Dan vs Discord

A man groaned while getting out of bed, he was wearing a black shirt that read "jerk" on it with white and blue striped boxers.

"Man, I hate everything." The man, named Dan, got out of bed and slipped on a cupcake. "AAAHHHH!" He then ran into a wall. "Stupid sweets." He muttered to himself. "They never did any good for anybody." He started to put his clothes on, blue pants and black shoes and went outside. As always, Dan hated the morning sunlight. Shielding his eyes, he headed for his car. He opened the door and was met with a surprise, there was an entire ocean in his car, filled with fish. Of course, that got him angry. "HEY! WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD SET UP RESIDENTS IN MY CAR?!" A tentacle from an octopus then wrapped around his waist. "...Uh oh." He was then pulled in.

A few moments later, he came out with bite marks and some fish. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!" He yelled back into the water. After that, a shark was headed his way, jaws wide open. "AAAHHH!" He closed the car door and felt the impact of the shark. Off in the distance, Dan saw pigs and pie flying. "What in the name of all the is holy is going on?!"

"I'm the one that's going on dear boy." A voice said while the sky changed color

"WHO'S THERE?!"

"Just me Dan." A dragon like entity appeared in front of him. "Hi there."

"WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!"

"If you must know, I'm Discord. I also know your name because it's my job to know."

"What are you, some kind of failed scientist experiment?!"

"I'm a draconequus, it's..."

"I DON'T CARE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAR?!"

"Oh, just making chaos. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do." He disappeared.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE AND FIX MY CAR!!" He lifted his fists in the air. "DISCORD!"

DAN

VS

DISCORD

Dan got his phone and punched in his friends number." Pick up the phone, pick up the phone, pick up the phone!" It said to leave a message. "HIS PHONE IS OFF! Chris, get over here as soon as you get this message we have an emergency! Also it's Dan, if you ever turn your phone off again, I'll strangle you!" He put his phone away. "Now time to get a sub."

One Hour later

"Get down from there you sandwich!" Dan yelled at a now flying sandwich. There was a knock at the door.

"Hey Dan, what's new-aAAAAHH!" A man named Chris barely ducked under Dans baseball bat. "What was that for?!"

"Trying to get my sub!" He was swinging the bat like a maniac. He finally hit it, at the cost of destroying it. "Well there goes lunch."

"Was that a flying sandwich?"

"No time to explain. Where were you?"

"At the movies."

"You went to the movies without me?!"

"Well...yeah."

"Why would you do such a thing?!"

"Because the last time we brought you to the movies, we were all kicked out."

"It was a crappy movie!"

"That doesn't mean you have to threaten the manager there!"

"Forget about the argument! Get in your car, we'er going to Ninja Daves to form a plan."

"Can't we use your car?"

"NO! Now get to your car, now!"

Fifteen minutes later

"...and that's what happened." Dan finished his explanation.

"You expect me to believe that happened?"

"No, but I will make him pay! One way or another!" The engine of the car suddenly blew up.

"Oh man, not my car!" Chris got out. " *sigh* Well, the engine's gone."

"Not gone, missing. There's a difference." A third voice said.

"DISCORD!" Dan yelled, infuriated. He got out of the car and looked around for him.

"Behind you." Discord said. Dan turned around. Discord was on top of the car with some sand, a beach chair and umbrella. He was also wearing sunglasses.

"Wow Dan, you were telling the truth." Chris said.

"Since when have I ever lied?" He asked Chris. He then directed his attention to Discord, only to be hit in the face with pie.

"HAHAHAHA! Oh, chaos is such a wonderful thing. Oh, and Chris, here is some for your troubles." Discord snapped his fingers and pie appeared next to Chris.

"Oooooohhh, pie!" He was about to take a bite until the pie opened up. Revealing massive rows of teeth. It bit down on Chris head. He started to scream and run around in circles, flailing his arms.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This stuff never gets old! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He began to laugh up a storm, literally. The clouds where pink and it started to rain...

"Chocolate milk?" Dan asked, tasting it. Discord wiped a tear from his face from laughing.

"I need to go now, so you two enjoy yourself. Oh, and tell you buddy to watch out for what's falling." He disappeared, along with the man eating pie. Giving Chris a break.

"Oh...thank goodness, I...I thought I was going to die there." He said, he was then hit in the head by his car engine. Making him pass out.

" *sigh* Chris why don't you have a better skull?"

Dan kicked open the door of Chris house and dragged him in.

"Jeez Chris, you couldn't think to loose a few pounds?" Dan asked the unconscious corps.

"Hey Dan, what are you doing here? CHRIS!" A female yelled.

"Finally Elise, your here, now help me pick Chris up!" Elise picked Chris by the legs. They carried him to the couch and set him down, well Elise did, Dan just dropped him.

"Dan what happened to him?!"

"He was knocked out by an engine. To be more specific, his car engine."

"And who was he hit by it?"

"Discord made it fall out of the sky, I don't know!"

"Yeah right...why are you covered in chocolate?"

"It's raining chocolate milk out side."

" *sigh* You better have a good explanation for this Dan!"