My year at Ponyville High

Chapters

Blank Flank
Hearts Desires
Forgiveness
Thinking
Life decisions
Realisations and Reality
Hurting
Choices

Blank Flank

So this was it? My last year of high school was starting today and I was packed and ready to start a-fresh at my new school in Ponyville. I sighed as I poured my milk and oats into the bowl.

“I can’t believe I have made it this far and still…” I looked down toward my blank flank, “Still you refuse to appear.”

After finishing breakfast I washed my bowl then made my way to the bath room. I stood in front of the mirror for several moments before I snapped out of my daze and began brushing my teeth. I examined my mane as I did so, my mane was made up of a bright purple and a dim electric pink, and my coat was so light blue it was almost white, only the keenest of eyes could pick up on it. I loved to style my mane, I could handle just about any insult a pony could throw at me, but they say one thing about my mane and I would freak, even though I hated the girly colours (DAMN YOU GENETICS!), it was still nice. I spat the remnants of toothpaste out and wiped my face. I was ready.

I was walking along the path to Ponyville high and already I was getting strange looks from the other fillies and colts. Have they never seen a unicorn before? Stupid question because I knew what was on every ponies mind but hey! If I don’t think about it maybe it won’t happen… just this once? I reached the school doors and gulped rather loudly as I could hear the whispers and the eyes on my flank increasing as I inched closer and closer to the entrance to the school. I shut my eyes tight and walked through the invisible barrier, out of the safe zone and into what may… or may not? Be my new hell.

Almost instantly my hopes were shattered as I heard one filly laugh out loud and snort in my general direction, I started to walk down the hall to hopefully find my locker. I could hear the fillies laugh get louder and louder and as I turned to glance at her I saw she was right behind me.

She wore a tiara in her nice and neat mane which consisted of purple and white, she was an earth pony so I wouldn’t need to fear her, “Look Silver spoon,” she said gesturing to her Silver filly friend who was giggling like a foal “Looks like someone is a late bloomer!”

“Yeah! Shouldn’t you have like, gotten your cutie mark,” Silver spoon pondered for a moment, “Like 10 years ago?!” she then snorted along with her filly friend.

At this point even though the fillies presented no threat, it still didn’t stop me from shrinking down, after all they were hitting me in a soft spot, the very spot as to why for almost 10 years I have had to change from school to school because little bitches like these two bullied me mercilessly. I sighed and just decided this was the last year I would have to put up with this crap, so I might as well just roll over and take it.

“Good one Silver!” said the filly with a tiara as she bumped rumps with Silver spoon.

“Thanks Diamond Tiara!” she said as she narrowed her eyes at me.

I dared to let a chuckle peep.

“What was that?” Silver spoon asked sarcastically as she flared her chest out and approached me, looking me dead in the eye, “You find something funny blank flank?” she said getting up close and personal in my face, our snouts almost touching.

I PassionBerry am no chump and never backed down from a fight, even when I had done nothing wrong. I. Never. Back. Down. I stood on all fours and looked her right back in the eye, “Ya know… I have a name.”

Silver Spoon flinched at my sudden braveness, even I was caught back but I wasn’t about to roll over just yet, I may not be able to handle verbal abuse, but when somepony wants to try and fight me I am more than willing to stand up for myself. Most of the other pony students were watching in awe as I stood up against what I assumed was the school bullies.

“Really? What is it then?” she paused and then drew out the next words long and slow so she knew I wouldn’t mistake what she said for anything else “Blank. Flank.”

I gritted my teeth, she was trying to push me so I would be first to make the move. Probably so she could squirm her way out of the trouble we will get in by calling it “self-defence”. I started to raise my hoof when the bell rang.

Silver Spoon accidently let a sigh of relief slip from her lips. I smirked at her and her eyes darted left and right before she rushed off to her filly friend who had taken off to go to class. She turned and winked at me when she thought no one was looking.

“That was… weird.” I said out loud. Why would she be pushing me to fight one minute then winking at me the next? I shook it off as maybe there was somepony behind me at the time?

Soon realising my time pondering was going to make me late! And on my first day at a new school nonetheless! I quickly ran to my first class. Arriving only just in time, although nearly all the seats had been taken except… oh just my luck, I sat at the desk in the centre of the front row in the class… I was now out for all to see and there was no avoiding the fate in which my flank (who had brought this upon itself for being too sexy for a cutey mark… just kidding… I think) would now have with all eyes upon it.

I cleared my throat as I noticed three fillies who had accidently left their jaws on the ground and eyes glued to me. I was awkward to say the least.

“Girls! It is impolite to stare!” our teacher snapped at the three, kids were still talking so only I heard her snap, I smiled at the teacher, “I’m miss Cheerilee,” she nodded towards me, “I take it you must be new, I know every one of my students and haven’t seen you around here once before.”

“Yeah, I just moved here from Canterlot,” I smiled brightly “My name is PassionBerry.”

“Well then, welcome to my class miss,” she paused and leaned closer to me and lowered her voice as she drew out my name “PassionBerry…”

I squirmed down into my seat, and looked nervously around, did she just flirt with me? But I’m a student!

The lesson went on like any other class… Boring! But I couldn’t help but notice, that the whole time the three fillies next to me would glance at me and whisper to each other from time to time. My mind was definitely not at ease.

The bell sang loudly to let every pony know that is was home time and I was sure relieved, I don’t know what is worse? Having ponies tease me secretly or to my face. I darted out the door and raced home, although there was something lingering in the back of my mind while I was walking home, and the slower I walked the more my gut begged me not to turn around. I was sick and tired of this crap and had had enough for one day.

“PLEASE JUST TAKE MY MONEY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!” I yelled and a part of me actually hoped somepony was standing behind me.

I heard whispers, were they… arguing? And then “Ah’m awfully sorry PassionBerry, it’s just we were so intrigued.”

I raised my eyebrows and slowly turned to see the three fillies that had repeatedly dropped their jaws at me all day, “How do you know my name? And intrigued about what exactly?”

One of the fillies was an orange Pegasus with a styled dark pink mane, another a white unicorn with a pink and purple curled mane and the other a yellow earth pony with a red mane and pink bow, they were all awfully cute.

“Umm, Heh, we were kind of eavesdropping on you and Cheerilee, I’m Scootaloo by the way!” the Pegasus spoke.

“I’m Sweetie Belle and-“the unicorn was cut off.

“And Ah’m Apple Bloom!” they all smiled wide at me.

“And we were wondering why don’t you have a cutie mark? I mean you are almost an adult.” Sweetie Belle pointed out.

“Sweetie Belle!” the other two chimed.

I sighed and sat on the side of the pathway… I was pooped and really did not care at this point, “If I knew why I didn’t have it don’t ya think I would have it?” the girls looked at me confused, “I guess I don’t have a special talent? I don’t know and I don’t care.”

“And I thought we were late bloomers,” Scootaloo smiled at me; “we only got ours 3 years ago.”

This brought a smile to my face, they weren’t going to tease me they were just… interested.

“Hey when you said you eavesdropped on mine and Cheerilee’s conversation why’d you sound as if you had done something bad?” I raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“Because well ya know…” Sweetie Belle looked at her hooves.

“She was flirtin’ with ya!” Apple Bloom announced like she was proud.

“So I wasn’t imagining things then?” I asked the three who simultaneously shook their heads.

“We have only ever heard her talk like that once!” Scootaloo said giddy with excitement.

“And that was when we three poisoned her with love potion!” Apple bloom explained.

“Poisoned?” I questioned, then shook my head in confusion, “Why are you three so excited about this? It’s wrong.”

“Because Cheerilee deserves a special somepony…” Apple Bloom said happily.

“Even if that special somepony is too young-“ Scootaloo was cut off by Sweetie Belle.

“And even if that somepony doesn’t even have a cutie mark yet!”

“SWEETIE BELLE!” The other two ponies yelled.

I sighed, and looked at the ground while the three fillies started to argue about something to do with how they know how it feels to not have a cutie mark and that they need to be more sensitive. I started to contemplate my day and what if my teacher was showing signs of being ‘into’ me. What would I do? Would I go with it or do the right thing? The legal thing. My brain was wracked, and I had no clue, I had never thought about romance in the slightest, I have never had a crush, and up until today nopony ever showed any interest in me in the slightest. I don’t have much looks, the only thing I care about is my mane. And the last thing that I was more confused about was that she was a mare!? I never thought I was gay but to be honest I had never thought I was sexually interested in anything… even now in this time of crisis.

I looked up to the three bickering fillies, “What do I do?”

They stopped and looked at me, silently pondering this question and all three shrugged.

“Nothing, do nothing, if it’s meant to happen it will happen if not then we were all just imagining things” Sweetie Belle concluded and smiled brightly.

I pondered this for a moment, and concluded to myself that that was actually a really smart idea, I said goodbye to the fillies and ran home. I could feel their eyes on my flank until I was out of sight. Creepy.

My first week of school was almost over now over, and I was happily welcoming the weekend. Every day I had to put up with the school bullies teasing and chastising me. Silver Spoon would occasionally get up in my face but I wasn’t afraid of her, because it didn’t feel like she was doing it to fight by the end of the week. It felt like it was her way of being intimate, because every now and then I would catch her staring at me and smiling, and then, quickly look away and blush. Sometimes she wouldn’t look away and just wink. That wasn’t the only sexual tension I was getting though, when we would be doing work from the text book I would look up and notice Cheerilee staring at me too, like she was dreaming of something. She always looked overly happy when she saw me walk into the classroom and when she did role call she would sound my name out like she was learning another language, when I asked her about it she would blush and say it was something to do with the way it looked on paper. But I also noticed Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle would often be looking in the direction of my flank making it completely obvious and me completely uncomfortable. Yes, the weekend was very welcome.

The Bell sounded for home time, cutting through my thoughts, FREEDOM! That was until Cheerilee Held up the class and stopped us from leaving.

“Just a second students please, you know at the end of every week I have to do this, my previous students would anyway,” she said glancing at me, “I have to call out ponies names for who has weekend detention for not handing in home work,” CRAP! Goodbye weekend, I watched as she read down the list, I knew I was the only one because apparently everypony is eager to learn and achieve here… everypony but me, “Looks like PassionBerry is the only one! Please stay behind Miss Berry and everypony else, you may leave.”

Almost instantly the room was emptied leaving me and the flirtatious teacher alone… this wasn’t a situation I wanted to be in anytime soon, I gulped hard and weakly said “My bad”

She laughed, “I probably should have explained this to you before I handed out homework this week…” she paused and walked over to the classroom door before closing it, “But I guess I secretly wanted you to not hand it in.”

She walked over to me and sat on my desk looking down at me, I gulped again, “You did?”

“Oh yes,” she said as she lowered her head, her mouth so close to my ear I swear I could feel her heartbeat, she then whispered, “I would never pass up an opportunity to learn more about my students, and help them…” she looked down at my blank flank licking her lips “Bloom.”

I cleared my throat, my comfort zone was non-existent at this point, “Th-thankyou?”

She got up and sat on her desk, which wasn’t much farther from where she had already been, as my desk was directly in front of hers, she sat with her back legs dangling off the side and she leaned back onto her for hooves, I looked away almost instantly when I noticed she had not crossed her legs.

“PassionBerry in future I would…” she stopped talking and cleared her throat, “look at me when I’m speaking to you PassionBerry…”

We sat in silence for several moments before I turned my head, I made eye contact with her, If I had to look at her I was going to stare into her eyes, I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of thinking I’m a pervert… or making me a pervert? Although as much as I hate to admit, I really wanted to look elsewhere… where did that sudden desire just come from? “S-sorry miss Cheerilee.”

She shifted and I noticed she had spread her haunches more, and for a moment I lost my concentration and looked directly between them. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her mare hood. Just out in the open, if anypony were to walk in right now they would be in for a mighty fine sight.

She chuckled, “Like what you see huh?”

I blinked, where were my sudden urges coming from? Was this puberty? No. I remember when I was in heat for the first time and even then I didn’t have the slightest attraction to anything at all. I looked back to her eyes, I had to focus. I blushed, “Oh my Celestia! I’m so sorry Miss Cheerilee, it won’t happen again. I promise.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep” she winked at me and I blushed even harder. Finally pleased that I had looked, she then snapped back to professional mode and crossed her legs.

“What time do I need to be here tomorrow Miss Cheerilee?” I asked changing the subject.

“I want you here 10am sharp! You will be here for 3 hours and in that time you will be doing your homework that you did not complete.” She said hastily.

“Okay Miss! Is there anything else you need me for?” I asked, hoping the answer would be no.

She opened her mouth to say something but now words came out… Like she was mute. I then saw her blush a very dark shade of red.

“Are you okay Miss Cheerilee?”

She cleared her throat “Oh it’s nothing, we can get to that tomorrow, and I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately… I feel I’ve been acting so strange.”

“I tend to do that to ponies” I joked and she blushed harder.

“Indeed… so I will see you tomorrow PassionBerry,” she waved a hoof, “Now get home safe you here?”

I was out the door before she had even had time to finish. Home sweet home. Here I come baby, I couldn’t wait to relax and have a nice cold bath… after that, I definitely needed a cold bath. That is something no seventeen year old mare should have to see from her teacher. And why all of a sudden am I finding myself attracted to that kind of stuff. I mean I’m mature enough to not think its completely icky but I have never been attracted to anything. These sudden urges were strange, and I wanted to explore every inch of them!

Hearts Desires

Sitting at home, reading the time like it was an encyclopedia full of knowledge that I wanted to consume. It read 9:45. I should have left five minutes ago, but I couldn't. I had something in the back of my mind, yelling at me to go to my detention. But my heart was telling me to blow it off and just stay home, where I may go back to my dreamland where nothing was complicated and no ponies teased me, ever. Actually in my dreamland no ponies had cutie marks either. It was beautiful, plain, old, non-talented ponies… silly dreamland.

I sighed, me thinking about my dreamland had brought me five minutes into the future. I got up at eight o’clock today and I was about to have done it all for nothing. No I really should be getting to my detention, I mean I could have done my homework… but who the hay wants to do homework on their first week of school back? Definitely not Passion Berry.

Without realizing it I had just closed and locked my front door behind me. Yeah I was going to be late. Yeah I was probably going to get more detention. But to be honest anything was better than being alone in that house by myself. I have no parents. I have no siblings. I have been alone all my life, abandoned at birth. It’s like my parents knew I would be a failure… No I can’t think like that, just because I have no cutie mark does not mean I am a failure. Deep down I hate being alone, because I have had it that way all my life so the little interaction with other ponies would make me realize what I was missing. I choked a tear back remembering being in the orphanage, hoping that my day to be the pony picked would come. But it never did, and so I would never have a true family until I make my own. And with the way my love life is, will be never.

