by a goddess.

Bobo laughed again. His roaring laughter shook the room.

The members of the mob exchanged glances and went back to their seats. Screech was a monster, but also a pony. Bobo was different enough to be worth fearing.

Dr. Papyrus returned to find all of her students exactly as she left them. She frowned, but continued her lesson.

Screech met Scoops in her bedroom. Aside from a Little League trophy there were no decorations. The only decoration in her own room was her certificate of heroism.

Scoops saw Screech looking at her trophy and threw it under her bed. She smiled. "I have been waiting for you all day."

Screech hissed. "You smell like Blue Grass."
Scoops waved her hoof dismissively. "We were hanging out."

"I can smell his spit on you mouth and ears."

Double Scoop sighed. "Can't we pretend you don't."

"No!"

Scoops rolled her eyes. "Fine. I will take a shower."

"You said..." Screech bit her tongue.

"You said no."

"You said you loved me!" snapped Screech.

Scoops shrugged. "I love a lot of ponies. She kissed Blue Grasse's spit onto Screehe's cheek. "I love you most."

Screech dove to the ground so fast she left four divots in the dirt beneath her hooves. "Your friend is a jerk!"

Wild nodded. "All of my friends are jerks. Even you two wings."

"Blue Grass kissed Scoops today."

"A lot of ponies have kissed Scoops. She is a slut."

"It was different then. I didn't like her then."

Wild nodded. He handed Screech a box of crayons. "Happy one week anniversary."

Screech cocked her head.

"It has been one week since you came back to Luna's."

A train barreled past Screech.

"Why are you sitting by the train tracks?"

"Beer."

"Tell Blue Grass to stay away from Scoops."

"Tell him yourself."

Screech look at the sky. "I did. He said no."

"Yeah. He is a jerk."

Screech stomped. "So am I." She spun in a circle nine times. She took off. She flew back to where she was standing and spun in a circle nine times.

Screech sat on the beanbag chair in Dr. Red's office.

"How was your week back in Ponyville?" asked Dr. Red.

Screech sighed. "Far too long. It passed in a blink."

"Care to tell me about it?"

Screech sighed heavily. "Yes."

Screech, Bobo and Melodie sat on the rubber floor in Platinum Park.

Bobo laughed. He examined the crayon he held. "This is fun. I never had crayons before. Only chalk."

Melodie drew little spirals.

Screech nodded. "It was the least I could do. Thank you for helping me. I didn't want to hurt all of those ponies."

Bobo nodded. "I know how bad it feels to hurt others. Thank you for forgiving me."

Screech shrugged. "I forgive quickly. That is just the way I was born."

The three continued drawing.

"How were the two of you orphaned?" asked Melodie.

Screech pressed her wings against her sides. "My momma had an accident. My papa had a heart attack."

Bobo hummed quietly. He was thinking hard. "I don't know. I have always been alone."

Melodie held up her picture. Two umbrum and dozens of ponies wearing green cloaks bowing to a windigo.

"Your parents joined a cult?" asked Screech.

"That is not a cult," said Bobo. "All umbrum worship windigo."

Melodie raied an eye brow. "Who told you that?"

Bobo thought for a few moments. "How much of what that school teaches is true?"

"Sixty percent," said Screech. "Just enough to make the truths and lies indistinguishable."

The good wing of Luna's. It was only a short trot from the bad wing. It was built after most of the original building collapsed during a hydra attack. It was larger, more sturdy and more well maintained than the bad wing.

Screech walked across carpet down a hall with white walls. She listed to Bobo's big paw knock against the heavy oak door to Gilded Lily's office.

Melodie looked at the framed photographs of famous ponies who grew up in Luna's. One photo was cut into fourths because two of the ponies in it were not worth displaying. Melodie took in the majesty of the grand building. It was the first time she had set hoof inside.

The door opened. Gilded frowned at the children. "You are early."

"Can we come in?" asked Melodie.

