Chapters Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
Intro: A bad day to be Jon Stewart.
Some people wake up and can immediately know if they will have a good or a bad day. For Jon, this day was in the latter category. A day where everything that could have gone wrong did, and for him it started the literal moment he woke up.
As a parent of two very young children, Jon's mornings usually started off with him waking up to the sound of something breaking or a fight brought about by some petty disagreement. This meant that he'd get up when they did, which was usually very early and indeed on this day he did just that. It wasn't because of any direct cause from Nathan and Maggie, but from his own body deciding that it would be best for him to wake him up almost two hours ahead of schedule.
Opening his eyes caused Jon to tilt his body to the side in order to avoid the ray of light that was beaming through a space in the window and directly onto his face. It was only when he did this that he realized he was alone in his comfy king-sized mattress. Tracey was nowhere to be found.
For Jon this wasn't too unheard of, since she usually got up to get things started before anyone else; himself especially. But nevertheless, he was never opposed to the idea waking up to the sight of his lovely wife's face, or indeed the warmth of her body against his.
That being said, Jon felt absolutely terrible. His body ached all over and his throat felt dry and uncomfortable like someone had been sliding a piece of sandpaper in and out of his esophagus while he slept. In addition, he felt weak, like his bones might break, and he was starting to get a headache. All this wasn't too uncommon for someone of his age, but even so, Jon already knew what all this meant; he was catching a cold.
Since he was up earlier than expected, Jon tried his hardest to go back to sleep. He still felt tired but his body was determined to stay awake. He tried closing his eyes, hiding under the covers, and placing a pillow over his head, but no degree of darkness could convince his body to hibernate.
The thought of laying around being unproductive may have guilted a lesser man to get up and do something worthwhile with their free time, but for a man as evolved as Jon the fact that he wasn't doing anything at this hour meant he was winning. That is, until his bladder told him that if he didn't leave for the nearest bathroom anytime soon he would regret it.
With a long, drawn out sigh, Jon flipped the covers from atop his body and in one motion leapt from his bed and stood straight up. In fact he did this in such a full motion that he got a head rush so powerful he almost fell back down on his pillowy mound.
He took a couple of steps forward and his joints creaked and popped appropriately in rhythm with a loose floorboard or two in his room. Most mornings started off like this to the point where it felt routine to him.
His head still felt as if it was filled with helium as he exited his room and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. He figured since he was already up he might as well take a shower; if nothing else it would help him fully wake up. As Jon continued shambling down the hallway he kept one hand against the wall for balance since his ailment had left him somewhat lopsided, which didn't help any when found himself now plummeting to the ground.
If Jon wasn't fully awake before, he was now. Even in his delirious state he could tell he was just a couple feet away from the bathroom, but before he actually had the chance to enter he had tripped over something and landed flat on his stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs. There was only one person in the area that could have checked to see if he was alright, but unfortunately that same person was the thing he tripped over.
"HEY!" It screamed. "Get off of me you blundering oaf!" Instead of getting up, Jon painfully rolled over to his back to see what he had tripped over. To his surprise, it was of course, Trixie, who had been waiting just outside the bathroom door.
"Ugh! Watch where you're going next time!" she demanded. Part of Jon's leg was still on her so she used her magic to fling it away. "I know you’re old and aren't as agile as you used to be but that's no excuse for such...clumsy behavior."
As much as Jon loved Trixie, he was not in the mood for this at moment.
"I'm fine by the way," Jon said, picking himself up. "Thanks for asking." As if to distance himself from her, he leaned against the wall opposite of the mare, the bathroom door placed in between them.
"Ahem!" Trixie said, making a motion to her flank. "The line starts here!" Jon didn't move, he instead looked to the side and cocked an ear to see if he could hear who was occupying the room.
"Who's in there?" Jon asked.
"Nathan," Trixie answered bluntly. "Tracey told him to wash his hands before he could eat breakfast." This time Jon looked ahead, off to where the railings were. He didn't hear the sound of cooking, nor could be smell anything; though, that may have been because of his congested nose.
"What are we having?" he asked.
"Waffles, ham, and jam toast for us," she answered, "and an apple with some granola for you...and maybe some cereal if Tracey says it's okay."
"Sounds yummy," Jon said in a placid tone. Throughout their little small talk, Trixie never made eye contact with Jon, as she was staring at the bathroom door with Zen-like focus. She then slowly moved her head to get a good look at him. He was rubbing his eyes and making noises like he was auditioning to voice a zombie in a movie.
"You look terrible, by the way," Trixie said. She didn't particularly care to see how he'd react, so she looked back at the door.
"Yeah, yeah, I love you too," Jon said in a tone of voice that was halfway between tired and annoyed. "I'd say the same about you but—"
"But the Great and Powerful Trixie looks great?" she said, flipping her mane to the side. "Why yes…Trixie already knows this."
"...I was going to see, but that would be mean." Jon continued. As much as he'd hate to admit it, she did have a point. By pony standards (a concept that Jon still didn't fully grasp) Trixie was still very youthful and vivacious. Even now, with the exception of slightly messy hair, she looked great for someone having just woken up not too long ago.
"Anyway, come back when you’re my age and see if you're still looking that good every morning," he added.
"Trust me I will!" Trixie argued. "A few decades from now when I'm an elder pony I’ll still be doing a better job of running this place than you. Then I'll have proved once and for all who the better one is." Jon seemed surprised about her confidence in that she'd still be here long after his departure.
"You really think you'll still be here by that time?" Jon asked. His somewhat poorly-worded question caused Trixie to give him a dirty look. "Not that I'm saying I wouldn't want you here for that long...believe you me when I say you're a part of this family I mean it, but...I mean don't you ever get homesick? Don't you ever miss your own world or want to go back to every now and again?"
Her dirty look didn't go away, instead she swung her head to the side and gave an audible snort as if she was a bull ready to charge.
"Hmph! Go back to that ungrateful world? I think not!" she snapped. "Why waste my time in a place that obviously doesn't want me...getting rejected everywhere I go by ponies who don't understand me...so no I don't miss my world...besides without me hanging around this place would fall apart."
Jon felt somewhat guilty for unintentionally bringing up her past. He remembered the interview he had with her which ultimately resulted in her being trapped in the human world. In it, he recalled how hard her life was growing up and how difficult it was trying to make it on her own. Ultimately, it worked out since she now had permanent residents in the Stewart house.
But even still, Jon knew her past wasn’t her favorite conversation topic, so to help make this less tense, Jon got down on one knee to match her eye level.
"Well, Trixie...always remember that...no matter what, you are a valued member of this family," Jon said. "And no matter what you do or where you go, you'll always have a home and a family here."
Jon's kind words felt as warm and inviting to Trixie as a blanket straight out of the dryer. Had it been any other person they would have respectively given the time to express their gratitude, but this was Trixie and her ego wouldn't allow it.
"Please, Stewart, do not act like I want to be here. My world may not be perfect but still..." she said in a smug tone. "If it weren't for those kids and the fact that I still haven't recovered all my magic, I probably would have left this dump a long time ago."
"Oh don't say that, Trixie," Jon said with a smile and forced sad tone. "You keep saying such things and you'll hurt my feelings!"
"Is that so?" she said. "Well, well, well! Had I known you were such a sensitive crybaby perhaps I would've gone easy on you...seriously though, such weakness if unbecoming of a man of your position."
Trixie was an expert at belittling people, but even her crass insults couldn't penetrate Jon's leather-thick skin; decades of dealing with hecklers at comedy clubs made sure of that. With her insult yielding no results, she trotted over to meet him face to face in one last ditch effort to get a rise out of him.
"Also," she said, jabbing her hoof into his stomach. "You’re fat." But again nothing. Jon just responded by petting Trixie on the head with a smile like what he'd give to his children whenever they presented him a crayon drawing. Clearly annoyed, Trixie walked back over to her original spot and sat down as if she was tired.
"You really don't fight back much, do you?" she asked.
"No. I'm more of a turn the other cheek kind of guy," Jon answered. "Also I'm Jewish."
"I still don't know what that means," she said.
"It means we take things in stride," he answered.
A moment of silence followed with Jon stretching his muscles, then addressing his reluctant friend.
"You know, not to sound like a therapist, cause lord knows that's what my mother wanted me to be...but anyway, you can insult me all you want but you can't fool me. Your little defense mechanism thing you got going on here...tissue thin." Jon said with a chuckle.
"Oh what do you know!" Trixie barked.
"I know that you may act like a total bi—...ahem, like a total bully..." Jon said, remembering that his son was still within earshot and lowered his voice appropriately. "But deep down you and I know that you love it here. You love being part of this family...you love having a place to call home...and even though you'd never admit it I know you—"
"Silence!" Trixie ordered with a blush. "I demand you stop saying such foolish things."
"Awwww c’mon now, don't be that way," Jon teased. "We're friends. You can tell me anything."
"Do not flatter yourself, Stewart!" She scoffed. "There are very few creatures that I, the Great and Powerful Trixie regard in life as a 'friend' and you are not one of them."
"Yeah right, which is why you always hang around me and plan on staying here with no plans of ever leaving," Jon quipped.
"I already told you I don't have a choice," she said. "If you're senile mind could keep up you'd know I'm stuck here...remember."
"Yeah about that...I call bullshit," Jon said. "Don't think I don't know what you do at night when you're you’re upstairs 'practicing your magic'...I've seen you in your room, using massive amounts of magic till you almost pass out…at first I thought you were just trying and failing to get back home. You can pretend this is a desert island but you're the one stranding yourself here. Why, I'll bet you've had numerous opportunities to get back home, but you don’t use them, and you use your lack of energy as an excuse to stick around."
Trixie didn't say anything because of the implications. If she agreed with Jon she proved his point and thus he wins, but if she disagreed with him then she'd have to explain herself. So instead she just listened.
"You could leave but you don't...you stay here and act as if you don't want to and you know what...that's fine. I don't mind...as long as you're happy; that's all I care about," he said. "Look, Trixie...I'm not asking you to open up to me or express how you feel or any of that Dr. Phill stuff...what I want is for you to know that everyone here loves and appreciates you. And we will do everything we can to make you feel like one of us. And I know I'm not your favorite person in the world, but trust me when I say I'll look after and protect as if you were my child."
Trixie was left not knowing what to say once again. A part of her wanted to remain steadfast in her thin veneer of indifference, while another part of her just wanted to show some level of gratitude. She wanted to give him a smile, she wanted to say "thank you", she wanted to embrace him like the father she never knew, but before she could even make up her mind, a loud noise awkwardly seized the moment.
The sound of the toilet flushing from the other side of the door immediately broke up any assemblance of a touching moment between the two like a cellphone going off in the middle of a wedding ceremony. Soon after the sound of the faucet being turned on lead both Trixie and Jon to believe that Nathan, who they’d forgot was even present, was finished with his business.
On the off chance that he heard anything they were talking about, Jon braced himself for the questions and comments that his son would undoubtedly have upon his exit.
The door swung open and to his surprise his son burst forward out and immediately ran down the hallway to the stairs without even a second glance.
"Breakfast time!" he shrieked, running downstairs before anyone could say anything to him and leaving Jon to wonder if he even noticed the line of people just outside the bathroom. Before he could call out to him, Trixie ran to the top of the stairs to shout out orders.
"Nathan Thomas Stewart, you stop that! How many times have I told you no running in the house!?" she yelled out. "Especially down the stairs. You could have hurt yourself!"
The sound of a door slamming caused Trixie to turn around and see that Jon was now nowhere to be seen. While she had been distracted with scolding the already long gone Nathan, Jon stealthy took a few steps to the side whereupon he quickly entered the now vacant bathroom. For added security he shut the door behind him and locked it so no one could get in.
"HEY!" Trixie complained as she ran up to the door. "I was next in line!" She tried opening the door but when that didn't work, she began to bang on it with her hoof.
"Heh, heh, heh," Jon said from the other side. "...sucker."
"The Great and Powerful Trixie commands you to open this door at once!" she continued.
"Sorry, can't hear ya’," Jon said.
Eventually, the banging did stop, which to Jon, meant she had given up. From the other side, things went suspiciously quiet, but Jon paid it no mind and went about his business.
First thing was first though, so he promptly positioned himself in front of the toilet and began to undo the front of his pants. After he was done he pulled the curtains to the shower aside and began to adjust the hot and cold faucets. But before he could even undress, a strange feeling took over his body. At first, everything went blurry like he was underwater, then some strange and unfamiliar force surrounded him. He then felt like someone had thrown him across the room only to yank him back like a dog on a leash.
Eventually his vision did return and he soon found himself back in the hallway.
"What the hell!" Jon exclaimed.
"Ha, ha, ha." Trixie said from inside the bathroom. "Sucker."
Soon after he made the correct assumption that she must have used some kind of spell to switch places.
"HEY!" Jon yelled. "Whatever happened to 'not enough magic' or whatever?"
"Well it would seem I had some left over," she said smugly. "Now then...wait your turn!"
Defeated, Jon slumped down next to the door and waited for his turn. Much like how the day had started, things were still not going his way, and it wasn't going to get any better from here.
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
Jon always heard horror stories about families with an overabundance of women and the hardships that came with having a ratio that favored mothers and daughters. His friends would tell him tales about being outnumbered in arguments or medicine cabinets becoming riddled with hygiene products but throughout his life, Jon himself never had this problem.
Growing up, the only woman in his life for the longest time was his own mother. She herself was outnumbered by a husband and two sons. Even now with the introduction of Trixie, Jon rarely found a problem with there being a three-to-two handicap while at home...that is, until now.
"TRIXIE!" Jon called out as she banged on the door. "Hurry it up would ya!"
"I said five more minutes!" she yelled back.
"You said that ten minutes ago!" he protested.
Trixie had long since finished taking her shower and was now busy grooming herself in front of the mirror. The shower itself took longer than expected, and with her busily maintaining her hair, she had clocked in at almost thirty minutes in the bathroom. This was an entirely new experience for him, since the only person, aside from himself, who hogged the bathroom was his wife, but she always got up before he did so there was never a problem.
"Maybe you can live with walking about with that nest you call a head of hair but as for somepony like me, hair so fine, real diligence is needed," Trixie responded.
Even though he was up and ahead of schedule, he still wanted to get to work as soon as possible. Since todays episode was a taping and not a live broadcast, he wanted to make sure things were going smoothly. Sitting back down Jon wondered if it was a good idea to not have someone from Equestria on the show today. It was a decision he made solely because lately he felt sick and he wanted to be at his best for such an occasion.
Thinking about work this early didn't sit well with Jon, so to distract himself, he banged on the door again.
"Trixie!" he yelled. "Come on, other people need to use the bathroom!"
When Jon got no response, he set a steady pound on the door until Trixie finally called back.
"Alright, alright I'm coming out!" she yelled. "Geez. Hold your horses."
The door clicked, signaling that it was unlocked, which prompted Jon to reach out from where he was sitting, but before he could, it swung open, releasing a cloud of mist like he had just opened the door to a sauna.
"Ugh." Jon groaned. "Well it's about ti—"
Emerging from the thick haze was Trixie, who to Jon's surprise, was still wearing a towel on her head, but her tail was freely swaying as she walked.
It was more or less at this point that he realized that for all her time after her shower, she had been busy brushing her tail and hadn't even moved on to her mane. Jon would have gone on a rant about that but he was too busy gawking at what she was wearing.
It was a bathrobe which, in itself, wasn't too strange a concept since she had used the shower not too long ago. But what really got Jon befuddled was that it was just her size, as if it was tailored for her. The sleeves fit comfortable around her front legs and the end stopped just short of her cutie mark. It was a standard white garment complete with the initials "GPT" embroidered on the chest, along with what looked like a small badge just on top of it, depicting her cutie mark.
"Wha...I mean w-where did...that is..." Jon fumbled with his words as he made pointed gestures to her attire.
"Christmas present," Trixie answered. "Tracey made it for me."
"Oh...I see," Jon said. He knew his wife was good at sewing, but he had no idea she was this good.
Jon continued to stare at her garments, while at the same time looking at her cutie mark to see if it matched up with the badge on the front, and indeed he did. After a while, Trixie started to feel uncomfortable from the attention.
"Stop looking at me!" she demanded as she whipped her tail across Jon's face. She then walked off to her room, talking to herself just loud enough so Jon could hear. "Honestly, Stewart. Staring at a young lady in her bathrobe after coming out of the shower, how barbaric! I realize I am the ultimate specimen of mare but you could at least try and..."
Her words became less and less audible the further she moved down the hallway, giving Jon ample time to enter the bathroom. Without pause for thought, he walked pass the combs and brushes that littered the sink and entered the shower, which was just as cluttered.
Jon paid it no mind and instead undressed and entered the tub to begin the shower he so desperately wanted. He turned the correct nozzles in his preferred direction and eagerly embraced the stream of water in his face...only to realize that it was icy cold because Trixie had taken the last of the hot water.
“SON OF A BITCH!” Jon shrieked as he frantically calibrated the nozzles.
While this was happening, Trixie was in her room putting the final touches on her mane. Her room now had its own mirror and there was even talk about setting up a television for her. From where she stood, she could clearly see all of her bedroom through the mirror, and she reflected on how different it was since she first arrived.
This came mostly in the form of pictures on the walls, a desk for her to work at, and more furniture. This was done mainly to help her feel more at home, which was somewhat unnecessary since she’d been feeling that way for a while now.
The middle of her room was completely empty. This was done so she could “practice” her magic, which she did almost every day, which tired her out immensely. Once she was satisfied with how her mane looked, she exited her room and made her way to the living room. It got louder the more she descended. This was mostly because of the kids who were busily playing video games since they had already finished eating.
They occupied the living room, and on the opposite end of the room, Tracey was in the kitchen preparing hers and Jon's meal. Trixie was about to walk over to her when a voice calling out grabbed her attention.
"Great and Powerful Trixie!" Nathan called out. "Come play with us!"
"Yeah!" Maggie yelled. "Look, look, look! You can have three players."
Tilting her head to the side, Trixie caught a glimpse of what they were playing. To her, it was an incomprehensible mess of flashy lights and sounds on the television which depicted a pair of miniature humans walking across screen, occasionally ducking and dodging their way through obstacles and various creatures. She saw absolutely no appeal in it.
Getting up from her seat, Maggie paused her game and rushed over to Trixie with the intent on swooping her away to play them. Before she could even get a third of way to her, Trixie used her magic to lift her in the air and place her down next her brother who was giggling along with her sister at the spectacle.
"Wow there, sweetheart,” she said in soft tone. “Just give me a moment get ready."
"But you will play with us right!" Nathan asked.
"Uh, sure but give me a minute first," Trixie said "I need to eat and have a talk with your mother."
"What about?" a very pesky Maggie asked.
"It's about your father," Trixie answered.
"Is Daddy in trouble?" Nathan asked. In response to this, Trixie walked up to both kids and took turns ruffling each of their heads in a playful manner.
"Yes he is," Trixie said in a joking tone. "And when he comes down here I'm going to beat him up...would you like to see that?"
"Yeah!" Both kids answered with hearty laughs.
"Alright, you kids continue playing...whatever this is, and I'll be back soon," Trixie said before walking off to the dining table where Tracey had already sat down to eat.
"So," Tracey said as she swallowed a helping of food. "What's this I hear about you beating up my husband?"
"Actually, I'm here to tell you that Stewart is sick," Trixie said as she poured herself a glass of water. "We uh...crossed paths upstairs and he didn't look so well...you might want to consider giving him some medicine."
"Hm! Thanks for the tip," Tracey said with a mouth partially filled with masticated food. "It is getting to that time of year." Getting up from her seat, she quickly but steadily made her way to an adjacent cabinet filled with medicine and first aid. She picked up a bottle of something and came back to find that Trixie had already started on her breakfast.
"Thanks for the tip," Tracey said. "Jon’s too prideful to admit when he's gotten ill so he never tells me." She watched Trixie consume a mouthful of food and waited until the mare swallowed before continuing their conversation.
"You know, dear, if you were so worried about Jon's health you could have given him the medicine yourself," Tracey said with a smile.
Trixie looked up from her plate at Tracey before arrogantly rolling her eyes.
"Not you too...Okay, first of all I am not worried about Stewart's wellbeing," she said before taking a sip of her water and throwing her nose in the air. "I am simply telling you know this so he doesn't spread his sickness to the rest of us."
Using her magic, she levitated a piece of her food into her mouth.
"And as for why I didn't give it to him myself, well...he's a big boy. If he needs medicine he can get it himself." She continued. "I'm just telling you as a courtesy."
After she was done explaining herself, Trixie went back to eating while Tracey gave a tired sigh and, with a playful smile, shook her head at the pony across the table.
"Trixie, honey...I love you, but sometimes you're as transparent as that glass of water," she said, motioning to Trixie’s drink. "You don't have to distance yourself like this...trust me when I say you're safe here."
"Hmph. I have no idea what you're talking about," Trixie said, scrunching her nose in protest. In response to this, Tracey reached over and put a gentle hand on her free hoof.
"What I'm talking about is...it's okay to let your guard down every now and again." Tracey continued. "I understand what you've gone through...I remember the day Jon brought you home; he told me about your past."
As if she didn't want to answer, Trixie took an extra second to finish the food in her mouth, taking slow bites and finally swallowing.
"Then you know where I'm coming from," Trixie said. "Things don't change...people don't change."
"Nonsense. Of course they do," Tracey assured her, now using her hand to gently rub Trixie’s hoof. "What happened to you before...that will not happen here."
Trixie was skeptical and wanted to reject the notion. She felt that she was wrong, but a part of her actually believed her.
"Trixie...we all love you here...especially Jon." She continued, her voice soft and caring. "If he had his way, he'd keep you around for as long as he could."
Taking her hoof back, Trixie looked away.
"You don't know that." She argued.
"Oh but I do. He thinks the world of you...as do the rest of us," Tracey said in an almost desperate tone. "He thinks of you not as a friend...but like one of his own children."
The thought was nice enough for Trixie to not say anything, but instead think it over in her head.
"You may not believe it right now, but someday you will," Tracey said as she took a bite of her meal. "You know...if he had to...he'd risk his life for you."
.
Upon hearing this, Trixie took another sip of her water, purposefully taking longer than normal for a drink. Eventually, she finished it off and took a deep breath.
"I'll get you another glass," Tracey said with a smile as she took the Unicorn's glass and went to the kitchen. When she returned, they continued their breakfast and talked no more about it.
For the next few minutes the two sat in silence, enjoying their meals. This was done solely on the part of Tracey to give her friend some time to think. It wasn't an awkward silence, or even a peaceful one, what with the children occasionally squealing at the television, which was playing chipper music. The two just ate with Trixie occasionally looking up at Tracey, who in return, would give her a warm smile.
After a while, someone did eventually speak; it was Tracey, but it wasn't to engage Trixie in another conversation, but rather to just throw a question out into the void.
"Where is that husband of mine?" she asked. "He's been upstairs for quite a while not." Almost as if that was her signal, Trixie's right ear twitched a few times.
"He's actually on his way down now," Trixie said.
"He is?" Tracey asked. "How can you tell?"
"I can hear him," Trixie answered. Putting her utensils down, she looked over her shoulder at the stairs, then went back to eating. "He's coming down the stairs now."
Tilting her head to the side, Tracey looked over at the stairs, but she couldn't hear anything but her kids in the background.
"I don't hear anything?" she said "Are you sure it's—"
"GAAAAAAAAAH!" a voice screamed from the staircase.
"I'm sure," Trixie said with a smirk.
"Grah!" the voice continued. "Son of a...POOP!"
Tracey got up and rounded the table just in time to see what had happened. She caught Jon hopping up on one leg, digging a piece of plastic out of his foot. She cringed at the sight of it for she, as does any parent, knew the intense amount of pain that came with what Jon had just experienced. He had stepped barefoot on a Lego piece. He was wearing a simple grey T-shirt and a pair of jeans since he didn't need to wear a suit until he got on camera. About the only thing he wasn't wearing were shoes.
"You ok, sweetie?" Tracey asked.
"Yeah...I'll be fine," Jon said from the bottom the stairs. He had sat down and was now rubbing his throbbing foot, cursing the day he ever bought his son that Lego set. He turned his head to face his two children, who were still playing their game. "Nate what have I told you about putting your toys away?"
"Sorry, Daddy," Nathan said, his eyes still fixated on the screen.
Getting up, Jon limped his way to the table where he sat down next to Trixie who had not yet finished her food. He recalled what she had told him about what his breakfast would be, so while Tracey had her back turned, he leaned back and reached over behind Trixie. He tapped her on shoulder, causing her to look bewilderingly to her side, where she saw nothing. While she was distracted he reached over and tried to grab one of her helpings of ham. But just before he could a hand swooped in gave him a slap on the wrist.
"Oh no you don't!" Tracey said. "This is your breakfast!" With her other hand she quickly slid a plate in front of him which contained a handful of granola and an apple. With a sigh, Jon looked at his plate, then back at Trixie, who had now scooted slightly to the side and pushed her plate further from his grasp.
"Can I have cereal instead?" Jon asked with a comically begging face.
Tracey looked at the cereal selection; none of them carried the heart healthy logo.
"I don't think so," she huffed.
"Oh come on, Tracey!" Jon begged. She gave him a stone cold look, which meant that she wasn't going to budge. Once Jon ran out of options, he lightly lifted his leg. "My foot hurts." To really sell it, Jon gave a pouting face which only worked on Tracey one out of ten times...he got lucky.
"Alright, alright. Go ahead," she said with a dismissive gesture.
Like a child being told they could open a present early, Jon got up and carefully inspected each cereal box on display nearby to see which one he wanted most. Eventually, he chose the one he assumed to have the most sugar.
He sat back down, this time on the other end of Trixie, and poured a large helping of his desired brand into a bowl, whereupon he got back up again to go grab the last carton of milk from the fridge. When he sat back down, he eagerly opened the mouth and tiled the container over his crunchy treat...only to realize there was barely any milk left.
"Dammit," he said under his breath. Before he could do anything else, Tracey quickly grabbed his bowl of dry cereal and replaced it with the plate of the granola and apple.
"Okay, now can I have some ham and waffles?" Jon asked sheepishly.
"It's either this or oatmeal," Tracey answered.
"Uh never mind!” he said in a panic. "I'll eat it!"
"This too," she added, putting two medical pills in front of him, but not before giving him a peck on the head. Before finally getting around to eating his breakfast Jon looked over to his side where Trixie was about halfway through with her last waffle. Again, she scooted away from him, only this time she wasted no time in devouring the rest of it.
With a sigh, Jon scooped a handful of his granola into him mouth, slowly chewing to make sure he ground them all up good and proper. While this happened, Trixie and Tracey were off to the side doing the dishes, and since Trixie was considerably shorter she used her magic to dry off dishes and place them in there correct place.
Halfway during this session, the phone rang, and Tracey left the rest of the detailing in the hoofs of Trixie. When she answered the phone a loud and somewhat frantic voiced boomed forth. Through the back and forth between it and Tracey, the person on the other end did most of the talking, while Tracey said nothing more than "okay" or "I see."
She hung up the phone and dashed across the room to grab her purse and keys.
"Who died?" Jon asked.
"Oh no, that was just my boss," she said. "There was an emergency at work and they're calling me in today...Trixie?"
"I'm on it," Trixie said as she walked over to tell the kids what was happening. This was one case where having Trixie in the family was a huge benefit. On rare occasions where Tracey or Jon would get called to work early, or on a day they were not scheduled, they would usually end up arguing on who would watch the kids. Thanks to the blue unicorn’s presence, that whole uncomfortable dispute was now avoided.
