In the beginning, there was anger

by Bulletspiral

Rating: mature
Tags: Sad, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Profanity, Violence, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5668

Luna is trying to find herself while in a state of aggression, despair and uncertainty about the future.

This is a translation of my own story. Original "long" description:
I wanted to somehow draw a line under two years of depression and grayness, which had somehow diminished in the last months after the relocation. It turned out to be rambling and unintelligible, but, apparently, it couldn't be done any other way.

Published 2024-04-25 09:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-04-25 09:20:00 UTC

In the beginning, there was anger

Day, night. Winter, summer. Year or two, does it matter?

I was lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling and trying not to think about anything, for thoughts kill the soul. I didn't feel like doing anything, and I didn't have any work to do. The papers Celestia had thrown at me were things that no one would notice, even with my signature. And the only thing that remains is finishing myself off.

We're all going to burn in hell. I chuckled. It will be warm, though.

Luna, you should at least go eat or your stomach will kill you.

The hell with it... At least I'll be dead....

I got out of bed and stood there for about five seconds, trying to see something in front of me. Stupid stars in my eyes...

Without even checking myself in the mirror, I dragged my feet into the dining room. And my eyes somehow tried to escape on their own from the white mare sitting at the opposite side of the table. She was hard at work writing something, but I don't care.

You don't care about a lot of things, Luna, admit it.

Shut up.

You're talking to yourself.

Shut up.

Taking a couple apples and plums, I chewed them without much enthusiasm, stopping my gaze into the castle wall. The stone walls didn't change. And why should they?

As I tried to finish the apple, I accidentally bit my own tongue, squeaking slightly in response.

“Careful.”

“Uh-huh.”

I hate her.

Have you ever dreamed of cutting someone into pieces? Maybe take out a heart and shove it down the owner’s throat?

I look at my sister from the back, keeping a distance in her chambers. Her snowy chest rises easily, wings clasped at her sides. She's breathing heavily - clearly half asleep. I could put her to sleep right now, so that her little head rests on its right side right on the table, right on the inked paper. I could rip her stomach open. I could pull her guts out and hang her on the chandelier. Her body would sway back and forth. The blood would make a straight line, sprinkling the whole room.

Unfortunately, I was distracted from these dreams by Celestia's yawn. She put her quill in the inkwell and began to get ready for bed. I hid in the darkest corner behind the closet. I don't want her to see me.

I like to observe, and the night allows the sensitive to see more and hear louder. I loved watching the ponies, the events, the surroundings... But I've never watched myself go slowly insane. I’m starting to hear voices. And... I shouldn't like it, yet... I don't know, it’s hard to explain. It’s bad. It’s unbelievably bad. But I don't care about everything around and inside me so much...

What voice do you hear if you're talking to yourself, Luna?

Clearly not mine. Clearly not mine...

I stared out my window at the darkness. The rain beat on the soft grass and the roof, echoing with a quick drumbeat inside. Sleep, which had not come during the day, did not come at night. I saw some figures in the darkness, but as soon as I wanted to gaze into their flesh, they disappeared, fading back into my subconscious.

My shift is coming to an end. Having signed the law about taxation and not being able to sell freedom to repay debt, I haven't even entered the realm of dreams. Nopony needs it anyway. If they have nightmares, they'll wake up and be asleep in five minutes. Hell with it.

I enjoy the night not only because of the mark on my butt (never mind what my sister says about that word), but because I'm alone. Perhaps that's the reason for my woe - I'm alone. My sister abandoned me in favor of the state. I can't blame her, but I can't love her either.

Although, considering that dream where I cut her throat with my own teeth...

