“Enjoy your new life as a pony carousel!”
Applejack stared at the ceiling, her eyes tracing over the gaps and grains of the wooden rafters for what felt like the hundredth time, wondering if they were due for a new finish. Though she’d laid down exhausted, sleep itself had eluded her, and it was now well past the witching hour. It was as if, no matter how much she tossed and turned, she couldn’t seem to get comfortable. It wasn’t that her bed wasn’t soft and warm, nor was the way she was laying particularly ill postured, but the way her flesh and bones piled against themselves, as if something was wrong with her body itself.
She closed her eyes, the events of the day playing through her mind.
Cosmos, Discord’s abusive ex, had returned from a long exile. Upon regaining her reality-bending powers, she’d transformed Applejack, along with her sister, Applebloom, and her two friends, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, into stationary horses on a merry-go-round. The words of the mad goddess still echoed, spinning clearly in her thoughts...
“Enjoy your new life as a pony carousel!”
Of course she didn’t “enjoy” being forcibly transformed by magic, and the way they’d been dressed and arranged had been nothing but demeaning. In the split-seconds of the magic working over her body, contorting her, dressing her in riding gear and hardening her flesh into fiberglass, she’d been nearly overwhelmed with fear. When it was done, however, she’d felt something different...
...Calm... Togetherness... Purpose...
...Peace.
She’d been right beside her sister and her friends, comforted somewhat by the fact that she knew they weren’t in any further danger, that at least they were together, and they’d been so colorful, decorated with all sorts of colors and shiny accents. The four of them, dressed in ornate harnesses and attached to gleaming brass poles, spinning around, going up and down...
She'd never known life to be so simple, so free of any care.
The strangest part about it wasn't being part of an inanimate object, nor was it being part of that object with the others. The strangest part was that, on some level, she had enjoyed it. That being something so whimsical had made her so...
...Happy.
Through the treetops, the sun bore down, split by the branches and leaves. Wobbly hooves connected with solid trunk, sending a wave of force up into the bows, which shuddered violently. Applejack watched as the apples fell, one by one, into their bucket, into the place where they belonged...
It didn’t feel the same.
Before, she’d been happy to just buck apples down from their trees all day, her heart swelling with pride as years of hard work paid off with full baskets. Since the day she’d gotten her cutie mark, she’d always known that this was what she wanted to do with her life, this was her purpose, this was where she belonged...
But now... She felt like an apple outside of its bucket, misplaced, lonesome, and in need of a good shine.
Her coarse coat would not be shined any time soon.
She sighed, looking ahead at the rows upon rows of un-harvested apple trees. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t sure how she was gonna get through them all. She wasn’t even sure she’d feel happy about it if she did.
She didn’t feel pretty, bright, or even solid. Instead, she felt gross and squishy, like she’d been melted into gunk that needed to be cleaned off before the finish of something worth looking at could show bright.
She used to find her job pleasantly simple, relaxing, going from tree to tree, left alone with her thoughts between them. Now though, figuring out which tree to walk to next, the force and angle to kick with, felt like a chore, and the spaces in between, where she was alone with her thoughts? Those were even worse...
She’d rather be circling a track, not worrying about figuring out where to go and what to do.
Laboring her way down the row, she neared the secluded part of the farm where she’d given the clubhouse to Applebloom and her friends years before. Looking forward at the endless plane of trees which didn’t seem to have gotten any shorter, she sighed. She supposed she could take a break to talk to the others.
It didn’t take her long to get there, and once she did, she found them sitting in a wide circle, quietly moping in the grass.
“Hey girls,” she spoke up, forcing a slight smile, “Y’all’re lookin’ like three eggs in a breakfast bakery.”
Applebloom glanced up, “Oh hey Applejack.”
“It’s a nice day out,” she kept on her air of happiness for them, “What’s got y’all so down?” They made space as she sat down in their circle, and she at least found some comfort in being with them.
“Ah suppose we were just thinkin’,” Applebloom began, “ya know, about yesterday...”
“Ya mean with Cosmos?”
“Yeah, but not her so much as the thing she did to us when we tried ta stop her...”
Applejack winced, “Yer... talkin about bein' a merry-go-round.”
Applebloom nodded.
Applejack placed a sympathetic hoof on her shoulder, “Ah know it was probably scary fer ya, and if y’all need me, Ah’m here fer ya. Twilight also said if we felt like we needed counselin’ or anything like that, we could go ta her.”
“Well... That’s just it.” she winced, “Applejack, can we tell you a secret?”
