Ponycraft: The Maw of Insanity

Carees woke up solo in his bed. As he looked around, he noticed the bathroom door was closed and the light was on. He looked out the window and thought to himself. Today's the day. We might be off to Ulduar today.

As the bathroom door opened, Ruby came out with odd arching things covering her ears. A wire led from the arching thing to a silver device with a dial on it sticking out of her pants. Ruby leaned against a wall and crossed her legs. “'bout time you woke up.” she said.

Carees squinted at her. “Uhhh... what is on your head?”

Ruby looked shocked. “You don't know what an Ipod is? Jeez, your planet is behind the times. It's a music player!”

Carees lifted one eyebrow. “I sure don't hear anything.”

Ruby face-palmed. “That's cause my head-speakers are plugged in. How do you even rock out without this thing? You know about rock-bands, right?”

Carees nodded. “Yeah, we got a hard rock band in Azeroth. They call themselves The Tauren Chieftains. Cannon loves them.”

“Well, I listen to stuff that's a tad harder than hard rock. Back on Earth, I used to listen to bands such as Nightwish, Sonata Arctica, and a one man band named Celldweller. I just needed to listen to some Nightwish after a while. I always thought my taste in music was so different that I would never get a boyfriend, but now it looks like the song “Wish I Had an Angel” is pointless to me.”

“Harder than hard rock? What's harder than that?”

“Metal.”

“Oh.... right. Where's Berry and Cannon?”

Ruby nudged the headphones so one ear was open. It was so loud, Carees could hear the static guitar from where he sat. “Went down for breakfast. You slept 'till 10:45, and you're usually the first one up. Were your dreams really that good?”

Carees looked up as he remembered beating Whiteberry flawlessly in a duel and Ruby pouncing all over her hero with sexual intention in his dream. “Heh. Yep.”

“I saw that.” Ruby winked, flipping her hair.

Carees snapped his fingers in frustration and humiliation. "Dang it.”

Ruby giggled. “Come on, mister womanizer. Time to go get some breakfast. We meet the king at 2 o'clock?”

Carees nodded.

“Then before we go, let's have some breakfast. Come on, lazy.”

_____________________________________________________________________

The heroes stood still before the King of Stormwind, who was facing out toward the distance. The church bells rung in an adventurous manner.

“Are you all prepared for Ulduar?” The King asked as the church bells came to a stop.

The heroes nodded with various, quiet agreement phrases. All except for Fluttershy, of course. The king looked to Jaina at his left and nodded.

“I will prepare the portal to Ulduar for you. There, you will meet a dwarf by the name of Brann Bronzebeard. He is the leader of the forces that are excavating Ulduar. He looks very much like you, Cannon.” Jaina said as she began to summon the portal.

“Aye, I knew the lad in high school. He always examined everything, even if it would get him a kick-in-the-rear by the lassies.” Cannonbolt said. Smiling. “Them were good times.”

Jaina's lighted hands faded as light tore a hole in the physical realm. The portal was almost too bright to look at.

“Through here is Ulduar. On behalf of King Varian Wrynn and of the Alliance, I wish you luck.” Jaina bowed.

“Thank you, my lady. Your majesty, we will NOT fail you.” Carees assured his leader.

“I sense something more powerful than even Yogg-Saron in Ulduar. Be on your guard, for I do not know what it is or if it is hostile.” King Varian warned them.

Carees nodded as they all leaped through the portal, Fluttershy going in last. Before Fluttershy was able to get into the portal, Highlord Mograine stopped her.

“Wait! Fluttershy, I must ask of you something.”

Fluttershy turned to her right to face her leader and saluted.  “Yes, my lord?”

“On behalf of me, I order you...” Darian paused. Fluttershy blinked twice. “... I order you to knock Yogg-Saron into the next millennium.”

Fluttershy smiled as she jumped into the portal. The light closed behind them. Darian put his fist in his palm. “Show him what a real Death Knight is made of.”

_____________________________________________________________________

They all landed with a thud on a glass-like floor. Footsteps were edging near them... tiny footsteps. A voice spoke in an accent almost as thick as Cannon's.

“Well, if it isn't our heroes! Honestly, I wasn't expecting there to be this many!”

They all looked somewhat up to see a orange bearded dwarf in excavating gear. He looked much like Cannonbolt. Cuddles rushed up and roared with happiness as he ran over to lick the dwarf.

“Ahaha! Cuddles, lad! It has been a while! 'ow ye doin'?” The dwarf said as he scratched the raptor's chin.

A roar of absolute happiness came out of Cuddles.

“Aye! Hallo there, Brann!” Cannonbolt waved.

“'Ey, Cannon! How ya doin'?” Brann waved back.

“Not bad, not bad. Ye ready to kill the God of Madness?” Cannon joked.

“Hell yeh! I'm more ready than a night elf hooker on LSD!” Brann laughed a hard, crackly laugh.