I used to think that murder, or even the thought of it, was the ultimate pony sin. That there was nothing worse than taking an innocent life, most often for some rotten or down-to-earth reason. But the further you step into the void, the more you realize the pricelessness of life. A pony was killed yesterday, a 30-year-old stallion. Sword in the side. His lung was destroyed, he died on the spot from painful shock. Reason? Insufficient quit rent. The murderer was locked up. Period. The end. What has changed in this world? What happens if someone dies? Nothing. Life is just existence for existence's sake, there's no jewel that can't be replaced. One slave dies - there will be three more. One free pony dies - there will be ten more. I'm just glad that slavery is slowly dying as an institution of the state. But truth to be told - not so eagerly...

I guess I just pay too much attention to the big picture, the picture of the whole state, because I'm a Princess, that's what I'm supposed to do.

Luna, imagine Celestia dies morrow. How would you feel?

Pain, I guess. Yeah, that's right... After all, the sister we spent our whole lives with together... But... We've been so far away lately. It’s like I exist in a separate world from her. I'll probably stare at her corpse and talk to her for a long time. And then I'll just forget about her, like she forgot about me. Maybe I'll even give her a little whipping. “I didn't give you permission to die, get back here now.” Or not... I'll have to deal with my feelings for my sister sometime.

I left my chambers and went for a walk around the castle. The light of the torches could not reach the various corners of the castle, which at night became islands of light in the midst of an ocean of darkness. I feel good here. The shadows are watching me, calling me by name, telling me all sorts of stories walking around the castle. About how everyone hates and fears me, how they praise my sister, how they argue about all sorts of things... Maybe I should catch one and start beating him in the ribs until he tells me about all the moods in high society? Aristocrats can be quite cunning. Sometimes too much. But, as they say, there's a noose for every cunning one.

Luna, have you ever thought of getting into that noose yourself?

I don't know. I've had the idea in my head, but I've never gotten around to it. I guess I don't care enough to even look for a solution.

Talk to Celestia?

Maybe. The Sun should be up soon.

I walked into a dark dining room. I sat down at the table and made myself some tea. The dark liquid swirled in the cup like a whirlpool, putting me in a kind of prostration. I sat and just watched the motion. I don't know, but something fascinates me sometimes in such simple movements... A salute of honor, a falling autumn leaf, a slight movement of a front foot... I don't know what's got into me. I refuse to look at anything global and important: politics, wars, history. I look at politicians, at ordinary soldiers, at ordinary ponies. Or do I not refuse to, given my attitude toward the institution of slavery? Or my sister and I's struggle with Discord? With Sombra? Ah, whatever...

Soon I could have my name changed to Princess Whatever.

Taking a sip of tea, I heard slow and clumsy footsteps behind me. The white mare, rubbing her eyes with her hoof, was trying to see something ahead: her eyes, accustomed to darkness, didn't know what to do - the torches gave light, but not enough to narrow her pupils. Poor mare...

I chuckled.

“Good morning.” I said, turning my face to her. “You are early.”

“Have to.” She said, limping to a closet with food. “Have you seen bread?”

“Catch.” Throwing the loaf up in the air, I tossed it to Celestia.

She clearly changed the look on her face, catching the aforementioned product.

“Funny.”

I laughed.

“Where’s your optimism, Celestia?”

“It’s rather had to keep up with optimism when even your own sister...” She inhaled deeply, closing eyes.

“I’m just joking...” I said, having melted into background.

“Better don't say anything, I’m nervous for like a week now. Goodbye.”

Celestia, snorting loudly, walked away, leaving me and my cup alone.

Go fu...

I found nothing better to do than kick a ball with my hoof in my bed. Through the window, the last rays of sunlight touched my hind legs.

“Five hundred and thirty eight, five hundred and thirty nine, five hundred and forty...”

“Five hundred and forty one.”

When I heard the voice on my right, I didn't even turn to it: there would be nothing there anyway. I was probably talking to myself again.

As the ball hit the ceiling, I thought about leaving the room. Celestia probably wants to throw the Sun down quickly and get back to the papers. Not to say I wanted to talk to her much, but somehow the problem has to be solved, right? I guess...

I tossed the ball under the bed and went to the balcony. Light of the yellow star has already turned orange and was almost burned out. All that was left was to finish off the rest.

