Ponyville Bouquet

by Cascadejackal

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Comedy, Other, Crossover
Length: 15436

Experimental technology, repairs made under fire and a less-than-focused mare hitting the big red button. What could go wrong? Join the cast of Wasteland Bouquet as they find themselves, quite literally, living in the past.

The Equestrian Wasteland is a harsh place, unforgiving and cruel. It breaks you down and tears you apart, and there's nothing you can do except hold as tightly as you can to the few good things in your life.

What if you were given a second chance? A life away from the violence, the pain and the fear? Could you even imagine such a thing?What kind of place could offer something like that?

A place where war is just a word in history books.
A place where the skies are as clear and pure as the hearts of ponykind.
A place where Friendship is Magic.

But... When a group of Wasteland Souls appear, will this world be able to deal with them? And will they be able to deal with a world that doesn't want them dead?

Join Caravan Lily, Whiskey Rose, Shot Glass and Ibis, as they embark on their greatest adventure yet: Living a normal life.

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A non-canon spin-off of Fallout Equestria - Wasteland Bouquet.
Read that first, to get the most enjoyement out of this little fic.
Cutie Marks on the cover by Sirhcx.

WARNING: Fic contains minor spoilers for Wasteland Bouquet.

Published 2013-01-18 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-15 02:27:54 UTC

Chapter 1: Red Buttons That Do Stuff

PONYVILLE BOUQUET

By Cascadejackal

--Foreword--

This is a non-canon spin-off of my other fic, FoE: Wasteland Bouquet, and I'm assuming most of my readers are at least passingly familiar with it and the characters there-in. If you haven't read it yet, please do. ^_^

If you read this first, be warned that there will be spoilers.

I hope you enjoy this little adventure and that our favorite group of caravaneers makes you laugh and smile. So, without further ado, on to the story!

---CHAPTER 1: RED BUTTONS THAT DO STUFF---

Steel hooves clanked and echoed throughout the abandoned facility, an army of robotic ponies freshly awoken from their two-hundred year slumber by long-dormant security systems and sent in pursuit of those who would intrude upon the buried past.

Said intruders were presently taking shelter in a large, circular room, firing through the only doorway in or out and trying to avoid the answering storm of magical energy that crackled and hissed past them, scorching the far wall, the mechanical horde a wall of unfeeling steel that filled the corridor, pressing ever closer.

The largest of the group, a grey griffin by the name of Ibis, stuck the barrel of his shotgun around the doorway and fired blindly, rewarded with the sound of breaking metal and a small explosion as the heavy weapon, loaded with slugs as always, did its job. "Shot, you doing okay?" He called out to a young, charcoal colored earth pony filly, who glanced over at him with a scowl.

"I hate robots!" She slammed a fresh clip into her hunting rifle and reared up onto her hind legs, leaning out to get a clear shot at their assailants and opening fire without hesitation. Though her weapon was longer than she was, the filly handled it with practiced ease, working the bolt with one hoof and bracing the barrel with the other. "They're stupid!" She bit down on the trigger, placing shots into the metal ponies with an accuracy and speed that would leave most marksponies green with envy, turning another death-dealing machine to scrap with every second or third shot. A small beep from the device on her foreleg made her duck back behind cover. "And SATS keeps running out!"

"At least you can hit things without it!" The griffin waved his claw at a cream unicorn mare who was cowering behind a bank of machinery several feet away, her horn glowing green as she levitated her revolver up and fired blindly down the hallway. A few small clanks could be heard, the weapon lacking the power to seriously damage the ponytrons. "Lily! Aim, for Celestia's sake!"

"Shut up!" The cream mare yelled, refusing to leave the protection offered by the ancient piece of unfathomable machinery. "It was your idea to come here in the first place, Ibis!"

The griffin fired a few more times before ejecting the drum magazine from his weapon. "Shot's Pipbuck said we should come here, not me!" The empty drum was replaced with a full one. "Ain't that right, Shot?" He leaned out and fired, taking the leg of a ponytron off at the joint before ducking to avoid getting his head burnt off by an answering burst of crimson magic.

The filly nodded and broke cover just long enough to put a few rounds into the crippled machine's head, rendering it nothing more than an obstacle to slow the unceasing advance of its brethren. "Yeah! And right now, it's telling me I'm nearly out of bullets!"

"I'm running low myself! Rose, you nearly done? We're getting hammered!" The griffin called out again, this time to a white unicorn mare who was bolting back and forth between terminals and banks of switches, ripping access panels off and diving into their innards as she attempted to get the relic of a machine working.

"Almost." Despite the situation, she sounded perfectly calm, only raising her voice enough to be heard over the staccato beat of gunfire and iron hooves. She popped her grease-covered face up to blink at her companions. "I've never repaired a prewar teleporter before, and the maintenance manual was kinda worn out, but I think it's almost ready." She ducked out of sight again, her voice muffled as she rewired, hotwired, and jury-rigged the system. "I just need a few more seconds."

"We may not have that long!" The griffin yelled out, punctuating his sentence with blasts from his shotgun. "They're gonna be in here soon!"

The white mare scrambled out of the machine and started flipping switches, a small, satisfied smile creeping across her face as lights came on and a low hum filled the room. She kept low as she made her way to the cream unicorn, poking her shoulder with a hoof. "Lily, I need you to listen, okay?"

The cream mare nodded, reloading her revolver and floating it up to fire blindly again. She was starting to freak out.

"When the green light over there comes on..." The white mare pointed to a large light set into one of the many control panels. "Hit the red button..." She pointed to a very big button, surrounded by a yellow and black striped square. "And think of someplace safe, okay?"

"O-okay! What'll that do again?!"

The white mare rolled her eyes, less than impressed with the cream unicorn's lack of knowledge. "The teleportation spell takes a destination from your mind. You think of someplace safe, and it'll send us there. Understand now?"

"Green light comes on, hit the button! Got it!"

"Good. Can I use your gun?"

Nodding, the cream mare levitated her revolver and some extra bullets to her companion, frowning when the white mare took the weapons grip in her mouth. "Rose! Use your magic for once!"

The white mare blinked, a white glow surrounding her horn and the bullets as she stuck her head up and opened fire. When she ducked to reload, there was one less machine approaching the room, proving that aiming properly made all the difference. The cream mare, meanwhile, was crawling towards the button, eyes fixed on the light, waiting for it to turn green, going over her instructions in her mind.

Green light, hit button, think of somewhere safe. Green light, button, safe place. Green light... Hey, green light!

She raised her hoof and bashed the red button as hard as she could, the hum building to a low whine, the air crackling as a powerful magical charge gathered. Her trio of friends continued to fire at the endless wave of mindless machines that was only moments from overwhelming them, and she did her best to tune out the constant barrage of noise, desperately trying to think of anywhere safe.

Safe... Safe... Where's safe?! Oh, if only that place in Rose's storybook was real! What was it called? Ponyville? Where those Element of Harmony thingies were? And why's everything glowing all of a sudden? I feel-

A wave of blindingly bright magic washed through the room, and none of them were able to feel anything. When the glow faded, the room was empty save for smoke and sparks coming from the machines. As the first ponytron stepped into the room, it registered no signs of life, and the new information travelled back through the security systems. After a moment, their work seemingly complete, the steel army turned and began to clank back to their resting places.

Soon, the facility was silent once more, the ancient systems charged with protecting the building not concerned with where the intruders had gone, only that they were no longer present.

A/N: Well, things are off to a roaring start! Where will our intrepid group of friends end up, and what adventures await them?

This is just a side-project for me to work on when I need a break from Wasteland Bouquet, but I'll still be giving it my all!

Chapter 2: A New World?

---CHAPTER 2: A NEW WORLD?---

A slow, steady beeping woke me up, cutting through the fog in my head like an alarm. With a weak groan, I tried to get my lethargic, unresponsive body to move, only succeeding in turning my head towards the sound. "Shot-" I coughed; my mouth was drier than sun-baked sand and it tasted like I'd been eating rancid meat. "Shot Glass... Turn that damn thing off..." There was no answer, so I forced my eyes open, the splitting headache and the waves of nausea meaning I was in no mood to be woken up like this. Celestia, what a hangover...

"Isabella Shot Glass Greywing... What have I told you about-"

I had to blink a couple of times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Instead of scolding my little sister for sneaking into my room again and forgetting to turn off the alarm on her pipbuck, I'd been hoarsly whispering at a beeping machine, little lights winking at me in response.

What the hell... Where am I? Where are the girls?

My head was throbbing, but I definitely remembered being with them before... before...

Before that light had damn-near blinded me, and I'd woken up... wherever this place was.

With a groan I tried to move, but my sweat-soaked body was too weak to respond, my gut twisting horribly, and I realised what was wrong with me.

Radiation sickness.

Coughing, I tried to reach my belt, desperately grasping for one of the packets of Rad-Away I always carried, but failed, my muscles limp and weak. Moments later, I heard a door open and a white mare stepped into my view, her eyes wide. My first thought was that it was Rose, but this was a pink maned earth pony with a little white hat, not my favorite unicorn.

She stared at me with wide eyes before turning back to where I assumed the door was, out of my limited view. "Doctor! He's awake!"

Another pony came in, this one a male unicorn in a white coat. I coughed and he came beside my bed, looking deeply concerned.

"Where-" Another coughing fit, and the foul taste grew stronger.

"Easy now." The doctor frowned. "You're in the hospital, but you're very sick, so try not to move.

