Are changelings... Ants????

by ImClinicallyDepressed

Rating: teen
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Changelings, Original Character, Trixie, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Profanity, Random, Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Sex, Death, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 43335

Okay here's the rundown, me dead, me changeling queen cool powers, need make hive, annoy Celestia. You got it? Of course you do I'm talking to myself. ***DISCLAIMER! CRUDE HUMOR IN THE BEGINNING CHAPTERS!***

ARE
CHANGELINGS
ANTS???

A few bombs here and there and boom! You got yourself someone dead.

Well no shit someone died, but let's just—

You know, a nuke is a slightly better way to die than fighting a war.

My name's Rimu, and as the text above this text implies, I died at the metaphorical hands of the fucking sun being launched into my backyard. It wasn't fun hearing the sirens blare like there's no tomorrow (there was technically no tomorrow badum ching), especially since I was in the middle of staring into spa- I mean watching one of my favorite episodes of MLP.

After the nuke exploded, I got transported into the magical lands of... Actually what is Equestria's planet named? Eh, later.

I got transported to the magical land of ponies as a changeling queen. After that I met some... Interesting ponies, got brain damage, got eaten by a hydra, fought said interesting pony, got promoted from a bartender to the head of the town guard for some reason and then died again. All in a week.

Well, atleast the next few months are gonna be interesting. I hope. Who knows, maybe I'll get to answer my question about changelings.

What question? Well, are ch-

STORY ANNOUNCEMENTS HERE!!!:

Hiatus because of school [02/12/25]
New Description! Hello!!!! [02/12/25]

Art by... You know, I actually have no clue.
Edited by: Me and a little bit of ducktape
Current spot in the timeline (with chapters):
0-current: 10~years before S1

This fucking shit sucks
-Me

Why am I writing this
-Me

Thanks for the reviews, me.

Extra tag is:Drama. OoooOOoo!

Sex tag is for innuendos.
Heavy reworking of characters.
Scratch it, this shits a crack fic with a few bits of actual real story. Im so sorry if you guys got disappointed by the direction of the story, I'll try to do better.
Also AIwhisperer you inspired me to put the system in this fic, equis dreams is fucking awesome don't forget that.

Published 2024-04-13 11:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2025-02-15 14:20:10 UTC

0

Author's Note

Holy fucking shit im wasTed DUde (I'm joking)

Anyways, Every chapter once a week (just ignore the chapters getting posted in 2-3 days I got high when making them)

0

the uh... Thing always uh yeah.

-Sun Tzu: Art of Random shit

“Finally dude!” I said while admiring my masterpiece. “I actually made a fully functioning T.V! Wow!” As if on que the T.V suddenly emitted three sparks.

“Ok maybe not fully functioning,”

My name’s Rimu, I’m a 14 year old highschool student. Life’s been pretty lack luster for the most part. Family died which sucks, all my relatives either died or isn’t in the country, and I’m pretty sure I’m banned from every orphanage in a 10 mile radius. That didn’t stop me though! The government gave me a house and a sweet bike! (Probably because my grandpa was a top general in the army but who cares.)

Im in my 2nd year in HS and I’m feeling pretty good! My grades are okay, my social is non-existent and my bank account is lower than all of my relatives combined. But on the bright side I made a working T.V that’s connected to news channels.

I grabbed a chair from the kitchen and sat down Infront of my magnum opus, I sat there contemplating what I should watch for the day. Recently I’ve been skimping out on school work because It’s easy as shit, so I’ve just started to watch this nifty show called MLP:FIM. It’s a nice children’s show and it’s helped me sleep at night just imagining the characters in scenarios and scenarios.

I usually watch it on my phone but I may or may not have broken it when I saw the generation 5 MLP. I was actually heart broken that the show ended in 2019 (technically). I wanted to see more adventures and um... Rainbow dash and AJ. Look they’re some of my favorites okay? My all time favorite though? It’s of course the one, the only,

THE ALL POWERFUL MAGNIFICENT TRIXIE!

Okay I may be lame for that one but fuck you okay? She’s a cool character. Wait what was I talking about again? Oh right the broken phone.

The new generation of MLP never really interested me as much as G4, it looked cool yes, but it kinda didn’t feel right. The moment I broke my phone I cried like a little bitch since it had my files of the characters in MLP, and probably because that was my only phone. I tried to buy a new one but my bank account said “nope” and slapped me in the face.

“I should really get a job huh,” I thought, staring at the black screen of the T.V infront of me. I made the T.V with scraps of old T.V’s and wires I stole from an orphanage, it was a long and hard journey but it’s gonna pay off. I can watch MLP on this bad boy and drown my problems out.

I looked around for the remote for a moment, finding it on the floor with no back cover and bite marks littering it.

“Oh right I used to eat remotes.” I picked it up, plopped some batteries in and turned on my creation.

“I didn’t want to believe it but the evidence is overwhelming!” Twilight said with vigor.

“You made me look ridiculous!” Rarity said bitc- I mean- Rarity cried out.

“You made m-” Fluttershy tried to speak but was cut off with a sudden alert on the T.V.

“SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER, IF YOU ARE SEEING THIS MESSAGE YOU ARE UNDER TREAT OF A NUCLEAR ATTACK! SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER!” The T.V annoyingly blaired.

“I hate pranksters, always ruining my day dreaming.” I tried to turn off the T.V and back on again so the message will hopefully disappear, but I was greeted with a not so fun reality when I heard the sirens blare outside.

“SHIT! IT’S REAL?” I shouted. Most of my neighbors started fleeing and looking for the nearby bunker, I however started to gather my DVD collection of MLP:FIM. I was a simple man, and a realistic man. If by some miracle I would survive the nuclear explosion and the inevitable war, it would be worse than just dying on the spot since even if my country won, what would I gain?

Nothing, that’s what.

I gathered my MLP collection and stared at it. I’ve only started to watch the show about a 3 months ago and I’ve never seen the ending yet, unfortunate. I looked on with pity at the people crying outside. I saw families hugging each other and police calming a crowd down. I cried a little to be honest with you, the realization that I would never finish the show, never see the beautiful ponies, and never even watch the finale. It wasn’t fair, but that’s just life, right?

The T.V at this point was playing the national anthem of my country,

“BAYANG MA-” yeah yeah you know the drill. The anthem reminded me that I actually used to make music for the show, tried to atleast. It was kinda my passion to make music and listen to it, yes it sounded terrible but hey I knew how to play a guitar atleast. I turned off the T.V and stared at my reflection.

I can’t even remember the last time I washed my face. I sighed and sat down lazily on the chair.

“God dammit, I just finished my T.V too,” There was no point in trying to fight death, “I wished I could’ve finished collage at least, it was my... Just forget it.”

I looked up to the ceiling if my home. White wooden boards with no other features, just the way I liked it. Deciding that being conscious when the nuke set off was a bad idea, I laid on the floor and closed my eyes with my DVD collection of MLP strewn across around me in a symbol.

It wasn’t a demonic symbol, if I was gonna die I would be fateful to god atleast. It was a made up alphabet I made, the letter I made was the letter “R” for Rimu. The letter looked like an arrow just without the head and body attached, I know creative.

I closed my eyes and just imagined shit as I died, “God if you’re watching me, don’t look at my search history.”

And everything went to black.

Life is never fair, but you can make it fair with a little kindness, remember that Rimu.

...
...
...

H3Y! W#&K U$!

what...

1U#CY Y@O!

what...?

Ahem!
I am designated as 31415926535! Or you can me 0!

Am I... Dead?

Not quite! You are dead but not in this world! Quite the opposite actually! You’ve just been “born”!

Wake me back up in 10 minutes.

I rolled around in a hard rocky floor trying to sleep, I then heard another buzz at my side,

Oh no you don’t! Well you can but I don’t want to! Come on, get up!

A black screen suddenly lit up in my face, I tried swatting it away but it only made a buzzing sound, disappeared for a second and went straight back.

AUGHHHH

I slowly opened my eyes fully, I was in a dark cave of some sorts, stalactites and stalagmites all around me slowly dripping a dark green substance, said substance is flowing down to the floor besides me.

Do you want to read the terms and conditions of the system™?

Yes or no?

“...Yes...”

Great! Switching to semi-personality mode to conserve energy! Ahem.

Welcome to the system™! This system’s goal is to spice up your reincarnation! This version of the system is version #09073148553142RMU! This version has been given to you because your past life has either been:

Accidentally ruined!
Ruined by another reincarnated (aka a jumper!)
Wasn’t fair!
Or more!

I groggily looked at the dark box that was spewing absolute nonsense at me, trying to discern if what I’m seeing is reality or a figment of my scarily strong imagination .

This version of the system is what you call: MMORPG! This version will not guide you, but it will have cool powers that you see in your books! Please be warned that the system does not have a personality and you will not be able to form a bond with said system, if the system you currently have has a personality, it will cause you to lose your mind as a personality option is too taxing on any mind, even gods! Please contact @#&$-#& if the system does have a personality! I’m just kidding! If it does have a personality you’re brain would be cooked right about now! If it doesn’t, good! Now that’s the introduction to the system, terms of conditions are!

“Oh come on no don’t -”

WE AT #_&@.INC WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE TO ANY DAMAGES TO UNIVERSES OR TIMELINES, WE ALSO NOT BE LIABLE FOR DAMAGES IN THE FOLLOWING:

BRAIN
MIND
SOUL

AS YOU’VE INSTALLED SYSTEM™ OR SYSTEM.OIS YOU HAVE ALREADY AGREED TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS, THE SYSTEM MAY KILL THE USER ON INSTALLATION, IF THIS POSSIBLITY HAPPENS WE ARE NOT LIABLE TO BE SUED! IF THE ORIGINAL UNIVERSE IS CHANGED WE ARE Nblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rimu? Blah blah blah blah blah rimuareyoualive? Blah blah blah blah ohdearcelestiapleasetellmeyouralive blah blah pleasedontleaveme blah blah

After a few hours of constant blabbering 0 finally shut up about terms of conditions and displayed,

Please, and thank you for listening! Please enjoy system.ios and have a nice day!

“Oh thank god it’s finished,” I said with a loud sigh after.

Evaluating current state of user...
...
...
...
Evaluation: User is not fit for personality mode or semi-personality mode. Evaluating if user is compatible with assistant mode.
...
...
...
Evaluation: user is not qualified for assistant mode, but is qualified for game menu mode. Switching to game menu mode for user.

10%...
50%...
90%...
91%...
92%...
100% completion.

Another black screen replaced the previous one, this time I recognize some words and understand them fully, unlike the mumbojumbo that I barely kept up with a few moments ago. This screen was showing,

Name: Rimu
Age: 5 hours (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 0
Skills: None
Love meter: 0%

I squinted to get a better look at the black screen, I jumped as a sudden loud sound rang to the side of me accompanied by another black screen.

Achievement unlocked! Squinting!

I blinked a couple of times after I fully calmed down after the jumpscare. After some thinking I came up with the answer to my predicament,

“Oh I’m dreaming! Well I guess I gotta wake up, I’m gonna be late to school, silly me!” I then punched my face full force, “FUCK! THAT WASN’T A SLAP!” I then rubbed the spot that I punched.

“Wait...” I rubbed the spot again, I noticed my “hand” was curled up like a fist, it was hard but felt buttery smooth for some reason.

I then realized I my vision that was suspiciously good at the dark. I quickly tried to stand up but after a few seconds I ended up plopping right back to the ground with a groan. My “feet” felt hard when I was standing. Then it dawned on me.

“Wait fema- nononononono,” I quickly shoved my “hand” down under and felt a light tingle, “no. No. No. This has to be a j-” my train of thought suddenly stopped as the tingle felt too... Good. I quickly pulled my “hand” and stopped touching the area.

“Shit, I’m a girl now” I said emotionless. A sudden thought came through my mi- wait bad! Stop it Rimu! Don’t play with yourself in a cave! As I tried to derail my teenager thoughts I comprehended my situation.

I’m a girl, in a cave, alone, and ~~horny~~ hurt. Shit did something happen to me? Did someone fucking drug me?! I quickly sat up and did breathing exercises, I looked at my “hands”. They we’re... hooves.

I sat there, looking at my new limbs, I quickly checked my forehead and felt a stick, a horn. Am I... A unicorn? WAIT! I checked my back and low and behold, wings. I sat there, slightly giddy. “Im a alicorn! There’s isnt any other species with a horn AND wings! Im an alicorn! Well except for o-”

“No. Don’t... Do... This... To... Me...” I said slowly and checked my ar- legs again. They. Had.
H O L E S

...

I was a changeling, and by the looks of it, a queen changeling. “WAIT!” I checked my mane, of course I had one but the thing I wanted to check was...

The mane was colored blue with a speck of green on the edges. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when I realized I wasn’t Chrysalis. “So another changeling queen? Were there other’s except for Chrysalis?” I pondered. If there were more other than Chrysalis I wouldn’t know because I didn’t watch S5 beyond. Maybe there more, but maybe Chrysalis killed all of them? Wait... What year am I in?! Please don’t tell me im in the smack dab middle of S3!

I quickly looked around the cave, I felt a light breeze to my left. The exit. I quickly ra- gall- ran to the exit.

The exit was only a couple of meters away from my resting spot. I quickly made my way outside and looked up to the sky, it was night, perfect. I looked straight towards the moon and I saw... The mare on the moon... This was before S1! And by the looks of it, before the sonic rainboom! YES! I WAS SAFE!

I laid down on the green grass below me, I hadn’t noticed but I was actually flying when I looked at the moon. A sense of relief washed over me.

I was in MLP, that was for sure. Right now I was before the rainboom in the timeline, so no changeling purge just yet. I felt AWESOME! Who wouldn’t be? Being reincarnated into the objectively best universe to be in?

I smiled as I looked at the sky. My mind drifted and went into that direction again.

“Fine! Maybe just once... or twice” I laid on the grass and once again put my hoof down under, not panicking this time. “hgn~” I moaned as my hoof touched and slowly massaged my-

Achievement unlocked! Stress relief!

”Hah... Hmmm~!”

Princess Celestia was having a nice cup of tea with her student, Sunset Shimmer. They were both talking about the usual, how their day was going, any special events, promising students in the Canterlot school for gifted unicorns, the usual.

While both of them were talking a sudden wave of energy washed over them. Both Celestia and Sunset jumped the instant they felt it.

It wasn’t magic they felt, it more like a birth of a new alicorn. ‘ That’s strange’ Sunset thought.

While Sunset pondered why she felt the wave, Celestia suddenly stood up and looked around the garden.

“Uh, princess?” Sunset asked, worried.

“You felt that too my student?” Celestia quickly questioned.

“Yes, I felt it too. I was just po-” Sunset was about to continue until Celestia interrupted her.

“A changeling queen was just born,”

“What? A changeling queen?” Sunset replied, “I thought you said the changeling queens went extinct!”

“That’s what I thought, my student.”

“So another one was born after, what. 500 years?!” Sunset was starting to look nervous.

“Yes, and it seems like the energy is being hidden as we speak,” Celestia then trotted to away from their table in the garden, “and it isn’t getting hidden by the queen.”

Celestia tried to think, the last time a queen was born was when Chrysalis was born. Back then Celestia felt a wave of energy too, but it was much, MUCH stronger than this wave. ’Was it just a failed spell?’

Celestia kept and kept pondering, until she hit a metal pole. She then swiftly blacked out.

3 (Changed ending)

Author's Note

Huoooowey school's kicking my ass rn! Sorry! I'll keep trying to hopefully make the chapters a bit longer and a bit less messy, hopefully I can get chapters out every 2-3 days if no school! Otherwise just expect once a week uploading from me.

Also please tell me if my depiction of Ms. Cultist is wrong. I'll try to change her if it is.

3 (Changed ending)

I still think your mentally insane.

-B.B.F.F.F

**NOW EDITED BECAUSE I FORGOT MY STORY HAPPENED BEFORE THE RAINBOOM! STARLIGHT WILL NOW BE 14-16! RETCON OVER!***

??? Pov

"My... Delicious hay bars..." I whispered while trotting through the shabby town. Yes I was still sulking. No I will not stop. I came across a bar of some sorts but I ignored it for now, since I was broke. I have not forgotten my reason to coming here of course, this little walk around town can help me greatly in locating the changeling queen. The changeling queen will most likely be disguised, maybe as a stallion or a mare. This was gonna be tough, I don't know anything about anypony in this town, so I can't really discern if one pony was a changeling or not. I could use magic, however my magic can only do so much (also it hurts the target).

There were so much area's that the ling can hind and escape from my grasp. Only tine will tell when or how I capture the ling because I KNOW I will catch her, with enough time. I could do this because I, am STAR-

*Clank*

"Oh! Sorry!" The mare shouted. I then promptly passed out from getting hit by a pan.

"Just... My... Luck..."

I arrive at the shabby town. I look up at the sign above me, I then slowly realize that I cannot read a single fucking letter from the sign, "Of course I can't read..."

Just my luck! Now I need to learn how to read. 'Aughhhhhhhhh'. This might throw a wrench into my lunchbox.

My plan that I made in a record time of 3 minutes was to get a job as bartender of some sorts, this job was very important because I could gain easy love from the surrounding ponies. Or at least that's what I planned, who knows it might go terribly!

I started to walk into town at a calm pace. As I walked by most ponies only glanced over to me and went back to what they we're doing before, some looked at me puzzled, one just stared at me blankly and shrugged. Seems like my epicly cool disguise works. Still not used to pinkie talk though.

As I walked I came across a bar and decided to go inside. Inside was what you would expect. Lots of tables, and lots of ponies drinking their lives away. I looked over to the counter at the end of the room and saw a stallion having a mental break down.

"I can't do this bucking shit anymore! Every day there's something that happens here! Yesterday there was a fucking sex pit here Celestia dammit! Fuck this SHIT!" The stallion then threw the drink he was holding, shattering it on another stallion, "I BUCKING QUIT!" He then stormed out of the bar and past me.

'Well that was way easier than I would've thought.' I really thought I needed to kidnap that guy and throw him in the forest. Guess not.

I saw what I could assume to be the manager of the bar come out from the back and gave me a glance. He looked at me for a good few seconds, sighed, then threw me a pair of sunglasses.

"Pays' a bit an hour, get an apron from the back and start tending to the drunks." He said as he went to the poor stallion that was hit by the glass that the bartender threw. I looked at him quizzically for a second and a half, "What? I know already that you want work. Just don't buck up like the last guy," He said while wiping the beer out of the bleeding stallion and escorted him to the back.

"Well I guess you're right," I said. 'Wow no check up? No test if I can read? Neat'

Achievement unlocked! A bit too many!

Oh shut it I deserve a bit or two. Anyways I did as I was told and went over to the back. A couple aprons where hanging on a wooden plank so I just grabbed one, put it on and went over to the counter to start my new job as a bartender. What's the worst that can happen?

I rub my head softly as I wake up, still on the street, "I'm so tired of this bullshit," It wasn't even funny at this point. As much as I want to just kill the pony who did this to me, I really don't want another charge plastered on my already long enough list. It was already almost dark out at this point, and I was really thirsty.

I grabbed my canteen from my saddlebag and tried to drink from it. It was of course empty.

*Pop!* *Crumple*

The canteen suddenly stopped existing and I don't know who did it, maybe only the most beautiful mare maybe?

...

I really need a drink. Fortunately I remembered a bar that I passed by not long ago. Only a couple drinks, a couple.

I arrive at the bar, gently opening the door and walking inside. There were multiple stallions and mares chatting about, clearly drunk. I went to the counter at the end of the room ad sat down on a bar stool. There was a black coated stallion operating the counter, he was cleaning out a ping with a table cloth. I couldn't help but stare at him for a moment.

"Oh! Hello, what can I get you today?" The stallion said. I examined him further, he had a fedora atop his head with a horn slightly peeking out, he also had trench coat covering most of his body and finally an apron covering the fron of his body.

"Just a pint of cider please," I said tiredly. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I mean, me? Drinking? Getting drunk? It's a waste of time! But I feel like I need this. So I silenced my egotistical side of me and waited for the pint.

***

A few moments later the stallion hovered a pint of apple cider and I picked it up and drank it down.

"AH! That hit the spot!" I burped loudly as the stallion tended to the other customers, "Hey!" I said. The stallion promptly walked over to me, "Another please!"

***

"Then I blasted him away with my magicz!" The stallion listened passively as he filled another pint with cider.

"Then what did you after?" The stallion asked as he hoofed me the pint. I drank the pint so quickly, "This ciders sow good, hewy stally?"

"That's not my name but yeah?"

"Can you tell me how they made this stuff? It sowwwwww gewd!"

"I think it's just cider,"

"Cider doesn't taste dis gewd!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Are you living under a tree or something?"

"I wished, also I never had cider before so yeah," This stallion? Haven't had cider? The worst lie I've ever heardz!

"Pshh, stop with the excuses, just tell me how you do it?"

"Well, I just pour the cider into the pint, that's all," Liesz! All liez!

"Come on! Just tellz mes!"

"Im serious! I don't know why it tastes so good for you,"

You know... This stallion looks so... Handsome. With his black coat, his blue cerulean eyes, his black horn on top of his head. He's so adorable when flustered too!

"Maybe you can tellz me if I did a little..." I hovered my hoof around my flank, "Something?"

There! I saw him blush! Finally! Now all I have to do is- "No thanks."

Wha? "Whatz do you mean no?"

"Look your drunk okay? Not gonna take you up on that offer."

This. Buckin. Goody tooshu bitch. I just offered him the prettiest mare around and he DECLINES?! He's either oblivious or buckin gay!

"Whas do you mean no? Just look as me!" I gestured at my body.

"Not really much to look at," *GASP!* I may be running from the royal guard but I kept up my appearance! This purple and blue mane doesn't clean easily you know?

"Psh! What, do you not like mare's like me?"

"Yes I do, but that isn't the problem. Hey you look like you've had too much to drink, you alright?" Im as good as you can get! Thank so much for askin.

"Yeah! Just... Gib me another!" Come on one more pint!

"Look, you aren't gonna get more cider okay? You're too drunk," This bucking bull! "where is your house, you're not fit to walk."

"Y do u wans to nos zat?"

"To make sure you don't peel over and die," The quippy type huh? Just the stallion I want!

"Yours cutez and all but I likes marez more, you're cutes and all, no offenze." What do you think of that huh?

"No offense, you look like a drunken hobo."

...

"Puh- lease! I lookz sow mush besser than yous do pall!" I check him over again, I wonder what he could do in...

Wait. Blue cerulean eyes, a horn, black coat, a blue mane with green at the ends of his hair. Now that I look more closely... This buck isn't a stallion! She's...

"Wait... You look familiar,"

"Uh?"

"You're..."

It's her.

This is getting a little too heated. The mare's just looking straight at me with her purple eyes, those hypnotizing purple ey-

Achievement unlocked! Still a stallion at heart!

Snap out of it me! This mare's drunk and clearly not thinking straight! Gotta focus. But those eyes- No! Not happening!

Her purple mane with blue streaks are really tantalizing...

Achievement unlocked! Love at first sight!

Oh come on she isn't that... Pretty...

"Wait you look familiar," Wait huh? I kinda zoned out.

"Uh?"

"Wait... You're..." Uh did I meet her earlier? The only pony I met before going into town was that pink coated mare with a torn cloth around her body and purple eyes. Now that I look at her she has a torn cloth too-

Wait. No. She... Isn't supposed to be here...

Starlight?

She isn't supposed to be here! And last I checked her coat was light purple! Not pink! Wait her pink is light purple, am I blind?

While thinking about how I just fell in love with Starlight fucking glimmer of all ponies, I saw her horn glow brightly. 'SHIT!'

I instinctively ducked, luckily too! Since she blasted the entire wall behind me to smithereens! Also the counter.

"YOU!" Starlight shouted. Why is she pissed at me?! Was it because I didn't want to buck her?!

"I uh- yes?" i said, now on the ground, trying to crawl away.

"TELL ME WHY YOU KEEP APPEARING IN MY DREAMS!" Huh? What was this bitch talking about-

I was suddenly flung into the air with force, destroying the ceiling of the bar and scattering clouds above me. I flapped my bug wings and stopped mid air. I tried to catch my breath until I suddenly heard a popping noise behind me.

*Pop!*

I looked above me, only to see Starlight with her back leg out trying to kick me down. I quickly blocked her kicked and soared back to the ground with a thud.

"BUCK! That hurt-" *cough cough*

Shit. Im coughing up blood.

*Pop!*

Starlight was now grabbing me with her hoof and looked me straight in the eyes, her eyes full of rage.

"TELL. ME." She said gritting her teeth.

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW? THIS BUCKING INTERACTION WE HAD WAS PRE MEDITATED WASN'T IT?"

"What-"

"ME GETTING DRUNK, TRYING TO COURT YOU? IT WAS ALL IN MY DREAMS YOU BUCK!" She smacked me with her hoof with full force. I coughed up more blood, some of it getting on her outstretched leg and body.

'Imgonnadie! ImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadieImgonnadie-'

OVERDRIVE ACTIVATED FORCEFULLY! WARNING! INCREASED HEART RATE! ADRENALINE RUSH INBOUND!

A ball of red magic suddenly appeared on my hoof, on instinct I pushed the red ball and smacked Starlight in the chest full force with it. She flung into the sky, blood gushing out of her mouth.

'This bucking queen was strong as horseapples! She wasn't this strong earlier!' That bitch was holding back her power on me! And what was that ball of magic? I didn't even see her horn glow! It felt so powerful and completely full with magic! If I hadn't casted a shield I would've broken all of my ribs! Or worse, died!

"hahahahah... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" She's laughing!? Is this some kind of joke to her!?

I saw the changeling put her arms together and a smile graced the lings lips, "I don't know why you're doing this Starlight but I don't care. You want a death sentence? ILL GIVE YOU ONE!"

I couldn't even see her fly towards me, but in a quarter of a second she was already snout to snout with me, her grin still wide as ever. I felt a cut on my cheek, and another cut, and another and another and-

I casted so many shields, as many shields as I could. I almost passed out from the action.

I can see it. Slashes. I could see white stars, then a moment later a slash. All of my shields broke the moment I casted them.

This is too dangerous!

I plummeted to the ground at breath taking speeds, as I did I put up shields where I could see the stars getting wider, the moment the stars could get wide enough a slash would come from them, the star disappearing as the slash appeared.

What in Equestria was this spell!? Throughout all my life I've never even heard of a spell that involved slashing! Or atleast not in this caliber!

I teleported to the ground, the changeling following soon after with a thud. It stretched it's leg towards me and I could see a sea of stars appear. I tried to put up shields where the slashed would come from first. My concentration almost faltered when I heard the changeling speaking.

"STARLIGHT! YOU CAN SEE THEM CAN'T YOU!?"

"YOU CAN SEE MY CURSED TECHNIQUE!"

What in tartarus was a cursed technique??? If she's talking about the slashing then this type of magic would be foreign to me! Horseapples!

***

More and more slashes came through, funny enough I didn't feel tired as I put up my shields. What I felt wasn't tiredness, no, it was FEAR. Fear for my life. If one slash came through I would die. One slash was enough to complete chop off one of my legs if it ever came in contact with me. I didn't want to die, not yet!

I could tell the changeling was getting tired. After a few seconds I saw an opening and took it. I teleported behind the changeling and bucked her full force, blood gushing out of her mouth and eyes as I did.

She went rolling behind an alleyway. I quickly galloped over and tried to finish the job. I as I entered the alley I saw... Nothing.

