What Doesn't Kill You

by The Ancestor

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Anon, Pinkie Pie, Profanity, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 1535

In the middle of a party held in honor of the one and only Anonymous, Princess Celestia notices that the man of the hour is missing. Worried for her little human, she finds him sitting on the curb, alone.

In the middle of a party held in honor of the one and only Anonymous, Princess Celestia notices that the man of the hour is missing. Worried for her little human, she finds him sitting on the curb, alone.

Quite inebriated, Anon let's Celestia in on a secret, one that can be quite self-destructive.

It seems, another heart to heart is in order.

Published 2024-04-09 16:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-04-09 16:00:00 UTC

Makes You Stronger

Celestia emerged from the hustle and bustle of the Sugarcube Corner, the sounds of the party behind her muffled surprisingly well by the building's wooden door. Windows flashed with all the colors of the rainbow, painting the outside with all sorts of wondrous hues.

The first month of spring was beginning to pass, the nights growing subtly warmer, yet remaining chilly enough to make an ordinary pony shiver. Celestia, of course, was exempt from this rule, but she also wasn't an ordinary pony.

And on that chilly night, one extraordinary mare was looking for her similarly extraordinary human, the man slipping away from the party, most likely intoxicated. It wasn't a matter of trust, Celestia reasoned. She trusted Anon, he was a grown man, after all. She was simply worried, is all. What if he caught a cold? Or got lost in the Everfree? Or some other similarly disastrous occurrence was to happen. Ponyville was deceptively quiet, after all.

She didn't have to look for long, the hunched frame of Anon sitting peacefully on a nearby curb, far enough that the sounds of the party were barely audible. Even in the dark, Celestia noticed his flushed cheeks, her silent question answered when she saw his eyes.

"Hey, Ce-celly!" A goofy smile plastered on his face and the way he slurred his words left no room for argument, he was drunk. "Wow, you look gor- gorge- gogr-" He took a deep breath. "Pretty. You look really pretty tonight. Not to say you don't usually look pretty, because you do. You just look pretty pretty tonight." Anon mimicked her chuckle, not sure if what he said was right or not.

"My, you sure are a charmer tonight." Celestia sat next to him, the man instantly leaning into her, his skin cold from however long he spent in the open air. "Anon, if you wanted to cuddle, you could've just asked." It was a joke, of course, but she wasn't sure Anon got it.

"Nah, that'd be too cheesy." He smelled of chocolate, whisky and an earthy smell Celestia couldn't quite recognise. "I still can't believe you ponies have strong alcohol. I was expecting... I dunno, apple juice or something." A content sigh escaped his lips as Celestia's wing covered him, the additional insulation doing wonders to his core body temp. "You know, I don't really feel cold."

"Well, you are." Celestia's voice was firm, not that Anon was in the mood for arguing. "I believe a conversation about drinking responsibly awaits you in the future."

"Feh." He waved her concerns away, or at least tried to. "It's not an everyday occurance, you know? Besides, I got a little nervous out there... I know, what, ten ponies out of a good hundred attending that party. Give me a break." He rummaged through his jeans' pockets, fishing out a small rectangular package. Opening it, he put a thin, brown stick in his lips, his hand swaying back and forth as he put a lighter to the end of the stick.

"You smoke, Anon?" Celestia finally remembered what that other smell was. Even the incredulous look on Anon's face couldn't soften her expression.

"Huh? You have cigarettes here?" He wilted under her gaze, a mix of worry and disappointment on her face.

"Cigars were popular in the age of discovery, but quickly fell out of fashion in the following decades when their side-effects were discovered." She pondered teleporting the cigarette out of Anon's mouth as he took a drag, but decided against it, at least for the time being. "But you didn't answer my question."

Anon sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Feels like I'm talking to my mum..." He shook his head, flicking the ash off his cigarette into the nearby bin. "Shouldn't have said that, sorry." He took another drag, gathering his thoughts. "Truth be told, I don't really like smoking. The smell's awful, my head's dizzy and I'm barely passed a third of the cig, and the bloody things are expensive." He let the cigarette smolder in his grasp, a distant look in his eyes.