"Belt..."

"Hmm?" The doc leaned closer. My was voice too low and hoarse for him to hear me properly, I guess.

"My belt... Rad-away... in the pouches..." Talking was a real strain, and the room was starting to spin. "Hurry..."

The doctor turned back to the nurse and started to speak, but everything was muffled as the world faded to black.

The beeping was the first thing I was aware of... again.

This time, though, my first words weren't directed at the irritating machine. Instead, when I opened my eyes, I saw the doctor standing beside an IV stand, several pouches of the life-saving orange concoction hanging from it, all but one of them empty. The last was half-drained, a line leading from it to what I assumed was the spot of pain in my arm.

"Doc..." I coughed, but it wasn't as bad as the last time. I managed to work up some saliva, moistening my mouth as the doctor turned to me, looking surprised.

"You're... awake? But I thought... Your body, it was..."

"Failing? I know." I interrupted him, swallowing and giving my head a small shake as I gingerly sat up, the room spinning. Celestia, why couldn't I just have had the hangover from Tartatus? "You act like you've never seen a case of radiation poisoning before..."

"Radiation poisoning?" He looked confused.

Now it was my turn to be confused. "You're a doctor... How can you not-" A coughing fit cut me off, sharp pains tearing through my chest, and I waved my claw at the doctor urgently. "Belt! Now!"

Leaning away from my claws (maybe I shouldn't have waved them in his face), he levitated my belt from a chair in the corner and into my reach. I grabbed it, noticing that my knife was missing, and yanked out a healing potion, yanking the stopper out and downing the wonderful liquid, sighing with relief at the feeling of whatever was messed up in my chest patched itself together.

"Thanks..." I took a deep breath, holding it for a moment to make sure I wasn't going to start coughing again, and let it out slowly. The doctor was staring at the empty vial curiously, and I took the chance to look around the room, getting my first proper look at what was apparently the inside of a hospital in whatever town Lily's little brain had thought was safe.

The first thing I noticed was that it was clean, cleaner than anywhere I'd ever been. The usual grime was absent from the the walls, the lights seemed to be working perfectly and the floor looked like you could eat off of it.

The second thing I noticed was important enough for me to turn around and grab the doctor by the front of his coat, lifting him off the floor despite how worn out I was. I snapped my beak in front of his face, making sure I had his attention before speaking slowly and clearly. "Where. Are. My. Friends?"

"I-in another room!" He struggled, panicking. "T-they're in the same condition as you! We didn't know what had happened and-"

"And you thought it was a good idea to seperate us." Scowling, I dropped him and hopped from the bed to the floor, leaving the too-clean sheets in a tangled mess. The short drop made me stumble, still weak despite the Rad-Away and healing potion, but I straightened quickly before turning back to the doctor, flexing my wings and glaring at him. "Take me to them. Now." He nodded, terrified, and all but ran to the door. I hesitated just long enough buckle my belt on before following, less concerned with the now-frightened doctor than I was with making sure the girls were okay.

The growing pressure in my bladder could wait, as well. Rad-Away... what a pain.

"Damn... This was a close one..." I lowered my little sister's foreleg back onto her bed, having just checked her Pipbuck to get a handle on how much radiation we'd all been exposed to. It wasn't enough to kill us quickly; we'd have lasted a few more days without Rad-Away.

A quick check of my belt made me frown and look around the room, at the two mares and the filly that had been my family for so long, each with one of my remaining Rad-Away packets on an IV stand next to them, slowly purging their bodies. I didn't have enough packs of the orange stuff to do more than get them out of danger...

I'd need our supplies to get them up and moving again.

"Hey, doc." I turned around to look at the doctor, who was near the door, shaking. He flinched at the sound of my voice, and I gave a quiet sigh, regretting scaring him before. When I spoke again, I did my best to sound calm and friendly. "Doc... You got a family?"

He hesitated for a second, then nodded. I almost groaned at the look on his face; it was like he thought I was threatening him!

"Good to hear..." I waved my claw at the three passed-out ponies. "These girls... They're my family... Sorry I acted like that before, but, well... I thought they were in danger. You understand, right?"

The doctor swallowed and nodded, then managed to speak, his voice unsteady. "You... you were just worried about... your family?" I could hear the disbelief in his voice, and sighed.

"Wierd, I know. Griffin and pony family, not really normal, is it?" I let out a small chuckle, and stroked my little sister's mane. "Shot here's my baby sister. I'd do anything to keep her safe, y'know?" I managed a smile. The doctor still looked nervous, but he seemed to be settling down a little. "She's in a bad way, doc... I don't have enough Rad-Away on me to take care of her, but there's plenty in our bags... Think you could get our stuff? Rad poisoning is a bad way to go, and... just, help me, doc. Please?"

He hesitated for a moment before nodding. "O-okay... Just, wait here, will you?"

When he left the room, giving me one last, cautious look, I found myself breathing easier. This place may have been freakishly clean, and the ponies even more so, but most doctors were at least fairly trustworthy. I decided to have another look at Shot's Pipbuck to make sure she hadn't been injured in any other ways, but a glance at the date made me frown. The little numbers, glowing dimly on the battered screen, couldn't have been right... could they? I made a mental note to ask Shot about it, see if she'd been playing with it again. There was no way it was right.

It didn't take long before he was back with our bags and pouches, as well as a pair of nurses, including the mare from earlier. "We've got your things, mister...?"

"Ibis." I nodded and stepped away from Shot's bed, to help the doctor and nurses with the bags. "My name's Ibis." The nurses seemed skittish around me, not that I could blame them. Most ponies tend to react badly to having a predator so close, and I was a lot bigger than them... even if there was something about both them and the doctor that seemed off to me.

It was easy to find what I needed, long familiarity with my family and their quirks meaning I knew exactly where they kept everything. Shot Glass' saddle bags were neatly organized, thanks to the inventory management spells built into her Pipbuck. Just one feature of the little marvel, and one of many reasons she never took it off. Rose, my favorite unicorn, had the orange pouches strewn all through her bags, with no apparent rhyme or reason. As for Lily, my friend and one-time employer, her bags were the very picture of organized chaos. The pouches were jumbled in with the rest of her medical supplies, under a box of snack cakes.

"Three each. Two intravenous, tear one open and pour it down their throats. Gets it into their systems quicker." The nurses moved to follow my instructions with Lily and Rose, while I handled Shot myself. The doctor watched me, clearing his throat when I finished hooking the charcoal filly up to the pouches.

"This... Rad-Away... what is it, exactly?"

I frowned and turned to him, absently stroking Shot's mane. "Are you serious? You... you're not kidding are you?" When he shook his head, I let out a disbelieving laugh. "Where the hell are you from, doc? Rad-Away? Cleans you out, gets rid of radiation?"

"What, exactly, is radiation?"

His expression made it clear that he honestly didn't have a clue, and I shook my head, trying not to just start laughing. This was crazy... where the hell had Lily brought us?! "Radiation, doc! The whole damn wasteland's blanketed in the stuff! Shuts down your organs, turns you into a ghoul, makes you grow eye-tentacle-penises? Ringing a bell?"

The doc went pale, shaking his head and swallowing. "N-no..."

"By Luna's Flank! Where the hell are you from, doc?" This had to be a joke... how could a doctor not know about radiation?!

"W-we're in Ponyville... This is the Ponyville General Hospital... we've never had any patients from the Badlands before..."

"Bullshit." I glared at him. "Ponyville's a fucking raider nest. There's no way we're in Ponyville. Where are we, really? Tenpony? Some Steel Ranger base?"

"Mister Ibis, I'm telling you, we're in Ponyville!" The doctor insisted. By this point, the nurses were watching us argue.

"And I'm telling you, that's bullshit! Ponyville is-"

A sudden coughing and retching cut me off as Rose suddenly sat up in her bed, eyes snapping open as she looked around frantically. All four of us, myself, the doctor and the nurses, rushed to her side. The doctor got there first and recieved a hoof to the jaw for his trouble, the force of the blow sending him reeling. I grabbed Rose's hooves, trying to hold her still, and called over my shoulder, "Sorry! She doesn't like stallions!"

At Rose's continued attempts to lash out, I tightened my grip on her hooves and pushed her back against the bed, pinning her down. I ws glad she was weak from the rad sickness, or she'd probably have killed me. "Easy! Rose, it's me!"

"Ibis?" She stilled, her grey eyes locking on me before wandering around the room. "Ibis, where are we?"

Behind me, the doctor answered as the nurses helped him up. He looked quite cross, and I could already see a bruise forming where he'd been hit. "As I told your friend before, we're in Ponyville..." He started to approach again, but stayed out of Rose's reach. My pale mare blinked, then stared at him.

"Ponyville?" She turned to me. "Isn't Ponyville full of raiders?"

I nodded. "That's what I said. And Rose? You hit the doc."

"Oh. Sorry."

The doc rubbed his jaw, frowning. "I'd appreciate it if you don't do it again, miss...?"

"Whiskey Rose."

I slowly released my grip, letting Rose sit up again. The doctor and nurses kept their distance from her, none of them wanting a repeat of her accidental attack. "She really doesn't like strange stallions, doc, and she likes being touched even less. Isn't that right, Rose?" She nodded. "See? But she won't do it again, will you?" She shook her head this time, and the doctor took a tentative step closer, relaxing when he wasn't immediatly smacked upside the head.

"Listen, you two. Ponyville is perfectly safe. The is no radiation, whatever that is, and certainly no raiders, whatever they are. Just friendly ponies. Okay?"