IT WAS A TRAP BUC-

Before I could react, the changeling put her hooves on my legs and pinned me against the wall. I tried to use magic but to no avail as I felt my magic weakening and weakening.

Was this it? Was this the end?

The ling was eyeing me, relishing in my fear. Suddenly we both whipped our heads to our left as we heard screaming,

"CATCH BOTH OF THEM! SEARCH EVERY CORNER!" A royal guard shouted at the top of his lungs.

"WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE! JUST TRY AND LOOK FOR TWO SUSPICIOUS MARES!" Another shouted.

I glanced over to the changeling, she had a face full of shock. I could feel a grin forming on my face,

"Well well well, seems like you and I are- HMPH?!" I tried to quip but I was interrupted by her putting a hoof straight into my mouth

"Shut up for a second!"

I tried to pull her hoof out of my mouth, but instead of relenting she dug her hoof even deeper. 'This mare's disgusting!'

After a few moments of silence, she finally pulled her dirty hoof out my mouth and wiped it on her coat.

"What was that for?!"

"To get your mouth full so you'll shut up! I would much rather... Kiss you but we're underaged!"

She... She just said that. Straight at my face.

"Just... Shut up!"

"That's the plan!" She said, whispering and shouting at the same time.

A moment of silence was shared between us, both us red in the cheeks and looking away from each other. She still tried to wipe my drool out of her hoof while I gagged out dirt that made it's way inside my mouth.

Was... The guards gone? Have they left? If they have I'm gonna buck this ling so hard I-

Wait. The changeling knew my name, I haven't told her that!

"How in Equestria do you know my name?"

"Pinkie sense." She replied.

"What the buck is pinkie sense!?"

"Don't question it,"

...

"I thought you didn't like me," She whipped her head around to face me, confused.

"What? I didn't say that!"

"'Not that much to look at'. That's what you said."

"It was because you had a cloak dumbass!"

"Oh..." I was ever so slightly fuming, not at her but at me. Really? I forgot to get rid of my stupid cloak? I am the smartest alive wow!

...

"My names... Trixie." The changeli- Trixie said.

"That's not a very changeling name,"

"Fine! Trixie, Trixie Lulamoon!"

"Sounds even more like a pony name," I commented with a sly smirk.

"Yeah keep saying that 'Starlight'."

"Shut it."

...

"Wait what the heck is a 'Cursed technique?' " I could hear Trixie audibly gulp.

"Well..."

Background details you literally can just skip. (Changeling addition)

Ahem.

Changeling hives.

Changeling hives, one of the more reclusive species in Equis. Though, reclusive doesn't mean I don't know anything about them.

There are 4 types of changelings that I know for certain of.

The first type is:

Bichos de amor, roughly translating to love bugs.

These changelings are by far the most common types of changelings, as love is quite literally in the air.

They use a highly simplified version of a soul sucking spell, and have a monarchist type of leadership.

Though, you could say that for most changeling types.

Their hive consists of five ranks of changelings. The lowest having the least control, and the highest is the one controlling.

Drones: Though more like mindless robots than living breathing creatures, drones are the foundation of love bugs hives. They dig, build, clean, reproduce, and protect/nurture eggs. They usually only follow the queen's orders, since if they don't they literally cannot move or breath.

Yes, the queen orders the drones to breath. Highly inefficient I know.

Soldiers: The most common rank in love bugs. While you would expect drones to be the most common, you would be mistaken. Love bug hives are proven to be unironically the most aggressive hive in their territory. Soldiers, while still having little free will, have more than drones.

Partly due to the fact that combat doesn't need orders, but ingenuity and critical thinking.

Gatherers: Or whatever they're calling themselves now. These love bugs have considerably more free will than the last two combined.

To put it in perspective, let's say we wave 5000 drone playing chess with exactly one gatherer. The gatherer immediately wins because the drones can't play chess.

Yeah.

They have this amount of free will largely due to the fact that they're the hunters of the bichos de amore. They transform into an already existing or new creature, go up to the same species and/or different sex, then flirt or have a relationship.

Now, you may be asking what I mean when I said different sex.

All changelings are naturally female. Some do proclaim themselves as male, but most stick to being female. Now, this doesn't mean the dwindling male population of Equis is getting hunted, far from it actually.

The gatherers don't pick or choose between what genders they want to mate with. One moment, they're sucking di—... They're kissing a stallion while their form is one if a female, the other they're doing the exact opposite. Change the stallion with mare and mare with stallion. Or don't.

These group of changelings usually are the ones that is the most vocal in the hive, but they still answer to someone. That someone is-

Elites: The elites. What more can be said?

I assume all of you know the nobles at Canterlot? The ultra rich, snout so high up in the air it could stop a pegasus? Yeah, those guys. They're basically them. But with more power and actually competent.

So absolutely terrifying.

They pretty much control everything that's not directly controlled by the Queen. For example they control how everyling lives in their hive, how love is distributed, how many rooms should be built or destroyed. Blah blah blah.

Speaking of queens.

Queen: The ruler of the hive. The all decider. She is the truth, she is the leader, she is queen.

I mean. What else do I got to say? She does everything. At first anyways. She lays eggs before any drones get made, she makes rooms before drones get born, she orders around changelings before elites exists.

After they all get born though, she primarily overlooks the hives and plan out the future. Sometimes she lays eggs, but only if:

A: A new and stronger... batch of male juice is put inside her. She'll basically use it to slowly change her hive into a stronger one.

B: If she wants to expand her hive. Basically, she either promotes a changeling into a princess or makes one. After that, she tasks them (with the company of a few drones and soldiers) to create a new hive. Then after a couple of years, they reunite and the queen basically has a puppet nation.

From the hit game Hearts of Iron 4.

C: She's about to die. She either promotes or pops out a changeling to turn into the new Queen.

Changedlings

Harmony, bleh. These... Things are what happens when changelings get blasted by too much love.

They turn into another species basically. They can share their love with other changelings.

Sounds good right? One problem.

You can't make new ones. Literally. Yes, you can transform others into changedlings, but they either become infertile or everytime they give birth it becomes another species.

The DNA of changelings go haywire when blasted by love. Their shape shifting magic somehow gets added to their reproductive stuff, and either makes them infertile or changes the species of their foal into another one.

It could be a buffalo, a water pony, a dragon... A draconequuis.

... It is not a pretty site.

It also unfortunately makes a disease be able to wipe all of them out, since they can't make nymphs that resist the disease.

.

Miserylings.

Oh harmony. Why the hell did you make these.

This lings are what happens when changelings don't have a queen to latch onto for too long.

They switch and contort into... Hellish beings. And you know it's bad when I'm telling you it's hellish.

The changelings grow extra mouths, extra legs, extra everything. They elongate, their jaws hung open, their stomach decays due to over production of acid.

... This is definitely not a pretty site.

Thankfully, only a couple of these abominations exists. Most of them came from changedlings that were exiled and didn't latch onto a king/queen.

They feed on misery. On sadness. They're mostly harmless, unless you approach one with happiness or love inside you. They'll tear you apart if you do.

All changeling species agree to never let this happen. Unless they want a repeat of what happened a millennia ago.

Evolvelings

These don't even exist technically. They're just speculation.

Hypothetically, if a changeling gets born with a powerful enough sperm and somehow feed their insatiable hunger for literally everything, they get turned into a evolveling.

Or, what I like to call them, the Changelings. The true changelings.

Much like changedlings, they can share their love with each other.

Unlike the changedlings, they can feed on every emotion. Pain, misery, sadness, grief. Love, joy, excitement, glee.

Literally everything.

They're the best changeling species, hooves down. They can use every emotion to strengthen themselves and sustain themselves. They literally can change other changelings into evolvelings.

Basically the next and better step of changedlings.

Though, to get one means basically killing every single creature in a ten mile radius just to feed them.

Or you could kill ten hydras, two dragons, or a few thousand Griffins.

Don't ask how I know.

On a side note, every single species of changelings can eat meat. They need to eat meat, love just makes them able to live longer and makes them not lose their minds.

"Now, do you understand what changelings are my dear grandson?" I asked the small creature infront of me.

"Kinda... But grandad, can I ask a question?"

"What is it my little bundle of chaos?"

"Are changelings ants?"

Author's Note

Ooooo! Kinda bug reveal here!

That was a typo. Still works.

I wonder who's Trixie's grandad?

(Also hey. I'm back. Please tell me if I misspelled words.)

1

Author's Note

Oof, I may done too many uh, lewd scenes here. Im so sorry.

Warning, lots of lewd imagery.

Anyways hopefully you all aren't too dissatisfied. Hopefully. It may feel a little too fast, and if it does im sorry, I'll try to do better.

A little shorter than what I would've hoped but if I made it longer, I would feel dissatisfied with it, even more than I am now. This chapter feels off even by my standards. Anyways don't expect a chapter everyday, since this young lad has school so yeah. See ya! (Hopefully)

1

You know you should probably check if what you're eating is edible.

-Common sense

A shock of pain flowed through my body. A black blur was infront of me, towering over me like I was a filly.

"-light! A- oka-?"

I can barely hear what the blur was saying but I could feel my voice trying to reply the blur. I tried to stop myself but I failed,

"Y- I'm o-ay," I'm not okay! Why did I say that? And why can I barely hear myself?

"Go- c- yo- stan-?" The blur out stretched it's hoof to mine. I forced my body to stop but I again failed, my hoof already grabbing it's hoof. Before I could chastise myself, I felt an unbearable heat coming from behind the blur.

"-MU!"

'The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, on days like these, kids like me, should really do homework. '

I sat at a flat meadow, grass stretching on for miles. A cold chilly breeze flowed and gave me comfort, these rare moments in my life were precious.

"Man it's nice to touch grass once and a while. I wish this dream never e-"

SCOOTTTLLLAAAAAAND FOREVEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

HOLY SHIT

I quickly sat upright and my head somehow collided with a conveniently placed tree branch, completely detaching it from the tree, "FUCK!"

New skill unlocked!

Best hoof skills!

I rubbed my aching head and looked at the screen infront of me, "Oh come on if my first skill is masturbating I'm gonna be pissed." As I swatted the screen away, another screen quickly replaced it.

Name: Rimu
Age: 1.12 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 0
Skills: Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
Love meter: 0%

"Oh you gotta be kidding me! Max?! I only played with my self for- wait how long was I doing it for?" I'm starting to reconsider my mental health right about now. I uh, played with myself for so long I somehow got a skill and got it to max level! HOW LONG DID I DO IT FOR?!

I quickly stashed that train of thought in the 'worry about later' shelf and checked my surroundings.

I was still outside of the cave. I'm starting to seriously think about my mental health. My sleeping area probably smelled like a teenager's wet dream, I'm incredibly surprised no one stumbled across my uh, understanding of myself.

"I should really drink water," I slowly stood up and smelled my surroundings, bad idea. I almost puked and gagged at the smell around me, it smelled exactly what I thought but add a little bit more excitement to the mix, "maybe taking a bath is my top priority right now."

I held my breath as I walked around the outside of the cave, to the right there was a forest, to my left a dangerous and very steep valley. Tough choices I know. I quickly trotted away from the now radioactive entrance of the cave and towards the forest to my right. Hopefully no one notices my science project in front of the cave-

Achievement unlocked! A little surprise- SHUT IT!

'Ok Rimu, calm down. You need to take very large chill pill right now.' I breathed in, and out. 'Ok, I'm calm. First objective for the day, gotta orient myself.'

'I am Rimu, I am a man, I am a perfectly sane person,' Good. I need to really stop playing with myself.

Ok second objective, figure out how this system works and how to summon it on command. 'System!'

...
...
...

Ok, maybe... 'Menu!'

...
...
...

Oh come on, really? Ok think brain think. What did the system say to me yesterday?

change in timelines- no- #0907- no- Wait! Wait... No that isn't it either. Maybe the part where it fries your brain? No that's dumb, maybe the system had a name. Okay think about all the names a system can have, sage? No that's from an anime. Uh, sys? No that sounds like a medical term. Come on think! Ok maybe-

ROARRRRRRRRR

"Hu-wh-eh-y-HUH!?" I twisted my neck behind me to see where the noise cane from.

'It was a hydra. Of course it was a hydra what did you expect another mantico-'

"HOLY JESUS!" I jumped in the nick of time as the hydra swung it's tail, barely missing me by an inch.

"OK NO MORE DAY DREAMING RIMU TIME TO GET YOU ASS OUT OF HERE!" I quickly galloped away from the hydra, as I did I swore I heard a Looney tunes sound as I ran.

The hydra was hot on my trail. The moment I pass a tree, it passes two. The moment I jumped a gap, it fucking flies. 'How in the bumblejesus does that thing fly?! Does it even have wings? Wait, I can fly!' I tried to flap my wings but to my surprise I shot up 20 feet of the ground, and promptly tumbled back down.

"DAG NABIT!" I hit multiple branches on the way down to the ground, all causing minor wounds on my body (somehow).

"WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY!?" I stood back up and looked behind me.

"Huh, didn't remember a giant eyeball behind me,"

...
...
...

"SHIT!" I tried to run away but tripped on a small pebble and fell on my ass.

One of the heads of the hydra was now laughing manically, the one that was Infront of me was salivating a whole damn waterfall, the other one was asleep.

"Look here mr. Hydra, I may look delicious but all your gonna taste is- YOUCH!" I rolled to my left as the hydra tried to bite me, "OKAY PLAN B!"

"Come on come on come on!" I yelled as I tried to use my magic, my horn glowed for a split second but was extinguished by the saliva of the hydra, "Ew..."

I was promptly eaten whole.

Achievement unlocked! First brush of death!

New skill had been unlocked!

O V E R D R I V E !

As the hydra ate the changeling queen whole, one of the heads spoke up in annoyance directed to the middle head, "Hey Midus maybe don't eat our meal whole?"

"Pshh! It's still going in our stomach either way!" Midus replied to Leftus.

"Can y'all just shut up? One of us is actually trying to get a goodnight's sleep," Rightus replied tiredly.

"Oh shut it Rightus! It's your fault you can't sleep!" Leftus angrily said.

"Uh guys?"

"Well maybe if somehydra shut up I could actually sleep!" Rightus replied, now awake.

"Uh I feel weird guys?"

"Well boo- fucking- hoo Rightus! Maybe you should get our mommy while your at it-"

"GUYS!" Midus yelled at the top of their lungs, "I think something's wrong with what we ate."

"Nothing's wrong Midus stop overeacti-" Leftus tried to say until he was cut off with a weird sensation, "Oh something's definitely wrong."

"Midus spit it out!" Rightus said.

"Im trying!" Gagging, Midus tried in vain to puke up what they ate.

All of the heads noticed as their stomach started to glow a weird mixture of blue and red and started to heat up, rapidly.

Rimu's pov.

"This shits disgusting!" I murmured under my breath. I was still somehow alive after the hydra ate me, but I wasn't complaining. It beats studying and memorizing the entire periodic table, bleugh.

"Wait! Now I remember!"

"ZERO!" A sudden menu flashed infront of me,

Name: Rimu
Age: 1.5 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 0
Skills:
Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 0)
Love meter: 0%

"Nice. Okay, everything's nor- wait overdrive? What's that?." Another screen suddenly flashed to the right of the last one.

SKILL: OVERDRIVE!

This skill will multiply your current base stats two fold! Not only does it twofold your stats it will also let you use magic even if you don't know any! It comes with a catch however! The catch being using up all of your love meter in the process! The moment the love meter reaches 0% OVERDRIVE will stop. It can be extended however with calories! Please refer to the skill guide for more info.

LEVEL: 0
MASTERY: Newbie

"Okay... That's kinda overpowered," I quipped, "So how do you use it?"

One idea formed in my mind, an incredibly dumb, and stupid idea.

My face felt hot as I recounted my version of the speech,

...

"Nine ropes. Polarized lights. Sunrise and sunset. Death march. Red and blue."

"Imaginary technique."

SKILL: OVERDRIVE! ACTIVATED

"Hollow Purple"

Achievement unlocked! Pu#@$!

The achievement flashed in and out as the ball of pure magic hovered infront of me and suddenly launching forward with sky splitting speeds.

"Cool..."
'And embarrassing'

I stood there for a moment, the Hydra's stomach being torn apart and blasted into the sun. Blood covered my face as the hydra fell over, dead.

...
...
...

"God dammit I just killed a creature,"

Achievement unlocked! Taste of death!

A little jingle then played accompanying the pop up. Really? A jingle? wait Rimu focus! I just did a hollow purple and killed a hydra, all with a lv: 0 skill! This might be a little broken.

A lump on my throat placed me back in reality. I just killed another sentient being. One that talks and has a personality. Shit.

"... I'll just... Repress this memory..." Like how I always do. I climbed out of the hole that I made and looked out at the world. A good chunk of the forest is more red than a ruby and more slimy than my-

Level up! Congratulations you are now... Level 1! You have now passed the tutorial stage! With this you have unlocked...

The skill guide book!
Attributes!
Memory storage!
Achievement page!
And more!

... That's convenient. Like really convenient.

I stepped off the hydra and made my way to the three heads of said hydra. Yep definitely dead alright. I started to walk away from the scene until I heard a distinct, and very concerning sound. That sound being my stomach grumbling.

"Well shit," I slowly turned my head to the dead hydra, and gulped loudly, "I'm so sorry Mr. Hydra, I really am..."

Both Celestia and her student Sunset accompanied a dispatched search team to look for the magic wave that occured at night. They traced the magic signature to a cave just beyond the valley infront of them.

"Is this really where the signature originated your highness?" Sunset asked with confusion, "I mean, I don't doubt you at all princess but you and I can smell that right?"

Sunset looked for Celestia for answers but was rightfully confused when she saw Celestia drooling like there was a cake of magnificent prepositions in her view. Sunset looked at the cave and back at Celestia. The realization dawned on her. "Celestia, when was your last uh, time of the year?" Celestia only focused at the smell and drooled even more.

"Oh dear Celestia" As she said this Celestia broke out of her trance and hastily wiped the drool out of her face.

"I- uh- yes Sunset? What was your question?" Celestia said with a very obvious fake smile.

"Nothing your highness, just ignore it." Sunset face hoofed when Celestia wasn't looking, "So what will we do now princess?"

"Fly of course! Here, ride on my back." Celestia said while lowering herself so Sunset can ride her.

"What about the search team behind us?"

"They have done they're job. Bedsides you and I can smell that, we cannot risk a stallion from the search team getting... Hypnotized," Celestia said while looking towards the cave, slightly drooling.

"Uh huh..." Sunset said with indifference. Sunset may not have experience with love, since she was still at the young age of 10 and a half. But she atleast knew what Celestia was thinking, since her teacher was drooling in more than one spo-

'Focus Sunset! Don't look there.' She mentally slapped herself for the blunder and hopped on Celestia's back. Celestia then stood up and flew over the valley separating them from the cave.

***

They landed with the grace of a new born pegasus as Celestia tumbled as they landed, seemingly getting distracted by the ever increasing sent. Celestia was more than a thousand years old so you would think she'd be immune to hormones but you would be wrong. Sunset could practically hear her teachers thoughts as she got off her back and onto the slightly wet grass. She held back her puke and turned around to her teacher, she then quickly turned back and ignored what her teacher was doing at that moment. 'I need therapy after this.'

Sunset calmly rummaged through her saddle bag that she brought and pulled out a notebook containing the research that she did before coming here and scribbled down below it,

Changeling queen excitement is very potent, do not take samples because of Celestia. And closed it. She then walked over to the cave of interest, ignoring Celestia's uh, funny noises. She examined the rock that made the cave up closely, 'It looks like it used to house great magical power until a day ago, does it somehow correlate to the magic wave last night? She grabs a different notebook and scribbled something incoherent inside it.

By now Celestia has calmed down to a reasonable state and walked over to Sunset. 'Dammit me! That was embarrassing! Especially infront of your student!

"So my dear student, what have you gathered thus far?" Sunset didn't turn to her and replied,

"Not much yet my highness, but I have written down interesting discoveries that I have discovered," Sunset handed Celestia her notebook containing details about the cave, Celestia then flipped through the notebook with her magic.

A moment of silence was exchange between the both as Celestia flipped through the pages. Celestia broke the silence thankfully, "Interesting... Are you sure about your discoveries here Sunset?"

"Yes, it may sound outlandish but I do believe it is the most possible theory so far," Sunset replied.

"Hm... Should we take samples of the-"

"No" Sunset cut off Celestia before she could finish her sentence.

...

"Sunset my dear I wasn't talking about the... Excitement on the grass, I was talking about rock samples," Celestia explained. She swore she saw Sunset blush for a split second upon the explanation.

"Well- I mean, yes. I do believe it is the best course of action," Sunset quickly stammered.

"Well Sunset I do trust with the gathering of rock samples, I will inform the search party that we are done here." Celestia said while sneakily pulling out a vile out of her own saddle bad and gathering the excitement on the grass. 'This is for research, nothing else.' After that, she hastily flew away from Sunset and towards the search party, all while giggling and drooling on her self.

"... That wasn't even sneaky Celestia, but I won't stop you from your uh... Research," Sunset replied to no one as Celestia flew towards the sky.

2

Being a bartender fucking sucks

-Every single person who has to deal with bad customers

I opened my eyes, I could barely see anything. My body feels odd, like really odd. My hooves feel like noodles taped onto my body, my head feels airy and lucid. Was this another dream?

"Hey uh, you look like you drank a little too much. You alright?" It was the same voice as the dark blur from my last dream, and like the last one I could my voice come out of my throat forcefully.

"yeheh! Ah'm ay okary! Gib me anather won!" I was definitely drunk, why was I drunk? I never drank this much apple cider before.

"I'm not gonna serve you another drink, you are completely drunk um,"

"-light! Tas may mane!"

"Look I'll see you out myself Ms. -light, where do you live?"

"Way dew yew wana noe zat?" The more J listen to myself the more I get embarrassed.

"You are in no shape to go to your home,"

"Ay noe I look magnificent but I like mare's more ohcay? Yew lewk cute don't get mi rong," Wait I don't like mare's more! What was my drunk self saying?!

"Ma'am you look like a drunken hobo, no offense." Ow. I may be running from the royal guard but I still take care of my looks!

"Offence taken! Hay, weight, yew lewk familiar," Wait he does? "Wait. You're..."

"Uh...?"

I felt my horn light up and everything went black with a resounding thump.

CHOMP CHOMP

"Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the hungy one." I said while chomping on the last piece of the hydra. Poor Mr. Hydra, you will definitely be forgotten.

As I cleaned myself up or tried to atleast, I decided to check more of my nifty cool powers. "Zero!"

Name: Rimu
Age: 1.65 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 0
Skills:
Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 0)
Basic magic (Lv: 0)
Love meter: 0%

Now, I know all of you are very curious about my first skill (I am too) but I think the skill it self is uh, self explanatory to say the least. So for now let's just avoid that, anywho what I'm kinda curious about is 'basic magic'

Basic magic

Let's you use magic as long as you learn how to cast it, it also makes you a very fast learner (unless your stubborn).

Will upgrade to Intermediate magic with a revelation.

Level: 0
Mastery: basic

Wow who would've guessed. 'not me'.

"Aughhh I'm full as shit dude," I said tiredly as I plopped on the grass. Eating an entire Hydra is no easy task, especially if the Hydra got blasted in the stomach. Seriously who did that? Oh wait! I did.

"Still need to clean up though," Yeah no kidding Sherlock you look like absolute shit, "Hey! Who's idea was it to blast the Hydra's stomach in the first place?" You, dumbass. The nerve of this guy I swear.

...
...
...

I'm slowly loosing my mind, I need to find a town pronto. I swear one more day out here with this Idiot inside my brain- hey! -Im gonna actually blow. As they say, righty tighty lefty probably cool-y! Nobody says that. Shut up me.

I walked to my left, hoping to god or some deity that there's a river up ahead. I mean, what's the worse that can happen that hasn't already happened?

...

Wow even other me didn't find that funny. 'Dude I really can't talk to you if you're focusing on something you know? You literally just made me up on the spot.

...

Wow I'm really depressed huh yup.

"Okay okay, I've had these dreams for a week straight now. What do they mean?" I paced around in my makeshift house made out of wooden planks that I stole and a tent that I borrowed from a dead pony.

"Think! They all revolve in meeting something. That something is either a really big changeling or an alicorn since in all of my dreams, the pony had both wings and a horn." It didn't make sense! Why would a changeling try and find me?! Well technically I found it-

Wait. I get it now! I need to find the changeling or alicorn! "Yes! I figured it out!" Now the question is what do I need to do when I find the pony?

In all of my dreams the pony either towered over me, or talking to me, or both. It feels like I'm missing something. In one dream I seemed to know the pony, the other I was drunk and didn't know the pony. "AUGHH! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! I JUST WANT TO ERASE CU-"

*Clop clop*

Shit did the guard find me? I just set this tent up!

"Hello? Excuse me but you can't set up camp here," The pony outside politely said.

"I- uh- nobodies home!" fuck.

"Uh, okaay?" Holy shit that worked?

After a few seconds of silence, I heard the door to my tent unzip. "Shit"

"Uh miss I-" The stallion tried to speak but I cut him off with a magical blast straight to his nose, knocking him back a good few meters.

"Time to run!" I quickly packed my tent up with precision and booked it to the other town I saw while crossing the river to here. Hopefully that town is a little more forgiving. Hopefully.

"SOMEONE GET A DOCTOR! HE'S BLEEDING!" A mare shouted behind me, nice distraction lady! I won't erase your cutie mark for now.

"I really need to drink a gallon of cider right about now"

"I wonder if I could do more anime references- WOAH!" I flail my hooves around as I almost fall into the fastest running river I've ever seen. No joke the river is gushing with water, I'm scared for my life just standing near it.

"Survival guides always said to follow a river down stream if you're lost, why not confirm if the guides are true?" To be honest I kinda wanna ride the river downstream, sounds fun. Eh why not.

I put my hoof into the river to test how fast the waters going and low and behold it's going pretty darn fast, "Fortune favors the fortunate!" I quickly jump into the river and hope for good luck. Ps: don't ride in river's there's rocks below the water.

I quickly galloped away with my tent hovering closely behind me, multiple guards are chasing me down for my revolutionary plastic surgery techniques that I'd done on the poor stallion.

"Hey! Come back here!" One of the guards says, only a fool would do that!

I quickly galloped into the forest. The guards stopping just before entering. 'cowards.' I ran and I ran, only stopping besides a river for a quick moment to breathe.

Then I heard it, the creature that's plaguing my dreams for a week.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Ow ouch oof! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! AH FUCK ROCKS!"

I look one with wide eyes as I saw a huge changeling tumbling down the river and away cursing like no tomorrow. I finally saw my target. I can finally stop this horrible dreams and get on with my life! I quickly tried to grab the changeling with my magic but failed as the changeling was too fast riding down the river.

"How fast is that water going?"

Ok noted don't ride rivers next time. "Ow, ouch, oof, shit, UOHG OK THAT ONE HURT," I mean, a bunch of pointy rocks getting dragged across your hard ass would hurt no matter the person. It also didn't help that I could hear a distinct screech coming from my flank.

As I rode the river I saw what looked like a pink pony with a robe covering her face and most of her body. "That's weird I don't remember a pony who looked like that other than Cadenza." Look Cadenza rolls off the tongue more okay?

Well there was one other pony that I didn't get to see in the animated flesh, but that couldn't be right? Didn't she have a cult or something? No way she would be in a forest running away from bootleg royal guards.