"You may not!" Gilded adjusted her new designer diamond necklace. "I didn't call you here for tea. I called you here because Luna's is over budget. You bad creatures should not have a place here in the first place, so you are going to get me the money I need."

Bobo snorted.

Screech smiled. "How do you expect us to raise money?"

Gilded smiled. Her smile was warm and joyful. "All wards at Lunas have medical insurance. It is provided by the town. If a few wards sustained injuries Healing Hoof Insurance Co. may donate a small sum to help improve the safety of our establishment."

Melodie turned her muzzle up. "I am not helping you commit insurance fraud."

Gilded scoffed. "I am not surprised the umbrum does not want anypony to eat."

"What will I get in return?" asked Screech.

"What do you want?"

"I want to go to therapy twice a week, lumber, nails, a saw and a hammer."

"Done. Wreak havoc in the bad wing until I tell you to stop."

Screech and Gilded shook hooves. They looked to Bobo. He also shook Gilded's hoof.

Screech sat on top of a rafter in the cafeteria. Her breakfast of cold hey, warm oats and a bruised apple sat in front of her.

"You are not going to hurt anypony!" commanded Melodie.

Screech covered her ears. "Don't yell."

Wild laughed. "Every pony calls two wings a monster for a reason."

"Screech is not a monster."

"You are too new to know what Screech is truly like. Trust me. Two wings will hurt anypony she wants to."

"Screech is too sweet to want to hurt any pony."

Wild nodded in agreement. "I think so too. We are both wrong."

Scoops and Blue Grass sat at a table together.

Screech smiled at Melodie. "Don't worry. I am not going to hurt you."

"I am not worried about me," assured Melodie. "I am worried about yo-"

The moment Scoops and Blue Grass kissed, Screech dove off the rafter. She slammed into Blue Grass so hard the old rotting floor splintered under his back. Screech bludgeoned Blue Grass with her hooves. She wanted to use her fangs, but didn't want to kill him. Teeth and blood sprayed across the floor. Kids all around breathed sighs of relief it was not them under the bat pony.

Blue Grass was not a small colt. He was the same size as Screech. He swung his hooves against Screeche's face. His back legs thrust in an effort to buck his attacker off.

Screech took punch after punch on the chin. She could have avoided them but she knew she deserved the mild pain.

Scoops grabbed Screech by her main and pulled.

Blue saw Screeche's head rear back and her weight shifted off of him. He squirmed free and grabbed a piece of the broken floor.

Screech pulled Scoop's hooves from her hair and flew to the other side of the table.

"What is wrong with you!" screamed Scoops.

Screech spit blood on the table. "I told you to keep your hooves to yourself."

Blue pressed his shard of wood to Scoop's neck. "Shut up!" he commanded. "This is your fault slut!" He slashed the filly's throat.

Screech dove toward Blue punching him in the face hard enough to knock him onto his butt. She grabbed Scoops and bit her neck.

Blue thrust the wood like a rapier.

Screech took off toward the rafters but got a nasty gash on her foreleg. It burned as the dirty jagged wood tore through her flesh.

Blue took the opportunity to run away.

"Why did you hurt Blue?" asked Scoops after her neck was healed.

Screech licked the blood off her fangs and spit it onto the floor below. "He forced himself on you."

"No he didn't!" assured Scoops.

Screech bared her fangs. "Can't we pretend he did?"

Screech bit her bleeding leg. Despite the fact she held back she felt great, powerful, confident and in control. With any luck her leg would be healed before she started vomiting from guilt.

Melodie watched with amazement as the would in Screeche's leg magically closed. She forgot she was mad and disgusted. "How did you do that?"

Screech shrugged. "It is nothing special. I have magic fangs. It is just the way I was born."

Screech shot a marble across the orange rubber floor in Platinum Park. It missed all of Ham's marbles.

Wild ate another mini-muffin. Melodie didn't eat a single one. Screech took pink the main brush out of her gift basket. Blue Grass amassed quite the medical bill. Bobo cut the watermelon with his claws.