“Oh, Brann... I miss ye and yer inappropriate humor.”

“Yeh. Oh, hello, Carees! 'Ow ye doin', laddie?”

“Could be worse. Could be better, though.” Carees responded emotionlessly.

“Aww, yer still a big bummer, Carees! No lass will ever fall fer ye with that king o' humor.” Brann responded. That got Ruby's attention, and boy oh boy did she respond to it.

“He's got no humor, huh? Never get a girl? Too late to the party, short stuff! I've been through more with him then you will EVER have with ANY girl! It's not every day a guy gets to date the most powerful being in the universe, either, now is it? Better watch your mouth, Mr. Toolbox Beard. I'm Ruby Black, his girlfriend and partner. I could destroy you in less than a second, so WATCH IT!” Ruby ranted.

“And before you get to Cannon, I'm Berry Punch, HIS girlfriend! And this is our grade A frost Death Knight, Fluttershy.” Berry shifted toward the shy elf.

“Umm... hi...” Fluttershy squeaked.

Brann looked over to Cannon. “Will ye slap me and tell me just what happened?”

After a brief slap across the face, Cannon summarized it. “Well, ye made fun of the ultimate power of the universe, who's Carees' girlfriend, and you were introduced to our partners.”

Brann shook his head. “That's what I thought. Miss Ruby, I sincerely apologize. It just be a dwarf's habit to make a joke such as that. No harm intended. Name's Brann Bronzebeard. I'm sure King Varian has told you about me here?”

“Of course, and apology accepted. So, what part of this huge place are we in, and where do we stand?” Ruby asked.

“A fine question, lass, but a bad answer comin' from me. We are in the Government Halls. We've breached the front and we are in Ulduar. Quite a beautiful place, eh?”

Berry nodded as she looked around. “Yeah, haven't seen anything like it... I wonder if this would look good at my bar as a design choice...”

Brann chuckled. “Oh, if a bar had this kind of outline in it, ye wouldn't be able to get me out o' it.”

Ruby squinted. “So why was that a bad answer?”

Brann sighed. “Well, we're stuck. Not stuck in digging, but stuck in battle. Our finest soldiers were taken down by the leaders of these here halls. We can't advance if they are in the way.”

“Do they have a name?” Ruby asked.

“The call themselves The Iron Council, and rightfully so. That's just what they are.”

Ruby looked up. “So, if we defeat the Iron Council, the structure of the iron... thingies... will fall apart!”

Brann nodded. “That's right! Just one problem. That problem is actually defeating the Council. They've destroyed a lot of our Earthen Dwarf army, and vanquished even the bravest of adventurers.”

“Uhh, dude? We beat a giant tank, a Destructionamanator robot thing, a dragon made of pure iron, and a giant by the name of Ignis the Furnace Master. This shouldn't be a problem.” Berry rebutted.

Brann flinched. “Ye lot beat THEM!? Well! Ye could be our key. Let me tell you, the Council is of the three main iron creations: Dwarf, Vrykul, and Giant. The Stormcaller is the Dwarf, the Vrykul is an all out warrior, and Steelbreaker is the giant. How do ye propose ye will beat them?”

Ruby smiled. “It's simple. Steelbreaker is obviously the dangerous one, so the two that can withstand the most hits, Carees, Berry, will handle them. The... Vry...kul... guy... thing... is obviously the second most dangerous, so Cannon and I will handle him. The dwarf might have a few tricks up his sleeve, but nothing too devastating. You said he was a Stormcaller, so the two that know the most about nature, Fluttershy, Cuddles, will handle him. Easy!”

“Easier said than done, lassie. Ye can't just walk in and expect everything to go as planned.” Brann objected.

“Well, duh. It never usually does! But with our teamwork, we can overcome even those obstacles!” Ruby said confidently.

“Well, if ye say so. When ye are ready, the Iron Council sits in the room at the end o' this monstrous hallway.”

“I'm ready NOW! I'ma go melt those guys!” Berry said enthusiastically.

“I am ready as well.” Carees said.

“...Umm.. anytime you all are prepared...” Fluttershy squeaked out.

“I be ready to kick some iron ass as well!” Cannonbolt yelled. Cuddles roared loudly behind him.

Ruby smiled. “Then let's go. We got a giant insane frog to kill, and nothing is gonna get in our way.”

Brann nodded. “I wish ye luck. I gotta get to the control room they be guarding to learn about this place's secrets. Yogg-Saron won't just go down as a tough enemy, there's a trick. A trick that we can find in that control room.”

Ruby chuckled. “Then let's find that secret.”

They all raced off down the hallway. On the way there, they passed many rocks that looked like pieces of dwarfs. Debating was heard in the room as they got closer. They were all ready and pumped to fight the Iron Council. They turned the corner and charged into the room.