but gods, never your brain
"Please?"
Ocellus slammed her book down, a headache building in the space between her comically large eyes.
She was unsurprised. Statistically speaking, a headache of hers was Gallus induced at least 75% of the time.
"No," Ocellus repeated, for what could've been the thousandth time in the last ten minutes.
Gallus put on his S-tier griffon pout and adopted the saddest, wettest, kitten-in-a-cardboard-box eyes. He dropped to his knees and clasped his talons together.
"I come to you not only as a friend, but as a man in love," he tried, clearly choking out the L word due to a lack of use.
Absolutely adorable. She ignored that and kept her face neutral, until she found the irony in the scene before her.
The changeling smirked. "Normally it's a dragon begging on her hands and knees, which tends to be pretty effective, but..."
Gallus dropped his talons. "You're shameless,"
She flicked his head with the edge of her hoof. "Oh, like you're such a saint, Mr. Praise Kink."
Gallus stiffened. "I do not have—"
Ocellus trailed her hoof to the edge of his chin and held his eye contact. "Good boy."
His tail swished helplessly on the floor, and a low rumble escaped his chest, emotionally repressed catboy instincts betraying him.
She raised a brow.
"Hate you," he murmured. (He didn't lean away as she rubbed the fur along his jaw.)
Ocellus dropped her hoof. "I know."
Gallus crossed his arms and turned his back to the changeling, leaning against the base of the bed that Ocellus lay on top of.
"A kind-hearted, generous, loyal, integrity-having, uh," he ticked off the elements of harmony on his claws. "Hilarious and truly MAGICAL friend would use their changeling abilities to help me!"
"The fact that it's our third semester here, you literally represent an element and still can't list them off the top of your head without pause is pitiful."
Smolder then entered the dorm room loudly, slamming the door and stomping up to the pair. Gallus greeted her warmly.
"Hey, Smolder. Who bit you in the ass and called you Dragon Lord Torch?"
Ocellus simply grinned in her friend's direction, which managed to make a dent in the infuriated armor that Smolder had apparently decided to wear today.
She stopped a few feet short of Gallus. She stared at him expectantly.
Gallus rolled his eyes and immediately moved over to the dragon, picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder. He then began to fly in circles around the dorm room as she decompressed. The conversation carried on as though she wasn't even there.
"Gallus, I am not going to mind control Silverstream so that she goes on a date with you."
"Don't say it like that," he chided, rubbing Smolder's scales as she tried to catch his wing feathers in her maw. (Not out of agitation, but because Gallus didn't mind.) "Woah, someone's bitey today, huh?"
She exhaled smoke from her nostrils in reply.
Ocellus took note of Smolder's obvious overstimulated state and lowered her voice ever so slightly. "It's effectively what you're asking me to do. My abilities don't exactly come in moderation."
"I'm just asking you to nudge her in the right direction," Gallus said, squeezing Smolder tightly as she lightly clawed at his back. Enough for a couple scratches, but not enough to draw blood.
Eventually she stopped her motions. "Put me down now."
Nonverbal spout having ended, Smolder now looked more attentive. The griffon dropped her down on the bed next to Ocellus and sat himself on the opposite side of the changeling, sitting upright and allowing his paws to dangle off the edge.
"Welcome back."
"Sorry."
"Don't be," Gallus and Ocellus said in unison.
The School of Friendship was overwhelming, especially when so vastly different from a creature's homeland.
Smolder blushed and thanked Celestia it wasn't visible. "Catch me up."
"Gallus wants to ask out Silverstream," Ocellus said.
"It's about time," Smolder replied, leaning across Ocellus' chitin to slap his back on the other side of her.
"Ow."
Their entire friend group had heavily anticipated something to happen between the pair of griffs since Gallus' attraction to Silverstream was revealed to be reciprocated last semester.
Unfortunately, any talks of making moves seemed to come to a halt, and the only thing that came of that conversation was Gallus accepting that he was being forced to enter nobility status at some point in the next ten years.
In the meantime, he'd been trying to ease his way out of the 'arranged marriage with my friend' zone, and had been failing miserably.
"But he wants me to, and I quote, 'magically persuade her' into saying yes to him."
The dragon's smile dropped. She leaned back across and slapped him in the head this time.
"Ow!"
"Dude, seriously?"
Gallus raked his claws down his face. "I can't just ask her out!"
"Right, cause this is a much better alternative," Ocellus deadpanned.
"This way, I don't have to risk rejection."
"Why would she reject you? You already know she likes you," Smolder added, face twisting in confusion.
"No, I don't. I know she thinks I'm attractive, not that she likes me. Just like how I think Sandbar's attractive but I'm not actually dating Sandbar."
The dragon visibly blanched at this. "You're not dating Sandbar?"