Rose blinked at him and I tried not to smirk. That was the best answer he'd get out of her. At any rate, I had something much more pressing on my mind. "Rose, how are the others?"

She looked at Lily, the cream mare still laying there, unconcious, then at Shot, who was in the same condition. "They're not hurt, and they're getting better... Ibis, what happened? How did we get here?" Rose looked at me, cocking her head to the side.

I shrugged. "Ask Lily when she wakes up. She hit the button, we ended up in the hospital with rad poisoning."

"Oh... Ibis?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's my gun, and where's a bathroom?"

After Rose relieved herself, we managed to convince the doctor to let us have the rest of our stuff. I got the feeling he didn't know what a gun was, though. Just another thing that didn't make sense, along with Ponyville being peaceful or the doctor and nurses being freakishly clean... that was it! While we were waiting for Shot and Lily to wake up, I realised what was so strange about these ponies: They were clean.

Not just clean like they'd bathed recently, but like they bathed frequently. It was a little unsettling, seeing ponies so clean, so fat, so... so soft.

Eventually, though, the rest of our group regained consiousness, and I filled them in on what had happened, being extremely sure that Lily understood that, wherever we were, it was her fault. She claimed to have been thinking of Ponyville when the machine activated, and I had to check her for a concussion. It was a little irritating that she didn't have one, because that meant she wasn't delirious or brain-damaged.

At any rate, she was quickly drawn into a conversation with the doctor about where we were, how we got there and our bill. The doctor said something about Equestrian health-care being free, but I wasn't really listening. Shot Glass had the attention of both me and Rose.

"Two... hundred.. years..." I stared at the filly, who had her foreleg raised so Rose could check the pipbuck. "Rose, something's gotta be wrong with that thing. There's no way we're two hundred years in the past."

Rose shrugged, letting Shot put her hoof back on the bed. "That's what it says."

"But... how?"

She shrugged again. "Maybe the teleporter was broken."

I tried to come up with something, anything, to say, but a sudden pain and the unpleasent sensation of having my chest feathers ripped out made me squawk and look down, glaring at Shot Glass.

The filly spat her mouthful of feathers out, hopped up on her hind legs with her front hooves pressed against my chest and looked me in the eye, her expression as serious as could be. "Big bro, where's the toilet? Rad-Away goes through me-."

"-like a herd of rampaging brahmin, I know." I rolled my eyes. "Rose, take her, will you?"

Rose nodded and lead our baby sister out of the room, with one of the nurses close behind. Lily and the doctor were still in deep discussion, talking about who knows what. Probably the price of healing potions or something. I shook my head in disbelief, trying to process what I'd just heard. "Two hundred years... We're two hundred years in the past..."

I heard the door open and turned, not expecting my sister and marefriend to be back so soon, only to see a purprle unicorn mare sticking her head in. "Did I just hear you right?" Her eyes were shining with delight and curiosity, and I suddenly felt very nervous as she pushed the door open and came towards me. "You're from the future?"

Author's Note

Dun-dun-duuuun! Who could this strange, purple unicorn be?

This chapter turned out a lot longer than I thought, unsurprisingly. Ah, well. There's only so much you can do when you write an entire chapter in a single day.

Feel free to comment! In fact, I strongly suggest it!

Chapter 3: I'll flux your capacitor

---CHAPTER 3: I'LL FLUX YOUR CAPACITOR---

“So, we don’t owe you anything?” I stared at the doctor. Seriously, nobody in the wasteland was that generous! To my disbelief he shook his head.

“That’s right. Equestrian healthcare is free, although I wouldn’t mind if you donated a few of those healing potions. I’ve never seen anything like them!”

“Huh?” I was confused. “They’re just normal healing potions...”

The doc shook his head again. “Even our best healing potions aren’t as effective as the ones you and your friends have.”

“Well... I guess we can give you some... I mean, you’re not charging us or anything, so-”

A sudden squawk from behind where Ibis, Rose and Shot were sitting made me turn around, only to see Ibis being cornered by a purple unicorn with the messiest mane I’d ever seen. One of her eyes was twitching and she was bombarding my grey feathered friend with questions about the future, until he was pressed flat against the wall. Thankfully, Shot wasn’t in the room, or she might have attacked the strange mare... where was she, anyway? I didn’t see Rose, either.

“Um, doc?” I turned back to the doctor. “Who’s she?”

The buck facehoofed, before crossing the room and putting one hoof on the mare’s shoulder. “Miss Sparkle... Miss Sparkle!” Having successfully gotten her attention, he gave her a smile. “I’m glad you remembered our appointment, but could you please not harass the other patients?”

“B-but they’re from the future! See?!” A purple glow surrounded her horn, which was now pointed straight at Ibis. Even as the griffin leapt out of the way, he was surrounded by wibbly-wobbly glowing thingies, and the mare gave the biggest, freakiest grin I’d ever seen. “Trans-temporal particles! But... they’re not decaying... they’re... stable...” Her eye started twitching again and she advanced on Ibis, who was picking himself up and swatting at the glowing things surrounding him. “They’re stable... who are you? Starswirl the Bearded is the only unicorn in recorded history to create a working time-travel spell, and I know it’s not his work because you would have gone back to your own time by now. The future must be so advanced if you’re able to create a permanent temporal displacement field...”

At this point, Ibis had jumped over one of the beds and was using it to keep some distance between himself and the crazy mare. I was just sitting in place and looking on in bewilderment, while the doctor tried to calm her down.

“Miss Sparkle, please calm down.” The doc pleaded with the crazy purple mare, but she ignored him completely.

“Oh, I have so many questions!” She was practically chasing Ibis around the bed now. “What’s the future like? Can everypony travel through time? Why did you come back?” She gasped. “Is there going to be some disaster in the future?! Did you come back to stop it? How-”

The doctor sighed as the strange mare suddenly dropped, her words slurring together as she slumped on the tiled floor, a syringe stuck in her flank. “I’m really sorry about that. Miss Sparkle tends to be somewhat... unstable after her longer study sessions. We have her assistant send her in for check-ups, just to make sure she doesn’t have one of her episodes, but she’s never accosted other patients before. It must be because you said you were from the future.” He waved a hoof at Ibis, who was perched on the bed, watching the tranquilised mare warily. The glowy things that floated around him were starting to fade by now. “While I doubted your story, Miss Sparkle seems to believe you, and she is Ponyville’s expert on unusual magic, so I’ll take her word for it.”

“Uh-huh...” I just stared at him, confused. One second, Ibis was being chased by a deranged mare, the next the doctor was saying we were from the future. I was starting to think I’d missed something.

“I’ll take care of Miss Sparkle, if you’ll excuse me.” The doctor picked up the mare in his magic and took her out of our room, Rose slipping past him in the doorway with a bewildered Shot Glass on her back, staring at the purple pony as she passed.

“Lily, who was that?” Rose cocked her head and, after depositing Shot onto the bed Ibis was perched on, sat next to me.

I shrugged, watching our baby sister and Ibis talking. I caught the words ”Ponyville”, ”Map” and ”Crazy Mare” before Shot raised her pipbuck-encased foreleg for Ibis to look at.

“I dunno, Rose... the doc said her name was Sparkly or something...”

Rose stared at me for a second, then Ibis, then the door to the room. “Twilight Sparkle?”

I shrugged again. “Sparkle sounds right... I don’t think he called her Twilight, though... why?”

My pale sister grabbed her saddlebag in her teeth and dragged it over, before plunging her head into it and emerging a few seconds later with a book in her mouth. The battered old book, showing its age, was promptly spat onto the floor and flicked open to what I could have sworn was a random page, but then again... Rose always did have a good memory for her books. “I think that was her, Lily. Twilight Sparkle.”

I looked at the picture she had her hoof on. “Twilight Sparkle. Element of Magic. Uh, Rose... it says she was alive two hundred years ago... y’know, before the war?”

Rose blinked. “And?”

“And? And nothing, sis. How could a pony who was alive hundreds of years ago have just walked in and chased Ibis around? Did you hit your head or something? Let me check.” When I tried to see if there was a lump under that crimson mess my sister called a mane, she shook her head.

“Lily, we are two hundred years ago.”

I stopped fussing with her head and stared at her. “What?”

“The teleporter, remember?” I nodded slowly. “I think it was more broken than I realised. What were you thinking of when you pressed the button?”

I scratched my head. “Like I told Ibis, I was thinking of... of Ponyville, the place from your books, not the one full of raiders.”

Rose nodded. “And that’s where we are.”

“Are you sure?”

“Ibis, Shot,” Rose called out, “where does the map say we are?”

“Ponyville.” Shot answered. “How’d you know we were checking the map?” Rose just blinked in response before turning back to me, and Shot stuck her tongue out in retaliation.

“See? Ponyville. Ibis and I already checked the date; Shot’s pipbuck says it’s two hundred years ago.”

I groaned. “I’m confused, Rose...”

At that point, one of the nurses came in, wheeling a little cart with some covered trays on it. “Is anypony hungry?”

Ibis stared at her, one eyebrow raised. “Don’t I get anything?”

The nurse took a step back, smiling nervously. “Oh, I’m sorry. Most of our patients are ponies, and I didn’t mean-”

Ibis waved one claw, sighing. “I know, I know. Forget it. What’s on the menu?”