"Eh brain put that one in the 'not my problem' shelf," You're the boss.

After a grueling few minutes (I gotta tell ya, the ass scratch was not fun.) I came across a shabby looking town at the right of the river, "Hey they listened to me nice!"

I quickly grabbed onto a big ass rock and tried to stop my self from going down the river. The rock almost came right off but luckily I got out of the river in time. Kuya kim would be proud *sniff*.

Dude most readers won't even get that reference. What the fuck do you mean reader's I'm fighting for my dignity here! Augh, nevermind.

"*COUGH COUGH* Oaghhhh I think the river water had shit in it *COUGH COUGH*" Disgusting. Anyways, I haven't completely forgotten what species am I so yeah, how do I uh. Change forms again?

Well this is a problem. "Okay time to just wear a fedora and hope for the best!" I pull out a fedora out of my mane and a trench coat to go with it.

...

"Did... Did I just do a pinkie?" Eh if it works it works amIright?

Achievement unlocked! Eldritch monstrosity!

Im gonna ignore that.

New skill! THE MOST AWESOMENESS SUPER DUPER COOL NEW AND IMPROVED PINKIE STASH!!!!!1!1!1 (Or if your lame just ASDP stash.)

Skill: THE MOST AWESOMENESS SUPER DUPER COOL NEW AND IMPROVED PINKIE STASH!!!!!1!1!1 (Or if your lame just ASDP stash.)

Oh wow! Is this what the fancy call a 'game system?' WOW! SO EPICLY COOL! Oh right I'm supposed to explain my nifty skill right? Well my patented pinkie stash works like any other inter-dimentional would! It works because it's pinkie! Anyways you can store anything you like inside my nifty stash! Cupcakes, cakes, balloons, all of Equestria, Twilight's romance novels and Dashie's porn stash! Oops! Im getting off track, sorry! Anyways you can store everything you want without question! The only rule is either be me or be as super duper awesome and funnies as me! And don't question it! That's the most important part!

Lv: Who cares! Just party!
Mastery: FUN FUN FUN!!!!!1!1!1

And that. Especially that.

I galloped as fast as I can after the changeling. Unfortunately the river was too fast and I couldn't catch up before the changeling went out of peripheral vision. "CELESTIA DAMN IT!"

Well that... Sucks. Let's just hope the changeling stops at the town nearby. Now that the changeling doesn't look like a black blur, I could see that the changeling had a mane, that only means one thing.

It's a changeling queen. Why was a queen here of all places? And why doesn't it have changeling guards? So many questions, all gonna answered if I catch that ling.

***

I arrive at the town named, 'Gravel mane's' Who comes up with these names anyhow?

I discreetly set up my tent in a dark alley, first I need to check if anything was lost during the chase.

Notebook: check. Water jug: check. Hay bars: ch- oh come on! My hay bars... They're gone... DAMN YOU CELESTIAAAAAAAAAA!

ACHOO!!!

"That's why you don't put your muzzle into wet grass Celestia," Sunset calmly explained to a bed ridden Celestia. How did this happen? Well after Celestia's covert mission to get a sample of changeling queen excitement, she decided to sniff the wet grass more closely, for research purposes, of course.

"I now my student, you have been lecturing me for the past 4 hours now," Celestia got a little too excited and accidentally sniffed wet grass into her lungs. And that's pretty much the story on how this is happening.

"Still, I need to test you my highness so this never happens again!" Sunset exclaimed while pulling out a test sheet out of her saddle bag.

"Sunset-"

"No! You must learn teacher!" Celestia only sighed and let her student test her. Even though she doesn't like this whole ordeal, her student does, and that's all she cares about.

"Okay Celestia, question 1. What is the date of a normal ponies heat?"

"The date is April 1-10," Celestia may be an idiot but she atleast knows this.

"Good! Now question 2. When is the date of an alicorn's heat?"

"There is no date Sunset, I have already told you." Celestia wasn't lying per say, more like hiding information.

"That's a lie and you know it teacher!"

"Fine, you win-" Celestia almost giggled like a madmare at the face of delight her student was showing but held it in for now, "- only to get you off of this topic. The date of an alicorn's heat is not entirely consistent. Multiple factors determine the month and how long it lasts or even the intensity. Normally, in a perfect world, an alicorn's heat is in December all the way to February. But the older the alicorn, the less likely they will to be in heat, but the harder the heat hits."

Sunset was furiously scribbling down this new information, Celestia could see pencil shavings getting thrown like ragdolls all around the room. Celestia tried to continue her explanation until a sudden... feeling dawned on her as she remembered the vile of excitement she had grabbed.

"Sunset."

"..."

"Sunset my dear?"

"... Yes your highness?"

"Could you... Leave the room for the day?"

"Uh, why your high-" Sunset then looked at the now sweating Celestia. Both of Celestia's hooves where no where in sight and her blanket was rather...

"... Are you serious Celestia?"

"Look! It's my body's needs Sunset!"

"..."

"Sunset?"

"I wish I had a camera right now to embarrass you."

"What?"

"Nothing Celestia," Sunset calmly stood up and opened the door to Celestia's chambers, "please if you can. Don't be so loud? My bedroom is just across here you know?"

"I will try... My... Student..." Celestia's voice went quieter and quieter, almost as if she- really? Im not even out of the room yet!

"Celestia I'm not out of the room yet,"

"Please... Go... Quickly..."

Sunset only sighed and went out of the door. Celestia was now giggling and drooling on her self yet again.

"I've been waiting for this for the past 4 hours!" She quickly pulled out the vile and poured it into a small handkerchief. She then- hey wait isn't this supposed to be my story? Why is this just Celestia clop now? I want to get clop too! Wait, I do get clop? Why didn't you say so! In a few chapters? Aw man... Ahem. Anyways.

Celestia slowly hovered the handkerchief above her snout and said some... Questionable things that are not suitable to write. I'll clue you in the best of my abilities.

"Give it to m-! - --ed -t! -lea--! --ck! Hm~! Oh ye-" Yeah no I'm not gonna write that. Sorry mate.

4

Author's Note

Sorry for the wait. School sucks lol.

Anyways a little bit of a serious chapter this time.

Also a little bit o context: (You can skip this)

Trixie is gone, she doesn't exist in this AU. She's been replaced by our MC.

Starlight is about 4-6 years older than the mane 6 in this AU.

Starlight doesn't have her 'make-ponies-normal' staff thingy, she instead has magic to do that. Everytime she does the magic she practically collapses.

Twilight is not Celestia's student yet, Sunset isn't jealous or anything so she doesn't leave.

This AU happens about 6 months - 1 year before the rainboom.

Cursed techniques are very hard to learn, Rimu just got lucky with the system.

Starlight isn't completely evil yet, she's still redeemable.

Rimu (now called Trixie) has Cursed king variation of cursed energy. This means he has the powers of the cursed king aka sukuna. This doesn't mean he's gonna be evil, he's unstable at best.

Starlight doesn't hate Trixie, she just thinks her 3rd person dialog is annoying as shit.

In this AU Starlight went evil after Sunburst left for CSFGU (school for gifted unis), she developed the pony to normal magic to use on him but missed and is now on the run.

Trixie in this AU has the exact same voice as Trixie in main canon.

Trixie's parents dont exist. Well more accurately they got scrubbed.

With the weak magical wave occuring, this caused Twilight to slightly go into her Celestia personal student self, so in turn she's a lot more lonely than in the main timeline.

Rainbow dash is an orphan (for now, might change it)

Pinkie cannot communicate with Trixie, it's more like a future Pinkie doing the talking, Pinkie knows she's talking to someone but she can't control it.

Applejack's parents are still alive for now.

Rarity is getting ready to move to Ponyville because of an itch caused by the Trixie wave (the weak magical wave)

Applejack is still in Manehattan, but she's slowly thinking to move back in with her parents.

Pinkie is still in the rock farm, slightly less like Pinkiamania and more like our Pinkie.

Fluttershy is in flight school with dash.

Dash admires the wonderbolts as a parent figure of somesorts slightly more than just admiring the wonderbolts

Dash has an itch to go fast.

Twilight is hanging around libraries more.

Trixie and Starlight are in the outskirts of Equestria. About where the AJ episode where they chase her because she didn't come back from Canterlot occured.

Cadence might or might not be a reincarnated human.

Same as Shining.

Nightmare moon felt the Trixie wave.

Celestia's last heat was 100 years ago.

Sunset doesn't know about the mirror.

Starlight, Twilight, and Sunset are about as strong as each other. Starlight being slightly stronger than the both.

Trixie is weak as shit as of now, he may have fought against Starlight and technically won, but he was running on fumes and adrenaline.

Starlight can either cast 314 shields at the same time but weak as shit, or 1 shield that's as strong as a steel wall basically.

Twilight can do 5 weak shields, 1 shield as strong as a wood wall.

Sunset can do 400 weak shields, 1 shield as strong as a double layered steel wall.

Trixie can do one shield, take it or leave it.

Trixie can't read for now.

Trixie can't change forms for now.

Trixie can't casts spells normally, if she tries her horn explodes. She needs the help of the system for now.

Trixie doesn't have a cutie mark if she transformed.

OVERDRIVE works like an adrenaline rush x100. It also conflicts with adrenaline rushes and gives Trixie a mild heart attack.

Trixie can lay eggs, she just isn't powerful enough.

Trixie isn't really the smartest mare in the shed. She struggles with languages but excels at math, science, and magic if she tries.

The rune Trixie made in chapter 0 was an alphabet. I can draw the alphabet next chapter if you guys want.

Earth is completely destroyed when Trixie died.

Trixie may not know plot elements after s4 but he somehow remembers certain important plot points.

The moon is made out of cheese.

Trixie can die, hell she died a few times already. She just doesn't want to, so the system doesn't let her.

Chrysalis is plotting something.

Trixie didn't stumble when she woke up at the first time because she forgot to.

Shining and Cadence reincarnated when they were both born.

There's nothing going on in system.inc

Starlight has dreams about the future. When she dreams it, the future slightly changes.

4

Man, I think you got the wrong guy for the job.

-Me, who barely started to take this fic seriously.

It was a blissful moon for Sunset. She sat at her balcony and stared into the stars that we're illuminating the sky, the moon shining bright as ever.

This was a rare bliss for her, one she greatly appreciated. She grabbed the coffee next to her and took a small sip out of the cup. She had heard that a commotion was happening in the town of gravel mane, but she told herself that she simply did not care. Besides, from what she heard either the whole town is on some potent drugs, or a new type of casting was discovered in a fight. She didn't know what made more sense, but she was slightly leaning to the drugs.

I mean, a new casting method? One that didn't involve the use of horns? Insane!

She had heard that last night, a battlefield seemingly appeared out of thin air. Residents depiction of the fight was truly bizarre.

From what she had heard, there were two main perpetrators. One black coated mare with a blue and green mane, and a light purple mare with two black bars for a cutie mark. They apparently, "Flew across the sky,".

The fight started with the purple mare blasting the other point blank, then the purple mare reportedly flung the blue mane'd mare to the sky, destroying the building's ceiling in the process. The purple mare teleported above the other and bucked her, making the other soar to the ground, making a dust cloud as she hit the ground. To make it more easier for her, Sunset decided to name the black coated mare "Moon" and the purple one as "Aurora".

Residents reportedly heard a distinct 'Screech' and a 'blast', before Aurora was flung through the dust cloud, gushing blood out of her mouth was seen as she soared through the clouds, splitting them in the process. A round of laughter was heard from Moon as she shouted, "Cut". She then screamed profanities as Aurora and flew forwards with her wings, turns out she was a pegasus. The following fight wasn't entirely clear. Some residents said that they saw 'Air slashes aimed towards Aurora.' Others reported 'Stars with a black outline.'

One thing was for certain however, Aurora was lossing. She reportedly put up a massive amount of shields, somewhere along the lines of 100-1000 shields. Very impressive considering her apparent age. Almost too impressive. All the shields were for not as they were cut down in a second. The amount may be many but the strength of these shields were hindered because of her blunder. She apparently noticed that and put up shields, this time stronger and more thought out. I have to give her props for quick decision making.

Moon shouted something unrecognizable at first, but the rest of her shouting was. She said something about, "(Aurora)! YOU CAN SEE MY CURSED TECHNIQUE!"

Now that's odd, what in the hay was a 'Cursed technique'? More evidence to support my drugs hypothesis. Aurora teleported to the ground, Moon soon following suit. Mind you, this was about the time Moon shouted profanities at Aurora. Both mares where panting and stood still, multiple shields breaking and getting casted as they stood still. Upon closer inspection of both mares, courtesy of a brave stallion, Moon seemingly out stretched one of her for legs out while standing on her hind legs, Aurora mean while was dodging and weaving from nothing, or something invisible.

After a few moments Moon seemingly lost her balance, Aurora seeing the chance promptly took it and teleported behind Moon and bucked her full force, making her tumble to a nearby dark alley. At this time the nearby guards from surrounding towns were called along with some royal guards from Canterlot. Residents don't know what happened next, as all of them were instructed to move out the premises and find shelter.

Unfortunately, both Moon and Aurora were not found. One mare did say that she heard arguing from the alley where both was but that statement was quickly trashed.

Sunset took another sip of her coffee, "Looks like it's going to be a long day huh," The sun was now in the sky, illuminating the entirety of Equis for another day.

"So can I get down now?" I asked Starlight while dangling on the rope in her tent's ceiling.

"No, I still don't trust you." Starlight said while letting out an annoyed groan. Starlight forced me into her tent (non consensually) and tied me up and just let me dangle off the ground while slowly spinning in circles.

"The great and magnificent Trixie doesn't approve this method of interrogation, it kinda makes me sick." Starlight was now looking at me with a mixture of worry and confusion. After a few moments of staring into each other's eyes she sighed and stopped my spinning with her magic.

"So... Does that mean Trixie is free now?"

"No, and stop talking in 3rd pony."

"It helps build Trixie's character," Starlight looked like she was about to smack me through the atmosphere and onto the moon with Luna by the looks of it.

"So, let me get this straight." I nodded and let her continue, "So this 'Cursed technique' is something that you came up with on the spot?"

"Yes,"

"And this type of casting can make anypony be able to cast magic?"

"Yep,"

"And their magic is different pony to pony?"

"Well most of it,"

...

"What do you mean 'most of it?'" Shit I just opened hell's gate on myself again huh.

"Well Trix-" Starlight stared right into my soul and I felt my soul shudder, "-I mean that the magic pool and unique abilities are different. There are some that can be learned,"

Starlight stopped her glares of sauron and pulled out a notebook out of thin air, "So you mean I can learn this... 'Cursed technique'?"

"Just call it CT, my ears hurt everytime you try to pronounce it, and yes you can learn it."

"Tell me how."

"Not happening Glims," Starlight almost looked offended by the nickname but decided to just glare at me again.

"Why not?"

"Not giving a mare that has a cult more power than she already has."

"Cult? What's that?"

She... Didn't know what a 'cult' was? Wait did she even go to school?

"Indoctrinating ponies, Star, that's what a cult is."

"I haven't even done that yet."

"You can't leverage your little cult against me ei- wait what?"

"I haven't even indoctrinated ponies yet,"

...

I can still fix her guys holy shit. Maybe, just maybe, I can actually fix her damn attitude and not make her a complete douche.

"Well if you're so insistent, you'll be my first member. Think of it as a blessing from your superior to you," Nevermind she's already a scumbag. I just wanna smack that face into neverland so badly.

"Trixie doesn't care about your blessing," I said while putting my tongue out and blowing a raspberry at her.

"Ew! Stop that!"

"No!" I didn't stop blowing a raspberry at her to piss her off.

"You know I can just blast you into dust right?"

"Yeah but will you do i-" I felt a strange wave of energy as I passed out infront of Starlight.

Achievement unlocked! The great annoyance!

Skill unlocked! The how 2 guide to piss of mare's and stallions alike!

Skill unlocked! The how 2 guide to piss of mare's and stallions alike!

I, The great and magnificent Trixie shall commend you! You hast found my great and ancient technique of pissing people off! I mean ponies off!

This skill allows you to annoy people to the utmost degree! Any and all attention will be directed towards you as you perform this magnificent skill! You will be hated however! Unless you know magic that is, well, know mastered magic.

Level: Magnificent!
Mastery: Not as great as me!

"Oh buck off you horse,"

"Unfortunate that I had to kill Trixie, that CT would've made me even more powerful, but I can just replicate it with due ti-"

"Bleugh! Trixie doesn't like pure magic going into her lungs..."

"Wha- how..."

*annoy activated*

"You simply just suck stallion balls my dear Starlight." I said with a smug grin. I could smell my burnt mane and chitin, and it smelled not so great.

*annoy deactivated*

"Why you..." Starlight said while charging up another magic blast.

"Not happening again!" I activated OVERDRIVE for a split second and used 'cut' on my ropes, freeing me just in time as Starlight released her blast, completely destroying the roof of her tent.

"Oh buck me!" Starlight said.

"Trixie would rather not." Now that Trix- I was thinking about it, my voice sounded a whole lot like Trixie's. Strange.

Starlight blushed a crimson hue on her face and said, "Oh you know what I mean!"

"Yeah yeah, just using your tricks on yourself."

"My tent too! I casted a space spell all week to make this tent bigger on the inside and you just tore a hole through it like it was nothing!"

"Well I didn't, you did." I quipped.

***

We sat there for a few moments in silence. Looks like Star is out of magic. She's sweating up a storm by the looks of it.

I grabbed a towel out of my mane and went closer to her.

"Hey just what do you-"

"Oh just shut up Star you're filthy,"

She only sat there stunned by my comment. I was now right besides her and was rubbing the towel all over her body to clean her. I wasn't joking either about how she was filthy, she smelled like an average comicon convention in texas.

She waited patiently for me to finish drying her off. After I did she only yawned and started to doze off, and promptly flopped on the floor, knocked out.

"Huh... She really was tired." Well it wasn't surprising because after the fight she kept interrogating me in her tent and didn't even catch a wink.

"Well... The least I can do is fix her tent up." And so that's what I did. Changelings really didn't need sleep that much, while yes we did feel sleepy, love usually just makes our brain stay awake longer, and I gathered a fuck ton of love at the bar.

While I was fixing her 'roof', I decided to look at my stats again. 'Zero!' Thankfully I didn't need to shout it now.

Name: Rimu
Age: 2.1 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 1
Skills:
Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 1)
Basic magic (Lv: 1)
Pinkie stash!
Annoyance
Cursed energy: king variation (level 0)
Love meter: 25%

Cursed energy:

Some say this energy only gets uncovered once a eon. This energy is very strong, even stronger than most magic. You have a small amount stored, but with enough practice you shall have an ocean.

Level: 0
Variation: Cursed king

That's... Interesting. Didn't know there was another version of magic. Well I should've guessed because dark magic exists.

I levitated a few pieces of cloth from my mane and started to stick it to the roof of the tent. After a few minutes it was fixed. I inspected my creation and laid next to the sleeping body of Starlight, beginning to slumber as well.

"Hey, Twily? What's going on?

"Trixie! There's a changeling queen on the loose! We need to hide now!"

"What's so bad about changelings?"

"They can steal our identity Trix! And I suspect you're the prime target!"

"Why me and not you?"

"Trixie! You're the most illusive out of all of us foals! You have no parents, no family members alive and you appeared randomly! If I didn't know any better I would've thought you were the changeling-"

"Uh, Twily?"

"Trixie... Why aren't you talking in 3rd pony?"

"You do know Trixie doesn't talk in 3rd pony all of the time. It gets annoying at times- uh Twily?"

"You... You aren't my BFFFL..."

"Twily?-"

*splat*

"Trixie? Horseapples the buck happened to you?! You're bleeding everywhere!"

"Can't... Breathe..."

"Hold on! Stay awake for a few more seconds Trixie! We're gonna teleport to Ms. Healthpack, ready?"

"Lungs... Magic... Collapsed... Scared..."

***

"HEALTH PACK!"

"Yes master?- WHAT HAPPENED TO LULA?!"

"I don't know! She just teleported Infront of me bleeding! She isn't responding or turning back too!"

"Get her to the table, I'll gather up the rest of the doctor members, just try to stabilize him for now, I won't be long."

"But!-"

...

"Please Trixie, don't leave me..."

"please..."

"AHH!" Starlight screamed out, jolting me awake.

"Starlight it's the middle of Luna's fucking night can you up," I tried to quip again but Starlight didn't listen. Tears were streaming down her face and she was panting heavily.

"Hey Star you alright?"

"..."

"Star?" I tried to reach out to her but I was interrupted by a sudden hug from Starlight.

"Hey woah Star you good or?"

"Just shut up for a second Trixie."

"..." I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned for Star. But I have a feeling she doesn't like help for her problems. So instead, I just sat there, embracing the hug for a couple of minutes while listening to Starlight's mumblings. I think someone needs a party.

***

Starlight went back to sleep after a few minutes, I tried to sleep too but I just left her alone, she needs it.

I stepped out of her tent and looked at the night sky. In earth this shit wouldn't be possible, but in Equestria... I guess you can do everything.

The night sky was beautiful. I started wondering for a moment why it was night, then I realized that me and Star probably slept through the evening because she was dang tired. I rubbed my eyes to clean the remaining dirt that was stuck in them and yawned. 'I can't wait for the rainboom.'

I just sat there, in the night sky. It was peaceful, no gunshots, no police sirens, and definitely no air pollution that's what I know. It was nice. It was nice to get a nice and slow moment after my first day in Equestria. First it was the incident, next the Hydra, and lastly it was Starlight.

My mind drifted into different thoughts. One of these thoughts were simple enough,

"What now..."

I haven't really thought about it. What the fuck was I going to do? I appeared years before the first episode happens, so one wrong step and everything goes kaboom on my ass.

'Maybe you should rule the world'
'Maybe you could help Twilight be stronger!'
'Or have some fun!'
'Or be the best wonderbolt for Dashie!'
'Or ah could be the sponsor for Apple Acre's,'
'Or you could be the best tailor and be the mentor for dear Rarity'
'Or you could help animals... Just a thought.'
'Or attend CSGU to complete the promise you made to mom...'
'Or you could be the strongest?'

What will you choose?

...

I could use a little excitement. Maybe a party should do it! No I need to go fast! Maybe I should study? Dear you and I know we can't read. Maybe we could um... Pay our respects to uh... Mr. Hydra? Mr. Hydra got what they deserve, ah really don't want to see em' again. Augh, just ask Starlight to teach us magic. I don't need help on magic?!

Just... Shut... Up...

We clearly do. No we don't! We could just study for it? Darling we can't read. Oh...

Shut... Up...

Ah really am itchin to get mah bucking done. Oh silly! We don't have an apple orchard! Darn.

Shut... UP!

...
...
...

Achievement unlocked! Elements.

... What was... That? My... Head really hurts... Am I finally... Going nuts?

'Zero'

Name: Rimu
Age: 2.5 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 1
Skills:
Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 1)
Basic magic (Lv: 1)
Pinkie stash!
Annoyance
Cursed energy: king variation (level 0)
Elements
Love meter: 25%

Skill: Elements.

You may not be one of us originally Rimu. But dear please do remember you now one of us, ah know, ah know, you just got thrusted with his ability. But we seriously need your help! You're the only one that can change the futere Rimu! If you could... Not tell anyone about this it would really help... We're not forcing you to uh... Take up responsibility... But you really need to focus.

We aren't the Elements per say. We're a mangled representation of it, made by you're brain. So please Rimu, you need to change the future. Hey stop saying that, he doesn't have to change the future, he just needs to not fuck it up. Hey quit talking Cursed! Seems like I'm the only smart person here anywho.

Rimu! You need to follow your heart! Yeah! It sounds counterproductive but... It's the right kind of counterproductive. We're here if you need anything. And don't confuse us with the actual elements and their friends. We're just a figment of your imagination trying to make you understand. We're-no- I'm special. And darling please don't say otherwise, you're not useless you're just as important as Celestia, hell even more important than sunbutt. Hey! Well, we gotta go. Remember me, don't bottle up your emotions like last time, alright?

Level: You're good!
Mastery: We're here for you.

...

I am going insane.

So do I have the entirety of the elements just telling me what to do now?

Rimu we're just figments of your imagination, we just put our perspective so you could understand.

This is just confusing. Why do I have special powers like this...

Pshh. Ah'm more deserving as anypony to get this power.

...

Did I talk like that or did my imagination talk like that? Augh... I really need to cool off right now.

Oh! Party time me? I think it's party time me!

I should've gone to a therapist last life.

Oh dear, hey me? Did we break me?
Heh. I knew Twilight-me had the worst idea known to man.
Hey! I have a good plan! You just ruined it with your confusing explanation!
Idiot, you made the explanation. All of us did.
Hah! I'm starting to like Cursed-me a lot better!

...

God dammit I need a lobotomy right now.

5

Author's Note

Hello everybody my names Markiplier and welcome back to Five nights at Freddy's.

Anyways, this one's the longest so far! Hope yall enjoy. Also chapters may or may not be getting made slower, school's impacting my writing schedule so later chapter's might be made a little slower than usual. Anyways hope yall enjoy.

Little bit of context too:

Starlight's parents are alive.

The elements in this story is technically the main 6 but also not the main 6, it's confusing but all you need to know is that mind mare 6 is slightly different than IRL main 6.

Buffalo can talk, and they really like robbing towns.

Changelings are omnivores in this AU. Might make a chapter to explain changelings in this AU in the future.

In this AU any changeling can gather love, some are just really good at it.

Twilight is getting P.E training from Shining.

That's it for now! Hope yall enjoy!

5

Do you know what the definition of insanity is?

-Insanity

"Up and atom Star," I nudged Starlight a bit.

"Five more minutes..."

"Star you're gonna miss the totally cool and not Illegal hay pancakes I made,"

"You can't even cook mom..."

"Well if you don't wake up right now darling I'll cook you instead."

With that Starlight shot up and almost hit her head on the roof of her tent, then fell back down with a thud.

"Hey! That isnt funny... Mom...?"

"BWAHAHAHAHA HOLY FUCKIN SHIT THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE! HAAHAHAHHAH-" I was suddenly smacked by Starlight with her hoof, "Ow! That hurt,"

"Yeah and that's what you get for trying to impersonate my mom," Starlight crossed her forelegs and shook her head, "wait you made hay pancakes?"

"Yeah, I had some help." This idiot can't even cook pancakes right Starlight, like how- shut up.

"...help?"

"A little birdie taught me how,"

"... Hey did I buck you too hard last night?"

"Psh, you couldn't even kick me right, didn't hurt at all." 'My head still hurts, I need to get the voices out of my head ASAP,'

'Zero can you deactivate the elements skill or something?'

The elements skill has not been activated.

'... Noted'

'Awwww, you don't like out company?'

'I do but you guys can't just put your own words into my sentences okay?'

'You're no fun,'

And suddenly the voices disappeared. Well, all except for one or two.

*Munch*'Oh wait they left?'

'Yeah... The rest left because Rimu doesn't want them for a bit.

'Of course the only one's left are the eldritch monstrosity and the king or curses, fantastic.'

'You flatter me,'

"Uh? Trixie? You there?"

"I- uh- huh?" I haven't noticed but I was now at a table with the hay pancakes I made infront of me on a plate. When did I get here?

"You kinda just set the table and stared into nothing... Not complaining though," With closer inspection I realized that Starlight ate about half the pancakes I made.

"Hey! Save Trixie some!"

"Well winner takes all,"

"Trixie won that fight last last night!"