I stopped at the door to the classroom. Looking for the time, I was 30 minutes late!? How in Equestria did that happen?! I thought I would be 10 minutes late if that! I only live right down the road.

I cleared my throat and opened the door slowly and quietly hoping maybe I could sneak in. I know I dream of big things. I sat at my desk avoiding eye contact with my teacher who was giving off a very scary vibe.

She was tapping her hoof on the desk to mimic a "tick-tock" sort of beat. She then stood abruptly, slamming her hooves on the desk, “Do you have any idea how late you are?!”

I didn't say anything, only glancing side to side.

“You know this is my weekend too?! I don’t want to be cooped up in a classroom on my days off babysitting some…” she paused and then smiled cruelly, “Foal.”

I breathed a sigh of relief; I definitely thought she was going to call me blank flank.

“So…” she reverted back to her normal, non-threatening tone, “Give me your best excuse and if I am pleased with it I will let you off the hook.”

I gulped loudly, my eyes darted all over the room. Do I tell her the lazy truth or go with a make believe scenario… I have a good imagination. Let’s go with that, “Well, while I was walking here, I found a bit just lying on the ground, naturally I figured today would be my lucky day so I went to the arcade, after inserting my bit into ‘Changeling Invaders’ I then worked my way to the very last level, where I had multiple ponies gather in awe as I was about to beat the un-beatable. Glancing over to the side for a split second I noticed I was running very late and thought of my poor teacher who was waiting so eagerly to spend time with me,” Cheerilee blushed as I said that part, “and I could not bare to hold her up on her day off, how rude and un thoughtful of me!” I slapped my forehead against my hoof as a sign of punishment, “I am so sorry teach, can you ever forgive me?!” I begged, clasping my hooves together.

She was a smiling now, I took that as a good sign, she shook her head and chuckled, “I guess that will suffice…” she lowered her voice, “for now…”

Cheerilee walked over to my desk and slammed a piece of paper on my desk, “Homework?”

She gave me a quick smile, “Sure.”

I got to work on the piece; it was more of an informant sort of paper, like a survey form I guess. The questions on it were personal, some a little more personal than they should have been. The one in which I was stumped on was, ‘Sexual preference, Mare or Colt?’ I mean I had never had an interest in either, do I leave it blank or just circle both? After several moments of thinking about this odd question I just circled both I mean, it’s not I don’t like them, it’s just I’m not really interested in that kind of stuff.

“Done.”

Cheerilee had apparently been in a daze staring at me, when my sudden completion yanked her out of it. She came and collected the paper from my desk, before returning to hers eagerly reading my homework.

I sat and waited what felt like forever, watching my teacher intently trying to figure out what she was thinking. This homework was strange, the fact I don’t remember the sheet being that personal when she first handed it out seemed odd to me. I figured it must be so she can keep track of her students’ lives outside of school. Miss Cheerilee was certainly an amazing teacher, I've never known a teacher to be so passionate about their job, and so caring of their students at the same time. Yeah she may have gone off at me about being late on her weekend, but honestly who could blame her, I know I would have done the same thing.

Cheerilee looked up at me, her lip quivering and eyes glazier than normal. “Passion Berry… C-come here please…” she gestured.

Had I done something wrong? Did I write something bad about her on it and forgotten? I walked over awkwardly and sat on my hind legs beside her. She turned and looked at me, tears now free falling down her face.

“Y-you have no one. You have no pony in your life to love you? you have no parents? Not even a sibling? I saw what you wrote in the family tree section and how you just wrote your name and the rest with question marks,” she bit her hoof to stop herself from choking, “And you live alone? You are only 17… how is this possible?”

“Its amazing that I am the first orphan to make it into the teen years… they never thought that far ahead so no they are setting me up in life so I can have the chance to be as great as anypony even though my whole life I have had well… nothing.” I had to be strong, I didn't think this would be that emotional, but it is.

“I don’t get it, you are the perfect kid, you are so lovable and yet no one has adopted you… I’m sorry I gave you such a silly task of filling this sheet out, I didn't think you would go into such detail in the life section…”

“It’s okay, to be honest you are the first to ever ask me about it… sort of… if you can count that,” I chuckled, causing her to nervously chuckle too.

“I just never imagined anything like this is all,” she glanced over to the clock on the wall, “We still have an hour left, I tell you what I will give you the choice, you can go home right now… or you can stay here and we can watch a movie in the staff room and we can eat popcorn too!”

I pondered this for a moment, I could be free and go home and go watch a movie by my lonesome… or I could watch it with my teacher and eat popcorn… It could be worse, “Yeah that sounds amazing Miss Cheerilee-“

“Just call me Cheerilee, because at the moment I’m not your teacher… I’m your friend” she gave a coy smile.

I smiled warmly, this was the first sign of warmth I've gotten in a long time… I haven’t had someone be this nice to me since… never mind I don’t want to think of it.

“Follow me,” Cheerilee gestured and started to walk out of the room.

I quickly rushed after her, and after a few moment we were there. In the staff room there was the biggest couch I have EVER seen as well as a fridge, microwave, sink and a projector reel.

“How is this place so amazing?!” I asked, awe struck.

She chuckled and raised an eyebrow, “Oh you poor thing, so innocent you can’t see the evil that lurks within here.” Cheerilee joked.

“ Ha Ha, very funny.” I plonked my plot down on the mega couch, it was so comfy it was sickening.

Cheerilee after a few moments of moving around the room had managed to get the movie running and popcorn ready at perfect time.

Cheerilee sat next to me on the couch, the movie we were watching ‘Daring doo and the Crystal Skull”, I have never really been a fan of action movies, but I was enjoying the company so I was content. Although I noticed at the beginning of the movie Cheerilee was at least a legs length away from me but now she was a little less than a hoofs length away, and scooting closer. And then everything that had happened yesterday shot back into my mind.

How could I have forgotten something like that?! It wasn't something that should be forgotten easily. Remembering the sight of Cheerilee's marehood made me quiver, not knowing if out of fear or excitement. I must have locked that far into the back of my mind and thrown away the key, only to just find this imaginary key again when my teacher started to close the proximity between us. WHAT WAS I THINKING!? Part of me wanted to get up and run when another part wanted to see if it were just my imagination… as well as see how the movie finished.

I was jumped out of my train of thought when I felt Cheerilee rest her head on my shoulder, “You know you are a special young mare? Right Passion Berry?” she said in a slight whisper, that made me want to melt it was so smoothing and reassuring.

“Umm… I guess heh…” I cleared my throat awkwardly. I am definitely not used to this sort of attention, so sweet and innocent, yet at the same time it felt so darn naughty.

I felt her hug close to the side of my body, wrapping my foreleg in her hooves affectionately.

What was I doing? Hmm maybe she’s just being ‘teacherly?’ I could feel my face getting incredibly hot, was I sweating? I sighed into Cheerilee's mane, and decided I may as well just deal with it, I've just got to keep reminding myself that this is better than being alone, even if my teacher has other plans on the agenda then just spending genuine time with me.

I breathed in the scent of her mane whilst she lay on my shoulder, it smelt like daisies, fresh ones. I think she felt me smell her, because she gave a soft quiver. I tried to shuffle away a bit to maybe get a little breathing space, as I couldn't tell if me breathing into her mane was annoying, but as I tried I felt her hug my foreleg tighter so that I couldn't move away. In the end of it I somehow ended up closer, so close in fact that if I were to look down our muzzles would touch.

She snuggled into my neck, and this was hitting me how intimate all this was, and if another teacher were to walk in here Cheerilee could be in real trouble, “Where are all the other t-teachers?” I asked.

“Oh none of them really like to come in on weekends, apparently I’m the only willing to put those extra hours in…” And with that she looked up at me, our muzzles almost touching, “So we are completely alone.”

And with that she leaned in only slightly, but it was enough for our lips to touch, and with that I had my first kiss. It was like a bucket of hot fire had been thrown onto my face, I was blushing fiercely. This was not how I had planned my first kiss to go down, but it was perfect all the same. I felt like a flame had just been ignited within my chest and it craved more… It needed more. I pushed my tongue forward out of instinct and almost immediately it was passed from my mouth into Cheerilee's, I wanted to explore everything within her mouth, as she did mine, I could tell how eager she was hardly being able to control her tongue as it thrashed around within my mouth. I wrapped my hooves around her neck and pulled her as close to me as possible. She gladly obliged. After several moments of fireworks blasting from all corners of my brain, ignited from the passion of this kiss, I pulled back panting heavily.

“Th-that was amazing… Miss Cheerilee…” I said between breaths.

She took a deep and long breath to calm herself, then looked down my body hungrily before stopping at my flank, her eyes widened and she beamed the biggest smile at me, “I would hope so, because I think you just found your special talent! And I said, just call me Cheerilee.” She winked.

“Oh ha-ha, I couldn't have been that good of a kisser, it was only my first time.” I blushed.

She blushed too, “That was good for a first time, but that’s not what I meant silly!” she said and pointed a hoof towards my flank.

I turned to look and it hit me like a sack of bricks, I jumped for joy and started to gallop around the couch excitedly, “I GOT MY CUTIE MARK!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” I screamed, then stopped abruptly, “Wait!” I looked down at my flank, rubbed my eyes then back down again.

“What’s wrong?” Cheerilee asked concerned.

“Are you serious?!” I screamed at my flank, “A love heart?! SERIOUSLY?! A lousy love heart, I mean no flowers no nothing but a stupid love heart… I WAITED THIS LONG FOR A HEART!?” my anger was flaring, so plain and boring my cutie mark, I sighed and calmed myself down, at least now I won’t be teased anymore… or will I?

What was my special talent? Was it kissing? Was it Love? I was so confused, and by the look on Cheerilee she was too.

“I-I don’t understand PassionBerry? What’s wrong?”

“It’s just, I didn't expect after waiting this long… I didn't expect it to be this simple…” I sighed, “Don’t worry Cheerilee, I just don’t even get what my special talent is, you know? I-I just need time to think…” I rubbed my hoof to my temple.

“About what?” she asked upset.

“About this, about us… about everything!” I yelled and ran out the door.

I felt bad when I heard her call out, I couldn't quite hear what she said and at this point I didn't care. I was running and didn't know where, I just needed to be alone. The reason I was with Cheerilee in the first place was to avoid being alone, and now I wanted nothing but it. I had run for what felt like in my mind forever but in reality must have only been 10 minutes. I stopped on the path and couldn't handle it anymore, I started crying and breaking down. My body refused to move into the bushes close by so nopony would see me, leaving me out in the open of Celestia knows where, balling my eyes out. What was I doing? What did I do? I kissed my teacher?! And I enjoyed every second of it… I definitely smell like I enjoyed every second of it… But it’s wrong! I’m a student! She’s a teacher! I cried harder. A week ago I wasn't even thinking about this kind of stuff, and now I have a cutie mark to prove I cant stop thinking about it! It may have just been a kiss, but now I have an urge that needs to be satisfied, an itch that need to be… scratched. What am I thinking! What is wrong with me!?

I kicked the ground, and fell onto my back, sobbing into my hooves. After a few more moments of me arguing in my head and sobbing aloud, I heard something above me, someone clearing there throat and saying something so soft it was quieter than a whisper.

“P-pardon?” I asked, as I tried to regain myself, I took my hooves away from my eyes, wiping away tears as I did so.

I was taken aback from the sight of a beautiful yellow Pegasus with long pink hear, smiling nervously over my head, “I-I’m sorry, but you are crying awfully loud and waking up all my pets, I was wondering if you wanted to come in and tell me what’s wrong miss…?” she said timidly.

“Passion Berry… my name is Passion Berry, and I would love to come in.”

“Yay!” she squeaked, “By the way my name is Fluttershy… it’s nice to meet you Passion Berry…” she said helping me to my hoof and leading me to her cottage.

It was an adorable little cottage and there were little critters all over the place… I’d always loved animals, and I’d a long time ago hoped they would be the cause of my cutie mark… guess I was wrong. Fluttershy held the door open and ushered me through, I walked in and as I walked past I felt eyes on my flank. Still even with a cutie mark ponies still looked… I guess it really must be sexy, I joked to myself.

We went and sat on the couch, an all too familiar setting, but there was nowhere else to sit unless I wanted to sit on the floor… which did look quite appetizing.

“So umm… what was wrong to make you, uh, cry so much? If you don’t mind me asking?” she said while blushing, why was she blushing?

“Are you sure you want to know?” I asked and she nodded and smiled eagerly, “Okay then, but don’t say I didn't warn you…” and I then went on to telling her everything, I was only going to say certain parts so Cheerilee wouldn't get in trouble but FlutterShy was so eager to listen, and I was so eager to talk to a pony who was so eager to listen.

“…And that’s it, that’s how I ended up in front of your cottage crying, so what do you think?” By the time I finished explaining everything, from the bullying all the way til now, Luna had managed to raise the moon.

She thought for a moment, bring a hoof to her chin, she was so adorable I could die, “You poor thing, being bullied like that… and… and your teacher taking advantage of you like that!” she said angrily. Had Cheerilee taken advantage of me? In a way I thought I sort of wanted it, but in a way Fluttershy was spot on, “And there is nothing wrong with your cutie mark PassionBerry, it may be simple, but it defines who you are… I think it’s… nice.”

“But what exactly is it defining?! Aren't we supposed to know what our cutiemarks mean, I have no idea!”

“In time you will, but for now, just be happy you have one, and the bullying will stop.” She smiled sweetly, I only just noticed she was lying my lap and looking up to me blushing. Then her eyes lit up, “Oh Celestia look how late it is! You have to stay here tonight Passion Berry, there is no way I am letting you walk home in the dark… anything could be out there!” she squeezed me in a hug like she was scared, and then jumped back, “I should make you dinner!”

She ran out to the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I really don’t think I should stay here tonight… I’m an emotional wreck. But it would be nice having somepony to look after me and keep me company… Fluttershy really is the sweetest pony I have ever met, I would probably still be out on the road if not for her… I should make it up to her… I know tomorrow I will go into town and buy her a thank you gift… or maybe tonight I could-No! Not Fluttershy, she is too sweet, and after everything she has done for me, I refuse to think like that with her… STAY OUT OF MY HEAD DIRTY THOUGHTS!!!

Fluttershy returned with a bowl of salad, “Sorry, I don’t really have anything, this is all I have, I was going into town tomorrow to buy more, I didn't expect anyone-“

I raised a hoof, “ I'm sorry Fluttershy, and this is fine, how about I go into town with you tomorrow and buy you lunch?”

She blushed at this and softly said, “That sounds amazing…”

“Great!” I said and started munching away, and just like that I was finished.