We all crowded around the bed Ibis and Shot were on, since it was closest to the cart, and got a covered tray each. Me and Rose plonked ourselves down on the floor, where there was enough room for all of us, with Shot and Ibis joining as soon as they got their trays.

“Enjoy!” The nurse smiled as I pulled the cover off and... immediately started drooling.

“It... it’s so... beautiful...” The biggest, shiniest apple I’d ever seen, next to what gentle, nervous, delicate inspection revealed to be a freshly cut daisy sandwich on bread that was so soft and fluffy it was like a cloud on my plate. Beside that was-

“What the hell? What is this stuff?!” Shot cried out as she spat one of the things that looked like yellow bacon back onto her tray. “Ugh! It’s on my tongue”

The nurse looked taken aback. “That’s haybacon, dear. It’s good for you.”

Shot narrowed her amber eyes, glaring at the nurse. “That’s not bacon... that’s not even meat!”

The nurse gasped, one of her hooves shooting to her mouth. “Meat?! N-now, dear, meat isn’t for ponies...”

The charcoal filly just snorted and jabbed Ibis in the side, distracting him from poking his food around on his tray. “Big bro, I want some jerky.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The big grey griffin idly pulled a clawful of delicious, salted radhog meat from a pouch on his belt and dropped it onto Shot’s tray before picking up his apple and eyeing it dubiously.

Shot’s eyes lit up, and she grabbed a hunk of the meat in her hooves, lifting it to her mouth...
The nurse cried out and extended her hoof, trying to get the meat away from the amber-maned filly, only to scream as Shot sunk her teeth into the intruding foreleg instead to protect her meal.

“AAAAAH!!”

The mare tried to pull away, but Shot was latched on. “Shot Glass! Let her go right now!” I reached over and tried to pry the little filly’s jaws apart, but she growled at me. Next was Ibis’ turn to try and free the poor nurse.

“Isabella Greywing, stop that. You don’t know where she’s been.” He tried to grab her muzzle in his claws, but Shot swiped her hoof at him.

“Shot.” At one word from Rose, Shot let go and looked up at her sheepishly. Blue-grey eyes met amber, and amber blinked. “Say you’re sorry.”

Shot grimaced, but turned back to the nurse, who was cradling her injured foreleg, a small bit of red showing where the skin had been broken. “Fine... I’m sorry...” I rolled my eyes, knowing full-well the filly was only apologising because she was told to.

“T-that’s okay... dear...” The nurse hissed the words out, keeping out of Shot’s reach. “I know you didn’t mean to...”

The filly snorted. “Oh, I meant to.” With that, she lifted the meat again and took a big bite out of it, glaring at the nurse. I rolled my eyes and pulled a healing potion out of my bag with my magic, sending it to the nurse.

“I’m really sorry about that... Shot doesn’t like other ponies, and she’s kinda... protective of her food... drink this, it’ll help.”

The nurse drank the potion and stared at her leg as the bite marks vanished. It wasn’t bad enough to need a healing potion, not really, but I didn’t want to get us thrown out. “Um... thank you, I guess...” She looked at Shot, who stared right back, completely unconcerned. “But I think the doctor will need to hear about this. It isn’t normal for ponies to eat meat.”

As she left the room, I shrugged. We ate meat all the time. Then again, if we really were in the past, then they might not... and if we weren’t in the past, then they were just really weird.

Deciding it wasn’t my problem, I floated up the shiny, luscious apple and, with a crunch that could have ended the world, bit into it.

When that first bite touched my tongue, the world seemed to stop. Electricity arced up my spine, my mane stood on end, tremors of absolute joy ran through my entire body and then... I melted.

Ibis looked at me, laying on the floor and moaning quietly as I ate the delicious, wonderful apple that surely must have come from the Goddesses themselves, and smirked. “Lily, did you just...”

“N-no...” I blushed and would have hit him, but the apple was just too good. “Rose... stop looking at me like that... I didn’t!”

Rose was hiding her face behind her mane, but I could see her cheeks were almost the same color as the mess on top of her head. “Lily... It was just an apple... and you...”

Shot looked between the three of us, her gaze finally coming to rest on me, and her look slowly changed from one of confusion to one of grossed-out realization. “Wait... did Lily just... oh... OH! EW!” She made a face. “LILY!”

“Oh, shut up.” I grumbled, ignoring them and devouring that heavenly fruit. Jerks.

Shot and Ibis were going through their supplies, stashing the leftovers from our meal and making sure they had a good supply of meat. From how the nurse and reacted, they were worried that they wouldn’t be able to get more any time soon.

“So... we’re really in the past?” Rose nodded. “Well... what do we do? I mean, we could stop the war... or try to, anyway...” Rose shook her head. “Why not?”

“Lily, if we try to change things, we could make them worse!”

“Huh?” This time, Rose sighed.

“Lily, it’s like in my Doctor Whooves books. When he tries to fix things in the past, it changes lots of things in the future. If we stop the war, we might not be born! Lily, I don’t wanna be not-born! It would be worse than dying! And I didn’t like that!”

“Okay, okay...” I put my hooves on Rose’s shoulders, trying to calm her down. “But we can’t just let the war happen, can we? Think of all the ponies that died! There’s gotta be something we can do, sis.”

Rose thought for a moment, then sighed again. “Ibis, Shot. Come here.”

With that, Rose laid out the plan. I won’t repeat everything she said; it was really confusing, and full of timey-wimey stuff that gave me a headache. The plan was pretty simple, though. We just couldn’t talk about the war too much, or reveal anything about what was meant to happen to the ponies of this time. The war was pretty easy, since none of us really knew what it had been about, and the pre-war ponies were even easier, since we knew almost nothing about any of them. In fact, Rose was the only one who knew anything at all, and even that was limited to what she’d learned from her books. She even hid the books that might reveal the future at the bottom of her bags, just to make sure nobody could read them by accident.

Other than that, we just had to keep out of trouble and avoid drawing too much attention to ourselves. No killing ponies if we could help it (Shot didn’t look happy at this), no getting rich (I groaned when I heard that one), nothing at all that could change things in big ways.

Pretty much, we had to live normal, boring lives, and hope nothing went wrong.

Our planning was interrupted by the sound of the door to our room opening, and the purple mare from before came in, smiling sheepishly. Her mane looked a lot better, and her eye wasn’t twitching like crazy any more “Um, sorry about before. It’s just that I got really excited, since you’re from the future and all. So, if it’s alright, could I ask you some questions? There’s so much you could teach me!”

Me and Ibis looked at Rose, who nodded. “Okay, Miss Twilight Sparkle, but we can’t reveal too much in case we change things.”

The purple unicorn’s eyes lit up. “That’s fine! My first question is, how do you know who I am?”

Nine days later...

We’d spent the last nine days in the hospital, being checked out, poked and prodded, talking to counselors and being interviewed by Twilight Sparkle. True to our plan, we hadn’t said too much about our time, and I hadn’t really wanted to answer some of the questions anyway... especially the ones about Shot Glass...

Finally, though, they decided we could go outside. With a couple of orderlies beside us, we followed Twilight through the corridors of the hospital. Rose was next to the purple unicorn, talking to her, while Shot was riding on Ibis’ back. I was just glancing around, taking in all ponies around me in wonderment. Since waking up, I’d seen ponies cleaner and plumper than any I’d seen in my life. The water we’d been given to drink was almost invisible, it was so pure! And the food... ooooh, the wonderful, amazing food... carrots, potatoes, peas and best of all... the apples...

“Oof!”

Not realising we’d stopped in front of a big double door, I walked straight into Rose’s backside. She ignored me, and I realised Twilight was talking to us all.

“I can’t believe they haven’t let you outside before now. C’mon!” With that, she threw open the doors... and our mixed screams, shrieks and squawk of pain filled the air.

Author's Note

Thanks to Genghis55 for editing this chapter. :twilightsmile:

Chapter 4: Journey

---CHAPTER 4: JOURNEY---

"Haven't you ever seen the sun before?"

I stretched, basking in the wonderful, warming glow of Celestia's sun, before responding to Twilight Sparkle. "Never." I looked up at the clear blue sky, where a distant shape could be seen circling; Ibis, soaring freely with no fear of the Enclave for the first time in his life. He was so high up, I could barely make out Shot Glass, the little filly held securely in his arms. "It's so bright..."

Twilight laughed. "Well, it is the sun. How does it feel? I mean, seeing and feeling it for the first time..."

I blinked and turned to the purple mare slowly, taking in the beautiful little park we'd all come to after getting over our shock and sun-blindness after leaving the hospital. Ibis and Shot were above us, lost in the cloudless sky. Rose had put her duster on the grass like a blanket and was stretched out on her back, a scratched and chipped pair of sunglasses on her muzzle. Me and Twilight were seated on a comfy bench in the shade of some luscious green trees. "It's... amazing... I've never felt so warm, and there's no clouds..." My eyes went back to the sky. "I feel like... like if I fell, I'd fall into it, forever and ever..."

"You know you won't fall into the sky, right?" Twilight gave me a funny look, and I smiled sheepishly.

"I know, but... look at it." I waved my hoof, encompassing the whole amazing view. "It's just so... big... and empty... I kinda miss the clouds..."

"You'll be happy to know that there's a rainstorm scheduled later this week, then."

Wait, what? "Scheduled? How do you schedule the weather?!"

The purple unicorn looked confused. "Don't you have pegasus weather teams... oh!" She must have remembered some of what we'd already told her about our time, giving me a meek grin. "Well, the pegasi are responsible for scheduling our weather and making sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. Don't worry, though; they won't try and close up the sky."