"What?"
Ocellus burst into laughter.
"Are you joking?"
Gallus' voice had shot up an octave. "Why would you think I'm dating Sandbar?"
The changeling thought she might pass out as she practically cried into Smolder's tail.
"Does everyone think I'm dating Sandbar? Or is it just you? Hello? Smolder?"
As if summoned by a spell, the scent of seaweed and tea and dahlias wafted through the air. Sandbar opened the door and dropped a stack of books he had in his teeth on the ground. "Hey guys, what's up?"
Smolder's confusion persisted as Sandbar retrieved a pouch that showcased a hoof stitched cartoony griffon on it and tossed it to Gallus, who caught it effortlessly. Nevermind that there were green and blue hearts surrounding the griff on the pouch.
"Special brownie for my favorite griffon," the pony grinned, grabbing a comic and settling himself in next to Gallus.
His wing instinctively shot out around Sandbar and pulled him closer. Gallus almost forgot Smolder and Ocellus were there.
They made eye contact. They looked at him. He looked at them, then at Sandbar, then down at the floor.
"Hey man, are we dating?"
Sandbar took his eyes off his page and blinked really, really hard. "Is this a game? I love games."
"No, buddy, I'm actually asking."
He blinked again. "Not trivia?"
"No. Not trivia."
Sandbar squinted. Sweet Idol of Boreas, Gallus wanted to kiss him so fucking bad.
"Oh. I mean. Yeah. I'd say we are, yeah." He gestured vaguely to the pseudo-cuddle position they were in. "Was that not clear?"
"See!"
Gallus flushed. "Oh. Since when?"
Sandbar tilted his head. "Like, three months on Saturday. Did you actually not know we were dating?"
"Um."
"We've celebrated our anniversary twice?"
"I just thought you randomly got really gifty once a month. Like menstruation but with presents."
Smolder frowned.
Sandbar smacked his head with his hoof, sensing her struggle at being too far away to do so with Ocellus still giggling into her scales.
"Ow!"
"Thank you."
"No prob."
"Well on the bright side, you've got a boyfriend out of this," Ocellus smiled, wiping her tears from her eyes. She'd known Gallus and Sandbar were dating. She'd also known Gallus had no idea. She'd been waiting for this for forever.
Gallus groaned. "Great, so I can accidentally date Sandbar for almost three months, but I can't ask Silverstream out."
He stiffened suddenly. "Oh, shit. Sandbar, is that like, okay with you, or—"
"We're in the polyamory capital of the world. As long as you don't decide she's your favorite, we're good."
"Hah, like it's a competition."
Sandbar pressed himself against Gallus and went back to his comic.
"You seriously just realized you're dating," Smolder reiterated, still in disbelief.
"I love him for who he is, not his brains," Sandbar said, flipping to the next page.
"This is why I need your help, Celly. I'm awful at this."
"Oh, I don't doubt that you're a train wreck," Ocellus smiled. "I'm still not mind controlling Silverstream, though."
Sandbar looked up. "You asked her to mind control Silverstream?"
"Nudge in the right direction," Gallus muttered weakly.
"Why don't you just ask her out?"
"THANK YOU," Smolder and Ocellus said in unison.
"It's not that simple! What if I do something weird and give her the ick?"
"The ick is not a real thing."
"Yes it is," Ocellus jumped in. "Sometimes there's an immediate dip in attraction when a creature does something weird. Tastes like a ton of salt spilling into cake batter."
"If you don't like someone at their most embarrassing, then you shouldn't be with them," Sandbar shrugged. "I still like Gallus, and he's constantly embarrassing himself. Boyfailure of the year, even."
"It's an honor." He rolled his eyes.
"Gallus, listen to me," Ocellus said. "There is no 'perfect' way to ask out Silverstream. Either she says yes, or she says no in the nicest way possible."
"Okay hear me out," Gallus said, pressing his talons together in Ocellus' direction. "Anxiety."
"Brownie," Sandbar reminded.
"As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I'm not asking Silverstream out while I'm stoned."
"But you're so fun when you're stoned!"
"You really are."
"At least thirty percent more likable."
"Thanks, guys," the griffon spat, rubbing his temples in circular motions. "I feel like I need a Yona pep talk."
Every creature visibly deflated like wives remembering their loved one was at war.
She wasn't, but her friendship quest with Spike in the Crystal Empire was taking way too long. It'd been, like, 24 whole hours without anything being destroyed. It felt illegal, almost.
Blue flame enveloped the left side of the bed. Everyone flinched back, except Smolder.
Suddenly, Yona, or rather, Ocellus in Yona cosplay, sat before them.
Ocellus-who-looked-like-Yona-right-now rolled off the bed, and cleared her throat. "Griffon need to man the fuck up. Nothing to be scared of."