"Okay, I'll probably be back around five so don't worry about dinner," Tracey called out as she made her way to the door. "Trixie, you're in charge while Jon and I are out...and don't let Jon eat any greasy food...also don't believe him if he says it's for some kind of skit for the show, ‘cause that's a lie." Before leaving, she shot Jon a look to behave.
"Alright, alright I get it...knock em out, babe," Jon said.
"Bye bye, kids!" she said to her children, who were still playing their game.
And with that, Tracey flew out the front door and into her vehicle. Jon waited until he heard the car leave the driveway before getting up and making his way towards the window. Once he was sure she was gone, he ran back to the kitchen and yanked open an overhead cabinet, grabbing a large bag of potato chips that he had stashed in the back.
"Heh, heh, heh," he said gleefully. "Still here!" Grabbing the top of the precious bag, he made plans to open it and maybe enjoy it with some garlic dipping sauce, but before he could even sit back down, it flew from his hands and across the room like a bird freed from a cage. It eventually stopped, but was remained hovering in the air just above Trixie, who was shaking her head.
"Uh, uh, uh, Stewart," she said with judging eyes. Before Jon could protest, her horn's magic changed in pulse, causing the salty snack to seemingly vanish into thin air. "Tracey's orders. No fat foods."
To show he was no match, he threw his hands in the air like he was getting arrested.
"Okay, Johnny law I'm sorry," he said. Feeling that his day wasn't going to get any better from there, he slowly walked backwards to where his shoes were. "I think this is my cue." Putting his shoes on, Jon made his way to the door.
"Okay kids, I'm going to work," he shouted. "While I'm away, be sure to be nice to Trixie and do whatever she says, okay?"
Like with their mother, the two children didn't say anything. The only sound coming from that area was the television.
"Damn thing’s going to replace me someday," he said.
As Jon closed the door behind him, both Nathan and Maggie paused their game to address their now-babysitter.
"Now will you play with us!?" Nathan asked while his sister grabbed another controller.
"Just give me one more minute," Trixie answered. "I need to finish those dishes." She walked away to a chorus of groans from the two children and back to the sink. She was just about finished when her ear began to flap and tilt to one side. She heard someone coming up to the door at a quick pace.
Before she could check to see who it was, the door flung open and someone walked in without a word.
"Hi daddy!" Maggie said from the other side of the room. Trixie watched as Jon walked passed her to the kitchen phone and yanked it off the wall.
"Back already, Stewart," Trixie asked.
"Car's down," he said. "It has a flat and I'm all out of spars...calling Tracey to see if she can't swing by and drop me off."
He stood there tapping his foot against the ground for a few seconds, but to his dismay she never picked up. He tried again, but like before, it eventually went to voicemail.
"Great...just great. Now I have to call a cab," Jon said with a groan. "Ugh! I hate calling a cab at this hour." Rather than dialing the number right away Jon sat down in a nearby chair and rubbed his hands against his tired face, leaving them there as he took a moment to keep himself calm.
Since this didn't involve Trixie all that much, she hopped down from the stool she used as a boost to do the dishes and trotted over to the kids, who were still waiting for her. Before actually making it to the other side of the room, she stopped and made a face like somehow this was all her fault.
She turned around to see Jon, still in the same, slumped over position as when she left him. Although she didn't like to show or admit it, she didn't like to see him this way; she liked him better when he was spirited and lively. When he was like this, it just made her sad. Had she'd been anyone else she would've offered him a ride, but lacking any means of doing so, she decided to help the only way she knew how.
"Stewart?" Trixie said. "A word please."
"Not now Trix; I'm not in the mood," he said.
"Would you just listen?!" she barked. Following her command, Jon looked up at Trixie, who looked like she was a kid who had forgotten her lines they had been about to perform on stage.
"Look...I...I want to help you," she said, scared that her proposal would get rejected. "If you'll allow me I can...uh...I can just...teleport you to work." Upon Hearing this, Jon's eyes were now locked on her, but visually he didn't look convinced.
"Really? Are you sure...you can even do that right now?" he asked
"Well of course I can!" she yelled before clearing her throat. "I am...the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
After her usual declaration, she noticed that Jon still had an unconvinced look on his face, like a manager at a store looking over a potential employee's substandard resume. Her statement in it of itself wasn't enough for him, which in turn caused Trixie to further explain herself.
"Ugh, I've been to your office before remember?" she clarified. "And I do have some magic left over, so I'm sure I can send you to work...if you'll let me, that is?"
Without even thinking about it, Jon jumped up from his seat so fast he nearly fell over. He ran across the room and with a clap of his hands stood straight up and closed his eyes.
"Alright!" he exclaimed. "Let's do this!"
"Oh uh...right!" Trixie said, surprised by how quickly he trusted him, considering the last time he tried to teleport him somewhere for work. "Are you...um, you trust me?"
"Sure I do," Jon said with a smile, which momentarily made Trixie feel warm inside. For the second time today, Trixie had the potential to be largely beneficial and Jon wasn't going to pass up that chance. "Now come on, I don't have all day."
"Um just stay still and let me concentrate," she ordered. In preparation, Jon began to walk back and forth with his eyes constantly staring at her horn.
"Would you stop moving around!?" Trixie barked. "It'd help me if you stood still."
"Okay, okay, sorry!" Jon said, stopping in place on the other side of the room, which caused her to sigh.
"It would also help if you'd come a little bit closer," she added. "It'll work better in close proximity." He obliged and walked right up to her. She was about to comment that he was too close but at this point, just wanted to get this over with.
With that, the room fell to total silence. Even the television in the back stopped making noise, since at this time the kids had paused their game and were now looking from the other side of the couch, not wanting to miss the spectacle that was Trixie using her magic.
Her horn began to fluctuate with magic in a faster and faster rate. To pass the time Jon tried counting the how long it would take for something to happen. At about thirteen seconds, Jon could feel a slight change in temperature and atmosphere like someone had replaced the air in the room with another brand of oxygen. This feeling lasted for a moment before it completely took over.
When he opened his eyes he found himself in a pitch black environment instead of a bright flash of light like what usually happened.
"Okay, what the hell?" he thought to himself.
He tried taking step forward, but he stepped on something like some kind of container.
"Hey!" he yelled out. "Is anyone here?"
When no one called back, Jon dug into his pocket and pulled out a lighter he always kept, just in case. After a couple of attempts, he managed to create a tiny flame which illuminated his present location: a tiny enclosure filled with cleaning supplies and a mop.
Immediately Jon recognized where he was. Trixie had indeed teleported him to the Daily Show headquarters, but instead of appearing on stage or in his office, he had reappeared inside the Janitor's closet.
"Well..." Jon said with a sigh. "At least this time it wasn't Cloudsdale."
Turning around, he spotted the door which led to a hallway to the main office space. He grabbed the door handle and pushed forward, but that only caused him to smack his face against its wooden frame. Just his luck; the door was locked.
"This day...cannot get any more worse," He groused as he began to bang on the door for help.
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
For a brief moment, Jon thought his day had made a turn for the better when Trixie agreed to send him to work. This way he got to save time, money, and got to brag to his superiors that the arrived to work that morning by way of a magic spell.
Unfortunately for Jon, he was teleported right in the middle of a locked broom closet and it took nearly a half hour before an intern found him, whereupon he made a very predictable "coming out of the closet" joke. Things weren't going very well.
His day continued to be a cavalcade of woe when he learned of the new staff and crew he'd be working with. Since they had come back from their winter break hiatus, and some nearby universities were entering in a new semester, the studio had hired a new gaggle of interns. All of whom needed Jon to either sign off on something (usually a contract that proved they were working for free in order to gain college credits) or need a tour of the office.
From there Jon couldn't even reach his office before having to give a speech to some new staff hands. Not to mention older staff members complained that while they were away, some of the equipment went missing, probably a result of their studio getting an upgrade in some departments, but it was still just as annoying.
Jon was always willing to lend a helping hand to struggling intellectuals in the area, but in a lot of cases they were as lost as an inbred goat and about just as reliable. Though that didn't stop him from grabbing an older on-hand intern from last year, filling him in on what was going on, then leaving him to escort the new interns around the building. Some might've called that the blind leading the blind, but Jon called it a willful distribution of power.
With the rest of his staff clamoring to get things in order for tonight's show, Jon fled to the safety and pseudo-serenity of his office. Walking across the threshold of his personal sanctuary was like walking into another world. Whereas the main studio was loud and hot with everyone running around, his office was vacant and had a constant stream of cold air fluctuating all around him.
With a sigh of relief, he sat down in his lumpy chair, leaning back to stare at the ceiling. At this time in the day the light from a window was bouncing off one of the awards that adorned his wall and onto his face, so he shifted in his seat to avoid it. The ceiling fan just above him was swirling at a medium pace and he followed one of the blades with his eyes as it spun around and around.
After some reflection on his part, he was glad that he didn't make today an Equestria interview. He still wasn't feeling well and things were so chaotic at the moment that he wasn't sure he could do it any justice. Instead, for today, he was going to interview some author he’d never heard of who’d written a book that he'd never heard of, but only just read last night.
As he continued to look upwards, he began to feel dizzy at the sight of the spinning fan, so to remedy this, he leaned forward and, placing his elbows on his desk, began to rub his temples. In hindsight, he regretted not asking Trixie if she knew a spell that could cure his illness, even if it wasn't that bad.
Jon still had some papers he needed to fill out on his desk, but he tempted fate by seeing how long he could put off actually doing them. He looked at the stacks of stationary and found a better use for them. He piled them up into a little makeshift pillow and laid his head on it. He was perfectly content with just staying like that, but before he could even begin to enjoy it, there was a knock on his door.
It was an intern asking for further assistance on his hours by arrangement. Like a groundhog, Jon popped his head out of his office to help her. After he was done, another intern came from seemingly out of nowhere and asked for assistance regarding the same matter. This continued... over and over again. Person after person popping up from their desks like ducks on a targeting range whenever they saw Jon.
Jon was practically forced to leave the safety of his office and head back out into the pool of employers. He kept promising himself that right after he helped this intern he'd return to his desk, but several hours passed, and to his dismay, he was actually now officially working. He went from department to department either showing some new guy the ropes or coordinating with an older staff member on what needed to be done. He did manage to get to return to his office once or twice, but as soon as he did he was called out again.
Finally, after awhile everything was running smoothly, or at least smoothly enough for him to get back to his office. Looking to the clock, he could now see it was midafternoon. With a grunt of pain, he dragged himself to his office door, across the room to his desk, approached his uncomfortable chair and threw himself down upon it. His pillow of papers was still looking up and him; each of which needed his signature. Without even a second thought he laid his head upon it.
He could almost feel himself slipping away when an ominous and horrible sound pierced the air. Someone was knocking on his door again.
"Go awaaaay," Jon moaned from his seat. "No one here but us mice." Whoever it was on the other side knocked again, but this time she called out.
"It's me," a female said from behind the door. Even with Jon being away from the office for so long, he could still recognize that voice anywhere.
"Come in," he said, his voice muffled by his papers. Stepping into his office was his longtime assistant, Selina Jenson, who in contrast to Jon, looked as professional as she could with her long hair in a proper bun and her black pants suit neatly pressed. She had her clipboard with her, which had countless notes scribbled all over it.
"You have a phone call," she said, getting straight to the point.
"Tell em I'm not here," Jon said, making a motion with his hand for her to go away. "If they ask, just say I'm stuck in traffic or I'm dead."
"I...think you'll want to take this one," Selina said, sounding somewhat concerned. Using whatever energy he had left, Jon turned his head to the side to get a look at her; still refusing to actually get up.
"Who is it?" he asked, determined to not take it no matter who it was.
"It's...her royal Highness," she answered. Immediately, Jon sat straight up with a look of shock on his face. At this hour, there was a slew of regulars who called him, each with their own personal agenda, but this was entirely different. Except for only one instance a few months back, this had never happened before so naturally Selina had Jon's attention.
"Wait!" Jon said, sitting up. He paused to collect his thoughts while a piece of paper that was hanging to the side of his face fell down to his feet. "Princess Celestia?"
"That's who she said she was," Selina answered.
"Princess Celestia is calling...me?" Jon ventured further. When he got a nod as a reply, a sudden smile appeared on his face. "G-great! Patch her through!"
As soon as Selina left to her office to make the transfer happen, Jon sat up in his chair and began to manually brush his hair back and organize his desk as if she was about to appear in person. Once he was satisfied with his cosmetic changes, he eagerly awaited for his desk phone to receive the person that was currently on hold.
A few seconds later his phone began to ring, which was still a surprise despite the fact that he had been expecting it. Without a second’s hesitation, he quickly grabbed the phone as if doing so was a life or death moment. Almost immediately, Jon could feel a sense of unfamiliarity like he had gone to his favorite restaurant, but it had been recently renovated and nothing looked the same.
For one, this time he was the one who answered first, instead of it being the other way around. That and usually he would communicate with her at home where he was more comfortable as opposed to right in the middle of work. Even the call itself sounded different. Usually, it was silent with nothing but the princess' voice being heard, only now, Jon could hear a commotion in the background. Perhaps she was having a busy day too.
But all at once, all these new sensations were blown away once he heard the unmistakable soothing tone of his good friend and business partner.
"Hello, Mr. Stewart," Celestia said. "My it has been awhile, hasn't it?"
"Celestia! You have no idea how nice it is to hear from you," Jon said, standing up to sit atop his desk. How the hell are ya!? You must be pretty bored over there if you're the one calling me ."
"Yes, yes. I realize I've never called you before, but I assure you I do so with only the best intentions in mind," she said in a calm, yet passionate voice. "I wouldn't dream of wasting your time."
"Celestia, my friend, there is absolutely no need to apologize! I always welcome the chance to talk to my favorite other worldly god," Jon said with a laugh. "Also, what do you mean 'never called me before'...remember the time you called to get Mayor Mare on my show?"
"Oh yes of course!" she said in an apologetic tone while Jon sifted in on desk. "It's...been a long day."
"I know exactly how you feel!" Jon said, making a noise like he'd been doing some heavy lifting. "Which is why I'm glad to hear from you...it's always good to hear from a friend to break the mundanity of it all."
"We all have those days," Celestia said with a chuckle. "Even myself if you can believe that...and for the record, I only asked for Mayor Mare to appear on your show because I thought she'd be an excellent pony to interview."
"Well, you weren't wrong, that's for sure!" Jon said with a laugh. "If I remember correctly, her appearance had a rather large amount of viewers...mostly poly majors I'd wager."
"Well I'm sure she appreciated the attention it earned her," Celestia responded. "Matter of fact, shortly afterwards she won her bid for re-election."
"No kidding!?" Jon said. "Did she mention me in her acceptance speech?"
"Well...I'm afraid I'm not sure," Celestia responded tenderly. "But since we're on the topic...that's kinda why I've called you today."
"You called me to discuss Mayor Mare?" Jon said quizzically.
"No, not exactly...I'm actually calling you because I know a pony who would just be perfect for your show," she said. "She's more than willing to appear for tonight's episode and I can guarantee she'd bring with her a huge increase in viewers!"
Her proposal took Jon by surprise. For one thing, Celestia was well aware that he detested other people giving their input on who he should have on his show: a pet peeve long before they had ever met.
"You...want me to interview a certain pony?" Jon asked, just to make sure he understood her.
"Yes, this is correct, Mr. Stewart," Celestia assured him. "If you did this for me I'd consider it a personal favor...and like I said, I guarantee that the rating for your show will rise beyond your wildest dreams if you accept my offer."
Admittedly, the prospect of having an interview with a pony so popular that his viewership increased, did sound appealing, not only to Jon, but for those that Jon worked for as well. Whenever it was that time of the year where different networks were competing with each other over for viewers, Jon's producers urged him to interview a pony and to make sure said pony had a big name.
The last time Comedy Central killed in the ratings was when Jon interviewed Rainbow Dash, which had raised the network’s ratings to the highest that week. But with the holiday season long gone, Jon didn't need that boost just yet. He had already started the New Year with an Equestrian Interview in the form of Fancy Pants, so for now he was fine; he liked to stagger out these kinds of events further apart when he could.
"Well Celestia...as much as I'm...deeply flattered by your concern for my well-being, I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your offer. I don't really need an Equestrian interview at the moment, nor am feeling up for the task," he said. Getting up now, he walked over to the other end of his office and peered through his window and his many employees scrambling around like chickens with their heads cut off. "Plus, I don't think my staff is well prepared either. We have a lot of new interns starting today and things are hectic...but again, I am very thankful for your input but right now is just not a good time."
There was a silence on the other end of the line, though Jon could still tell that the line was open, because he could hear a rustling in the background.
"Celestia?" Jon said. He paused, and still no one answered, but the commotion continued in the back. "Are you still there?" It took a few seconds, but eventually someone was back on the phone.
"Yes I'm still here," the familiar soothing voice said. "And you’re absolutely certain you don't need my help?" The way she phrased her question made Jon feel somewhat guilty, like he was talking to his Jewish grandmother. Be nevertheless, he was steadfast in his refusal.
"Yeah I'm sure but, don't think I don't appreciate what you're trying to do," he answered, making sure to sounds as respectful as possible. "I promise I'll take your suggestion under advisement for next time...now I hate to sound rude, but I am on a tight schedule right now so unless there's anything else I'd—"
"Actually there is," Celestia interrupted. "You said you had some new interns coming in today right?"
"Yes. I did," Jon answered.
"Well as it just so happens I think I can help you with that as well," she continued. "You see...there is this unicorn down in Ponyville who would just love to visit you. Her name is Lyra Heartstrings, I don't if you've ever met her but—"
"I actually have," Jon interjected. "Not too long ago when I vacationed in Ponyville we uh...met." Jon sat back down, rubbing his stomach; he could still remember the pain of her spirited introduction.
"Well that's good to hear. She's actually a huge fan of yours and I know she would just love to visit," Celestia continued.
"With all due respect, Celestia...how does this help me with my intern dilemma?" he asked, now starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. He took one look out his window from where he was sitting to see a new trainee drop a huge stack of papers. "Because right now...the way I see, adding a talking pony to the equation would just cause more chaos."
"Hear me out...you have new humans working under you at the moment correct?" Celestia said. "Well wouldn't it be in their best interest to see a pony now and get some experience since they'll have to at some point." Jon took a moment to think about this, rocking back and forth while massaging his forehead.
"That's...actually not such a bad idea," he said.
"Exactly! I'd imagine it'd be easier for them since, like you said, this wouldn't be an actual interview," she added.
"And you’re sure this is okay with Lyra?" Jon asked. "I mean, being called to another world just for show and tell?"
"Oh of course it is!" she assured him. "She's actually very interested in Human mythology so this is just as much a benefit for you as it is for her."
"And she'll understand that this is just a visit, right?" he asked. "...No interview?"
"No interview," she repeated back. Jon leaned back in his seat and began to stroke his chin. He weighed the pros and cons of this proposal and came to a conclusion.
"Alright, I'm in," Jon said as he motioned for Selina to head to the dressing room. "Teleport her to our usual spot and I'll make sure to bring her up to speed."
"Excellent!" Celestia said. "I'm glad we could work this out...you won't regret it." Before Jon could say his goodbyes, Celestia ended the call, leaving only a dial tone to fill the void. Feeling slightly odd about this, Jon placed the phone back down and gave a nonchalant shrug. He got up and began to clean up his desk so it'd look more presentable for his upcoming guest.
For the next ten or so minutes, Jon sat at his station and filled out some papers and signed off on some hours by arrangement contracts while he waited for his guest to arrive. The only sound was that of his employees and colleagues scrambling around outside. A collection of people talking, papers shuffling, and computers keyboards clattering.
It was a sound Jon knew all too well, which is why his attention was immediately grabbed when all of it came to a stop. Jon looked up to peak outside the window of his office. He caught a glimpse of young men and women frozen in time as they all stared, their heads slowly turning in the same direction. It was a look he'd seen before...the same look he himself would get from ponies back in Equestria.
Now the only sound that could be heard was footsteps that became easier to hear as time passed. Soon, the door to his office opened and in came his faithful assistant, followed by a mint green unicorn with white-streaked hair. It was indeed the same pony who accidentally attacked Jon the last time he was in Ponyville, on vacation.
"Girls, it's about time! I'm just kidding, welcome, welcome," Jon said with a nervous smile. Getting up, he made his way to the door. "Please, make yourself at home...gimme one second."
Before continuing, Jon poked his head outside to shoo away his staff, calling out for them to get back to work. He closed the blinds to his office as to not distract them for the time being, since they'd get their chance soon enough to interact with Lyra.
Once he was satisfied that they had some privacy, he moved to the front of his desk with which to lean his back on.
"Alright! Lyra, so good to see you again!" he said. Leaning forward, he offered her his hand, but she didn't shake it. Instead she began to walk around the room, looking in different directions. "So uh yeah...uh it’s been awhile, Miss…uh miss…I’m sorry but I’m afraid I’ve already forgotten your last name.”
Jon purposely forgot because he wanted to encourage her to speak but Lyra didn't, as she was too busy examining the small room. Instead, it was his assistant who answered his question.
“Heartstrings,” she said
“Ah that’s right, Heartstrings,” Jon said. “How have you been? How are things back home?”
Again Jon asked his question and again Lyra didn't speak. In response to this, Jon looked over to Selina, who looked back and gave him a shrug. She was just as confused as he was.
"Right...so anyway I'm sure Celestia had already told you this but you are here today as a sort of a...uh practice run, I guess you could say, for my employees." He continued. "At some point we'll have you go around, maybe introduce yourself, and my interns will learn what it will be like to attend to the needs of an Equestrian citizen. If we have time, and with your permission, I'd also like to have the makeup girl to teach some student's how to manage a pony's mane."
When Lyra still didn't respond Jon just chalked it up to her being nervous, though even for someone like Jon, who'd only known her very briefly, that seemed very uncharacteristic of her.
"So...do you have any questions for me?" Jon asked to try and get her to come out of whatever shell she was behind.
"So this really is the human world?" Lyra said. Her sudden question startled both Jon and Selina slightly.
"Um...yes, yes it is," he answered.
"And you're really Jon Stewart?" she continued.
"Well, that's what it says on the inside of my underwear," Jon joked to ease the tension in the room. No one laughed. "So...are you clear with what will happen today?"
"Yeah, you want to prance me about like some kind of show pony for all you humans to stare at." She responded in a cold low tone. "Am I right?" The way she said it made Jon feel defensive about what he actually wanted which came out in the tone of his voice.
"O-o-oh no! No, no, not at all!" Jon assured her. He began to wonder if Celestia ever consulted her about this. "I simply want the chance for my staff and crew to get acquainted with ponies from your world! If you're uncomfortable with all this this I'll understand if you want to go back home."
"Oh no...I understand what's going on here," Lyra said with a smile.
"Oh....ok good," Jon said with a sigh of relief. "So...any other questions."
"Just one," Lyra said. "When can I expect to go on stage?"
"Oh you want to see what the stage looks like?" Jon asked.
"No," Lyra said. "I mean when can I expect to go on TV...as the pony you are to interview."
"Oh no, Lyra this visit isn't for an appearance," he challenged. "I said you're here only for observation...you're free to walk around and such but you're not going on live TV." Lyra stopped scoping out Jon's office and slowly turned around to look at him with narrowed eyes.
"Oh I know what you said. But now I'm saying that you are going to have me on your show." She spoke in a rough tone, like she'd been arguing this for hours.
"Well I'm sorry Lyra, but that's not going to happen," Jon said in a stern voice to try and match hers.
"Well then," Lyra said with an evil grin. "I guess I'll just have to make you then." For a fraction of a second, Jon could swear her eyes lit up, but he quickly dismissed it and continued his scolding.
"You know what, Lyra, I don't have to do anything for you!” Jon said in an angry tone that very few people ever heard. "I only agreed to let you come here as a favor to Celestia but if this is how you're going to act then I'm afraid I'm going to ask to you leave!"
"Sit down, human," Lyra said dangerously. Ignoring her, Jon motioned to Selina, who was still in the room.
"Selina, could you please escort Ms. Heartstrings back to the dressing room while I call Celestia to pick to pick her up?" Jon said, prompting Selina to move towards Lyra. Selina bent over and was about to place a hand on her shoulder when she stopped midway like she was frozen in ice.
Before Jon could pick up the phone, he noticed this and waited until she did something, but she never did.
"Selina, what are you doing?" he asked. "Would you please escort our...friend out of here?" Slowly Jon noticed that his assistant was shaking, as if she were cold. Most notably, her hand, which looked like it was trying, and failing to move.
"Selina?" Jon asked in a worried tone. "What's the matter with you?" Slowly her mouth began to move.
"Jon," she said like she struggling to breathe. "I...can't....move."
Before Jon could react, Lyra swung her head to the side, causing Jon's assistant to go flying through the air, where she bounced off a wall, knocking over a few awards in the process. She thudded to the floor and rolled onto her face, unconscious.
"Selina!" Jon yelled.
"Sit down, human." Lyra repeated herself. Ignoring her yet again, Jon ran across the room the see if Selina was okay. But before he could get even remotely close, he stopped in the tracks. He could feel a coldness running through him as if someone was injected ice water into his veins; he couldn't move, though he tried desperately to. Using all his strength, he tried to advance forward but he couldn't move an inch.
"I said...Sit. Down!" Lyra yelled. With a quick pulse of magic, Jon was now being hurdled across the room himself. Unlike Selina, however, he landed awkwardly back in his seat. He tried getting up but some unknown force pinned him down.
Quickly and without warning, Lyra had teleported onto his desk and was now looking him straight in the eyes, smiling a most evil smile.
"Now then," Lyra said. "About you not wanting me on your show...let's see if we can't change that."
Her eyes began to glow a shade of green, and had Jon possessed a mirror, he would have seen that his eyes were now glowing the same color. Slowly, his vision began to distort. He felt as if a thin layer of slime was being drenched on him and sensation of sleep, and yet at the same time there was a tingling sensation within his head.
He tried fighting it, and to his relief his vision came back to normal only, now Lyra was staring at him, looking very cross.
"Damn," she said. "Still not strong enough for that."
"Lyra," Jon said, feeling exhausted. "Why are you doing this?"
"Lyra?" she asked. Looking into Jon's eyes, she could now see herself. "Oh that's right, I'm still in character...allow me to slip into something more...comfortable."
Before Jon's eyes, Lyra's body began to change and contort, slowly morphing in both color and shape. Her faced warped and began to retake shape and her body grew and extra features began to spring forth like it was made of molding clay. Jon watched in horror as the tiny mint colored Unicorn transferred into a large black creatures complete with a jagged horn and wings that looked like that of an insect.
Whatever this new creature was, it had large fangs, bright green eyes, a long slender body mostly covered by her cerulean green hair and most notably of all, holes, holes that covered her entire body. With her transformation complete, she looked back and the cowering human in front of her and gave him a smile to show off her teeth.
"What...what the hell are you?" Jon said, wide-eyed, his body no longer spellbound.
"My name is Queen Chrysalis," the creature said with a smile. Slowly she lowered her head and pointed her jagged horn at Jon's face. "And from here on out, you're going to do exactly what I say, or else."