We sat in companionable silence for a moment, watching butterflies drifting from flower to vibrant flower, listening to the gentle wind in the emerald leaves, before Twilight spoke up again. "Can anypony really do that?" I gave her a curious look. "Close up the skies like you described, I mean." This time, I nodded. "Why would anypony do that?"

With a sigh, I shook my head. "I don't know... I really don't. All I know is that that's what they did..."

The next couple of hours were spent talking about Ponyville, Twilight herself and us Wastelanders. Eventually, as the sun began to set, painting the sky with colors that took my breath away, we all set off back to the hospital, Shot riding on Ibis' back as usual.
At the doors we parted, but Twilight had one final thing to say. "Oh, Caravan, I forgot to tell you. I've informed the Princesses about you, and they want to meet you in a few days. Isn't that great?"

I glared at the proud-looking pudgy purple pony, too irritated by the use of my first name to really get what she said. "Lily. Not Caravan. Lily. And yeah, that's great..."

Twilight blushed. "Oh, sorry. Anyway, I talked to the hospital, and they'll release you in a couple of days for the trip. Oh, I can't wait to show you Canterlot! It must be so different from what you know! And I'm sure Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are eager to meet you!" She set off down the path, leaving Rose staring at her in shock. Ibis looked dumbfounded, while Shot was half asleep on her walking featherbed. "Bye!"

I waved back. "Bye, Twilight!" Something clicked in my brain. Princesses. Celestia and Luna. Canterlot. "Luna's Moonpies! Was she talking about the Goddesses?!"

The next couple of days passed in a blur of fretting and freaking out. Twilight told us that she was actually the Goddess Celestia's student, a little detail Rose's books hadn't included, and that from day one she'd been passing on everything we said to her mentor.

Apparently, the thought of an Equestria filled with radiation, pyschotic raiders, slavers and half-drowned in blood and the ashes of the past was worrying to the Goddesses. Go figure.

We had more important things to worry about than why the Goddesses wanted to see us... like the fact that Luna and Celestia wanted to meet us!

Every waking moment was spent preparing... well, every moment not taken up by interviews with the councilor. There was a lot about these ponies that baffled me, and their concern for our mental well-being was... wierd. Really wierd.

Despite that, we all managed to be ready when Twilight came to get us in the morning... kinda.

"You should have let me cut your mane, Shot. It looks terrible."
As we walked through Ponyville I fussed over the filly, but she wasn't having any of it. "Lily, leave my mane alone! Big brother cut it just fine!" Since we all had our bags and gear on she couldn't ride on Ibis' back, but she made do with darting behind him to avoid my questing comb.

"He used a knife!"

"So?" She glared at me from underneath him, and the featherbrain chuckled while trying not to trip over her.

"Leave her alone, Lily. She looks fine." Shot stuck her tongue out and starting trotting alongside Ibis. I growled and turned to Rose for help.

"Rose, would you... GAH! Rose!" She was ahead of us, talking to Twilight about something and ignoring the rest of us. I caught the words "Daring Do" and rolled my eyes. Of course my book-obsessed sister would make friends with the librarian.

It was early morning, so we didn't see many other ponies on our way through town, which was a bit of a relief. Shot had been getting kinda... antsy being around the ponies at the hospital, since they were always trying to talk to her.

The attention our little group would have gotten would have been a bit much for her to deal with, so-

"What is that?!"

In front of us there was a small building, almost a shack, with a wooden platform stretching from each side of it. Behind the platfom was what I was staring at: A metal behemoth, bellowing smoke from the pipe on top, with a bunch of carriages behind it.

"It's a train, Lily." Rose said helpfully. Twilight looked between us, confused.

"You mean you don't even have trains in the future? How do you move things over long distances then?"

I stared at her. "Uh, yeah we have trains, but none of them work. When we're travelling we usually just harness Rose up to the wagon and make her pull us."

Twilight frowned. "Why would you do that to your sister?"

I shrugged. "Because it's her fault that a giant spider ate our brahmin."

"I like trains."

The metal behemoth was amazingly quick, chugging along the tracks faster than Jacknife after a Sparkle soda and a bowl of Sugar Bombs. Add to that the comfortable seating, the lack of raider ambushes and the pony with the cart full of snacks (Twilight payed for us, since we didn't have many bits between us), and you had my absolute favorite mode of transportation.

Rose yawned before responding; the rocking of the carriage had already lulled Shot into dreamland, and my serious sister wasn't far behind. "T-they're... nice... but I miss the wagon..."

I rolled my eyes. "Rose, think how much business we'd get if we had a train in Atrium... hey!" Inspiration struck and I sat up straight, grinning. "When we get home, let's see if anypony has a working train!"

"Lily..." Rose yawned again, her head drooping. "You... need... tracks... for... a train..." With that, she fell asleep, leaning against the window.

I snorted and watched the scenery go by outside, lit by the morning light shining from Celestia's sphere. Why'd Rose have to ruin my great idea with her stupid logic? Getting the trains running back home would be a huge improvement! We'd be able to run supplies in much larger quantities than when we were still caravanning, and the business a train station would bring to Atrium would make the Wasteland Bouquet the greatest bar in the wasteland!

When we got home... I sighed and pressed my forehead against the cool glass. I really hoped we'd be able to get back. Shot had complained about missing Magpie, Rose didn't seem comfortable in Ponyville, Ibis was... well, he was Ibis. As long as he had us, especially Rose, I think he could have lived anywhere. As for me... I missed the wasteland. Sure, the world before the war was wonderful to look at, every breathe of the pure air was incredible, the fresh food and water were amazing, but... it wasn't home.

I looked around the carriage, idly floating a packet of sweets Twilight had bought me from the snack cart out of my saddlebag. Rose was fast asleep and drooling, her duster buckled tightly around her like a security blanket. Shot was curled up and snoring next to Ibis, who was discussing present-day griffin society with Twilight quietly. Our gear was stowed under our seats, including our guns.

No, this wasn't our home.

Our home was under the clouds, in the blasted hellscape we were born to, running the Bouquet or taking our caravan from town to town. This paradise wasn't for us.

As I munched the candy, I found myself sighing again. It really would be a shame to leave, but we couldn't risk changing anything... and, as much as I hated to admit it, we didn't fit in. Of course, it would be a shame to go home empty-hooved. Trade some of our supplies before we go, get some pure water, some fresh food, maybe even-
"Whoa." My breath caught in my chest at the sight of something enormous and white, clinging to the side of a mountain and gleaming in the morning light. It was something I'd seen once or twice in Rose's books, something that I'd only glimpsed from a distance for myself, almost completely hidden behind a thick pink haze.

Canterlot.

I made a quick guess based on the speed we were travelling at, the few trips we'd made through this area back while we were active caravaneers and our approximate distance from Ponyville. Factor in the rate our destination was growing in my view and... we were still pretty fucking far away.

I gave a small snort. I bet dad would be able to tell me exactly how far away we are... I wonder if he'll believe any of this? Mum'll probably think we're crazy or something; I'll have to get her something as proof.

The ivory towers, the graceful waterfalls, everything about the city must have been enormous to have been visible from so far away, but even from the moving train I could tell it was a place of beauty. It had to be; it was the home of the Goddesses. I couldn't wait to get there.

"I hate this place."
I raised my eyebrow at Rose, curious. Twilight had been giving us the tour on the way to the castle (the castle! To see the Goddesses! EEEE!), showing us all her favorite study spots, like a place called Donut Joe's. Apparently, donuts were round doughy things covered in icing and sprinkles. I wanted to stop and get some, but Twilight wanted us to get to the castle as in time for our appointment. She promised to bring us back after, though.

"What's wrong?"

Rose stared at me. At least, I think she did, since her eyes were covered by her sunglasses. "These ponies. They're so... fake."

I looked around as we walked, following Twilight's lead through the cobblestone streets. Most of the ponies around us looked really fancy, well-fed (fat), clean and... they all stared at us as we passed them, our rough little group getting plenty of attention. They weren't good stares, or even the kind we were used to... they looked disgusted, like we were beneath them. Ibis was ignoring it, but I'd noticed Shot snarling from her post beside him whenever anypony got too close. I don't think Twilight noticed, since she was so busy playing tour guide to us out-of-timers.

"C'mon, they're not that bad, Rose." I plastered a grin on my muzzle, trying to convince her. It didn't seem to work.

"They're worse than the ponies in the hospital, Lily." She waved one hoof, her voice low enough that only I could hear her. "They don't feel real. They're so... so..." My pale sister floundered, looking for the right words, then frowned. "Ugh. Nevermind, Lily." She sighed and I rolled my eyes before bumping my side against hers with a grin.

"Forget them. Aren't you excited? We're going to see the Goddesses!" I did a gleeful little dance as we walked, ignoring the staring ponies we passed. Rose nodded but didn't say anything, so I bumped her again and pointed to Ibis, Shot and Twilight, who had gotten ahead of us. "C'mon, sis. Let's catch up or we might miss out on getting into the castle!"

That made my antisocial sister pick up the pace, and we caught up to the others in no time. The rest of the way to the castle was a mix of Twilight's history lesson about Canterlot and the Goddesses (who Twilight insisted were Princesses, not Goddesses. None of us believed her for a second, of course. Being the student of Celestia Herself must have warped the poor mare's brain).