“D-did you like it?” she said looking at something on the ground.

“It was amazing! Thank you Fluttershy!” I said and she looked up and smiled.

The smile only lasted quarter of a second, “OH NO!” she screamed and rushed to me.

“What!? Is it a spider?!”

“No, you have something on your face… here let me…” she lowered her tone, and licked my cheek long and hard, “There. All gone...”

She had placed her hooves around my neck and was now looking into my eyes, I couldn't resist, she was just so cute… and yet so hot! I wrapped my forelegs around her waist and pulled her close to me, resulting in her squeaking. I then kissed her and she welcomed it, she wrapped her hooves tighter around my neck and moaned into my mouth before letting me stick my tongue into hers, our tongues danced around each other in an intimate dance, there were the fireworks again, but these ones felt different then when I was with Cheerilee, these ones felt… real. I moaned into her mouth as she did mine. I wanted more. I needed more!

“ Where's your bedroom?” I blushed.

She also blushed, she only giggled in response and flew up some stairs and through a door on the left, I immediately followed. I got to her room where she was lying on the bed, I gulped, this was it. I went over and lied down next to her looking her in the eyes.

“Are you sure you want this?” we both said at the exact same time, resulting in us both giggling.

I stoked the hair out of her face and said softly, “There is nothing I would like more than for you to take my virginity Fluttershy…” I said and kissed her.

She moaned at this and rolled on top of me, running her hooves through my hair. She then started to plant butterfly kisses on my neck and this made me whinny, it felt so amazing, like being out in the cold rain then stepping into a hot bath, she kissed her way past my belly and was now at my inner thighs. This was the first time I really felt naked, with someone down there and staring directly at my marehood. I felt her lick up and down my inner thigh, and then I felt her breath on my marehood, this caused me to moan in delight. I wanted her to dive in but she didn't, she gave a slow lick along my folds, and this made me quiver. I could feel how wet I was and this teasing wasn't helping me fulfil my appetite. She stated to lap at my marehood, and then she put her mouth over it and started to squeeze her tongue in, it was amazing, she sucked on my marehood as her tongue danced around within me, and then she hit the most amazing spot that made me moan so loudly, it made my back legs wrap around her head and squeeze.

“Oh Celestia! Right there! Feels amazing!” I moaned, as she dug deeper into the spot.

I started to feel this sensation lurk up on me, as Fluttershy lapped at my marehood vigorously, I brought my hooves down to her hair and started to pull at her hair, what was this sensation and why did it feel so good? Fluttershy started going to town on me and I the sensation I felt earlier was coming to rise, and then I just let it go. I felt as my marehood tightened around Fluttershy's tongue and I screamed in ecstasy, while Fluttershy moaned into me. Liquid fire erupted from me and Fluttershy was eager to lap it up.

“That…That was…so…good!” I said between breaths, as Fluttershy crawled up to meet my eyes again.

She then kissed me and my mouth was flooded with my own essence, it was amazingly hot, and turned me on that much more. She then pulled away, “You… you taste so good!”

“Uh… thank you.” I blushed hard.

“No really, you are like all my favorite sweets combined…” she said trying to convince me it was a good thing. The once shy pegasus now beamed radiantly.

“he he… that was… wow! Just wow!” I said and closed my eyes.

I remember cuddling up to Fluttershy and her cuddling right back, before I fell fast asleep into the nothingness. I made a mental note that I would treat her tomorrow and take her out and buy her something nice. I could see myself falling in love with this pony… or am I already falling for her? Only just a few hours, I had given myself to her fully… I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings…

Forgiveness

I awoke with sweat beading on my forehead. I sighed, thank Celestia it was all such a dream. I started to laugh out loud as I began to roll onto my side. Then the shit hit the fan. I was lying next to the very Pegasus I thought I had just dreamed about. She swung her foreleg around me and attempted to pull me in closer.

How could I have done this? I hardly know this pony and yet I gave her my everything. I gave her the one thing in life that was actually mine to give… It all happened so fast, too fast. I had thought things with Cheerilee had moved too fast but with this mare it had moved lightning fast.

I looked down at Fluttershy, who was blissfully sleeping whilst clinging to me. Once again this was too much. I slowly inched off her hoof from around me while doing so I replaced myself with a pillow. I was triumphant. I slowly and steady started to creep my way to the door, opening it quietly. I stepped through the door and closed it behind me. My forehead was now a fosset. I turned from the door only to run into an impatient bunny tapping his foot on the floor expectantly.

“Heh…” I giggled nervously, I had forgotten about the many faithful animals Fluttershy took care of, “This isn’t what it looks like?” I tried to sound convincing.

The bunny raised his paws to his mouth as if he were about to yell.

“No! No! You will spoil the surprise if you wake her!” I had to think on my hoofs.

He raised an eyebrow, I took that as a sign that he may be believing me.

“I’m going out into town so I can…” I paused, so I can what? THINK! “I know! So I can go buy the ingredients to make her breakfast in bed, after… all she did for me last night… it’s the least I could do.”

The bunny pondered this for some time, before pointing to the clock and nodding.

“Whoa its 5 am?! Don’t worry I think I will be back before she wakes up fella…” I said as I walked quickly to the front door waving a hoof, “See you soon…” I said shutting the door behind me, “Not!”

I quickly ran in the direction I thought my house would be, even though I had no idea. I soon ended up in the out skirts of the town, I knew that was wrong. As I turned around I was yet again interrupted by a Pegasus.

She was hovering with her forelegs crossed and she had a beautiful rainbow mane, “Just what do you think you’re doing sneaking around Ponyville?!” she accused.

“I-I’m not sneaking… I’m lost!” I pleaded.

“Likely story! I saw you sneak out of Fluttershys house!”

My eyes darted from side to side, I didn’t know what to do.

“What were you even doing over my mare friends house?!” she exclaimed. I could see the rage within her building up.

Her Mare friend!? Oh Celestia what have I done?! How could I be so stupid? I don’t know what has gotten into me for me to be acting so… slutty? I started to inhale and exhale… yeah I was panicking.

“Are you okay?” the rainbow mare asked.

“I’m fine… I just… need to… go home…! I am so sorry!” I said between hyperventilating.

“Uh, sorry for what?”

“Nothing, bye!” I yelled as I began to run away in another direction I suspected my home might be.

After five minutes of running and not looking back, I managed to find a familiar path that lead to my house. I sighed and trotted up to my door letting myself in. Leaning against the back of my door whilst smacking my head against the hard wood.

“Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!” I yelled with each hit.

I picked myself up off the floor and headed for the bath so I could relax and think about what has happened to me.

After several moments the bath was ready and bubbles floated around the room curiously, I always go over board with bubbles. I lowered myself gently into the tub and soaked my coat in the pure hot water, I closed my eyes to think.

First things first, what the hay did I do last night?! I just acted so out of character, it didn’t even feel like it was real it was so rushed. Ever since my moving here everything has been a lot more sexual in my life, I mean I kissed my teacher! And I ran out on her only to have sex with another pony!

I once again threw my head back in frustration.

Its got to be my cutie mark. Its done something to me… or maybe the ponies around me… or maybe both, I don’t know. I have had these urges for a while now, and last night even though part of my mind was thinking it wasn’t real, there was another part that wanted it so bad it hurt. It is like a hunger that needs to be satisfied but already I can feel myself wanting more.

I started to slide my hoof slowly down my body, making sure I hit all my sensitive areas on the way down.

I don’t know if I should accept this feeling or keep rejecting it? I mean would it hurt if I just went with it? I highly doubt it, and so what I could be seen as a slut… yeah I couldn’t deal with that side of it all. Maybe if I found just one pony to love and fulfil my urges I would be fine. I think I will give that a try, but who? There’s Cheerilee, but she’s a teacher and I don’t really want her getting in trouble. There’s Fluttershy… crap! I forgot about her marefriend, I need to clear that up soon, the guilt will eat me up inside if I don’t. Last there is the multiple students around school I have seen staring at me… maybe I will give them a try.

My hoof had stopped massaging myself while in mid thought. I decided to get out before I got all pruny. I dried myself up and did up my mane.

I grabbed a few bits and headed into town to buy a few things, one of those things being a bunch of flowers, and an apology card, most ponies in town were nice, though some snobby and trying to act like they are better than the rest, I got along just fine with most. A few stallions even offered to buy me some flowers while I was in the flower shop, as cute as it was I kindly rejected their offer, although I did make a mental note for all of them.

From running around a lot this morning I actually knew where to go around the town now, I noticed a library, it was a gorgeous tree, and I made a mental note to stop in there on the way home so I could see if they had any books on the meaning of cutie marks. All this would have to wait though, I have a yellow Pegasus I owe an apology to and who owes me some explaining.

I stopped just outside of Fluttershys cottage, I sighed remembering myself crying my eyes out just yesterday in this very spot. I walked up to her door with the flowers levitated behind my back, I knocked three times and waited several moments before the door only barely creaked open, although I was greeted by no pony. A rabbit stood at the door arms crossed and foot thumping, this seemed all too familiar.

I cleared my throat, “Is Fluttershy home?” I asked.

The bunny then slammed the door in my face.

I then heard what sounded like arguing and scuffling come from within the cottage and then the door opened up again, to my surprise a very angry Pegasus, only it wasn’t Fluttershy, it was her mare friend.

She snorted at me, “Give me one reason to not buck you in the face right now!? Just one!”

“I-I uhh….” I clenched my eyes shut and braced myself for impact.

“RAINBOW DASH NO!” I heard Fluttershy yell.

I opened my eyes and saw Fluttershy on top of Rainbow Dash pinning her to the ground, I also noticed both of them seemed to be crying.

I sighed, and looked down at the ground, “No Fluttershy, I think I deserve a beating after the way I treated everypony in this situation.”

Fluttershy was staring deep into Rainbow dash’s eyes when she looked at me like I had just broken her heart, “What?! You did nothing Berry, I was the stupid one, I took advantage of you, and I didn’t even tell you I had a marefriend…”

“What! You didn’t even tell her?!” Rainbow dash yelled.

Fluttershy looked down at Rainbow dash, “I’m so, so sorry Rainbow, I don’t know what came over me, you know I love you with all my heart and I would never mean to hurt you, I just wish you could forgive me and love me again, I wish I had never been so stupid, I wish I had of just thought! Stupid Fluttershy!” She leaned down into Rainbows chest and started to ball. Rainbow stopped looking mad and started to cry while holding onto Fluttershy and stoking her mane.

“I will never stop loving you flutters…” she whispered.

I took this as my time to leave, I placed the card by the door and shut it leaving them two whimpering into each other, I decided the flowers may not help in this situation and may just make it worse so I held onto them.

I sighed, that didn’t go the way I wanted and I wish I could have said more, but those two needed time, I may visit tomorrow after school… that is if I even go, good thing I bought two apology cards, poor Cheerilee I feel just terrible.

I kicked at the dirt path as I turned, what do I do now? Maybe that public library is still open? I think I will go give that a look. I set on the path with the library in mind.

Five minutes later I was there and just in the nick of time! It had just begun to rain when I opened the door.

“Hello? Is anypony here? I would knock but it started raining outside so I thought I would just come in.” I called out.

To my surprise a young purple mare popped in front of me out of thin air, “Oh hello there, welcome to the Ponyville library, my name is Twilight Sparkle, you must be new, feel free to browse the books. If you need help I am just a call away.” She smiled eagerly towards me.

“Hey there Twilight, my name is PassionBerry and yeah I am new, heh… but I could use your help actually, do you have any books about the meanings of cutie marks?” I asked.

“The meanings of cutie marks? No sorry I don’t think I do, I mean, usually it’s just common knowledge with cutie marks… is a young sibling having trouble understanding themselves?”

I blushed, “Not exactly… you see I only just got my cutie mark and-“

“Wait! You only just got yours? How old are you Berry? If you don’t mind me calling you that?”

“I don’t mind and I am 17, “ I chuckled nervously,” and I have no idea what my cutie mark means…”

“Well I may be able to help,” she took a long look at my flank, “a heart hey? Hmm…” she pondered for quite some time, “How did you get it?”

I turned red, I knew this question would be asked but even still I was very nervous about answering it, “I got it when I had my first kiss…”

“I see… well it could symbolise love or something else like it… do you love this pony?” Twilight inquired.

“Umm to be honest I don’t really know… I only moved here last week and I don’t know any pony very well… it’s not that I don’t like her it is just that I don’t know her well enough… ever since moving here all the ponies have been a bit full on you see?” Twilight nodded, “I have started having feelings that I have never had before-“

“Friendship?” she said enthusiastically.

“No… I think the word for it is lust?”

“Oh…” Twilight started to pace back and forth, while I sat and watched her think, she gestured that I keep talking.

“And not only that but this is the first time in like…ever that any pony has shown any interest in me sexually…”

She stopped at this, “What? I don’t believe that,” to this I blushed, that seems to be all I do these days, “But on that thought I think I may know what is going on… you have a very rare talent… but I will need more evidence before I can prove my hypothesis. How would you feel about visiting me at least 3 times a week to report in… it should really only take 3-4 weeks. I just need information on how your week experiences go along.”

Twilight grabbed me around the shoulders and stared dead into my eyes, “Berry, I think you are very special and I would like your permission to study you further and report you to Princess Celestia… in a good way.”

I coughed awkwardly, “Yeah okay Heh!” The princess! Twilight must be a very important pony.

“Okay I’m going to start my study today, are you busy?”

“No I came here because I had nothing else to do, what do you need? Im happy to help!” I smiled brightly and twilight nodded enthusiastically.

“That’s great! Now if you don’t mind I would like to know about the kiss you had, and any other romantic incidents since, if there are any other since that is.”

“Well the kiss wasn’t exactly how I planned it but… wait is this going to be confidential, I know you will report some to the princess but not parts like these right?”

“Nothing that will get you in trouble if that is what you mean… or any other pony in that matter.”

“Okay, like I was saying it wasn’t how I had planned my first kiss, I’d always dreamt it would be under a tree watching the sunset… cheesy I know but what can I say,” I shrugged and watched as Twilight took down notes with her magic, “anyway so i shared my first kiss with my teacher-“ Twilight choked at this but I continued with my story, I told her everything from the feeling to me running out. And now I was up to the story of Fluttershy, “So after I ran out on Cheerilee I was pretty upset, I got lost and decided I didn’t care and just started crying in the middle of nowhere, turns out I was in some ponies front yard, turned out to be a real sweet and kind Pegasus called Fluttershy-“

“Fluttershy!? She is one of my best friends you know!” Twilight said happily.

I cringed, “Are you sure you wish for me to continue?”

