'Catching' Cozy

Cozy might be short for a pony, but damn if she wasn't fast. Those wings of hers put in the overtime. Can't say they're hauling less weight, either. She's got flank. Phlank, even.

Now, I'm pretty confident that I keep up my athleticism enough. I eat good, I'm up and down at good hours, lot's of stairs, workout every few days, and 'cardio' with Cozy. One, minor, itty bitty, crucial problem though.

Didn't do my morning stretches. A fatal mistake that's going to cost me a day's worth of peace. Legs sore, lungs burn, sweaty... overall, no fun. I'm still in what's borderline my pajamas, too.

Shit, I'm not as young as I used to be. Alright, I'm not that old, either, but I'm damn well gonna use that excuse. I've got kids, I can get away with it.

Hunched over against my knees, huffing and puffing for breath, I'm probably about three quarters of the way there, dabbing the sweat from my brow with a sleeve. Ponyville was coming into view a few minutes ago with it's innumerable cottages, just downhill. Cozy works at the City Hall, smack in the center, just off the side of the plaza -- honestly, we got a real good deal with our little lot. Plenty of space without needing to worry about neighbors, and the commute isn't terrible at all. Fifteen minutes for Cozy into town, about ten for me to reach the School, same with our kids...

Hang on. As I'm squinting out towards the quiet, sunrise-speckled pony town, I see a familiarly-colored Pegasus flapping back up this way. Yep, wouldn't mistake those curls anywhere.

And she is cursing up a storm, goddamn. I can hear her from here. She's combining pony slang with the stuff she's heard me say, and that's how I know she is goddamn livid.

"Buck, buck, shit-slinging useless no-good -- what's the one Arny says, Fuck? Fuck. FUCK!" I hear her, progressively getting closer and louder. She's too busy angrily flailing hooves around and punching air to notice me, and she's flying right over my head, headed right back to the house. Probably best not to let her get there... but that means redirecting a lot of latent anger my way.

Oh well, the things we do for love.

"Damn, Ma'am! Where do you think you're going with all that flank!?" I yell out in the smarmiest tone I can muster, making no effort to hide the shit-eating grin.

Cozy pumps the air-brakes so hard I'm surprised she doesn't leave skid marks in the sky, coming to a complete stop. It's like a horror film, the way her head slowly turns with an outright furious glare scouring for the source of that catcall; like all that bottled rage just popped, her teeth grit in a snarl that tells how she's about to break whoever said it in half. I swear, it's hard to see from here, but I'm certain her teeth get sharper, wings flaring out.
"GOLL-Y!" She growls. "SOME-PONY MUST WANNA DI--"

She pauses, confused as her gaze falls to the sole other occupant of the long, quiet road that leads up to our house, recognizing me. Man, she even broke out the Golly. That little number only comes out for sarcasm and outright murderous rage.

I wave, smiling.
"Hey, hon! Forgot something?" I 'ask', hoisting up her saddle bag -- effortlessly (not at all) playing off how out of breath I am.

In a moment, she's swooped right down to my face, grabbing my shoulders with her hooves, flapping in place. For once, her face is... soft. It's not often I see her without that cute scrunchy frown to her face.

She takes a long, measured breath with closed eyes, just like her anger management classes taught her.
"Arny." She says simply.

"Yes, Cozy?" I return, my tone far more playful.

"I was this close to ending you." She states, completely deadpan. "You're lucky that stupid grin of yours is so recognizable."

Pfft. Like she wouldn't recognize her favorite biped.
"Hot." I chuckle dumbly.

"No, not 'Hot', Arny. I'm being serious. I was about to turn you into a paste." She says firmly.

"...Are you flirting with me, Miss Glow?" I ask coyly, an eyebrow raising.

"...You have issues." Cozy groans, rolling her eyes.

"That didn't sound like a no." I purr, pressing my nose to hers. That breaks her deadpan stare, that little nose-scrunch returning as those lovely eyes roll in mock annoyance.

"...You have serious issues." She aptly corrects, scoffing.

"Well, we both do -- and I think it's why we work so well together." I muse. She chuffs, pulling her nose away.