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
Some days are worse than others. Some days you wake up and everything goes alright: weather's nice, you got a full eight hours of sleep, and you find that your favorite breakfast has been prepared: overall a good day. Then there are your bad days when you wake up late because your alarm clock didn't go off, on the way out you get your sleeve stuck in a door, and some unknown evil force from another realm invades your world, threatens your family, and tries take control of your body, all the while systematically trying to ruin your life, and then attempts to kill you: definitely an example of a time to maybe be using one of your "sick days".
Jon was trembling in his seat, looking down the pointy end of large horn being shoved in his face. He didn't know what was going on or who this pony was, but what he did know was she must have gone through some incredible lengths to get here, and for what? To get on his show? Jon was just so unsure. He racked his mind, trying to comprehend how a relatively bumpy morning could lead to this.
"Wha...what do you want from me?" Jon said, his hands in the air to show he would not fight back. "What have you done with Lyra?"
"Lyra is safe, for now...and as for what I want it's simple, human." Chrysalis said. "I want to be on our show." Jon prepared for the worst, but her request was oddly straight forward and didn't seem all that important, which is why he felt so confused. Other ponies before had tried to muscle their way onto his show, but never had someone threatened him to do so.
"T-thats it?" Jon asked, his eyes still on the sharp horn. "Why on earth do you want to be on my show so bad."
The evil queen lowered her head so her horn would be pressing up against his neck.
"That is not your concern," she said. "The only thing you should be worried about right now is your own safety...Do exactly as I say and no harm will come to you."
Just then, however both of them heard a noise from the other end of the door, followed by a voice.
"Mr. Stewart?" one of Jon's interns called out, his voice soft. "We heard a noise like a crash or something...is everything alright."
Queen Chrysalis quickly turned her head to look at the door, giving Jon momentary relief. But before he could breathe, she swung back around and placed her horn back on his neck.
"Tell them...your fine," she said, pressing her horn even closer. Jon took a moment to think, but soon, his eyes wandered over to Selina, who was still on the ground; she looked hurt. He gulped, which only brought his throat closer to her sharp horn. He didn't want anyone else to get hurt, least of all his staff.
"I'm...I'm fine!" Jon called out. "I just dropped something...please get back to work."
There was a hint of nervousness in his voice, but it was difficult to hear from the other side of the door, so the intern thought nothing of it.
"Oh okay," he called back. "If you need anything." And with that, the sound of the intern walking away prompted Jon to let out a sigh of relief.
"Now then...where were we?" Chrysalis said with a grin. "Ah yes, that's right, my debut appearance."
"Please...just, please don't hurt anyone," Jon pleaded.
"Nopony else has to get hurt," Chrysalis said in an eerie tone. "As long as I get what I want, nothing bad will happen."
Jon was certain that whatever this thing was, it couldn't be trusted, since it had already gravely injured someone, but nevertheless, he vowed to do whatever it took to make sure no one else got hurt. He looked over at Selina, still lying on the floor, and felt guilty that she had been injured at his expense. Relief washed through him a moment later as she began to lift herself up.
Jon was about to call out but his faithful intern gave him a signal to stay quiet. She looked to be in bad shape but slowly and stealthy she walked across the room. Jon saw this and decided to stall for time.
"What do I have to do?" Jon asked the frightening beast.
"Again, it's simple," she answered. "All you have to do is interview me on your show...live in front the entire world."
Jon was only partially paying attention to her demands. He was too busying trying to not look around Chrysalis at Selina, who had now gone to the other side of the room to grab one of the many Emmy Awards that was displayed in his office.
"I will go on live television as the one called 'Lyra' and you will pretend that nothing is amiss," she continued. "Afterwards, I'll leave your world and you'll never see me again...sounds fair, no?"
Limping on one leg Selina made her way towards Chrysalis, brandishing the large golden statue in her hand.
"Tell me...why…why are you doing this?" Jon said, stalling for time. "You could have just made an appointment?"
"Cute...do I look like the kind of pony who will just willingly explain their entire plan?" she asked as Selina inched herself closer. "Again, you needn't concern yourself with why I'm doing this. All you need to worry about is putting on the best interview of your career...which reminds me..."
Bending her long neck over, she once again pointed her long horn right at Jon's face. It began to slowly pulse with magic, which set him nervous. Soon, a concentration of green magic began to form on the tip of her horn, and in a flash, it jumped at Jon, circling all around him.
In fear, he began to swat at it like it was an annoying fly, but soon it disappeared along with any sign that Jon was ever sick along with it. His nose was no longer running and his head felt clear like someone had flushed out the aches and pains. Whatever magic she used, it cured him of his mild cold.
"There we are, good as new." Chrysalis said with a smirk. "We can't have my interview being ruined by the host being sick now can we?"
Jon didn't know whether to be grateful or concerned. Had she just sneaked her way in for the sole purpose of being on the show, Jon might've considered it, but this thing went above and beyond that. She had threatened Jon and used her magic to harm Selina, who was now in a position to hit Chrysalis over the head with the Emmy Award.
Jon tried not to look but his curiosity got the better of him. For a brief second, he looked past the evil queen at his assistant, who was now a foot away from the intruder, raising her weapon high above her head. Unfortunately, Queen Chrysalis noticed Jon's wondering gaze and turned around accordingly.
"SELINA NOW!" Jon yelled. In one quick motion Selina swung the heavy object down, but it was no use. The Queen was faster.
A burst a of magic emanated from Chrysalis' horn, but since it happened in between her and Selina, Jon couldn't see what it was from his angle. Unlike before, where she used a spell to make Selina freeze in place, this time Chrysalis used some kind of magic that shot forth a series of green strand-like objects all around Jon's assistant.
The way the green filaments shot in the air looked remarkably like a party popper being set off, only instead of eventually falling gently to the ground, they engulfed Selina and carried her upwards to the ceiling. Jon watched in absolute horror as his dear friend was propelled upwards to the ceiling, her screams of fear quickly being muffled by the whatever it was that was wrapping around her.
Once everything was set and done, Jon looked on as Selina now hung upside down from the ceiling in what could only be described as a green cocoon filled with a kind of liquid. The look on her face was that of concentrated fear. She struggled to break free, but her prison was stronger than her, and her screams were only barely audible.
"SELINA!" Jon yelled.
"Sit down, human." Chrysalis said.
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Jon said as he got up to help her down. Turning around, the queen glared at Jon with evil eyes.
"I SAID SIT DOWN!" she roared. Her eyes began to glow, as did her horn, and it was then that Jon felt his esophagus close up. Whatever she was doing was making it harder and harder for him to breathe. It was only when Jon sat back down did his airway clear up and he drew breath.
"Enough games!" she continued. "You will have me on your show or you'll suffer the same fate as your assistant!"
A hurricane of emotions swirled inside of Jon. He felt scared for his life, yet at the same time anger for what she had done to his longtime friend. He wanted to take a swing at her, but he knew if he even tried she would use some kind of magic to stop him.
"You won't get away with this," Jon said, eyes filled with contempt. "Celestia will find out what you're planning and will stop you!" His threats did very little to scare Chrysalis, if anything, they amused her.
"Celestia! You think I'm afraid of that royal simpleton?!" She laughed. "Please, human...I've dealt with her before and soon I will confront her again."
"It may be sooner than you think," he said. "Celestia thinks Lyra is only here for a quick visit...when she hasn't heard from me she'll know something is up."
"Actually...you are mistaken." She chuckled. "Celestia thinks Lyra is here for an interview ...she won't expect to see me back for quite some time."
"Th...that's impossible!" he exclaimed. "I just talked with not fifteen minutes ago! We had an agreement about—"
Before he could finish, Queen Chrysalis began to laugh maniacally to herself. If Jon had said something funny, it was lost on him.
"You still believe you talked with Celestia !?" she blurted after she was done laughing. "You homosapiens really are stupid...tell me human...did your conversation go something like this..."
Taking a deep breath the corrupted Queen arched her neck back and closed her eyes. She began to clear her throat like had something stuck in it but soon she went back to looking at Jon.
"Hello Mr. Stewart...it is I...your dearest friend Celestia," Queen Chrysalis said, mimicking Celestia’s voice. "Listen, I have a favor to ask of you...there is this pony who is just dying to meet you."
Jon felt his heart sink into his stomach. The way she spoke sounded a lot like Celestia...in fact it sounded exactly like Celestia right down to the soothing tone that Jon loved so much.
"That....that was you," Jon said, his voice shaken with fear.
"That's riiiight," Chrysalis said. "And last night...Celestia got a call from you saying that you wanted Lyra on your show."
"No," he said.
"Oh yes," she corrected. "I believe you said something along the lines of..."
Again she took a deep breath and threw her head back. Jon knew what was coming and tried to brace himself accordingly, but when she began to speak, he was still taken by surprise.
"Hello your majesty it's me, Jon Stewart," Chrysalis said in Jon's voice. "Listen, I don't have much time right now because I'm so busy but could you please have Lyra Heartstrings sent to me tomorrow morning? I want her for my show."
Even if Jon wanted to get up and retaliate against his intruder, he wouldn't have been able to...his legs felt like they were made of Jello and he felt as if there was a heavy lump of red hot lead in his stomach. A now-terrified Jon tried to speak but he found that he had temporarily forgotten how to.
"H...h...ho....h-h-how—" Jon said before getting interrupted.
"How did I pull all this off? How did I trick both you and Celestia at the same time? It's simple...I used this!" Chrysalis said. Using her magic he produced a rectangular piece of metal from under her wing, she tossed it onto Jon's desk. "I believe you dropped this?"
It took a second for Jon to identify what Chrysalis had had in her possession. Once he did, however, he found himself breathing heavily, and in a state of distress as if she'd just thrown a ticking time bomb at him. The object before him was his own cellphone, which he had lost in Equestria when he accidentally had been teleported to Cloudsdale in search of Fluttershy.
"Where did you get that?" Jon asked. He scooted back in his chair as if it was about to blow.
"Oh this little thing...I found it," she said in an off putting tone. "Works just fine if you're wondering...you can have it back. I have no further use for it...but thanks ever so much for putting both yours and Celestia number in your contacts...it really helped me out a lot."
Jon said nothing. He had tried having his provider cancel his phone line, but they had trouble doing so; possibly because it was in another world. So he made plans to get a new one, but he never fully went through with it since it was a private line, which he rarely used, and not his professional number.
He was certain he'd never see his original phone again, but here it was....fully charged and by the looks of things, still fully functional. He tried reaching out to it but his hand refused to move.
"You know...I've actually been planning this for quite some time," Chrysalis continued. "But I never went through with it because I didn't know how exactly to get here...that and among other things, how to even begin to get on your show...but having this machine yours really helped speed things up."
Jon finally grabbed a hold of his phone...it felt cold in his hands like it had been left in a freezer. It was still functional but it now had scratches all over it.
"So...I think we're in an agreement here...you do what I say and nopony else has to suffer," Chrysalis said in the most smuggest of tones. "Now then, it has come to my attention that whenever you have a guest from Equestria, the real Princess Celestia likes to call in to confirm their safe arrival...in about a few minutes she’s going to do just that. When she calls you to make sure Lyra made it to your world alright, you will answer the phone and tell her that all is well and that you are thankful for her assistance...understand?"
Clenching the phone in his hand, Jon got up to try and match eye level with the demented creature; he was visibly angry. He did not like to be pushed around like this, and above all, he hated that she expected him to help her.
"And what if I don't?" Jon asked with gritted teeth. "What if instead I say...that you disguised yourself as Lyra and that you're trying to take over my show?"
Instead of trying to compete with his level of emotions, Chrysalis just laughed in his face and flew off the desk. She walked under the cocoon that held Selina and admired her handy work.
"You won’t," she said with much confidence.
"How can you be so sure!?" Jon said "All it'll take for Celestia to teleport herself here and kick your ass is one hint that I'm in trouble! Just one!"
With a chuckle, Chrysalis flew up to gently rub the cocoon that she had created like it was her grand masterpiece.
"Tell me human...do you have any children?" She asked a now stunned Jon Stewart. "Because I do...I have thousands of them...that's actually how I found your device." Using her magic, she commanded Jon's phone to come to her and it did. She began to examine it like an egg about to hatch.
"A truly wondrous device this is," she continued. "Did you know that you've stored quite a bit of information on this thing like...where you live, where you work, contacts for your friends, and the fact that...you have a wife and two kids."
Without even having to ask, Jon sat back down in his seat. He slumped in his chair as the gravity of the situation began to set in slowly and painfully. Jon only listened, which meant he didn't see Chrysalis use her hoof to cycle through picture after picture in his album application.
"Such beautiful children you have...says here their names are Maggie and Nathan...they can't be more than ten years old," she said in a tone that made Jon want to vomit. "And this must be your wife...I don't know much about human appearances but to me she doesn't look like much of a looker...you could have done better. Says here her name is Tracey McShane...and if I look up her profile it gives me her address as well as where you two live..."
"Please stop," Jon said. He tried to convince himself that none of this was happening...but it was.
"Now...here's what's going to happen...when Celestia calls, you're going to put on your best game face and tell here that Lyra has arrived safely and that everything is alright." She ordered. "Because if you don't...I'll make sure you never...see your precious family ever again...okay?"
Before Jon could answer his newly delivered cellphone began to ring, and immediately he knew who it was. The ringtone was the song "Her Majesty" by The Beatles which he had set to be played whenever Celestia called. He had thought it was clever, but at the moment it only made him nervous. As it rang, Chrysalis used to magic to set it very delicately in front of him.
"Answer it," Chrysalis said from across the room. When Jon didn't move she teleported herself back on top of his desk and pointed her horn to his face. "I said...answer it."
Slowly Jon took the phone in his hands, and when he looked at the screen, he confirmed it was indeed Celestia. He pressed the answer button but didn't immediately put it to his ear. He looked in Chrysalis' eyes, which conveyed that she was serious and slowly placed the phone against his ear, where he heard Celestia already in the middle of talking.
"...I said hello? Hello Jon are you there?" she said. "I’m just calling to make sure everything is alright?"
Jon tried to speak but no words came out. In response to the Chrysalis pointed her horn to his neck.
"Uh yeah hello...I'm...I'm here. I’m fine," he said in a nervous tone. "How uh…how are you?
"Ah there you are, and I'm fine, thanks for asking! For a second I thought I had dialed the wrong number," she said with a chuckle. "Though I don't know many other Jon Stewarts."
When Jon didn't respond right away, Celestia called out to see if he was still there. Jon was so nervous he had forgotten how to carry on a conversation, something which made Chrysalis dig her horn deeper against his neck.
"OH! Uh ha, ha that's a goood one...Celestia...r-real funny," he said. "So...what's this about?"
"Well as you know, I like to call and make sure your guest made it alright," she said in a tone like a mother asking a school teacher about their child. "And I know you're very busy right now so I won't take up too much of your time...did Lyra make it alright?"
At that moment, time seemed to slow down for Jon to the point where it just stopped. He knew that all he had to do was tell Celestia that this monster was here and that she'd do something about it. Maybe she'd teleport him out of the room or use her magic to stop Chrysalis from moving the way she had done to him. He was one second away from calling for help when he looked over at Selina, still in her cocoon prison.
He then imagined that same enclosure being worn by his two children and loving wife, hanging upside down with the same expression of fear and pain. It was a thought that made him almost vomit right there...he couldn't risk it.
"Jon?" Celestia called out. "Is something the matter...you sound disturbed." For the sake of his own life and that of his family, Jon threw his head back up and puffed out his chest. Years of acting kicked in and he began to talk more fluently.
"Sorry about that Celestia, I'm fighting a cold at the moment," Jon said. His tone was smooth and collected like nothing had ever happened. His straight face was so convincing that even Chrysalis found herself shocked by his acting. "And as for Lyra yes she made it safely...gotta admit though, it’s odd seeing her without that earth pony friend of hers...from what I understood those two are connected at the hip."
"Oh trust me, you're not the only one surprised by that," Celestia said as Chrysalis gave Jon a nod of the head. "I thought for sure she'd want to go on TV with her partner, but she insisted she go it alone."
"Well I can understand why," Jon said. "I mean I love Tracey but I wouldn't take her with me everywhere I went."
"Well I'm afraid I can't chime on this. I don't have any significant other," she said with a giggle. "Speaking of which how is Tracey?"
Before answering Jon looked at Chrysalis who gave him a signal to get things moving along.
"Uh she's great but listen I hate to be rude but I really must go," Jon said. "I have a client in my office right now and she's looking very upset."
"Oh of course. I'll leave you to your work," she said. "Can't wait for tonight's show."
"Me either." Jon said with a fast appearing frown. "It's sure to be a blast."
Having said their goodbyes, both parties hung their phones with Jon looking depressed, as if he was just forced to say goodbye a friend.
"Excellent performance!" Chrysalis exclaimed. "Make sure to leave some room for more of that tonight when I'm on stage...I want you to be at your absolute best."
"If I do this...you promise you won't hurt my family," Jon said in a sickly tone.
"Oh of course, you have my word," she said with a smile that did very little to reassure Jon. "Now then, you should rest up for tonight...I on the other hoof, need time to prepare."
"Selina can help you..." Jon deadpanned. "Just get her down first."
"Oh, you mean you're human slave? Good idea...oh and by the way...Don't even think about trying to call Celestia for help while I'm gone. I had some of my children infiltrate the castle, disguised as guards. So if you try and send her a message about me...I'll know," Chrysalis said to Jon. For emphasis she tapped her horn and gave a grin like she knew what he was thinking. "But just in case you're still thinking about trying..."
Again, she pointed her horn at Jon's face, but unlike before, he didn't react as much; he just sat there, slumped in his chair like he was slowly sinking. A small green light shot forth from her horn and went right in between his eyes. Jon felt no pain, but just like before, an odd sensation began to envelope Jon's brain like he was slowly falling asleep. The sensation eventually subsided and he suddenly felt like his head was heavier.
"There...a little insurance," she added. "Now even if you are foolish enough to try it, I'll immediately be alerted." Once she was satisfied that her spell had worked, she hopped on down from the desk and made her way to the center of his office.
Using her magic, she turned back into her smaller, Lyra form. Her horn began to glow and as it did, the cocoon that housed Selina burst open and out she fell, no longer covered in ooze but gasping for breath.
"Selina was it?" Chrysalis said to the terrified assistant. "I'll need you to escort me around the office...maybe take me to your designer...my hooves could use some polishing."
"Why...you..." Selina said as she slowly got up. Making a fist, she looked like she was about to pounce on Chrysalis like a large cat, but before she could even think about what she would do, Jon called out.
"Selina don't," Jon said from his seat. She looked over at her boss with a surprised look about her. "Do as she says...whatever she wants...make sure she gets it." Since she was in the cocoon, she hadn’t heard anything they had said, she was shocked to see Jon look so defeated.
"Very good, human. Keep this up and I can guarantee all will be well," Chrysalis said in her now-Lyra voice. Turning on her hoofs she walked towards the door and faced Selina. "Come along slave, I'm wanted in makeup."
Selina watched as her boss let the smug faced attacker walk out of his office.
"Jon?" she asked a scared tone.
"Just go, Selina," he said. She obeyed and followed Chrysalis out the door.
"Oh and one more thing...you can't stop me...so don't even try. I appreciate you might not fully comprehend my power, so for now, I'll just say this..." she said as she slowly turning to face Jon. "Back in Equestria, there are old stories about a species of monsters called the 'Changelings'."
The name itself got Jon's attention. He had no idea what they were, but he had briefly heard about them at one point.
"Ponies tell all kinds of stories about them...about how they sneak in houses at night and take away misbehaving fillies and colts," she said with a serious face, which was now giving way to a sadistic smile. "Well I'm here today to tell you that such monsters exist...and I'm their queen."
No one said anything. An eerie silence fell over the room, leaving Jon to think about his present situation. Feeling like she had gotten her point across, Chrysalis exited the room with Selina following behind very hesitantly. On her way out, she closed the door to the office as she always did out of habit, leaving Jon all alone.
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
Even with Chrysalis having just cured him of his mild illness, Jon now felt utterly sick and corroded down to his soul. An overwhelming sense of helplessness and guilt flowed from every pore of his body and he felt like this was entirely his fault somehow, like he had betrayed both himself, and everyone he loved.
Reaching out, he grabbed his phone, the very same phone that was used as a weapon against him. It was still set to the gallery application and there was a picture of his children. Tears began to fall from his face as she scrolled through picture after picture. He leaned forward in his desk to hide his sunken face, even though he was alone.
He had the feeling that no matter what, someone he loved would be hurt. He knew that this evil creature could not be trusted to keep her word, and that whatever she was planning was in no way in just cause. On paper it sounded as if all she wanted was some TV time, but deep down he knew there was more to it than that...he had to get rid of her, but he didn't know how.
He continued to cycle through picture after picture, and just when it seemed that all hope was lost, an idea came to mind. At first it seemed trivial, but then the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.
"She doesn't know." Jon said to himself. Looking in all directions, he began to formulate a plan in his head, a plan that seemed too simple to work, but it was his only option. Jumping from his seat, Jon quickly grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something down. He then rushed to his office door with an idea in his brain, a new found sense of urgency flowing through him. He had a plan he just needed to get back home.
He was moments away from opening the door when he stopped to collect himself. He wiped his eyes of any loose tears and took a deep breath, then another. For this to work, he needed to trick Chrysalis the same he had just deceived Celestia. After he was both mentally and physically ready, he opened the door just in time to see his assistant escort the still-disguised Queen Chrysalis down a nearby hallway.
"Selina, can I have a word with you?" Jon called out in a perfectly acceptable and stable tone. Before she could answer, a very skeptical looking Chrysalis stepped in front of her.
"Why?" she asked in her very convincing Lyra voice.
"Oh it's nothing really. I just want to make sure everything goes well for tonight's show," Jon answered. "After all, I wasn't expecting to have a pony on the show tonight."
With a nod of the head, Chrysalis allowed Selina to approach Jon, though she kept a very watchful eye on the two. When Jon spoke to Selina, he did so in high voice so everyone could hear him.
"Selina, I need you to make sure the boys in the back prep the stage," Jon said. "Make sure it's set up for our guest. That means we’ll need to use the props from set 'B' and not set 'A,' I remind you what happened the last time that happened...also be sure to tell our former guest that we won't be needing him anymore...if he asks why tell him there was a mix up in scheduling."
While this was going on, Queen Chrysalis was busily waiting for Selina to return, her gaze never leaving the two. Seeing this caused Jon to try something different. Turning now to his many interns and stagehands, Jon raised his voice to address everyone in the office.
"Everyone, can I have your attention...this is Lyra and she's to be on the show tonight," Jon said with an outstretched hand. Most, if not all his workers, acted rather confused since this wasn't originally scheduled. "While she's here I want everyone to make her feel at home here at Daily Show headquarters, so please...I would like everyone who is scheduled to help on set today to introduce yourself."
When he was done talking, a considerable amount of young adults approached Queen Chrysalis, each of them introducing themselves or cutting to the chase to ask a question. While she was distracted by this, Jon slid a note into Selina's hand. Brisking past her, he waved his hands at the many interns who were talking with Chrysalis like birds trying to feed on bread crumbs.
"Alright guys and gals, you'll all have a chance to introduce yourself to Lyra when she comes to your department," Jon said, trying to up the crowd her had created. While this was happening, Selina quickly read the note Jon had given her. "Right now she needs to go get wardrobe...or actually maybe we can skip that part."
His co-workers laughed as Selina came up from behind him, and with a slip of the hand, gave him back the note.
"So Lyra...is there anything else you need?" Jon asked. Instead of acting skeptical, Chrysalis took his overly cheerful demeanor as a sign on acceptance.
"No I should be fine," she said.
"Good. While you two ladies get better acquainted with our building, I'll be in my office doing busy work.” And with that, Selina escorted Chrysalis around the corner to where the cosmetology students and officials were stationed.
Jon waited a few seconds after the two of them were out of sight, whereupon he quickly rushed down one of the opposite hallways which lead to the back door. He turned a corner so fast he almost knocked over a mailroom clerk in the process, but eventually he found the door.
Bursting back out into daylight, Jon ran through the parking lot and to the street corner and flagged down a passing taxi. He gave his desired address and he was soon on his way, but not before he threw away the note that he had previously given to his loyal assistant which had read:
Selina-- Stall that thing by any means necessary. If she asks where I am just tell her I'm busy preparing for tonight or something.
Call my mother and tell her to meet me at my house.
It took the cabbie about twenty minutes, but he eventually got Jon back home. In a rush, Jon leapt from the vehicle and threw a couple of bills at the driver without bothering to ask for change. He could hear the car pull away as he ran up to the door. Frantically, he pulled out his keys and tried to unlock the door, only to drop it on the ground. When he bent down to pick them up, he found himself stopping.
He tried to calm himself down, but the image of Selina hanging upside down was more than he could bare. He took a deep breath, stood up, and calmly unlocked his front door. Slowly he opened it, expecting the worse, but to his relief, he didn't see any signs of anyone being in the house besides himself and his family.
He looked across the room and there he saw the flat screen television, still ever present on the wall in the living room, being used for its intended purpose. Quickly, he rushed towards the couch, and there it was, a glimmer of hope in his otherwise horrible day.
Still sitting in the same spot as when he left, were his two children, each of them still playing their video game. Aside from maybe a change in positions to Jon, it looked as if they hadn’t moved at all since he left that mornings to go to work.
They didn't turn to look at him, as they were still fixated on their current game, but one pair of eyes did find their way to Jon.
For there, sitting in between them was who Jon was looking for the most. The answer to all of his problems and subsequently his ace in the hole, came in the form of a small blue pony using both her hooves and horn to handle a video game controller.
She was a friend, a family member, and now Jon's secret weapon...she was the Great and Powerful Trixie.
"Stewart," she said with uninterested eyes. "You're home early."
Jon didn't say anything right away. Instead, he just stared at her, his chest heaving up and down from running up to the house.
"What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost," she said. Her attention was now drawn away from Jon and onto the screen at the behest of the kids, who complained that she was slowing them down. "Look, if you're wondering why I'm doing this, the kids asked me to...even though I don't possess any fingers I think I'm getting the hang of it."
Now all three of them were ignoring Jon. They were too busy concentrating on their current game session to notice tears of joy swelling up in Jon's eyes. He wasn't upset by their lack of interest in his presence, he was just happy to see that they were okay.
"OH THANK GOD!" he yelled as he dropped to his knees and grabbed his two children and Trixie in his arm for forced group hug. None of them took a liking to it.
"DADDDY!" Nathan complained. "We're playing a game!"
"Yeah, daddy!" Maggie added. "I can't see!"
His two children weren't the only ones bothered by Jon's surprise hug out of nowhere. Arguably the most annoyed by this was Trixie since she was sitting in the middle of the two children, as a result she felt the most compressed out of all of them.
"Let me go at once!" she barked. "The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that you relinquish me this instant!"
Despite all their struggling and demands, Jon refused to let go. The more they pushed him away, the more he hugged them back. He so happy to see that the three of them were safe he didn't even notice Trixie using her hoof to pop him on the head a few times.
Still overcome by his sense of relief, Jon gave each of his children, as well as Trixie, a kiss on the forehead as if he’d never get to see them again. Trixie really didn't like that.
"Bleh! Let...go of me!" she ordered. "Trixie does not like being slobbered on!"
The kids struggling came to a sudden halt once a chipper bit of music came from the TV signaling that both children and Trixie had gotten a "Game Over."
"Awww man!" Nathan complained.