"Yeah tell that to your crumpled chitin,"

"Yeah and to your ruffled mane too Star,"

"Oh shut it."

We sat there in silence, eating the hay pancakes. It wasn't particularly awkward, since we both knew we were starving. After we ate I grabbed the dishes and started to wash them at the sink nearby. Wait this tent is huge what, there's a table, a sink and a kitchen! How much magic did Starlight put into this tent?!

"Hey Star?"

"Call me Master, cult member."

"Yeah Master of what? Courting?" Starlight seemingly went red at that retort.

"Augh! Just call me Master! You're the first official member of my cult now so stop calling me Starlight!"

"Yeah yeah master," I think Starlight grew more red.

...

"Hey Master?"

"I-uh-huh-uh yes?"

"How much magic did you put into this tent?"

"Well let's just say a week was used up just trying to make this tent."

"Trixie thinks it's not impressive at all," Starlight whipped her head around to face me and glared into my soul. Seems like I struck a nerve with that one.

"Well let's see how you do it then?"

"Do what?"

"Make this tent? You know. Because you didn't think it was impressive?"

"Well fortunately for you, Trixie doesn't know magic."

"Wait what? You used magic though?"

"Trixie only used a miniscule amount of magic,"

"Well can't you just learn more? You look like a fast learner,"

"Well Trixie can't read." A moment of silence was shared between us as Starlight processed my statement, In the mean time I finished the last of the dishes snd put them on the drying rack off to the side of the counter.

"Wait you can't read?"

"Uh huh."

...

"I just lost to somepony who couldn't read..."

"What was that master?"

"Nothing."

...

"So... Trixie. Since you're the first cult member I have, what do you think is the best course of action to get more members?"

"Why are you asking Trixie that Master?"

"Well, I need ideas from my cult members, I can't just do everything on my own can I now?"

"Trixie thinks you're just too lazy."

"Oh shut it changeling."

...

"Well Trixie thinks we need to impress the populous." I replied, now facing her.

"And how do we do that?" Starlight said with a raised brow.

"Simple, Trixie thinks a simple display of powerful magic can sway the populous."

"Well you would be wrong, I already tried that."

"Well maybe you need to defeat a powerful beast to gain the respect of the ponies?" Mind you, I was just spewing absolute bollocks at this point. Well I kinda just took some aspects of the Trixie episode and how she impressed Ponyville (atleast most of ponyville).

"There's guards in this town Trixie, a beast isn't gonna get past them."

"Well how about a stampede of beasts?"

"Well... Actually that could work."

"See? Trixie is much smarter than Master." I swear everytime I say master Starlight almost chokes on her spit. Can't complain, shits funny.

"The problem is to get a stampede... Hey Trixie can you make a stampede or something?" Starlight asked.

"Trixie is not that powerful."

"Well, maybe you can get a reward if you do it?" Starlight blushed as she said this.

"Well Trixie still doesn't care," Starlight snorted and looked away from me.

"Well... I could buy you a beer from the bar-"

"Deal."

"... That's it?" Starlight looked perplexed, she probably didn't expect me to accept with that condition. Well I technically had a job there but I'm too lazy to go back.

"When does Trixie start?"

"Preferably right now."

"You're funeral," I used overdrive and teleported to the outskirts of the town.

"Wait I was joki- and she's gone... Buck."

***

I popped into existence outside of the town near a herd of buffalo. 'perfect.'

'You should've accepted her earlier offer. I'm curious on what she could do~'

'Hey! There's kids reading this cursed!'

'Hey no 4th wall breaking Pinkie.'

I inspected the herd if buffalo, not going to lie there's a fuck ton of them. Not sure if Master can handle this many. Well her funeral.

"HEY BULLS! THE GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT TRIXIE IS TALKING TO YOU!"

The herd almost immediately just ran straight towards me, guess that's the power of annoyance.

"YEAH COME AT TRIXIE LIKE THE BULLS YOU ALL ARE!"

'Pause'

'Unpause!'

I quickly galloped towards the town at the speed of a train. I'm just joking, I wasn't that fast. The buffalo's were hot on my tail, ready to just munch on my pony self. You'd think being herbivores makes you not want to tear someone's skin off, you'd be wrong, and I really don't want to prove you wrong.

"STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Starlight deadpanned at me as she watched an entire herd of buffalo chase me towards the town, "Sweet Celestia please guide me through this idiots antic's." She then gallops towards me.

***

"So you actually... Did it huh?" Starlight asked while huffing, she galloped all the way to me and was now running with me towards the town with the herd.

"Of course! The great and magnificent Trixie shall not disappoint her master!" I said with a sly grin. I was loving every and each part of this. That includes the part where Starlight looks pissed.

'They grow up so fast... *Sniff*'

'Yeah! One moment their 14 the other their 0! Isn't that neat?'

'Darling that's the opposite of growing up'

"So... What's the... Plan... Trix?" Starlight looks like she was about to collapse any second now. She definitely was not the athletic type. For now, atleast.

"I thought you had a plan?"

"What?!... I... Didn't... Have... A... Plan?!" Starlight was now both panicking and pissed at me at the same time. A sight to behold.

"Well I have one but it isn't pretty,"

"And... What's... The... Plan?..."

"We go in the town, I do my cool tricks, stop the herd, and you get credit." The plan was simple really, but the way to execute it was not.

"And... Why... Isn't that... Pretty...?"

"Because Trixie's gonna shed blood to make it work." Starlight looked green after I said this. Who knew a future bad guy was not a fan of blood.

"Wait... Like... A lot of... Blood...?"

"Trixie's going to fill a city with blood." Ok that made Starlight almost vomit. It didn't help that I said it with the most emotionless face known to pony kind.

"You're in or...?"

"Yes... I'm... In..." Well gotta rap this up, Starlight's getting tired.

"Well hold on for a second longer, we're almost there."

* * * * *

"Okay master you- oh you're tired tired huh?" Starlight was panting heavily.

We just about barely made into town, the guards tried to stop the herd but you can guess what happened. The herd was about 2 minutes away from me and Starlight.

"Just... Get... It... Over... With..." Starlight sat on her rump and exhaled loudly.

"Better get me that cider then,"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" A mare exclaimed.

The herd was now at the gate of the town, and I took this opportunity to do another anime reference.

"Let's get this over with."

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"Ryoiki tenkai"

'Hey it's a Jujitsu kaisen reference!-'
'Oh! Do I get to do the narrator voice?-"
'AWESOME!!!!!-'
'Ah'd get ready for blood if ah were ya-'
'Blo... Blood?!-'
'Aughhhh this is just plain dumb-'
'Oh dear-'
'Hey guys what'd I miss-'
Achievement unlocked! Shrine!

"Fukuma mizushi"

'Wait what the buck is Ryoiki ten-' I was cut off by a sudden gust of wind behind me and a sudden playing of music around me with people singing. I glanced behind me as Trixie stood on her hind legs and put her hooves together. A large shrine broke through the ground and with it a sudden dome of black engulfed the both of us along with all of the buffalo herd.

A felt the ground shake and rumble as a pile of pony, buffalo, minotaur and griffin skulls appeared into thin air, slowly making me and Trixie ascend a couple of feet.

'Is this how it feels to meet death?' I shivered at the thought, I was probably safe, but that didn't stop the primal fear that this... "Magic" gave me.

"Stand proud Starlight," A sudden stallion voice echoed around me, "because you are strong."

* * * * *

Blood. Just. Blood. The poor... Buffalo... Entire families getting shredded and tossed around like dust. An entire lake of blood was forming right infront of me.

'Is... Is this Trixie?' I asked myself.

"■ Fuga."

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"

"Well technically it means open but-"

A sudden pillar of flame shot up from Trixie's hooves, said flames quickly fell and she caught it. The other hoof stretched the fire and made a gigantic bow and arrow aimed at the remaining buffalo. One buffalo tried in vain to ram into Trixie but was cut up almost immediately.

"Try a little harder than that, you animals."

Trixie fired the flaming arrow, then everything was engulfed in flames.

"Hey, Star? You alright?"

...

'This is your fault curse.'

'How is it my fault?! I didn't do this to her!'

'Yah still controlled Rimu'

'He controlled me! Not the other way around!'

"Can all of you shut up, I'm trying to snap Starlight out her trance here?"

'See?! I can't control my voice here?!'

'You may not control him but you do know you influence him everytime he uses you, right?'

'I am going to punch you so hard right now-'

'Stop,' I put my hoof out to stop Suku- I mean Cursed, 'Let her cook.'

'Don't you dare use references while in a serious discussion Sombra!'

'Hey! I don't go by that name anymore,'

'oooo! Lore reveals! Hey AJ want some popcorn?'

'Ah would normally decline but yah right, this is getting interesting.'

'Hey leave me some too!'

'Of course Dashie! Here-'

'Now this is odd.'

'Oh hey princesses!'

...

'Hey wait why are both princesses here-'

'And close.'

*Poof!*

'...'

'You do not want this smoke Cursed, or should I say little Sukuna?'

'I will fold you like an omelette Sombra don't test me,'

'I'll destroy you're ass bitch.'

'We could do it right here Sombrero and I will cook you,'

'I'll give you an ass whooping so hard you're gonna wish you stayed in Earth.'

'Wanna test that Sombrero? Cause I will ride your donkey ass right here.'

'Pause'

'I would rather not clean your guy's mess up,'

"Wakey wakey eggs and dead ponies," I nudged Starlight a little.

"What... Was that..."

"I have no idea."

"All those families..."

"Don't worry I didn't kill them,"

"What?"

"I did some cool tricks and kinda just made them see what I could do," I gestured behind me, multiple buffalo's where now shivering and most of them were unresponsive.

"What... Happened to your voice...?"

"Oh horseapples hold on. Ahem. Ahem, there we go!"

...

"So... Is Trixie still getting that cider? Ey? Ey?" Everytime I said 'ey' I nudged Starlight. It was fun to do, not even gonna lie to you.

Starlight looked behind her only to see the shocked faces on the townsfolk's faces. All of them froze as Starlight gazed in their general direction.

"Trixie I don't think you're plan worked-" Starlight almost said, but was interrupted by a mare suddenly jumping out of the frozen crowd and onto Starlight.

"Thank you! Thank you!" The mare excitedly hugged the still dumbfounded Starlight, "You saved the town! Thank you! Both of you!"

"What...? But we... Forced the herd of buffalo here...?" I could feel Starlight's growing confusion by the second.

"Those buffalo were pillaging towns and farms nearby! Oh you save the whole area from starving, thank you!" The mare nuzzled Starlight to thank her even more. I relished the love that the townsfolk were handing out, but I relished Starlight's growing confusion even more.

"Trixie couldn't have dont it with my dear master here, Starlight Glimmer." My sly smile was hidden with my hoof. Oh don't change Starlight please don't change. Wait. Actually change a little please.

"What can we do to repay both of you?" The mare asked, "We will do anything that you ask!"

My smile grew wider and wider, "Well first..." I looked over to Starlight with a knowing grin, she looked at me with a terrified expression, completely knowing what I was gonna do, "We could have a..."

"No, Trixie don't-"

"PARTYYY!!!!!!!!"

'FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!'

'Oh dear faust please get me out of this hell'

"Finally! I'm done with the last hive!" Chrysalis said while panting heavily.

As you can see (well read), Chrysalis has destroyed each and every hive in Equestria except her own. This war between changelings has been happening for 234 years, and now is the day that it finally ended. Chrysalis, along with three allied hives, has killed every other changeling in their path.

"I can finally start on my plan to rule over Equestria! HAHAHAHA!" Chrysalis said with the default villain pose.

"My queen! I have news for thee," Crystal, her most powerful, most agile and most talented of changelings kneeled down infront of her.

"What is it my dear Crystal?"

"It seems that there is another changeling queen,"

Chrysalis was stunned for a moment. Did one of them escape? Did one get hidden?

"What?! Where?" Chrysalis hissed.

"The fake queen is in Gravel mane as we speak your majesty."

"Kill her now! And don't take others, kill her yourself."

"I shall follow your orders my queen." Crystal quickly disappeared and left Chrysalis on her own.

'Dammit! I don't have enough love to maintain my mind control spells on my changelings!' Chrysalis looked on to where Crystal was a moment before and thought for a moment, a mischievous grin appearing on her face as she thought of a perfect plan.

"Im sorry Crystal, but it seems you have outlived your usefulness. I shall give you a burial fit for Celestia when you inevitably fail."

Chrysalis knew that Crystal would either lose, or seriously injured when she returns. Crystal may have been the strongest other than herself, but she was also the most emotional of her royal battalion. Always disagreeing with her and contradicting her plans to save more changeling lives. Pathetic.

"You shall not be missed, my dear 'friend'. "

Princess Cadence was trotting along the halls of the castle, looking for auntie Celestia. Or that's what she said when guards asked where she was going.

No, Cadence was out on a mission. Auntie would never let her learn combat magic when she was younger, but now that she was at the ripe old age of 16, she was now ready to protect her loved ones with force.

Cadence, or whoever she was, reincarnated into Equestria at the start of her life. At first she was rightfully confused. The last she remembered was getting interrogated by the enemy spy for information, the spy put a gun to her face and threatened her if she didn't leak any information. She thought it was a bluff at first, now she knew otherwise.

After she was born, she treated her life in Equestria as a dream at first. Well, that all stoped when her parents got crushed in a construction incident, almost killing her and them in the process. Princess Celestia came to the rescue however and stopped the debris from fully burying young Candice and her family. That's when she knew to stop treating her second chance as a game.

She was an avid watcher of MLP:FIM in her past life, heck, she even bought multiple toys. That all changed when a nuke was launched however. She survived the fallout, but was then drafted to fight the third world war. She hated every single second of it. Every drop of blood, every downpour of acid rain, every artificial meat that she ate. Everything.

Now that she had a second life, she wouldn't waste it. Not waste it anymore, atleast.

Cadence knew the entire story of MLP, she watched it all on repeat in collage after all. She also knew that she needed to get with Shining armour in the future, lest she would destroy the timeline that is. She practiced and studied as hard as she could, pulling all nighters like in collage. She even became an alicorn before the expected time. She was done messing around.

Cadence doesn't want her family or Celestia to know that she replaced their Cadence, that would ruin the series and her second life. She also wouldn't let them know that she was a male in her past life, with the same reasons as before but also because of embarrassment. She also never, EVER considered the... Baby alicorn in the room, or the wedding, or the relationship with Shining, or really with anything remotely mare like.

Cadence was always told that she was a 'tommare' all her life, but all of them can suck it now that she has access to battle magic! Oh today's gonna be a gooooood studying session. She knows it.

6

Author's Note

What in tarnation indeed. Anyways this chapter is a little shorter, since it's mostly just for explanation on where some of the characters are and introduction to other characters.

Most of this chapter is comedy but some of it is serious so yea. Anyways, next chapter is going to be doozy!

Little context/ world building:

Gravel mane is in the mesa of Equestria. However, Gravel mane is lucky because it's specifically near a forest. Lush mane is the counterpart of Gravel mane and both depend on each other for food and security.

There's a river that cuts between the forest where Lush mane is located in, the river flows all the way down and near to Gravel mane. Both used the river for water, Gravel mane typically uses the water in the lake where the river flows into except for plumbing or gardening. Lush uses the river water only.

6

I'm fucking invincible!!!

-Guy with big scissors.

"I'm sorry Rimu, but you're parents has been pronounced dead."

***

"Today we will celebrate the life of Mr and Ms. Tempest,"

***

"This all we can give you, a house and a bike, we admire your grandpa when he served, goodbye."

***

"Rimu, I know you may be grieving, but your grades cannot continue to go down like this. We have decided to only give you one more chance, we hope that you will do better next time."

***

"Well, I decided to pace myself so I wouldn't get tired. Not like you and Applejack, I also admired the nature."

"Turn that off right now mister! Or you'll get detention and get suspended once and for all!"

* * *

"No one came for my birthday party, again. *Sigh...*"

"How do you do this Pinkie? Just how? You get everybody to your parties like it's nothing, but here I am not even getting one person in my party..."

"Eh, one more birthday used for MLP binge watching."

***

"You're suspended. Don't come anywhere near the school again. You're lucky we didn't call the cops. Go."

...

"Well... I always have another school to try and go to..."

'...'

"How did you do it! How did you defeat the bad ponies?" A colt asked Starlight who was sitting at a table in the bar.

"Well... We just went with our hearts... I think."

I gulped down another batch of apple cider as Starlight continued to answer the townsfolk's questions. I owe it to her, she keeps promises. Right about now I had drank down about 12 cider's and counting. I loveeeeeee getting wasteddddddddddd. Or that's what I would say if I didn't have a certain biology that keeps me from getting drunk. I'm looking, at you changeling body.

"So... How's the cider Trixie?" Starlight asked while drinking her own cider, she looks like she really needs a wink or too, she about ready to collapse right now.

"Trixie thinks it's alright."

"Really? I think it's the best," Starlight put a hoof to her chest and looked up with pride.

"Well Trixie thinks you just have bad taste buds,"

"How dare you!" Starlight jokingly accused me.

...

We both burst out laughter at her accusation. We both needed that.

"Ohhh that was good Star, that was a good one,"

"Hey I've been practicing,"

"Since when? Since the last time you went here?"

"We don't talk about that."

...

This party was nice. Sure, it wasn't at the level of Pinkie's party, but I've researched how she makes parties more than once so I have an idea or two.

There were multiple tables of salad, cupcakes, and cakes at the side of the entrance way of the bar. There were also games laid out at another table, most foals tended to gravitate to the board games but the adults played party games instead.

It was... Fun...

'Yeah...'

"Hey Star?" I asked.

"Yeah Trixie?"

"Trixie thinks this is the perfect opportunity to gather members for our little cult."

"You think so? How do you think we should do it?"

...

"I dunno, Trixie thought you had a plan." Starlight visibly faced hoof in front of me. She sat there, thinking for a few seconds.

"What if... We convince the ponies to follow us?" Star said.

I have no fucking clue how she recruited cult members in the actual show. For all I could know she fucking kidnapped them...

Actually she might've kidnapped them. Well... Fuck you main timeline Starlight for not making a guide on cult recruiting.

"You sure that'll work-"

"May I have a moment, Ms. Lulamoon and Ms. Glimmer?" We both flinched at the new voice behind us, we both looked towards the voice and found a rather old stallion, "My name is Mayor stallion, you could just call me Mayor if you would like."

Well that's an original and not at all copied name. I wonder where he got that name... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

"What seems to be the problem Mayor?" Starlight asked quizzically.

"Oh! There's no problems at all! Actually, I was thinking if you two wanted to become the head guard and vice mayor respectively."

Well. That was easy.

"Hey Star does this normally happen here?" I whispered.

"You bucking tell me!" She whispered shouted.

"So do you two accept?" Mayor asked. He was looking at us with closed eyes while smiling.

"Sureeeeeee..." Starlight really elongated the sure more than she needed to.

"Fantastic! This is my way of repaying you two." Mayor then walked out the pub, leaving to god knows where.

...

"Well," Starlight said, waiting for my reply.

"That was uh, helpful?" I finished.

"..."

"..."

"Now what?" Starlight looked at me for answers, I only replied with a simple,

"Trixie thinks we're going too fast."

"I completely agree,"

Agent Sweetie drop. Oh agent Sweetie drop. You know that name, right? Of course you do, she's bonbon's true identity.

Well, her day was going as smoothly as you can think.

"AGENT SWEETIE DROP DO YOU COPY?!"

"YES SIR GUM DROP!" Sweetie drop saluted.

"HAVE YOU BEEN BRIEFED ON YOUR MISSION AGENT SWEETIE DROP?"

"YES SIR GUM DROP!"

"SUMMARIZE THE MISSION TO ME, 3 MINUTES TOPS!"

"YES SIR GUM DROP!" Sweetie drop then explained her mission.

Her mission was simple.

Go to Gravel mane, a town in the mesa that was luckily situated next to a lush forest with river streaming down the middle of it. It was close to a town named, "Lush mane". Ride the train from Canterlot to Lush mane, walk through the forrest edge towards Gravel mane, gather intelligence on codename Moon and Aurora. Try to blend in with the locals, new name will be...

"Bonbon, last name drops."

"Good, your train ride is in the night, pack your things and get ready, your hotel in Gravel mane is already booked. Don't get caught, do you understand?"

"YES SIR!" Swee- no- Bonbon saluted, she needs to get used to her new identify as of today. May Celestia bring her luck and fortune for this mission.

"Left the hive as of today for a mission," Crystal wrote on her journal/diary. She found it in her last trip to the outside world to gather love. One unlucky stallion gifted it to her, trying to get on her good side, "I suspect Queen Chrysalis is running out of love to feed the hive, must kill the imposter and steal more love for my queen." She closed her journal and kept buzzing her wings, flying over a forest as she did.

"Hey auntie?" I asked Celestia,

"Yes my dear niece?" Celestia replied while sipping on tea.

"What did I hear about in the library last night? Something about magicless casting?" Celestia almost spat her drink out when I said this. She quickly wiped her snout with a handkerchief and coughed a few times, I could swear I could smell the love coming from the handkerchief, eh it's probably nothing.

"Well... My dear niece, it seems like there's been reports of a pony using magic without the help of her horn," Celestia replied after calming herself.

Never have I ever heard in the show about a "Magicless casting" and somehow it's real?! This was uncharted territory for her, a dangerous one to boot.

"Really? What did the reports say Auntie?" Celestia almost didn't reply to my question and tried to changed the topic until she saw my puppy dog eyes. I've been training these bad boys from the moment I was born! No way she rejects now!

"Well... The reports say that a pony, either a pegasus or a unicorn mare, used magic without the help of her horn," See I told you!

"Well, that's odd. Did the reports say anything else?"

"The reports mentioned a certain other mare fighting the other mare, for clarity reasons, they have named as Moon and Aurora, Moon being the magicless caster and Aurora being the opponent," A fight? And a big one too? If it wasn't Celestia wouldn't be this concerned about any of this. Something changed...

"It was also reported that a group of buffalo almost stampeded their way into the town the next day. Thankfully Moon stopped the buffalo by using a "Strange spell". "

"What spell did she use Auntie?" Now I'm getting even more curious! This was never mentioned in the show at all!

"Well that's the thing," Huh? "we don't know what the spell she used was,"

"How? Is it a rare spell?"

"Well, in all purposes, it's practically a new type of spell." Wait this definitely wasn't mentioned in the show, no way in hell Twilight didn't study this.

"A new spell?"

"Yes, the spell seemingly made a bone structure appear out of thin air, it also made a black dome and covered the entire town."

A bone structure... Black dome....

"What happened next?"

"Well, witnesses say that multiple slashes appeared and cleaved through the buffalo. Moon also apparently summoned a pillar of fire and reshaped it to make a bow and arrow, shooting it towards the buffalo."

Hmmm... Doesn't sound like it was from MLP, also doesn't sound like it was from any cartoon show. Maybe it was from anime? It sounded like anime anyways. Wait why would it be from anime? Im not on Earth! There's no way ponies know anime moves! Get your mind out of the fluffy clouds Cadence! I need to know more, but I can't for now. It's too dangerous. For now I'll look from the sidelines.

"Hey Auntie? Did you send an investigator to figure more?"

"Well... You could say that I guess."

* * * THREE DAYS BEFORE THE THREE CONVERGE * * *

"It's getting dark, need to find shelter. Looks like rain is coming. Three pegasi talking about rain. Can't write much. Already raining. Found cave." Crystal hurriedly wrote in her journal. Rain came in like a wrecking ball and destroyed her plans of getting to the fake queen before the day after tomorrow. For now, she will sleep. She's got a long two days ahead of her, after all.

"That kid I'll tell yah," Gum drops said, getting drenched in the rain, "She's a tough one alright. One of my best,"

"Yeah I can tell," A dark blue coated pegasus mare said to Gum drops, "You really like to compliment her when she can't hear, huh?"

Both of them we're looking at the now departing train on which Bonbon was a passenger of, "Well, compliments never do good for a young kid, you already know that Champagne."

"Yeah yeah, I know. You complemented me, I messed up on a mission because of my pride, and now I haven't heard you compliment me since last great cataclysm." Champagne replied.

"You're like exaggerating details huh, never change Champagne, never change."

"And you should change, that mane style went out if trend years ago Drops,"

"Oh shut it Champagne, like you're any better with your crusty ribbon."

They both shared a laugh, clearly enjoying each other's company. Hopefully these two don't die, *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*.

Trixie was out cold at the floor of Starlight's tent. Starlight, being the ever so gracious mare that she was, drop kicked Trixie when she rolled over to her in her sleep. Starlight didn't regret this however and just kept sleeping on her comfy mattress.

'That mare I tell you, she got guts.'

'Stop trying to flirt with a minor Cursed.'

'What? I'm not flirting with her, that's Rimu's job to do.'

'Yeah right, when was the last time he talked to a women anyways.'

'About three years, two and a half months, three days, two hours and 57 minutes ago.'

'Well that's if you count the dog as a women, if you don't...'

'Add about two more years to that counter otherwise.'

'Really?'

'Really.'

...

'Hey! Dashie? Want to look at his dreams again?'

'Heck yeah I do!'

'That really isn't very nice...'

'It's fine Flutters, hey Pinkie what's playing tonight?'

'Lets see... We got reruns of his favorite anime, Flutterguy memes, some uh... Not so kid friendly dreams, and nightmares.'

'Oooo! Nightmare's sound fun!'

'Trust me, his nightmares are either the most boring things you've seen, or the most random.'

'Well let's play it and find out!'

"What do you mean you're out of bananas?!" Trixie shouted at the strangely blue person infront of her, she had grey hair but she didn't look old.

"Trixie said what she said!" The person said to his face.

"HEY I'M TRIXIE NOT YOU!"

"Yeah yeah, well Trixie is still out of bananas." Trixie2 retorted back.

"TRIXIE WILL BOMB YOUR STORE!"

"Psh, try it, Trixie has Celestia on speed dial." Trixie2 pointed with her index finger to the hologram projector at her side.

"Wait until Luna hears about this! Trixie will lose her job!"

"Trixie's or yours?"

"TRIXIE'S!"

'See? What'd I tell ya'

'Boringggggggg, my head also hurts from all the third pony speak.'

'Well, we could change his nightmares!'

'Change it to horror!'

'You got it!'

"Trixie thinks we're safe," Trixie said while panting, Twilight of all ponies was next to him. Equestria girls Twilight, not pony Twilight.

"I told you to not anger the ghost!"
Twilight shouted whispered to him.

'Classic, hey do you know why Rimu calls himself Trixie in his dreams?'

'Ah would reckon it was to get intah character.'

"Ooooooo! Im a spooky ghost!!!!!!"

"Wait Princess Celestia?! Why are you dead?!"

"AHHH! IT'S A HORSE!"

"Hey that's a slur in Equestria!"

"..."

"AHHH! IT'S A FAT BITCH!"

"I will haunt you until you die you scunt."

'Wow using TF2 slurs, daring today aren't we?'

'Blehhh, horror doesn't work with Rimu in it, mannnn what a waste.'

'How about his deepest fear?'

'You're the boss!'

'No don't tell me-'

"I FUCKING HATE STUDYINGGGGGGGGGGHGGGGG!!!!!!!!" Trixie sat on a chair while screaming, he was surrounded by multiple stacks of assignments, projects, and books.

'Now this is just distasteful,'

"Of course there would be 100 assignments, due today! My night's gonna be fun!!!!!!!!!"

