Polyamory is a Surprisingly Effective Solution to the Housing Shortage 2

Twilight stared at herself in the bathroom mirror because she was too afraid to face the conversation going on outside.

“Is seven inches enough?” Pinkie Pie had asked Sunset Shimmer.

“I don’t know. If it’s for all of us, it might be best to just go with the ten inch one.”

Silly thoughts kept darting transcendentally in Twilight’s mind as she brushed her teeth. Maybe Sunset had a new art project, and they’re looking at canvas sizes. Maybe Pinkie wanted to buy a giant candy bar. Or maybe it was the height of a Funko Pop they wanted. But in her heart, Twilight knew it wouldn’t be anything like those. This was not the start to her day that she wanted. But it has been the norm for a while now. With seven young women under a single roof, the extent of their depravity, their debauchery, had no control or filter.

“That’s pretty big, even for me,” Pinkie said. “We’d probably need everyone’s help with it if we got that one.”

Everyone’s help? Twilight ducked her head out of the bathroom. “Ayo! What we talking about out there? Ten inches?”

“Twilight, you’re awake!” Pinkie announced, her eyes glistening with wolfish amusement. “What’s the matter, you think ten inches would be too big? We could get a seven-incher, but I don’t think I’d be satisfied if I didn’t try it.”

Rinsing her mouth and setting down her toothbrush, Twilight walked into the living room. “I don’t even know what I’d do with ten inches,” she said. “It’s too big. Go with seven, for our sake.”

“Don’t be silly, Twilight, no one expects you to handle it alone,” Pinkie replied, waving her caution away. “Sunset and I can definitely help you.”

Twilight’s face reddened. “Help how?”

Just then, out from the bedroom opposite the bath, Rainbow Dash walked out into the hall. Her hair was a knotted mess after another long night with Applejack and Rarity. “It’s too early, Pinkie. What are you talking about?”

“Ordering stuff online,” Sunset said. “What do you think, Rainbow? Is seven inches enough, or should we get ten?”

“Seven?” Rainbow Dash paused, slowly glancing back to Rarity and Applejack’s room. “Not that I’d ever back down from a challenge, but we should keep everyone in mind. Maybe six?”

“They don’t sell six inches,” Sunset said.

“Oh, is that so?” Laughing nervously, Rainbow Dash continued into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “That’s fine. I can totally handle ten inches, but can I take a look just to make sure?”

“Yeah. Here you go.”

“Woah,” Rainbow said as she saw whatever was on the screen, her eyebrows arching as high as possible. “That’s pretty impressive. Sure, get what makes you happy.”

Was Rainbow bluffing? Twilight pondered. Or had she misjudged the situation? It was hard to tell. This scene was not more unusual than anything else that happened in their house the past year.

It typically went like this: Whenever Applejack or Pinkie Pie would propose a challenge, almost inerrantly Rainbow Dash would snicker and shout back with a ridiculous claim. She was always unwilling to seem the lesser compared to anyone. When they began, Twilight had been curious, especially at Rainbow’s apparently inexhaustible endurance, and included it among her personal studies and observations. But this time, throwing out the prospect of ten inches so casually seemed too carelessly brazen, even for Rainbow.

“What’s with the face?” Pinkie asked her. “You look worried.”

Because I don’t want to be wrong, Twilight thought to herself, but I don’t want to be right, either. If the situation wasn’t what it so obviously sounded like, they’d all think she was a pervert like the rest of them. But what else could it be? Twilight wracked her mind, but it was their fault for putting thoughts like that in her head.

She didn’t use to. Twilight was fine as a passive observer to the carnal release others so desperately craved. It was an infrequent occurrence for her, simply because there were better endeavors to pursue—paths of science and discovery, pure and untainted. And yet, like a middle schooler hearing “that’s what she said” for the first time, she couldn’t get her mind to focus.

“Good morning girls. Is everything alright?” Fluttershy’s voice came from the front door like an angel singing grace. Her return from a late night shift at the zoo was a true stroke of luck. Despite her proclivities, Fluttershy was still a fair and modest lady, and Twilight had full confidence that she would feel the same about Pinkie and Sunset’s conversation.

“How about we ask her? It’s for all of us, isn’t it?”

“Great idea,” Pinkie said. “Hey Flutters. What do you think, is ten inches too big?”

Fluttershy blinked and stood in the doorway stunned.

Yes! Twilight thought. Of course someone as innocent as Fluttershy would be mortified by a sudden question like that. So, it’s not just me.

Fluttershy tilted her head in ponderance. “Just ten? Seems kind of small.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped. She accepted it so easily! “Now hang on a minute! Rainbow might go over the top, but this is too far even for you, Fluttershy!”

Sunset looked over her shoulder. “Huh? You okay? What are you talking about?”

“Am I okay? Me? Just look at what we’re talking about! I don’t even know what to say. We’ve gone too far! Yes, that’s the rub. Even Fluttershy isn’t phased anymore. Can’t you see? We’re sinking further into depravity by the day. It doesn’t matter what size it is—and in fact, most women need external stimulation just as much or maybe even more, so it doesn’t have to be big. A simple five is fine. Six is great! We don’t need to risk ten inches, that’s pain territory! I’m out!”

Twilight’s final words hung in the air as the others gave only silence in response. Slowly, they looked at each other, and finally Sunset spoke up.

“So… you don’t want cheesecake?”

“What?”

She showed Twilight her phone. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake are having a cheesecake sale. What did you think we were talking about?” Twilight felt her face flush with heat, and Sunset simply smiled. “Perv.”

“It’s not my fault. It’s not.” Twilight crumpled onto the sofa and buried her face in her hands, muttering to herself. “I’ve been twisted by all your degeneracy.”