I looked up at Celestia's tower. The endless candle kept burning and burning... She'd never leave this country, bastard.

“You just want her to pay attention to you.” I said to myself under my breath.

I landed softly at her tower. Stepping quietly, I found her right where I thought she would be - at a desk, with a quill and paper.

“Tia, can we talk a bit?” She twitched, spilling ink.

“Luna, you’ll give me gray hair!” She yelled angrily. Having calmed down, she asked:

“What did you want to talk about?”

“About our relationships.”

“Y... Yeah...” She said with a yawn. “Let’s take care of the stars first.”

Celestia, using her horn, closed her eyes and slowly lowered the Sun. I raised the crescent Moon into the sky.

“What, even without stars?”

“You know where you can stick your stars.”

“Luna, you can think anything, but the stars are recorded in books with purpose.” Celestia said with a reproach.

“Which then lay useless.”

“Well, they are needed to somepony if they are written.” Celestia said with some incomprehension.

“Most of them are batponies, who are feared like ghosts. Even you see dreams of them cutting your throat open.”

“My dreams are my business, Luna! And it's not your cup of tea to break into personal matters.” Celestia said, poking me with a hoof.

“I thought you said to me that I should watch over the peace of the Fatherland.” I said somewhat absently under the sound of Celestia's hoof becoming grounded.

“Yes, but dreams and only dreams cannot be measures of something.”

“Uh-huh...”

Celestia sighed.

“We digress. You wanted to talk about us, here I talk about us: we are Princesses, we are the ruling diarchs, we are sisters.”

“I don't notice you asking me about my state of affairs as a sister. Only occasional “Hello-goodbye”.” I said with a light strain.

“What do you mean? I ask your opinion, I seek your advice about the decisions I make in the state! Luna, what are you talking about?!” Celestia cried out without understanding.

“Yeah, especially when it comes to punishment in “Carolina”. You, I suspect, don't understand that I’m hinting to our personal relationships - not the government ones.”

“Luna, you know it yourself that I’m always here - just come.” Celestia said with somewhat sad voice.

“Will you come to me, eh?”

“Lu...” Celestia started to coo, stroking my cheek. “Time is of utmost price nowadays.”

I struck her leg sharply, causing her to clutch it to her chest. Looking at her, she didn't make a sound.

“You have time so much it cannot be measured. And you, bitch, tell me that it’s of utmost price to you.” Changing my intonation on the last sentence, I took a step closer to her, causing Celestia to put her foot on the ground and take a step back. “You've left your own sister for a recourse that isn't worth a dime to us.”

“Luna, what's with all the aggressions lately?!” Having regained her equilibrium, Celestia went on the attack. “You've been acting so bellicose lately, like you're not yourself! What happened?”

“You happened.” We said.

We?

I laid back on the bed, dangling my head from it, and looked at the bloody knife and the small puddle of my own blood beside the bed. I carved the number five into my right leg. Why five? I don't know. Just because.

I don't know what I’m doing anymore. Am I doing this of my own free will? Maybe.

A small drop ran down the silver shoe and stopped at its end. As it dripped, I heard the distinctive sound of liquid.

“Luna, do you understand that you are going insane?” Nightmare asked me. Yes, I created a name for my own illness. From nothing to do. Sometimes she even does something funny.

“Oh yes? And I thought I was seeing a real creature.” I said tiredly.

“I’m not even about myself. I’m about you cutting yourself.”

“It’s... To feel the blood turning to ice.”

“Soon you will not have blood to turn to ice, bandage yourself.”

“For what? I’ll bleed out, life is...”

“Luna!” Nightmare screamed, standing upside down in my eyes. Sighing with tiredness, I found some rag in the living room and put it around my wound. Going for professional care didn't have meaning anyway.

“The only one who takes care of me is my own mental disease.”

“Is it, though?” Nightmare asked, getting closer to me. “Maybe I can help you?”

“What can you help me with?” I chuckled. “To lose even more bits of self-control?”

