The life and times of an Everfree mystery: The other side of the Everfree.

by Wafflegodman

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Romance, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1205

Co-story to The life and times of an Everfree mystery. This is the story of the antagonist.

(Minor shipping, music heavily involved) You know about the Everfree forest don't you? Well it's a strange place that has never been fully explored…but you should have already heard something similar. This is the Co-story of The life and times of an Everfree mystery. Instead of hearing about John from Lyra though, you get to hear about a different being, and In my opinion… a much, much, cooler being. (You should read the first few chapters of 'The life and times of an Everfree mystery' before Starting this, but you can do whatever you want, cause I'm totally not gonna be hiding in you closet with an ax if you don't)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-10 15:50:01 UTC

Son of a Sizznit!

(You should read the first few chapters of this Story before this one for the full experience!)

Right, let's get introductions out of the way, none of that dramatic crap Lyra pulled on you, okay? The name is Gilda, don't wear it out. Good, now that that's done I can start the dramatics!

The sun was high. The breeze was gentle. It was perfect weather for shooting at a courier from a helicopter with a rifle.

A man, Six feet and four inches tall, I ain't doing any of that metric shizznits Lyra did for you, was sitting in a news helicopter flying parallel to a courier on the most wanted list, sprinting across the rooftops of some sky scrapers. A battalion of cops was following the courier, or at least tried to follow. There were other helicopters in the air armed with speakers, they pleaded, and threatened the courier, but he didn't stop. Kilo, that's what the dude sitting in the helicopters' name is, knew the courier wouldn't stop, it was John after all.

Sorry for slowing down this Intense action scene, but I don't know what was going through Lyra's head making you wait to hear John's name. She'd probably say it was her sense of dramatics... HORSE SHIT, that's what I say. Anyway....

Kilo saw John pull out his Mp3 player, and silently chuckled to himself. After a second of watching the cops on foot loose distance, he pulled out some sun glasses he always carried with him. He put them on, and then he aimed through the scope on his rifle, and put the cross-hairs over Johns head. He squeezed the trigger and sent a bullet straight into an air vent. The sights were way off, and at this realization Kilo said "Son of a bitch." silently to himself. He took the scope off instead of adjusting it, and took aim once again. John had stopped, and this was his chance. He squeezed off another round, almost hitting John, and cursed. John jumped off the rooftop and straight into a river a hundred plus feet below him.

Kilo threw his gun to the side, and hung out the side of the helicopter. It circled around the area where John should have landed, and Kilo spotted him. Without thinking Kilo jumped out of the helicopter, and prepared to hit the rushing water.

I think this is a fair time to mention that Kilo has a bit of a beef with John. Kilo has spent the last year and a half trying to catch John, but was always just two steps behind him... but now, now was his chance.

Kilo hit the water and found himself next to John, who was blissfully unaware of Kilo. Kilo swam a little closer to John, but then tensed up. Colors filled his vision, and there was a little pain. The colors grew brighter, and Kilo said what John was thinking. "FUCK ME!"

Meanwhile, in a magical land of intelligent ponies, and ancient creatures of myth one might tell a child about that was too excited to go to bed. A team of the Griffon Empires greatest fliers were preparing to do a flyover of the Everfree forest. A bulky guy named Zeek, Me, and one of the few ponies who were citizens of the Griffon Empire, a pegisus named Lightning Frost, were all getting hyped for the flyover of the Everfree tomorrow... it was something that has never been done before.

Remember Kilo, of course you do, if you didn't, I recommend finding the nearest medical facility in your area and BASHING YOUR HEAD AGAINST IT'S WALL A FEW TIMES!

Now as I was saying, you remember Kilo, well he was just waking up from a dream about a dog made of watermelon. He got up and wiped the dirt off his trench coat, that's when he noticed his surroundings... trees, trees as far as the eye can see, and no real path. Then he noticed that it was very, very, cloudy.

I feel I should inform you that It was full day before John woke up, but...whatever.

Then some lightning flashed through the dark clouds above him, and he saw a black dot start increasing in size. That dot was me, and yes I did get hit by lightning, and let me tell you... it hurts like a bitch! Once Kilo noticed the object (Me) was heading straight for him, he ducked for cover. But I hit him dead in the chest anyway. We slid across the ground and Kilo hit the back of his head against a tree, rendering him... uh... what's the word?... Oh! Right. Fucked up so bad he won't wake up for another few hours. As for me... I was struck by fucking lightning! How do you think I was doing?

(A few hours later)

I started to wake up, and the first thing I noticed was my burned and broken wings, the second was the strange creature I was on top of, and the third was three dragons that were as big as the one John faced. The dragons all roared in unison creating such a loud sound that I'm sure any glass near the area shattered. Kilo jumped up, and I was tossed to the side, but I was still focused on the dragons.

"What the fuck?!" Kilo said as he looked at me, and then the dragons.

"Играть нам песню, и спасти вашу жизнь!" the three dragons said.

I didn't understand a single sound that came out of the dragons at the time, but Kilo knew it. It took him some time but he ruffly made out 'Play music' and 'save life'. The language was Russian, and Kilo used to speak it quite fluently, but it had been years ago.

"Listen, I may just be on a PCP trip, but even if this is real, I don't have an instrument!" Kilo yelled back at the dragons, who have seemed to be more menacing by the second.

The dragons smiled, and blew three streams of fire in front of Kilo. A gold, and black bow appeared out of the flames.

"Сделать это легендарные!" (Make it legendary!) The dragons cried.

Kilo new the phrase well, his father said it all the time before he died. Kilo picked up the bow,and a violin appeared. He brought the instrument to his chin, and phantoms appeared, and surrounded him. "Yeah, this is totally a PCP trip." He said to himself with a smile.

He raised a the bow to the strings and played.

A/N: Don't worry, authors notes won't be common, but I wanted to tell you to just comment in this story, or the original, on whether or not you are for team Kilo and Gilda, or team John and Lyra. Also, this story is by me, I'll go as KG, not by the author of the original, Who I'll refer to as JL. We are both part of Wafflegodman productions, and thought that writing a story together would be fun... but it turns out we hate each others way of writing, so I am making this, and JL is going to continue writing the first one.