“Ah don't reckon I'm the best for that, seeing as Ah'm no good at tellin' a lie.”
“C’mon sis,” Applebloom pleaded, “We just dun want ya tellin’ anypony about somethin’ weird...”
Applejack sighed, giving in with a shrug, “Fine, Ah’ll try not to go blabbin’, but don’t expect me ta sit on somethin’ I oughtta be tellin’ somepony, alright?”
Applebloom shook her head, “It’s nothin’ like that, it’s just, well... Like Ah said, you remember what happened yesterday, when Cosmos turned us into a carousel and all that?”
Applejack nodded, “Yeah, Ah was pretty scared, and Ah suppose it gave you girls quite a fright too?”
Applebloom winced, “Well, it was pretty scary, but...” she “Once Ah got over that, it was actually kind of... nice?”
Applejack paused, pursing her lips as she gave it a good moment to think about, “Ta be honest, ah kinda know what you mean.” her smile got a bit more genuine as she reminisced, “We were so purdy, with all them colors and shiny bits, and we was goin’ around in a nice little circle without a care in the world....”
“We had bright paint! And gold trim!” Sweetie Belle chimed in, “We weren’t just a pretty carousel, we were beautiful!”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo grinned with her, “And the way we just glided around, without our hooves ever touching the ground... that was just like flying!”
Applebloom grinned, nodding along, “Yeah! We made a pretty neat lil’ carousel, doncha’ think Applejack?”
Applejack had to admit it: being the fixtures of a merry-go-round had felt pretty good at the time. They’d been without worry, just happy to be spinning, a beautiful carousel. She wanted to agree with them, and she almost did, but something in her mind stopped her.
She shook it out of her head, giving a little stomp with her forehoof, “Now, hold yer horses. When we was in the carousel, we couldn’t really do anything but go round and around. We was helpless ta do anything else, and Ah know y’all were just as desperate ta stop Cosmos as Ah was!”
She remembered all four of them feeling that way. Though now that she thought about it, she wasn’t sure how she remembered that.
“Well, yeah, we were upset about that part,” Applebloom rolled her eyes, “But other than that, not bein’ able ta move didn’ matter none ta us when we were there.”
Scootaloo nodded, “Aside from Cosmos and our friends, we weren’t really worried about anything. All we had to do was keep spinning around and around...”
Sweetiebelle “And despite everything that was happening to the others, we at least knew the four of us were safe.” she looked away to repeat herself, “...And we were really pretty.”
“If it weren’t for the fact that our friends were in danger, it might’ve even been fun!” Applebloom added, “We felt more together than we’d ever felt before, it actually feels kinda weird bein’ apart now...”
Scootaloo nodded, “It was like a whole new level of connection, and I know you all felt ok with it! If Cosmos had been defeated, but we hadn’t been turned back, do you really think we’d mind if we were still spinnin’ around together like that?”
Applejack winced, thinking for another argument, but she had to concede, “Ya know sugarcube, Ah can’t say fer sure we would’ve.” she smiled a little, “It was at least real comfortin’ ta know you were right there with me.”
Applebloom nodded back at her, “Yeah, you too. It’s like Ah just knew that, no matter what, you were gonna be by my side forever.”
Applejack smiled down at her sister, and for a moment, she thought she might feel her thoughts again. But the moment passed, and she remembered once again that they were no longer one, but two separate entities. There was a gap between them she’d never even considered before.
"Hey, That gives me an idea!" Scootaloo piped up.
The little pegasus flitted over to her scooter, putting a hoof on it, and holding the steering wheel at a single angle, dragging the wheels through the grass to make a wide, nearly perfect circle. She set it aside, pointing to the opposite end, “Applejack, you stand there! Applebloom, Sweetiebelle? You stand there and there!”
They all wandered over to the spots she’d pointed out as she took up a forth, grinning as they all got into position, “Now, we all walk in a circle, just like a carousel!”
Applejack’s brow went up, "Ah dunno, do you really think this is gonna work?"
"Come on Applejack, won't ya just try?" her sister pleaded.
“Fine.” she sighed, stepping into line and turning with the others, “Ah suppose ah’m not feelin’ like buckin’ apples right now anyway...”
And so, they all began to walk.
At first, it seemed odd, but once they’d made the first few rounds, she began to feel... nice. It was pleasant, relaxing, almost...
She closed her eyes, and for a moment, she began to forget she was still a pony of flesh and blood.
In that moment, she could’ve stayed that way forever.
They weren’t really aware of the passage of time, so nopony could say how long they were there, but at some point, a voice called out through the orchard...