“Luna, you want to become needed so that your subjects will want to see you in charge. I, as a cold strategist, can help you.”

I struck her in the chest.

“I don't need your advice, shut your face. I don't need subjects, I don't need the throne - I need my sister that I lost, and in this you clearly won't be of much use.”

Nightmare almost reared up.

“You're rejecting the help that would have made me gone! The illness you've put yourself in is trying to help you, and you're only kicking it.”

“Shut up.”

With those words, I went back to the bedroom and curled up. I wanted to sleep.

As I fell asleep, I had the same dream I've been having for the past month: absolute nothing. I'm sitting in the middle of nowhere, just looking up. Or down. It’s all the same here. And I find some satisfaction in that. You do nothing, want nothing, think nothing - just you and the emptiness alone, quiet and calm.

And then comes the longing. Longing for the old house, for the old days, for the parents.

The sister.

And a mad desire to scream at the top of your lungs for someone to just come near. But you yell, you scream, you almost tear your own throat out. But no one comes, because no one hears. Or they don't want to hear. I used to suspect the latter.

And then the soundless crying in my dreams, traces of which I find on my pillows in reality. The darkness becomes a blur, and I wake up staring at my ceiling.

And my whole life is now a simple observation. Watching the Sun go away in the evening, watching the darkness at night, watching the Moon go away in the early morning. The affairs of state were no longer my concern - Celestia has decided to take everything into her own hooves in order to speed up the process of governance. I've already figured that out. You can praise Celestia all you want for the state's transformation, but I'll never forgive her for the way she treated me. We've been through everything there is to go through, and she...

Not even about her...

When I awoke, I received a message from the head of my guard that two corpses have been discovered in a village not far from our castle. A mare and a filly have been brutally murdered in the night.

I, out of nothing to do, decided to ask permission from my dearest relative to investigate, so I can stretch my body and not become a bait.

Ha, rhyme...

Celestia fought back as best she could, reading into some sort of regulation, but I was able to negotiate with her using my incredible diplomatic skills.

Lying.

“Mistress, are you sure in your decision? I will not stay sane if anything happens to you.”

“Don't worry.” was my brief response to the Commander of the Guards who was bowing low to me. “I’ll be back in no time.”

After bowing once more, the commander left, leaving me alone on the balcony.

Alone, of course, in quotation marks.

“If you kick the bucket you will not find any fame, Luna.” Nightmare said to me standing nearby.

“You still haven't figured out that I don't need this at bloody all.” I said with my ordinary voice. “But okay, it’s too early for you to think.”

“With your sister, too.”

I turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

“Am I on some counting of hers? If I remember correctly, I am not acquainted with her personally for already a long time.”

I chuckled. Nightmare too.

“Don't worry, there will be no need to shortly.”

The place of action was a tiny village called Ponyville. With only a couple dozen houses, it already struck me as odd: building a village so far away from any major water source...

The elder told me a couple of interesting details: the mare had a husband who had disappeared after the murder, and the local guardsponies have seen a strange creature with dark hair all over its body and a horn, but they couldn't catch it because of poor visibility.

Not much was known about the husband, but he had never shown any aggression and was reportedly quite spineless.

Still waters run deep.

I went to the murder scene. The guards were a combined squad of ten, playing cards freely. As I approached - quite loudly - they dropped everything and began to imitate looking for the culprit again.

“Such amateurs...” Nightmare muttered.

“Not everyone is good at soldiering.” I slurred shortly. The guards only gave me a puzzled look.

The place was a clearing near a small lake with a single tree. The bodies have been found under its crown.

Two of the bodies, despite the reports of “extreme cruelty,” have been killed in a rather civilized manner, if you may say so.

Both had their throats slit so they couldn't scream, apparently. It was obvious that they didn't try to fight back: no abrasions, no signs of struggle, even their fur was quite well-groomed, except for the dirt and water marks.

“What do you think?” Nightmare asked, looking at me.