Gallus made an 'ehhh' noise. Sandbar and Smolder both smacked him in the head.
"OW!"
The newly transformed Yak rolled her eyes and knocked Gallus' lamp off the desk, watching its base shatter. "Griffon is being insufferable."
"There you go. Alright, I think I'm ready."
"Ready for what?"
Gallus startled at the sugary sweet voice.
Silverstream waltzed in, clearly just having finished a shift at Sugar Cube Corner. Her hair was a mess, her wings were covered in edible glitter, and it seemed she was fighting to keep her eyes open.
She looked absolutely beautiful.
"Uhhh."
"Oh, hey Yona! You're back already?"
Ocellus shook her head and assumed her normal form. "Sorry."
Silverstream waved it off, though visibly disappointed. "If I could turn into Yona whenever I wanted to, I totally would," she smiled. Her eyes met the broken glass on the floor. "Wow, you really got into character!"
Gallus coughed into his talon. "Hey, Silver, can we talk outside?"
"Sure! Unless you're gonna take me outside and murder me. Then no!"
"I—what?"
"The killer is always out to get you. Sometimes the killer is your closest friend."
"Are you quoting Windy Wills, right now? The pegasus with the talk show?"
"Who?"
Gallus sighed. He wanted to kiss her so fucking bad.
The two griffs exited the room, leaving Smolder, Ocellus, and Sandbar to talk.
"Do you think he's gonna chicken out?"
"Smolder, have some faith."
"So you think he's gonna do it?"
"Oh, no. I'm only saying that because one of us has to believe in him, and it's not me."
"Sandbar," Ocellus gasped, scandalized. "I'm shocked."
"You're not."
"You're right, I'm not," she grinned.
"How'd he manage to bag you so easily, anyway," Smolder asked.
Sandbar shrugged. "I asked if he needed therapy one time when he was going on about his childhood, and we just made out for like four hours after that."
"Wow. I'm not surprised, but, wow."
A very loud squeal erupted from behind the door, and then a hard THUD.
Ocellus covered her mouth with her hoof. Sandbar winced. Smolder's eyes widened.
Worried that Gallus may have done something so stupid that he got himself knocked out by someone with hippogriff Armed Forces level defense training, Ocellus opened the door.
Silverstream and Gallus tumbled back into the room, Silverstream squeezing him in a tight embrace.
"GUYS, HE FINALLY ASKED ME OUT!"
"We can see that, you little boa constrictor," Smolder snorted. "Did you want to let him breathe, though?"
"Oh, right." Silverstream released her hold on her admirer. "Sorry."
Gallus gulped in air. "All good," he croaked.
"I knew you had it in you," Sandbar smiled. He ignored Smolder and Ocellus' judgmental stares.
"This is awesome! I thought it was gonna take him at least another year."
"You knew?"
Silverstream smiled, and her eyes shined like diamonds. "Of course I knew. Everyone knew. Just like how everyone knows you and Sandbar are dating."
"Did everyone know except me?"
"Isn't he so funny?"
"Extremely. Heart, not brains," Silverstream nodded as she turned her attention to the seafoam pony.
They both laughed and ignored the emotional mess of blue feathers on the floor. "You're cool with this, right? I can beat him up right now if you're not."
"I can share. Just, you know, be okay with second place," he smirked.
"You sound really confident that you're his favorite."
"I am."
Silverstream's grin grew saccharine. "We'll see."
A staring contest ensued, and Gallus felt the temperature in the room rise.
"Bad time to mention that you guys fighting over me is kind of a turn-on?"
"Shameless," Ocellus muttered to herself.
"If you guys are gonna have a threesome, can we get a signal or something," Smolder interjected, yawning. "I don't wanna be here for that."
Sandbar, Silverstream, and Gallus all knocked on the nearest surface twice.
Smolder collected Ocellus in her arms, and swiftly bolted out of the room, hearing the lock click behind them.
The dragon placed Ocellus on the ground gingerly. "Why didn't you just tell Gallus you knew Silverstream liked him back? I mean, it was obvious, but you're the only one of us who could actually confirm."
"It'd be a breach of her privacy. It's super unethical to interfere."
Smolder's muzzle pulled into a thin, skeptical line.
"It's also way more fun this way."
"There she is," Smolder grinned, throwing her arm around the changeling.
A loud SMASH sounded from downstairs.
"Oh, sick! Yona's home!"
"Race you to tell her the news?"
Smolder's grin widened impossibly as she readied her wings.
Ocellus grinned back, already flying down the staircase.
Author's Note
i drafted a sequel to dont bet 3 years ago and abandoned it because i absolutely hated how it read. this is my attempt at remedying that. feel free to leave a comment, i love reading them.
also super sorry to yona fans. she's there in spirit.
