Chaotic Cannibals

by GryphonG

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Tragedy, Shining Armor, Discord, Princess Celestia, Human
Length: 2167

Discord on Earth during a zombie apocalypse

Discord is cursed back into his stone prison. Some time after, Celestia is going through some old spells. Accidentally discharging one, she sends Discord to our Earth. Problem? There is a zombie apocalypse going on.

Published 2012-11-26 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-28 18:47:10 UTC

Chapter 1: Survivors

It was another sunny day in the Cantelot Gardens as Discord stood in his frightened pose.Meanwhile in the castle, Princess Celestia looked ferociously through the Star Swirl the Birded's library of spells. She  was searching for a special cell,one that could disable any and all influences going in and out of Discord's stone prison. Had she of found this earlier, the fillies wouldn't have assisted Discord's escape the first time. The day had been wasted quickly as the pile of scrolls grew taller after each failed attempt on the fake Discord manikins.

After she decided to give up for the day, she walked out of the library with a depressed expression. She didn't notice the lonely scroll on the ground in front of her hoof. She slipped and fell on her back. Her horn accidentally discharged a spell from her horn that she had learned hours ago that she thought was weird for Star Swirl to know. It flew out the window that was just being closed by a guard.

"What the?" the guard was stunned to almost be struck by the mysterious light. The spell went through the air as it started to do an arch downward, into the gardens. It was about a couple meters away from Discord's statue before it exploded, sending Discord's statue on to the cold, hard ground. Shattering it instantly.

Discord tried to flinch but obviously couldn't. Yet, he could feel something moving that was his. He opened his eyes. He saw he was in a light tunnel. He looked down at his body

"Free at last!" He yelled as he started shuffling in place. After a minute or two of just dancing wildly, he started to calm down. He laid down as if in a hammock.

"Ahhh, this is the life a creature like me deserves!" Discord laughed. All of a sudden, he felt extreme pain. His body started to transform. He grew two equally sized legs, both skinnier than the lion's. From each leg grew a foot, then five toes. He got new arms,same as the legs, they were the same size and looked the same. He grew large palms and grew more fingers on each hand. He grew a new horn between his legs while the ones on his head disappeared. Under his new "horn" was a floppy piece of hairy skin. Discord's head went completely round before a human chin, nose, hair, eyes, and ears grew. His scaly body turned fleshy, but buff. He grew a small 6-pack and biceps like the typical beach buff guy. Hair grew on  his torso and nipples came from his biceps.

"OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!" Discord screamed in pain. It finally ended as the light tunnel came to an end. Discord had his eyes closed in pain. He felt the ground beneath him. Something was also present, a moaning sound. In the distance was a faint motor sound. They both got louder as the moaning turned into a roar. Discord opened his eyes, seeing some weird bipedal creature with blank white and glazed eyes slowly limping towards him. He got scared when he saw the ripped clothing and blood stain on the mysterious creature. Discord tried to back up, only to be stopped by the incline behind him. He realized he was in a crater. He started to look around for a weapon for self defense. All he saw was a large white shelf, a counter with an old register, an obliterated window where the crater began, and an old door. He started to realize he was in an old store. The creature drew closer and fell into the deep crater, face planting on the dirt. It looked up as a new cut appeared from the destroyed nose and cheek area.

"Ge-get away!" Discord exclaimed as the creature seemed to ignore him. The motor noise eventually got so loud, it was stopped by a screeching sound. Then there were fast footsteps

"GO GO GO!" was all Discord heard before there was a loud BANG BANG and RATATATAT. The creature was now right over his face and looked at Discord. It opened its mouth and was just about to bite Discord's chest before a loud BANG forced Discord to closed his eyes. He peeked through one eye and saw the creature had stopped. Discord shoved him off, seeing a large round hole in the creature's forehead.

"Are ya all right?" A male voice asked from the doorway, 357. revolver pointed at the now dead creature.

"I-I'm fine." Discord nervously answered as he tried to stand up.

"By god, son! Where's your shame?"

"Huh?

"Your private business is sticken out!"

"Is this what it is?" Discord asked as he started to play around with his new "horn".

"Do you have amnesia or somethin'?"

Discord thought for a moment."Yeah."

"Hmm, are ya being smart with me boy?" the man asked.

"I-I don't know. I just got here."

There Discord was, riding in the back of a green pickup truck.

"So." Discord said as he stared at the destroyed buildings and downed power lines.

"So." Said the southern accented man.

"What's going on?"

"You don't know?"

"What?"

"Zombies, death, chaos."

"That's it huh?"

The two girls in the back both said,"Yup" in unison.

To him, this was amazing, better than his terror on Ponyville. But this was also sad to him too. Living things were dieing  because of this mess.

"You know I'm the spirit of chaos and Discord."

The guy driving rolled his eyes.

"So what is this?"

"What?" The guy looked at Discord, avoiding his crotch region.

"This carriage, it is not powered by anything?"

"Besides savaged gasoline, a lot of Duct Tape, and a whole lot of hope? Nothing."

"This, I have always seen some kind of horse or somepony driving a carriage."

"Somepony? This isn't a carriage, it's a Ford."

"Ford." Discord said to himself.

After maybe 10 minutes of driving, he saw a large metal fence laced with barbed wire with corpses lying on the ground near the outside of the fence. They were similar in skin tone to the one that almost bit him.

"Where are we?" Discord asked as he tried to get comfy in his new underwear given to him from his new friend, Dunken.