It was Twilights turn to cringe, “I will be fine.”

I told her the whole story between me and Fluttershy, as short as it was it was still a big part of my life, “And then in the morning I ran out and bumped into her marefriend-“

“Poor Rainbow dash… I’m so disappoint in you Fluttershy…” Twilight muttered to herself.

“It’s okay I think those two are fine now… I hope… anyway long story short I went to apologise Rainbow almost beat the hay barrels out of me and her and Fluttershy started crying so I left… I figured I would be back tomorrow to check in on them.”

Twilight had fallen silent. The room had adopted an awkward aura, I started to shift nervously.

“So have you figured anything from what I have told you?” I asked.

“I don’t know just yet I need time to think, hearing about one of my close friends has been a bit much… it’s just… she acted so out of character, it took her 6 months to finally make a move on Rainbow and even then it was just a slight peck on the cheek.”

I glanced at the clock, it was almost 9pm, “Whoa I should get home I have school tomorrow and I’m never good at waking up on time.”

“Oh wow, it’s much too late for you to be walking alone home, I tell you what stay the night, I usually have my assistant here but he is off with a heard of dragons his own age, he won’t be back for a few weeks, you can stay in his bed if you want.”

“Oh I don’t want to intrude or anything…” and last time I stayed at some ponies house it didn’t end the best…

“Oh don’t worry I don’t mind, and don’t worry I won’t make a move on you… if you don’t want me too,” she winked and giggled and I laughed along with her.

“I trust you Twilight.”

“Follow me.”

She took me up the stairs and to the bed her assistant sleeps in… it looked like a dogs bed, I smiled awkwardly, “No offense Twilight but that thing is kind of well… not pony size? I really don’t mind walking home, I’m sure if any big bad pony tried to get me I would be fine.”

“I’m not taking the chance! You can have my bed and I will sleep in Spikes, would you like dinner before bed or are you tired now?”

I was about to ask for dinner and then remembering Fluttershy I decided against it, “I think I will just sleep, I am pretty tuckered out,” she walked to the door, “Goodnight Twilight.”

“Goodnight Berry.”

Twilight turned the light out and went back down stairs, I felt bad for sleeping in her bed and thought about offering an ultimatum, we share? I quickly wrote it on the note hoping my writing looked appropriate in the dark, it just said if the little bed becomes to uncomfortable she is welcome to jump in with me, I won’t bite, and I placed it on her ‘bed’ for the night. I then set sail for dreamland.

***

Midway through my dreams I was awoken by the light snoring of a purple unicorn, I looked around for her but could not see her, until I looked on the ground, she had rolled out of the tiny bed and was now attempting a good nights rest on the floor, without a blanket and pillow. I sighed, what a stubborn pony. I levitated her up into the bed with me, she was cold as ice so I wrapped my forelegs around her and held her close while tucking us in snug using magic.

Twilight smelled of lavender and mint, an odd yet surprisingly nice combination. I may have been invading her personal bubble by spooning her while she slept but I didn’t care, she was freezing and this was the easiest way, plus there isn’t much room in this bed for two ponies. I snuggled into the crevice of her neck and I heard a moan of relaxation escape the sleeping mare. I was relaxed too, and I was comfortable, but most of all I was happy. I was especially happy when I felt Twilight subconsciously snuggle in closer to me. Once again I was the way to dreamland.

Thinking

I was in a dark place. There was no light. There was no sound. There was only cold darkness that formed around me. Then I heard it, the familiar dark laugh that I could not quite remember where I had heard it before, it then spoke.

“I hope you are enjoying your cutie mark little one… Love and affection you so desired and now you have acquired. Soon you will question whether it is a blessing or a curse…”

“What?!” I yelled as I woke up.

The sight I woke up to was a worried pair of purple eyes looking into mine, she gasped in surprise at my outburst and also blushed at being caught watching me sleep.

“S-sorry, Bad dream, I didn’t mean to scare you Twilight…” I rolled onto my back.

“What? I thought you were yelling at me for staring at you for so long… sorry I was creeping on you?” she laughed awkwardly.

“At least you can admit it,” I turned and smiled at her, “Sorry I put you in bed with me, when I saw you had rolled out of that little bed and onto the cold floor I couldn’t just let you freeze so I kind of put you in here with me and… I also kind of… snuggled up to you? I’m so sorry its just you were so cold and I didn’t mean anything by it I swear!”

Twilight started to laugh, I had no idea why, but I started to laugh too, “To be honest I thought I had gotten up and got in here myself,” she sighed, “that makes me feel much better to know it was you, and thank you, I did have a rather comfortable sleep.”

For a split moment we both lay there staring into each other’s eyes, before I shook myself out of it and jumped out of bed.

“Thankyou heaps Twilight for letting me stay but I really should be heading for school,” I saw a slight spark of anger on Twilights face at the mention of school, “Although would it be alright if I stop by this afternoon or maybe tomorrow and tell you of my dream?”

She brightened up at this “Of course, you are welcome here anytime Berry.”

I trotted over to the door, and waved a hoof goodbye and headed for the major awkwardness in which today would hold.

Then it hit me, I hadn’t styled my mane today… Oh Celestia why!? Looks like I will be taking a detour on my way to school.

Half an hour later, after stopping home and styling my mane I was on the path to Ponyville High once again, I am also running very very late. So late in fact I would arrive just as everypony is heading into lunch.

Instead of bursting into the room and embarrassing myself with how late I am and doing the walk of shame through the class room to, know my luck, the desk right in the middle of the class, I decided I would just wait outside for the whole 30 seconds until the bell rang for recess.

I watched as everypony walked past me, most not noticing me, until I saw diamond tiara, she snorted a laugh as she walked past, “Someponies in trouble!”

I gulped hard as I watched the last pony leave the room, I started to walk in, with my head down “Sorry I’m late miss, I didn’t mean it… had a hairy situation but everything is fine now.”

“I thought you weren’t going to come back…” I heard a rough voice say.

I looked up to notice a frazzled teacher, Miss Cheerilee… she looked as if she had been crying… she looked as if she was about to cry right now. Without thinking I closed the door and blocked out the windows, whatever was going to happen, I knew no pony could see this.

“I thought I had done something to upset you… I thought I would never see you again.” I saw tears running freely down her face as she began to whimper.

I walked up to her, and she lowered her face so I couldn’t look at her, I sighed, what have I done to this poor mare, could she really care that much about me? I lifted her face with my hoof and started to wipe her tears away with the other, I smiled softly as I did this. She closed her eyes, she was being stubborn in not letting me look at her. I stroked her mane out of her face and then I pulled her in for a kiss. I hadn’t planned this, nor had I initially wanted to have an affair with my teacher. She moaned into my mouth as our lips connected and I parted them to make way for her tongue, which she happily did. The kiss went on for several more moments, and in those moments she had brightened up ridiculously, I felt as her body went from sad and depressed mode to downright giddy. I pulled away and sighed.

“Of course I was coming back you silly filly, I’m only late because I had to do my mane…” I blushed at how stupid I sounded.

She responded by pulling me into a hug and squeezing me tight, “I don’t want to feel like that ever again, I was so stupid… and I’m sure I worried all the students with that depressing teacher display.”

“Well I’m glad I could cheer you up, you really worried me Cheerilee, you should get so worked up… especially over a silly pony like me… I don’t deserve your tears…” now it was my turn, I looked down at the ground as a tear escaped my eye.

She pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my tear stained cheek, “You deserve everything PassionBerry, and don’t let anypony let you think otherwise, haven’t I already told you how special you are? I really did mean it when I said it. I know it really should be too early for anypony in any situation to think such a thing but I think I Lo-“

She was cut off by the sound of the bell, apparently Recess was over, and before I had time to react she threw me off of her, to which I hit the ground pretty hard, to this I heard her whimper, but she didn’t help me up, instead she headed for her desk.

I was still on the ground when students started to enter the room, apparently Cheerilee cared more about her career then my wellbeing… I couldn’t blame her for that though, if it were me in her situation I probably would have done the same thing… just maybe not as rough.

I was still struggling on the ground when I noticed an orange Pegasus lingering over me, I looked up to notice it was Scootaloo, she chuckled at me and reached a hoof out to help me up, I happily obliged. When she pulled me up we bumped heads which resulted in both of us blushing for some weird reason.

“What were you doing down there berry?” she asked rubbing her head.

“Long story, anyway we better grab a seat before they are all… gone.” Too late, every seat was taken except two in front of the teachers desk.

“Girls, sit please.” Cheerilee said sternly.

I trotted over to the seat with the Pegasus in tail. We sat next to Scootaloo’s friends, apparently they either liked sitting at the front of the class or they were just as unlucky as me.

“Okay class, it is now assignment time,” a group of loud and over exaggerated groans sounded from within the class, “Now, now, it isn’t that bad, I know it is your first of many to come this year so I have decided to be easy on you all and let you work in pairs. So quickly everyone grab your partner before I give out the instructions on what it will be about.”

And with that the class broke its silence and the chatting instantly filled the room. I sighed and looked down at my desk, I will just wait until the teacher asks for the ponies who don’t have a partner and just get grouped with one of them.

“Ahem…” I felt a nudge in the side, I didn’t react, “AHEM!”

“What’s up?” I asked Scootaloo who had been the one nudging me.

“Umm… Want to be my partner, I mean, well… er, Sweetie Belle and AppleBloom paired up and well I don’t have anypony so I thought maybe you would like to be my partner.” She gave her toothiest grin and puppy dog eyes, not that she needed it.

“Of course I will Scootaloo, I mean I was just going to get paired up with the last pony who had no one, but… Yay.” I smiled.

“Yes!” she shouted ecstatically, too which every pony in the room went quiet, except her friends who were too busy giggling themselves to death, Cheerilee was just staring at me and Scootaloo… she seemed angry. Within moments the class became noisy again and all was right with Equestria.

Cheerilee soon got back to teaching and explain what our assignment was, it was a project where we would have to enter something into the science fair, it could have been anything and pretty much from what I gathered as long as you entered something in you would pretty much pass. So this assignment would be easy as pie.

The bell rang and it was time to go home everyone exited, I decided to stay behind so I could continue talking to Cheerilee and I noticed Scootaloo hesitate as she walked past me, she then whispered, “I will wait for you outside.” Before being ushered out by an impatient Cheerilee.

When Scootaloo had exited Cheerilee had slammed the door behind her and locked it whilst muttering, “Silly little foal…”

“She isn’t silly nor is she a foal.” I stated in Scootaloo’s defence.

To this Cheerilee looked heart broken, she frowned and yelled, “What do you like her or something?!” she said foolishly.

“Now who is being a foal?” I chuckled and smirked smugly at her.

She shook her head in confusion and rubbed her temple, “I’m sorry Berry I don’t know where that came from, and I am sorry for pushing you down before… did I hurt you?” she inquired taking a step in my direction and brushing her hoof across my cheek.

“No not really, I mean, I might get a tiny bruise but that’s it. Nothing major. And to me it sounds like some pony is jealous?” I gave my best cheeky grin and raised my eye brows.

“What?! I couldn’t care less about you and her!” she turned her nose up like a snob.

“Sooo…. You wouldn’t care if I were to do this with her-“ and before I even gave her time to react I pulled her close to me and kissed her passionately. To this she gasped into my mouth and then the gasp turned into a moan.

I pulled away and trotted over to her desk, shaking my flank seductively while she was left to catch her breath, “I… May care… just a little…” she said between breaths.

“Well in that case… I better go!” I grinned and galloped to the door, “Bye!” I yelled as I watched her scamper and flail after me.

When closing the door I heard from within the class room, “You are so getting detention tomorrow!”

I chuckled, I had never been a good tease before and this exhilarated me, it was fun… I think I might try teasing ponies more often especially with the way my sex drive is going at the moment.

Waiting just outside the room around the corner was Scootaloo “Hey Berry! Over here!” she called out to me as I trotted over.

“Hey Scootaloo, what’s up?” I asked as we started to walk down the path that leads into Ponyville together.

“Oh I was wondering when you wanted to make a date… for, uh, you know the assignment?” she asked nervously.

I smiled, “You mean a study date? Umm well I guess I have time to go see the ponies today while Celestia’s sun is still up, so would tomorrow be okay? It’s just it would either have to be tomorrow or now and right now I’m kind of pooped.” I gave a deep chuckle at the word pooped.

“Yeah tomorrow sounds great!” she said enthusiastically, “My place or yours?”

“Haven’t even had the date yet and you are asking who’s house hey!” I nudged jokingly, to this I noticed her blush, I also noticed my confidence had sparked out of nowhere as of late but I will focus on that later, “I’m just kidding, my place should be fine.”

“Great! I will see you then!” she said as she turned to leave, “Bye PassionBerry!”

“See you at school Scootaloo!” I called out but I doubted if she could hear me.

I decided I wasn’t confident enough just yet to go check in on Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash so I might go head over to Twilights and when I’m done visit them… a trip I was dreading but it had to be done.

As I was walking down into Ponyville I passed a white unicorn mare who was wearing a beautiful hat and sunglasses and her vibrant purple mane curled and bounced with each step, I had to stop and stare in awe at this majestic mare, her beauty truly did blow me away. But to my shame she had noticed my staring and stopped and lowered her glasses to get a good look at me.

“Are you new to Ponyville my dear?” she asked in a sing song voice that melted my very core.

I cleared my throat to snap out of this daze, “Uh… yeah...”

She smirked, “Well in that case welcome to Ponyville, my name is Rarity, I work at the Carousel Boutique, feel free to stop by anytime.” And as she went to trot away she quickly turned around, “Oh and it is rude to stare.” She laughed in a sultry tone before continuing her journey to where it was she was heading.

She didn’t even ask my name… I felt a warm sensation slide down my hind leg… OH NO! I cried to myself, no wonder why I have been more confident, I’m on heat… this is bad this is very, very bad. I could have sworn I was just on heat, why has it come by so quickly? And I don’t usually act like this when I am on heat… what is going on with you body ever since you got your cutie mark you haven’t been able to stop thinking about- THAT’S IT! It is so clear now… Wait until I tell Twilight she doesn’t need to study me anymore… I know what my cutie mark means! But do I accept it? I mean if it is what I think it is then that is pretty cruel… I need to ask another pony for advice! I started a full gallop to Twilight, trying to hide my tail between my legs as I galloped proved to be much harder than predicted.

Arriving at Twilights Tree house, I was out of breath as I knocked on the hard wood door. I waited a few moments managing to catch my breath, I need to exercise more, and by the time the door swung open I was feeling energetic once more.

“Oh hey Berry.” Twilight said as she held the door open with magic and gestured me in.

As I walked in I noticed the library was a total mess, “Uh spring cleaning?” I asked.