“Father killed all his family because of?..” I asked, answering with a gaze at her. Nightmare chuckled and looked at the bodies.

“I can't see reasons, Luna, it's just too foolish! What’s the point?!” Nightmare kicked the ground with her leg. Nothing happened.

“Maybe the father was kidnapped, and the family was left due to uselessness.”

I looked around and found a small sharpened stone on the shore of the lake. It had a magical imprint on it.

The head of the guard saluted me as I approached him.

“Name.”

“Night Crawler.” Said the black Pegasus in golden armor. Charactonym.

“And very interesting, considering his wings behind...” Nightmare said, examining him from all sides. He's not a statue, dammit.

Nightmare laughed.

“What was the father?” I finally asked the question.

“Earth pony, smith.”

Hm.

“And where did you find the unknown?”

“The possible offender?” The officer asked again.

“Uh-huh.”

He walked toward the lake and showed me a forested slope in the distance.

“There are a few dozens of ridges with apple trees, I and a few from the First recon went there. In the darkness we saw a glimmer of something green and moving, so we tried to grab him, but he was gone! We searched until morning and never found him.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.”

“Semper fi.” He saluted as I left, pondering for options.

Changeling. Somehow he infiltrated the inside, and then something must have happened. Maybe he was discovered.

The rain was beating down on my head. The rain was beating down on my back. It’s raining like hell.

Nightmare advanced through the trees while I walked on the ground, clinging to the grass like a predator. I know he's here.

I can smell you.

Huh?

Ah, Nightmare... I'm starting to get lost between our thoughts. It's like I'm starting to lose control.

When I reached some stunted tree, I found an arrow stuck in it at the base of the tip. Apparently, they used armor-piercing right away. Pretty smart decision.

When I put out the tip, I found traces of blood on it. He must have been wounded. The changeling couldn't have gotten far with the wound. Too bad the blood trail was blurred by the rain. But okay. I'll get you through the mud and water, bastard.

After another kilometer or two, I began to think I've lost the trace. Nightmare went down to me and nodded.

We’ve lost it.

I turned away from her and went the other way, where after a couple hundred meters I found a campfire. Someone was trying to make a fire near the trunk of a large apple tree, apparently covering it from the rain with the tree's crown. As I approached it, I looked around: nothing. Just coals burning out under the steady pounding of the rain.

While looking at this, I didn't notice that I was nailed to the ground.

The changeling tried to bite my throat with his teeth, but I stopped his neck with my foot.

For the first time in my life I regretted that I didn't exercise at least amateurishly, because my strength was clearly failing me.

Somewhere in the periphery of my consciousness I could hear my own screams, but I couldn't do anything. I was only trying to get him off of me.

One last tug to my neck and everything went dark.

I woke up in an incredibly good mood. I've probably never felt this good before. I wanted to get up and start humming something cheerful to myself.

As I stood up from the ground, I looked around: I was still in the same beautiful apple orchard, but this time the Sun was shining brightly, warming my fur. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of a sunny summer day. After standing like that for a minute, I opened my eyes with pleasure. Then I returned to my normal state.

In front of me laid the mutilated corpse of a changeling, his blood pooling beneath him. I crouched down beside him and looked at my hooves. Full of blood, they were a horror of mud, blood, and grass.

“Like it?” Said Nightmare, appearing out of nowhere. “I somehow managed to take over the body. And, well...”

She circled the decomposing corpse with her hoof with the most honest smile I've ever seen.

“Like to kill?” I asked, moving my gaze back to the body.

“You dreamed of it yourself. I just carried it out.” She said, getting one of her front legs behind the other.

“Fairly said.”

I couldn't say anything.

“He tried to resist, but didn't really manage to and was killed swiftly.” Nightmare said, examining the body. “Do you think I should have chopped his head off?”

“You should not have. You already put his ribs into his lungs.”

“It is an accident.” Nightmare giggled. “Just an accident...”

I turned around and went away. Body’ll get eaten.