'It's going to be fun if you stop complaining!'

"This is just perfect too! I can test out my new fucking gun that I bought!" Trixie opens a drawer form below his desk that he's sitting infront of to reveal a revolver inside. Trixie grabbed the revolver and put the barrel into the left side of his head.

"WHOOPTIDOO!"

*Bang!*

...
...
...

'He shot a blank didn't he-'

'He shot a blank.'

'Well technically, a blank can still kill hi-'

'WE KNOW TWILIGHT!'

"FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"

'Just... Change the nightmare please?'

"I couldn't believe it wasn't butter!" No one laughed.

'Now this is just sad...'

'And funny!'

"Tell... Twilight... To... Go... Buck herself... *Bleh*" Starlight laid in Trixie's hooves. Dead. Also not a pony apparently.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Trixie screamed out to the heavens, rain pouring down on his coat and mane.

'Awwwww, he cares about Starlight!'

'That's what you noticed first?'

'Just let er' see the good in it'

"I always come back!" A white haired person with blue eyes said, then almost immediately getting cut in half, again.

'Heh'

"Uno!" Trixie shouted to the three humans around him.

"Plus four"

"Plus four"

"Plus four"

"FUCK!" Trixie stood and smacked his head on a black wall.

"So what's the answer to number 10?"

"Uh.... 5?" Trixie said while putting his hoof out.

"No you fucking idiot! You're a disgrace! Get out of my classroom before I beat your ass."

"Ok."

'That isn't even remotely true!'

"I... Like you!" Trixie stretched out his hooves to reveal a bouquet of flowers.

"..."

"Ew."

'That just hurts to watch.'

'Darling? Please change it quickly.'

'And we're in a black void.'

'Well that sucks.'

'Now what?'

'Hey guys what's that?'

'Wait are those...'

'What in tarnation?'

'BRACE FOR IMPACT!'

'When did you get here-'

7 [PART1-3]

Author's Note

Haha. Goofy. This chapter I started to lean on the random parts of my story, it's an experiment so please tell me if y'all approve.

Anyways, I wanted to show y'all how the mind 10 treat different characters ( Rimu's mindscape is called the mind 10 now):

Flash sentry (EQG)

Most unfun character to be around. I hope Sci-Twi gets with him to spite Sombra though.

Fucking hate that guy dude, holy celestia. He's a mary sue in the flesh, nothing is wrong about him or his past. You know, when me and Cursed was transported to EQG (Long story) I fucking despised him. Fucker gets on my nerves.

He's so dreamy, he's the perfect man for me, pony or not! Don't listen to Sombra's lies, he's deep and sophisticated when he wants to be , oooooooo~!

He's more shallow than Cursed and that's saying something.

He's alright, I guess. Not the best at parties, Cursed is better so I can't complain.

I, uh... He's... Too um... Friendly...? He's nice and all but it feels like he uh... Doesn't show his um... True feelings... It kinda uh... Scares me....

Ah have to agree with with flutters here, ah don't like how he hides things from ahs. (She means 'ahs' it translates to 'us' in not accent.)

Oh he's just the most spectacular of friends if I do say do my self, he helps me always when I need him the most, he helps all of us actually. Well our EQG versions, not the pony versions.

Eh, he seems like a spoiled brat. Don't like em, especially if Cursed wants something from him. Crimson flag showing there.

I quite literally do not care. He's just a boring character, what can I say more?

Also, this is going to start my 'serious' ark. This fanfic is gonna be a lot more well thought out (as you or may not see here).

I have up to chapter 15 planned in my mind.

This "ark" if you can call it that, is comprised of 3 chapters with a break chapter at the end. This ark is gonna have a lot less of the mind 10 and more on Rimu thoughts.

Next "ark" after this will be the 'Three factions clash!' ark. Where Bonbon, Crystal and Rimu, well, clash.

If I get the time I will remake 6 to be a lot more organized but for now I want to focus on the upcoming chapters.

By the time of writing, this chapter is done. 4/25/2024

Scheduled end of 'Ursa major' ark is:

4/30/2024 - 5/2/2024

Hope yall enjoy and give me criticism! I really need it after chapter 6.

7 [PART1-3]

I'm a little goofy sometimes.

-A guy who burned down his orphanage.

* * * 2 DAYS BEFORE THEY CLASH OR SOMETHING IDK * * *

'God dammit Cursed this is why you don't get paid'

"It feels like Trixie's head exploded," I said while eating my breakfast. A nice hay bacon and hay eggs (why is it all hay???)

"Well... Maybe you should get a doctor...?" Starlight said while slowly levitating her fork into her mouth. I swiftly grabbed the fork with my magic and ate her food infront of her face, "Hey!"

"*Munch* Well that's your fault you were too slow in eating, *Munch*"

"I worked hard for that piece of hay bacon!"

"And I worked harder to grab it out of your mouth, *munch*"

"Why you aughta...!" Starlight put a hoof infront of her, shaking it like a cartoon villain.

I quickly levitated another piece of her food into my mouth, "Keep talking like that Master and you're gonna be out of food faster than I can ruin this story," Wait shit 4th Walls breaking.

"I'll get back at you I swear...!" Typical cartoon villain angry pose here.

"Yeah yeah, Trixie doesn't care, yada yada."

"Yeah? Then how about... This!" Starlight flipped my plate into the air with her magic. I calmly outstretched my hoof and caught my plate, it's content's magically not spilling.

"Wha- how???" Starlight said, puzzled.

"MagiiiIIIccccCCCC!"

...

"Dear Celestia your insufferable sometimes, you know that right?"

"Yap yap yap,"

'Hey can someone put that picture of shoko here?"

'Thanks.'
...
...
...

"...What?"

*SLAM!*

Starlight jumped at the noise of our tent's door slamming open, meanwhile I took my opportunity and ate the rest of her food. She looked confused at the sudden and unwelcomed visitor that so nicely slammed a plastic flimsy door.

"Is this where the new vice-mayor is...?" A filly said while panting heavily.

"Yes, I think so anyways?"

"Starlight what the fuck do you mean 'you think so?'"

"Phew! Okay! Good, Mr. Mayor is asking for you in the town hall." The filly said, still panting.

"Why, if I may ask?" Starlight calmly questioned to the filly.

"I don't have a clue Ms, uh-"

"Ms. Glimmer," I replied to the filly before Star can say otherwise.

"- Ms. Glimmer, but ah do know it's important!"

"Well that's all that matters, please inform Mr. Mayor for us that we are heading his way, if you're so kind to." Starlight has a way with words I can't deny that.

"Will do!" The filly mocked saluted and ran off to what I could only presume to be the town hall

"Well. So much for a calm morning," I quipped.

"What'd you expect? We're the new public officials here I don't think there will be a calm morning for us," Starlight started packing her saddlebags as she said this. My head was still throbbing however so I think it's time to use my patented excuses technique.

"Hey can I go later? My head still hurts."

"... You can just say you don't want to," Fuck.

"Fine! Trixie doesn't want to go to boring meetings,"

"Yeah yeah, I'll tell Mr. Mayor that," Starlight opened the door to the tent and looked back at me, "please don't go and kill anypony for atleast the afternoon, please?" Before I could answer she already left the door and was now trotting over to the town hall.

"Fine,"

***

After I washed the dishes, I started to trot outside for some well needed fresh air. The town quiet and peaceful, no birds in sight, grass is non existent, and I'm pretty sure I saw a tumbleweed in the corner of my eyes.

I haven't had a moment like this since, what? When I first woke up? All of these events that I experienced through wasn't even a weeks time. I just started to walk around town, taking in the scenery. Then I remembered something.

Aren't I technically dead?

Then another thought came to mind.

Why am I so calm about any of this?
'Zero'

Name: Rimu
Age: 4.99 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 1
Skills:
Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 2)
Basic magic (Lv: 2)
Pinkie stash!
Annoyance
Cursed energy: king variation (level 3)
Elements
Love meter: 12%

I walked around the desolate town. Slowly, instead of the peaceful aura that was emanating from the town, it was replaced by a nagging feeling of dread.

All of this doesn't make sense. Im too calm, I should be freaking the hell out! I just DIED 5 days ago! Freaking died! Now im in my favorite cartoon show and I may or may not just changed the timeline! Fuck I'm stupid. Why did I help Starlight? One of the villains of the show?! And help her be more creditable too! If Sunbutt, or even one of the main 6 somehow find their way to here, I'm gonna lose my mind. I need to... I need to what...? Go back to that shit hole I called Earth? What do I need to DO?!

Shit, I'm starting to hyperventilate. Breathing exercises me, breathing exercises. Maybe... I just need to look this screen for a couple of seconds.

*Growl!*

"Huh?" I look towards the source of the growl, only to find a...

"URSA MAJOR?!?!?" Starlight flew off of her seat and into the face of Mr. Mayor, "HERE?!? WERE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE EVERFREE!?" Starlight was now shaking Mr. Mayor like a soda can. Mr. Mayor calmly put a hoof out to stop Starlight.

"Yes, it's a very long story but in short, one of my friends seemed to have angered an Ursa major,"

"SEEMED TO??????" Starlight went back to her seat as a blur and collapsed into it, "We. Are. Bucked." Starlight covered her face with both of her hooves, just weeping into them.

"Wait! What about the royal guard?" Starlight jumped up from her seat again, "We can ask them for help!"

Starlight wasn't gonna sacrifice an entire town just for her to not get caught, hell, if she had to get caught to save this town thay trusted them so much, she wouldn't even fight back, well, IF the guard can intervene,

"About that... Seems like there's a rather alarming increase of monsters from the Everfree at this very moment. The royal guard is stretched too thin and can't place any troops in Gravel mane," Mr. Mayor said, with a sad tone in his voice.

Starlight slumped even deeper into her somewhat comfortable cushion chair. Her mind started to run in overdrive for a solution, any solution.

One solution came up, and was quickly shot down by her brain, another came up, another shot down. This loop seemed to go on forever, but in the outside it only looked like Starlight was deep in thought.

"Trixie's gonna walk around town for a bit, I feel like I have a massive headache," What Trixie's said echoed in her mind as she thought. Then the realization hit her like a chariot.

"Wait, where's Trixie right now?"

*Growl!*

I stood there, completely baffled by the sight I was currently seeing. It was a... Very tiny bear with stars dotted around it's body that's also semi translucent.

It started to walk towards me and grab one of the holes in hooves and tried to drag me towards a destination.

"Hey uh, little guy?" I calmly said to the little bear that was trying it's hardest to drag me, failing rather cutely. It stopped grabbing onto my hoof and started to pout as it rolled around the ground infront of me.

"You want something?" I asked. I was rather surprised when it's eyes widened, looked around us, and gave me a little nod, "So uh, what do you want from Trixie?"

It started to babble incoherently at me with it doing actions as it babbled. It pointed at me, and to the distant forest, after a few seconds of babble it pointed at itself then started to stand with it's hind legs and tried to do a scary roar. It then made it self smaller and shook uncontrollably, then it faked ran away from me, only to quickly come back. It then mimicked how I walked and put its claws out to give me nothing, it then quickly faked grabbed the thing it's previous self tried to give me, then it stood up again and clawed at the air. It then went back to shivering and faked ran away again.

After that whole... Stage play, it started to point at me again and tried to drag me to the forest, "Hey hey! No dragging Trixie!" I said sternly, it gave me small whimper and sadly walked away from me, for real this time.

"Buuuuuutttttttttttttt," I started, and was cut off with a sudden hug from the cute bear, it hugging my neck, "Fine! Trixie will walk with you!"

The bear let go of my neck and started to walk towards it's destination. Before I could follow however, I noticed an odd looking dagger that was stabbed into the ground, or was it a knife? 'Eh, safety precautions, maybe I'll need it.'

I slowly trotted towards the dagger, you're finally back the bear cub was now looking at me with curiosity beaming from it's face. I picked the dagger up and placed it in my nearly forgotten saddlebag that Starlight gave me, after that admittedly strange event, I slowly trotted back to the bear cub,

"Let's see what you dragged Trixie along, little cub." It nodded and walked to it's destination, with me not far behind.

'Told you we're partners,'

Achievement unlocked! A little red murder machine!

"First it was the changeling queen, now it's the monster invasion from the Everfree?!" Sunset exclaimed while covered in paperwork. Celestia was currently on her break and she decided to just dump the rest of her paperwork on her faithful student, Sunset. What a good teacher.

"'Oh dear Sunset! It's only a couple pages of paperwork' MY FLANK! THIS WAS PRACTICALLY TAX SEASON ALL OVER AGAIN!" Sunset shivered at her memory of the dreaded... Tax season...

Sunset calmed herself and looked through the paperwork, approving or disapproving the small request while leaving the big ones for Ms. Cakebutt to read through, "A request for a free cart repair, reject. A request for tax exemption for the reason of death in family, accept. Request for pool, reject. Request for more security in the town of Gravel mane, for Celestia- Wait Gravel mane? Hold on for a second..." Sunset skimmed through the request at lightning speeds,

"Hello dear blah blah, the town of Gravel mane appreciates blah blah blah, you are the most wonderful blah blah, ah! Here!" Sunset exclaimed while hovering the scroll a little too close to her eyes.

'We humbly request the assistance of the royal guard or the army as we have been informed that an ursa major has escaped the ever illusive Everfree forest because of the recent monster outbreak, and is now seemingly Tartarus bent on wreaking havock in my humble town of Gravel mane. We hope to hear from you soon,

-Mr. Mayor Stallion from the town of Gravel mane.'

"Well that doesn't really need the royal gu- AN URSA MAJOR?!?!?" Sunset practically back flipped through the air when the realization hit her. She fell on her face, instantly giving her a nose bleed.

"I... I need to tell Princess Celestia!" She said as she shot up from the ground and flew out of the library doors at lightning speeds. A few moments later a thud can be heard and a certain condiment head groaned in Annoyance, "Aughh, I think I have sa concussion." And then she promptly blacked out in the middle of the hallway.

"... Im gonna pretend I didn't see that," A certain blue mane, white coated unicorn stallion said. His sister right next to him.

We were now at the entrance of the spooky forest I nicknamed 'Everfree Jr.', I followed the bear as it walked faster through the dirt path that was cut through the forest crudely.

"If Trixie may ask, what are we doing here little cu-"

"HELP! PLEASE! SOMEPONY! *Cough*"

I looked towards the bear as it swiftly turned to me with a determined expression on it's face.

"Guessing that's the thing you want me to handle huh?" The bear nodded and walked faster, almost running.

"Please! Can somepony... Help..." The voice was slowly loosing energy as we got closer and closer. Both me and the bear went running as we heard it.

After a few intense moments of running we skidded to a halt as we came across a clearing in the forest. Well clearing was an understatement, it was more like a chunk of the trees from the forest along with the bushes were ctrl alt deleted out of existence.

In the middle of the clearing a white coated mare with a green mane laid, covered in blood and cuts. She was basically holding on for dear life at this moment. I ran towards he without thinking and pulled a spare bandage that I stole and quickly tried to do first aid on her.

"Oh thank Celestia! Somepony heard me! I swear, the moment I come back to Gravel mane I will kick Mr. Mayors fl-" She coughed up blood as she tried to end her sentence, I quickly grabbed a small canteen from my bad (That I also stole) and let her drink it, she happily obliged.

'I hope I'm doing this right, I literally didn't pay attention in Health.' I thought as I looked at the mare, now chugging away at my canteen. After a few moments she finally let go of the canteen and gasped for breath with a hearty moan.

"I really needed that, my canteen got busted up along with me, so..." She blushed in embarrassment as she played with her hooves.

"I would really like to small talk with you but my medical expertise really can't help your condition, we need to get you to a hospital ASAP." I said while slowly levitating her to my back, she tried to say something but was cut off by a roar behind the both us.

*ROARRRRRR!!!!*

We both looked backwards and saw the definition of 'Your fucking screwed' as a grown ass ursa major towered over the both of us.

"Well shi-" The wind was knocked out of me as I went flying across the clearing and tumbled on the ground, thankfully the mare was safe in my telekinesis bubble and didn't get hurt.

'If I were you, I would use that nifty dagger you nabbed.'

I shakily stood up on my hooves and wiped the blood flowing down my skull. The mare was shouting something at me but the concussion muted her for me.

"Go," The mare looked at me confused and continued to say something to me, "GO!" I shouted as I dropped her from my magic and gave her a fair amount of my excess love. Hey actually did you know I could do that? No? Well I think that was my hail Mary.

She looked apprehensive but nodded as she saw my bloodied face and started to run away with the cub in tow, "RUN FASTER! MY DEATH IS GONNA BE FUTILE IF BOTH OF US FUCKING DIES!"

I panted as soon as I finished my shout. I slowly turned my head towards the ursa major and saw it was looking towards the mare and the little bear.

*Dismantle* A shallow cut appeared on the Ursa's chest, it getting regenerated almost immediately, "HEY! SHADOW BEAR! LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING TWAT!"

The ursa then charged towards me without warning, 'SHIT DODGE IDIOT!' I shouted to myself as I jumped towards my left, almost dodging the ursa's swipe but unfortunately for me it still connected and I was again went flying by the hit and hit a tree that was a mile away from the middle of the clearing.

'That fuckers fast...!' I thought to myself.

***WARNING!!! YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE!***

SURVIVAL CHANCE: 0%!

ACTIVATING THE SKILL: Elements FORCEFULLY!

'FUCK! Finally! We got fucking cut off from you!'

'Shit he isn't looking goo-'

@#-*! HAS FORCIBLY DEACTIVATED ELEMENTS!

SKILL ELEMENTS IS BEING FORCEFULLY ACTI-

$@&*! HAS FORCEFULLY DEACTIVATE ELEMENTS AND HAS BLOCKED THE HIDDEN SKILL: Helping hands!

I ignored the rapidly moving screens as they kept flashing in and out of existence, "OVERDRIVE!" I shouted

OVERDRIVE HAS BEEN FORCEFULLY DEACTIVATED!

OVERDRIVE HAS BROKEN THROUGH THE DEACTIVATION AND ACTIVATED! (Level up!)

*@#&! HAS FORCEFULLY LIMITED OVERDRIVE! 50% EFFICIENCY HAS BEEN REMOVED FORCEFULL!

SKILL: CURSED ENERGY HAS BEEN FORCEFULLY LIMITED! 99% EFFICIENCY HAS BEEN REMOVED!

SKILL: Pinkie stash! HAS BEEN FORCEFULLY DEACTIVATED AND BLOCKED!

SKILL: BEST HOOF SKILLS! HAS BEEN FORCEFULLY DEACTIVATED-

SKILL: BEST HOOF SKILLS HAS FORCIBLY BROKE THROUGH DEACTIVATION AND WILL REMAIN ACTIVE!

BEST HOOF SKILLS EFF-

BEST HOOF SKILLS HAS FORCEFULLY REMOVED THE LIMITER ON ITSELF!

BEST HOOF SKILLS HAS DAMPENED THE LIMITER ON YOUR SKILLS!

CURSED ENERGY: 98.99% LIMITED

Pinkie stash!: LIMITER DAMPENED! EXTREME CAUTION! IN YOUR CURRENT STATE YOU WILL DIE IF YOU PULL SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR MANE!

ELEMENTS: HAS NOT CHANGED!

HIDDEN SKILL HELPING HANDS!: LIMITER DAMPENED! ONLY ONE WORD CAN BE SAID AT A TIME!

OVERDRIVE: HAS NOT CHANGED

Well... This is gonna be so fun...!

'ZERO!'

NAME: RIMU

WARNING! INTERFERENCE DETECTED! INFORMATION HAS BEEN ALTERED!

A small yet powerful changeling queen, a jumper from earth, and a victim of abuse and bullying. He drowned himself in manga, MLP and games to escape his awful reality. Then, he met me. We became friends, partners.

Until one day, everything went black. I was so confused, where did Rimu go? Why was everything black again? Then I heard sounds, I felt my body getting tossed around and mangled into nothingness. It was so silent in the abyss, but I heard you again. You're cries of help, your lust for battle, your pride and happiness.

Who am I, you may ask? Well. You already know me partner. My. Name. Is.

C H A R A

'You didn't think I wouldn't forget our promise, did you partner?'

God dammit.

Well... Good night Irene.

1 of 3

Chapter. End.

8 [Part2-3]

WhenImetyouinthesummah

-My heart runs cold

MUSIC: MEGALO STRIKES BACK V3 NITRO REMIX (optional if you guys like reading in silence like me)

A gust of wind went past me as a boulder was thrown at my side, barely missing me.

'What the FUCK?!' I scrambled to get on hooves as the ursa major charged at me like a bullet train.

***DANGER! HEALTH IS BELOW 10%! ACTIVATING HIDDEN SKILL: Games eye!***

9/100

9999/10000

'Oh you have to be fucking with me' I flailed my hooves around to male the screens infront me disappear, as they disappeared I saw a claw that was mere inches of from my head ready to take it off.

I quickly ducked as the ursa major missed it's attack, as it swung I bucked it's outstretched arm and it yelped in pain.

9989/10000

I galloped away as fast as I could as the major was still blowing at it's hand in pain.

'DISMANTLE!'

Three slashes appeared at the bear's chest, blood spewing out of the slashed areas.

9980/10000

Before I could celebrate however I felt blood gushing out of my throat from the stress that my skill put on my body.

'Well that sucks,'

'Shut up Chara for a fucking second!'

'Aw, you aren't excited to meet your best friend again?'

'No! I thought I fucking got rid of you with MLP!'

'You really thought that show was gonna shut me up? I'm not a kid Rimu.'

'YOU ARE YOU NUMBNUTS!'

Before Chara could retort, the bear suddenly appeared behind me and swung it's claws, hitting my back.

3/100

*Lucky escape! Damage reduced by 99.99%!*

'Holy fucking shit I'm about to die,'

'I could see that clearly,'

'Why the fuck are you so fucking calm?'

'Am I the down getting obliterated by a oversized constellation?'

'IF I DIE YOU FUCKING DIE TOO YOU FUCKING TWAT!'

'Eh, it's still funny.'

'DISMANTLE!'
'DISMANTLE!'
'DISMANTLE!'

A volley of slashes cut up the ursa major, blood was pretty much just flowing out of it like a river.

9900/10000

'WHY THE FUCK DOES IT DEAL SO LITTLE DAMAGE?!'

'Its because, even if it's bleeding to death, your ability makes this battle act like a game battle, your damage is pitiful.'

'WELL CAN YOU DISABLE THE LIMITERS?!'

'Dont know how to, don't care to learn how to,'

The bear charged forward at lightning speeds, barely missing it's attack as I jumped over it's claws.

'CLEAVE!'

9300/10000

'CLEAVE!'
'CLEAVE!'
'CLEAVE!'

8700/10000
8400/10000
8100/10000

*WARNING! OVERUSE OF CURSED ENERGY! 50% HP WILL BE DEDUCTED!*

'Gh!'

1.5/100

I tumbled across the gigantic bear's fluffy back as I struggled to regain my footing as everything started to get blurrier and blurrier.

I snapped out of my haze and steeled myself. I chomped down on the bears back with my strangely sharp teeth and tore off a piece of it's flesh.

'Hm~ tangy with a tinge of citrus'

'You're clinically insane,'

8099/10000

2/100

I back flipped off the bear's back and screamed out to the bear, "HEY CHUCKLENUTS! THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO-"

The bear cut me off with a sudden round house kick hitting me square in the chest.

'IT CAN KICK?!'

*LUCKY SAVE! 99.99% DAMAGE HAS BEEN DEDUCTED!*

1/100

The bear was now on top of my body, salivating heavily.

'Fortune favors the fucking bold!'

"RYOIKI TENKAI!"

"FUTUMA MIZUSHI!"

*SMACK!*

The ursa major was smacked by the rather fast blur of the boney shrine. The bear did summersaults in the air and hit it's head on the very same tree I hit a minute ago.

7800/10000

"■ FUGA!"

*WARNING OVERUSE OF CURSED ENERGY-*

A pillar of flame erupted up from my hooves and I contorted the very flame to use as a bow and arrow. Without hesitation I shot the arrow towards the now charging ursa major.

7000/10000
6900/10000
6800/10000
6700/10000
6600/10000
6500/10000

Before I could do anymore damage I felt a sudden throbbing pain in my chest. I slowly looked at my chest with a horrified expression plastered on my face.

There was a claw in my chest.

'Well. I had a good run,'

0/100

YOU HAVE DIED!

The dark murky flowing dome finally let up as I ran towards the forest. Only one pony could do that move, and I did not like that it seemingly stopped before it disappeared.

I galloped as fast as I could as I remembered Trixie's words echo in my head,

"Trixie will go out for a walk for a bit, I feel like a have a headache."

I swear to Celestia Trixie, if you get hurt, a headache is gonna be the least of your worries.

TEN MINUTES BEFORE

"Help! Somepony!" A mare shouted as she carried a bear on her back, "Somepony is fighting an ursa major!"

Starlight stopped her frantic searching of Trixie as she heard the shouts, a very tired Mr. Mayor behind her, almost dying from exhaustion.

"WHO'S FIGHTING THE URSA MAJOR?" Starlight grabbed the mare and shook her with excessive force, Mr. Mayor put a hoof on her shoulder and shouted.

"MS. GLIMMER! Please stop shaking my friend," Starlight looked over to Mr. Mayor with a confused expression.

"You mean the same friend who angered the ursa major?" Starlight asked. Mr. Mayor nodded quickly.

Before any of them could say anything, a sudden gust of wind grabbed their attention. A black murky flowing dome covered a part of the forest near them.

"The same ursa major... That Trixie is currently fighting against..." Mr. Mayor nodded, a lot slower this time.

Starlight took in deep and sophisticated breathes. In and out. In and ou- Oh fuck this.

Starlight grabbed the mare again and shook her with twice more force as she did before, "WHERE IS TRIXIE?!"

"She's at the middle of lush forest!" The mare was now drooling blood on Starlight's coat due to her shaking. Before Starlight could ask more questions a sudden paw was put on one of her hoofs.

Starlight looked towards the paw and saw a little purple, translucent bear with stars. Starlight froze for a second. And a second more. And a minute.

"And... You brought... It's... CUB?!?!?!"

"Now calm down Ms. Glimmer-" Mr. Mayor tried to say but was cut off with a glare from Starlight.

"Now how would I be calm when an ursa major is currently killing one of my friends!?" Starlight picked the mare up with her magic along with the cub and put them right in Mr. Mayor's face, "While this mare has it's CUB!"

"She- she was still alive when I last saw her-" The mare tried to say.

"WHEN YOU LAST SAW HER! THAT'S THE IMPORTANT DETAIL! WHEN. YOU. LAST. SAW. HERRRRRRR!" Starlight was now going into a panic mode that's unique to very smart people, the panic mode is nicknamed the 'Twilight mode' due to the uh... Similarities to Twilight when she panics.

Guess all smart people are the same when they panic. Ahem.

Starlight was pacing around in circles infront of the almost dead mare and muttering something about 'how to revive the dead'. Mr. Mayor could only sigh and stretched a hoof out to his friend that was now laying on her stomach with her tongue out.

"Let me help you up Health pack," Mr. Mayor said while sighing.

"Please do..." Health pack replied while closing her eyes. She grabbed onto Mr. Mayor's hoof and pulled herself up. Now opening her eyes, she looked at the flailing Starlight with a concerned expression. Starlight was shouting profanities at the stars while spinning in circles.

"Is she... Okay?" Health pack asked.