"Daddy you killed us!" Maggie moaned, saddened that they would now have to start from their last checkpoint. As if his daughter had said the magic words Jon, released them. Both Nathan and Maggie grabbed their controllers and tried to get back to their game, or at least they would have, had Jon not kneeled down in front of them, blocking their view of the TV.
"I'm...I'm sorry kids," Jon said. To show he was serious, he placed a hand on their shoulders and began to talk nice and slowly so they would understand. "Listen...while I was gone did anyone try to get in the house?"
At this point, Trixie had finished wiping off any saliva that Jon might've gotten on her. She was moments away from yelling at him for his insane behavior, but before she got to it, Jon's face caught her eye. To say he looked sad would be a gross understatement; his face looked to be permanently petrified in a mixture of agony and horror. But most of all she noticed his eyes; they looked like they had seen things that one should never see. She even noticed there was some evidence that he had been crying.
His children however, didn't notice their father's disturbed appearance, nor would they be able to fully comprehend what it all meant, as demonstrated by their answering of his questions.
"No daddy," Nathan said in an annoyed tone. "No one came to the house." He tried to look past his father at the TV, but Jon wasn't done with them yet.
"Okay, but did anyone try and call!?" Jon asked
"Nope," Maggie answered.
To show that he was done questioning them, Jon took his hands off their shoulders and stood up to get out of their way.
"Stewart?" Trixie asked. "Is everything alright? You look worse now than when you left."
"No I'm...I'm fine," Jon said as he paced back and forth. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair while taking deep breaths. Unsatisfied with his answer, Trixie jumped from her seat and approached him.
"Did something happen at work?" she asked. When Jon didn't answer her question, her mind began to wander and she started to suspect the worse. Not knowing that what was really going on was far more insidious than she could ever imagine.
After having some time to think Jon ran up to his kids again. Only this time he didn't get in their field of view.
"Hey kids...did mommy ever come back home?" Jon asked. Both kids didn't answer but instead shook their heads.
"She's still at work," Trixie said from behind. "What's all this about?"
Instead of answering her question, Jon turned around, and with one arm scooped Trixie up in the air, tucking her body under his arm like he was holding an oversized football. Though in his haste, he managed to lift her upside down.
"HEY!" she shrieked. "Put me down!" Her cries of frustration caused both kids to look in their direction and laugh at the spectacle that was Trixie's butt extruding in the air and her hooves flailing wildly about.
"Hey kids, look I'm uh...I'm going to borrow Trixie for a second so be good and stay here!" Jon said. The two kids paused their game to give their attention, since it involved their beloved baby sitter. "While I'm gone, your grandmother is going to be taking care of you...she should be here very soon."
Maneuvering over her brother, Maggie ran across the cough to jump up and down.
"Grandma's coming!?" she yelled.
"That's right!" Jon answered. "So make sure to—"
"Can we show her to the Great and Powerful Trixie!?" She interrupted while Trixie still struggled in Jon’s arms.
"No, no, no. I'm sorry but I'm borrowing Trixie for now," Jon said. "Don't worry, I'll bring her back!"
"Promise?" Nathan asked with a skeptical look.
"I promise!" Jon said. He almost dropped Trixie, who was still struggling with all her might to break free. "Now stay here and be good! Me and Trixie have some...adult things to talk about upstairs."
"I'm not going anywhere till you tell me what's going on!" Trixie yelled. "I ordered you to release me at once! You have until the count of three...one...two...Th— AH!"
Before she could finish her countdown, Jon turned around and as fast as he could rushed towards the stairs.
"Stay here!" Jon told his kids as he ran up the stairs, the indignant mare still tucked underneath his arm. After getting to the top of the stairs he used his free arm to open the door to his study. After almost tripping over his own feet, he rushed in and closed the door behind him like he was being followed by someone.
Before Trixie could say anything else, Jon tossed her as gently as he could on the nearby sofa.
She wasn't very thankful for being manhandled.
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" she said with much contempt. "Have you lost your mind!?" Jon didn't answer. Instead, he ran around the room, shutting windows and closing blinds as quickly as he could.
"DON'T IGNORE ME!" she yelled. "I asked you a question and I demand you answer me!" Again Jon said nothing. His final act of security was to grab the cord that connected his phone to the wall and yank it out so no one could call. To make sure he didn't miss anything, he began to run around the room looking everywhere, as if he was trying to find an Easter egg.
"What are you doing!? Stop this at once!" Trixie shouted. "HEY! The Great and Powerful Trixie commands you to—"
"TRIXIE SHUT THE FUCK UP! " Jon yelled at the top of his voice. Immediately he regretted what he had done.
Trixie looked shocked. Her ears folded and she began to take a few steps back in fear. She had always known Jon as that campy human who never had a mean bone in his body…she had never seen Jon look like this before.
The horrified look on her face sent pangs of guilt throughout Jon's body. He didn't mean to yell at her...this wasn't her fault.
"Trixie...Trixie I'm...I-I'm sorry," Jon said as he reached out with his hand. "It's just that I...I need...Oh god." Dropping to his knees, Jon's shoulders slumped and he covered his face with his hands. Trixie could hear muffled sounds that were in synch with her beating heart. Having seen Jon go from intense anger to disheveled agony was something she thought she'd never see from him.
"...S-Stewart?..." she said as she slowly approached him. "Are... are you alright?"
Out of instinct, she reached out with her hoof, unsure of where she would put it. Before she could, however, Jon looked up at with her with sad, watery eyes.
"Trixie," he said in a scared voice. "I need your help."
Trixie was never one to ask support from others. Even if she desperately needed it, her pride and tendency to not rely on others wouldn't allow her. Subsequently, this also meant that not a lot of people ask for her help in general. All of this meant that she didn't really know what to say when Jon was literally on his knees begging for her assistance.
"Please Trixie," Jon said again with increasingly tearful eyes. "I’m in big trouble."
Had this been anyone else, she might have considered leaving them to sort out their own problems, but since it was Jon, she obliged him a little by at the very least asking what the problem was.
"Trouble...with what?" Trixie asked tentatively. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Jon got up and began to collect himself. He wanted to be sure he spoke clearly and without falter.
"Trixie, something...something from Equestria came to the office today," Jon said. His breathing was now under control. But the more he explained his situation the more rapid it became. "Something...something really bad...and I need you to get rid of it."
"Why don't you explain from the beginning?" Trixie said. Jon's hands were still shaking and he felt like he could fall apart at any time. Taking another deep breath, he walked across the room to the couch near the door. It was no more than a few feet away, but to Jon it felt like it was on the other side of the planet. Slowly, he navigated towards it as if he was on a traipse wire.
"Okay, this is what happened," Jon said as he took his seat. "This...this thing tricked its way into my office and it demanded that I do whatever she says...I tried to get it to leave but it was too powerful." Jon's mind was still frantic; it took all he had to explain this much without going into a panic. He stopped to breathe again while Trixie did her best to draw her own conclusions.
"And you want me to send this thing back for you?" Trixie surmised which in turn got a nod of the head from Jon. Feeling cocky, Trixie shook her head back and forth and threw hooves in the air. "Fear not Stewart! For I the Great and Powerful Trixie, will vanquish this foe for you and save the day once again! Now then...who is this creature that will have the misfortune of dealing with Trixie?"
"It's some weird thing with holes all over her body," Jon said as he rubbed his hand across his face. He tried to remember as much as he could about her on the off chance that Trixie didn't know her. "She has green hair and a black body and she called herself Queen...uh Queen Crisis, or something like Queen Crystals...or—"
"Queen Chrysalis!?" Trixie exclaimed.
"Yeah, yeah, that's her!" Jon said. "You know her?" Now it was Trixie who looked scared out of her mind. She took a step back and began to look in all directions as if the walls were about to close in on her.
"Queen Chrysalis is here!?" she continued. "...In New York!?"
"Yeah and she’s trying to take over my show!" Jon said. "So can you help me?"
"You want me to go up against Queen Chrysalis!?" she said frantically. "Are you crazy!?"
"But I thought you said can handle this!?" Jon said as he stood up from his seat.
"Well yeah, but that was before I knew who I was dealing with! Stewart...you don't understand! Queen Chrysalis she's...she's a very high level magic user," Trixie explained. "Her power is far, far beyond my- I mean, I...look, I want to help, but can't you just get Celestia to do it?"
"That's not going to work. Trust me, I thought about that," Jon said, sitting back down. "Chrysalis said if I tried, she'd know it...she did something to me and well...I'm not going to risk finding out if it was a bluff. Please Trixie you're the only one I can count on here."
Feeling needed like this did give Trixie a sense of importance, but what Jon was asking was almost suicidal.
"...And there’s no other option?" Trixie asked as she used her hoof to carve a pattern into the carpet of Jon's study.
"No...this Queen Chrysalis has thought of everything." Jon explained. "She tricked her way into my world pretending to be someone else, she used my phone to deceive both me and Celestia into letting our guards down, and she found a way get me to do whatever she says...she's thought of everything...except for you."
"M-me?" Trixie said.
"Yes you! I mean, no one knows you're here, not even Celestia, remember?" Jon continued. “Your interview never made it on television...she may have planned out everything, and anticipated everyone...but you…who could ever anticipate you?"
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
A sudden look of realization found its way onto Trixie's face. Queen Chrysalis had severed any hope Jon had of calling in reinforcements from Equestria. Unaware of the fact that Trixie had been living with him for months now, Jon's only chance of survival was now squarely in the hooves of Trixie and Trixie alone...it didn't exactly put her in the right mindset.
"Stewart I...I don't know," Trixie said. The weight of the situation began to take form in her head. "I mean...I want to help, really, I do, but I don't think I'm the right pony for this."
"Trixie please," Jon said with begging hands. "This is a lot to ask of you and I understand that, but you—"
"NO! No you don't understand!" Trixie yelled, surprising Jon. She was noticeably scared, made evident by how she was shaking like a Chiwawa in snowstorm. "I'm sorry, but you don't understand! You didn't grow up in Equestria, but I did! You have no idea what Queen Chrysalis is capable of. Trust me, I've heard the stories, and I've seen what she can do."
"That's why I need your help now more than ever! You know what to expect," Jon countered. "Please, Trixie you're the only magic user in this world that can help me."
Maybe it was because she was still nervous about helping Jon, or just as an excuse to be confrontational, but for whatever reason, Trixie decided to take what Jon had said too personally.
"Oh I see," Trixie said with a forced level of annoyance. "You only need my help because I can use magic!"
"Trixie, that's not what I meant" Jon said. "I just—"
"No I get it," Trixie continued. "You don't need my help, you just need somepony who knows magic...I guess if some other pony was here you would—"
"For the love I god why won't you help me!" Jon said in a loud, but not threatening manner.
"I'm just...look I'd like to help you Stewart, really, I would, it's just...you know," she said in an unconvincing tone.
"No...no I don't know, so please explain it to me," Jon said, but despite his best efforts, Trixie now remained silent. She nervously looked in all directions as if an answer would materialize before them. "Come one, I've always been there for you, so why won't you help me now?”
“Look…I just…I can’t do it,” she said as she turned to expose her back.
“Buy why!?” Jon asked. Why Trixie...why!?"
"Because I'm not strong enough! " Trixie yelled back surprising both Jon and herself. "There! You want me to say it! I'm just...I'm just not strong enough to go up against somepony like her...if I help I'll only mess things up like I always do."
"Oh I...c’mon that's not true," Jon pleaded.
"Oh isn't it? Face it, Stewart, I'm a failure as a magic user," she said, trying her hardest to fight back the emotions that came with having to face her own self-actualization. "I know...I know I say stuff like I'm great and powerful or that I'm the most powerful unicorn ever, but I'm just...not...look I would love nothing more than to help you, but I'm scared I won't be able to."
"Trixie," Jon said in a pleading tone.
"I'm...I'm sorry," she said. To avoid eye contact, she bowed her head down and looked away. "I'm sure you'll think of some way to—"
"Trixie, please I can't do this by myself!" he exclaimed. Without even thinking about it, he dropped to his knees and grabbed her shoulders. "For god sake, she threatened my family!"
Instead of pushing Jon away or complaining that she was once again being handled, Trixie couldn't help but stare back into Jon's sad eyes.
"W-wha—...she what?" she asked.
"She had my phone so she knows everything," he explained. "She knows where we live and where me and Tracey work...she even knows the kid's names...Please Trixie; the kids need you...Tracey needs you...I need you."
"…She threatened to harm Maggie and Nathan," Trixie asked after a lengthy pause.
"Yeah," Jon answered, determined to bring her home. "She said if I didn't do exactly as she said, that I'd never see my family again."
After he was done explaining Jon took a step back to give his unicorn friend some space as well as time to think. Without saying a word, she ran to the door of Jon's office and opened it slightly so she could hear the kids playing downstairs. Their voices could be heard all the way from upstairs; a combination of laughter and the game's soundtrack.
Closing the door, Trixie turned to face Jon with a determined look about her. She was still nervous about the prospect of going up against Queen Chrysalis by herself, though Jon couldn’t tell.
"Okay, I'm in," Trixie said. Falling back in his seat, Jon took a deep sigh like he'd been holding his breath.
"Thank you, Trixie," he said. "I knew I could count on you."
"Don't thank me just yet." Trixie sighed as she walked across the room. "Before we go on any further, I need to know the details of what she's planning...refresh my memory. Did she mention why she's here or what she wants?"
"Well...I know what she wants I just don't know why." Jon said.
"Elaborate," she said as she turned around to talk in the opposite direction, going back and forth occasionally, stopping and going like a cheap dell laptop.
"Alright, alright...When she arrived in my office, her one demand was that I have her on the show as my next guest," Jon explained. "And...that's it. Other than telling me to my shut my mouth about it that was her only demand."
This sudden news caused Trixie to stop pacing in place. Quickly, she turned to look at Jon like a deer caught in someone's headlights.
"Did she say that she wanted the interview to be live!?” she asked with concerned eyes. "And that she was to be disguised as somepony else."
"What, were you there or something? That's actually what she wanted," Jon said, throwing up his arms in surprise.
There was now a moment of silence and stillness. Trixie was looking in Jon's direction, but her gaze suggested she wasn't looking particularly at him but rather into the void of space.
"Hey, Trixie...you alright?" Jon asked Trixie who took a second to respond.
"I'll be honest with you, Stewart; this may be more dangerous than I thought," she said with a very concerned look on her face. "I know what she's planning...but for you to understand, you need to know exactly...what Queen Chrysalis is."
"She said she was uh, something called...a changeling," Jon said.
"Yes she's their queen," Trixie said. "But do you know what a changeling is?"
"No," he admitted. Jon was now much calmer than when he first started, and was now more willing to listen. "I've heard about them, but I don't know anything about what they are."
Jon's confusion for such a prominent topic was how Trixie felt a lot of time when she first moved to the human world, and was met on all sides by cultural entities that she did not understand. For her, having to explain what a Changeling was to someone was a very odd concept, since virtually everyone she knew back home knew of them.
She sat down on the couch next to Jon and began her lecture.
"Okay try to keep up...there are a lot of theories about their origin, but the way I was taught when I was but a young foal was that the changelings used to be a species of ponies that lived centuries ago. Their leader wanted only the best for her loyal subjects, so she made a deal with a powerful creature to grant herself and her subjects immortality." Trixie explained while Jon listened intently. "However, the powerful creature tricked her and as a result she and her subjects became corrupted by the magic. As a result, they turned into evil, raving monsters with the ability to change their appearance whenever they wanted."
"Okay, but what does all that have to do with my show?" Jon asked.
"I'm getting to that...so as I was saying, they have the ability to turn change their appearance to look like anypony they want, which they needed to counter another aspect of their curse. You see, a changeling's immortality comes with a price. While they can't be killed, they need energy to survive; they feed off the love of other ponies; that's the only way to get their power back." Trixie explained while, at the same time, trying to separate what she knew as fact and what she knew only by myth. "When I was in the orphanage, the house mother and father would tell stories about how Changelings would sneak into the house and gobble up misbehaving young foals who didn't listen or do their chores, and take their place. Before they got desperate, changelings would actually sneak into towns and assume the form of a friend or family member in order to absorb the love from those around them."
"Well if this thing is trying to get me to love it, then it's doing a pretty fucking terrible job at it so far," he grumbled.
"It's not your love she's after," Trixie said, pausing for a second. "It's your audience's"
"Wait...what do you...” Jon’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh shit!”
"Exactly. Stewart, she wants to be on your show because she wants to devour the love she'll get from audiences both here, and Equestria," Trixie said. "You've said it yourself before, 'Equestrian interviews' is your most watched episodes...everypony who watches those segments falls in love with the guest. If Queen Chrysalis goes up there, she'll be watched by who knows how many ponies and humans."
"Millions…maybe more," Jon answered, placing his elbows on his knees and a hand on his forehead. "If she goes up there, she'll be watched by millions of people...and that's just here in the states...we broadcast all over the world and from what I know this show gets out to all corners of Equestria."
Slowly, Jon leaned back in his seat so carefully one might think he was made of glass. He was trying his best to recollect what the average census was for amount of viewers per episode. For the ones that had an Equestrian guest the numbers were extremely high, and that was only counting viewers from the his world. Averaged out the least popular 'Equestrian interview' was more watched than his most popular 'regular' episode.
After running the numbers in his head Jon began to panic, causing him to go into denial.
"M-maybe it won't so be bad?" Jon thought out loud.
"Excuse me?" Trixie blurted.
"I mean maybe she won't be that powerful," Jon explained while rocking back and forth in his seat. "Yes a lot of people will watch but who can say for sure how strong she'll be?"
His theory did very little to make Trixie feel better about the situation. She shook her head at Jon with a face like she knew something that he didn't.
"I hate to tell you, Stewart but you're very wrong. This idea that she might not be that strong is foolish...you don't understand, so allow me to put things into context for you," she said before taking a long painful sigh. "I wasn’t present, but from what I've heard, the last time Queen Chrysalis tried something like this was when she tried to invade Canterlot disguised as a royal member of the family. When she did this, she managed to take over the city for a brief moment and defeat Celestia in battle...she did all this with the love from a single stallion."
At this revelation, Jon got up and began to walk around in circles, using his hands to massage the side of his head.
"Oh dear lord," he said. "Oh no...no, no, no, no, no, no."
"Do you now understand what we're dealing with here?" she asked in a grim tone. "If we allow her to get up there, she'll be unstoppable...if she gains the power from your audience, she'll probably try to take over Canterlot again in round two. And she won’t stop there, she'll probably try to take over all of Equestria...maybe even this world too."
"FUCK!" Jon roared. "Why does she have to come to me though? Didn't you say they already had a good system going for them back home!?"
"Like I said their livelihood depends on how much love they get...that's how they survive." Trixie explained. "I'm no expert, but the way I see it...after her failed attempt to take over the throne, I'm guessing Chrysalis and her subjects are severely weakened and getting desperate."
"If that's her being weak, I fucking well don't what to see what she's like when her batteries are fully charged," Jon said with a frightened look on his face. Taking his hand, he began to rub his neck where she had previously choked him. "Jesus, we can't keep something that dangerous here any longer, we need to get rid of her!"
"What do you suggest we do?" Trixie asked. She already knew what Jon had in mind and was already equipped with her answer.
"Okay so...my original idea was to somehow get a message to Celestia about our problem...but the more I thought about it the more I don't like that idea...according to Chryaslis, she has contacts back at Canterlot Castle...I don't want to risk tipping her off while she's still here and putting my kids in danger...so now I'm thinking that our first priority is getting Queen Chrysalis out of my world and back in Equestria," Jon said. "I figure since she's in a weakened state, now she can't come back since she needed to trick Celestia into getting here in the first place...so why don't you use your magic to teleport her out of here?"
"It's not that simple," Trixie said. "Already there are a lot of flaws in your plan."
"Like what?" Jon asked.
"For starters, as I've said I'm not...that proficient in the type of magic you're talking about." She explained. "Remember when I tried to teleport you to Cloudsdale?"
"How can I forget?" Jon said with a cringing expression. "You nearly killed me."
"Yes well...if you'll recall it took me awhile to stabilize the massive amount of magic necessary to get it done at all." She continued. "It was difficult to conjure that much power let alone control it for very long. What I'm trying to say is if I try to use my magic to force her back home it would take a while and we'd run the risk of her finding out we tried to stop her and rest assured she'd retaliate. If she sees me and thinks for a second that there's a chance we'd stop her she'll won’t think twice about killing me."
"Well then...we'll give you time! I'll just...I don't know...ok how bout we let you prepare you're spell from like across the room or something?" He said. "That way...that way she doesn't see you. I'll just ask her to follow me or something and bam! You got her."
A new wave a hope within Jon made him stand up, and smile at Trixie. She didn't share Jon's new found faith and expressed it by shaking her head which caused him to sit back down.
"Better...but that won't work either; as I've said my magic isn't as powerful as I'd like it to be. For me to cast a successful teleportation spell I need to be close range and preferably for my target to be still." She explained.
"Something tells me she's not going to obligingly stand still for that long for us." He said. "Maybe we could knock her out or try to get her to go to sleep."
"Good idea but I don't think Chrysalis would fall for a trap like that. This is her chance to reclaim her power so she’s going to be on her guard for sure." She said. "Which brings me to my next point...even if I do managed to successfully cast a teleportation spell on her she could just use her magic to negate it before it takes it's full effect. We need to strike when she's at her most vulnerable but at the moment we don't have anything as leverage so we're just fishing with no bait."
In Jon's head he imagined what it would look like if Chrysalis sat in one spot not moving for a period of time. The concept was silly and unrealistic to him at first but in an instant he realized such a scenario wasn't so farfetched.
"Wait...yes we do...we do have a way of making her to that!" Jon said. "What if I told you I could get Chrysalis to sit perfectly still without moving for a decent amount of time. With her guard down and you'd be very close by?"
"If you said that...I'd say you’re crazy." Trixie said.
"N-no hear me out!" He stammered. "What if...you teleport her back to Equestria...while I'm interviewing her."
"Excuse me." Trixie said with a look of shock on her face. "You want me to teleport her during her interview...now I know you’re crazy."
"No, no think about it! Since it's the interview she'll have to stand still...also she won’t expect this during her segment." He continued. "She'll be too busy concentrating on what to say instead of what's going on around her."
"That's...actually not the worst idea I've ever heard of." Trixie admitted. To some degree she liked the idea but there were still some flaws that she felt needed to be pointed out. "There's still a problem though...where would I be? Remember I need to be close by for it to work."
"Simple. You'll be backstage." He suggested with a look of confidence like he found the answer to everything. "She and I will occupy the main stage and you'll be just a few feet away behind the backdrop...that'll work right?"
Once and for all Jon finally thought he had a fool proof plan but like before Trixie didn't seem convinced.
"This is a sound plan to be sure...but if I can't see my target it'll be very difficult for me to pull it off." She said with a guilty look. "Even if they're not that far away I can't teleport someone I can't see...that and the backdrop might be too thick for me to send my magic through."
"But...b-but whenever Celestia sends myself or a pony to here and back she does it form her throne…from another world." He stated.
"...Ok, yes it is possible to a teleportation spell without seeing you're target or being very close...but all depends on capable the pony is." She admitted. "In the case our princess she can do that because she's had a countless years of experience...I on the other hand...well let's just say I'm not at...accomplished as she is."
"So...my idea...not going to work." Jon said with a sour face.
"Doesn't seem like it." Trixie answered.
It was so silent the two could hear a penny drop but instead Jon dropped himself on the cough. He looked to be depressed while simultaneously anxious. Time was running out and he was a back and square one...this made him desperate again.
"Can't you just...I don't know, try to do it anyway?" he asked. "I mean, I mean have you ever tried to teleport someone from another room? Go outside and try on me! I know you can do it"
"Look, I appreciate the thought" Trixie said with an uncomfortable sigh. "But I don't think--"
"Ok, ok but how about this!" He interrupted. "How bout we forget about teleporting her and try something else! Yeah do you know any other spells that can help us? Maybe one that can--"
"Stewart, listen to me," She said in a stern tone. "I know this is very stressful for you but what you're asking for a lot here. I only know so much. At present I only know a small selection of magical abilities off the top of my head...most of which are very basic."
Having been shot down again Jon buried his head into his hands, still as frustrated as ever. He appreciated her willingness to help but never before did he wish that she was more proficient in magic.
"So...I'm guessing you don't have a 'magically fix everything spell' do ya?" Jon asked with a sigh.
"I'm a wandering magician; not the elements of Harmony." She answered. "Right now the only way I see dealing with her is for me to teleport her back home...I just need to think of a way of doing that without getting myself killed...if I had some of my spellbooks that might help."
"Spellbooks?" He asked.
"Yeah back home I had some magic tomes I picked up on my travels...they’re not much but they helped when it came to preparing magic." She explained. "Heck, some of them even had some spells I've yet to try."
"Could any of those alternate spells have been useful to us now?" Jon asked.
"Perhaps but I'm not entirely sure." She answered. "It's no good to think about it now...I left them back in my roaming wagon."
"Yeah along with everything you owned." Jon said. "Dammit...if only there was some way we could—"
Suddenly Jon stopped. Trixie noticed this and looked over at him, only to see that he now had a look on his face like he had just seen a large spider. She'd seen this look before; it was a look of epiphany.
"Oh my god," he said. Were it not for the fact that Jon was under an incredible amount of stress due to his present situation, he would have thought of this earlier. "That's it."
"What's it?" Trixie asked. Without answering, Jon jumped from his seat, yelling as loudly as he could.
"That's it!" he roared. Once again, Jon had another idea, an idea so powerful he almost trampled Trixie as he ran across the room. "I've got it!"
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
When Jon ran across the room Trixie practically had to combat roll to the side to avoid getting stepped on. When she pulled herself up, the sight of Jon frantically pulling out volume after volume of literature from his bookshelf greeted her. One by one he'd grab a book, look at it briefly, and then toss it behind him. Some fell on the floor while others landed awkwardly on his desk or chair.
"Stewart, what are you doing!?" She asked. Again Trixie was ducking and dodging, this time to avoid getting hit by a random novel or textbook.
At one point an encyclopedia found its way onto Jon's desk, knocking over his lamp and breaking the bulb.
"Stewart, calm yourself!" Trixie begged. She was concerned that perhaps he'd finally snapped. "What are you looking for!?"
"THIS!" Stewart yelled while holding a book in his hand. Turning around he walked up to her and slammed the large object in front of her like a football player spiking the winning touchdown. "You wanted a spellbook? Well BAM! Here ya go!"
Looking away from Jon's overly pleased face Trixie slowly lowered her gaze to the large leather book in front of her. It was very thick, and by the looks of it very old as well. Bookmarks sprang up from its pages like a crop field and based on how weathered the spine was it had been read multiple times.
Her eyes were now drawn to the front of the ancient looking tome. The image on the front was almost completely worn out but she could just barely make out an image of two Alicorns intersecting one another. Just below that was the title of the book as well as whomever it was that wrote it.
This heavy textbook was called "Advance spells and Enchantments" and according to the inscription toward the bottom it was written by someone named Starswirl the Bearded. Reading this attribution caused Trixie's mouth to hang in disbelief.
"What in the...S-Stewart...where in Celestia's name did you find this!? She asked as she flipped to a random page.
"I borrowed it." He answered with a grin. "From the personal library of Twilight Sparkle. You weren't here at the time but I once took a vacation in Equestria...that's when I found Twilight, and that's when I rented this book from her."