“No… weekly cleaning,” She stated rather proudly as she made her way upstairs “Come upstairs, I haven’t started cleaning up there yet.”

I followed her up the stairs and onto the bed where we sat, “Do you really do that every week?” I asked in disbelief.

“As of lately I do…” she stared longingly off into the distance, and I could tell she was getting emotional.

“Is it your assistant?” I couldn’t help myself part of me wanted to get to the reason I was here but the other part wanted to help Twilight.

“No…” she was silent for a long moment and just as awkwardness started to smother the room she spoke, “Can I get your advice Berry?”

“Uh… Sure?”

“Have you ever been in love?” she asked.

I choked, “No I have never been in love, unless an inanimate object counts… then I have been in love… with my brush.”

She pondered for some time, “Well say you were in love with somepony else’s brush, what would you do?”

I went silent for a long while as I thought of this, what would I do if I wanted someone else’s brush? “I would take it anyway…” I answered more to my question then Twilights, “If I really loved that other brush… it would be mine.”

Twilight shook her head in frustration, “You can’t just do that with another pony though Berry…” she sighed loudly, “ If only it were that simple! I just love them so much and they don’t even know it… and their somepony doesn't even deserve their love…”

I looked down at my hooves, “You should tell that pony what you just told me… I’m sure they will welcome you into their hooves…” I said to my hooves.

“You’re right!” she said triumphantly, “I have thought this over long enough, I will tell her asap.”

“So can I talk to you about my theory now?” I said and instantly felt selfish.

“Uh, oh yeah sure… theory on what?” she asked.

“My uh, Cutie mark, I think I have figured it out!” I jumped up excitedly.

“Really?! I just made 3 checklists for study time on you, but I can just tear them up if your hypothesis is right!”

“Oh sorry… But umm, I think my cutie mark resembles something like… well I don’t mean to sound up myself but I think it’s something to do with attractiveness… I mean since getting it, I have had more eyes on my flanks than ever,” Twilight coughed shyly and darted her eyes to the side, “And no ponies have ever really flirted with me, or even wanted to! And on top of that I have already had ponies asking me out and I had intercourse and my first kiss on the same freaking day! With two different ponies!”

“I guess that sort of makes sense… but I think further study is needed to be sure because if that is the case I will need to report your talent to the princess, and you may be taken to Canterlot for evaluation… this is one of those rare cases…” she stopped herself, “But like I said further study and what not, don’t go jumping to any conclusions yet Berry.”

She had a point but I could be sent to Canterlot? At the moment I don’t really want to go, I only just got here. Then I got a strange idea on how I may be able to test out my ‘attractiveness’.
“You have a point there Twilight… Hmm…” I turned around like I was looking for something in Twilights room, she kept it clean and crisp, I pretended I was looking on the floor for something and I bent over to get a closer look on the ground, giving whoever may be looking at my flank a good view.

Then I heard that familiar awkward cough, “Berry what are you doing?”

I snapped around, and noticed a blush spread across the unicorns purple face giving it a pretty pink tinge, “I thought I left something here last night… must have lost it. Silly me.”

The room lay silent for what felt like an eternity, my inner thoughts screaming at me to hide because she knew I was trying to prove my suspicions on her.
“Well I guess I should be off.” I said as I made my way to her bedroom door.

“No wait!” I heard her yell from behind me, I stopped and turned, “Berry before you go… I want to know… were you just uh, were you just trying to seduce me?”

I felt as the blood under my cheeks turned into molten lava, I laughed awkwardly and continued making my way for the door, “I have no idea what you are on about Twilight!” I glanced behind to notice she was still standing by her bed, “Yeah I guess I was.”

Her face brightened into a huge smile, at least that what I think because I ran down the Library stairs and out of that gorgeous little tree house before she would even have time to catch her breath.

I sighed as I walked along the path from Twilights house further into the town of Ponyville, I noticed a small Carousel, and realised that must be that Boutique that Beautiful mare works at, I have a lot of spare time now and I guess it couldn't hurt to go check it out. And get the crap humiliated out of me again… I headed for the cute little shop determined to befriend this mare.

The sign on the door was flipped to closed… but then I thought back and she had said come by ANY time, and now was any time. I opened the door and I heard as a bell rang, and a voice call from down the corridor, “Sorry Carousel Boutique is closed due to order pile up, please come by tomorrow… Hello?” I heard the voice call and followed it all the way to a messy little room with fabric thrown everywhere but the right place.

“You said come by any time.” I interrupted the mare and her sewing, she was hard at work on a huge dress I could see from the patterns she had cut out.

“I said it out of courtesy Darling,” she looked up from her sewing table to meet my eyes, “I never did get your name…” I noticed her place her needle and thread down to really get a good look at me, or maybe something on the wall by me.

“PassionBerry, but ponies just call me Berry these days…” she got up and trotted over to me.

Bowing her head slightly, “Well it is nice to meet you PassionBerry, I hope you enjoy Ponyville, and if you ever need a dress for a… formal? Feel free to contact me. Now what is it I can help you with today dear?”

“I just wanted to check out the boutique the beautiful mare of Ponyville owns…” I earned a blush when I said this, from me and the white mare in front of me, I couldn't believe I had just said that, and not got a buck to the face… I ‘am so in. “And let me say, it is nearly as beautiful as the mare that owns it… nearly.”

“Oh you… I say how old are you PassionBerry?” she took a step closer as she asked this.

“I am seventeen Miss Rarity, why do you ask?”

“Because,” she turned and headed back for her desk, damn I thought I had this one… wait what had I just thought?! I'm not a ‘playa’, “Because I remember my sister speaking with her friends about an PassionBerry, Glad I can finally put a face to the name.”

“Wait who is your sister?”

“Sweetie Belle, I ‘am hurt she never mentioned me, her and her friends won’t stop mentioning you,” she pouted, “It seems you have somewhat of a fan club as you would call it… an unspoken one if you will… my sister and her friends may have a crush on you PassionBerry, and I cant quite see why?”

“Excuse me? Wait they have a crush on me… and YOU CANT SEE WHY?! What’s wrong with me?” I asked kind of hurt.

“Well you are obviously into older mares, you are inexperienced and a terrible flirt and also…” she looked me dead in the eye like she knew it was going to sting, “That silly thing atop your head in which you call your mane-“

“BITCH! THE FUCK YOU JUST SAY!?” and I had hit breaking point, I hate swearing and when I swear… this is probably the reason why. I marched up to her desk and noticed her only slightly smirk but quickly hide it and keep the serious façade going. Was I being played?

“I said the thing atop of your head, you know the hair spray… and I guess hair…” I slammed my hooves on her desk and watched as she couldn't contain her grin any more, “It is quite…” I snorted what felt like fire as a warning, “Disgusting-“before she could finish her word I flipped her desk to the side using mere strength, this unicorn got muscle, and I pinned her to the ground leaning over her.

She was still had that cocky smile stretched wide across her face, “You think its funny? To make fun of another mares mane HUH!?” I emphasised my ‘huh’ so I would breathe hot breath into her face.

“My, my we have a fiery one here don’t we?” she said to herself, and then she did the unexpected, she leaned up and kissed me, and like that instead of what I usually feel, fire, this kiss was like water on hot coals and my steam was being released, I was still angry but, I didn’t feel like tearing her limb from limb… I wanted to lick her limb from limb, I wanted to feel her.

She pulled away with much force, “Oh my.” She breathed, I took in all the features of her face and noticed her pearly white coat was no longer white and was now a mild pink in her cheeks.

I smirked, this prey was mine and I was ready to feast, but I know I was always told never to play with my food but I couldn't resist, she had gotten me so fired up it was time to return the favour.

I got off of the flustered unicorn and dusted my shoulders off and started heading for the door only to be interrupted, “W-where do you think you are going young lady?” she demanded already sprawling to her hooves.

“I don’t want to do anything with a mare that doesn't admire my mane, let alone think its disgusting, especially coming from a mare that looks as if a herd of cows just trampled on it.” I turned my nose up at her and turned back to the door.

I heard her gasp multiple times, “How dare you! Bah! Huh! I never!” she bit her lower lip to stop herself from what sounded like an angry dragon trying to escape from within her.

An evil idea popped into my mind, one I knew would most certainly push her over the edge, “Maybe I will go see a certain mare that actually appreciates my looks, What was her name again? Sweetie Belle?” with that I turned to get a good look at the mares face but before I made the turn I got levitated and flung in her direction to which I crashed into the desk I had flipped only moments ago, I cried out in pain, was I about to get in a full on unicorn brawl?

I was on my back and rolled away from the desk and into the middle of the floor mainly to dodge a pin cushion that had been thrown in my general direction. I tried to jump up and gain some ground but Rarity was two steps ahead of me, she pounced on top of me, pinning me to the ground so I was unable to escape. She smirked down at me and I cringed in fear, she looked as if she was about to skin me. The heat that had been lingering in my loins since the day had started suddenly exploded out of fear and curiosity at this new mare, and the thought of her ripping me to pieces… I know I am weird.

She leaned down ferociously and kissed me hard on the lips, I felt as if the pressure was going to make them burst. I had been expecting a slap across the face, not a kiss. She released my hooves and wrapped hers around my head and through my mane as she leaned in closer. I wrapped my forelegs around her waist and thrust against her, to this she complimented me with a moan. Her moans vibrated through my mouth as I thrust against her. My hooves started to massage her back, all I could think about pleasuring the mare on top of me. Her coat was as soft as a bed of roses and she smelt of diamonds and strawberries, I had never known the smell of diamonds or that they even smelt but with rarity it was a clear as day.

I felt her tongue glide against my lips and I obliged to let her in, and our tongues started their… tongue off? Her tongue did intricate twirls that massaged my mouth as it explored it at the same time, while my tongue went in for the kill as it tackled hers and twirled around it to subdue it and make it mine, once succeeded I pulled away and gasped into her neck as I felt her marehood press against my groin, it was so soft… so wet and it sent electricity up my very core. I bit down on her neck as she started to rub herself against me. She cried out in delight as I bit and kissed circles around the bite. My hooves drifted down to her cutie mark and started to circle around it, and then I gripped her flank in the passion of everything and pulled her hips hard against me as she thrust.

We both started to moan out loud not being able to contain our excitement for any longer, and just as I felt myself about to erupt Rarity stopped, frozen in place, not even making a noise. I looked up to her face and her pupils were the size of pin pricks.

“Rarity?” I asked confusion melting over my face, I turned to look in the direction she was staring, which happened to be the door way.

My heart stopped, I saw the sight of a filly one the verge of tears, I saw the sight of a young mares heart breaking, and it broke mine just to see it.

In the door way Sweetie Belle stood mouth pouting and tears now freely falling down her cheeks, “H-HOW COULD YOU!?” she yelled and then turned for a full gallop.

Rarity launched up, “Sweetie! Wait! I’m sorry!” and now it was her turn to sob, I watched as she sat on her haunches and wept into her hooves.

I got up and walked over to her, I kissed her on the forehead as I wrapped my forelegs around her, this made her sob more loudly, she then pushed me away gently, “I think you should leave.”

I nodded and very slowly turned and left the sobbing unicorn. I didn't know what I could say. Was this all my fault? As I closed the door to the boutique behind me I knew there was something I needed to fix. And fix it I would!

Life decisions

As much as I had wanted to run after Sweetie Belle, I couldn’t. Not only did I not know where she went but it had started to rain, and the only place I wanted to be was home, and the only pony I wanted to be with was myself.

I began my long walk home from Ponyville market, it was long because I liked how the rain cooled me off. I think I was more than due for an ice bucket of water to be thrown onto me. After what felt like an hour I reached my front door.

I walked inside my home not bothering to try and dry off but heading straight for my shower.

I turned on the hot water to an appropriate temperature before I was content. I slid down my shower tub and let the hot water pour all over me. Then it happened. I burst into tears, for at the time I felt I had no reason for doing it, but as I whaled out at the top of my lungs, and my tears being hotter than the water itself. I soon started to realise why I was having this break down, it was because I no longer felt like myself, all these thoughts rushing through my head and all these different crushes. I used to look at mares like that and think what a dirty slut, but now I have become one and all I see is myself crashing and burning.

I flung my hoof against the side of the tub in anger, “No more!” I yelled, “I’m not going to have these stupid little flings anymore, I’m going to find one special somepony and settle with them.”

I sighed, I think I have ruined enough of my life already. I have lost a friend, and my dignity. Not that I had much dignity to begin with. Well starting from now I will only be interested in mares or maybe stallions who I think I can have a relationship with.

I hopped out of the shower and dried myself off, my mane was soft and not brittle from all the gel and hairspray I usually have in it, I like it like this sometimes… when nopony else is round.

I later made myself a hot chocolate and sat on my little couch as I warmed up and stared into the night, I don’t know how long I had been sitting there or how long I had been staring into the night sky but I do know this, I was excited for school tomorrow, or I was excited to start the search for my special somepony.

I soon was walking in dreamland and there was no way I was being rustled awake anytime soon.

“Are you enjoying yourself berry?”

Silence.

“Oh? Do you not appreciate the gift? You think what hmm? You can just worm your way out of it with just one special somepony… have fun with that.”

Silence.

“You don’t believe me? Already there are obstacles that will prevent you from reaching your goal Berry… I only want what is best for you… I have always wanted what was best for you!”

My eyes snapped open, and a cold sweat ran down my backside. I had fallen asleep on my couch, and with my untouched hot chocolate, which was now spilled, half on myself and half on the floor.
I cleaned myself off as best as I could and when I finally finished that and doing my mane I looked at the time.

“How did I manage to sleep the day away?” I asked no one in particular. “If I go to school now there would be no point… ah well!”

I decided I wouldn’t bother with school today as I wasn’t feeling so well as it was, and there was only an hour left… my bad?

I decided to finally unpack my record player along with all my music and listen to some tunes, more specifically, listen to Vinyl Scratch, her mane was my inspiration and her music is what has kept me going in life. I’m not going to lie, on multiple occasions her words have kept me from letting go of life and her bass brought me back to reality. If I ever met her… I would well… I don’t know.

Time goes quickly when you listen to music and before I could put my hoofs up and relax, there was a knock at the door.

I sighed, I was in the zone, who could it be?

I opened my door to see an confused looking orange Pegasus with pink hair, I opened my mouth to say something but was cut off as she barged her way past me and sat on my living room floor unpacking her bag.

I had completely forgotten about mine and Scootaloo’s study session.

I made my way over to her and sat up on the couch as I stared down at her as she unpacked her things.

When she finished she looked up at me sternly, “Let’s get this over with as quickly as possible so I can get the hay out of here, okay?”