“Aaapplejaaack?”
To them, it was merely another noise, and they might not’ve thought much about it had the sound not been strangely familiar...
“Aaapplejaaack?”
It took Applejack another moment to be roused enough to realize that the name being called was hers, and the voice belonged to a pony that wasn’t the others...
It was Twilight. Twilight was calling out to her. That meant Twilight was looking for her in the orchard...
“Aaapplejaaack?”
There it was again, but this time, it was closer... Twilight was getting closer... Twilight was coming!
“Wait...” she mumbled, “If Twi’s comin’... and we’re walkin’ in circles...” her eyes widened, “Aw horseapples!” she hissed.
“Whaa?” Applebloom looked over, shaken from her own trance, “What’s wrong sis?”
“Twilight’s comin’! We can’t let her see us doin’ this!” Applejack said quickly, stumbling away from the circle, “Quick! Everypony act natural.”
The three fillies blinked in confusion, but quickly went along with it, wandering over to stand near Applejack as Twilight came around the bend.
She smiled as she saw them, quickening her trot as she approached, “Applejack! There you are!” she glanced over at the three fillies, giving them a warm smile, “I was wondering if the four of you would be together.”
“Hey Twilight!” Applejack said, trying her best to keep her nervousness from tugging at the corners of her smile, “Yep, just hangin’ out with the girls, talkin’ about yesterday ‘n’ all that.” She immediately regretted letting the detail slip.
Twilight sighed, “Right, that must have been a terrible experience for you all. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“It’s fine Twilight.” she assured her, “None of us are too shaken up by that part.”
Scootaloo nodded, "Yeah, we were just upset that we couldn't do more."
Sweetie Belle raised a hoof, piping in, “And actually, the carousel part was kinda fun!”
Applejack raised her voice, laughing uncomfortably, “Yeah, Twilight, we ain’t even too shaken ‘bout it, so don’t y’all fret none!”
Twilight nodded, “I guess that’s good to hear. Rarity just told me that she was afraid to take a bath, so I scheduled her and Rainbow for some therapy. If any of you want to talk to somepony, I could do the same for you.”
“That’s mighty considerate of y’all.” Applejack gave her an earnest grin, “We’ll come right away if there’s any worry. Right girls?”
The three fillies all nodded and agreed.
“Well, that’s good to hear. Remember, what happened to you wasn’t alright, so it’s okay if you’re feeling bad about it. Just come talk to me if you want some help with it.” Twilight reiterated, and with a few other pleasantries, she took to the air and flew off.
Once she’d left their sight, Applebloom looked to her sister with a frown, “Applejack... I don’t understand. Were we doin’ somethin’ wrong just now?”
She shook her head, “Ah don’t see why there’d be anything wrong with it.”
"then why were you tryin’ ta hide it from Twilight?" Applebloom tilted her head.
Applejack winced, looking away in hesitation, “Ah just... Ah feel like it’s the kinda thing other ponies just wouldn’t understand.”
A smile slowly crept back into Applebloom’s face, “But you understand right?”
“Of course!” Applejack nodded, “Other ponies may not understand, but as long as we got each other, we got somepony to talk to about it.”
The three fillies looked at each other for another moment, then nodded in agreement.
“Yer right sis,” Applebloom said, “We don’t need ta talk about this with anypony but each other!”
The next day, Applejack took another early break, heading over to the clubhouse once again, following the sounds of hammering.
In the clearing with the clubhouse, the Crusaders were just finishing the construction of a large, circular wooden platform, in the place where they’d been walking in a circle earlier in the day. It was thick and sturdy, made from planks of apple wood, the warm stain and shining laquer of which had just finish drying. It spun slowly with the breeze, sitting on a well oiled rotary mechanism.
Applejack slowed, eyes widening in awe, “Is that...”
“It’s a carousel deck!” Sweetiebelle cheered.
Applejack blinked, “Y’all built this in one morning?”
Applebloom grinned, nodding enthusiastically, “Yeah! We all worked together!”
“It was so natural,” Scootaloo added, “It’s like we all just knew where everything needed to be and we put it there!”
Sweetie Belle jumped on top of it, “Come on! Lemme show you something!”
Applebloom and Scootaloo quickly clamoured on, taking up positions around the platform, leaving a side for Applejack that would make them evenly spaced in the four positions. She glanced at the spot with a bit of hesitation... it was... strangely inviting... like, it was the place where she belonged, her home...
...a hole that was made for her...