"Oh...this is no ordinary book." She said as she carefully turned page after page. Even the mention of her arch rival couldn’t distract her from this great find. "This is an ancient lexicon of high level magic...only a few ponies in existence will ever get to see something like this."
"Well then if there's a spell out there that can help us out then it's gotta be in here." Jon said. He waited till Trixie shifted through a couple more pages before addressing her again. "So what do you think? Have you found anything useful?"
"Well yes but...some of these spells are indeed useful though quite a bit of them are extremely difficult to use. There are some that would probably give Celestia a run for her money." She said as she went from page to page. "Give me a minute, Stewart. I need to categorize a list of spells that are within my difficulty range. And then from there I need to eliminate those that can't help us and those that require any ingredients...please be patient."
Patience was definitely not something that Jon had at the moment. He looked to his clock and worried if Selina was doing okay back at the office. The show wasn't scheduled to air just yet but it was getting uncomfortably close. Time was of the essence and even though things had taken a turn for the better they still didn't have solid plan yet.
Jon prayed that Trixie would find some kind of spell to make this all right. Maybe an incantation that can neutralize Chrysalis, or maybe something that can shrink her down to size...or at the very least a good recipe for bug spray. But so far she came up with nothing. He was tempted to again ask how it was going but he didn't want to interrupt her.
In practice Trixie would, on average, find at least two or three spells, per page, that would be more than helpful in defeating Queen Chrysalis. The only problem was that, like she predicted, most of them were far beyond her comprehension. Some spells were too advanced for her to even attempt while others took time to prepare and needed ingredients to complete; none of which they had.
Once she had exhausted almost every option for an offensive spell she worked her way to support magic on the off chance they could help
Of the few that Trixie could use, a lot of them were either defensive spells, or non-lethal ones. Useful yes, just not for what they had in mind. She didn't give up hope, though. Again none of them were helpful...that is until she got to a chapter on fortification.
"Eureka!" She shouted. "I think I got it!"
"No kidding!?" Jon said as he dropped to his knees and sat in front of her. "What’d you find? Please tell me it's some kind of pony death beam."
"Uh not quite...I couldn't find any attack spells that were easy enough for me to use." She said with an embarrassed cough. "But I did find...this!"
Turning the book around Trixie showed Jon a picture of a circular around a hexagon with an odd language written around it, as well as interconnecting lines and figures in the center. There was another circle next to it with roughly the same pattern just inverted somewhat. When Jon read its description it said something about magical transferal properties and long range usage.
"I don't understand...what is this thing?" Jon asked.
"This...this is called a ‘Transfer seal"' She answered. "Basically think of it as a...portal."
"You're going to open a portal to Equestria?" He asked.
"No, no, not exactly...here let me explain." She said as she cleared her throat. "See these two hexagons? Well it's like this...they are designed to absorb magic like a sponge...if one circle is infused with a spell then it gets transferred to the other circle."
"Ok, I understand so far." Jon said. "So...how will this help us?"
"Well it’s used for support like if you wanted to do long range magic spell. But see here's the thing...anypony standing on the outgoing circle will be affected by whatever magic goes through it." Trixie answered. Her explanation was enough for Jon to get an idea of what was being hinted at. "Remember your idea of teleporting Chrysalis back home during her interview? Well you’ll see, with this, I think we have a shot."
"Oh I get it!" Jon said. "So you're saying we can have one of these circles under Chrysalis' chair and another one backstage being handled by you."
"Exactly! That way all I'll have to do is transfer a teleportation spell to her side and WHAM! She's gone!" Trixie explained.
"Sounds great!" Jon exclaimed. "You'll do your thing and I'll do mine!"
"Which reminds me...Stewart I'm more than willing to do this for you." she said.
"Uh oh." Jon replied. "I don't like where this is going."
"Just listen to me...I'll do this but remember I'm still a pony...Equestria is still my home-world." She explained much to Jon's confusion. "What I mean is we're basically going to be sending a very dangerous creature someplace in Equestria...I want to make sure, wherever we send her, the ponies there won't get hurt."
"Ok, no problem. We'll send her to wherever the Changelings live." Jon said, getting a shake of the head from Trixie in return.
"Never been there." She answered. "I can't teleport somepony to a place I've never been to."
"Alright then send her to...uh...OH, I got it!" He exclaimed. "Send her to Canterlot Castle! That way Celestia will be able to restrain her! It's perfect! You'll send her right to the Princess, and with all threats gone from my world, I'll call her and warn her about what's going on...please tell me you can do this."
"Well, yes and no...I mean it's possible but, like with the Changeling's home, I've never been to Canterlot Castle either." Trixie said. Again their plan hit a snag but this time it was Trixie who had a solution. "But...you have."
"What are you saying?" Jon asked.
"I'm saying that, once I infuse the hexagon with a teleportation spell, it's going to need a destination point." She explained. "And that's where you come in...all you'll need to do is think of the princess' throne room, at some point during the spell's development, and I'll make it so the seal will automatically set that as the desired destination."
"So you're saying...I'll have to be in this transfer seal as well?" He asked.
"Yes but only long enough to set the waypoint." She answered. "After that you'll need to exit its radius so only Chrysalis will be affected."
"Then from there, she's out of our lives." Jon added. "We pull this off and she'll have a one way ticket to a royal beating. I love it!"
Getting up from the floor, Jon made preparations to leave. They only had a couple hours till show time and Jon wanted to hurry up. Trixie on the other hand had one last important point to go over with Jon.
"Stewart...before we head out we have one last issue to cover." She said.
"Oh what now. Please don't tell me there's still more bugs in our plan?" He said. "I know we're not working with very much but don't tell you still can’t do this."
"No I'm not. The plan...though risky, should work. In fact I'm certain it will, if we all play our parts right." She said assuredly. "The only problem is all of this will mean nothing if she gains any power from the audience."
As much as Jon was getting annoyed by Trixie’s constant second guessing he had to admit that she brought up a good point. Up until now they'd forgotten about the fact that while she's on stage she'll be subject to a serious amount of love.
"For me to pull this spell off I'll need some time...time in which she'll be growing in power." She continued. "And in that case we wouldn't really be accomplishing much...if anything we'd probably help in speeding up her invasion plan."
"Ok well, what if...what if I turn off the video feed so we aren't live?" Jon submitted. "Or if that doesn't work why don't I just make myself more interesting to draw attention away from her."
"I don't think that'd work. If you made it so her interview wasn't broadcasting she'd find out once she realized there was no love coming in." She said. "As for making yourself more interesting...no offense but if it’s between you and a talking pony I think she'll have you beat in terms of popularity."
Her explanation, though sensible and technically correct, was still a major blow to his ego.
"Ugh...you're right.” Jon said. “If I had to decide between an old fart and a talking animal I don’t think I’d choose any differently.
“This is a very complicated issue.” Trixie said. “Redirecting love isn’t an exact science.”
“No kidding…If only there was some way to make all the attention that would normally go to her fall onto...something...else." Jon said out loud while a thought was materializing in his head. Trixie saw this and asked if he was alright. But she got no response right away. Though in time a smile slowly crept onto Jon's face. "Trixie...this spell of yours...how long will it take?
"Oh uh...now that I think about it...how long does an interview usually go for?" She asked.
"An entire episode, including commercials, is a half hour with an interview taking up about five to seven minutes." He answered. His estimate frightened Trixie at first. On her best day it would probably take twice that long. But due to what was at risk Trixie threw away all doubts from her mind and spoke with confidence she never knew she had.
"Give me three minutes into the interview segment and I'll have it done." She said. "I'll prepare the spell for the first two thirds of the show and see if I can't get it done sooner...the real trick will be stabilizing enough magic to actually get it to work."
"Good." Jon cooed as he picked up his phone. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear."
"Who are you calling?" Trixie asked.
"A good friend of mine." He answered. "Someone with the ability to help us."
"W-wait a minute you're not trying to call Celestia are you!?" She urged. "Chrysalis will know, remember?"
"I'm not calling her." He said as he waited for his friend to pick up. "I'm calling someone much more powerful than Celestia...someone who has the ability to absorb love and attention even more than Chrysalis can."
This new and sudden declaration surprised Trixie to no end.
"You...you know a creature was such power?" She ventured.
"Of course I do." He said. "We go back a long ways." After a moment of continuous ringing a voice came from Jon's phone. It was one that Trixie did not recognize.
"Hello, Jon?" The voice said. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your show?"
"Hey, uh yeah I know but listen something has come up." Jon said back to the voice. "I know this is last minute but...I need your help."
For the next couple minutes Jon and the person on the phone exchanged words with one another. Both of them threw out names and phrases that Trixie did not understand but as time went on she understood what was going on. A few swapping of ideas later and the two finally came to an agreement.
"Alright so we understand each other?...Good! When I give the signal that's when you come out." Jon reiterated to the person on the phone. "Alright I'll see you there. Oh and one last thing...I know I don't need to tell you this but...bring your 'A' game."
With a click of a button Jon put his phone away and faced Trixie.
"So...what do you think?" Jon said. "Will this work?"
"Honestly...I think it will." Trixie said. "It's dangerous...but I know we can do it."
"Good...but Trixie...on the off chance that this doesn't work..." Jon said with a deep sigh. "If this doesn't work I'll try to hold Chrysalis back as long as possible...if that happens I want you to get Tracey and the kids and--"
"No." She said. "Don't. Don't talk like that...this will work. I'll make it work or die trying."
"And I appreciate that...but...but if it doesn't I want you to take my family and hide." Jon said pausing to crouch down in front of her. "Also...just in case I don't see you again...I'm really glad I had the honor of knowing the Great and Powerful Trixie." Without asking he stretched his arms forward and wrapped them around Trixie in a powerful hug. Although she tried not to, the worst case scenario did creep up in her mind, causing her to hug Jon back.
"Don't...don't be stupid." Trixie said holding back tears. "We're going to win...dammit we are going to win!"
The two of them stayed in a loving embrace till the sound of a car pulling up to the driveway got their attention.
"That must me my mom." Jon said signaling that it was time to leave. "Alright Trixie...you ready?"
Using her magic she levitated the book of magic spells to her side and conjured up her cape and hat to appear neatly in their correct locations.
"Yeah." She said. "I'm ready."
Following Jon, the two ran downstairs where the kids were already greeting their grandmother. Jon briefly explained to her that she needed to watch the kids while he and Trixie went to the office to take care of business. Neither of them revealed what was really going on though Jon's mother had her suspicions when Jon took an extra minute to say goodbye to his kids.
As to be expected, the kids didn’t like that Trixie was leaving them for the time being, but she assured them that she’d be back before they knew it. From there, Jon borrowed his mom's car and, with Trixie sitting in the back, set off back to work with what little time they had left.
By the time the two actually arrived at Daily Show headquarters, it was uncomfortably close for Jon to go on air. Before they left the house Jon called Selina and, at his request, she kept Chrysalis busy and most importantly away from the stage.
The time leading up to the actual show was spent reformatting the stage to appropriately handle having a pony guest on the show; or at least that's what was told to anyone who wanted to enter early.
Even before the audience members were allowed in, Jon's staff and some interns were busy on set with painting the hexagon from Twilight's spell book onto the floor. Trixie assured everyone that as long as the transfer seal was close enough to the subjects they would be affected. So to that end the entire set, on which Jon's desk was bolted to, was turned upside down and the symbol was painted underneath it.
A few of the more artistic interns did the same behind the backdrop. They painstakingly drew the same hexagon as was displayed in the book right down to every design and symbol. It was now almost time for the show to begin and, in preparation for this, everyone parted ways with Jon waiting just outside the entrance to the stage and Trixie behind the backdrop. By this time, the crowd had already swarmed in and taken their seats, each ready for the show to officially begin.
But perhaps the most anxious was Queen Chrysalis who was still in her Lyra form. To pass the time she was in the waiting room where she watched the TV in the corner and counted the minutes till her segment was up. Selina however was not with her but instead backstage delegating some last minute issues.
The plan had already been explained to her but she was still iffy on some details so for her own sake she decided to sneak behind the backdrop and consult with Jon's pony friend to help her understand. The space behind the backdrop of the show was narrow and dark with many loose floorboards and low hanging wires. Eventually she came to the spot that would be located directly behind Jon's desk and there, standing on all fours complete with a cape and magician’s hat, was Trixie.
She had the spell book spread out in front of her and directly on top of a circle that matched the one under Jon's feet. Her eyes were closed and she was taking look deep breaths, inhaling through her nose and exhaling out of her mouth. She was so focused she could even hear Selina coming over the sound of the audience making noise.
"Do you need something, Selina?" Trixie asked.
"Yes actually." She answered. "I'm still a bit confused about this plan."
"You needn't worry." Trixie said. "Stewart and I have it under control."
"Yes, well...it'd help ease my nerves if you'd run me through it once more." Selina retorted. It was understandable for someone like her to want some closure, so to help Trixie turned to the human assistant and gave her a look of empathy.
"Very well...here's the plan. This circle here in front of me will magically connect to the one under Jon's desk." Trixie began. "Once I properly activate it both will act as two halves of the same entity. When that happens, any spell infused in one will eventually be infused with the other. Anypony on top of, or directly interacting with, either circle will be affected by whatever spell is set within it."
Nodding her head Selina listened, occasionally writing down a note or two in her clipboard.
"Once I set a teleportation spell in here it will need a destination and that's where Jon comes in." Trixie continued. "All he'll have to do is visualize Princess Celestia's throne room and that spell will accept that as its destination since he'll be in the circle as well. From there all I'll need to do is stabilize enough magic in my horn and transfer said magic into the hexagons...it may take a little while for that much magic to calibrate itself into the two circles but once it does, it'll activate, fully sending Chrysalis back home."
"Forgive me for asking but do you really need the entire episode to pull off this spell?" Selina asked trying to sound respectful. "Seems like an awful amount of time."
Although it sounded mean Selina was right. Any other competent Unicorn with experience could probably have the spell activated much sooner. For someone like Celestia or Twilight activating the circle, infusing it with a spell then jump starting it with magic would take only a few minutes individually.
"It seems like a long time but that's mainly because...I'll be honest I'm not as proficient in magic as I'd like to be." Trixie admitted. "But the reason why this'll take a while is because I'm combining two spells together at once...in Unicorn terms it's called ‘binary casting’ which eats up magic at a much higher rate...so I need to pace myself here, less I pass out."
To signal that she was finished explaining herself, Trixie went back to her meditation. Though Selina was not yet done with her.
"One last thing," she said. "You said anyone in the circle or in direct contact with it will be affected by its magic."
"I did say that." Trixie said, her eyes still closed.
"But then won't that mean both you and Jon will be get sent away with that...that thing?" Selina asked.
"No...the hexagon on Stewart's side is mostly surrounding Chrysalis' spot...all Jon has to do is scoot back slightly in his chair and he'll be outside it's grasp." Trixie answered. "As for me, I'm going to stabilize a large amount of magic and then I'll put in the circle instead of sending a constant stream within it...by the time it registers my magic and fully activates, me and Stewart won't even be close to it...any more questions?"
Shaking her head, Selina turned on her expensive heals and made her way back to the to the entrance of the main stage, leaving behind only a bottle of water in case Trixie got thirsty. A few interns and stagehands were gathered just outside the main stage. Upfront was Jon getting ready for his cue to go on stage, take his desk, and begin the episode. She cut through the employees and walked up ride beside him.
"Jon, this is insane." She said bluntly.
"No, insane is when we invited Ralph Nader on show back in '08’" Jon said. "Talk about boring...the man constantly looks like his dog just died."
A couple of the interns behind him chuckled which caused Selina to look at them with glaring eyes. They quickly stopped after a stifled cough and, right away, she was back to talking with her boss.
"How...can you be so blasé about this?" She asked. "Jon...you could get seriously hurt out there. I talked with Trixie and for god's sake this plan of yours...what if it fails."
"It won't. I won't let it." Jon said. "And as for why I'm acting the way I am, well...it's almost show time."
His answer did very little to impress Selina or put her at ease. She responded by giving him an odd look.
"What?" Jon asked. "Someone around here needs to take charge...plus I need to set a good example for everyone in the office."
"Jon...I appreciate you're wanted to keep moral high, but I think you might be over your head here." She said. "I don't wish to nag but...but all this about magic and spells and incantations, I mean...is there no other option here...these creatures are dangerous and we know so little about them."
"You know what Selina?" Jon said as he counted the seconds till he had to go on stage. "You're right...I don't know much about magic or how it works. And yes Chrysalis may have an advantage over me in terms of power but at the same time...just look at where we are?"
Making a sweeping motion with her hands, he presented her with a view of the stage, his desk, and the audience while the humming of the cameras and machinery turning on filled their ears.
"She may have her magic." Jon said as he slowly made his way on stage. "But she's in my world now."
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
It was hard for Selina to adequately express how she felt about her boss at the moment. His family had been threatened by some other worldly monster and his only plan to get them out rested in the hooves of a Unicorn who, from what she understood, barely knew any magic.
She was impressed and yet, at the same time, somewhat abhorred by the fact that he could walk on stage with a smile on his face like nothing was wrong. Had it been her in this situation she would have found herself spiraling into the realms of madness.
For someone who claimed to be terrible at gambling, Jon had one hell of a poker face that night. To everyone watching, including his staff members, he looked as eager now as he did when he first took over the show from Craig Kilborn all those years ago. He may have had everyone fooled into thinking he was alright but deep down he was a whirlwind of emotions. Scared, angry, hopeful, anxious, he was all of these things and more. To him if even the slightest thing went wrong everything would fall apart, so he knew he had to keep a straight face throughout the show, lest Chrysalis were to suspect something.
His years of training made it so he would do just that as he walked across the stage and waved to the occasional audience members. The cameras were on but not filming so anything done now didn't get broadcasted, which Jon liked because it meant he could have some brief quality time with the live audience on the set before starting the show.
The walk to his desk seemed longer today than it usually did and at least once or twice Jon caught himself looking at the area of the backdrop where Trixie would most likely be. Everyone present could see that Jon looked to be fine, all but Trixie of course since she was out of sight. He trusted her with his life but the fact that he couldn't see her meant he was going in blind. For all he knew, she could have gotten scared and ran off by now, but even though he couldn't see her, he knew she was there, just as ready as he was.
He waved one last time and took his seat, ready to begin. He started to address the audience by thanking them for their patience...but they heard nothing. He did speak but his voice didn't carry over, possibly due to some audio malfunction. Such a thing may seem very inconsequential since the show hadn't even started yet, but that's not how Jon felt.
With heavy breathing and eyes which looked like they were watching a high pace tennis match Jon tried to ascertain what went wrong. He shifted in his seat and wondered what was happening and if this was only the beginning of many blunders to come.
Before he could go into a frenzy, he felt someone gently grab his shoulder and when he looked over to see who it was, he saw Selina standing behind him. Reaching over he grabbed his microphone piece which had fallen to the ground. She leaned forward and, like a fussy mother getting her kids ready for school, she attached it back onto his lapel.
Before leaving she gave him a wink and a pat on the shoulder which not only caused the audience to laugh but also gave Jon a little boost of confidence. Again, his mouth opened and he began to address the audience, taking individual questions and answering them the best he could. This went on till a stagehand gave both him and the audience the signal to stop talking. They did so and as a result lights began to turn on and the little red light which indicated what camera was broadcasting began to shine bright. The show had officially begun.
The audience waited with anticipation as the show's announcer spoke overhead. In just a few seconds they would be allowed to speak again.
"From Comedy Central Headquarters in New York," the announcer said. "This is the Daily Show with Jon Stewart!” As opening tittle theme, Bob Mould’s "Dog On Fire,” began to play, a camera made a sweep from a downward angle while the audience cheered with all their might. Eventually the camera closest to Jon zoomed in on him.
Jon took one last final deep breath as did Trixie who was now pointing her horn at the hexagon.
"Hello everyone welcome to the Daily Show! My name is Jon Stewart, oh BOY do we have a show for you tonight!" He said over the audience. "Uh, our guest tonight...the newest edition to our ongoing 'Equestrian Interviews,' Lyra Heartstrings will be on the show with us tonight!"
Most if not all of the audiences present were under the impression that tonight's episode was a normal one so for them to have lucked out like this meant that their cheering came back bigger and louder than ever. Jon however had other plans in mind.
"Fun fact about Lyra...It's actually a small constellation out of 48 listed by the 2nd century astronomer...Ptolemy...and uh, and is one of the 88 constellations recognized by the International Astronomical Union...It's, it's almost as if we just looked at that up on Wikipedia right before the show" Jon said getting a quick laugh in return. "Aaah yeah so, she'll be on the show later tonight, but right now I want to talk about gun control. For the past several days now..."
From there on out the rest of the show went remarkably well. Like before no one but a select few knew that Jon was actually setting up an elaborate trap; to those watching at home, nothing seemed wrong.
Jon wasn't the only one who was working it onstage. A few feet behind him behind a thick backdrop Trixie had already began the process in getting the magical transferring hexagon operational. She did so in increments throughout the show in conjunction with each of Jon's segments.
The first part of the show was spent by Jon talking about gun control and how the issue needs to be discussed while at the same Trixie used her magic to activate the hexagon. She used her magic to turn it from a just drawing done by the interns into a working entity.
This spell, though not considered to be too particularly advanced, took Trixie most of the first segment of the show to activate. By the time Jon told the audience that he would be right back from the first commercial she had barely just finished getting it up and ready.
The second segment of the show involved Jon talking about the United States’ debt crisis and how the government still hadn't properly dealt with it. Again while this was happening, Trixie wasted no time in getting the ready with the second phase of her spell. She worked while Jon made fun of politicians she had never heard of by using terminologies and insults she didn't understand.
For Trixie, this next step was a lot easier than the last. All she had to do was infuse within the circles a spell that hadn't been charged with magic. Which was like moving a large briefcase without any content. Even though it was easier than expected, this was two spells being combines together, which meant that it still took Trixie a little while before she complete it.
To her surprise, she actually managed to conjure the trap sooner than expected, which meant that the circle was now activated and was infused with her desired spell. The time between her momentary completion and the third and final segment was spent by Trixie having a quick breather and doing her best to not tire out early. She was tired but she still had a little more ways to go.
Meanwhile back on stage Jon was getting ready for the most important and most anticipated portion of the show. The last break of the evening was almost over and he was still sitting in his seat getting ready to the introduction of his guest. Sometimes during breaks, he liked to stand up and stretch but in this case he was sure if he tried to stand up his legs would give out.
He tried not to turn around and look towards the backdrop because he knew that behind that wall, Trixie was hard at work. So instead, he turned to his other side at where that same backdrop ended at a wall and hoped to god that everything was set up properly.
He was understandably nervous since the only thing going through his head was that of his family waiting for him back home. Once or twice, a worst case scenario tried to invade his mind again, but he quickly pushed it aside. He needed to have a clear mind right now more than ever.
To do this he sat back in his seat and rubbed his head. He needed to calm himself down so he began to imagine Celestia's throne room where all of this started all those months ago. He thought about how it felt to have the cold ground beneath his feet. He remembered how different their world smelled and how the air tasted strangely different yet similar. He could perfectly see in his mind her magnificent stained glass windows and tasteful decorations.
Jon regretted that he was going to send such a foul creature within such beautiful walls, but if anyone could stop her, it was Princess Celestia. Thinking about Canterlot castle made Jon smile. It was after all the place where he first met Celestia, sparking a chain of events that led him to discover the wonderful world known as Equestria.
Since then, he'd experienced new things he thought weren’t possible and met new friends, one of whom was right behind him. It was a pleasant thought which did not go unnoticed. Backstage, Trixie was focusing on her breathing to keep herself calm when the circle began to glow in power. Trixie knew what this meant...it now had its destination.
Like a kid finding out they’re late for school she quickly jumped from her seat and ran up to the circle on the floor, staring at it for a few seconds to be sure it was indeed ready. At the time the circle was active with a teleportation spell properly infused, but without enough magic for it to fully function it was nothing more than a gun without ammo. Knowing this she tilted her head back and began to concentrate on circulating what magic she had left to the tip of her horn. She needed a massive amount of magic for the spell to actually activate so from here she ignored all sounds and just tried to stabilize as much of her power as she could.
Everything was now riding on Jon and Trixie to fulfill their ends of the plan. If Trixie was telling the truth, the spell to get rid of Chrysalis would be activated in no less than three minutes into the interview which was more than enough for Jon to handle the Changeling Queen.
Jon knew that, at this point, the spell underneath him now had its destination leaving any further input on his end unnecessary. He was still deep in thought but he had now moved on to thinking about the people he loved. Both back at home and here in the studio. He vowed that he would see them again no matter what. He vowed he would win.
The sound of the last commercial break ending shattered Jon's reflective state of mind. All the pieces were now in play. Jon was sitting at the helm of the stage, Trixie was ready backstage, and Jon's support was nearby. All that was left was for the last piece of the puzzle. Chrysalis herself.
The crowd cheered at the sight of the Daily Show logo appearing. It meant that now the main event was about to start. They cheered and yelled wildly while the camera zoomed in on Jon slapping his desk like they were bongos. He looked like he was trying to dance while at the same time making pretend he was playing an instrument. He didn't speak right away which made the crowd to slowly calm down.
"Hey everyone welcome back my guest tonight!" He said as he twirled his pen. "She is a Unicorn resident of Ponyville and a proclaimed researcher of humans. Please welcome to the show, Lyra Heartstrings."
Like he would for any other guest Jon got up from his seat to eventually greet his guest though in this instance he only did so to now draw suspicion. No sooner did he make his introduction did Chrysalis make her way onto the stage where she was immediately greeted by cheers and yelling. Jon applauded too, but deep down, he felt nothing but contempt.
Jon watched as Chrysalis disguised as Lyra slowly made her way to the desk. She looked exactly like Lyra in every way shape and form but Jon could tell who she really was. Jon hated everything about her at that moment. The way she walked, the way she smiled, even the way she waved at the audience, all of it just fueled Jon's desire to walk up to her and punch her right in the face.
She walked almost coquettishly in nature and she had a look on her face like she was really happy to be present. Normally this would indicate to Jon that he picked a good person to interview, but all he wanted was to get her out of his life as soon as possible.
Eventually she did make it to Jon's desk and, with an evil grin, offered her hoof for him to shake. It was almost too much for Jon to bare. All his anger for her was curled up inside him like a rattlesnake poised to attack, but for the sake of the plan, he swallowed his pride and shook her hoof.
The hand to hoof shake lasted longer than usual with each party staring down the other. Jon gave him an overly firm grip to show that he didn't like her. Chrysalis did a similar action by using her magic to very delicately put pressure on his neck as if to say: "If I wanted to, I could."
Without saying anything, Jon went back to his desk. He was about to sit down when his guest called out to him.
"Aren't you going to offer me a seat?" She said.
It was loud on the set but Jon heard her request quite clearly. He took a deep breath and clenched his fist so tight his nails digged into his skin. It took all the restraint he had to not turn around and attack her though he greatly wanted to.
"Of course." He said with smile which neatly masked his anger. He offered her a seat which she gladly took. The crowd was just about done with their cheering when Jon sat down and faced to his opponent.
"I can do this." Jon thought with his hands folded in front him like he was praying. "...I can do this."
He took one last deep breath and with it he remembered everything that was at stake. His family, his friends, the fate of both his world and Equestria’s.
He then exhaled, expelling the same breath and any sense of doubt along with it. He was ready.
"Hello Lyra and welcome to the show!" Jon said with a smile. "Thanks for joining us here tonight."