Scoops yelled, "Your colt friend got you a necklace," at a random mare who was talking to her friend. "That is cute. My Some pony special would kill for me." She cuddled Screech and told her she was a hero. Screech nearly vomited.

Melodie stared at the floor. "How can you be happy about what she did?"

Scoops laughed. "Every pony wants to be loved enough to have some pony kill for them. That is just how we are all born."

"You can say so until your dying breath," scoffed Bright Melodie. "It will never be true."

"Watermelon?" offered Bobo.

"The only universal truth is there is no truth in this universe," said Ham as he threw a marble.

Melodie looked up. "All of you are horrible. If I could make other friends- if every other pony in this horrible world was not just as bad as you are- I would never speak to any of you again."

"Same," said Wild.

"Ditto," called Screech.

"Not me," lied Scoops.

"What is your point?" asked Ham.

"Her point is that she is better than we are," said Wild.

Melodie opened her mouth to protest. She closed it without a word.

Bobo placed a melon slice in front of Melodie.

Blue Grass and all of his friends (except Wild and Ham) were sill in the hospital. Screech didn't remember which ponies trashed her room and threatened to beat her in class, but Bobo did. Any wards Screech and Bobo didn't hate were already released from the hospital.

Late at night Screech tore the floor out of Luna's cafeteria board by board. She was having no luck sleeping and there were no kittens on any lamp posts anywhere in Ponyville. By morning half the floor was replaced with new wood.

Scoops sauntered up to Screech. "This is amazing. I didn't know you could lay floors."

Screech pointed at her cutie mark. "I can fix anything."

Wild stood on the spot Blue Grass shattered the floor. He stood on sturdy new boards. "I can't believe Gilded got you the wood so quickly. It has only been five days."

"How can I help?" asked Bobo.

Screech cocked her head. "I don't know. I planned on fixing the bad wing alone."

Wild laughed. "Not a chance two wings. We all live here."

Screech held up her hammer. "I only have the one."

"Where is your measuring tape?" asked Ham.

Screech rolled her eyes and pointed at her cutie mark.

Wild sighed. "There is a construction sight a few streets over. I will head there and steal some tools. Be back in a few minutes." He walked out of the room as if he was going to the park for a stroll.

Bobo excitedly waited for Wild to return. Every time any pony walked through the door he jumped up.

Screech hammered a floor board into place.

Scoops watched Screech. "How long is this going to take?"

"Don't know. A few months."

Scoops groaned. "We have a date today. You promised to fly me to the new game shop on the other side of town. I can't walk there." She laughed.

"Sorry, but I can't put the hammer down. It is psychically impossible." Screech put the hammer down. "I can't do that." She picked the hammer back up. "I wish I could take you. This can't be done." She put the hammer down. "You understand what I am saying right?"

Scoops didn't laugh. "Yes. I do." She marched away.

Screech flew around Scoops stopping her. "What do you think I am saying."

"Nothing. Just that I am stupid."

"Yup. I was seriously implying you don't know what a hammer is."

"I know." Scoops walked away. She sat between two colts who were having a conversation.

Screech hissed to herself. She grabbed two breakfasts and sat cross from Scoops.

Wild returned with a big metal tool box. Bobo jumped up and down excitedly.

"Can you cut the lock?" asked Wild.

Bobo tore the heavy steel lock on the tool box to shreds with a swipe of his claws.

Screech sat at a small plastic table. She watched Scoops cheat at a board game made for foals. Mr. Paddle Ball was happy to let children play with all of his games and toys.

"You moved too many spaces," accused Seaglass.

Scoops scoffed. "I rolled a nine."

"You rolled a five and a three."

"Five plus three is nine. Right Screech?"

Screech nodded. "Sure." She wanted to be fixing the floor.

Seeglass counted to five then added three. "Eight," he said. "Five plus three is eight."