The only hiccup was when we actually got to the castle (Twilight said it was a palace, not a castle, but I honestly couldn't see a difference between the two even after she explained it). There, before the enormous gates that shone like polished silver, some guards cast the same spell that had been cast back in the Ponyville Hospital: A changeling detection spell.

Me, Shot and Ibis all got through fine, but the spell reacted to Rose. The next thing I knew, Rose was surrounded by guards with spears (Spears! I was starting to think they didn't have any guns at all!), Ibis was trying to pry Shot from the face of a guard she'd attacked for trying to arrest Rose, and Twilight was frantically explaining that the spell was reacting to Rose's talisman and that my sister was not a changeling.

A few minutes later Twilight had managed to calm things down and we were being escorted into the castle by a pair of blank-faced guardsponies, while the one Shot had attacked was nursing a black eye courtesy of the charcoal filly and her Pipbuck. Rose and Ibis were scolding Shot, but I could tell the filly was proud of herself.

Frankly, I didn't see what the fuss about changelings was. It was almost like everypony was expecting an invasion or something.

I'm not gonna describe the inside of the castle too much. Huge halls, pretty stained glass windows, fancy carpets (including some on the walls. Who hangs a carpet on the wall?), that sort of thing. A far cry from the Bouquet, that was for sure.

Eventually, though, we were lead to a room about the size of our bar's public area (and a million times fancier) to wait for the Goddesses. To my utter delight, the table inside had a fruit bowl. To my utter confusion, one of the fruits was a yellow crescent shaped thing. While I was puzzling out the freaky fruit, Rose got into a discussion with Twilight about the proper ette... ettiqeu... the right way to address the Goddesses ("Princesses", Twilight kept reminding us.) while Shot glared at the guards, who had stationed themselves next to the door, in case they made a move against Rose again. Ibis was content to keep an eye on our baby sister, occasionally distracting her with some jerky from his belt.

We'd been waiting for almost half an hour, and had offloaded our bags in a corner of the room. Surprisingly, nopony had tried to take our guns away, but Twilight had no idea what guns even were. The more I learned about the prewar ponies, the weirder they got.

Shot had given up trying to intimidate the guards (their poker faces were too good for her to break) and instead turned to cleaning Rose's rifle, under Ibis' supervision. I'd gotten distracted from the mysterious yellow fruit by a round orange one, which Twilight said was called an Orange. That had kicked off an argument between me and Rose over whether a fruit could be called a color, or if you could taste a color. Our lavender guide looked utterly bemused by our debate, but that came to an end when Rose sat up straight, her eyes wide, ears swivelling as she stared at the door.

"Lily... I-I think... is that... Them?"

"Huh?" I cocked my head and stared at her, but the sound of the door opening made me turn around and what I saw banished all questions from my mind.

The Goddesses.

Celestia and Luna. The Sun and The Moon. The alicorns of myth and legend.

Tall, graceful, powerful. The moment they stepped into the room, their ethereal manes shifting in some ghostly wind, their eyes focused on us (on us!) I felt my knees go weak. Tall, radiant Celestia, her coat so pure and brilliant white it made Rose seem almost muddy grey, with her color-streaked, ethereally shifting mane and a patient, kind expression. Not-so-tall but no less regal or radiant was Luna, her mane embodying all the beauty of the night sky, her coat a deeper blue than anything I'd seen, her eyes shining like two azure jewels.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement; Twilight stepping forwards to greet her mentor. Dimly, I was aware of Rose bowing beside me and did the same, prostrating my unworthy self before these living deities, my mind racing as I tried to decide what to do or say.

"Rise, my little ponies." I dared to raise my head a little and, seeing the Goddess Celestia smiling at us, felt all my worries wash away. Beside me, Rose and Ibis stood straight and proud, with even Shot visibly relaxing.

"I- We- It's..." Rose stepped forwards, saving me from making an idiot of myself.

"It is an honour to meet you, Goddesses Luna and Celestia." She dipped her head in a respectful bow to the heavenly beings before us. "Your student, the Lady Twilight Sparkle, informed us of your interest in our origin. I am afraid, however, that we are unable to reveal much, for fear of changing the future of Equestria."

The Goddess Celestia smiled (I'd never seen an expression radiate such warmth and love before) and nodded. "Please, you don't have to be so formal. We are not Goddesses, merely princesses." Rose nodded, and I managed to as well, still awestruck. "Now, I understand that you don't want to change the future, but your story is deeply troubling. Would you be so kind as to tell us more? Perhaps, together, we can change things for the better." Rose thought for a moment, then nodded again. Celestia gave a small laugh and waved her gold-clad hoof at the table which held the much-emptier fruit bowl. "Very good. Would you like some tea or cake? I find they help these things go by much smoother."

This time, I was the one to nod. Being offered cake by a Goddess? You'd have to be crazy to turn it down!

As we all took our places around the table (Twilight and the Goddesses on one side, our ragtag little band of wastelanders on the other), I nudged Rose and whispered, "Where'd you learn to talk like that?"

Getting comfy on her cushion, she whispered back "One of my books. Principles of Proper Pony Speech."

"And you do not know the cause of this war?" In response to Luna's question, we all shook our heads. As it turned out, we didn't actually know much about the war or what caused it. Just that ponies and zebras fought, then the world ended. The Lunar Goddess turned to the Solar Goddess with a frown. "Sister, I cannot believe we would simply allow such a thing to happen, for Equestria to be reduced to dust and rubble in such a way." She turned back to us. "Do you at least know where We were, and why We did not prevent this tragedy?"

Me, Shot and Ibis shook our heads, but Rose spoke up. "Papa said that, during the war, so many ponies went bad that it broke your hearts. When the world ended, you left to watch us from the heavens and wait until there were Good Ponies again... but... there aren't enough Good Ponies yet, and you can't see the ones that are there because of the clouds." She fidgeted, playing with the straps on her duster, obviously wanting to say something else, and Celestia gave her a kind smile.

"Speak your mind, my little pony. What do you want to say?"

Rose cleared her throat once, then twice, before getting up the courage to speak. "I... I just want to say that, even though there are lots of Bad Ponies, there's lots of Good Ponies as well. Jacknife, Doctor Needles, Auntie and Uncle, Miss Gossamer, all the ponies in Atrium, they're all good ponies. Even Lily and Shot are good ponies, and I... I try my best, like mama and papa taught me, so..." She looked down at the table. "Please, even though you won't be able to see them, please remember that they're there, and they're all doing the best they can."

The Goddesses (and Twilight) just stared at Rose in silence for a moment, before Celestia stood and came around to our side of the table. My breath caught in my chest as she rested her neck against Rose's in what could only be described as an Alicorn Hug. "I will never forget that there are good ponies in this world. I promise." Then, the unthinkable happened: Celestia did the same to me! Her coat, pressed against me, was softer than anything I'd ever felt. She radiated a warmth that put Her sun's heat to shame with its depth and vitality, so comforting it was like being hugged by my mother. When she pulled away from me, I was left gasping for air, watching dumbfounded as the heavenly being repeated the gesture with Shot and Ibis before returning to her seat.

The four of us were in varying states of shock and awe, staring dumbly at the Goddesses. Luna nodded, evidently less inclined to be huggy (Another Heavenly Hug might have been too much for us so, even though I was sad she didn't hug us, it was probably for the best), and said her piece. "We will not let our ponies meet this fate, nor condemn them to a life without Our Moon or Sister's Sun. This, We swear."

Thankfully, things took a lighter turn when the alarm on Shot's Pipbuck went off and scared the living daylights out of us all. I glared at her, and she grinned sheepishly as she hit the button to stop it. "Um... sorry?"

One by one we all started laughing, the tension and somber mood broken. Soon, we were telling the Goddesses and Twilight about some of our less depressing mishaps and adventures. Before long, Shot was yawning, and a glance out of the window revealed that the day was getting late.

"Um, not to be rude, but shouldn't we be getting back to Ponyville? It's kinda late..."

The Royal Sisters shared a look, then Luna nodded. Celestia smiled at us. "You are welcome to stay the night, all of you. But first, Luna and I would like to show you something." Twilight looked confused, but a nod from her mentor seemed to reassure her and the purple pony grinned knowingly.

We all filed out of the room, following the Goddesses of Sun and Moon through the corridors of the castle and up spiraling staircases towards whatever it was they wanted to show us. Rose stayed far away from windows as we climbed, her fear of heights kicking in.

As we reached the top floor, passing through gilded doors emblazoned with images of the sun and moon, the Sisters stood on a balcony, with Twilight just behind them. Me, Ibis and Shot stood behind Twilight, and the view took my breath away. Far beneath us, Equestria was spread out in the evening glow, towns and cities the size of a foal's playthings. Rose hoofed at the floor nervously, inching closer to me, but was stunned like the rest of us when Celestia and Luna raised their spire-like horns and spread their enormous wings. It took a moment before I realised what they were doing, but as the sun set and the moon rose in response to the glow of their horns, it struck me.

They really do move the sun and moon!

Their heavenly duties done for the day, they smiled at our awestruck expressions.

"You've come such a long, long way, my little ponies and griffin." Celestia approached us and, for the first time since the teleporter malfunctioned, I felt at peace. "It's time now for a new change to come. Here, in Equestria, your new lives have begun."

Morning found us on the train back to Ponyville after saying our farewells (and raiding the fruit bowl in our room and convincing Twilight to stop at Donut Joe's on the way to the station), with some paperwork allowing us to get a house in Ponyville.
As the scenery wizzed by, Shot and Rose talking excitedly about the Goddesses, Ibis and Twilight talking about the teleporter that blasted us back in time, I remembered the yellow crescent-shaped fruit I'd absently stuffed into my bag the night before. I pulled it out and inspected it, but I still had no idea what the thing was. Then Twilight noticed what I was doing.