“Uh… okay…” I said taken aback at how angry she sounded, “What’s wrong?”

“Like you would care… you home wrecker!” she looked me dead in the eye then spat away in disgust, “I can’t believe you!”

“Excuse me? Home wrecker? What did I do to you?” I asked shocked.

“What did you do? You grinded up on Sweetie’s sister right in front of her! Full well knowing that she was interested. Hay! I was even interested before I found out that on top of that, you had also slept with my idols marefriend!” she yelled, “so right now all I want to do is be as far away from you as possible! But I can’t because I agreed to do this stupid assignment with you!”

I hadn’t said anything, I let her vent, because she was right about everything, and I deserved nothing but this.

She sat there for a few moments hyperventilating, and all I could do was watch.

As her breaths calmed I spoke, “You can leave… I will do the assignment and you don’t have to do anything, you shouldn’t have to put up with somepony that you don’t like, and well, I don’t really want to be stuck in a room with somepony that hates me… you will still get the credit and that way we don’t cause more conflict.”

“You think getting rid of me will solve the problem!?”

“So you actually want to solve the problem? Or are you just causing another fight?” I asked matter-of-factly, I was in no mood for games, and right now this felt like drama, on top of more drama.

She was surprised by my response to say the least, “I-I… I DON’T KNOW!” she screamed to herself more than me.

“I mean… I really dislike all the things that you have done Berry…” she said and she sounded calmer and more caring then before, she looked me in the eyes, and I felt like her expression was a thousand expressions, I saw hurt in her eyes but I also saw forgiveness, regret, sadness and happiness, this mare was displaying thousands of emotions all at once.

“But Berry, even with everything that you have done, I still… I still kind of like you…” she sounded embarrassed which caused me to blush. “I know it must be hard, everything has changed for you so quickly, but I just hate to see you go down this path… Berry I don’t want you to be labelled a slut… I don’t wish that on anypony…” and then I saw a glistening streak slowly stain her cheek.

This pony sitting in front of me actually cares about me… and I just tried to push her away, when all she was trying to do was get me to see what I was doing, even though I already knew full well what I was doing, I couldn’t help but be grateful for the caring mare that sat before me. She had started to openly cry now and as much as she tried to hide it, she was making it more clear.

I hopped off the couch so I was no longer looking down to her. I threw myself forward and wrapped my forelegs around her bringing her into an tight embrace. She sobbed into my neck and I felt as her tears stained my fur.

“Shh… no pony is labelling me a slut just yet…” I lied as I stroked her mane, to which I felt lots of gel and other product I couldn’t quite put a hoof on, but it smelt like passion fruit and dirt. Literally dirt.

I sat patiently as she slowly wrapped her forelegs around me, “I-I don’t… want a-any pony calling you a slut!” I cried harder, but it felt more relaxed now that she was holding me.

I continued stroking her mane, “Scootaloo, I don’t know what I can say to make you feel better, I honestly have no control over what other ponies think and say, and to be honest I wouldn’t be able to do anything even if I tried,” I stopped stroking her mane and she looked up into my eyes, “What can I do Scootaloo? I don’t want to lose a friend.”

For a split second I thought I saw her twitch, “A friend… is that what you think of me?”

I cleared my throat, was she not my friend… what have I done now? “Of course we are friends, I might even go as far as to say we may be best friends.”

Now this time I definitely saw a twitch, I also realised I was still hugging her, I slowly and inconspicuously let go of her and sat facing her. Turns out she was in deep thought and didn’t even notice.

“Can I ask you a few questions Berry?” she suddenly perked up from her daze.

“Yeah I guess so, are we cool by the way?” I quickly added.

“For now. Anyway, I was wondering since so many ponies are taking a sudden interest in you, have you taken a sudden interest in anypony?”

That was a good question… Was there anypony I felt I had an emotional and physical attraction to? I had told myself I would stop fooling around and choose a special somepony… but who had I chosen to be the object of my desire, and that’s when I realised I had desire for a lot of ponies… but there was one pony in particular I have taken an interest in, but I don’t think she is interested… for certain reasons.

“So?” Scootaloo asked after several moments of waiting for my answer.

“I… I am not interested in anypony… not in that sense anyway…” I sighed out of frustration, “I wish there was but I haven’t really had time to properly connect with anypony.”

“Really? No pony at all?” she asked and it looked as if her eyes were twinkling.

“Hmm… Nope.”

Scootaloo growled in frustration, then she stood up and started packing her things, “Time has flown hasn’t it? I gotta get home!”

I looked at the clock on my wall, it had only been half an hour, there was still the whole afternoon.

“Shouldn’t we-“

“Nope no time! See you at school Berry, Bye!” Before I could say bye back she was out of the house and zooming off on a scooter.

I sighed out loud and flopped backwards onto my couch and sighed loudly. I didn’t want to move, I had slept the day away and now I was exhausted mentally. I wanted to get in bed, pull the blankets over my head and cuddle my teddy until I could fall asleep, and dream my worries away. But my dreams have been betraying me lately and I no longer had my teddy.

I decided I was going to play ‘How long can I levitate the breakables’ as I hadn’t used my magic in a long while.

I decided that the crystal vase I owned would serve as a good test subject. After what felt like an hour I felt my forehead start to form beads of sweat. It wasn’t like I had to do this, I could put the vase down at any time… I had to prove to myself I could beat my record though. Three hours and forty two minutes. My house is boring, it is either listen to music or make my own games, and this was always a fun game.

A knock sounded at my door and for a split moment I lost concentration, but I reacted quickly enough to catch it mere millimetres from the floor, I wiped my forehead, “Phew! Come in the door is open!” I yelled to whoever knocked.

Something in the back of my mind telling me I shouldn’t just let anypony in my house with out checking first… but to be honest, I was only focused on one thing.

“Berry?”

“Yo that’s me!” I said sarcastically.

“What are you doing?” Twilight asked.

“An experiment, how did you find where I live?” I asked still not looking in her direction.

“ I'm a genius, bitch.” She stated.

“Fair enough. What brings you to my little house Ma’am?”

“Don’t call me ma’am. It makes me feel old-“

I scoffed out loud, breaking my concentration and dropping the vase, “You are old.” Worth it.

I walked into my kitchen to get my dust pan, soon I was sweeping up the remains of the victim.

“So why are you here?” I cut to the point as Twilight had fallen silent watching me clean up.

“Umm… to talk actually, it gets kind of lonely at the Library without Spike, my assistant, and well I figured you were a good listener so why not?”

“You mean you came over to hang out?”

“Well… yes.” She gave me the best smile she could muster up, it was very cute in a dorky sense.

“Don’t you have any other friends? What about that mare you are in love with?” I spoke out loud before thinking it over, and Twilight immediately looked hurt.

Her ears drooped and she looked down at something interesting on my floor, “Yeah… that’s kind of the reason I wanted to see you, you’re the only one I told about that and I thought I might fill you in on what happened.”

“Take a seat,” I said as I swept the last of the crystal remains into the pan, “I will be with you in a moment.”

I walked into my kitchen and poured the rubbish in the bin. There was a mix of emotions running through my mind, and if I had to be honest with myself, I really didn’t want to be disturbed after my meeting with Scootaloo. But this was Twilight, our friend. I sighed and bit my lip as I walked back into my living room.

I sat next to Twilight on the couch as far away as possible, I wasn’t taking any chances tonight.

“So what happened?” I asked and I saw as her face went from happy, to her bottom lip quivering and her eyes squinting.

“I-I told her…” she held her hoof up to her mouth like she was biting it.

“And…” I urged her to continue, seeing Twilight like this, she usually looks calm and composed, but this was breaking my heart.

“She laughed in my face.” And then the water works started.

For the second time that day I embraced a sobbing mare, “There, there…” I stroked her mane as she cried into my neck, I wondered if she could smell the faint scent of another mares tears for a split moment.

“It was horrible!” She blubbered, “I told her everything Berry! I told her how I would watch her every day, and how I admired her bravery, and how ever since I laid eyes upon hers I was in love and there was nothing in the world that would tell me otherwise.”

I flinched for no apparent reason.

“I told her that I would do anything for her, I PRACTICALLY GAVE HER MY SOUL BERRY!” she screeched, “And she didn’t even take a moment to consider me, she just laughed, she didn’t say anything.”

“So she literally just laughed?” I asked as if she hadn’t already repeated it.

“Yeah! I didn’t want to stick around after that. I came straight here.”

“So she laughed and you ran away… without seeing if she had anything else to say…” I face hoofed.

“Well… yeah I guess…” she said as her sobs slowed to a stop.

“Twilight,” I bunched her cheeks up in my hooves, “You didn’t even give the mare a chance, maybe she was laughing at the… irony or something…”

She sniffled, “Y-you think so?”

“I know so!” I lied, “And if she really did just laugh in your face come back here… and I’ll give her a piece of my mind!”

Twilight got up off the couch, dusted herself off and then took on an triumphant pose, “Okay!”

With that Twilight was marching out my door, a lot more quickly then she had entered. I was once again alone, I quickly locked the door with magic and headed for my room. Before doing so though, I turned the music player on.

In my room I sat and stared up at my ceiling, while listening to the music echo down the hall. I was relaxed. I could have easily fallen asleep. I could have easily done anything other than lay there on the bed with a worried gut feeling. But I couldn’t move, my emotions were taking me on a joyride of a lifetime and I had no idea why… deep down I knew why. But I couldn’t admit it to myself yet. I feel so out of the loop in my own mind.

Then I heard a knock at the door.

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long, feel free to give advice on the direction of Berry's life. Would Love your feedback. And any offers to help proof read.

Realisations and Reality

I had a hard decision to make. Do I get up and answer the door to what could be an angry mob? Or do I stay in my comfy bed all relaxed and with no worries? Did I even need to ask?

But as I lay in bed I found it more and more impossible to get relaxed as the knocking persisted, and soon enough went from light irritating knocking to bashing on my door.

With a heavy sigh I lifted myself out of bed and headed for the door. Only to find absolutely no pony there when I opened it, not even any down the street walking away. Odd.

Sitting on my doorstep was a basket of flowers with a love heart shaped note, soon enough I was magically enveloping the basket and closing the door behind me and returning to my place of solace. My room.
As I sat on my bed, I read the note.

"PassionBerry, I have been watching you for quite some time now, and I would love to arrange to meet you this weekend, if you choose to accept please leave a flower on your doorstep. Sincerely, your Secret Admirer."

It took me several moments to process this. I had a secret admirer… welcome to the club? If this happened to me a month ago there would be no doubt in my mind. But as of late I feel like everypony is my admirer in one way or another… at least this one is being discreet about it. I decided I would meet this admirer. Curiosity has gotten the better of me. I decided I would leave the flower tomorrow as I leave for school.

For now I’m content with sleeping. I feel like I have been drained even though I have done nothing all day but sleep! I feel drained emotionally.

I sat back in my bed as I let the music echoing down the hall find its way into my mind and help me drift off to sleep.

I awoke to the sound of music and stared up at the clock, I sighed happily noticing I had woken up on time today. I showered and prepared myself for school. Before leaving I grabbed two flowers and left one on my doorstep, checking to see if anypony was watching.

I kept walking with the other one in my mouth, it was a pink rose, I had to fight my urges to eat it. I had planned on giving it to Sweetie Belle as an apology rose for when I saw her. I know it wont make up for what I did to her but it is a start… and its not like I have ever been in this situation before. This is all new to me.

Walking through the halls of ponyville high I had quite a few ponies waving at me and saying hi to me. It was odd, when did I become so popular? Soon enough the bell rang and I headed to my first class.

Three classes, and two lunch breaks later and I was down to the last class, Miss Cheerilee’s English class. Where I would finally find Sweetie Belle, who it seems along with Scootaloo and AppleBloom was successfully avoiding me all day.

As I walked in to the class room I noticed Miss Cheerilee looked miserable, she hadn’t even acknowledged any of the students walking into the room. She hadn’t even looked up from her desk.

I decided I would find out what was wrong after class. I sat patiently at the front, being one of the first to arrive, I watched the doorway for the pony I had been hunting all day.

They were the last to arrive, and when Sweetie Belle made eye contact with me it seemed she struggled to hold the disgust off of her face. Also by the way AppleBloom was pushing on her rear, she was trying to bail.

To make matters worse the only seats left were in the front row… next to me. I gave Scootaloo a small smile, to which she rolled her eyes… I thought we were on better terms again.

AppleBloom was the unfortunate one to sit next to me, but she didn’t seem to mind. She didn’t seem nearly as angry as her friends.

Cheerilee cleared her throat before looking up, and almost as soon as she saw me her attitude changed slightly. But I couldn’t tell if it were better or worse.

Cheerilee Sighed, “As you can all tell I am not feeling the best today, so I will be giving you all time to work on your assignment, if you have any questions feel free to come up and ask me. And please try and keep the noise to a minimum.”

All the ponies in the class translated what she just said into ‘Free time.’ After five minutes of sitting at my desk waiting for something to happen I realised there was a bad vibe in this classroom, and I also realised me and Scootaloo need to do some work on our assignment.

As I made my way over to the group, whom were huddled in a corner, I decided I would finally give the rose I had been holding onto all day to Sweetie Belle. But I noticed as I got closer they got quieter.

Standing next to them I cleared my throat, “Uh… Sweetie Belle I was wondering if I could talk to you…”

“Whatever you have to say to her you can say in front of us!” Scootaloo stated.

“I would rather not…” I said calmly, “Sweetie Belle?”

She took a moment before nodding and following me to another part of the room with less nosey ponies.

We sat for a brief moment of awkwardness before I pulled out the rose and nudged it towards her.

“I got this for you… I’m so sorry Sweetie Belle… I never meant-“ My voice broke, and it was apparent that there was a lump in my throat that was choking me, trying to make me cry.

I cleared my throat and shook my head, “I’m just so sorry, I don’t know what happened, I should have known better, its just… I’m on heat, and you know how it can be-“

“Your on heat?” She suddenly perked up.

“Uh… yeah, I’m glad it isn’t noticeable-“

“Well that explains a lot! Sorry I got so mad, I just didn’t expect my sister to do that with you of all ponies… And I guess I was a bit jealous…” I noticed her blush.

“So you forgive me?” I asked, and tried for the best puppy dog eyes I could manage.

She scoffed, “No. But it is a start. I tell you what… as much as it hurt my feelings, I know my sister is hurting more then I was. Take her out on a date and all is forgiven.”

“What?!” I could have sworn my jaw hit the ground, if anything I thought she would want me to take her out on a date but her sister? The confusion within my mind is too damn high.