Scoops nodded. "You are right it is." She handed him the dice. "It is your turn." She did not move her piece back down the ladder.

Screech was stuck between full grown ponies playing a complicated game with armies of painted miniatures and backstories the length of novels, and her mare friend.

A filly entered Games For All Young And Old. Fun For All You And Me. She looked around with her one blue eye and her one eye made of rainbows and countless spider webs (it was made of glass). She handed Mr. Paddle Ball a flyer and exchanged a few words with him. She approached Screech and handed her a flyer.

Screech could not take her eyes off the filly's glass eyes. It looked like a crystal ball was shattered and put back together. "I like your eye."

The filly smiled. "Thanks. Made it myself. I am Hazard Caveat. Have you seen my cat?"

Screech looked at the flyer. Saw a picture of Hazard holding a grey kitten. "Bird Food."

Hazard cocked her head. "Is that a no? She has been missing for a week."

Screech took a deep breath. "I did see your cat."

Scoops put her foreleg around Screech. She glared at Hazard. "My mare-friend and I are on a date. Can you bother some-pony else?"

Screech pushed Scoops away. "I will show you where I saw him."

Hazard's light gold coat shined under the bright sun light. Her light black mane was so light it almost didn't look black. Her cutie mark was a blue, yellow, red and white skull with two exclamation points as cross bones. The small earth pony followed Screech and Scoop silently. She didn't cry. She understood Mrs. Meowsys was in a better place.

"This is not how I wanted to spend our date," scolded Scoops.

"I know how you wanted to spend our date."

"How is it my fault you didn't want to play?"

"I am sorry Hazard. You should not have to listen to us fight."

Scoops huffed. "Now you are not talking to me."

"I am talking to you. I can't talk to Hazard at all?"

"You can do what ever you want. You don't need to think about me at all. Just do what ever you want."

Screech hissed. "That is the lamp post up ahead."

Hazard placed her hoof against the lamp post. Tears gushed out of her eye. She sobbed loudly.

Screeche's heart welled. Emotions swirled in her. Guilt for not being able to save Mrs. Meowsys. Grief over the death of her father. Fear of her own death. Joy she was feeling more than nauseated, anxious or like her emotions were replaced by weighted blankets made of novacane that repeled oxygen. She burst into tears.

"Why are you crying?" Scoops snapped. "You like her don't you?"

Screech ignored Scoops and kept crying. She embraced her emotions and was happy to have emotions to embrace.

Scoops refused to help fix the floor in Luna's. Wild, Bobo, Ham and Melodie were working together and getting the floor done more slowly than Screech alone.

"The floor is done," said Wild. "Want to fix the walls next?"

Screech hugged wild. "Thank you. I am happy to be your friend."

Wild pat Screech on her back. "I am happy to be your friend too two wings."

Screech saw Bobo watching. "Get over her."

Bobo bounded over to Screech and Wild and hugged them both.

Screech woke in the middle of the night, but not because of a nightmare. She slept peacefully for hours.

Scoops sat on Screeche's bed. "You are going to leave me for her aren't you?"

"What? Who?"

"The cat filly. The one from the game store."

"No! What would make you think that?"

"You have one wing. She has one eye."

"You think I have to date a disable pony because I am disabled?"

"Do you?"

"No."

Scoops kissed Screech. Screech bit at the air. Her teeth snapped loudly.

"You don't like when I kiss you."

"That is not your fault. I have had bad experiences with kissing."

"Who else have you kissed?"

"I am not doing this." Screech covered her head with her pillow.

Scoops huffed. "Why are you so course?"

"I am tired."

"You are stubborn in the morning too."

"I am always tired."

"You must be. Why are you so... so? Why do you like me?"

"I don't have much self confidence."

"Is that true? You seem confident to me."

Screech pulled her head out from under her pillow. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"I think I am. I like dating you. No pony else has ever made me feel as special as you do. You date me despite the fact you don't want to touch me. You must like me for more than my body. There is nothing else to like."