"Well... In her eyes, her friend got herself killed by an ursa major to save you and you brought it's cub, and the ursa major is gonna come here, kill of us, and her friends sacrifice will be in vain." Mr. Mayor explained while cleaning his dirty glasses. He forgot to put them on this morning.

Health pack looked on with guilt as she processed what her friend just told her, "So... She thinks her friend is dead?"

"Well, nopony ever survived an ursa major attack in one piece, so she has a right to assume that." Mr. Mayor put on his glasses and corrected it only a few moments after.

"But the last I saw of her friend, she was holding her own against the ursa major!" Health pack said with confusion.

"Even the weakest of creatures can go hoof to hoof with an ursa major even if it's only for a second,"

Health pack was holding her tears as she finally finished processing the situation. Before she could say something, a sudden pillar of flame reached out towards the heavens. The flame was from the black dome from the forest. All three of them was left in shock at the size of the pillar.

Starlight however smiled after the shock wore off and grabbed the very bored bear cub off Health pack's back and galloped off towards the pillar, "I NEED TO BORROW THIS LITTLE GUY! I'LL GIVE THEM BACK TO THE URSA MAJOR SO WE ALL DON'T DIE!" Starlight said while giggling like a maniac.

"... You think she's alright in the head?" Health pack asked the emotionless Mayor.

"Nope,"

'So... He's dead.'

'Maybe I should've actually helped hi-'

A sudden blast was heard from behind Chara in Rimu's mindscape, she turned around to see what made the blast and she saw two figures running at full speeds towards her.

One was bipedal, had red hair and what looked like tattoos on his face, the other one was much like Rimu's pony form but without the holes and with a lot less color. Both blitzed Chara and tackled her to the 'ground'.

Hey what gives?

What gives is that you need to remove Rimu's limiters!

Or I will kill you,

I'm already dead you bafoon, Rimu is too.

Both of them wore a shocked expression on their face.

You fucking with me?

Chara only shook her head with her eyes closed.

I'm gonna do unspeakable crimes to you.

Hold on! Hold on! Chara sat back up and put one of her hands on both of their faces.

I may have a plan to revive Rimu,

...

You fucking with me?

Chara shook her head again.

Tell. Me. The. Plan.

Fine! Fine! Sheeesh, Chara pulled out a hologram of Rimu's unconscious body out of her pocket and put it down on the ground with a little pat.

Okay, so right now this is what Rimu looks like

Infront of them the hologram showed a very much dead and mangled corpse of Rimu, laying flat on his stomach. His stomach and other organs laid besides him on the ground.

I would say I'm gonna throw up but I've done much worse and seen much worse

I think I'm gonna be sick...

Chara pulled out a trash can out of nowhere and handed it to the stallion, the stallion happily took it and barfed rainbows into the trash can.

Dude your a tyrant how are you puking at this?

I'm not a tyrant dumbass! That's my main timeline counterpart!

Can we focus please?

Both of them stopped their argument and stated at Chara attentively.

So here's the plan.

First, we need to 'wake up' Rimu. We can do that by jolting his soul and making it where Zero can actually 'revive' him.

After that we need to take control of his body since it's so mangled. If Rimu tries to control his body like with the Hydra, he's gonna fuck up and die again.

Third, and most importantly. We need to kill the ursa major.

Good plan and all, but how can we trust you?

Yeah! Since you're the fucking one who got him killed!

Chara played with her thumbs in embarrassment.

Well I was just gonna force him to say he loves me to fuck with him and have him use my power but.....

He didn't want to?

Well more like he didn't know that he was supposed to do that.

Chara looked rather sheepish with her explanation.

So you're telling me, that you got him KILLED,

Chara nodded.

So he can confess his feelings that may or may not exist?

It was supposed to be a prank okay? His younger self would immediately say that so I figured to tease him a bit and make him say it again!

A shitty prank by the looks of it,

Oh shut it walmart kuruma,

Hey wait weren't the other's just behind us?

Chara and Cursed looked at Sombra with confusion.

Then why aren't they here?

There's fucking more of you?

Before Sombra could reply to the both of them, another sudden explosion rang out from behind the three of them.

YEEHAW!

COMING THROUGH!

WHERE'S THE EVIL VILLIAN? Gasp! She's right there!

Oh my mane! My beautiful mane just ruined!

Um... Excuse me...

WHERE'S THE PONY WHO DISABLED US?

AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO RIMU?

And can I have some aspirin?

*BONK!*

Ow! What gives?

You we're supposed to do a cool speech like us!

Oh. Ahem.

AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PORN STASH?

*Facepalm*

A whole herd of ponies broke through the smoke left by the explosion. Cursed and Sombra looked on with confusion while Chara looked utterly horrified.

Holy shit why is there so many of you?

Magic

Oh fuck off connor McGregor with tattoos on his face

Chara was suddenly tackled to the ground by six ponies, the other two was arguing on good speeches, and I mean argue I meant a one sided beatdown.

WHERE IS RIMU?

YEAH! AND IF YOU DON'T ANSWER IN A SECOND I'LL RIP YOUR TITS OFF!

Dash, that ain't appropriate and mighty rude.

SHE ALMOST GOT RIMU KILLED!

Still darling, we need to compose out selves,

Aughhhhhhhhhhhhh

This was gonna be loooooooooong 'day' for Chara. Man, she only wanted to fuck with Rimu, now she's getting dog piled by eight mares with powers.

Well... Time for a little more explaining.

Starlight galloped faster and faster, not letting the ache in her legs affect her running speed. The ursa cub was on her back grabbing on for dear life as she ran.

After running for what felt like years, Starlight came across a large clearing in the middle of the forest. She looked around the area with caution, as she did she suddenly felt a large gust wind above her. As she looked up, she could only look on with horror at what she saw.

Trixie's very much dead body was flying through the air as a ursa major jumped towards the body, almost treating it like a toy.

"I'm... Gonna... Be... Si-" Starlight tried to say but she stooped. Putting down the cub that she had on her back, she ran towards a nearby bush and vomited her breakfast, lunch, yesterday's dinner, you know the drill.

After a few painful moments, Starlight came back looking disheveled and grabbed the very bored ursa cub and placed them on her back without a word. Starlight looked on to the Ursa major infront of her that was currently mauling the remains of her friend.

"Well... That's... Sad." Starlight slowly backed away from the ursa major. She decided that handing over the ursa cub to the ursa major would be a bad idea. While backing up, Starlight accidentally stepped on a branch and...

*Crack!*

The ursa major turned it's head towards Starlight, a certain glint in it's eyes.

"Oh you have to be kidding me," Starlight put up as many shields as she could as she saw the ursa major charge towards her at full speeds, she braced for the impact, but it never came. She opened her eyes and was very confused at what she saw.

She saw multiple blue pegasi holding the ursa's arm. After a closer look, she found out that none of the pegasi where real, all of them were illusions, but illusions couldn't hold back an ursa major, right?

The ursa major struggled to gain an inch of ground as the pegasi seemingly stuck to it like glue. It was growling at Starlight and the cub on her back.

"E R A S E,"

Starlight was stunned at the sudden voice behind the ursa, but she was even more stunned at what happened to said ursa major.

Half of it's body was seemingly erased, blood was nowhere to be found as she saw the innards of the ursa. In a blink of an eye, the ursa's missing half suddenly appeared.

She tried to speak but was interrupted by another voice, this time behind her.

"Don't panic! We're here to help!"

She slowly turned her head to see a cyan pegasus mare with a rainbow mane smiling at her.

"Who... Who are-"

"That's not important sugarcube," An orange earth pony mare said besides the cyan one, "Remember dash, she's ah friend of Ri- Trixie, so treat her with some respect please?"

"I am treating her with respect! She just looks like she saw a ghost!"

"She technically did," Another voice said besides them. Starlight looked towards the new voice and examined the mare. The mare was very similar to her, both had some shade of purple in their coat, both had a very dark indigo in their mane and both had blue accent to accompany the indigo. The only difference was this mare's hair is straight, while her's was curly.

"Why is she looking at me like that?" The purple mare whispered to the cyan pegasus.

"Twilight, you do know you do that too right? You do the exact same thing Starlight is doing right now when you meet a new pony," Dash replied to Twilight, or she thinks so anyways, she doesn't know their names fully.

All four of them heard a growl, they turned around to the ursa major, now only a mere feet infront of them.

"Uh, Dash? I thought yah said Chara's constructs could hold 'em for a bit using your power?" The orange mare said to Dash.

"Well that's what she did say- Wait, horseapples! Applejack, we need to check up on Chara!" Dash said go Applejack. Starlight is confused, very confused right now. Who are these mare's? Who's Chara? And why do they know Trixie?

"Aw shucks! Horseapples, Twi!" Applejack shouted to Twilight.

"Yeah AJ?"

"We just left Chara all alone, with no pony to look at her!"

"Yeah...?"

"SHE HAS CONTROL OF TRIXIE'S BODY TWI!"

"Still don't know what you mean-" Twilight was cut off by sudden thump off into the distance. All of them looked over to the source of the noise and saw the ursa major laying down on it's back three miles away from them. Before any of them could say anything, a sudden fit of laughter was heard at their side.

"BWAHAHAHAHA! THIS BODY'S AWESOME! COME ON! STAND UP BEAR! FIGHT ME AGAIN!" Trixie said while holding a knife and licking it, "I need a taste of Lv after all these years!"

Trixie suddenly, without warning rushed towards the dazed bear in the distance. Twilight hung her mouth open as Dash and Applejack looked at her with a glare that says: 'Told you'.

"... Okay I get what you mean now,"

"Oh now you get it?" A stallion appeared behind them holding a plastic cup and a popcorn bag with his magic, "Should've listened to me when I asked to watch over her, but nooooo, she's good now! She won't cause trouble!"

"ERASE!"

Starlight was looking at the four of them with utter confusion. Where did that stallion come from? And why does he have a popcorn bag? Before she could ask however, the cyan pegasus spoke up.

"Okay, we need to deal with Chara now, just amazing!" Dash starts to stretch her wings and let out a slight moan as she did, "Hey Starlight?"

"I-huh-uh- yeah?"

"When this is done, take care fo Trixie, okay? She's... important to all of me... And my friends, and don't try any funny business with him okay! We will know!"

"What Rainbow here means, is that she likes Trixie so don't have sex with him. Now, tata!" The stallion started to push Rainbow dash away using his magic.

"HEY WHAT?! NO I DON'T - NO I- I DON'T LIKE HIM!" Rainbow went crimson while trying to explain herself, and also trying to fly away from the stallion's magic.

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that Dashie, ain't gonna help your bubbling feelings for the dork,"

Rainbow dash shouted profanities at the dark stallion, the stallion using silence magic so she would shut up.

"We really need to get goin', Starlight we're sorry but yah' on yah' own for now," Applejack said while a guilty look on her face.

"Yeah, We kinda royally bucked up so see ya! Oh and Rainbow's right, Trixie's important to all of us, very important. And even more important to Rainbow, take care of him will you?" Twilight said while slowly trotting off behind Applejack. Both of them suddenly galloped as they tried to catch up to the smaller and smaller black and blue dot, who's trying to catch up to a small purple dot and an even smaller black dot.

"... What the buck just happened?"

Author's Note

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE'S HUGE WTF? Anyways, cool facts time!

Here, Chara seems to be in control of Rimu's body instead of what happened to Cursed where he got controlled instead, not Rimu.

My explanation is that a lot of factors happened. One of them being that Rimu is fucking dead.

Another reason why this happened is actually a little more complex. Rimu's 'alive' in another part of his mindscape. The Chara here isn't exactly Chara per say. It's more like if Chara had the bombastic personality of Rimu and his absurdness to top it off too.

Also, most of you are probably wondering: wait how is Twilight, Rainbow dash, Sombra, and Applejack here with Starlight? I'll explain it in more detail next chapter but the rundown is this.

Chara, in exchange for controlling Rimu, agreed to let the four of them accompany her to the outside world. After she wakes up and get's her powers, she made four clones of Rimu, and changed those clones to fit the four of them.

While yes, they are in Rimu's body's clones, they still have the relatively same amount of magic that they had before they got transferred into Rimu's mind. Well, except for Sombra and Twilight of course. Both of them got their most of their magic locked behind the Elements skill so suck for them.

9 [Part3-3]

Seconds time's the charm?

Author

6000/10000

50/100

Name: CHARA (Trixie)
Age: 5.5 days (14)
Gender: Female (male)
Level: 20
Skills:
Best hoof skills! (Lv: MAX)
OVERDRIVE! (Lv: 1)
Basic magic (Lv: 2)
Pinkie stash!
Elements (Locked)
Annoyance
Cursed energy: king variation (level 5)
DETERMINATION (WARNING! POTENTIALLY FATAL!)
Games eye (Lv: 1)
LV meter: TypicalHighNumberHere%

Status: Dead (technically)

"Erase!"

"Chara stop please for the love of all that is good!" Sombra was on top of Chara's back, pinning her the ground.

"LET ME AT THE FUCKER! I JUST WANT TO TALK!"

"Talk my flank! You've deleted a square mile of the forest with your shit!"

Chara was barking and growling like a dog at the tied up ursa major. Twilight, Aj, and Rainbow dash was on top of the bear, just watching Chara with concern.

"You think she has rabies?"

"RAINBOW!" Twilight shouted at the cyan pegasus.

"I was just asking..."

Applejack only scoffed at her friend's quip, "That's mighty rude RD, shucks, I might just buck you off if you keep talking like that to our friend,"

"I was-"

The bear growled at the mare's that was above it. The bear was trying to escape it's confinement for the last 10 minutes, failing spectacularly.

"Oh shut it teddy! We were talking here!"

The bear only grew more outraged at Rainbow's mockery of it. Rainbow rolled her eyes and went back to arguing with her friend.

The system has deemed this scenario as unfit for this type of ending. Ending has been deemed too "unsatisfactory".

Commencing protocol: "Shaking things up" in three.

Two.

One.

SWOOOOOSHHHHH!!!!

The bear felt a surge of power envelope it's entire being. It's eyes rolled towards the back of it's head as it's mind started to collapse under the power.

6000/10000

10000/10000

The bear spasmed, foam coming out of it's mouth. The five mare's looked on with confusion as the bear started to float into the air.

"What the fuck is happening?" Sombra said, slightly peeved that the narrator forgot he existed.

The three mare's that stood on the ursa major quickly jumped off and looked with fright at what they saw. The ursa major broke out of it's restraints, it's eyes darkened to cyan color, it's claws adorned with a magical glow and it's back sprouting dark tree's that didn't remotely belong there.

"Oh you got to be fucking with me, second phase?"

"Second wha-"

System has detected the use of a skill that is not in the user's arsenal. Quickly cancelling the spell.

Four of the ponies that stood right next to Chara only a moment ago disappeared.

'What in the hay just happened?'

"I don't-"

System has detected that the user is under mind control. System removing the affliction.

Chara suddenly felt a drill penetrate her skull as she wailed in pain. She could feel her soul getting forcefully ripped out of Rimu's body and back to his mindscape.

"GOD DAMMIT! I WASN'T EVEN OUT FOR AN HOUR!"

With a last scream, Chara finally relented and went back to the mindscape, finally stopping the unbelievable pain.

Detected that one or more skill's has been forcefully limited, removing limiters.

Detected that user is in a comatose state, enabling shock therapy in,

Three.

Two.

One.

'Wait shock therapy isn't used for comatose patients-'

*B U Z Z Z Z Z Z*

Rimu's body suddenly spasmed for a split second, his head almost falling to the ground with a thud.

"*Chk-!* BLEUGH! WHERE'S AM I?! WHO AM I?!"

Ri- Trixie flailed her hooves as she processed what was happening.

"WHY CAN'T I SEE!"

Detecting distress. Finding out what caused distress in user.
...
...
...

Blindness detected. Why is blindness causing distress.
...
...
...

Common fear amongst creatures. Fixing blindness.

With another spasm, Trixie coughed out blood as she tried to regain her balance.

"*Chk-!* Fuu- *Ack-!*"

Trixie was sent flying by a gutteral punch courtesy of the ursa major. Blood seemingly gushed out of Trixie's every hole in her face as she hit another tree.

1/100

Current scenario is satisfactory. Ending will continue.

"Trixie?!" Starlight exclaimed as she saw her friend hit the nearby tree. She glanced over to the ursa major only to find it right at her face with a grin plastered onto it's face. The bear suddenly screamed in pain as a object hit it's side, sending it barreling down the not-so steep hill.

9000/10000

"Starlight?! What they hay are you doing here?" Trixie asked while panting from her headbutt.

"That's my question for you! What in Equestria were you thinking?!" Starlight exclaimed with worry in her eyes.

"Trixie was thinking of not putting you in danger!" Trixie shouted at Starlight.

"But- I- You could've asked me to help! You and I know both of us-"

"DUCK YOU IDIOT!" Trixie shouted at Starlight. Before she could react Trixie tackled her to the ground, a boulder narrowly missing the both of them.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Starlight yelled at the top of her pony lungs.

"You'd think after all of this you would just stop questioning what happens," Trixie said with a amused smile.

"This only happens to YOU!" Starlight retorted. Trixie huffed in response, knowing that Starlight was right.

"Boo hoo Ms. IHaveMagic, cry me a- DODGE!" Trixie shouted before ducking for cover. Starlight however was frozen in confusion, snapping out of it when Trixie yanked her tail, causing her to yelp.

"Eep!" Starlight yelped, before a tree landed with a crash at her original position.

"Starlight! For once in your insecurity filled life pay attention!" Trixie yelled.

"I almost died I almost died I almost died I almost -" Trixie looked on with an annoyed expression as Starlight mumbled a single sentence over and over again like a traumatized ww2 veteran watching 'Saving private Ryan' for the first time and remembering all the lives that got extinguished as they watched in horror.

"Sheeesh, a tree caused her to have a mental break down but the ursa Major? Noooooo, I can take it on," Trixie mumbled. "time to use the 100% guaranteed way to snap a veteran out from his flashback, (Don't actually try this on your grandpa)"

"I'm going to die I'm going to dieImgoingtodieImgoingtodie-" Starlight mumbled, slowly lowering herself and transitioning into the patented Caterpillar position.

As Starlight closed her eyes, she could feel a weight press onto her back and on her head. Slowly opening her eyes she saw nothing at first, then she looked up.

"Boo!"

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Starlight screamed out in fear, frantically swinging her hooves around.

"And That'd be 314 bits please and pull up at the window," Trixie said with a smug smile.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"14 seconds... 15... 16... 17..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"23... 24... 25..."

"*WHEEZE*"

"And 30- Hey! You finally stopped screaming," Trixie smiled at he saw Starlight gasping for breath. Her smile however turned into a nervous one as Starlight glared into his soul.

"What is WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"A lot of things, but first of all we need to talk about a few itsy bitsy details Star" Trixie pulled Starlight closer to herself just as clump of a mountain flew by Starlight, again. "First, please remember to leave your panic attacks at Gravel mane. Second please remember that you, are in fact, in a battlefield right now. Third,"

Trixie grabbed Starlight's horn with her mouth and tossed her on his back, galloping.

"This is the most important detail," Trixie said while he galloped, "please remember that you have magic, because if you compare me to a earth foal in terms of magical prowess, the foal wins."

"And why is that important?!" Starlight yelled into Trixie's ears.

"Because if we want to take that abomination of a bear down," Trixie points a imaginary hoof at the ursa thay is currently barreling towards them, "I need your magic,"

"You have a horn!"

"Wow Sherlock Holmes didn't know you existed in pony!" Trixie sarcastically remarked.

"Answer my question!"

"I already answered it seven lines of text ago!"

"WHAT ARE TALKING ABOUT?!" Starlight exclaimed, confused.

"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE PLAN OR NOT?"

"Fine! Just tell me your plan!" Starlight relented.

"Here's the plan-"

Pov: Sunset Shimmer
"Hmmm~ five more minutes..."

"WHAAAT?!"

"... Ten more minutes."

Back to the fight

"THAT IS A HORRIBLE PLAN!" Starlight yelled at Trixie, who was now flying through the air.

"THEN MAKE A BETTER ONE I FUCKING DARE YOU," Trixie exclaimed, while dodging the collosal ursa.

"FINE! WE'LL GO WITH YOUR STUPID PLAN!" Starlight said, throwing caution to the wind.

And her life.

"SO YOU READY OR WHAT?" Trixie yelled as she landed at the ground with a thud, causing Starlight to slide off of her back.

"Yeahyeah just uh... Pleasedontletmedieplease?" Starlight said quickly while scrambling to her feet.

"That's my plan!" Trixie said, while flying off.

'Okay Starlight, just follow the plan. Wait for the signal, just wait for the signal and do your part. It isn't hard, just pay attention and do your part. Don't think about anything else, don't think about how you failed everything important up until now, don't think about how you failed Sunburst. Just focus. On. The. Plan.' Starlight slapped herself on the cheek and waited anxiously for Trixie's signal. 'Lets do this.'

* * * * :trixieshiftright: * * * *

Trixie flapped her wings at a mile a second as she rehearsed their plan. On the inside, Trixie forced her brain to go into overtime and actually do something for once.

'Brain don't fail me now! You always make okay decisions so better up your game a notch or I won't be able to eat delicious red meat!' Trixie's mind then filled with meat, specifically Starlight.

nice transition I know hehe

'Starlight's essential to this plan. Without her this plan would be nada and I would be in the afterlife, AGAIN!' Trixie couldn't help but smile at the prospect of planning and the life-and-death aspect of the plan. A very... Creepy smile.

'I wonder what ursa blood tastes like!' Trixie shook his head and looked towards the ursa infront of her.

"Hey you big oversized CGI monster!" The ursa pointed a claw at itself it confusion, "Yes you! Did you know that in terms of human and pokemon breeding-"

Before Trixie could finish the dreaded spell, the ursa suddenly swiped it's massive claw towards him. "Sweet that worked!"

"Can't catch me! Can't catch me! Can't- OOH! That was close," Trixie chanted, before she was interrupted by another swipe. "You could've killed me with that!"

The bear looked at Trixie with a deadpan expression.

"Not a comedian huh?" Trixie asked, the bear only swiping in response.

"You know what?" Trixie stopped in mid air and put her hoof inside of her mane, reaching for something. "I knew it would be here!"

Trixie retracted her hoof from her mane to reveal a bottle of anti-bear spray, making a certain jingle as she did.

"Convenient item! A classic!" Said Trixie, "I have the power!" Waving the spray around, Trixie laughed and taunted the ursa. In retaliation, the ursa slapped Trixie down to the ground, the spray getting lost in the commotion.

"My... Secret weapon...!"

1/100

'Starlight and shield spell baby, first step of the plan done.' Trixie picked herself up and prepared step two of their plan. 'How did I topple a 500ft behemoth like that earlier? Do I have super strength or something?'

No you do not

'I forgot you existed wow,'

Picking herself up, Trixie readjusted her wings with a *Crack* and a *pop*, 'Time to hope that Starlight is finished with her preparations,'

Picking up a rock and tossing it upwards, Trixie punched the rock making it rocket towards the ursa. With the smallest of *clinks* the rock collided with the thick skin of the ursa and grabbed it's attention. And I mean it when I said it grabbed the ursa's attention.

"Aw shit," Trixie mumbled, "maybe this was a bad plan." He gulped down loudly as the ursa spun around at impossible speeds and locked eyes with her.

The both of them stood still, not moving a muscle. With a weak grin Trixie nervously chuckled, "Whoops?"

The ursa responded to Trixie with calm, not totally terrifying-

ROAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

Starlight mentally prepared herself as she saw Trixie getting swatted down in the air. Thankfully her shield spell was one of the best there is, so she didn't had to worry about Trixie dying. At least not yet.

'Stupid plan made by a stupid pony, but for some reason the things she said are coming true,' Starlight exhaled a deep breath and sat down.

'Any minute now I'll hear the signal she was talking about,'

ROAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

'And I'll bet my whole tush that's the signal' Starlight quickly stood up and looked towards the direction where Trixie was screaming her lungs out.

"I DON'T WANNA DIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED!" Trixie screamed out.

'... I might lose my tush'

Trixie galloped in Starlight's direction with wide eyes, pupils smaller than small. Starlight was now also wide eyed as she saw the gigantic ursa major running towards the both of them, causing a magnitude 7.8 earthquake with every step.

"STARLIGHT DO THE THING!" Trixie shouted at Starlight.

"RIGHT NOW?!" Starlight exclaimed.

"FUCKING YES RIGHT NOW!" Trixie answered back. Starlight's horn started to glow as she constructed a shield around Trixie,

"HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT'RE YOU DOING!" Starlight shouted.

"DON'T WORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" Trixie shouted with a smile.

Starlight absently nodded as she got ready to enact Trixie's plan, her horn glowing brighter and brighter. Then she processed what Trixie said.

"WAIT WHAT-" Before she could finish her sentence, her spell already went off causing Trixie to be flung towards the ursa major at alarming speeds.

"TRIXIE!" Starlight exclaimed.

* * * * :trixieshiftleft: * * * *

Trixie watched with excitement as she started to get closer and closer to the ursa, her horn lighting up as her smile grew unnaturally large.

"Let's fucking do this you oversized snorlax wannabe!" She said as a line of magical energy shot through her horn and through the shield, attaching itself the ursa major.

She grinned as the magical line that could be described as a rope because I'm too lazy to call it a magical line attached itself to the ursa with a satisfying sound. Her grin getting larger as she started to gallop inside the shield ball like a hamster, causing the shield bubble to move.

"DISMANTLE!" Trixie shouted. The ursa being inflicted with cuts soon after.

8800/10000

As she started to get closer and closer to the ursa she rammed into the shield, causing it to suddenly collide with the ursa with thud.

8750/10000

As she collided with the ursa, she shouted out "CLEAVE!" and causing the ursa to tumble back a step as a slash appeared at it's stomach.

8000/10000

"FUGA! ■"

6500/10000

A pillar of fire engulfed the ursa as Trixie launched the fire arrow. The ursa screamed out in pain and Trixie quickly chanted his next attack.

This attack would be Trixie's decisive attack, one that would finally finish off the ursa that more resembled a cockroach than a bear.

"SCALE OF THE DRAGON!"

*CHING!*

"RECOIL!"

*CHING!*

"TWIN METEORS!"

*BLIP!*

ROAAAAARRRRRRRRR!

The ursa roared out in pain as the attack hit, it getting cut in half. Trixie sighed a sigh of relief as she looked towards the falling image of the ursa.

Then she felt her heart ache.

Warning! Due to heavy strain on your body, in approximately 90 seconds your heart will stop! Warning!

"*Cough!*

0/100

'Cmon! Cmon! There's has got to be a 'unless' coming in that message!'

There is no continuation to the warning message.

Trixie's blood ran cold as she tumbled back inside the shield bubble, causing it shatter to pieces.

This is it She thought, This is where I actually die, A tear ran on her cheek, At least the ursa died before me-

As she fell through the pieces of the barrier, she stared as the ursa slowly regenerated it's body. She stared in horror as a message popped up infront of her eyes.

A simple message.

92/10000

"No..." She whispered.

The ursa slowly stood up, flesh still being regenerated.

"You can't do this to me..."

The ursa stared at Trixie's direction and smiled.

"Cheeky fucker," She said, before finally hitting the ground.

60 seconds

Starlight watched in horror as Trixie fell out from the sky, the bubble around her collapsing. She rushed over to Trixie's landing area, that is, until she saw the ursa move.