“You heard me. Sure I might have liked you, but since the other day, my feeling have changed… but it seems so have Rarity’s… After she apologised profusely, she locked herself in her room and hasn’t come out, so could you take her out this afternoon? It doesn’t have to be a date exactly I guess… just a outing.”

I sighed, “Of coarse I will Sweetie.” I then pulled her in for a hug, that lasted a lot longer then expected.

I could feel her hot breath on the back of my neck as we held each other tighter, it felt as if everything around us had froze in time. She then ripped herself from my grasp, ran a hoof through her mane and walked back over to Scootaloo and AppleBloom who were patiently watching.

I scratched at the floor trying to think of my next move. Scootaloo. I groaned, this one is going to be a pain… I thought everything was fine.

“Well?”

I looked up and noticed the pony looming over top of me.

“Uh hey Scootaloo…” I said as if there was a voice activated bomb around…

“Are we going to work on this assignment or not?” She demanded.

“Of coarse we are! Right now!” I pronounced and jumped to my feet.

She let a smile slip and that’s when it clicked, she was putting the angry act on for Sweetie Belle’s sake and now that everything is… sorta okay, she can drop the act… mostly.

We busied ourselves the rest of the lesson, we had decided to do the old potato clock. Simple but proves we are at least a little smart, I’ve noticed some of the other kids just doing collages on pony anatomy, or the environment or even endangered species.

The bell rang just as we had finished planning who is going to do each part, we divided the work down the middle even though I offered to do the whole thing Scootaloo insisted we work as a team.

I decided to wait after everypony left so I could see what was wrong with Miss Cheerilee, even though I was fairly sure I had a rough idea of what it could be. I soon noticed She hadn’t even looked up from her desk after everypony had finally left, so I shut the door myself and sat across from her desk and cleared my throat loudly.

This managed to rouse her out of her trance and as soon as she looked it was like a spark had been ignited, within a matter of seconds she launched over her desk tackling me to the ground.

“I didn’t know you would wait… I didn’t know if you even cared anymore.” She said frantically touching my face all over like she didn’t believe I was real.

“Of coarse I was going to wait, I care about you, and it definitely looks like you need some T.L.C.”

“So you do care about me?” She said sourly.

“Uh… yeah…”

She got off of me, and I knew where this was headed, “I have been hearing rumours Berry… You knew how I felt… why? Why not me?!” She shouted.

“Because I was confused!” I had to think on my hooves… It’s just one thing after another, but I knew Cheerilee would find out eventually, and I knew she would be hurt. Me and her have actually bonded more then any of the others I have fooled around with and all I have done is lead her on… it’s not like I didn’t like her… I was so confused and now that I have made this promise to myself I feel like I owe her, and I can’t do anything. The voice in my head was right… there are obstacles, I just don’t want to hurt anyponies feelings but no matter what I do or don’t do I am. Maybe this can be trial and error period… I mean I am in heat, ponies do stupider things don’t they? Probably not.

“Confused about what Berry?!” She pleaded.

“My feelings! No pony seems to be taking in my feelings right now…” I paused for a moment, “Well maybe they are trying but it seems no matter what I do I am hurting somepony in one way or another!” My heart was racing and anger started to erupt, I’d had enough. “Everything I do is wrong! And ends up hurting somepony even though I had no idea I was doing it! But I seem to owe a debt for it any way! I’m sick of it, no pony has ever treated me nice, or wanted me until now and still I feel like I’m getting treated like SHI-“

I was silenced mid-tantrum with a kiss, I reacted quickly and welcomed it, letting all my anger and tension flow through my lips into Cheerilee’s, I slowly but somewhat roughly lowered her to the floor. I started to furiously kiss up and down her neck, that’s when I heard it. It was so unexpected, so not what I needed right now.

“I love you.” She breathed into my mane.

I stopped, I didn’t know how to react, it was to sudden to be throwing that word around. She was my teacher, we could never have a relationship… this was doomed before it even began. What had I done? Was all I could think. I knew something like this would happen and yet I kept going. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew how she felt… I feel like I have used this vulnerable mare, and I don’t know what to say.

“Berry?” She must have sensed the tension… or maybe it was just me stopping almost immediately, “I-I didn’t mean it!”

She started to cry, I stroked her mane out of her face “I’m sorry…,” I said as I pulled her in for a hug, “I think we both need time to process our feelings… and right now, I am the last pony you want to be in love with… I will do nothing but hurt you Cheerilee.”

She whaled loudly, “No you won’t! And I don’t care!”

“But you do care, otherwise you wouldn’t have been such a mess today,” she sniffled, “I tell you what, Tomorrow when I see you, you better be as chipper and lively as the first day I met you, if you are I will reward you.”

“N-no games?” She asked cautiously… in my defence I was hurt by this, but I knew where she was coming from.

“No games.” I kissed her on the forehead and helped her up.

She walked me to the door, “I will see you tomorrow then?”

“Yes! See you then.” I gave her a quick hug and left.

I liked how slow I was taking it with Cheerilee, but I had my reasons. One of those being it was illegal.

I made my way into town, and I had a tough decision to make. Library or Boutique?
I pondered for a moment, I really wanted to go to the library to see how Twilight was, but I felt as if I knew I wouldn’t like what I heard if I went there. I also wanted to go ask Rarity on that date I owed Sweetie Belle but I knew I would be in for a beating for some reason.

I sighed loudly and decided I would make my way for the Boutique, I passed a little Bakery on the way and thought maybe I should get her a cupcake… who doesn’t like cupcakes?

I entered the shop and was surprised to see so many ponies in her, must be a special on or something. That was when I noticed all the balloons, and suddenly felt as if I were intruding. Which I was. It seemed to be one of the filly’s in town Birthday today and this was her party.

“WELCOME!” A pink pony bounced in my face and then suddenly gasped, “I haven’t met you before! Oh, wow! A new friend, I new today would be my lucky day, my name is Pinkie Pie, but all my friends call me Pinkie and now you’re my friend, HOORAY!” she started to spin me around and around.

“S-stop, or I’m gonna be… sick!” she stopped just in time.

“What’s your name?!” She bounced.

“PassionBerry.” I said whilst still holding my stomach, “Is the bakery open?”

“Sure is!”

“Who do I talk to, to get a cupcake?”

Pinkie reached around and held out on her hoof a Purple frosted cupcake, “Here you go, first ones free!”

I grabbed the cupcake, “Wow thankyou so much, and it is perfect!” I don’t know why I did it but I did, I grabbed Pinkie and pulled her in for a short hug, to which she seemed almost giddy with happiness over.

“No. ThankYOU! By the way you smell pretty-“

“Pinkie! We need that cake stat!” a pony yelled for somewhere in the party.

“Gotta go, see you soon PassionBerry!” She waved by to me then seemed to disappear into thin air.

“Bye?”

Having now acquired what I had come in for I continued my journey to Carousel Boutique, and hoped desperately that Rarity was their.

When I arrived at the Boutique the sign on the door was flipped to closed, but that didn’t stop me the other day, so I pushed forth. Entering the Boutique I noticed straight away that there was an odd feeling within, and that feeling was coldness. It didn’t see as lively as it had the lat I walked in, I thought about calling out for somepony but something in the back of my mind stopped me. I spent ten minutes searching for sign of life throughout rooms, but found nothing, until I came across a set of stairs leading up to what looked like her room.

I opened the door gently and looked around, it was dark and cold within the room, and it smelled of dead flowers. I then saw her, lying on her bed, she looked frazzled and worn out from what looked like too much crying. I sighed quietly. What had I done? She was very cold, so I magically picked her up and tight tucked her under the blankets. She sighed happily either at this or a dream she was having.

I then hopped into bed with her, but not for a perverted reason, because she was still cold and I wanted her to be warm. I didn’t want her to get sick over this. Almost instantly she wrapped herself around me and even though her coldness stung at first we were both warm within no time.

Looking down at her, I started to stoke her messy mane out of her face, I smiled softly, she was still one of the most beautiful mares I had ever seen. She started to stir in her sleep so I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a long while. Sing.

“Shh, Everything is perfect,
Everything is fine.
I’m beginning to suspect,
That you are destined to Shine,
If only I could protect you,
If only I could save you,
Then maybe you wouldn’t be so…
Blue.”

I noticed her twitch a little, so I stopped.

Then she snapped up and awake, “Berry!”

“ME!” I shouted back.

“What are you doing?” She asked shocked, but I noticed even though she seemed shock at my apparent appearance she hadn’t stopped clinging to me.

“I came over to ask you something, and I noticed you weren’t downstairs so I-“

“You let yourself in again, and came into my bedroom?! And jumped in bed with me!”

“Yeah when you say it like that it sounds bad, but you looked so cold so I tucked you in but that didn’t warm you so I thought I would keep you warm until you woke up.”

She looked as if she was about to yell at me again, but stopped herself, “Thankyou.”

“I got you a cupcake.” I said taking the cake from the bedside table and hoofing it to her.

“Thankyou Berry,” She blushed, “I wasn’t planning for visitors… and certainly didn’t expect to see you…” She paused for a moment, then her attitude changed and she for a brief moment seemed disgusted by me and backed away but not leaving the bed, “Not after our last meeting. What did you want?”

I suddenly felt nervous… too nervous, “I umm… I was wondering… I-if you would u-umm-“

“What!” She yelled impatiently.

I gulped hard. I didn’t want to do this anymore, maybe Sweetie Belle would understand… She wouldn’t. I had to do this. “Would you go on a date with me?”

She pondered this for a moment, and for a moment my heart thumped so hard in my chest I thought it was trying to make a break for it.

Without warning she threw her hooves around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss, it felt sloppy, and greedy and even dirty. It didn’t feel right. And that’s because it wasn’t right.
She started to cry into the kiss and I had to force her off of me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I stroked her cheek.

“You. Me. Everything! Why? Why did you come back?” She pleaded.

“I-I… I’m sorry?” This wasn’t making sense, “I came back to see how you were, I came back to ask you out on a date because that is what your sister wants…” I blurted it out without thinking.

“She wanted you to ask me out on a date? She hasn’t spoken to me since she saw me with you, but she wants you to go on a date with me! PassionBerry, do you actually want to or was all of that fake? The cupcake, the tucking me in and even singing to me?”

“So you did hear it? And none of it is fake, I thought you would hate me after everything that happened, I thought asking you on a date would end in me hurt-“

“You hurt!? I can’t stop thinking about you. Did you do something to me? I have never felt like this before…”

She started to sob uncontrollably, I pulled her close to me hugging her head against my chest as I felt her tears soak into my coat. “I’m sorry… it seems I’m a total mess up. I have hurt so many ponies.” I felt tears in my eyes, “All my life I have wanted somepony to love me. I have wanted anypony to even like me, and now that I do it seems I just keep hurting them.”

Now it was my turn to start crying uncontrollably. And once I started, she started to even harder. The more we wept the closer I held her to myself. After a long while she sniffled and looked up at me.

“I could see myself falling in love with you PassionBerry.” She gave a hearty laugh, “But for some reason I think it is doomed before it even starts.”

I laughed through a sniffle, “You think?”

“I know. Plus with a mane like that I don’t think I could be seen in public with you.” She nudged jokingly.

“Have you looked in a mirror recently?” I teased.

Her eyes widened in shock at her own realisation on her appearance, “Oh my! I cant believe you are seeing me like this!”

She tried to rush away, but I held onto her, “You look fine I was just kidding.” She blushed, “Anyway I guess I should be on my way… are you sure I can’t take you on a date?” I asked getting off the bed and waggling my eye brows.

She sighed, “As tempting as it is, I really must move on as hard as it is. For the sake of Sweetie and well… yeah…”

She got up and made her way to her little bathroom. “Well I’m going for a shower now dear, it was nice to clear things up with you, and don’t worry, now that I have closure I should be able to cope. You really are something Miss Berry.” And then she disappeared into her bathroom.

In the back of my mind a voice was yelling at me to go join her, that that was what she wanted. But that voice was tainted. It was not of my own thoughts… but yet it had so much willpower over me. What was happening. I felt as if I was losing control, and then I did, as my mind was telling my body to walk down the stairs and out of the Boutique, my body had a mind of its own as it started to head for the bathroom which now had the sounds of a shower echoing throughout the room. It was just as I reached the door I regained myself, and threw myself across the room crashing into the floor hard. I had to use magic to stop myself. I was fairly sure I had broken my hoof, but the pain blocked out the voice that had seemed to take over my body.

I quickly limped out of the room, with great difficulty made it down the stairs and out of the boutique. As I stood outside I finally examined my hoof. Yup broken. It had already bruised and swelled severely. I had no idea where the hospital was in the town, so I decided I would finally visit Twilight and maybe get directions to it.

The Library was fairly close, but walking on three legs was a pain in a behind. To make matters worse it was my front right hoof, and being a right hoof user I knew the next couple of weeks would be full of me using magic for everything. Growing up in the orphanage they trained the unicorns to not use their magic for every possible thing, they didn’t like it at all really or at least the pony that ran the orphanage didn’t. He didn’t like much of anything… except the pretty filly’s… He would always organise private meetings with them… He promised that they would be adopted after a private lesson. They always were almost as soon as they left. He never took me for one, he didn’t hate me. Just couldn’t stand me.

I made it to the library and knocked on the door with my broken hoof, “FUCK!” I yelled out, then almost instantly shut it. I had clumsily forgot for a split moment. My profanity can be forgiven okay!

Twilight opened the door, “Did you just swear Miss Berry?” she asked mockingly appalled.

“Let me in Bitch.” I said jokingly, and this earnt myself passage way to the couch and a giggle from her which for some reason made me blush.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Well I was originally coming over to see how you were?” I waited patiently, even though my hoof throbbed I still had to ask.

“Well… She said she found it… cute? But she declined.” I noticed her bottom lip quiver, and her eyes water.

“Well, she doesn’t know what she is missing!” I said angrily, I didn’t understand why I was getting so worked up, maybe it was seeing my friend so hurt.

“It’s okay… I shouldn’t have tried to come between her and Fluttershy…” She said as tears began to fall freely down her face, and I now realised the mare she wanted was Rainbow Dash… and now I felt like this was all my fault, like I was the one that got her hopes up because of what I did with Fluttershy, “I’m such a bad friend!”

“No you aren’t, you had a crush… No pony can blame you for that, she would be lucky to have you.” I said and pulled her in for a hug (with my good hoof).

I seem to make a habit of ponies crying on me. Whilst holding onto a sobbing Twilight a sudden realisation hit me. Something I wasn’t able to think out aloud before now. The pony I had taken an interest in was Twilight. Holding her now I never wanted to let go. I wanted her to never cry again. I wanted to be the pony she admitted her love to. I loathed Rainbow Dash because of this, but only out of jealousy.