"Are you saying I have issues, Arny?" She glares at me, leaning back to scowl.

"Stable ponies don't break into homes waving knives around."

"Something you're oh-so-fond of continually bringing up." She tsks, the face-scrunch returning. I love the way it dents her freckles.

"Of course I am. It's the first time I laid my eyes on the most beautiful pony I'd ever seen." I follow, tracing her cheek with my thumb.

Cozy purses her lips, that scowly little nose scrunch softening ever so slightly.
"Hrm." She hums, refusing to comment any further, eyeing me over. "Where are the kids?"

I jostle the saddlebag, pursing my lips expectantly.
"Alexander is taking his sisters to school, lunches packed. Only one left to worry about is this sweet little freckled lady in front of me."

"Well... thank you, for bringing it. As much as I hate to be percieved as inept, the Mayor... did excuse me for another half an hour to retrieve my bag. Apparently the other cabinet members are... also running late." She mutters, one of her hooves pressing against my chest. Her pride was a big thing for her, especially since she had such an uphill battle in proving herself as a Ponyville resident.
"...Can't believe you ran after me in your pajamas." Cozy snorts, looking me over.

"I'd go anywhere for you, in anything, shortflank. You best remember that." I whisper.

Cheesy, sure. But it works. I see the smile start to crack that face.

"Yeah, I know." She retorts quietly.

"All the way up to the Moon, to even the lowest depths of Tartarus." I continue, dramatically raising a hand up, before letting it fall.

"Arny, you know you can't actually get to either." My oh-so supportive and darling Wife reminds me.

"If they put you on the moon, I'd simply invent a rocket ship to go get you. Tape Twilight to a log, aim it down, and have her laser me up into the sky..." I joke, getting a short giggle from Cozy.

"What, you wouldn't overthrow the Princess and force her to bring me back?" She tsks, feigning disappointment.

"Nah, that's more your style, if they ever put me up there. Instead, I'd teach you about Kinetic Bombardment before we go back, after bringing some Tungsten Rods up with me." I chuckle.

"And just what is that? Sounds... lethal." She mumbles, a touch more breathy than before. She's hovering closer and closer.

"Oh, dropping an object so it achieves terminal velocity and precision-strikes a target with enough force to level a small city, while burying hundreds of feet into the ground, destroying any hidden structures. Just imagine the damage it would incur on Canterlot. It might even level the entire mountain it was built on."

My darling wife, the very rehabilitated villain, gasps softly.

"...Arny, are you talking dirty to me right now?" She purrs, the hoof she placed on my chest sliding down to my stomach.

"Am I? Is the discussion of the complete and utter annihilation of Canterlot..."

"Mm..."

"...Or the fall of and subsequent ruin of the Princesses..."

"Hoh..."

"...Maybe even watching the Elements turn on each other, as they scramble to recover?"

"Arny."

"Yes, love?"

Cozy quickly glances around, before she yanks me roughly off the road, wings flapping. I stumble along after her, an inkling of an idea where this might be going. She's pulling me off the path, towards the forest line that speckles the grass just a few feet away.

Oh, hey. I think I recognize this tree. Wonder why.

"Pants off."

Ah, that's why. The 'did not make it home in time' tree. We've stopped here a few times over the years -- yeah, there's the little carving from our first time. C + A. She did that, actually. The C has an evil little crown and is twice the size of the A of course, but I dig the sentiment.

"You sure you got time, Cozy? We --" I try to retort, but one hell of a scowl is thrown my way.

"If you don't let me suck your dick, I am going to kill you." She growls; until she yanks my waistband off, my member slapping her on her nose.

We're both quiet, staring at it.

"...Did that just make you harder?" She mumbles.

"Told you we both have issues."

Further words aren't really needed, as Cozy launches up and slams into my torso, wrapping her hooves around my neck; the ensuing kiss is anything but careful or measured, sloppily carrying us to the bush-hidden grass for some pre-work relief.

Cozy was late for work, obviously -- but in a much better mood. I consider that a win, even if that means I'll be hosting my classes from my chair today, courtesy of that Phlank.