On the way, I pondered how I could give up control to Nightmare again. I woke up in a good mood, full of energy and hope, as if the spirit of the young filly who just ascended the throne with her sister returned to me. I woke up so rested... It was like being born a second time. I wanted to dance and sing, to help everyone in the world and not give a damn about anything else. My dear Celestia, it’s been so long since I’ve had a break...

I saw the Pegasus in the armor when I returned to Ponyville. He ran up to me with a look full of concern in his eyes.

“Your Highness, are you okay? You have blood all over your body...”

Staring at the ground, I did indeed find it. I've forgotten about it on the way...

“Don't worry, everything is normal, Lieutenant. You have nothing to worry about.”

I smiled genuinely at him, looking into his tired eyes.

“Okay, Princess...”

I was about to unfold my wings, but the Lieutenant asked a question again:

“What about the changeling?”

Someone smiled mischievously for me.

“He is gone now.”

I flew home without looking back.

I sat under a tree in the royal garden, leaning against the trunk of the tree. The sunset was warming me with its last rays. Warm, quiet and good. It has been a week now.

I've found out that giving Nightmare control over the body has its benefits, including improved state of mind. I don't know how it works, but somehow we don't think about it.

Nightmare climbed down from the crown of the tree.

“Didn't think to go to Celestia?” She said with a small grin. “You're sitting here all alone.”

I smiled.

“Yeah, I should. Thanks for the reminder.”

Nightmare watched the sunset with a slight squint.

“You are always welcome.”

I got to my feet and walked slowly through the garden, enjoying the trees. The tall oaks were calling to me, beckoning me to lie down more, but I just kept walking.

Once inside, I smiled at the familiar black armored Pegasus walking beside me. His clumsy attempt at a salute was met with nothing more than a giggle and a wink. I headed in the other direction, leaving the Lieutenant alone without a word.

Nightmare, appearing on my right, was surprised, to say the least.

“And now more about it, please?!”

I smiled slyly and waved my tail.

“You know, when you stop surviving and start living, then you even start to think about such simples things as goals for the future, maybe, love...”

“Yeah, of course...” Nightmare gave a whistle.

Knocking on the door and entering after getting permission, I saw Celestia writing something again with a quill at a table filled with papers. Without looking away, she said,

“Hi, Lu, what’s up?”

“Everything's good. How are you?”

“I’m writing, and do more of it, but still won't make it.” She said, dipping the quill into an inkwell. “I’m tired of writing.”

“Happens sometimes. Maybe I can help?”

Celestia sighed.

“Will you make it?” She nodded at a pair of stacks of papers on her desk.

“Easily.” I said, giving them a swift glance.

I heard a crunch.

“What can you do.” Celestia said with a sigh. “Every quill is good for nothing... Not a single one left...”

An idea immediately came to me; I opened my wing and plucked out my feather, taking it in telekinesis.

“Take it, my poor one.” I put it on the table.

Celestia shook her head.

“Lu, you know that I could've taken quills out of storage or somewhere else.”

I snuggled up to her.

“It will be more comfortable this way. At least it won't break in five minutes.”

For the first time in months, I saw a fair Celestia. Tired, exhausted, killed by sleepless nights, the mare looked up at me with a smile.

“Thanks, Lu. Thank you a lot...”

I just smiled in answer.

“Good night, Tia.”

“Good night, Lu.”

With one last hug, I began to move towards the exit.

“Tia, if you will need help - call me, and more.”

Celestia brought her hoof up to her chin and pondered, raising her head to the ceiling.

“You know, I’ll take a day off tomorrow. Don't mind a walk tomorrow?”

I smiled past my ears.

“Just let me know, I won't even sleep today.”

My sister chuckled.

“See you, Lu.”

“See you.”

As I closed the door, I saw Nightmare. I couldn't say that her face expressed any emotion, but as a part of the body and soul, I sensed that something was wrong.

“Pretty... Strange. You wanted to kill her.”