"Survivor Paradise." Was all Dunken said before he made a sharp turn and drove into a stone driveway. Discord had looked around through the window and saw what we would think of as a trailer park. Only everyone had guns and there was a market place towards the center of everything. Dunken let Discord out the driver's side door after folding the seat forward. There was a small log cabin in front of the driveway.

"Ya can sleep with us for the night." Dunken looked at Discord before getting a towel and putting it around him. "Now tell me. What happened to ya?"

Discord had walked in with Dunken and who he guessed were his two daughters. He took a seat in an old recliner. One of the girls named Lucy gave him Dunken's old pair of jeans. There was a cracked mirror next to the chair. Discord touched it and then himself."Where are my horns?" Discord mumbled to himself.

"So, what are you doing falling from the sky and not having a clue on what's going on?"

"Well, it started when I was a statue. Just that past week I was reversing gravity and causing chocolate rain in a nearby town. This town had been populated by talking ponies, pegasi, and unicorns."

Dunken had stopped drinking his newly opened Budlight and just stared at Discord.

"What was your name again?" Dunken interrupted.

"Discord" Discord said as he shuffled around in his pants.

"Good ta know your life's story matches ya name." Dunken said while tipping back his alcoholic drink.

Discord chuckled a bit as he thought that he might like life here better than in Equestria. He might find some friends who like his style. Chaotic.

Before anyone could speak another word, Discord's stomach roared with starvation. Grasping his stomach, Discord stared up at Dunken.

"Heh, hungry?" Dunken teased as he got up and walked into the small kitchen. Discord glared at the mirror one last time before being tossed an ice cold Pepsi Max. Discord was caught off guard and juggled the can in his hand before finally catching it in his right hand. He pulled the metal tab with his left after finding out how to open it. It exploded in his face with white foam. Everyone in the room broke out into laughter. Discord joined in on the laughter before taking a sip. The sugary drink was like chocolate milk plus awesomeness times a million.

"Now, what to feed ya." Dunken rubbed the thin hairs on his chin before hatching an idea light bulb above his head. Going back into the kitchen, he picked up an old paper brown bag and put something in it. He walked back out and gave the bag to Discord? Discord then opened the flaps to see a few oranges and a banana.

"Eat up, friend. You'll need it."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This is the first chapter of my new story.

Don't think I won't take suggestions and fixes

that you guys find. Please, if you find ANY mistakes

please tell me! Thank you

Chapter 2: True form

Discord had already peeled and eaten most of the oranges. He had just peeled the banana when the door busted open.

"Dunken! They are coming!" A guy, skinny, wearing a red plaid shirt with cargo jeans. Blood stained gloves on his hands.

"Where?" Dunken shot up.

"The main gate, there were a few at first!"

"Wait, were ya on gate duty?"

The guy nervously chuckled,"Maybe?"

"Dammit Joey!"

"Look, can you help or not?"

"Who here knows?"

"The entire town, they are fighting them right now."

"How many?"

"Around sixty."

"Well shit! The last time that many attacked here was almost two months ago!" Dunken glared at Discord,"Follow me, boy!"

Discord did as he was told as they sprinted in to Dunken's room where a large cabinet filled with rifles and other guns and equipment lie. Dunken proceeded to grab a blood stained M1014 shotgun and an old World War 2 Nazi Dreyse M1907. He pulled out a large drawer on the bottom and pulled out a modified M18 Smoke grenade. It originally said SMOKE RED. Duct tape covered that and it now said HYDROCHLORIC GAS.

Dunken then pulled out a Sig P229 and gave it to Discord. "Point and pull the trigger." Dunken said in a rushed tone as he gathered ammo. There was a sudden scream and everything went silent. Then a crack and splatter. Weak moans were heard down stairs. "Joey!" Dunken whispered in a surprised and worried gasp.

He pulled Discord to the bed and told him to hide beneath it. He opened the door slowly, his Dreyse raised and inspected the small hallway. He backed up towards the girl's room. Suddenly a head came into view beyond the stairway. Then a neck, torso, and before Dunken knew it there was a limping cadaver staring and moving towards him. He lined up the shot but didn't fire. He was the only biter who has seen him so far and he didn't know how many were downstairs. The girl's room door opened and he backed his way in. The girls were in their closet on the otherside of the room. Dunken closed the door, locking it, and soon there was a thump and whack against the wooden barrier between life and death.

Discord was curious. He pulled himself off the floor and moved towards the door. He slowly opened it. The cadaver noticed Discord and reached for him. Discord backed away as the beast walked inside the room.

"Back away you heathen!" Discord commanded, pulling up the gun but not knowing how to aim or use it. More bodies walked up the stairs towards Discord's loud voice.

Dunken and the girls listened with horror and anticipation as Discord and the cannibalistic beasts were the only sounding things in the house.

Discord became worried. That was when his chaotic instinct filled in. He grew an evil smile as all Hell poured into him as Earth's Hell was about to seem like Heaven. The bed disappeared in a flash and appeared above the beast. It growled before becoming pancaked. The door was poofed away from its hinges and thrown like throwing blade into the beasts who all split into two and fell, permanently dead. Discord's human body and mind was overwhelmed and it was suddenly shed, like butter off of a hot lightbulb. He laughed as a coincidental lightning bolt flashed behind him. His flexibility and thin body form returned and his un-alike creature parts collected to the clusterfuck of a body.

Dunken unlocked and opened the door. HE looked at the blood and gore around him and entered the room Discord was located. His jaw dropped