"Lily, do you like bananas?"

After arriving in Ponyville, the next few hours were spent in the town hall with Twilight and the Mayor (who was called Mayor Mare. Again, prewar ponies are weird!) arranging our housing. We ended up with a three bedroom house towards the outside of town. The mayor said it was a Fixer-Upper, but it looked fine to me. Hell, it had three beds, a working stove and, best of all, clean running water! We could live with peeling paint, loose floorboards and broken window shutters for that!

After putting most of our stuff away in our new home (Twilight had to go back to her library. Something about a spike), we spent the rest of the day exploring Ponyville. We didn't have many bits to our names, so I made a point of asking around for any work that might be available. Hey, we had to earn our keep somehow.

There were a few jobs available, and I even got some leads on work for Rose and Ibis. Of course, actually following the leads would have to wait until morning, so the four of us went home as night fell. On the way, I couldn't help but look up at the moon and stars, admiring Luna's work...

Which is why I walked into Rose when she stopped dead in front of our house. "Rose, what're you doing?" I glared at her, and she blinked.

"Lily, there are ponies in our house."

"Huh?" I stared at her.

"A bunch of them." Shot piped up, and I suppressed a sigh. One of the few things I missed since giving her my pipbuck was the Eyes Forward Sparkle. At least she was putting it to good use. The filly turned to Rose. "Can I have a grenade?"

"Shot! You're not blowing up our house!" I yelled, but she ignored me. When Rose shook her head, the filly jumped onto Ibis' back to sulk.

"They aren't hostile, Shot. They..." Rose paused, staring at the dark windows of our house; there was no sign of life. "They want to surprise us. And I think one of them is going to explode if we don't go in soon. Lily, you first."

I rolled my eyes and took point. "Don't be such a foal, Rose. I'm sure it's- AAH!!!"

As soon as I opened the door, the lights came on and what looked like half the town shouted "SURPRISE!" I got a glimpse of a banner that said WELCOME TO PONYVILLE before a hyperactive pink thing with enormous blue eyes filled my vision.

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay and the sub-par chapter. Work got in the way, and I was so busy I got a bit rusty. :twilightblush:
How many references can you spot in this chapter? There's a bunch. :trollestia:

Edited by Genghis55

Extra #2: Deleted Scene - The Speech

DELETED SCENE #1- Rose's Speech

Whiskey Rose eyed the gathered ponies, the so-called nobility and elite of Canterlot, hangers-on and sycophants of the court of the Goddesses, with a disdain so well hidden that only her family noticed it.

The pale mare stepped forwards on the dais, taking a place beside one of her idols, the Princess Celestia ,and prepared to speak, knowing full well that the crowd held nothing but contempt for her and her family. She knew her words would have to be carefully chosen, that any sign of weakness would result in further mockery and scorn by those in attendance.

She swallowed, fighting down the bile that was rising in her throat, the dull emotions of the soft, weak ponies, bloated and swollen on their own self-importance, making her physically ill. Not for the first time, she wished she was still travelling the harsh and violent wastes that were her home, but a comforting smile from the tall sun goddess beside her steeled her resolve.

"We," she began, her voice steady and clear, "are the children of your sins."

Author's Note

What if the group decided to try and change things?
This was actually the first thing I wrote for Ponyville Bouquet. :twilightblush:

Chapter 5: Party

---CHAPTER 5: Party---

Whiskey Rose

The Pink One.

It was responsible for the invasion, for the riot of noise and color, for the miasma of sickening, sugar-sweet emotions I was unwillingly immersed in.

They called it a Welcome Party. Mares, stallions, even fillies and colts had gathered to welcome us to their town, with gifts and offers of friendship freely extended.

It would live forever as one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life.

Lily took the brunt of their attention, slightly overwhelmed but far more capable of dealing with strange ponies than myself. She accepted gifts and introductions with ease, chatting and laughing while I attempted to excuse myself as politely as possible.

Moving through the room was… difficult, the crowd pressing in on me, ponies speaking, laughing, making every attempt to be friendly. Some ponies asked where we’d come from, apparently believing we’d been travelling in the Badlands, beyond Equestria’s borders. I kept my answers brief, moving steadily towards Ibis, whose size made the Ponyville ponies just nervous enough to give him some room.

I found my griffin beside a table, trying to coax an agitated filly from under the shelter without much luck.

“Come on, Shot. It’s not so bad.” He lowered his head towards her, only to pull back as she swiped at him, growling.

“No!” The little grey filly stomped, and Ibis sighed. I nuzzled him, and he returned the gesture.

“Shot doesn’t like being near so many ponies.” I blinked at the scowling filly. “Isn’t that right?” Her glare was answer enough. “Do you want to go outside?” She nodded sullenly. “Come on, then.”

As the filly darted out from the safety of the table to hide beneath my legs, Ibis ran his beak through my mane with a sigh. “She’s been under there since we came in.”

I buried my face against his feathers affectionately. “I know. She doesn’t like it here.”

“I’ll tell Lily we’re going out, grab something to eat from the gift baskets.”

I shook my head, moving back so I could look my boyfriend in the eye. “No. Stay with Lily, make sure she doesn’t say anything to change the future. I’ll bring Shot back when everypony is gone. Alright?”

He nodded. “Alright.”

With that, I kissed him, giving Shot a small bop on the head for making faces before turning to leave, the filly doing her best to keep me between herself and the other ponies. I ignored the stares and curious looks directed towards myself and Ibis; it was no concern of mine what they thought of our relationship.

I took Shot Glass to the park we’d visited while in the hospital, spreading my duster on the ground for us to lay on. The night air was cool against our coats, but not unpleasant, and we simply watched the world at rest without speaking.

It seemed so unreal. The clear sky above, with thousands of stars, more than I could count, each glittering point a tiny marvel embroidered on the black velvet of eternity. In the middle of it all, drifting from horizon to horizon, like a great eye watching over us all, was Luna’s moon.

It was truly a gift, one these ponies didn’t seem to appreciate.

I looked out across the silverlit park, and listened to my little sister breathing beside me. It was calming, like a dream, and best of all… we were alone, no other ponies around. Without them, I could finally hear myself think.

What should I do? I wondered. Should I really let things be?

There was no answer, the silence in my mind deafening. It had been that way since I had first woken up in the Ponyville hospital. Starfall, the voice in my mind, was… gone. For the first time in so many years, I was without guidance. It felt… strange. Frightening.

A grumble came from my stomach, the first stirrings of hunger. We hadn’t had anything to eat while exploring the town, and I regretted not sampling the food at the party. As it was, our new house remained filled with merry ponies, and I would rather bear the discomfort than immerse myself in that crowd again.

Of course, there were always alternatives. I eyed the green grass, contemplating it. It was everywhere, blanketing the park, the town, and the surrounding countryside. Surely there was no harm in taking some from public property, where it was grown for all to enjoy?

I took a small mouthful of the grass, chewing slowly. It was quite bland, but it lacked the bitter aftertaste inherent to the wasteland scrub, and was filling enough.

“Rose?”

“Hmm?” I turned to Shot Glass, swallowing. “Yes?”

The filly scuffed her hoof into the ground. “I hate this place.”

“I know.”

“Do we really hafta stay here? I wanna go home.”

“So do I, Shot. I’ll ask Twilight Sparkle if there’s a way home tomorrow.”

“‘Kay.” She scooted closer, so she could rest her head on my foreleg. “Rose?”

I nuzzled her mane. “Mmm?”

“The Goddesses were really pretty, weren’t they?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Do you think they’ll ever come back?”

I paused in my nuzzling, thinking of what to say. “One day, they will. We showed them there are still good ponies, and that we’re waiting. They’ll come back. They have to.”

“Okay…” Shot yawned, burying her face against my chest. “Let’s go home soon… I really miss my mommy…”

“I know, Shot… I know.”

I stayed still, letting the filly fall asleep, the tension draining from her as she slipped into the Sandmare’s realm. She needed the rest, and our home was still under the Pink One’s occupation.

With a sigh, I rested my head on her small form. We had seen the Goddesses themselves, been blessed with Celestia’s embrace, witnessed their ancient, divine power over Sun and Moon, and I knew that, even now, Luna watched us from above. I prayed that She would watch over Shot’s dreams, and offer the filly some measure of peace and comfort, as far from home as we were.

Something croaked nearby, and I raised my head, eyeing the intruder with disgust. As far from home as we were, some things never changed. A slimy, hopping monstrosity approached, bounding, propelled by its hideous legs, its vile, staring eyes unblinking. It opened its maw, making that stomach-churning noise, and I grabbed a stick in my magic, raising it in a clear threat that even the simple-minded amphibian should have understood.

“Go away.”

The frog ignored my threat, croaking and coming closer. I bristled, glaring at it. “I said, go away.” It hopped ever nearer, and I weighed up my options. Killing it might change the future, but the little beast couldn’t be allowed to live. Another hop, and I made up my mind, bopping it over the head with the stick until it hopped away.

As it croaked loudly, fleeing my wrath, I allowed myself a smile. Not nearly as satisfying as feeding it a grenade would have been, but at least it wasn’t near me anymore.