"I'm just glad I could make it." She said back with a smile that matched his own. "I've always wanted to visit the human world...I'm also a big fan of the show so I'm really happy I could attend."
"You're not the only one." He said. "The audience didn't-- we didn’t advertise that tonight's interview would be an Equestrian...so yeah, as you might've guessed, they're pretty happy too."
Jon was right but never before did he wish he hadn't been. Yes the audience was elated to see Chrysalis which of course meant that her plan to absorb their love was going as scheduled.
According to Trixie, the process by which a Changeling consumes someone's love is slow moving at first, but as time goes on it gets stronger and faster. From what he understood, a Changeling's body takes in love hesitantly at first in order to determine what kind of love it is, but like a glutton, the host will want more and more and the longer the exposure, the more they take.
At this point even though Chrysalis wasn't getting that much power right away she immediately started to feel better since they was getting a tiny amount of magic from so many locations. Jon could stand to stall for time but if he didn't do something to transfer that love somewhere else soon then by the end of the show she would be hundreds of times more powerful than she'd ever been.
"So Lyra...it's really good to see you again after all this time." He said. "What most people don't realize is that...before--prior to some of these...t-these Equestrian Interviews I actually go...and meet up with the pony I want to invite on the show. In some cases I meet some other pony in the process...and of course that's how we met...remember that day?"
For the audience and those watching at home this was an interesting tidbit followed by an innocent question, but in actuality it was Jon giving Chrysalis a pop quiz. If she wanted to look like Lyra, talk like Lyra, and indeed think like Lyra, then she would get questions that only Lyra would know. Jon was somewhat scared that his line of questioning might enrage her since this was basically him trying to get her to break character.
Rather than being annoyed with Jon's underhanded scheme she smiled at him and answered as if she knew that he was going to ask that.
"Oh well yeah sure I do! If I recall you were walking in the streets...aaand I tackled you!" She answered, accepting Jon's challenge. "I think I apologized for that but if I didn't...yeah my bad."
"You made me-- I almost choked to death because of you! Then you nearly broke my spine." Jon said, purposely leaving out the details.
"Hey now, you make it sound like I attacked you! If you'll recall you were choking on your food and I rescued you...also, folks at home don't believe him, I didn't break his back...what happened was I accidentally made him throw out his back...but I fixed that too." She said. The crowd laughed at Jon's misfortune while she gave the host a smile. Rather than Jon annoying Chrysalis about her lack of knowledge, the exact opposite happened. Her proficient knowledge of Lyra was getting on Jon's nerves. "Anyways again I am sorry that we got off on the wrong hoof...I was just really excited to finally meet you!"
"Why?" Jon asked. The way he said it so bluntly made the audience laugh, something which Chrysalis didn't like. It may have been his show but to her she was main attraction, not him.
"Well I'm just really interested in human mythology." She answered. "In fact I--"
"Mythology?" Jon interrupted. "...I'm right here!" Again the audience laughed at Jon's brand of humor forcing Chrysalis to wait for them to quiet down before speaking again. Before she could explain herself though Jon sprung in to take control of the interview once again.
"Now like I said before a lot of people watching are surprised to uh...uh to, to, see you here." Jon continued. "Since of course you weren't originally scheduled to come on and I had to call to get you on the show last minute...but what I'm surprised to see...or uh rather uh, not see...is your companion...the mare I saw with you when we first met Ms...uh what was her name again?"
Like before, Jon's questions were actually him covertly trying to get Chrysalis to fumble with her performance on live television and, like before, Chrysalis was well prepared.
"Oh you must be thinking of my girlfriend...Bon Bon." She answered having clearly done her homework. "Yes I do realize we're usually always spotted together and well…what I can I say? We very much love each other’s company. As for why she's not here...I asked if she wanted to come with me but she declined...she said she was too busy but really she's just camera shy. That’s why, when Celestia asked, I told her I’d be coming alone. "
Not only did she correctly answer Jon's question but she managed to accurately hold her own without faltering. At first, Jon thought his little stunt was risky, but he soon found that Chrysalis had somehow researched her part beforehand.
The reason for this was she actually had her Changeling subjects spy on Lyra for just this reason. She thought she would make the perfect patsy. At this rate, Jon wasn't getting anywhere and already a full minute had passed. If he wanted to get rid of her now was the time. No amount of preparation could prepare her for what was about to happen.
Even with Jon not liking to have to put his friends in harm’s way never did he hesitate to call on the help of those he's trusted most. The first friend he asked was of course Trixie who was still in the back trying to accumulate as much magic as possible. She was helpful but by no means the only person who agreed to assist Jon. In fact there was another, someone who at that very moment was waiting for his signal to enter.
"We can-- Maybe in the future we can maybe get her to come on the show time." Jon said as he scratched the back of his ear. "I mean it would be nice to talk to her about--"
"JON STEWART!"
Without warning the sound of someone yelling out Jon's name ripped through the set. Whoever said it, did so through a voice amplification device so it was impossible to pinpoint where exactly it came from but it was loud enough that everyone heard it. Numerous wandering eyes looked in all direction to see who it was; even Trixie who was still focusing on stabilizing her magic got distracted for a second.
"What!?" Jon said in overly dramatic fashion. "Who said that!?"
"It was me Jon!" The voice boomed. From behind him a panel opened from the side of the stage revealing a hidden door. It slid open and out from its dark enclosure a lone figure stepped out. Jon still had his back to the person so he technically couldn't see him but he knew who he was...and so did everyone watching the show.
Within a second of his arrival, everyone present in the audience identified the figure and, with faces like they'd just seen Jesus' second coming, stood up to cheer and shout. In preparation for this Selina, as well as the older staff members, covered their ears, leaving the newer interns to learn firsthand just how loud an audience can get.
Their shouting was so boisterous everyone working backstage and in the building's main office could hear them. Trixie tried to ignore them but she soon found it impossible. She couldn't see what was going on but even she knew who it was. There was only one person who was left in the dark.
Looking back on this, there were two things that Queen Chrysalis wished she had known that, at the time, she did not. The first being who exactly was this human that had arrived without warning. And two: why, upon his arrival, did the flow of love that she had previously been accumulating had suddenly stopped. Not slowed down, or momentary stopped...but had been completely cut off from circulation. The reason for this was because it was now being redirected to a new source.
Had she done more research, she would have known the human who had emerged from backstage was more than just some stranger complete with a dark black suit and perfectly parted hair. But was in fact one of Jon's oldest friends, and former correspondent...the one, the only, Stephen Colbert.
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
Comedy Central had learned long ago that, individually, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were great at what they did. This is why they got their own shows; the Daily Show and the Colbert Report respectively. Another thing they learned was, when the two got together, they were a lethal combination; a true force to be reckoned with.
They placed them together for special events and (before the days of the Equestrian Interviews) would have one visit the other on the show whenever ratings were down. Back then, the most popular episodes were the ones that had them together in the same room. One famous example of their explosive chemistry was when Jon decided to have his “Rally to restore Sanity” and later the decision was made to have Stephen have his own event called the “Rally to keep fear alive,” then combine them together.
Having them work together was the studio’s ace in the hole. A last resort if all else failed...this was also one of those times.
"Oh my God!" Jon said still in his overly dramatic voice and facing the camera. "Stephen Colbert, what are you doing here and why do you have...a giant mustache?"
"Yes. What...am...I doing here?" Stephen said as he twirled his comically over sized mustache and raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.
"Oh well I uh...I'm, I'm actually not entirely--"Jon stammered before cutting himself off. "Actually I'm more concerned with the evil mustache you seem to--"
"I'll tell you what I'm doing here!" He interrupted. "I'm here to take what's mine."
Everything about this man just perplexed Chrysalis. Who he was, why he was here, and most of all why his appearance seemed to have garnished more attention than her own. She hadn't yet put two and two together that Stephen’s being here had caused the flow of love to stop. For her, the notion that some mere human was yielding more attention than her was impossible.
Her confusion would have been very noticeable on TV were it not for the fact that every camera was now either on Stephen or in an angle where only he could be seen behind Jon. Only a very select few cameramen had any prior knowledge of his appearance but everyone present had worked in the entertainment industry long enough to know what, when Stephen Colbert walks into a room, all eyes are on him.
"Stephen, what are you talking about?" Jon asked with his back still to his friend.
"Yes. What...am...I talking about?" He responded.
"Right?" Jon said in confusion. "Also, why are you talking like tha--"
"I'll tell you what I'm talking about!" He interrupted again. "You have something...that I want!" After he was done talking he paused for dramatic effect, which gave the guest of the night an opening.
"Excuse me?" Chrysalis called out from off screen. "What's going on here?"
"I assure you I...I have no idea what you're talking about." Jon said, ignoring his guest.
"Oh I think you do." Stephen said. "I think...you...do."
"Stephen!" Jon said. "I'm telling you I don't know what you're--"
"I am not Stephen Colbert!" Stephen Colbert said.
"Then...uh, who are you?" Jon asked.
"Yes. Who...am...I?" He responded.
"Okay that's...seriously, you need to stop doing that!" Jon demanded.
"If you must know I am his evil twin brother...Stefan Kelbert!" He answered. "And for too long now have you pranced about with these...creatures!" Pointing ahead of him a camera panned out to get the two of them and Chrysalis.
"Ah yes that's better." She said. "Now then about my--"
"What's your point...Ste...Stefan?" Jon asked.
"My point is...you sicken me!" He said bluntly. "Trying to compete with my brother and his show is one thing but when you take away ratings that could otherwise go to him...that shit's personal!"
"I'm still not entirely sure why you're here." Jon said, looking worried.
"I'm here because I want in on this!" He said. "You will give the secrets to these ponies to my handsome brother and he will use them on his show!"
"I'm sorry...Mr. Kelbert but I just can't give my ponies to a man I've apparently never met before." He explained
At this point Chrysalis was understandably worried about the fact that she wasn't getting any power. Her better judgment was clouded by everything that was going on. Lacking any knowledge of who this man was and his relationship to Jon she was left feeling extremely confused. To her it almost looked as if these two men were fighting over her. Like a child she called out for attention but all eyes were still on Stephen.
"Well if you can't give them to me...then perhaps you'll give them to someone else!" Stephen said.
"Someone else?" Jon asked. "Like who, mysterious stranger."
"Someone...like ME!" He roared as he tore of his mustache off. The camera that was closest to him zoomed in on his face causing the audience to once again cheer and applaud.
"Oh my god...again!" Jon said. "Stefan Kelbert was Stephen Colbert the entire time!"
"That's Reverend Sir Doctor Sen. Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert, D.F.A, Heavyweight Champion of the World to you, Jon!" Stephen said with a crazed look in his eye and without faltering, causing the audience to cheer. "And I'm still here to take what I deserve! Come on Jon...give me your ponies...you know you want to!"
"Stephen, I'm sorry, but I’m going to have to say ‘no.’" Jon said. "You can't just barge in here unannounced and take whatever you want."
"Yes I can!" He answered back. "Because I'm an American!"
While the crowd cheered for Stephen's love of all things baseball and apple pie, Chrysalis was trying to get their attention.
"Hey, what's going on here?" She asked. When no one paid any attention to her, she began to get frustrated. "Hey cameraman! Am I even in the shot?" No one answered any of her questions.
"Why do you even want to interview these things anyway?" Stephen asked. "For god’s sake, they're just a bunch of little ponies!"
"They’re not just a bunch of little ponies...they're my little ponies!" Jon exclaimed causing the audience to cheer with excitement. "And my answer is still the same...you can't have them."
"I see...well in that case...I'm afraid I, Stephen Colbert...will have to take them from you by force ." He said.
"Oh well you put it that way," Jon said, as he slowly slid his hand under his desk. "Then I guess...we'll...just...have to...FIGHT!"
With a graceful leap, one would expect from a man Jon's age, he quickly turned around and faced Stephen with a toy replica of a lightsaber. He slightly fumbled getting it to work but eventually he managed to fully extend the toy sword whereupon he walked backwards to round his desk while the crowd cheered him on and took photos.
Not to be outdone by his slightly older mentor, Stephen adjusted his glasses, took a heroic stance, and violently trusted his left arm outward with his fingers outstretched like he was summoning something.
When nothing happened for a few seconds a hefty intern jogged up behind him brandishing what looked like a giant hammer. When he got closer to Stephen the camera zoomed out more to get a good view of both of them revealing that the intern had a replica of Mjölnir, Thor's hammer.
He placed the weapon in Stephen's hand but he refused to grasp it, forcing the intern to manually close his fingers for him. He was now holding the Scandinavian weapon in his hand, but he still refused to move from his battle stance. That is until the intern produced a barber's brush and wiped away any debris from Stephen's shoulders.
After giving the intern a three dollar tip for his services, Stephen calmly walked down from his corner of the set and took his position directly across from Jon with only the Daily Show desk separating them.
The camera was positioned to show the two TV legends glaring at each other with Chrysalis still in her seat, looking very much confused and trying to make sense of what was going on. But at the same time there was also something going on behind the scenes. An important fourth party had just finished taking care of her own agenda.
Unbeknownst to the three on stage, Trixie had just gathered the necessary amount of magic needed to activate her trap. Carefully but quickly she placed the large amount of energy onto her side of the transfer circle. She had left herself only a small amount of magic, because giving away too much would cause her to faint like an individual who had donated too much of their own blood.
The hexagon was now transferring the magic over to the one under the stage like a cellphone being charged. All that was needed was for Jon and Stephen to distract everyone for the next couple of minutes while the spell slowly took effect, which they were now in the process of doing.
Like children in a playground the two friends began to slap fight each other with their memorabilia items on stage for the world to see, acting in forced antipathy. Jon held his lightsaber with both hands and swung wildly like Jackson Pollock on a caffeine drip while Stephen just looked like he was playing a particularly aggressive game of 'Whack-a-mole.'
The fight went on with no one getting the upper hand; the plan wasn't to have a brilliantly choreographed fight scene or to show any indication of skill. Their main goal was to look as foolish and uncoordinated as humanly possible and they did so most adequately.
The sight of two grown men fighting with toys was enough to send the crowd into an uncontrollable state of frantic cheering. And as before even though Chrysalis was in plain view, no love was coming her way, but instead to the two comedians, with a large percentage of it going to Stephen himself.
While this was happening, the circle of magic which was underneath the set was growing in power. At this point it was at about 32% complete with Chrysalis none the wiser.
For the sake of the audience who were watching at home, the camera changed gears to get a sweeping shot of the audience. This was done to show their reactions but also to give Jon and Stephen time to prepare for their next session. Chrysalis was dumbfounded to see two immediately drop their weapons and scramble to get things ready for another skit.
When the camera returned Jon and Stephen were still in front of the desk, but while the camera was away from them an intern came on stage and placed a small terrier in between them. The audience watched while the two tried to coax the small dog to them by increasingly ridiculous methods.
"Come here boy!" Jon yelled as he held up an squeaky toy. "I got a nice toy for ya!"
"No come over here !" Stephen challenged as he held up a picture of Ronald Reagan's face in one hand and a document in the other. "Come to me and you'll be granted a tax exemption of up to 15% as long as you make a net worth of $1500 per month!”
The white and brown dog was trained to not leave its spot no matter what so it just endlessly looked to back and forth in confusion as the two the continued to try and win by gaining its attention.
"Look what I got, Fido!" Jon said, escalated the arms race by holding up an enticing uncooked steak. "There's more where that came from over here!"
"Hey! Remember when you got fixed!?" Stephen asked as he produced a zip-lock bag which contained something that had the look and texture of raw meat. "You can have em back...all you need to do is come to me!"
The two of them weren't the only one's making a commotion on live TV. In the heat of the moment Queen Chrysalis was starting to feel the effects of not being noticed, still unaware of the impending trap which was now at 63% completion.
"Hey! S-stop this!" She yelled. "Stop whatever it is you're doing! This is supposed to my interview!" She screamed for attention but couldn't be heard over the performance of Jon and Stephen, as well as the yelling of the audience. Things only got more one-sided when again, the camera switched from the stage to the audience again for another reaction shot. Like before, this was done to give the two on stage time to prepare for their next bit.
Chrysalis watched as the two immediately took opposing seats on the desk. Jon had pulled out something from under his seat that she'd never seen before and the two continued their fighting. When the camera returned to the set the audience now saw the the two comedians with already setup "Battleship stations" in front of them. Their war was not over yet, at least not until the spell was complete; which, at the moment, was at only 78%.
"E3!?" Jon yelled.
"Miss!" Stephen responded. "G7!?"
"Miss!" Jon answered as he put the corresponding indicator on his side. "A2!?"
"Miss!" Stephen said. "L10!?"
"SON OF A BITCH! HIT!" Jon yelled while making a face like he was trying not to laugh. Before speaking he took a second to think about his next move. "D5!?"
"Nooooooo!" Stephen yelled. "You sunk my battleship!" In anger he swung his arms across the table sending children's toy tumbling to the ground surprising everyone who saw. Still brimming with conservative rage Stephen grabbed a hold of Jon's hand forcing him into a battle of thumb wars while Chrysalis looked on, trying not to break character.
Unknown to everyone including Jon, the spell was almost complete. While the two friends aggressively fought to get the upper thumb, and pin their opponent for three seconds, the spell had just cross the threshold of being 90% complete.
This time instead of having a wide angle shot of the entire set the camera had zoomed in on Jon and Stephen. Lost in the chaos that was their performance the cameramen had all but forgotten about Queen Chrysalis in the corner who was still desperately trying to bring the attention to her.
She screamed and hollered at anyone nearby in the vain hope that she would be noticed again. When it was clear that the two comedians in front of her were what the audience wanted and not her, she began to get angry. She tried her hardest not to explode with rage since doing so would be very out of character for Lyra, but when she looked over to see the screen on the side edge of the set (which had a live feed of what audiences were looking at) she noticed that she wasn't even visible anymore. This was what tilted her over the edge.
"ENOUGH OF THIS!" She ordered as she jumped in front of the desk to get in the view of the camera. Using her magic, she managed to amplify her voice so that it would carry over everyone else's. Her voice was so loud and the audio feedback from her mic so pain shriekingly sharp that everyone silenced themselves. As she wished, all eyes were back on her, but the amount love coming her way was still ever tardy.
She looked to be somewhat out of breath, mostly due from all the shouting she was doing beforehand. Her angry eyes looked around the room just to make sure that she was once again the center of attention.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, BUT DAMMIT, THIS IS MY TIME AND I WILL NOT BE OVERSHADOWED BY A HUMAN!" She roared. Taking another breath, she slowly made her way back to her seat and sat down while a scared cameraman followed her movement. "Now then...my interview will continue normally, the new human will leave, and all of you will give me the attention that I deserve…OR ELSE!"
To demonstrate, as well and intimidate, she slammed her hoof against the ground causing a slight tremor to shake the building. This was done by her sending a shock-wave of magic down into the ground to replicate an earthquake.
After her rant came to an end, the entire set went silent. The audience was left more confused than Chrysalis herself had been, and those who weren’t looked scared. They wondered if this was all part of the interview segment or perhaps some form on unscripted crisis.
Much like the audience themselves Jon and Stephen were left scared and confused, respectively. Stephen wondered what exactly was going to happen while Jon was scared by the fact that Chrysalis was still present.
He quickly looked down at his clock then back up at his guest.
"Something is wrong." Jon thought to himself. "Why is she still here?" Chrysalis' presence only made him more anxious when he realized that she should have been teleported nearly a full minute ago. What he didn't know however was that backstage Trixie had miscalculated the amount of magic needed to get the spell operational. This oversight had made it so that spell was now stuck at 90%
It was as she feared from the start; Trixie blundered yet another simple spell.
"Hey, Jon?" Stephen whispered. "When is this spell of yours supposed to kick in?"
"It should've already happened." Jon answered. "I...I don't know what went wrong?"
"HEY!" Chrysalis yelled from across the room at Jon. "Stop your whispering and get over here! Tell your friend to leave now!"
"Dammit...we need more time." Jon said. Accepting that the plan might have failed, Jon slowly inched his way forward in accordance with Chrysalis' orders. But before he could get any closer Stephen placed a firm hand on his shoulder and yanked him back.
"Don't worry Jon." He said as he adjusted his tie. "I got this."
Rather than following orders, Stephen stepped up and began a confident stroll up to the dangerous pony who was glaring at him so hard that Jon could feel it. The audience said nothing as did Jon, they both eagerly awaited to see what he would do. Were it not for the fact that she was still on live television Chrysalis would have used her magic to cause him bodily harm. But since she didn't want to give herself away she instead just waited to see if he'd leave. He didn't.
"Lyra right?" He said. Without asking he grabbed her hoof and shook it a couple of times before she jerked it back. "Nice to meet ya kid...didn’t mean to cause any harm." With eyes that looked like they could kill she glared at Stephen while he took out a small bottle of hand sanitizer and rubbed it on his hands.
"Apologize." She demanded. "I want to hear you apologize to me for interrupting my interview."
"Very well. I apologize that I’m so much more interesting. There." He said.
"Excuse me!" She said in shock. Turning on his heels Stephen walked forward to face the camera while simultaneously pointing to Jon.
"Oh and Jon! I take back what I said about wanting your ponies…you can have em'!" He said. "Because I have something even better! Something that you will never have!" Unsure of where he was going with this, Jon looked over and his guest who looked like she was about to erupt with rage, then back at Stephen.
"And...what would that be?" He asked.
"That would be the millions people in the world who are proud members of the Colbert nation!" He answered as he pointed at the audience with two hands. "WHOOOOOOO!"
It was at that moment, more than at any point during the program, did Jon seriously feel as if someone was trying to take over his show. The audience took Stephen's bait and, just as he planned, began to pay tribute to their beloved TV host.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
The crowd jumped to their feet and against the wishes of the guest began to do their trademark chants.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
Jon listened to the crowd getting louder and faster with their chanting hoping that this would be the push in time needed to get the spell working again. What he didn't know was Trixie had found a solution to the problem of the spell being null in void.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
As the chanting continued the spell began to slowly grow as the magic climbed in tiny increments. It was now at 91%.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
92%
Up until now, Chrysalis had to endure finding a way to get to the human world, trick both Celestia and Jon to get on the show, and put up with the wacky antics of the comedy duo on stage, but she took it all calmly and methodically. But this, this was too much for her.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
93%
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
To have someone else steal the spotlight on her time was frustrating enough for Chrysalis, but now they were chanting his name during her interview segment. She could take it no longer.
94%
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"SHUT UP!" She demanded. "I ORDER YOU TO STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"YOU IDIOTS ARE PRAISING A MERE HUMAN!" She continued. "DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!? I'M WHAT YOU WANT!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
95%
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
The crowd was so loud that Stephen couldn't hear the sound of Chrysalis yelling at them even though she was only a couple feet away. The chanting got faster and faster making it increasingly harder for anyone to hear anything.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"STOP IT!" Chrysalis said as she jumped up and down in her seat, "STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
96%
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
For Chrysalis having to hear this was like hearing one’s own birthday party start without you. All the love and attention she planned to obtain was now being given to someone else. And to add insult to injury it was to a human. Despite her best efforts to stay calm petty jealousy took control of her and she soon found herself aiming her horn at Stephen's back.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
97%
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!!!" Chrysalis yelled.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
"Come on Trixie you can do it." Jon thought to himself. "Come one...come one..." He was still on the sidelines anxious about what would happen; he felt like his feet were encased in cement and his face gave the impression that he had lost control of everything. Till now he was perfectly content with letting Stephen stand on the edge of the set and address the audience like a music composer. But then he noticed Chrysalis was now charging her horn with magic.
"Oh no." He thought. "What is she doing?" But of course he knew exactly what she was doing, the look in her eyes told it all. There was some issue on what exactly she going to cast with her horn but one thing that Jon knew for certain was it was aimed squarely at Stephen and that it was meant to deal massive damage.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
98%
"Stop it." Chrysalis said once more her voice low since she was now concentrating on gather a large amount of magic. And of course the crowds cheering was so great Stephens still couldn't hear anything.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
Jon didn't remember ever leaving his present location or even thinking about what he was about to do. It was as if his brain was being sped up so much that he couldn't tell that his body was now acting on its own.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
All remembered was thinking that his first priority had not changed. It was to get Chrysalis out of here before she had the chance of hurting any of his friends, which he vowed to do no matter what.
"STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!"
99%
"I. Said." Chrysalis muttered to herself. "STOOOOOOOOOOO --"
"STEPHEN WATCH OUT !" Jon yelled. With all his strength Jon bolted himself over the side of his desk and tackled Chrysalis with all his weight before she could cast her magic. His plan worked but only just barely. In the long run all he really did was change the trajectory of her projective by a few feet.
With Stephen pandering to the audience he almost missed seeing a burst of light coming from the corner of his eye. But more than anything he could feel a great heat from behind him. It was as if a giant ball of fire flew across the room and into the sky. He was wearing a three piece suit and he could still feel a sweltering heat against his back.
For the first time since the chanting, Chrysalis finally got the audience’s attention in the form of a huge burst of magic colliding with the ceiling where it completely obliterated some equipment. The room was now quiet but this only lasted a few seconds for soon those watching from the rafters were now squirming in their seats and whispering amongst themselves.
Stephen turned to see where the magic had terminated and was in shock to see that a large chunk of the building was now gone, leaving a perfectly round indication. He turned to his other side where the magic originated from expecting to see his friend or at the very least a very angry Chrysalis. None were present.
Both he and the audience looked onward in awe at the spot where the host and guest were. Not only were they gone but a there was a circular scorch mark on the floor. It took Stephen only a second to put two and two together and, without a word, he sprang into action.
"Someone cut the feed!" He yelled as she rushed to the backstage. "You! Hurry up and put out a press release! And you! Get the interns all together to answer the phones. If anyone asks we're just going through some 'technical difficulties.'"
Selina was just outside the backstage entrance and, although it would ordinarily fall on her to coordinate things while her boss was away, she let Stephen walk by her and take control while she just stood in horror. Her gaze was locked on the guest's chair where Chrysalis was sitting. She could hardly believe what she saw, in the blink of an eyes both Chrysalis and Jon got teleported away. The plan had worked...but it took Jon with it.
She stood there paralyzed for a moment unable to think straight. Soon the sound of Stephen barking out order snapped her out of her stupor.
"HEY! Someone hurry up and answer that! We still have the rest of the show to fill up!" He yelled. Turning around he grabbed Selina by the shoulders and made it so she could see him. "Selina! Where do we keep the backup entries!?"
"Oh uh...it's...it's in the storage room." She answered.
"Hey! Someone tell the boys in the back to play one of the backup logs!" He said. "I don't care which just do it! We still have a show to put on!"
Rumors and speculations had already begun to spread through the crowd. They were unsure of how to feel about anything that was going. But nevertheless they stayed and waited to see what would happen next while the back was in a frantic scramble to salvage the show.
Selina admired their resolve, but at the same time she felt like she was the only one who cared that Jon had been taken away. To help, she quickly rushed behind the stage and yelled as loudly as she could to get the attention of the one who made all this possible.
"Trixie! Trixie we have a problem! You're spell worked but you accidentally took Jon too!" Selina said. "We need you to bring him back! He's in serious danger right now!"
When no one responded, she figured it was because she was tired from having pulled of a massive spell that was too much for her. So to help meet her halfway, she began to make her way to the center of the stage behind the backdrop, ducking under hazardous wires and stepping over planks of wood.