Slowly, she brought herself to step onto the platform with them, and found that she enjoyed the feeling of the solid wood, the shiny veneer smooth beneath her hoof. Without needing any instruction, she stood in her spot, facing the right direction.
Sweetie Belle smiled as, wordlessly, she lit her horn. Gently, the platform began to rotate, just like a carousel would, picking up just enough speed for the airflow to rustle their manes, but not enough to feel dizzy.
Applejack let out a quiet sigh, her body settling into the position. It was just so natural for her... so right... as if this was where she truly belonged, not working the orchard, walking from tree to tree, lifting her hooves and bucking, but standing on this platform, going around, and around, and around, and around...
...and so they went around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around....
Applejack was roused from the blissful peace of rotation by the distinct pain in her legs and on the skin of her back, which was all getting too strong to ignore. She grumbled, cursing the weakness of her flesh and bones as she was forced to move once again.
She wasn’t sure how much time they’d been standing like that, only that it had been enough for the sun to shift quite far in the sky, and for it to start burning their backs through their fur as their legs got cramped.
She looked up to see the others stirring as well.
“Aw shucks,” Applebloom groused, “Is that a sunburn?”
“My legs are starting to hurt!” Sootaloo added, bending them one at a time to get the blood flowing again.
“Having to move really breaks the fantasy of it,” Sweetiebelle thought aloud, “But it’s not done, and I bet we could keep working on it to help with that...”
Applebloom perked up at that, “Yeah, I bet I could build an awnin’ ta keep the sun off our backs!”
“And some sort of harness system, so we don’t have to stand!” Scootaloo added.
“And while you’re doing that,” Sweetie put in, “I’d like to paint it pretty colors, like pink and yellow!”
Applejack glanced around, their enthusiasm bringing a smile to her face, “That all sounds right fine. I sure did enjoy that just now.” She sighed as the feeling of moving her own legs started to wash away the peace of being on the carousel, “Ah guess ah gotta get a bit more harvestin’ done ‘fore the sun goes down. Y’all don’t stay out too late, ya hear?”
“Applejack, can we borrow some extra money?” Applebloom interjected.
“Y’all don’t got enough?”
“Well, we gotta get some more supplies from the store, but we already spent a lot of bits on the supplies to make this, and it’d be easier if you could chip in for it too.”
“Chip in for it too...” Applejack muttered, reaching for where she was keeping a bag of bits, but slowed as she thought about it... Should they really be doing this? Should they really be spending all this time and money on a carousel, just so they can pretend to be a carousel? Was this even normal? It felt so right, but wouldn't other ponies think this was crazy?
Finally, she reached an impasse, “Do... Y’all think this is a good idea? Ah mean, it was one thing to just walk around in a circle, but this is startin’ ta sound like a mighty big project.”
“Well, yeah, but we all enjoy it, don’t we?” Applebloom retorted.
“It’s not like we’re hurting anypony,” Sweetiebelle added, “We’re just doing our own little thing, because it makes us happy.”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo piped up, “Don’t you and the other girls say it’s ok to do things that make you happy, as long as you don’t hurt anyone?”
Applejack found no good argument, her hoof moving nearer to the bag of bits, yet again, she hesitated, “What about other ponies? Ah mean, what’ll other ponies think if they find out we’re spendin’ all these bits on a carousel?”
“Why does it matter what other ponies think?” Applebloom shook her head, “Applejack, yer the one always tellin’ us not to worry what other ponies think, as long as we’re bein’ honest with ourselves!”
“Yeah! Other ponies don’t have to live our lives!” Scootaloo added, “They don’t have any right to tell us not to be different!”
Sweetie nodded, frowning, “They don’t have to go through the sadness of this. If they did, they probably wouldn’t have any problem with it...”
Applebloom nodded along, “Yeah, if yer friends are really yer friends, they’ll be happy fer us, that we found somethin’ we like!”
Applejack pondered it a moment longer, but finally conceded, reaching behind her mane to pull out a small bag of bits she had tucked away, “Alright y’all, Ah can’t argue with that. Jus’ be responsible with it, ok?” She tossed the bag to her sister.
Applebloom grinned as she caught it with a hoof, “Don’t worry sis, we’ll make sure to do a real good job with it!”
With that, the three adolescent ponies ran off towards town, chattering happily about what they were going to do with the money.
And so, Applejack turned to get back to her work. She had a sense of unease about the whole thing, but strangely, she found that she had a spring in her step. Suddenly, work didn’t feel as daunting, not with the promise of getting back on the carousel in the near future. In fact, for the first time since Cosmos had attacked, it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders...
...she would be back where she belonged...