Her blood ran cold as the ursa slowly stood up, it's action causing rumbles on the ground. She was snapped out of her fear induced psychosis as Trixie hit the ground with a barely audible noise.

"TRIXIE!" She yelled as she galloped towards the unmoving Trixie, "CELESTIA DAMMIT TRIXIE!"

"Star... Light...?" Trixie weakly whispered.

"I'm here, im here" Starlight stopped at Trixie's body and pulled out a first-aid kit from out of nowhere. "Hold steady, I'm gonna try and heal you-"

"Don't... Bother..."

"What." Starlight was shocked by Trixie's words. Don't bother?

"Already... Dying..." Trixie whispered, "40... Seconds... Heart... Stop..."

"Don't say that! I can still-"

"Run... Quickly..." Trixie cut her off mid sentence.

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Starlight slapped Trixie hard, causing the changeling to cough out blood, "I can still save you!"

"... Starlight..." Trixie whispered at her, "last... Request..."

"Don't say that's your last request you-"

"Teleport... Me... Up"

"No."

"Just... Do it!" Trixie said, gritting her teeth.

Starlight was conflicted, she knew that the ursa would likely kill the both of us before she could heal Trixie, but she couldn't let Trixie die, or even do this crazy stunt!

"STARLIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA TELEPORT ME UP IN THE SKY BEFORE I DIE!" Trixie shouted as hard as she could, causing Starlight to jump.

"But-"

"JUST DO IT!"

"... Fine" Starlight relented as she lit her horn up. Trixie's eyes were full of determination and concentration as she did breathing exercises, "... Don't die you... Fucking... Idi...ot.." Starlight chocked out between sobs.

"No promises hon."

With a flash of light, Trixie disappeared with a pop. Starlight only looked at Trixie's crater as she sobbed heavily.

"Fucking.... Idiot..."

* * * * :trixieshiftright: * * * *

*1st person*

I opened my eyes as Starlight's spell activated, sending me just above the clouds.

The sun was setting as I gazed upon it's beauty. Funny, I couldn't remember it being this late.

20 seconds

I looked down towards the ground, through a hole in a cloud. The ursa standing tall and mighty as it stood up victoriously.

I chuckled as I remembered a saying back on earth.

The bigger they are, the harder the fall.

15 seconds.

My horn lit up as I started my descent towards the ground, my body heating up and causing me to spontaneously combust.

My wings flared as I threw my hoof back, readying a punch.

10 seconds

Smoke erupted from my hoof all the way to my leg, covering both of then entirely. As my vision started to blur I could've sworn I saw an arm through the smoke.

5 seconds

No more references, no more borrowing villain's powers, no more funny business, I thought to myself as my vision started to darken, No, this time, this time I'm gonna hit them with my own move, one I made myself.

Three. Seconds.

I smiled as I felt my mane and wings disintegrated in flames, blood trickling up my cheek.

I inhaled one last breath and decided to go out with a bang. One, very cool bang.

Two

"THROUGHOUT THE GRASSY MEADOWS IN SOUTH!

THROUGH THE BLIZZARDS OF TARTARUS IN THE NORTH!

THROUGH THE BADLANDS OF THE EAST AND THE MOUNTAINS OF THE WEST!

I AM THE GUARDIAN OF GOOD!

THE SPREADER OF EVIL!

THE AGENT OF CHAOS!

THE WORKER OF HARMONY!

YOU SHALL FEAR MY NAME!

YOU SHALL FIND COMFORT IN MY NAME!

BECAUSE I AM

THE GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT TRIXIE!"

One

"SPELL CAST!

STARLIGHT!"

*CRASHHHHH!*

Dead/@#&_#!@*

Zero.

Thank you for participating in the reincarnation program of system.inc, you are the first and the only participant to use this program. We thank you for your support of the system. You shall now rest in peace, as you originally should.

Thank you, Rimu.

Achievement unlocked: Constellation prize

Season 1's ending will be at the end of june, thank you for your support.

More information about Season 2 at chapter 10: S1 end.

Thank you.

(And yes S2 and onwards will be on this fanfiction, it will not transfer to another page.)

Author's Note

Hey, I know I wasn't that active in the recent months, life and laziness finally got a hold of me.

Anyways, quick reminder for the scheduled this month:

1st week: Hey Sombra! (done)

2nd week: Are changelings ants (done)

Next week: New story

Final week of june: Are changelings ants, Season 1 ending.

Any criticism will be read and thanked for, as it is greatly appreciated.

Remember, fun is my objective. Fun for you, and fun for me.

Thank you.

Thank you so very much reader.

10 [S1END]

Author's Note

This chapter basically just ties up some loose knots and prepares S2. It follows 4 POVs. So yeah, Rimu's fate still unknown. Wonder what happened to him?

You're the fucking author tf u mean 'I wonder what happened to him?'?!

Edit: Im 4000 words in and I want to jump off a comically small bridge.

10 [S1END]

Third's times the charm

[That one Ursa cub]

A bear cub slowly waddled it's way towards it's destination, it's mind filled with curiosity. Curiosity to what you may ask? A giant explosion maybe, just a guess.

After some time, the cub finally exited the dense forest and entered a meadow. Looking around, the cub spotted a figure in the distance. The figure was a pony, specifically a unicorn mare. Her coat was a light purple and her mane was curly with a noticable blue streak running down it.

The cub slowly made it's way towards the mare, making sure to be as silent as the wind. Before the cub could reach the mare, it noticed the mare lay down and started to bash her head on the soft dirt.

'Ponies are weird' The cub probably thought as he finally reached the mare.

[3rd person POV]

Starlight stood there, her face emotionless as the ursa major disintegrated before her eyes.

Normally she would be elated to see a fearsome and dangerous beast being struck down, maybe she could even research more about the creature.

Not this time. This time was different.

In the total of three days, Starlight grew to find friendship in Trixie. Sure, she may be annoying at times...

Scratch that, she was annoying everytime.

But she was fun. Fun to be around. Maybe even a companion.

That thought was crushed and thrown away as Trixie fought the ursa. She didn't see Trixie as a companion anymore, no. She saw Trixie more than a companion, a friend.

Friend is a heavy topic for Starlight, friendship even more so. What even signifies a friend? Their willingness to help you? Maybe.

Trixie was cunning, stupidly so. Her plan was unconventional and unsafe, but it minimized the potential damage to Starlight. A single tear flowed through on Starlight's cheek. Trixie had cared for her. Cared enough at least to not let Starlight to be killed.

Starlight looked towards the crater. Trixie was nowhere in sight.

Starlight saw Trixie's last attack on the ursa, her mind still wrapping itself on the very concept of the attack. On one hoof, the attack contained enough magical energy to completely erase the ursa, on the other hoof, that also applied to Trixie.

She bit her cheek as she stared at the crater once again. Tears now flowing freely and her legs shaking as the reality of the situation slapped her again and again in the face.

Trixie had died, for real.

There was no more "other personalities", no more "revive", and definitely no more funny jokes.

Trixie. Died.

Her mind blocked out reality once more. Maybe it's just another 'gotcha!' moment? Maybe she'll come back! Maybe. Maybe...

She slowly lowered herself towards the ground. Maybe Trixie's gonna jump out and say "I got you good!". She laughed dryly at that thought, only a miracle can do that.

Her eyes was glued towards the crater as she thought of the many ways on how Trixie could revive. She bashed, and bashed her head to maybe think of something. She was so preoccupied on the thought she completely ignored the ursa cub slowly creeping up on her side.

A small yelp escaped Starlight's mouth as the ursa poked it's claw on her stomach. Her eyes full of fear as she saw the ursa cub close to her, fully able to rip her apart in any moment.

"Roar." The ursa cub said towards Starlight.

"W-what?" Starlight stammered out.

"Roar." The cub repeated.

"Oh r-right, you c-cant speak ponish." Starlight deduced with her immaculate intelligence.

"Roar." The ursa replied.

"A-are you gonna eat me?" Starlight asked, fully not expecting an answer.

The ursa threw her a yuck expression and shook it's head, it then pointed at Starlight and did a pretend puke action.

"Are you saying I'm yucky?!" Starlight exclaimed.

"Roar." The ursa deadpanned.

"Am I not good enough for you?" Starlight asked.

The ursa looked towards Starlight's flank, and then back towards her. A ursa brought it's paws together and slowly clapped them.

"Your flank is smaller than me, so yes." Starlight translated from the ursa.

Her face erupted in embarrassment as she deduced the ursa's message, the ursa meanwhile deduced that Starlight did not pair with red.

"Why you-" Starlight started, before she sighed and started to bash her head again on the dirt.

"Roar."

"I'm not even going to bother..." Starlight whispered.

The cub shook his head and slowly climbed Starlight's prone form, perching on top of her head as she finally stopped bashing her skull into the hardest material know to ponies.

"I'm never going to see her again..." Starlight said to herself.

A voice nagged at her at the back of her mind. She dismissed the voice immediately, as she thought it was another one of her "self-esteem issues" or something.

Hey! Stop ignoring me you crook! The voice shouted, which Starlight ignored.

Oh I swear to all that is good! STOP IGNORING ME! The voice shouted louder. Starlight merely blocked the voice out yet again.

I swear, how did I ever find you unintelligible The voice sighed, Ahem.

Starlight N. Glimmer, you have been selected as a new participant in an important survey done by System.inc, please answer truthfully. The voice stated.

A screen popped up infront of Starlight, startling her and the ursa cub, "What the!-"

Are you stupid?

[Yes!] [No!]

The ursa cub, without hesitation, huffed with approval. Starlight meanwhile stared at the screen in utter disbelief. After a few minutes, the ursa ultimately rolled it's eyes and clicked the [Yes!] option for Starlight.

"Wha-bu-HOW?!" Starlight exclaimed. The ursa huffed in annoyance and pointed at Starlight, then pointing at itself.

"You have the same intelligence as me and that's surprisingly not surprising."

"I aced all my tests in CSGU thank you very much!" Starlight countered. The ursa looked at Starlight with a deadpanned expression. The ursa pointed at Starlight and grabbed a stick, it then dropped the stick while maintaining eye contact.

"You didn't even attend CSGU."

"How do you know that?!" Starlight asked, calmly. Calmly.

The ursa points at Starlight's horn and spread it's arms out.

"Anyone could've guessed it! You're horn is probably the biggest thing on and in your head!"

Stop bickering like old people and answer the questions.

The ursa cub huffed in annoyance, as did Starlight.

Do you have conviction?

[Yes!] [No!]

Starlight imitated the cubs actions before. Putting her hoof above the [Yes!] option, she jabbed her hoof softly causing a satisfying ping sound to occur.

Are you determined?

[Yes!] [No!]

"Yes."

Ping!

Do you wish to save someponies life?

"Yes."

ping!

If faced with adversity, will you prevail?

"... Yes."

ping!

Now, for the big question.

Will you fight for the queen?

"... What queen?" Starlight said, confused. The cub growled in confusion also.

You already know who she is. Now, will. You. Fight. For. The. Queen?

[Yes.] [No.]

"I really can't answer that without knowing who it is, you know." Starlight said, with confusion still evident in her voice.

The ursa cub tried to move up Starlight's head to see a clearer view of the question. Instead, he jostled Starlight's head towards the screen, accidentally hitting [Yes.]

ping!

Both of them froze as they heard the unmistakable ping of the screen. An audible creek was heard as they turned towards the glowing screen.

Good to know that! Anyways, thank you for participating and I hope you'll have a great day! Especially tomorrow ish! Don't read too deep into that!

"Wait I didn't mean to-"

Too late now! I'm already disappearing! Woooo! Im already gone! You should've thought better! Woooo! You should really take a break because tomorrow your gonna fight a cha

"I... AUGH! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!" Starlight shouted to the heavens, knocking the poor cub off of her head.

Starlight bashed her head on the soft dirt yet again, yelling profanities into the dirt as she did. Unfortunately, she didn't notice another screen pop up. Said screen displayed a simple message, one that quickly disappeared.

Three way clash:

23 hours and 50 minute's left.

[Agent Sweetie Drops POV]

"Would you like todays newspaper madam?" A pony pointed towards the cart full of Newspapers he was pushing.

"Yes please." Sweetie Drop answered, the stallion hoofing over the newspaper as she did.

'It's something to pass the time I guess...' Thought Sweetie Drops, aka Bon bon.

Opening the newspaper, Bon bon skimmed through the front page. She stared at the paper for a moment, before quickly skimming through it again. Dropping the newspaper, Bon Bon hurriedly rushed over to the trains conductor.

The newspaper drifted for a second before dropping towards the ground. The front page clearly visible.

Equestria Daily!

Breaking news! Massive creature seen in the forrest near Gravel and Lush mane! Said creature was last spotted at 9 am, it then disappeared as a gigantic magical attack was casted near the area of the creature. Some speculate the creature disappeared due to a clash with a powerful unicorn, or even another creature.

Gravel mane's Vice-mayor is currently staying silent in the matter, though some theorize it's due to head security/head guard of Gravel mane disappearing around the same time. The mayor of Gravel mane is also staying silent, but promised to answer any questions at a later date.

More updates is to be released as more info comes to light!

Have you seen this filly? [Picture of a teal coated filly]

If you did, please contact your local authorities. The filly was last seen near the Everfree forest, at exactly 3:14 pm yesterday. The filly is approximately 13 years of age, with no family members known.

[Princess Mi Amore Cadenza(or Cadence) POV]

As I read the newspaper, my confusion grew and grew.

'There wasn't any large creatures mentioned in this time period. Something isn't right.'

I was an avid watcher of MLP:FIM, but unfortunately only got to S5 of the show because of reasons. To say I was confused would be an understatement. I could've been missing crucial info about the past that got revealed in the later episodes, but something tells me that isn't it.

I slowly walked towards the door fo my room, newspaper still in my magical hold. I was going to find out what rely happened, one way or another.

And that way is my Auntie Celestia.

'Still feels weird to call Celestia Auntie, but it sounds correct.'

I opened the door and slowly trotted out while deep in thought. I was pulled out from it however, a familiar voice calling out to me.

"Hey Cadence!" Shining armour said cheerfully, "Nice day today huh?"

The dreaded Shining armour, aka, my to-be-husband. I dreaded that day. Why? Because that day, the day that we get married, will mark the day that I lost all of my masculinity. Well, actually maybe not. Because Flurry heart exists.

I shuddered at the thought of Flurry heart, but quickly composed myself and smile back at Shiny.

"Oh! Hello Shiny," I said, trotting up to him and brushing myself on to him. "Didn't expect you to be here, I thought you had training?"

He quickly turned crimson the moment I brushed up to him, which made me chuckle internally. Look, I'm not gay, but the show must go on.

"I-I-I had to uh," Shiny stuttered as he thought up an excuse. "AskprincessCelestiaaboutthemassivecreature! Yeah... Yeah!"

I chuckled at Shiny as he slowly turned pink in embarrassment.

"Oh, sure you do." I said, while slightly nuzzling him.

'I could feel my last vestiges of humanity shiver as I did that wow.'

Shiny turned crimson yet again, but actually composed himself rather quickly. Surprising.

"What about you? Why are you out here? I thought you were locked in your room for the tenth time trying to find the best match ups for ponies?" Shiny said with a sly smirk, which I countered with a pout.

I hate to admit that, when I found out that I was Cadence I kinda freaked out since I had not even a single clue about love. Thankfully when I got older and I actually got my cutie mark, I finally learned about love and went a little... Over board.

Celestia still doesn't forgive me when I paired her up with ten stallions and one mare. And I don't think she ever will.

"Well, I saw the newspaper's front page and decided to ask Auntie about it. I am being trained as a diplomat for Equestria, so I need to know what happens in it." I answered. Shiny seemed to understand and nodded his head in response.

We arrived at the door to day court after a few more minutes of talking. The two guards brought their spear and smacked them together to signal 'Dont step closer'.

"Halt! State your reason!" One of the guards asked.

"I am here to talk with Princess Celestia, my auntie on something regarding the safety of the nation." I said, while keeping it as polite as I can. Both of them stared at each other, before nodding and placing their spears back to their sides.

"You may enter." Both of them said in unison, before opening the door.

As we entered, we saw my Auntie Celestia. Well, barely. Celestia was sitting on her throne as usual. But she was... Different.

"Auntie? Why do you look so ti-" I stopped as hitched my breath. That's when I smelled it. The undeniable smell of mare liquid. One of the only smells you smell when estrus comes around.

"Auntie, I think you may need a quick bath." I said, while magically plugging my nose.

"Huh? Why does the Princess need a baaaaa- oh. OH!" Shining said, then exclaimed as he smelt the mare liquid just radiating from Celestia.

"I know... It smells... Bad... *Yawn*" A voice said from behind us. We slowly turned our heads towards the voice, only to find Sunset Shimmer drinking hot chocolate while wearing a mask.

"Sunset? What... Happened?" I asked Sunset, her only response was another yawn and a glare towards Auntie.

"Well, somepony smelled a certain liquid from a certain species and went to town for an entire two days by herself. That's what happened." She answered, still glaring at Celestia.

"I already said I was sorry..." Auntie quietly mumbled, which Sunset heard.

"Well, if you really wanted to say sorry, you would've GOTTEN A BATH!" Sunset yelled at Celestia, which caught Shiny off guard.

"Sunset! Don't yell at the Princ-"

"No! You don't understand Shining!" Sunset cut Shiny off and went closer to him. "She did herself, for almost TWO DAYS STRAIGHT! My room, was NEXT TO HERS! I COULD SMELL HER FROM MY ROOM! TARTERUS, YOU CAN PROBABLY SMELL HER FROM THE CAFETERIA!"

"I already took a bath though..." Auntie mumbled quietly again.

"Auntie... How many times did you, uh."

"Not that many-"

"The princess at least did it a hundred times." Sunset answered for Celestia, her hot chocolate flowing towards the ground because of her mask.

I started to question my Auntie's mental state but suddenly remembered why I came originally. I quickly coughed into my hoof to get Auntie's attention, which worked.

"We're getting off topic," I stated. "Auntie, what was the monster near Gravel mane?"

"There was a what in where?" I heard Sunset exclaim quietly.

"There were multiple reports of a monster rampaging near Gravel mane, so me and Shiny decided to ask Auntie about it." I explained.

"Gravel mane, as in the Gravel mane near the Lush forest?" Sunset questioned.

"Not sure if the forest's name is Lush forest but I think so." I answered. Shiny whispered in my ear, saying that the forest is named Lush forest, which made me 'oh'.

"Any possibilities that there were two unicorns in the area?" Sunset questioned.

"No? Other than the new Vice-mayor of Gravel mane there isn't any unicorns reported near the mons-"

"New? What do you mean new?!" Sunset exclaimed, grabbing me on my shoulders and vigorously shaking me. "WHAT DID THE NEW VICE-MAYOR LOOK LIKE? THEY THEY HAVE A PURPLE MANE-"

"SUNSET! Enough!" Shouted Auntie, which made the three of us jump. "Cadence, please answer Sunset's question. And Sunset, please stop shaking my nephew."

Sunset's pupils were pinpricks at this point, which means she's scared. Well, that's what I thought until I saw a nerve bulge out of her head looney toons style.

"Fine." Sunset dryly stated.

Deciding I should try to answer Sunset's questions, (partly because I don't want to fucking die by lesbian bacon) I spoke up rather shakily, still feeling the affects of the washing machine shake.

"I-I don't know what they look like, but yesterday's paper did have an article about them," I answered, slowly composing myself. "The new Vice-mayor had a purple curly mane, with a blue streak running down it. She also has a pinkish purple coat, with two black rectangles as... A... Cutie... Mark..."

As I said out loud the description of the Vice-mayor, realization suddenly dawns on me. I was fucking describing Starlight Glimmer! The show didn't say anything about this! Hell, this was the wrong fucking town! She isn't even supposed to be Vice-mayor in that town! Well, I think so anyways. 'Our Town' doesn't sound like an actual town name.

"Purple coat, Purple mane with blue streak, and two black rectangles for a cutie mark... That's the exact description of subject: Aurora!" Sunset exclaimed excitedly.

"Subject who now?" I heard Shiny question. I forgot he even existed for a second.

"Subject: Aurora! The mare that was reported to be fighting a black coated, blue greenish maned mare in Gravel mane a few days ago!" Sunset said. After she said that, she squealed like a school filly and rolled on the floor for a few seconds.

"Do you know what this means?" Sunset asked us, me and Shiny shaking our heads. "This means subject: Moon is nearby!"

Sunset sat there, with the biggest wide smile you've ever seen. Meanwhile me and Shiny just looked at each other, confused out of our minds. Sunset's smile faltered, before quickly turning into a frown.

"You two don't know what that means, do you?" Sunset sighed. "Subject: Moon was reported to use magic, get this, without using her horn"

... Wait how did Sunset direct this conversation to this? I was just asking what monster appeared near that town! CELESTIA DAMMIT SUNS-

*CRUUUNCH!*

[Chrystal POV]

I slowly trotted across the dark and gloomy swamp of a forest the vermin called, "The Everfree forest".

It was a rather nice trot, in all things considered. Just ignore the manticore corpses behind me, and the few hydra bodies, oh and that one dragon. I was lucky it wasn't a full adult dragon, but mare luck was on both sides as the dragon escaped with a broken bone. Or ten.

I heard a loud crash a few hours back, but I payed it no mind. The queen has tasked me with one objective, and that's the only thing that matters.

If I was the same ling before.

Back then, I was a mindless, no free will warrior of the hive. Only tasked with one thing at a time. As I matured however, a rare gift was bestowed upon me by god, or who's in charged up there.

That gift, was the gift of will.

Most lings had no free will, only high ranked lings had it. Some changeling families do have the ability of will, but it's very limited. Mine however, wasn't.

You see, there are ranks in the changeling order. The lowest of which is called the drones.

They do not have free will, or at the very most have enough free will to not die without the queen's constant orders. Next up are the soldiers.

Soldiers are only a small step up from drones. They have as much free will as a rock that I kicked down the hill when I was a child. They await the queen's orders, standing or sleeping in the dark and cold barracks of the hive. Barely speaking a word. Some do become guards, and gain more free will, though that is rarely come across.

Next up are gatherers. Now these lings have free will. They are the backbone of any changeling hive, as they gather emotions that are needed for it's growth and survival. They have a considerable amount of free will, as they need most of it to go out and see the world.

And lastly, are the elites. Theses lings are the nobles of the hive. They control, manage, and pretty much save the queen from any hassle of royalty. They build houses for the lings, though it is barely used, or so I am told. They get direct orders from the queen, which they repeat to the queens subjects posthaste. The queen can order the hive directly, but it causes too much strain on the queen, so the elites stay.

However, I was vastly different. I used to be a drone, along with a certain ling named "Thorax" or something. At an early age, Thorax and I, along with his brother, gained free will. It alarmed the queen, so she ordered the elites to send the three of us to her chambers.

With testing, the queen found out Thorax and his brother only gained a miniscule amount of free will, atleast compared to me that is. My free will was outstanding, and rather alarming to the queen.

I could challenge the queen's choice without consequences, or even outright disobey orders if I wanted too. Normally, anyling who even thought about doing that would combust right then and there.

That's partly why I soared the ranks, and the main reason I'm feared by the queen. The queen fears me, she fears what I could represent. What can I represent? Well, what the queen fears at that moment. One moment she fears I could start a revolution in her hive, and the next she fears that I'll surpass her and become the the new queen. The last one is basically an irrational fear, noling can become a queen nilly-willy, at least, that's what I think.

The elites however saw me as the perfect warrior. It sounds backwards, but it makes sense. To the elites a perfect warrior was one who can think without struggle, one who trains without being told, one who comes up with plans and predicts the enemies movements with ease. Thankfully for them, I was just that. A perfect warrior.

Leaves crunched beneath my hooves as I walk past a cave. A faint smell wafted through the air, one that I was well accustomed to. The smell of a ling's heat, more specifically, a changeling queen's heat. I was close.

Smelling the air more thoroughly, I noticed it trailing away from the cave, and into the direction of a large river. Following the scent, I came across the remains of a hydra, clearly eaten and discarded away only a few days ago.

I smelled the air again, now detecting a faint odor of magic. Ponies don't know this, but magic actually smells like something. It's a combination of sweet and metallic, an interesting smell, but one you can get used to.

I carefully trotted towards the largest concentration of the magic smell I could find, finding it to be right inside the hydra. One thing to note is that an animal that uses magic doesn't emit it's smell, something I chalked up to evolution.

Keeping a mental note for later, I sniffed the ground to pick up the smell of ling-liquid, now noticing that it strangely stops at the river. I smelled the air again, finding that, for some strange reason, the smell is now coming from the river. She must've jumped in.

Trotting towards where the smell is heading to, I finding a small town in the forest, though ignored it as the smell didn't stop at it. Continuing my trot across the river, the forest slowly ended and I was met with a mini mesa plains.

I explored multiple countries but Equestria still surprises me even now. I mean, where else could you see a mesa combined with a plains just outside a forest brimming with life?

Chuckling to myself, I trotted towards the ever increasing smell of my target. I stopped as I stared at a town, a sign hanging above the entrance to it. I smelled the air again, and concluded that this is where my target is. I steeled myself as I trotted into the town, what's the name again? It was just on the sign a few seconds ago... Oh, right, the town's name was-

Gravel mane

Three way clash:
30 minutes

Season one. Officially over. Finally.

2-11: A day to remember.

Author's Note

WAZZUP MAGANDANG... People right? That's what vice says- PEOPLE!!!!

Yeah. I'm back. Hopefully this is the start of the week of chapters. Probably not lmao.

Update:

Ahem. Merry Xmas eve?

2-11: A day to remember.

Are Changelings Ants???

Please select a season. . .

[S1] >>[S2]<< [S3] [S4] [S5]

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[S2: Back 2 scohol school] has been selected, proceed?

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[Yes!]<<
[No.]

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[WARNING! Possible corruptions may occur when running the selected program, proceed with caution.]

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Dude. That's my car.

-Famous last words of Cadence before she died and got reincarnated (not as a slime)

Current events

[3rd person POV]

After the rather eventful events that happened approximately a day ago, things calmed down rather fast.

"Ms. Starlight! Can we get closure on what happened with the mysterious creature in the woods?"

Well, except for the dang journalists. Starlight sighed as she entered the town hall, swarms of mosquito-like journalist buzzing in her ears.

"Ms. Starlight! What are your thoughts on surrounding towns lack of approval with your handling of this situation." Another reporter asked.

She trotted over to her vice-mayor office, a little quicker everytime another reporter asked a question. 'I swear one of these days I'll just stop caring. It's only been a day and that's how low I am right now.'

Approaching the door, she slammed it open causing the surrounding reporters to flinch. Turning to them, she puts on her 'best customer service' face and opens her mouth.

"Your questions will be answered in due time, the investigation is still ongoing so for now please leave me alone. Please." She says, muttering the last part. With a sigh, she enters her office and slams the door shut. The mob of reporters, not satisfied with her answer, try to knock on her office's window, which for some reason is shatter-proof.

"Leave me alone!" Starlight yelled, closing the blinds to her window and effectively canceling any further questions from the reporters. "Dear Celestia I hate this so much."

Trotting over to the average looking desk in the middle of the room, Starlight examined her surroundings thoroughly. 'Now that I think about it, I didn't get to actually explore this room as much yesterday.'

She was inside of a room. Hah, I'm just joking I'm actually gonna describe it.