"Trixie are you awake!" She asked. "We need you to bring Jon back...Trixie? Trixie can you hear me." Eventually Selina made it to where Trixie was. She stopped and quickly did a double take. She couldn't believe what she saw, or rather what she didn't see...her costume was there as was her book of spells, but Trixie herself was nowhere to be seen.
Concerned, she searched the area on the off chance that she had wandered off, but upon further investigation, she saw something that chilled her to her very core.
"Oh no." She said as she knelt down. With her eyes now adjusted to the darkness, she could now see that over the hexagon was the same scorch mark that was left on the main stage. She was gone too.
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
Jon Stewart was a man of many beliefs. One thing he believed was that if you have something, or someone, that's important to you and its being tested or put in harm’s way, then it's your duty to protect it. Otherwise it's not something you love, but rather something you just say you love.
This was the case when it came to Queen Chrysalis. To him, her very existence meant that everything he loved and had worked for was in danger and it was his job to deal with it. Back at Daily Show headquarters, when he saw her point that jagged horn of her’s at Stephen Colbert, all he could think of was how if this thing were to stay any longer no one would be safe.
When he tackled Chrysalis, their bodies didn't even have time to touch the ground before they both got teleported away. They got sent away mid-collision so their ride was turbulent at best.
In his short time in dealing with magic, Jon had been teleported by different ponies at different times to different places, but Trixie's style was by far was the most bizarre to work with. Unlike Twilight or Celestia, where a teleportation was quick and instantaneous, Trixie's process was longer, presumably to account for her being less skilled.
For a while it felt as if they were just sailing through a void of empty space which was made all the more nauseating by their constant flailing. But soon the two crashed back into reality in the form of them landing gracelessly on the cold hard ground of Canterlot Castle.
“Oof!” Jon moaned as he made contact the ground. When he opened his eyes he immediately noticed that his surroundings were different. “Wh..what?...Where am--what happened?” Because of the angle in which he got teleported Jon was left staring upward at the ceiling. When he gazed at it, he realized where he was. Instead of being on set of his show he was now in Canterlot…with Chrysalis.
“Oh, fuck.” He said.
He had landed with a great amount of force, with the brunt of the force being administered to his back. This brought back nostalgic memories of when he first met Celestia. She had teleported him from his house all to her throne room and when he arrived he had done so in a similar fashion to this one.
"Celestia!" Jon said in painful voice.
The thought of her snapped Jon out of whatever dream like state he was in and, as a result, he quickly shot up and looked straight ahead. Instead of the Celestia he saw the long stretch of space that had the door to the rest of castle at the end of it. Blocking the way was, to his dismay, Queen Chrysalis. She was still hunched over, in pain, and in her Lyra form. Unlike Jon, she didn't have such an easy landing. While Jon just suffered from a sore back, Chrysalis had landed on her shoulder so hard, her head bounced off the floor, disorientating her to the point where she couldn't stand.
Jon used this momentary opening to jump to his feet and turn around to where the royal throne was. Around this portion of the plan, Jon would have already called Celestia to warn her that the pony who had just appeared before her wasn't Lyra but Chrysalis. But since Jon was now physically here he decided to cut out the middle man and just tell her himself.
"Celestia!" Jon yelled. "Quick! Use your magic! That's...not..."
As if someone had sucked all the air out of him Jon stopped in his place and momentarily forgot how to speak. The royal seat was there in front of him, atop a long set of stairs as it always had been, but this time it was completely vacant. He looked to the side of the elevated platform and then to his left and right.
The only thing present was a small sign attached to the front of the chair with bold letters that read: "Am currently unavailable; be back in 15 minutes."
The sign just stood there, crooked as if to taunt Jon. It was such an easy thing to overlook but Jon just felt stupid for not thinking that perhaps she wouldn't be in this particular area at this particular time. No one was there to help him. No one but Chrysalis to keep him company and no one other than himself to blame.
"You've got to be kidding me." Jon said to himself. "Celestia...of all the times you had to go on a lunch break."
Many emotions were now exploding within Jon's person. Fear for what Chrysalis might do to him, anger for himself for falling into his own trap, anxiety over what would happen next, but one thing he felt oddly enough, was a sense of relief. He may have messed up but at least he managed to get Chrysalis out of his world and away from his friends and family. In the long run, he didn't really care what happened to him just as long as those he loved were safe.
With so many conflicting emotions still fighting to obtain dominance of Jon's psyche he lost control of his legs and fell to his knees. He didn't even bother to see if Chrysalis was watching him. He just smiled, laughed at himself, and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out his cellphone and thought about what he would say once he actually called Celestia.
"Hey Celestia, how's it going?" Jon joked out loud as he dialed his phone. “Listen I know you're taking a breather but could you come and help me? Queen Chrysalis is right behind me and I think she's going to kill me sooo if you could swing by I'd owe ya big time."
Jon was moments away from pressing dial when he heard someone from just over his shoulder. At first he assumed it was Chrysalis walking up to him with malicious intentions but when he stopped and listened he could still clearly hear her far off in the background moaning in pain. The second sound was that of someone gasping for breath.
Was there someone else with him after all?
This made Jon curious. Curious enough to briefly look behind him to see what it was. When he did so that same sense of relief that at first seemed so inviting and ever present shattered into pieces. He now realized that he was not alone with Chrysalis there was also someone else with him. Or rather somepony else.
"Trixie!" Jon yelled. Dropping his phone on the ground Jon jumped to his feet and sprinted across the room where Trixie was lying on the ground gasping for breath like a fish out of water. Collapsing to his knees, he picked her up and held her head gently with his hand the way he would a newborn baby. "Oh my god, Trixie are you okay!?"
Although she was conscious, she looked like she could black out at any moment, since the amount of magic needed to get them all here turned out to be more than she could handle. She could hardly breathe let alone speak so her interaction with Jon was limited to her looking at him with her tired eyes.
"Jesus Christ, what are you even doing here!?" He asked. Were she in any position to be able to talk, she might've countered by asking Jon the same thing since the original plan was to only teleport Chrysalis. In response, the frail Unicorn raised her hoof as delicately as she could. Following her extended leg Jon now saw what she was pointing at. Chrysalis was now upright and fully conscious
"What...what happened?" She said. Shaking her head she looked across the room and saw a terrified looking Jon Stewart cradling a pony she had never seen before. Her confusion only deepened when she saw that she was no longer in on the set of The Daily Show. "Wh...wh-where am I!?"
At first she hadn't the faintest idea of where she was so she looked in all directions, her movements random and frenzied. Slowly she began to realize exactly where she was; she just didn't want to accept it.
This wasn't the first time she'd been in the royal throne room herself. The last time she was here was when she tried to take over Canterlot, and it was here that she, for a brief moment, had actually succeeded. Back then she was arguably the strongest creature in Equestria, and was the closest she had ever been to being in full control of this world. But now circumstances couldn't be more different.
Back home her influence over her own people was starting to waver and at her present state she was only a few tiers stronger than an average pony. The thought that she was here now in her current status made her terrified.
"What the hell am I doing in Canterlot Castle!" He blurted with a panicked lack of awareness for Jon and Trixie. "I shouldn't be here yet! It's way too early! I...I, I, I need to get out of here!"
Ignoring the fact that she would've left without Jon at her side, Chrysalis threw her horn skyward and immediately began to conjure a large amount of magic at the tip of her horn. Jon found it disheartening that in her weakened state she managed to do in three seconds what took Trixie did in almost thirty minutes. That and at any moment, it looked like she would just send herself back, rendering everything they had done moot.
"NO!" Jon yelled as he threw his hand outward like he wanted to physically grab her. Before he could get up Chrysalis vanished but just as quickly reappeared, so suddenly one would miss it if they blinked. Her spell managed to work but without the proper amount of power needed to travel between worlds to go along with it all she managed to do was desynchronize from Equestria for about one-tenth of a second.
She was clearly in no condition to make a leap this great, not that she'd ever admit that.
"No...no, no, no, no this can't be happening to me!" She said as she tried again to teleport back to New York. Like before she managed to build up a considerable amount of magic in her horn, only this time when she tried to use it, it literally blew up in her face. "NO! I...I can do this!"
Again, she charged her horn, and again, it blew up and when that failed, she tried again, yielding the exact same results. She tried several more times and nothing changed each time she illuminated the entire room with what was like lighting fireworks at regular intervals. She was so determined to make this work she didn't even notice that trial after trial it was taking her longer and longer to gather the magic needed to precede. Every attempt she would gather less magic than the last only to have the spell reject it and discharging it back in her face, wasting another chunk of her magic in the process.
Evidence suggested that she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, but Jon still watched with a worried expression on his face while carefully holding Trixie's head against his chest. He was still worried of a possible scenario where she managed to pull it off but she never did. Jon started to notice that it was getting increasingly harder for her to manage all the magic.
Eventually she stopped her fruitless attempts of escape whereupon she dropped to her knees and lowered her head.
"I...can't...do...it." She said in between gasps of breath. "I’m...not...strong enough."
She lowered her head in shame and in doing so covered her body with her hair as if she didn't want to be seen. Jon was too far away to notice but she had already begun to change. With any attempt to leave now impossible, Chrysalis' mind began to think more logically. She had so many questions with the most obvious one being how she got here. Since Jon was with her, however, she came to one conclusion.
"This....t-this..." She said in a weak tone. Her body was trembling and the way her shoulders moved up and down gave the impression that she was breathing heavily. "...THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! "
She threw her head up so quickly she flung her long hair all the way behind her revealing that she had already reverted back to her original form. Her power was so depleted that she had subconsciously lost control of her ability to maintain her Lyra form.
"YOU...y-you tricked me! I don't know how you managed to do it but I know this is your doing!" She roared as she slowly fumbled towards Jon. Her face looked as if she was trying to stab him with her gaze and she was grinding her teeth so hard Jon could hear it from his side of the room. "I underestimated you human; never did I predict that you could even come close to stopping me...and yet, here we are! So, what's your big plan now, huh!? What are you going to do now that we're here!?"
Of course Jon did have a plan, but it involved him not being anywhere near Canterlot and calling Princess Celestia for help. A plan which he had completely forgotten at the time but was soon reminded of by the sound of his phone crying out to him.
Both he and Chrysalis' attention were now torn by the sound of Jon's phone which he had dropped back at his original landing point. They both realized just by the sound it was making, "Her Majesty" by The Beatles, that the person trying to make contact was Celestia. No doubt she was calling because she wanted to see if Jon was alright since she always watched his show live.
Almost simultaneously, the two enemies looked at each other then back at the phone, their eyes a mixture of surprise and a sense of urgency. Realizing that Celestia still had no idea where they had went or if they needed assistance, Jon carefully, but quickly, placed Trixie back on the ground and with all of his strength ran to his phone.
When he was close enough to where he could bend over and grab it he opted instead to dive at it as quickly as he could like a baseball player diving for home base. His fingers just barely wrapped around it before it flew out of his hand and across the room, like it was on the end of a rubber band. Jon watched the phone zip forward eventually stopping in midair. It was now hovering in place in front of Chrysalis, her angry eyes carefully scanning the screen.
Once she determined for certain who was calling she took a deep breath and quickly answered it by sliding her hoof across the screen.
"Hello Celestia." She said in her most accurate Jon Stewart voice. "How can I help you?"
"Celestia no!" Jon yelled and he ran forward. "That's not--"
Before Jon even knew what had happened he went back to being silent, not of his own free will, but because there was something obstructing his mouth. Like a gunslinger with a deadly aim Chrysalis had shot out a tiny burst of magic towards Jon whereupon it solidified itself into a corporeal mass of green sludge over his mouth.
It felt as if someone had wadded up dozens of chewing gum and wrapped it over his face. When he tried to tear it off Chrysalis just activated it with her horn and it wouldn't move like a parasite refusing to give up its only source of nourishment.
When he looked back up at Chrysalis, he saw that she was now multitasking by using her horn to hold the phone to her ear and pointing at Jon with an extended hoof as if to say "gimme a minute; I'm on the phone." Jon thought about physically walking up and taking the phone away but the way she was glaring at him had petrified him to the point where he dared not move. He just watched as Chrysalis continued her phone call under the guise of himself.
"Sorry about that Celestia, that was no one." She said, still imitating Jon. "Now what was it that you wanted to talk about?"
Jon tried to yell out to Celestia again but for all his struggling all he could manage was just a few muffled words that even he could barely hear.
"What? Oh no, no, no. I'm alright, but thanks for asking." Chrysalis said. "Yeah, we just had some...some technical difficulties, but everything is...say again...really...oh really...well…could you tell me exactly what you saw?"
This one sided conversation between herself and Celestia was driving Jon crazy. He didn't know what the princess was saying but whatever it was it couldn't be good for Chrysalis to know. Trying again Jon attempted to rip the green gunk off his face but again she used her magic to keep it in place.
"Really...I see...no I assure what you saw was all just a part of the show...there's no need to get involved." Chrysalis continued. "After we're done getting everything back together my interview with Lyra will continue as …wait, excuse me?"
As she slowly lowered her hoof Chrysalis’ expression changed from anger to that of something closely resembling disappointment. Whatever Celestia was telling her it was powerful enough for her to momentarily lower her guard. This gave Jon enough time to slowly tear the green gunk of his face portion by portion.
"What...what do you mean? Are...are you certain...wait, who?" She asked Celestia in a confused voice that lingered on the furious. "I uh...no I don't remember, could you please give me a quick description...I see...I see...thank you for telling me."
Although Chrysalis was giving thanks and acting polite she had look about her like she was ready to bite someone's head clean off.
"No I'm fine I assure you...where am I?" She asked. Looking over at Jon she saw him tearing off her goo at a now faster pace. She didn't care though since she didn't plan on talking very much longer, but before answering she paused to stare at both him and Trixie and gave a smile that showed off her razor sharp teeth. "I'm at Ponyville right now...inside the Everfree Forest to be exact...why yes I would love for you to help me...if you could come by that would be great...Okay thanks. Listen I'd love to talk some more but there's a problem here I need to take care of. Okay, bye bye."
She hanged up the phone at the same time that Jon got the last piece of magic enveloping gunk off his face. He gasped for breath and watched as Chrysalis slammed his phone on the ground and proceeded to smash it into dozens of pieces with her hoof.
"A hidden teleportation spell...very clever." She said with an angry tone which was made all the more terrifying by her large evil smile and nervous laughter. "Ruined; you've ruined everything...this was finally my chance to get back on top and you've...completely....ruined it." She began to slowly tilt her head to side all the while still giggling to herself.
Jon's worst fear was now being realized, for now she was looking dead straight at Trixie. Within an instant her smile vanished and her horn began to glow.
"AND YOU!" She roared as she lifted Trixie high up in the air by her neck. "You're the one who brought me here aren't you!?"
Trixie didn't answer but she showed signs of life by desperately gasping for breath and violently swinging her hooves back and forth. Chrysalis was not only levitating her but she was doing so while choking her by the neck which was very evident by her face starting to change color from the lack of oxygen.
"What's your take from all this huh? Fame, fortune, or did you just want what was rightfully mine!?" She asked as she purposely made it impossible for her to answer by increasing the pressure. "You worthless, pathetic, little nopony!...I'm going to tear off your horn and shove it down your--"
Suddenly and without warning, Chrysalis was interrupted by a large force colliding with her face. It was so strong it sent her hurdling towards the ground, and since whatever it was got her right in the eye she didn't see who it was or where it came from after the fact.
With her being momentarily incapacitated, her magical grip was released and Trixie fell back down, but before she could collide with the hard ground, she got caught by the person who had just moments ago laid out the Changeling Queen.
"I got ya, Trixie!" Jon said, after catching her at the last minute. Walking off to the side he placed her on the ground as gently as possible and brushed her long hair away from her face. "There, there, It's going to be okay, I'm here."
With Trixie now out of harms way Jon peaked over and Chrysalis who was still on the ground.
"Now...stay here I need to take care of business." He added.
Having been fueled by his desire to help his friend Jon had dashed across the room in a speed that was uncanny for his age. Chrysalis didn't see him coming mostly due to her being distracted by her strangling of Trixie, but even if she was fully aware of her surroundings, she might not have been able to counter in time. Getting up now, she could just barely see the image of a figure walking towards her; it was Jon. He looked furious and he was rubbing the same hand he used to punch her in the face.
"You!" She said as she struggled to get up. "I'm going to--"
Again she was cut off by Jon slamming his closed fist into her face with a roar. At 5'6 and 156 pounds, Jon wasn't the tallest human in the world, in fact most people he met we're bigger than him. But here in Equestria he towered over most ponies. Even those as big as Celestia and Chrysalis were a few inches shorter than he was (though on their hind legs not so much) which meant that when he threw a punch, it hurt.
This time, when he punched her, he did so with such great force that her head bounced off the floor, blurring her vision and causing her to become delirious again. Although she had trouble seeing, she knew he was now standing over her body based on the fact that she could hear him yelling at her.
"THAT'S FOR ATTACKING MY ASSISTANT! " He yelled as loudly as could. With heavy breathes he looked down at her and could see his own reflection in the floor, he hardly recognized the angry face staring back at him but at this point he really didn't care. Bending over, he grabbed her by her jagged horn and hoisted her back up to a sitting position. Throwing his whole body into it, he leaned forward and punched her in the face for the third time. "THAT'S FOR INSULTING MY WIFE! "
His third punch was so devastating it caused Chrysalis to roll a couple feet away and onto her stomach. With enough space between them for a running start Jon waited for her to slowly get up whereupon he bolted at her and kicked her at hard as he could in the throat, which caused her to fly backwards and land on her back.
"THAT'S FOR THREATENING TO HURT MY KIDS! " He roared, staying back to catch his breath. It looked as if Chrysalis was unconscious since she was now motionless and silent. Jon took this moment to admire his handy work before looking over at Trixie who was still on the floor and in pain.
Seeing this only made Jon more angry so he promptly walked up the unconscious Queen and while standing over her grabbed her by her neck and lifted her up as high as he could. Which, due to her dead weight, was only about shoulder high. He paused for a second to look at her bruised face which slumped over his hand to the side. She looked dead but Jon could feel a pulse.
"And this." He said as he cocked his fist back and took a deep breath. "THIS FOR TRI-- "
His hand froze mid swing and was now hovering a couple of inches away from her face. Jon knew what this one, this sensation was one that he remembered all too well. He was now completely paralyzed. He didn't even have the movement necessary to look surprised when Chrysalis' eyes shot open, her gaze directly solely at him. She was playing possum and Jon fell for it.
Trying as best he could Jon attempted to break free from her spell and launch his fist forward. And to his credit Chrysalis was weak enough that he managed to inch forward a little bit. But doing so caused him to use up what little energy he had left. The only part of him that moved was his hand to release her, though this was not done of his own free will.
"How dare you." Chrysalis said. "How dare you lay your filthy human hands on a Queen!?"
With her horn now glowing she tried to lift Jon in the air as she did with Trixie but since he was considerably heavier he only managed to lift him a few feet skywards. What she could do quite easily was use her magic so stretch his arms and legs in all directions as if he was about to attempt to do a snow angel. She used her powers to yank on his arms and legs like a kid tearing the legs off a spider.
It felt to Jon as if his appendages would pop out of their sockets at any moment. The pain was so excruciating but he didn't make a sound since she was also using her magic to choke him.
"You've destroyed everything I've worked for" She said. "...So now I'll destroy YOU !"
Using her hind legs to jump slightly in the air, she swung her head up then down which made Jon's entire being slam into the ground. He barely had time to let out a cry of pain before being lifted back up in the air. To show that she was not done, Chrysalis tilted her head to the side which caused Jon's body to contort slightly. Now it felt as if his joints were being bent in their opposite directions and whenever he put up the slightest resistance she just increased the pressure.
"How does it feel, human?" She asked, "How does it feel to know that you are powerless against me!"
Just as it would seem that he would snap in half the evil queen once again slammed Jon as hard as she could back on the ground, this time doing so where he would land on his knees instead of his stomach. Because of her magic Jon couldn't talk to even give the slightest expression of pain. All he could do was give out muffled groans of agony.
He was now sitting up on his knees at the hoofs of Chrysalis. She used her magic to make it so he was looking up as if he was about to pray to her.
"Beg! I want to hear you beg for your life!" She demanded as she loosened the grip on his throat. "If you do so perhaps I'll go easy on you and give you a quick and painless death!" Jon now had a plan. Like before, he thought if he stalled for time, someone would come and save him. It was risky but he was all out of options.
A few seconds after Jon was granted permission to speak he began to laugh. At first it was a stifled giggle but soon it elevated to a full on explosion of laughter. Chrysalis didn't know what to make of it. At first she assumed he had gone mad but her theory was put to rest once he began to speak.
"You seem to upset about something." Jon said in a sarcastic tone. Some might have called his actions 'tempting fate,' but he found the fact that she was tricked like this to be endlessly amusing in hindsight. "Am I to assume this means you wouldn't be willing to do a follow up interview?"
His willingness to crack jokes at her expense, even while his own life was in jeopardy, both confused and infuriated Chrysalis. At that moment there was a great many things she could have done to him ranging from more magic torture to blatant bodily harm, but since she was blinded by a mask of pure anger, she fell back on her more animalistic instincts.
In a quick motion she turned around and readied her hind legs in a kicking position. Jon had experienced being kicked by ponies a couple of times now so he wasn't at all concerned about her decision, which only made the resulting pain all the more unbearable.
After cocking her legs back Chrysalis slammed her hooves into Jon's chest region as hard as she could. When she made contact with his chest, a spark of magic went off between them like a power line blowing out. The resulting force sent Jon rocketing all the way across the room at a speed so fast Jon's eyes couldn't keep up.
Fortune had decided to give him a break, however, since instead of slamming on a wall or going through a window, he ended up just awkwardly landing on Celestia’s royal throne. He wasn't without injuries however. He suddenly found it even more difficult to breathe now than when he was being choked and the kick had resulted in a few broken ribs and an almost shattered sternum.
When he tried to get up, the overwhelming pain forced him to sit back down.
"Well." Jon said through bouts of pain. "At least this chair is comfy."
His wise cracking did very little to endear himself to Chrysalis who had already walked over to the base of the stairs that led up to where Jon was grounded.
"I'm going to give you one last chance to redeem yourself. If you agree to take me back to your world...I'll spare your life." Chrysalis said as she paced back and forth. "If you think this is the end of my invasion then you are very much wrong...I’ll just find another way back to your world and continue my plan with or without without you."
Rather than being concerned, Jon found her deal to be just as laughable since he knew her threats were hollow and devoid of any truth. She was stuck here just as much as he was for the time being and he knew it. Jon paused at first, which lead Chrysalis to believe that he was actually considering her offer, but in actuality he was just working up the strength to lift his arm in the air.
"Fuck you. And fuck your offer." Jon said as he waved an obscene gesture with his finger at her. She didn't understand was he was doing with his hand, but she could tell from inference that it was supposed to be insulting in nature.
She was sure that he would buckle under by now but her attempts to salvage her plan, by reasoning with Jon ,was met only with continued uncooperativeness and more blasphemous behavior. Both being things she never tolerated in her kingdom
"Foolish human!" She scowled as she pointed her horn directly at him. "This is your last chance! Obey me or die...what do you say?"
"I say...." Jon said with a pause as he rubbed his aching chest. "The real Lyra hits harder than you do."
For Chrysalis that was it, she had now reached her tipping point. She no longer wished to try and arrange a deal with Jon nor did she wish to consort with him any longer than she needed to. A small part of her now realized that her plan had failed…now all she wanted now was to get rid of Jon.
"...Why...you...filthy...HUMAN !" She roared as the top of her horn began to glow with ominous power. At the time the throne room wasn't properly lit since no one was scheduled to occupy it but it was now illuminated so brightly Jon had to shield his eyes. In her rage Chrysalis had managed to amass a large chunk of magic on the on the tip of her horn much like how she did back at the studio. Jon recognized it as the same type of magic that she almost used on Stephen, only this time it was now aimed at him.
"You will rue the day you ever tried to stop me!" She yelled. Her magic was so bright and wide in diameter that Jon had a hard time seeing her. Any remnants of Jon's joking facade had now washed away and been replaced by a sense of fear. He'd never seen so much magic accumulate in one spot like this and he feared what it might do.
He desperately tried to get up from his chair even though he had no idea of where he'd go from there. When he tried, he found he couldn't move at all. Not because Chrysalis was using her magic to subdue him but because his many injuries prevented him from moving without feeling a great surge of pain.
"Die!" She yelled. The force of her firing her attack was enough to recoil her head back and send her sliding backwards a few feet. The beam of energy moved at much slower pace than Jon expected which gave him just enough time to turn his head and throw his arms over himself.
But all of his attempts to lessen the inevitable were in vain. The blast of energy eventually made contact in an enormous display of light and heat, doing untold amounts of damage, both externally and, most dangerous of all, internally resulting in a near death state of being. It's just that none of it was dealt to Jon himself.
Since he had turned away Jon didn't see what happened but he did hear the sound of something falling on the ground with an audible thud. Curious by the fact that he was still alive Jon looked up to see Chrysalis looking straight ahead instead of at him with a face that suggested that she had missed. Of course she didn’t though.
Jon followed her gaze downwards to see what she was staring at and immediately found himself beyond horrified. He held his breath and he began to feel cold, he wasn't dead but he felt as if he was. His almost shattered skeleton, aching joints and torn tendons were nothing compared to the pain he now felt in his heart which felt like someone had yanked out through his chest.
He almost didn't recognize the figure lying halfway down the stairs because it's body was now black and smoldering from the attack. But once his eyes adjusted he recognized the person all too well.
"TRIXIE!" Jon yelled. His greatest fear had come true. "NO!"
Much to his and Chrysalis' dismay, Trixie had intercepted the attack by using the last drop of magic she had left to teleport herself in front of it, taking its full force. The attacks harmful effects were so powerful because she was closer that she didn't even get a chance to cry out in pain.
She wasn't moving and, although he was far away, he could tell that she wasn’t breathing either. This caused Jon to jump up from his seat and run forward only to tumble down when his knees gave out.
He was still roughly on the top of the stairs but now more than ever he could see Trixie and how bad of shape he was in. He tried to get back up to help her but within the blink of an eye her body flew away and was now in front of Chrysalis, her limbs lifeless and dangling like a broken marionette.
"Pathetic excuse for a Unicorn!" Chrysalis yelled. "STOP! GETTING! IN! MY! WAY!" She punctuated each word by slamming Trixie's now unconscious body violently against the ground. After she was done she tossed Trixie over her shoulder where she landed against a pillar with a sickening crack and landed back on the floor.
When she turned to face Jon again she was shocked to find that he had, within a few seconds: gotten up, ran down stairs, and was a few feet away running at her seemingly unabated with a crazed look in his eye.
"I'LL KILL YOU! " He roared and he swung his fist at her. Unfortunately for him, Chrysalis' prior knowledge to his fighting tactic coupled with his own sluggishness meant that she ducked his attack with ease. Seeing an opening of her own, she lunged forward and skewered Jon with her long horn.
She didn't know much about human anatomy so, when she gored him, she hoped she had gotten some kind of major organ but thankfully all she did was stab him on the side, mainly puncturing pure fat. However, due to her horn being awkwardly shaped, getting it out of Jon was much harder than getting it in. She yanked it out bringing with it a few small chunks of flesh.