"My friend Alan, though? He's been smoking since high school, and never leaves home without a pack. He left it at my place after a board game night, so I called him. Al said he'd take the pack next time we met, so I kept it in my jacket just in case." A bitter chuckle left his lips. "Funny how that turned out." He put the cig out, disposing of it in the nearby bin. "I'm not planning on buying the local equivalent, or even finishing this pack. Think of it as a memento." He shoved the pack into his pocket, his head a little clearer now.

"Sorry for stinking you up, by the way." His sheepish smile was disarming, a soft sigh followed by a flash of Celestia's horn clearing the smell of smoke from the pair.

"Anon. Please understand that I want the best for you, when I say that what you're doing is not healthy. You're homesick, I understand, but being stuck in the past will do you no good." She put a hoof under Anon's chin, angling his head to look at her directly. "You can have a bright future here, Anon. But for that to happen, you must want it to happen." His eyes were hopeful, with a hint of doubt. "How about this: we will meet each Saturday, and discuss how our week's been over a cup of tea. How does that sound?"

"That sounds... lovely." Anon was both fond and afraid of the idea. "But... I wouldn't want to bother you. I mean, all this, for little old me? Aren't there more important things to worry about?"

"Don't you get it, Anon? You are important to me. Never doubt that." Celestia enveloped Anon in a tight hug, putting her head onto his shoulder. Both cherished the serene moment, one that always passed a little early, no matter what. The two parted, a passing wind carrying the smell of pastries reminding them of the occasion that brought them together.

"I think we better go inside, before Twilight thinks I kidnapped you, or something." Celestia noticed his sly smile, but didn't comment on it.

"Indeed, Twilight tends to... Overreact at times."

Now at the porch of Sugarcube corner, Anon rushed in front of the mare, grabbing the door handle.

"Allow me, Your Highness." Celestia rolled her eyes, but chose to play along, letting the man open the door for her, a staggeringly loud glam rock tune hitting her at full blast.

And then she walked in looking like dynamite
She said now come along, boogaloo through the night
And by the way she's moving, well, Dyna might
Might she not, with all she's got
She's got the whole town lighting up dynamite
Nobody quite knowing what to do, wrong or right
But they all know Celly is dynamite
And they're right

Momentarily confused, Celestia was brought out of her reverie by a rancorous laughter of Pinkie and Anon, the two giving each other a high five, before approaching the diarch. Most of the townsfolk had already left by that point, leaving only the elements to gawk at the confused mare, the latter's gaze drawn to the double-layered chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

"Hope that didn't scare you too bad." Anon was the first to speak, a glass of whiskey in hand. "When Pinkie told me she could arrange for any kind of music for the party, I couldn't help but indulge myself a little." Pinkie, the hyperactive menace that she is, was by Anon's side in a moment, practically vibrating in place.

"Hiya Princess! It wasn't too loud, was it? Nonny wanted to do something special, so I helped him rig this super-surprise!" The partymare practicaly radiated excitement, infecting everyone around her.

Anon waved his hand at Pinkie. "Meh, the pink menace did all the work. I've got no idea what black magic she used to replicate that song one to bloody one, but I'm not complaining." He took a sip of his drink, savoring the taste as a familiar taste passed his throat. "We even made a cake! Well, more like she made it, all the while stopping me from ruining it."

"So, didja like it?!" While Pinkie was being her usual bundle of joy, Anon was hiding his nervousness under a mask of indifference. Too bad Celestia saw through it all too well.

"Thank you, Anon, Pinkie. That was wonderfully sweet of you." She leaned towards the man, laying her head on his shoulder and hugging him with her foreleg. Pinkie giggled at the blush that colored Anon's face, the latter hiding his embarrassment by emptying his glass.

As the relatively small group of creatures continued to party, Celestia finally realized just how much her little human meant for her.

Author's Note

I swear, this Anon/Celestia stuff is melting my brain. Curse you, Sunbutt! :trollestia:

~~I hope you enjoyed reading my story as much as I enjoyed writing it~~

Again, I don't have much experience writing touchy-feely stuff, so feel free to point ou anything that feels wierd/artificial.