She was inside a rather average room, all things considered. The room was fairly big, able to fit atleast 100 ponies if she stacked them like blocks. Inside the room was also fairly average. There was a desk about four hooves (feet) away from where she currently stood. Beside the desk there was a banged up tent, the exact tent Trixie tore a hole through.

The last item in the room was a small bed, not made for ponies, but rather made for pets. Snoozing on top of the bed was a small ursa cub, it's paw twitching every now and then.

•Don't leave me delicious and delectable steak...• Starlight imagined what the cub was dreaming about.

Starlight sighed as she neared the desk. She lifted the chair behind the desk using her magic, groaning internally as she did. She was rather annoyed, all things considered.

Annoyed at the mayor of thrusting this responsibility onto her in a matter of 3 days, annoyed at the reporters and annoyed at the paperwork. Especially the paperwork.

Before she could sit down on her cushy chair, she was blinded by a sudden flash of light infront of her. She stumbled back, yelping in surprise at the sudden light, much like a discord mod reacting to sunlight for the first time in decades.

Not funny? Okay I'll stop.

She took on a fighting stance. And what I mean by a fighting stance, she just arched her back like a cat. The fighting stance seized as she saw the bright, transparent screen infront of her.

'It's the same screen as yesterday...' Starlight thought.

She circled the blank screen like a predator, seemingly looking for a crack in the holographic illusion. A sudden ping! grabbed her attention as the previously blank screen spelled out a message right infront of her.

New Quest!

>Protect Trixie's hat!
*Protect Trixie's hat from enemies! If their hat get destroyed, stolen or goes missing you lose!

*Win conditions: Protect Trixie's hat until the time is right!

*Rewards!
•Trixie's magical hat
•Skill [Call]
•The Elements of harmony: A historical guide
• 1 more brain cell

*If lost
•Death
•Trixie's hat is gone

[This quest cannot be declined.]

Starlight silently mused over the screen. After a minute or ten, she sighed a deep sigh.

Then she screamed.

Somewhere in the jungle

"Celestia dammit! I should've known this was a bad idea," The arylide yellow coated mare muttered to herself. "I mean, really DD? I now you're special talent is adventure but you're just a filly at this point!"

The mare trotted through the dark corners of the Equestrian jungle, vines dangling off the branches of nearby trees. This jungle wasn't the Everfree, but it was a close second.

"But noooooo! 'I want to explore my talent more!'" She whispered to herself. She then tenses up as she remembers something somewhat crucial.

"I don't even have food! BUCK!" She shouted. "I just need to get to civilization, and I could probably go from there."

"Just need a clue to where to go....."

"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"... That's divine intervention if I ever saw one. Well, heard." The mare said, now trotting towards the direction of the loud scream.

Back to our neighborhood grump

Starlight gasped for air as she stopped her roar of annoyance. Her face was pretty much purple at this point.

Purpler

She slowly regained her composure, her eyes darting towards the glowing screen once again. The screen now had a new message, one that would've caused Starlight to scream again if she had any more stamina left.

Time starts now :D

"The buck you mean 'time starts now?'" Starlight asks, but gets no answer.

"Great... What now?" Starlight looks around the room for something to do. "Where the hell is the magical hat anyways?"

As she said this, her eyes were suddenly covered by cloth. Feeling her anger grow ever so slightly more, she makes the cloth float infront of her. Low and behold, it's the fucking hat. Twili- I mean, Starlight took a deep breath in and held it, then let it out.

"Well... Now what?" Starlight asked herself. Before she could think about a solution, a sudden knock forced her to put thinking on hold.

"Ms. Starlight? Somepony wants to meet you!" Called from behind the door.

"Tell them to politely wait for a second!" Starlight shouted, putting the hat inside of the desk. It had a compartment at the bottom and it costed 50 bits, so...

Starlight opened the door and sighed, today was going to be a long day she said to herself. When did it go wrong?

*Thunk!*
"Groewl?- GRWOL!" •The fuck was tha- THE DESK FELL APART!•

... Maybe when she bought that 50 bit desk.

[Bon Bon]

"Okay... Here it is," Bon bon whispered to herself. "Gravel mane. Estimated population: 500."

"... How the hell am I gonna find the target in this town?" She asked no one particular.

"Well, maybe ya could talk to ye olden Stallion over at the town hall?" A voice behind her suggested. She turned around to see an orange coated stallion wearing a cowboy hat. His brown mane wrapped in a ponytail. "Ya seem to be new and all, my name's Old Squashbuckler! I work over yonder anyways, could gladly show ya the path."

Bon bon noted that his accent seemed to be fake, but ignored it. "I would appreciate it Mr. Squash," She held her hoof out for a hoofshake which Squashbuckler gladly accept. "My name's Bon Bon, I'm a tourist but I'm interested in living here."

"Oh! Another settler? I haven't seen another pony consider this old heep of squash a home since the last great storm." Squashbuckler spoke, forgetting his accent for a second.

Bon bon also noted that there was no such thing as 'the last great storm'. She also noted that he's 16 years of age.

"Well, lead the way." She said.

As they walked, Squash introduced the shops and buildings along the way including a bar that had it's ceiling blown to bits. The manager of the seemed to be cleaning the bar up bit by bit with the help of ten strangers. When Bon Bon asked about this, Squash's only reply was:

"Oh? That's ye olden bar. It's been standing since Mah and pah first arrived here, it has this darn- I mean, damn cracker that runs it. His name's Bar Fight, a word of advice, ya better stay away from there."

Bon bon quietly nodded as she was told about this. She saw a few vendors here and there, but the most interesting was the apple vendors. When Squash saw them, he seemed to grow smaller and walked faster. A little later Bon bon saw why.

"Oh! Applebuck! There you are!" The mare stationed at the apple shop shouted at Squash, now Applebuck. "I was worried about you young colt! Where have you been?"

"Mah! I-Im trying to get this filly a tour of the town. Also Ah told you to not call me Applebuck anymore!" Applebuck shouted with embarrassment.

"And you want me call you Squashbuckler? I know you want to be a pirate dear but changing your name seems a little bit extreme..." The mare commented.

"Fi-fine! Yah can call be Applebuck. Being a pirate sucks anyway..."

"Oh no dear! You can be a pirate if you want, you know I'll support you either way." The mare said, which made Applebuck tear up.

"Th-thanks mah." Applebuck hugged his mom and cried, completely forgetting Bon bon. Bon bon just sat there. She's a trained professional.

After a few minutes of tearful hugging, Applebuck finally walked back towards Bon bon. "Well, wanna finish up this here tour?"

"Sure..."

The rest of the tour was rather uneventful compared to the first 20 minutes. She was shown shops, more shops, even more shops, a cobalt mine, shops, the residential area... Shops. After the 50th shop, Bon bon was finally introduced to the mayor's office. Or town hall if you're going to be that type of guy.

"And this here the town hall!" Applebuck announced to Bon bon. "Or the Mayor's office if you're that type o' gall."

"Oh! And before ah forget, the mayor's out o' town."

"And why is he out of town?" Bon bon asked.

"Ah think its cuz his friend got injured or sumthin." Applebuck answered her question.

"... And who's in charge?" Bon bon hesitantly asked.

"Well, it would be the newly appointed vice mayor! Ms. Starlight Glimmer." Applebuck happily stated.

"So can I meet her?"

"Sure! Follow me."

Bon followed Applebuck inside the town hall. As she walked she noted reporters from Equestria Daily asking ponies something she, admittedly, did not care about.

Only gotta meet the vice mayor, maybe interrogate her, and hang around here for a while. She thought to herself. Her thoughts were put on hold when Applebuck suddenly gestured a filly to come over to them.

"Oh! Cous!" The filly exclaimed. "What're you doing here?"

"Ah was showing this filly 'ere round town, after that she asked to see the vice. Can yah get her for me?" Applebuck explained.

"Ah did it once, ah can do it again! Ah won't let yah down!" The filly rushed off to somewhere, presumably to get the vice.

"Excited little filly huh." Bon bon said.

"Eeyup," Applebuck replied. Somewhere in Equestria a red colt suddenly sneezed. "She's my cuz. Her name's Fruitseed. Ah swear, she has the energy of a pegasus even though she's an earth pony."

"Heh, I can see that."

[Starlight Glimmer]

[1st person]

Just ignore it... Just ignore it... Just ignore it. she repeated that phrase in my head one too many times, but you really can't blame me can you? I mean, first day you enter the office and the mayor is already gone. Anypony would go insane at that, me included.

Now, you may be asking, "what are you ignoring?". Well take a bucking guess.

"Ms. Starlight! You still haven't answered-" The mare- no. The absolutely useless fly continued to buzz, until I suddenly grabbed her and being muzzle to muzzle with the horse.

"Would. You. PLEASE. Shut. The. Buck. Up!?" That was the final sentence I said before throwing her out of a nearby window, hopefully in a pile of manure.

"Wow! Ms. Starlight, yer so strong!" A filly said from beside her. Fruitseed, if she remembers correctly.

"And apparently very imposing." A new voice said from the side of me. "Hello Ms. Starlight, I'm Bon Bon."

"Not a reporter I assume?" I said tiredly. I could tell she wasn't a reporter, since she wasn't bombarded me with annoying questions.

"You would be correct. I- uh, wanted to see if there was any homes that I could move into?" Bon Bon said with a stutter.

'That was so obviously a fake stutter. She seems trained.' If you've been wanted for half a decade, you'd learn a thing or five.

"I'll see if there's any vacant homes available, for now would you like to come to the office and discuss anything else?" I said with a slightly exaggerated tone. 'What is your purpose here Bon Bon?'

"Of course! I'd love to!" She exclaimed, following me as I walked towards my office.

"As you can see around you, there's multiple rooms leading up to my office and the mayor's. Just ignore them." I said, not bothering to look at Bon Bon.

"Why's that?" She asked, curiosity evident.

"Most of them's empty. Apparently not enough qualified ponies and shii-stuff." Bon Bon had a slight shine to her eyes when I almost cursed. What could she have noticed? My brain isn't qualified for this...

"Annnd we're here." I announced, making Bon Bon jump slightly. "Come in, we don't have all day." She seemed to agree with me, since she followed after me quick.

"Uhhh, what 'bout us?" Applebuck asked. Recently learned his name through his mom. Squashbuckler wasn't a convincing name anyway.

"You can go now if you want." I said, before closing the door. "Oh, and thank you for touring the new pony."

"Ah- uh... Yur welcom'?-"

*SLAM*

"Now. Let's just get straight on the point, shall we?" I asked my guest. She stared at my eyes, as if questioning my existence.

"I guess we shall..." She replied, taking a seat and watching me. I guess we'll have to do this the old and wanted ways.

TO BE CONTINUED... ANYDAY NOW.

[S2]Teaser!: This is worthless!

Guess who's back,

-Back again

[Interview 1: Trixie Lulamoon]

"So, Trixie. How do you feel about the rumors about ponies and you, rolling in the hay if you catch my drift?"

"What? What in the blue cheese are you the talking about?" Trixie asked the mysterious questioner. "And who the hell are you?!"

The pony chuckled at Trixie's reaction, before returning to their normal expression. "Answer the question Trix, the fans want to know."

"... Fine, who's the pony that you're talking about." Trixie asked.

"Oh, it's not one pony. It's ponies."

"The fuck?"

"You see Trixie, there's a rumor going around that you and a certain group of ponies are... Getting along a little too well."

"And who are these group members, if I may so kindly ask from you."

"Well, let's see here..." The questioner pulls out a piece of paper from their hair and scans through it with lightning speeds. "Oh! Here it is. You got Lyra, Bon bon, Spitfire? Wow that's a doozy. And... Dashie."

"... And these ponies are supposedly the ponies I fuck?"

"Woah! Woah!" The questioner exclaimed. "Language Trixie! There's kids reading this."

"Kids can't read idiot."

"Aaanyways, yes. The rumors state that you've been... Playing in the clouds with these ponies. Confirm or deny?"

"As much as I want to confirm it. Nah, it's fake." Trixie said, leaning back in his chair. "Can't get a single mare to date me. Bit sad innit."

"It's surprising too!" The riddler- I mean the Questioner exclaimed. "With the imbalance of mare to stallions, you'd think you'd get a mare by now!"

"Ouch."

"Anywayssss, I got more ponies to interview so get your flank outta my room- I mean, my office!"

"Wait do I get a free cupcake or something-"

*SLAMM!*

[Interview 2: Rainbow 'Danger' Dash]

"Wait, where the hay am I?"

"Now, Dashie!" The questioner pointed a pen at the prismatic mare. "You're fast right?"

"Who the hay or you- wait..." Rainbow leaned into the questioner's face, who was on the other side of the table. "PINKIE!?"

Huzza! The riddler has been identified!

"Oh fiddlesticks... Should've known you'd see through my dark veil of darkness Dashie!" Pinkie giggled.

"Well... Pegasi do have better vision in the dark so." Rainbow puffed her chest out. "Also, for your earlier question, Twi did some egghead stuff and figured out my top speed is mach 1.4! I don't know if that's fast but, you know, sounds cool."

"Follow up question then!" Pinkie exclaimed, before getting dangerously close to Rainbow. "Do you like mares?"

Rainbow suddenly went bright red before pushing Pinkie out of her face. "What?! No, ew! W-what made you think that? I mean- hehe."

"Rainbow, this is a gender safe environment. Noponys gonna judge you! Except for the fanboy in the author but he lives in the typhoon center of Southeast asia so it's normal there. Semi normal." Pinkie said all in one breath.

"... Fine, you won't tell anypony?" Rainbow asked Pinkie.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in eye!"

"I'm..."

"Yesssss?"

"I swing both ways! A little more to the stallion side but still!" Rainbow blurted out.

"There we go Dashie! Now how does that feel?"

"... Feels good to say it to a friend." Rainbow admitted.

"Now!" Pinkie exclaimed, before jumping over the table and pinning Rainbow to the ground. "Do you have the hotts for Trixie?"

"WHAT?!" Rainbow yelled, before quickly bolting out of the room, leaving Pinkie staring at the ground.

"I'll take that as a no then."

[Interview 3: Lyra 'Lyre' Heartstrings and Bon Bon 'Candy' Drops]

"Now! You two!" Pinkie asked the two mares, which were Lyra and Bon Bon. "Are you married?"

"Fuck no."
"I'm not into anypony."

"Oh." Pinkie stared at them, before continuing. "So both of you are asexual?"

"I like stallions and mares." Bon bon replied casually.

"Ponies are gross. Still feels icky to think about them that way." Lyra admitted. "It's been... Ten years since I lost most of my memory, and apparently being attracted to ponies went with it."

"Interesting..." Pinkie said, jotting down notes. In reality she was drawing crude stick ponies. "So both of you aren't in a secret relationship with Trixie? Or without him."

"No? What makes you think that?"
"I AM NOT GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT NARCISSISTIC HORSE!"

...

"Lyra, Trixie isn't even close to being narcissistic. Egotistical sure, but not narcissistic." Bon bon said to Lyra, the latter fuming in the thought of her and Trixie being near each other.

"That's what she'll make you think!" Lyra exclaimed. "She's just waiting for the perfect moment, and she'll jump out and bite ya!"

"Oooo, why do you hate Trixie so much Lyra?" Pinkie asked.

"Oh, you know, besides the fact that she's A LYING CONNIVING SON OF A CHAOS THAT'LL STAB YOU IN THE BACK!" Lyra shouted.

"He stole your sandwich once, Lyra. Also I keep telling you Trixie identifies as a stallion." Bon bon scolded Lyra.

"THAT'S ONLY FOR CLOUT!" Lyra exclaimed.

"Still don't know what clout means." Bon bon said under her breath. Bon bon, having enough of Lyra's shouting match with the air, escorted Lyra out, leaving Pinkie alone in her room.

"Nope and nope... Options are running thin Trixie..." Pinkie muttered. If you listener closely, you could hear Trixie yelling 'I didn't even ask for this anyways!'

[Interview 5: Spitfire 'Streak' Skies]

"And lastly... Captain Spitfire!"

"Sup." Spitfire casually said. "So, you wanna interview ol' Spitfire huh?"

"Hmhm!" Pinkie nodded.

"So, I'll answer the basics." Spits said before clearing her throat. "I'm only 25 years old, no I'm not attracted to mares and yes I have experimented. Yes I'm attracted to stallions, no I'm not in a relationship with Soarin or any wonderbolts. And no, I'm not a secret robot made from an underground lab."

"Wow... So those questions are commonly asked to you?" Pinkie asked.

"Yep. Oh, I forgot one. Yes, Soarin is gay." Spits said, with a confident smirk. In Cloudsdale, a blue gray stallion sneezed.

"Oooo! Dashie is gonna be miffed about that one!"

"Heh." Spitfire chuckled.

"Now, do you know this pony?" Pinkie asked, before shoving a picture of Trixie eating a burger into Spits face.

"Oh, is that who I think it is? It is!" Spits exclaimed, before wearing a goofy grin on her face. "It's been so long since I last saw that hunk of lazy meat..."

"Do you like him?"

"Hmhm- I mean what?" Spits asked, a slight blush on her cheeks. "What's your question again?"

"I asked if you wanted him to stick his [beep] in to your [boop]?"

"Didn't even know he had that..." Spitfire said, staring into space, her face slowly turning red.

"Sooooo?" Pinkie asked, hope in her voice. Maybe Trixie actually has somepony that likes him! Because if he doesn't, Pinkie has to do it herself. "Shhh, Quiet Depressed!"

"I mean..." Spitfire trailed off. "Hm..."

"Yesssssssss..?"

"Fine." Spitfire finally relented. "I like-"

"TRIXIEEEEE!" Shouted a certain pink alicorn. "YOU BETTER EXPLAIN WHY MY LOVE SENSES ARE TINGLING!"

"Uhhhhh." Trixie said, looking at Cadence with a confused expression. "I don't know?"

"You don't know?" Cadence said, confused. "Oh. Then, do you have a guess or something?"

"Dunno, maybe grandpa felt a little cheeky today." Trixie said, before sipping his extra black coffee. "Or maybe it's another cliche in this bullshit of a story."

Both were silent for a few seconds before Cadence spoke up, worry in her voice evident.

"But in all seriousness, how do you not have a mare yet?" Asked Cadence, genuinely worried.

"I DON'T KNOW MAN! STOP ASKING ME LIKE I KNOW WHY!"

Achievement unlocked: No bitches?

"OH COME ON!"

Author's Note

Ps: I'm not homophobic. I just hate gays.

I'm joking. I hate everyone equally.
I'm not actually homophobic and I love ya people

Also, I'm back. Lmao. Made this lil chapter for fun.

2-12

Turn this T.V off!

-Hip hop sensation

[Before the nukes got dropped onto our MC's head]

(Btw, the mc has a slight british accent. I thought it was funny so I added it.)
"And it says here that you're, 'In need of cool toys because I'm sad :('." The police officer said to me, raising an eyebrow as he did.

"... Yes!" I exclaimed. "You don't want a poor ten year old child to go home sad do you now?"

"You stole an entire store's worth of toys from the show, My little pony: Friendship is magic. I don't think you're any ordinary child." The officer retorted at my face.

"Oh c'mon! They didn't let me buy any of the-" I started to say, before I got interrupted by a door slamming open behind us.

"This here interrogation is done." A voice said from behind me, causing both me and the officer to look at the source.

It was a old geezer, with a brown suit and a yellow tie that looks like he got from the worst tailor shop know to mankind. I quickly realized that this old fu... geezer was my soon-to-be dead grandad. I'm saying soon-to-be, because I'm narrating this in the future, and not in my mind like a fucking lunatic.

"And what makes you say tha-"

"The United States military. Now, skedaddle away from here before I turn you into chocolate milk " Getting the hint, the police officer hurriedly left the room, leaving me and my last remaining relative alone.

Before I could say anything, I felt a pinching sensation on my right ear, and me being dragged away from the police station. "Now tell me why I had to that, child?"

"Ow! It's a misunderstanding-" I tried to answer, but getting cut off by another pinch to my ear.

"Don't give me excuses child." He hissed, causing me to deflate a little.

"... I wanted to grab your attention." I mumbled.

"Well, you certainly have gained my attention, colt." He sneered, his white teeth getting as sharp as knives. "Though, you really ought to snap out of it."

"Huh?" I dumbly responded.

"The battle is already raging on. You shouldn't miss it."

"Wha- what're you talking about gramps?" Rimu said, only to be confronted with darkness. Now that he thought about it, everything is dark now.

"Gr-gramps?" Rimu stuttered. A light dripping noise being the only thing that responded. "I—I'm scared..."

*drip*

"I—I'm s-scared of the d-dark..."

[Right where we left off last.]

There was silence in the room. Palpable, thick, and almost sticky silence. The two mares stared at each other. One dead serious, wanting to get this over with and protect a stupid hat. The other, calm on the outside, calculating in the inside, just waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the chance to bite someponie's ass.

"So..." Started Bon Bon. "How's your day?"

"I am going to torture you."

"Okay then." Bon bon replied, before shooting up on her hooves and beckoning Starlight to action. "Let's get this over with."

"Gladly." Starlight said through gritted teeth.

THE BATTLE STARTS NOW!
Starlight!: 100/100
Bon Bon!: 145/100

"Okay I already hate this." Starlight said, looking dead ahead to the bright and flashy screen.

*TWACK!*

75/100

"Better pay attention vice-mayor!" Bon bon shouted.

Starlight was thrown across the room with a resounding thud, leaving her breathless and in shambles.

"Bucking tarta-" Before Starlight could finish that thought however, Bon Bon suddenly slammed a hoof on Starlight chest, causing another evacuation of the air in Starlight lungs.

50/100

"Now, I'll ask nicely okay?" Bon bon asked the coughing mare. "What happened here. Why was there an ursa major, and why did it disappear?"

"I-I don't-" *S T O M P*

"Answer me. Or I'll have to question your corpse instead." Bon bon sneered.

'This is bad.' Starlight thought.

20/100
Tip!: If your health goes to zero, you'll faint and probably die!

'Really bad."

'If I don't answer her, I'll die. I really can't fight back because, you know, she's an earth pony. Celestia dammit, why did you do this! You bucking idiotic me!'

Self loathing was one of Starlight's favorite hobbies. Second only to self pity.

Blehh! Boooooring! Are you really Starlight or are you just a faker, huh?

Starlight grit her teeth as she read the message, every fiber of her being tensed in anger causing Bon Bon to raise her eyebrow.

"What? Angry now? Or are you really trying to push me off?"

"Shut up." Starlight spat back.

Psh! As she could ever push you off! I mean-

The message suddenly disappeared, and reappeared next to Bon Bon's head.

Look at these stats! 3 on strength? 4 in stamina? A pony's average is 10! A unicorn is even as low as 7! But here Starlight is, being weaker than a fo-

"SHUT UP!" Starlight yelled with all her power causing Bon Bon shoot upwards and into the roof, breaking it, and landing outside of the room.

130/145

Finally! Some good action. Gonna shut up now, since having quotes in the middle of fight scene ruins it. Haha! 4th wall break.

"Nggyaaaa!" Starlight crazily screamed as she jumped through a convenient placed window, and directly into a crowd of ponies. "Come back here you bucking mud pony!"

The onlookers could only watch in disbelief as their vice-mayor suddenly rushed towards a coughing earth pony, who by all accounts was pretty much getting assaulted by their new mayor.

"I keep telling you man!" A green pegasus said to his friend as they watched Starlight beat up a defenseless mare. "The unicorns are always the crazy ones!"

"Shut up Green wing." His friend said, before smacking the pegasus's head.

Anyways. Awkward transition here.

"You-"
120/145
"—Stupid-"
110/145
"—Flank-"
100/145
"—Bastar- woah!" Starlight was suddenly thrown off Bon bon in one swift motion.

"That bucking tickles you ass!" Bon exclaimed, before standing up and dusting her self off. "I mean, really? Hoof instead of horn?"

"You're supposed to be fighting me! Not insulting me!" Starlight yelled, tears threatening to unionize.

"That's technically a form fighting." Bon bon spat back, causing Starlight to slowly lose her composure.

"BEING A TEENAGER IS HARD OKAY!?" Starlight... Screamed? Yelled. Wailed at the top of her lungs, tears streaming down her face.

You know, with all the traumatic experiences that happened in this dramatic retelling, you'd think Starlight would've snapped sooner.

"Continue the Celestia damned story Trixie!"

Okay okay sheesh fine.

[Chrystal... Reflection]

Her hooves splashed on the muddled sand beneath her, solidified with the blood of a baker's dozen of uncooperative buffalo's. It had been a little confusing at first. A herd of buffalo suddenly seething in anger the moment they saw you isn't exactly normal.

"Hurts... It... Hurts..." One of the poor souls groaned as Chrystal slowly approached. "Stupid... Why did we..."

The buffalo trailed off as she saw Chrystal looking down on her. "W-wait! I'm sorr—"

*CRACK*

*Drip...*

*Drip...*

"I don't have time for this..." Chrystal murmured as she lit her horn up and burned the body of the dead animal. "The sooner I find the fake queen, the faster I can go home."

With time not on her side she briskly trotted away from the bloodbath, her hoof prints staining the sand beneath her with blood.

'If I'm home, I can protect my little baby sister... Thorax...'

[Uh oh, hopefully that wasn't foreshadowing—]

"And— *sniff* I just can't— *angst*" Starlight tried to say, but her tears and sniffles stopped her from doing so.

"Dear Celestia she's a teenager through and through isn't she..." Bon Bon said in her mind as she looked at the sobbing mare infront of her. "Well, I also am a teenager technically. Buck. The S.M.I.L.E training didn't prepare me for this. C'mon Swee— Bon Bon, remember what the trainer said..."

Bon bon started to imagine all the times that her stupid trainer said. As she did, a clearer and clearer image popped up until—

"As you have already guessed. Your mommies and daddies aren't going to pick you up—"

"Wrong thing."

Ahem.

A memory suddenly showed herself to Bon bon. She was standing on a grassy field with other unlucky orphans around her. She focused her sights infront towards a light brown coated pegasus, a scar right on his right eye.

"Alright you maggots!" The trainer—I swear this is important to the story— shouted at the foals, terrifying a few of them in the process. "You lot are the ones who survived the first step of the process, so I'll cut to the chase."

"The first lesson in Government missions is to distance yourself from everything! From your allies, your enemies and even to yourself! If you can't learn this lesson, then you might as well die on the spot now!" Bon bon remembered being scared out her mind but looking back it now, the trainer was definitely saving them a whole lot of trauma.

"WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME!?!" Starlight snapped Bon bon out of her thoughts with resounding scream, making the latter's ear ring in the process.

"I'm not a therapist that's why." Bon bon deadpanned.

Starlight was admittedly miffed about this fact, since Bon bon actually had a good answer.

"STILL!" Starlight yelled. "YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME! MAYBE I'LL REVEAL A HIDDEN HAT THAT I HID IN MY OFFICE DESK THAT'S KEY TO YOUR MISSION OR SOMEThing." Starlight yelled but trailed off at the end, her face pale with realization.

"Highly trained professional baby."

"W-wait!" Starlight hastily said. "Forget about that! Let's— uh—"

"Where's your office again?" Bon bon asked calmly.

"Oh, to the right and— BUCK!" Starlight exclaimed as Bon bon booked it towards her office. "COME BACK HERE!!"

"NO!"

Author's Note

Dude. This story is supposed to be filled with cocaine. Why are there sad-ish moments in my cocaine

Also, short ish chapter. I'll try to make the next one longer, since my exams have literally just ended.