“I’m out of this state, Nightmare. Don't worry, everything will be okay.”

“Mhm...”

She hid her face.

“Something is wrong?” I asked as I approached her.

“Everything's normal.” She said a bit abruptly. “Let’s go, we got a celestial body to raise.”

Apparently, she was eager to regain control of the body. What was she doing? From what I understand, she was just flying around the country. At least I haven't woken up covered in blood or somewhere far away. That suited me just fine.

Having fulfilled my obligation to change the stars, I prepared to give the body to Nightmare.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Ready.” She answered.

Here we go.

Where am I, where’s everyone? Why is it so cold here? Celestia? Nightmare? Anypony?

ANYONE? WHERE ARE YOU?

Nightmare had thought out the plan extremely carefully. She had thought that she would have more time, that it would be possible to put Luna before the fait accompli, but recent events have forced her to act more quickly. Much quicker. She felt her existence threatened, and a cornered animal is capable of many things.

Especially mistakes.

Then it went on as it is known: rise, fall, and fade into oblivion. Only Luna remained. And a whole millennium to think about her mistakes in complete silence, just as she wanted.

I stood in front of a swaying body, previously white. It swayed to the beat of my heart, pouring its blood over me. The wings hung down to the floor like rags, dipping themselves in the crimson liquid. The stomach was open, scattered insides lying on the floor everywhere. Trying to lift my gaze to the face, I saw nothing. Just someone's shadow.

When I woke up, I sighed deeply, pushing the dream somewhere in the far corner of my mind and trying to forget it as quickly as possible.

It has been a month since I've been back... home? It's a bit of a stretch to call it home, because everything has changed completely. Now I am a blank slate, and I need to be written with new norms that ponies invented a thousand years later. Technology, speech style, new writing... I hate new writing. It's so... lifeless. Sterile.

Climbing out of the sheets, I glanced out the window. Night was putting everyone around asleep as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. A glance at the clock - 2:15.

I decided to check on Celestia. Quietly exiting the chambers, I somehow felt my way through the new corridors of the castle that I have barely memorized. Finding the right door, I opened it with a creak. Celestia's new décor certainly made me wonder, but that was beside the point.

I heard the bed sag.

“Who's there?..” Celestia asked sleepily through the wall.

“It’s me, Tia, me...” I said quietly as I went into her bedroom. She was lying on her side, the blanket hiding only her lower body. She was wiping her eyes with her hooves, trying to regain consciousness.

“A, Lu... What's going on? What happened?”

“Nothing, really...”

Celestia carefully stood up and walked over to me, looking into my eyes.

“I already see that something is off. Do tell.”

She smiled, trying to nudge me. I tried to look away, but she brought my face back with her hoof.

“Come on, Lu.” She started to stroke my cheek.

“I... I’ve had a nightmare...”

Celestia rolled her eyes and smiled even wider.

“My little filly, I can make you sleep with a cup of tea.”

“Can I do it with you?”

Celestia only nodded her head.

We tucked in together. She hugged me from behind, covered me with her wing and crossed our legs.

“Good night, Lu.”

“Good night, Tia.”

Her warm and lively body warmed me better than any blanket. Her warm and lively breath soothed me better than any tea.

On the edge of consciousness, being almost asleep, I asked:

“Tia?”

“M?” She answered sleepily.

“You have a very beautiful chest. Don't let anyone foil it.”

“Okay, Lu. Okay...”

We fell asleep together to the sound of singing from the garden.

[1] Carolina - a collection of laws of early modern times, characterized by a particular cruelty of punishment, most often - the death penalty in its various forms.

Author's Note

I just realized something. As I was translating this story, one thing struck me: I study law, and have such things as the history of the law and the state and the theory of the law and state. And during the Medieval times (where most of the story takes place in), sentence, "My sister abandoned me in favor of the state" sounds ridiculous, as in the Medieval times the state is the monarch, Equestria is Celestia, so it sounds like, "My sister abandoned me in favor of herself".
Quite interesting...