Screech searched for something to say. Anything that would convince Scoops she was worth loving. "Can we talk about this in the morning?"

Scoops shook her head. "I don't want to." She hopped off the bed. "Good night."

Screech ate her cold hay in the rafters above the new floor. She stared down at Scoops who was flirting with a colt.

"Are you okay?" asked Wild.

"Yeah," said Screech with a smile. "I am actually relived. I didn't notice how much pressure dating Scoops was putting on me."

"Are you going to hurt her new some-pony special?" asked Melodie. She glared with distain.

"No. Why would I?"

"You would take any excuse to do something violent," said Melodie pointedly.

Screech nodded in agreement. "I would. That is just the way I was born. But I don't like Scoops anymore. I don't have an excuse."

Bobo whimpered, "Does this mean Scoops is not our friend anymore?"

No-pony said a word. None of them were sure if they would remain friends with Scoops.

A team of sixteen ponies were repairing the walls, floors and ceilings in Luna's. Every-pony wanted their room remodeled and decided currying Screeche's favor was the only way to get it done.

Screech wiped sweat from her brow as she admired yet another finished room.

"Hey Screech," said a nervous unicorn. He smiled at the floor. "You are doing a great job fixing up Luna's."

Screech shook her head. "Not at all. Luna is a goddess. She deserves better than to have her name attached to my shabby workmanship."

The unicorn's gaze rose. "You believe in the goddesses?"

Screech cocked her head like she was confused. "Of course I do. I think saying my grand mother was one of them is an insult to the goddesses. And Princess Faire Croire Cadenza did many inspiring things. We should not undermine her by attributing false accomplishments to her name."

"You are a real purist," said the unicorn with a big smile. "Dr. Papyrus will be happy to hear that."

Screech offered the unicorn a hammer. "Care to help us?"

The unicorn nodded.

Bobo smiled at Screech. His replacement teeth shined a pristine white under his row of natural rotting teeth. "You are great at fixing things."

Screech smiled and pointed at her cutie mark. "That is just how I was born."

Screech ran laps around the school's one mile race track. Her hooves beat against the sand, rubber and wax track. Despite the mild light of the setting sun Screech wore her sunglasses. The rodeo took place during the day.

"One hundred two seconds," said Wild. "Is that good?"

Screech shook her head. "No. At my peak I could run a mile in ninety-eight seconds." She sighed. "I am not worried. Ponyville has never been known for its rodeo talents. I broke nine records in Phillidalphia two years ago. Twelve in Canterlot. I should do fine."

"Two wings. Breath. The rodeo is weeks away."

Screech took a deep breath. "Thanks. Ready?"

Wild nodded. "Ready."

Screech took off running.

Melodie watched Screech run. "She does not have me fooled."

"What do you mean?" asked Wild.

"Screech is a monster."

Wild chuckled. "Two wings is a lot of things umbrum."

Scoops walked into the Platinum Park playground. She smiled at her friends. "Hey."

Screech smiled back. "Hey."

Bobo grabbed Scoops and hugged her.

"Good to see you slut," said Ham with a grin.

"How are you doing?" asked Scoops.

"Great actually," said Screech. "I have not flown around Luna's in days. I have not had my OCD under control like this in years. Even when I lived in Canterlot."

"I didn't know you have OCD," said Melodie.

Screech nodded. "We have not know each other very long. There is a lot you don't know about me."

"When Gilded Lily took away her crayons she wrote a letter in a colt's blood," said Ham.

"You should have gone to therapy sooner," observed Wild.

Hazard Caveat sauntered up to Scoops with a saddle bag full of dolls. She waved at the creatures around her. "Nice to meet all of you. Screech already told me your names so there is no need for introductions."

"I have never played dolls," Bobo admitted sheepishly.

Hazard placed an assuring hoof on Bobo's shoulder. "Don't worry. With some help and a little practice you will find it It is surprisingly easy."