The pain was so acute that Jon yelled in pain and fell backwards on his back. He groaned in pain while holding his wound which was now producing a small pool of blood all around him. Just when he thought the pain was starting to subside a bit, it escalated ten folds when Chrysalis stomped her hoof deep in his wound.
Jon screamed in pain as Chrysalis stood over his body with her front legs on each shoulder. Jon grabbed her in an attempt to throw her off, but she just slammed him back down by placing a free hoof over his bruised chest and pushing forward. To make sure he didn't try again, she dug her back hoof deeper into his open bloody opening.
Jon got the message; he wasn't going anywhere.
"Why won't you people just die!?" She yelled at him.
The pain he felt from being held down had caused Jon to shut his eyes, but when he opened them again, he saw the same deadly horn of hers now a few inches away from his face.
"You are not going to going to prevent me from realizing my destiny!" She continued. "Princess Celestia couldn't stop me, the Elements of Harmony couldn't stop me, and dammit, I will NOT be stopped by a filthy human!"
For the third and final time that day, Chrysalis began to charge her horn for a concentrated burst of energy. In response to this Jon struggled to get way, but when he did, she just shifted her weight on his chest and wound, causing him to stay put. Eventually she managed to accumulate a collection of magic at the tip of her horn again. And although it was much smaller than before, a well-executed shot from such a close range would be ideal for dealing massive amounts of damage.
"You’ve run out of miracles, human. I told you when we first met that, if you tried to interfere, you'd never see your family again." She said as she lowered her horn closer to his face, "And I meant it!"
Desperately, Jon tried to break free, but it was fast becoming apparent to him that he wasn't going to be able to maneuver his way out of this one. Eventually his stopped his pointless struggling and laid his head back; he had finally given up. While Chrysalis was charging her attack, Jon did the only thing he felt made sense at the time. He began to laugh.
"Man this day sucks...but at least my family is safe." He said to himself as he turned to face Trixie's lifeless body. "My only regret is that I couldn't protect you like I should have...and for that...I am sorry."
As if his body accepted that he was going to die, Jon began to slowly lose consciousness. Maybe it was from the overwhelming pain or his brain was shutting down to avoid seeing his own death happen, but either way he was slowly drifting away as his brain released endorphins.
The last thing Jon remembered seeing was the great ball of magic nearing its completion in front of his face. His eyes closed and, after a few seconds, had passed the sound of magic exploding on soft flesh followed by a scream of pain echoed throughout the room.
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
The throne room of Canterlot Castle had been empty for awhile, since the Celestia wasn't occupying it, which meant that no one had any idea that Jon Stewart needed assistance. Only the princess and her royal guards were allowed in there and, since Chrysalis tricked Celestia into going all the way down to Ponyville, no one had any business being there.
As well at not being fully lit, the throne room was eerily quiet, so when the burst of magic found its target, the sound of it exploding was carried to every corner of the room. Afterwards, it was immediately followed by the sound of a loud cry of pain that seemed to echo throughout the entire Castle...it was loud enough to wake our hero back up.
Jon's eyes opened as the sound of screaming invaded his ears, kick starting his brain once again. And, as if that wasn't enough to get him to regain consciousness, the sensation of something very heavy falling on top of him cemented it.
In a frenzy, Jon tried to assess the situation, firstly by seeing if he was dead or not. To his relief he was indeed alive and, aside from his previous injuries, he seemed to be alright. What he couldn't understand was, why the person who was trying to kill him was now laying on top of him.
Just like before, Chrysalis was keeping Jon from getting up only, instead of physically holding him down, she had now collapsed directly on top of him. Her dead weight body, which twitched in grotesque spasms like she had been electrocuted, was keeping him from moving. And her face was now lying on his chest and seemed to be frozen in an expression of concentrated pain.
"What the hell?" Jon said to himself as he tried to figure out what had happened. His only clue at the moment was that there seemed to be smoke emanating from somewhere.
Using whatever strength he had left he tried to sit up but he couldn't get up very far. However, from his new angle he could now see something he couldn't before and that was Chrysalis' back. It was difficult to notice since her entire body was black but Jon was certain that the source of the smoke he had previously seen was coming from her upper back. It was now completely burnt like someone had tried to set fire to it.
"What happened?" Jon thought pensively to himself as he tried to look past the thick smoke. Slowly but surely the smoke began to dissipate and as it did he began to see the silhouette of a figure on the opposite side of the room near the door. At first the smoke was too dense to see through, but eventually he could make out some key features like the fact that it was a pony. A pony which was very large, had a crown, and most prominently of all had wings and a horn.
"Ce...Celestia!?" He said with a hopeful look about him.
Having believed that he would die at the hands of his enemy, seeing Celestia right here right now made Jon genuinely smile and his spirits soar as high as any Pegasus had ever flown. It all made sense to him now. Celestia must have seen through Chrysalis' deception and came back to save him. He was both physically and emotionally drained but the sight of his potential savior gave him a surge of new hope.
"Oh god yes!" Jon thought. "We're saved!" The cloud of smoke that hung over Chrysalis' body eventually disappeared and as it did it took away whatever sense of assurance Jon had with it. The once optimistic Jon was now left uncertain of what he should feel. The same hopefulness he once had was now drained and replaced with sense of dread
The wall of smoke was now gone and Jon could see who had attacked Chrysalis. It wasn't Celestia.
"VILE DEMON! HOW DARE YOU SOIL OUR SACRED GROUNDS WITH YOUR PRESENCE!" The creature yelled. "SURRENDER NOW OR FACE OUR WRATH!"
Jon remembered thinking at the time of his awakening that the sound of Queen Chrysalis crying out in pain was the loudest thing he had ever heard in his life. By comparison to this new beast, it was barely a whisper. Whoever this new pony was, she sure had a set of lungs on her. He had heard Jet planes make less noise than her. She was clear across the room, but her shouting was so audible it felt as if she were standing right next to him. Needles to say it made his ears ring in pain.
She was so loud that Jon wasn't the only one that could hear her. Still momentary crippled by the well-executed shot, Chryalis managed to turn her head to see who had attacked her. The second she laid her eyes on the pony who did it, she looked like she'd seen a ghost. She knew who this challenger was and, as a result, feared for her life.
Jon, on the other hand, still did not know who she was or if he should be concerned. She wasn't Celestia, but she sure looked a hell of a lot like her. She was bigger than the average pony (though smaller than Celestia), she had wings and a horn as well as matching slippers and crown. The only major part where they varied was the color of her body and mane.
Unlike Celestia, this pony had dark mane and an even darker coat of fur. Her body was a dark sapphire blue and her hair and tail were semitransparent and twinkled like the night sky. Jon couldn't see from where she was, but her cutie mark was a crescent moon which was also the symbol on the large neck piece she wore.
Jon could not tell whether she was one of the good guys or another enemy to be feared, but there was one thing that he was certain of...she was angry.
The creatures face said it all. Her eyes were glowing a bright white which was only matched by her teeth as she snarled in their direction. Her stance also implied that she was ready to attack if need be. Which, by all accounts, she was willing and able to do again.
"WE WILL ONLY WARN YOU ONE LAST TIME, SHAPE SHIFTER!" She roared. "RELINQUISH THE HUMAN AND SURRENDER AND PERHAPS WE’LL GO EASY ON YOU!"
The fact that she asked for her to hand over Jon was a good sign that she had his best interest in mind. But, on the other hand, her demands were met with more hesitation from Chrysalis. She swung her head back and forth, alternating between looking at the fearsome pony and the injured Jon Stewart as if trying to decide whether to risk finishing what she had started.
Her expression was a combination of fear, and contempt for both Jon and her attacker. She was on the verge of getting revenge only to be thwarted last minute which seemed to a running theme in her life up to this point. She began to take long breaths while trying to get up, only to collapse back down halfway through. Never in her life had she felt as weak and defeated as she did now and, in her eyes, it was all Jon's fault.
She looked at him with an angry look of her own as if to say "you did this to me" and Jon himself responded with a smile as if to say "I know." This in turn made Chrysalis attempt to rise to her feet while slowly lowering her head to once again point her horn at his face.
After it was clear that she had no intention of giving herself up, the angry Alicorn extended her wings and threw her head upwards.
"Very well then. It would seem thou has come to a decision...and so have we." She said. In one fell swoop the creature flew into the air as if she planned on breaking through the roof before stopping halfway. "FACE THE POWER OF THE NIGHT!!!"
The room trembled as magical forces began to work their way through the now floating beast. The windows remained closed, but it felt as if a whirlwind was now taking place in the center of the room. From behind the Alicorn, a darkness began to envelope the walls making it seem like the space behind her was the night sky. The chandeliers that hung from the ceiling swung to one direction like they were being sucked in, and the golden trinkets which were on display fell to the ground.
Both Jon and Chrysalis felt as if they were being sucked in like livestock to a tornado. Things only got more terrifying when a surge of energy began to appear in front of the floating Alicorn. It was small at first but within the blink of an eye it transformed into a large spherical mass of power, priming and pulsating with magic.
It was about fifteen feet in diameter, getting bigger and continuing to draw all manner of objects into itself while the darkness continued to eat up the room. Jon felt cold. Not because he was scared, but because it felt as if the temperature in the room had dropped to below zero, a side effect of the magic that was at work no doubt.
As impressive as the demonstration of her raw power was, it left the two huddled individuals on the floor cowering in fear with Chrysalis being frightened the most since she knew this was directed at her. As much as she wanted to deal with Jon, her petty revenge would have to wait if she ever wanted to live to see another day. She began to frantically look around the room for anything, anything that could help her and to her surprise she found the perfect equalizer. Slowly she lifted herself up from atop of Jon, which greatly helped him breathe easy, and began to slowly turn to the side as if she was planning to leave.
"DO NOT THINK THOU CAN ESCAPE!" She roared. "THERE IS NO WAY OUT! THIS IS WHERE YOUR REIGN OF EVIL COMES TO AN--"Using the last fragment of power she had left, Chrysalis levitated Trixie's motionless body towards her and, with all her might, hurled it at the dark blue Alicorn.
Because she was channeling a large amount of energy, her side of the room was a veritable oasis of harmful power. Wishing to not harm Trixie, the creature ceased her spell and caught her before she tumbled down to the ground or got hurt by the magic. The room reverted back to its normal state as she cradled Trixie's lifeless body in her hooves.
"Chrysalis!" She said as she looked up from Trixie to her prey. "Of all the despicable things you have done, this is--"
Before she could finish her thought the powerful Alicorn looked up just in time to see Chrysalis run across the room and towards one of the stained glass windows. But instead of stopping the Queen hurled herself though the colorful piece of art as if she had been fired out of a cannon.
The sound of glass shattering was tangled with the sound of dozens of doves flying away; each of whom was terrified at the Queens sudden appearance. Jon himself had watched her desperate escape the entire time but even he lost track of her when he leapt outside. During the cluttered mess of fallen feathers and broken glass, she had transformed herself to look like one of the many birds that were now flying in all directions. Completely indistinguishable from the others.
“No..." The Alicorn said. "....YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE US AGAIN!"
With blind fury, the powerful creature flew to the side of the room, placed Trixie on the ground, and ran to the window where Chrysalis had left. Jon watched as the creatures flexed her wings and arched it's back like it was about to shoot off like a rocket.
"W-w-wait! Don't go!" Jon yelled, but it was too late. Within an instant the Alicorn dashed forward a good 30 feet whereupon it made a quick turn and flew skywards. "NO! Come back! What about Trixie!?"
Jon's pleading was met with a moment of silence followed by what sounded like a military alarm going off in the distance. He took small comfort in knowing that steps were being taken to capture Chrysalis because, for him, the most important thing at present was getting Trixie some medical attention.
"Help!" Jon screamed. "Somebody help me!" But no one came. He tried again but still nothing happened so he decided to take matters into his own hands.
At first he tried to get up but his legs would not cooperate. He almost stood completely but hisknees just gave out and he landed on his stomach. Looking over he could see Trixie leaning against the wall where the Alicorn had left her. She seemed so far away but Jon could clearly see that she was in horrible shape. She needed someone. She needed a friend.
Although his legs were almost of no use to him, Jon's arms were still as efficient as ever. And so, with all his strength, he began to drag himself commando style over to his friend leaving only a trail of blood in his wake.
"Trixie!" Jon yelled. "I'm...I'm coming Trixie!"
The more he crawled, the more he felt like he was about to pass out from exhaustion. This was because, at that point, he had lost too much blood from the open wound on the side of his stomach. In his state, he had no idea what he would even do if he ever made over to Trixie, all he wanted was to be by her side.
"Trixie." Jon said in a tone of voice that was getting weaker. "Don’t you die on me dammit!” Things began to go black and his vision was starting to get fuzzy but he still went on. He crawled inch by inch and, as he did, he bled more.
“Tr…Trixie.” He said. “Trixie I'm sorry!"
He called out to her in the hopes that perhaps she would do the same back. When heard nothing, he called again and again while his senses began to fade.
"Tr..Trix...Trixie!" He cried. "...Trixiiiiie!"
But soon, after multiple tries, he did hear something. It was a loud sound like someone bursting through a wall followed by a voice.
"Jon!?" A voice said. He looked up but it wasn't Trixie. "JON! By all that is...what happened to you!"
He now saw that, towards the back of the throne room, the doors to the hallway had swung open and a group of seven ponies had now entered the throne room. At the forefront of the pack was Celestia who was being accompanied by six smaller ponies each with a piece of jewelry around them. Two Unicorns, two Earth Ponies, and two Pegasi.
Jon even recognized a few of them as ponies he had on his show, but the other three were complete strangers. They each were now staring at him with shocked faces.
"Princess!" One of the ponies who Jon recognized as Twilight Sparkle said. "Are...are we too late!?"
"No, my faithful student, we are not." Celestia said as they galloped over to him. "Girls we need to make sure he's alright! Somepony get the Castle medic, we need to get him over to the--"
"NO! FORGET ME!" Jon yelled at them as he waved his hand dismissively. "Trixie...get Trixie first!" Using the same hand Jon pointed excessively over to the side of the room where Trixie was. One of the ponies in the group, a yellow Pegasus, saw her and shrieked as a result. She barely looked to be alive.
"Is that...Trixie?" A white unicorn with purple hair said.
"What the hay is she doing here?" Said the only flying pony who Jon remembered as Rainbow Dash. "I thought she--"
"NEVERMIND THAT!" Jon yelled as he slowly started to fade away. "Trixie...please...help...Tri...Trix..ie..." And with that Jon slumped over and his head fell to the ground. He could no longer keep himself going.
"JON!" Everyone in the room said as they scrambled to help.
Episode 14: Queen Chrysalis invades the Daily show!
Here it is your moment of zen
Beep, beep, beep.
This was the sound that got Jon to awake from his deep sleep; it stayed in constant rhythm and sounded mechanical in nature.
Beep, beep, beep.
After regaining consciousness, his eyes dilated and adjusted to a bright light that was hanging overhead. Even before he was able to see properly, he already knew where he was just by using his nose. It would seem that, even in faraway land in an entirely different world, it was easy to identify the smell of medical supplies.
Cotton balls, sanitizer, elastic gloves, fresh linens. Jon could tell that he was in a hospital, or at least in another similar institute, just by the scent of these alone. In addition, he also heard a conversation that was going on just a few feet away.
"...but will he be alright?" A tender voice, that Jon recognized, said. He shifted his head to the side to try and see who was talking, but a thin curtain separated him from the two subjects.
"Indeed your Majesty, he should be fine." Another voiced answered. She, obviously, being some kind of physician. "We had some complications at first, but it was nothing good ol' fashioned Unicorn magic couldn't fix. Still, he has been through a lot today, so I suggest he stay in a few more days for further analysis…just to be safe."
The person talking was right. Despite the entire ordeal Jon was now completely healed. Granted, he felt sore all over, but he now could move freely without resistance and it no longer felt as if his chest had caved in. To further test his new durability, Jon looked under the covers at where he had been stabbed by Chrysalis. Not only was the wound gone, but there was no longer any sign of it ever being there. Not even a scar.
Knowing that he was okay made Jon lean back in his bed. The room he currently occupied was somewhat cramped with only a few pictures on the wall and a TV in the corner of the ceiling as entertainment. The walls were light blue with black and white tiles on the floor. Jon would have gotten up but he was in no condition, or mood, to do anything else but continue eavesdropping on the conversation that was still going on from behind the curtain.
"And what of the other one?" The calm voiced asked.
"I won't lie to you princess...you're Unicorn friend isn't doing very well." The Doctor said. "It was touch and go for a second and I'm still not sure if she'll make it. We tried everything but she didn't respond to any of our best treatments...We are unsure if she'll ever get up...for now all we can do is make her as comfortable as possible."
"Very well then...but tell me...is Jon conscious?” Celestia asked. "I would like very much to speak with him."
"Last I checked he was still asleep and I would like to keep it that way." The doctor said in a stern voice. "Right now the best thing for him is to get plenty of rest...I'm afraid I must insist that you wait to talk to him at a later time."
"I understand." Celestia sighed. "Please let me know when he wakes up."
"Of course, princess. I'll make sure to bring you hourly reports on both of their statuses and alert you the second it's alright for him to be questioned." The doctor assured her. "Now, unless there's anything else you need, I must ask that we go now. I have other patients to attend to."
"I see...carry on then," Celestia responded. "If you need to get a hold of me I'll be in the town square."
The two left the room and turned off the lights on the way out. They could be heard talking down the hallway, but their voices were muffled by the sound of armor-clad guards following them. Unbeknownst to Jon she was on her way to address her people on the situation at hand and tell them that everyone was, for the most part, alright and that the state was safe from any forms of evil.
Jon would have called out to her before she left or even during her exchange with the other pony but he was too fixated on something the doctor said.
"Not sure if she'll make it."
This made Jon tremble in his bed while his stomach felt as if someone had reached in and turned it inside out. He also recalled her saying something along the lines of keeping her comfortable which was doctor speak for "She's going to die."
Again he heard the noise.
Beep, beep, beep.
This time he could hear exactly where it was coming from. He listened and could tell that it was coming from his right. With a heavy heart he slowly turned his sore body onto its back to face the ceiling. He didn't know what to expect but he knew it wasn't good. Slowly he turned his head to his right and when he did he immediately regretted it.
"Oh god." Jon said with disgust. He was now looking at a broken Trixie lying in a hospital bed. She was bandaged up to the point where it was almost impossible to recognize her were it not for her visible face. She was hooked up to at least three different machines, each of which were doing a specific action to keep her alive to a chorus of winding gears and beeping sounds.
She had tubes running up her nose and a plastic tube attached to her arms which hung to the side. She looked more artificial than an actual pony.
"Trixie...no." Jon groaned, his voice never getting too loud.
But she didn't answer back. Instead her machines did all the talking.
Beep, beep, beep.
"Trixie?" Jon called out again. "Can you hear me?" When she didn't answer again Jon tried to reach out to her but he was too far away. With all of his strength Jon hoisted himself up to sitting position and again tried to reach over. He walked his fingers over the nightstand that separated the two of them and got close, but he was still too far.
By accident, he knocked over the remote control to the television onto the floor. It landed face down and as a result turned the TV on. When he tried to bend over and pick it up, he got light headed and defeated, so he flung himself back on his bed as the humming of the medical machines and the now operational TV filled the air.
Whenever he tried to glance back in her direction, his body recoiled and he forced himself to look away. Jon hated to see her like this...especially since he blamed himself for her getting hurt.
"Trixie." Jon said as he held back waves of bile. "Trixie, this is all my fault...please forgive me."
It was now clear to him that she was in no position to say anything which made a guilt ridden Jon throw his head back onto his pillow. How he wished things could be different. He began to wonder what might have happened if he and Trixie never met...maybe she'd be safe right now or maybe Jon would be the one in her condition. Either way, he just wished that none of this had ever happened.
As his mind wandered, he began to think of more "What ifs" when, at that very moment, his train of thought was shattered by a familiar voice breaking the silence.
"...there is nothing the Great and Powerful Trixie cannot do."
As if there were spring loaded hinges in his body, Jon shot up back to a sitting position so fast he experienced another head rush.
"Trixie!?" He exclaimed. To his dismay, Trixie was still unresponsive, but unlike before, the room was no longer silent. She wasn't talking, but he could clearly hear her voice...and most perplexingly of all, his own as well. His eyes followed the source of the noise to the TV which he had unintentionally turned on.
It was set to Comedy Central, most likely at the behest of the previous patient in this room, and was in the middle of Jon's own show which had gone on without him. Something which he found understandable since the "show must go on" mentality was strong with his staff and crew. Though nothing could have prepared him for what on screen
"No, you can't."
"Yes I can! Why I could even do a better job of hosting this show than you."
"Oh, you think ya bettah than me!? You think you’re that good?"
"Oh please, Stewart, your so called comedy is no difficult feat. Anypony could do it; observe."
At first Jon couldn't understand how he could be on TV right now interviewing Trixie when both of them were here in this room. But then it all came back to him soon enough and he remembered how he came about meeting Trixie in the first place.
A few months ago, she had forced herself into Jon's home and demanded that he have her on his show as his next guest. Jon's detest for her at the time resulted in her being tricked into being interviewed off camera as a backup interview in case they ever needed to fall back on something as an emergency
Later when it was revealed that Trixie's coming to the human world was illegal, and that she couldn't get back home, Jon agreed to not show her segment to the public for fear that she might get in trouble with Celestia. And that was the beginning of Trixie living with him and his family. However, all that changed since it would seem that, in his absence, the Daily Show operators used the interview for its intended purpose.
With Jon unavailable and an entire rest of the show left, the Daily Show was now officially airing the interview between Jon Stewart and Trixie for the entire world to see.
Jon found little comfort in this so he once again threw himself back this time slamming his hands across his face. Hearing her voice, but not actually being able to communicate with her was frustrating so he made plans in his head to turn the TV off and maybe try and call Celestia to get up to speed.
His plans changed the moment a voice called out.
"How do I look?" A voice asked. Jon once again found himself startled. He was trying not to get too excited like before, so he shifted to his side and looked over at Trixie who was still lying down in her bed. He waited to see if his suspicions were true and, after a few seconds had passed, he got his conformation. "On the TV...how do I look?"
When her mouth moved, he almost jumped up from his bed, but his sore body begged him to stay put. Trying his best to relax, he took a deep breathe of relief. Just knowing that she was still alive made him feel like he could finally smile again.
"You look great." Jon answered with a weak smile and an even weaker tone of voice. "The guys in the back really did a good job on your hair." There was a pause before someone starting talking again.
"I'm guessing the princess knows about...well you know." She said.
"Yeah. I would imagine." He answered, "Though I don't think you'll get in any trouble at this point."
"What the Great and Pow....what I mean is my parents left me at an orphanage when I was but a mere filly. According to those who worked there I looked to be only a year old."
"I'm...so sorry to hear."
"It wasn't all bad. It was because of dear old mommy and daddy leaving me there that I discovered my special talent."
"Your special talent?"
"Yes, as you can see by my cutie mark Trixie was born to be a magician."
A special kind silence fell over the room at the two watched themselves talk to each other on Television while making small talk with each other. It was a surreal moment that Jon had no choice but to break.
"Trixie...why the hell are you here?" Jon said.
"What kind of question is that?" She asked. "I'm hurt...last I checked injured ponies go to the hospital."
"You know what I mean." He added. "Only Chrysalis was supposed to get teleported...you coming with her wasn't part of the plan."
"I know." She said.
"So then what are you doing here...in Equestria?" Jon reiterated.
"Hey, glass houses." She said with a laugh, “I could ask you the same thing.” Jon found little humor in any of this but nevertheless she had a point.
"I'm here because I was in range of the spell." He answered. "Stephen was in trouble and well...I was just trying to help a friend."
"What a coincidence." Trixie chimed. "That's exactly why I'm here too."
Looking over Jon could now see that she was smiling as if she knew something that he didn't.
"I don't...I don't understand." Jon said. Before explaining herself Trixie took a long deep breath like she was getting ready to dive underwater.
"Ok...remember the spell I said I could do?" She asked. "Well as it turns out, like always, I messed it up."
"W-what do you mean?" He said.
"Setting up the spell was easier than I thought. The hardest part proved to be actually stabilizing enough magic to get it to work." She explained. "I thought I had focused enough magic to get the job done but...but I was short something like…less than ten percent of what was needed."
"So what...what did you do?" Jon asked.
"What else could I do?" She retorted. "I didn't have enough time to try and stabilize more magic to I just fed the circle a constant stream of magic directly from my horn." Even with his only amateur understanding of magic, Jon knew what that meant.
"And since you were in direct contact with the spell." Jon surmised. "That means you--"
"That means when the spell activated, anypony in or touching the spell was affected by it...including me" She interrupted. "When the Great...and Powerful Trixie says she'll do a spell she means it."
"Trixie...for god sake!" Jon said. "You...I mean you could have...just look at you!"
"Oh this...I'm ok." She said in a forced, dismissive tone. Her voice weak like Jon's. "I've experienced worse when rough housing with your kids."
"Dammit Trixie, this is serious." Jon said. "You didn't have to...Trixie, that attack wasn't meant for you...it was meant for me...I should be the one over there not you."
The forced smile that she tried to maintain faded as things began to turn to a more serious tone.
"I know." She said.
"So why'd you do it?" Jon asked trying to not sound angry. "For the love of god you...Trixie, you could've been killed."
Against her best efforts Trixie began to cry. She hated crying ever since she was a little kid. When she lived at the orphanage, she learned to not show such emotions since it was largely pointless. With so many orphans and not enough workers, she had to just wait her turn for attention rather than crying for it.
It was during her earlier years that she learned to only rely on herself instead of others, but for Jon it was different. The attention she never received from her parents had long been something she craved for. As a performer, even the most sold out theater filled with ponies applauding her magical talents paled in comparison to the love and acceptance she received from Jon, which is why she was willing to risk anything, even her own life for him.
"...I...I just didn't want to see you get hurt." She finally answered as she struggled to hold back the tears that were already streaming down her face, "You would’ve done the same for me."
She was right and Jon knew she was. Jon waited for Trixie to stop crying before trying to talk to her again. Her wails of sadness were barely audible since the machines in the room were louder than she was and her voice was weak from having been through the worst ordeal of her life.
"Trixie." Jon said.
"Jon…I'm...I'm sorry if I was ever mean to you." She said.
"No Trixie, it's okay." Jon said as tears began to blur his vision. "It never bothered me."
"I just want you to know that in case I don't--" She said before getting cut off.
"Don't...don't talk like that!" Jon interrupted in a desperate tone, "It's fine, it's fine, you're going to be fine...afterwards when you're all healed up, I'm taking you back home and everything is going back to the way they were!"
At this point Jon would have said anything, regardless of conflicting factors to comfort Trixie. She hadn't moved a single inch of her body since she was in constant pain and could hardly breathe on her own, let alone move. Yet, for this next question, she slowly turned her head to face Jon and look at him eye to eye.
"Did we do it?" She asked. "Did we win?"
Looking away for just a moment Jon glanced back at the TV which was just finishing up the last minute of their interview.
"Listen we’re out of time but would you mind staying for about five minutes and we'll throw the rest up on the web?"
"You...you want me to stay...I mean the Great and Powerful Trixie could spare a minute or two. It would be a crime to deprive the masses of more Trixie."
"Thanks again for being here tonight. The Great and Powerful Trixie everyone! We'll be right back!"
"Yeah...we won, Trixie." He said as he leaned over his bed and tapped his closed fist against her open hoof. "We won."