I remained in the park, undisturbed, for several more hours. Only when every last pony had left our house did I stand, donning my duster and placing Shot Glass securely on my back for the journey home.

Author's Note

Thanks to Genghis for editing this one, as usual.

Google docs doesn't like me for some reason... blame it for the delay. I do. :twilightsheepish:

Extra #1 - THEY CAME FROM THE EVERFREE FOREST

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Please, for the love of Luna, don't take this chapter seriously!
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Good evening, gentle reader.

Tonight, we have for you a spine-tingling tale of terror, of ancient magics and unspeakable horror, a tale that, when spoken of by those who bore witness, is described by six nightmarish words:

They came from the Everfree Forest.

Our story begins, not in the small town of Ponyville, a place all-too-often beset by strangeness and mystery, but on a small path, some distance from it. A path rarely taken by the innocent citizens of Ponyville, for it lead away from their comforting lives and happy existence, leading only a dark place of twisted roots, ancient trees and creatures that haunt the night with their cries.

Nor does our tale begin with an innocent, one born beneath the sun, whose days were filled with laughter and joy. Rather, we follow a mare of somewhat darker origins, a creature for whom the dreadful forest held no fear.

Her name, even now, sends some of the more... delicate ponies of Ponyville running in fear, or causes them to huddle together in the middle of the street, crying "The horror! The horror!"

What is this name, this incantation that can freeze the blood? Two small words, dear reader, that apart are quite harmless, and together unspeakable.

Whiskey. Rose.

It had been an average morning, peaceful even by the normal standards of Ponyville. There had been no ancient gods announcing their return, no eldritch guardians of the underworld digging up lawns and nary a peep from the disaster-prone library. The sole disturbance had been a rather miniscule monstrosity, unleashed by an unwary unicorn filly who had only wanted to make toast, and that had been dealt with by a seamstress with a rubbish bin.

So it was, with nothing too do, our hero, or, perhaps more fittingly, our villain, found herself wandering along that lonely path. She had no destination in mind, simply walking for the sake of it. It was something she often did, and her path often lead, as it did now, into the untameable wilderness of the Everfree Forest.

Her hooves beat a slow, gentle rhythm on the verdant earth, Celestia's sun gracing the world with a warming glow, and the mare began to hum. It was a meaningless tune, meandering from note to note with no purpose beyond passing time, snippets of songs slipping serenely and smoothly together as she admired the brilliant blue sky, with so few clouds she could scarcely believe it. It was a paradise, one she savored with every breath and step, blissfully unaware of what her journey would unleash.

In time, she found her way from beneath Celestia's gaze, her hooves carrying her into the cool shade cast by the wild trees of the forest, her pale form swiftly swallowed by darkness and distance, the bushes, trees and vines seeming to swallow her whole. Of course, this was quite normal for the Everfree Forest, its unbridled life and strange, unfathomable consciousness welcoming all into its depths, and it could hardly be blamed for those who went missing or fell victim to the other dwellers in what could be called the cradle of life.

The mare felt at home as she walked, every step revealing more of the wonders of nature, from skittering insects to animals both fluffy and fanged. Her lungs filled with ancient air, body drinking in the strange, foreign, ancient magic that only a place so timeless and alive could possess, and she closed her eyes to better savor the wonderous swirl of impossible sensations surrounding her. In days to come, when the nightmare was over, she would admit that perhaps closing her eyes, while wandering aimlessly through an uncharted forest, was not the best of ideas.

Indeed, some other pony, less aware or of more peaceful and gentle a nature, may have met their end at the mandibles of a manticore, or the teeth of a timberwolf. Such a thing would not befall the mare, however, as several coincidences met at that precise moment.

With her eyes closed, she was unable to see a root in her path, raised and ready to catch her hoof.

When she tripped, she opened her eyes to find herself precariously perched on the edge of a small cliff.

Recent rains had weakened the soil she sat on, her sudden weight causing it to collapse, spilling her unharmed into the field at its base.

A large rock lay beside a hole in the field, a hole left exposed by a certain purple pony cursed by curiousity, and it was this hole that the rolling, bouncing mare shot into like an out-of-control ball of curses, scarred hide and leather duster.

Within the hole a smooth, slide-like passage ferried the mare deep into the earth, sending her flying into a conveniently placed pool of mirror-still water.

The mare struggled, not used to swimming, until she reached the edge of the small pool. Panting and exhausted, she lay in the shallows, resting her head on a cool stone to catch her breath. Her recent exertions had tired her out, however, and there, in the cool water and still air, she quickly fell asleep.

At this point, my dear reader, I'm sure you have guessed where our unlucky mare has found herself, and where she has fallen asleep.

"But," I hear you say, "she didn't speak the ryhme!"

Indeed, she did not, and that is what makes this a tale, not of comedy, but of terror. You see, the ryhme is little more than a spell, to focus the mind of those who would use the ancient pool and give purpose to the creations of that mysterious place. Without guidance or purpose, those born from the wellspring are creatures of the id, beings of uncontrolled desire, and their existence spells disaster for those caught before that tide of want and need.

"She fell asleep in the pool. You have to go all the way in or it doesn't work!"

This, too, is true. Had she merely fallen into the restful, peaceful sleep, our story would end with her waking up and going home. Unfortunately, for both her and the town she called home, her dreams were uncertain, causing her to roll about as she slept, submering completely before emerging, still lost within Luna's realm, on the far side of the pool, carried there by the unknowable power that lay within the oft-forgotten waters.

There she lay upon the shore, but she was no longer alone. Beside her was the first but, sadly, not the last, image given life by the mystical place. Pale of coat and crimson of mane, the newborn lacked only the aged leather worn by the original, and its sudden existence played havoc with the dreams of its empathic progenitor. This distress was echoed by the copy, and soon two sleeping mares were rolling and thrashing, chance and fate sending first one, then the other once more into the pool. Two became four, four became eight, more and more pale pretenders given life until the mental maelstrom reached critical mass, and the pool's creations woke as one. Their steely-blue eyes met in the almost-darkness, sharing awareness without sapience, true creatures of the id.

Hungry.

As one, they stood, over a dozen pale mares enthralled by the need to fill the most pressing of their needs, desiring only the fullness of their bellies. The sea of white and red filed silently from the hidden grotto, until there was only the original, still sleeping, dreaming she was lost in a maze of mirrors.

There was no warning. The horde descended upon Ponyville, a sea of silence set on sating their shared hunger. Pleas to stop were ignored in favor of produce, pies and pleasant-tasting potted plants. All that was edible was quickly lost to a plague second only to the last incursion of parasprites, and the ponies of Ponyville retreated to the town hall, over-reacting and panicking as they so often did. Voices called for the resident librarian, the same purple unicorn who had, only the day before, been researching the source of what was, in hushed tones, called the Pink Plague, to do something, and do something she did.

The studious mare, her deductive skills sharpened by several late nights with Fetlock Holmes novels, deduced that the original must surely be somewhere else, as all the pale palate pirates were uncharactaristically naked. With this certainty in mind, she teleported to the roof of the town hall, picking her first target almost at random.

A spell sparked, a false mare was banished, and the remaining eyes focused, unblinking, on the purple unicorn with the glowing horn who had just destroyed one of their number. A deep fear wound its way through her, and she swallowed nervously before teleporting back into the hall, shrieking for everyone to barricade the windows and doors. Her screams were in vain, however, as the citizens of Ponyville had already sealed every possible entrance and exit, their mob hysteria so well-practiced that, in the event of any emergency at all, they could turn any building into an impenetrable bunker within minutes.

Danger.

Their hunger forgotten in lieu of an apparent threat, the living falsehoods surrounded the town hall, beating their hooves against walls, doors and windows, their non-existent minds now focused solely on the purple mare, determined to prevent her from harming more of their number. Said mare was firing spell after spell through gaps in the barricade, even as the unrelenting horde broke through, spilling into the hall.

Fortunately for the seemingly doomed librarian, one of the id-driven creatures spotted a certain grey griffin, and a new desire, one that would only subside when fully sated, bloomed. A dozen mares converged on the luckless, or, perhaps, lucky, griffin, until only a lone claw could be seen, sticking up through the writhing sea of bodies, the citizens of Ponyville looking on in horror as even that vanished, covered by desire-filled bodies. They looked on in horror, unable to tear their eyes away from the scene before them as minutes stretched into hours.

The screams and moans would haunt the dreams of all present for years to come, the clones sating their needs and desires with the griffin, not even noticing when, after several hours of gazing at the scene before her in morbid fascination, the librarian, their former foe, began casting her spell once more, banishing the writhing, sweating, moaning horde one by one.

While most residents of Ponyville began the all-too-familiar process of rebuilding their town after the sudden disaster, pleasantly suprised that there was little actual property damage for once, a certain plum-coated teacher was was explaing the facts of life to some very confused children. A small group prepared to journey into the Everfree Forest in search of the source of the clones, and the mare who had unwittingly given them life, among them only one member of the pale mare's family. The other two, a young filly and a certain griffin, were in the hospital. The griffin, because of exhaustion. The filly, because she wanted to laugh at him some more.

The mare herself, the one who had unknowingly destroyed the innocence of an entire town, stretched, refreshed from her sleep, and set about trying to find some way out of the cave she had spent the last few hours sleeping in. She looked forward to curling up with her favorite griffin, and telling him all about the wonderful dream she'd had.

Author's Note

Since I'm having a bit of trouble writing the proper Ponyville Bouquet chapter, here's something to tide you over. Enjoy!