I breathed in the smell of Twilights mane, she still had that minty lavender scent I wanted to bury myself in. Losing myself in the moment of realisation and the familiarity of the unicorns scent, I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. It was only a small peck, but it stopped Twilight mid sob.

“B-berry?” She looked up at me.

Oh no… I lost myself… I didn’t think and now I have gone and ruined something again… I felt tears start to form and I was sick of crying in front of ponies today.

“I-I’m sorry!” I yelled, and rushed away from her like I might hurt her, “I didn’t mean it!”

“Berry! Wait!” She yelled after me but it was already too late.

I clumsily limped out of the Library. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know where the hospital was. I just had to get away. I had to get away from everything… everypony. I made my way for home. By the time I had made it there I had gotten the hang of running on three hooves down pat.

The flower I left on the door step was now gone. I had almost forgotten about that, and now I regretted it. Just another pony to hurt… I thought.

As I entered my house, I crashed. Quite literally. I passed out.

Author's Note

Sorry I took so long to do this one, half way through, my computer died, and haven't been able to get a hold of a computer until now. Feel free to leave an opinion on this chapter. Sorry it is a bit rough.
Don't worry will be finishing this story soon :)

Enjoy.

Hurting

I awoke feeling well rested. I had had no nightmares. The voice that has been haunting my dreams didn’t appear. It seems I had made a blanket out of my welcome mat. I got up and dusted myself off noticing my hoof felt a lot better but still hurt, it was early morning I could tell that without even looking at my clock, as the sun was only just rising.

I felt different today, whether it was because I had an amazing yet uncomfortable sleep or some other miracle. But I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of me. I felt rejuvenated. As I made myself breakfast I turned my music on and got lost in the beats.

I felt happy for the first time in a long while, I came to a realisation while my oats warmed. I no longer felt guilty. I no longer felt ashamed and I no longer cared. All my life I have been the under dog. All my life no pony has ever done me a real favour. In then end it is all the same. I am abandoned.

“I’m glad to see you are finally relaxing and letting loose. I guess healing your hoof and soul somewhat helped too.”

I threw my glass of milk I had just poured against the ceiling.

“I love scaring little ponies in the mornings!” The Draconequus clapped his hands together.

“How did you get in here Discord?” I remember visiting his statue as a filly. I have never actually met him nor have I seen him since.

“I was told to keep an eye on you,” he then grabbed his eye and put in on my head giggling, “And that’s what I’m here to do! Although Miss Berry you are one pony I’d been watching for quite some time before.” He smirked.

I flung his eye away which he caught and popped back in, “Who told you to?! And are you the one that has been stalking my dreams?!” I shouted.

“Now that is interesting, I did not know that you were having trouble sleeping? And unfortunately I can not tell you who gave me this mission.”

“Why not?” I asked defensively.

“More to the point, your dreams… describe them to me.”

“No!” I said and started to stomp to my room.

“Why not? I could help!” He followed.

“No! Because you wont tell me who asked you to watch over me!” I was almost to my room.

“That’s not fair! I’m only here to help you! Not terrorise you.” He pleaded.

“No!” I stopped and turned to him and slammed the door in his face.

“You are acting like a filly!” he yelled from outside my room.

“I have to get ready for school.”

After an hour of showering, brushing my teeth, styling my mane and wasting time I emerged from my room to see a comfortable discord laying on my couch.

“You take a long time to get ready.” He grumbled.

I huffed and ate my now cold oats.

After ten minutes of awkward silence he gave in. “Fine I will tell you on one condition.”

I glared at him waiting for him to continue.

“You tell me everything that goes on in you life. When ever I ask. It is essential I know.” He smirked mischievously.

I pondered this for a moment. There wasn’t really much bad that could come from it, He could help, and I’m sure I could just not tell him some things.

“No. I will know if you lie to me. I am the king of lies…” he poked his tongue out.

“No… I have the right to leave out some things.”

“How dare you keep negotiating! Fine whatever! Just tell me the bad things… like the dreams, I don’t give a shit.”

“You first.”

He scoffed at this, “You play a tough game Miss Berry, Fine! It was a pony of royal blood that asked me to watch over you.”

“Who?” A pony of royal blood? But why would any royalty be interested in a pony like me.

“I will give you one more question, pick wisely, who… or why?” he snickered, “But first, describe me your dreams.”

“They are always in a dark place. It is pure silence half the time.” I felt a chill run up my spine. “It sounds evil, but it says it wants the best for me. It says it gave me my cutie mark… as a gift? I don’t know maybe it is my imagination…”

Discord was in deep thought, “Hmmm… It is strange, I will look into it more. Now to answer your question. What do you choose?”

“I actually don’t want to know anymore. You can tell me another time, I have to get to school!” I was going to be on time today and nothing was stopping me! Even though I really did want to know who had asked him to watch me.

As odd of an occurrence that was it wasn’t stopping me. Nor did it phase me as much as it would have another pony. Today I was in an amazing mood!

I arrived at school with time to spare, I wiped the sweat from my brow and was excited to start the new day. I tucked some things into my locker and as I shut it a pony I didn’t want to see appeared next to me smirking. I opened my locker and closed it again. Multiple times.

“Take the magic trick back, do not want!” I said to my locker in frustration.

“Hey loser!” Silver Spoon said, I thought I noticed her blush, “Looks like you are no longer a blank flank, welcome to the land of big ponies.” She snickered.

I looked around her and saw no pony standing behind her to back her up, I smiled, “Where is your little friend?” I asked.

“None of your business!” she spat back, this pony had some real attitude problems.

“Well that’s good to know, know make like a good dog and go run to her or something, because my life is none of your business!” I took a step toward her to show I am in no mood for her crap. I am happy today and I plan on staying that way.

She gulped hard and I could see it in her eyes she was deciding if she should retreat or not. She didn’t, she took a step closer, “What are you going to do huh?”

I glared at her, “I don’t even know you, I don’t give a shit about what you think or say. If you don’t step away right now I will kick your plot so hard, the stick you have shoved up your ass will break in two.” I stated.

She gasped, looked around to see if anypony had been listening, which there was about fifteen ponies gathered around our little spectacle, I even heard one pony yell, “Are you going to take that?!” That seemed to set Silver Spoon off.

Before I had time to react she had already knocked me to the ground. Because she caught me off guard she got a good swing in. I managed to shield myself from the next hit but at the cost of damaging my freshly healed hoof, she had gotten the upper hoof by pinning me to the ground. She pinned my forelegs down with her knees and was sitting on top of me, this gave her the utmost advantage as she swung repeatedly, smashing me directly in the muzzle. I was all for fair fights, but one I was caught off guard and two, I was sure that is if I didn’t do something soon she was going to cause serious damage to my face… or brain.

I am not proud of what I did next but it was necessary. I magically engulfed her mane and pulled her backwards off of me. I held her within my grasp until I could get to my hooves. Mainly because that had just about spent all of my energy. I let go as I swung connecting my good hoof to her jaw and making her lose balance hitting the floor hard. I didn’t want to hit her in the eyes because of her glasses. That would risk glass going in her eyes and my hoof. I could taste my own blood and I started to feel dizzy. But seeing the rage in her eyes as she got up I knew the only way she was backing down was if somepony broke us up. Which wouldn’t be happening soon because a lot of ponies were cheering for more.

She took a swing at me, but I dodged just in time and gave her an uppercut she would feel in the morning. She grunted loudly and went into a rage of just swinging frantically, I dodged as many as I could but they were coming too fast. One connected to my forehead at the base of my horn, at the exact same time I connected a hit to her left cheek.

I fell to the ground. As did her glasses. She towered over me and I looked up. I had never been in so much pain. She turned around and I thought I was over. I thought she was about to walk away, it was obvious she had beaten the crap out of me. That was when she laughed wickedly and raised her hind legs. I was wrong I found that out as she bucked my face so hard it sent me flying down the hall. The last thing I remember was muffled voices yelling something about something… yeah I was knocked out.

I awoke groggy and feeling like a pile of dung. It hurt as I opened my eyes, the light was so bright and my eyes were so sensitive. I was cold and in a bed that wasn’t mine. My hearing was muffled and I could barely hear the beeps of the hospital machine next to me. Yeah… I got bucked up!

I tried to talk but as I tried to move my jaw tears came to my eyes and I made a tiny gurgling squeaky sound. My vision fixed itself and my hearing was almost normal. I noticed some flowers by my bed, and wondered who dropped them by as they were the same ones my secret admirer used.

I also noticed at the end of the bed a chair dragged nice and close with a sleeping Twilight Sparkle leaning on the bed. I immediately felt stupid. I felt embarrassed. I had still not confronted her about what I did. But I guess it doesn’t matter now. It was only a peck after all. I doubt she would be here if she didn’t forgive me. I noticed they were pumping a lot of things into me. As I pulled myself up the bed I accidently rustled too much and awoke the sleeping mare.

She groggily turned her head to the side sighing as she did so, only half opening her eyes. Then her eyes widened in what seemed like disbelief and she rushed up and hugged me tight. This caused a lot of pain on my behalf and once again I made the unflattering noise. She tried to pull away but I held her close letting her know it was okay.

Eventually she pulled away and I noticed a tear sliding down her face, “You know taking on a earth pony that teaches self defence in her spare time was stupid, she may not look like much but silver spoon is a tank.” She tried to laugh but it died instantly.

How was I to know that? She really doesn’t seem like the type… I should have used magic. I grunted in response which didn’t hurt… too much.

“They didn’t know when you would wake up… they weren’t even going to let me in here until I got permission from the princess…”

I tried to give her a look that would clearly say I’m sorry. I don’t know if she got the message.

“There is a note pad and pen on the desk if you really need to say something-“

I looked at it and tried to levitate it to myself, but was rewarded with searing pain running through my skull, it was like I was being electrocuted.

“Don’t try to use magic!” Twilight yelled too late, “Your horn uh… well it cracked…”

She hoofed me the note pad and pen, I knew straight away my hoof was in a cast, yeah so much for healing it Discord! But I was determined and without magic, I would be a very messy writer.

I wrote on the pad, ‘How long was I out?’

“A week exactly.” She answered and watched as I wrote more.

‘What is happening with Silver Spoon?’

“Well…” She looked away from me as she spoke, “At first she tried saying it actually was self defence… I even heard that her father tried paying off the school and the authorities. Unfortunately for her there were quite a few witnesses… it was a shame none of them jumped in to stop her…” She grunted in frustration, “You are lucky the Scootaloo jumped in and helped while her friends ran and got a teacher.”

I underlined my question again and raised an eyebrow.

“Well right now her appeal is being looked at and she will be lucky if she doesn’t get charged with attempted murder… But in the end it lies on you what you do.”

I stared at the note pad for a long while. Attempted murder? I wouldn’t call it that, I have been in plenty of fights… this one was just a lot rougher then usual is all.

‘I don’t want her to be charged with anything.’ I wrote and looked at Twilight waiting for a response.

“But she almost killed you Berry! Do you even understand that?!” She looked at me pleadingly.

I tapped what I had just written again.

“Why? She was out of control! She deserves punishment!” Twilight said angrily.

‘I egged her on just as much. I deserve punishment. And I got it.’

“But she didn’t other then a few bruises! She took your magic Berry!” Tears were free falling from Twilights eyes.

I did my best to smile, ‘No she didn’t. I will be fine, the only thing she truly hurt was my pride.’

“I don’t understand how you can be so forgiving…” she stroked my cheek ever so lightly.

‘Who left these flowers?’ I wrote changing the subject.

“I don’t know… they were here even before I got here.” She said looking at them confused, she lifted the card out from in them and read, “Get well soon, I will be counting the days until you are better, Love your Secret Admirer.” She frowned as she said the last of it.

I felt a blush come on and I looked away from Twilight.

“Somepony is popular.” She laughed but it sounded forced.

The air in the room became tainted with awkwardness. I heard her sigh sadly and felt a pang of guilt in my chest.

‘Are you okay?’ I scribbled.

“Yeah… I’m sorry PassionBerry.”

I tilted my head to the side, I didn’t need to write this down.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who it was… and it was wrong of me to put all of my problems on you.”

‘No. I’m sorry. You have nothing to apologise for. I shouldn’t have done what I did. It was wrong. You were vulnerable.’

“Don’t apologise. You were being there for me. Thank you. But I don’t think I am ready for that… You are a great friend Berry… but you are not emotionally mature yet. And you have other commitments you need to tend to.”

I pondered this for some time, my heart was breaking but she was right. I'm really not emotionally mature for any kind of relationship I may have hoped to have with Twilight Sparkle. She was getting over her heart breaking and it needed time to mend.

‘Thank you.’ I smiled genuinely at her.

“Well I am glad you are now awake, now I have a few things I need to go tend to, did you need anything?”

I shook my head, she hugged me gently and like that she was gone. I was left alone in the cold empty room. I sunk deep into the bed, I worried about if Scootaloo was okay, I should have asked Twilight. I’m sure she would have told me if anything bad had happened. Then I worried if she finished our project. I felt guilty I had not finished it with her.

As time passed a nurse came in every now and then to check on me, or to change my medicine over. I soon started to try and get my magic working again, almost every time it drove me to tears but I eventually managed to levitate one fallen petal from the bouquet of flowers I had received. This brought tears of happiness to my eyes. My magic hadn’t abandoned me.

I eventually got a nurse to play some music in my room. She didn’t mind as she felt it made the whole room feel less like a prison. I couldn’t agree more.

It was late afternoon by the time I got a knock at my door, it was nurse Redheart, “You have a guest, would you like them to-“

I nodded, finally something to relieve my boredom!

To my surprise, Scootaloo, AppleBloom and Sweetie Belle walked in all taking a seat close to the bed.

I quickly wrote, ‘I’m sorry.’ And shoved it at Scootaloo.

She had what remained of a black eye, it was almost healed but I could still see it.

“What!” She laughed, “Don’t be! I’m sorry I wasn’t there to back you up!”

The all nodded in agreement. I shrugged.

“Twilight told us you were dropping the charges, why?!” asked Sweetie Belle.

I showed them the previous paper saying I egged her on, they just shook their heads.

“That still don’t mean she can just get away with it!” AppleBloom stated.

“Yeah!” the other two chimed in.

I shrugged and wrote, ‘It’s my decision in the end. Anyway can we talk about something else? Scootaloo did you get the assignment done in time?’

“Seriously? It was a potato clock there wasn’t much to it.” She said in a cocky tone.

“We would have been here sooner but… School. Everypony won’t shut up about the fight, so don’t expect to hear nothing about it when you come back.” Sweetie Belle spoke.

“But don’t worry! I will be walking to school with you from now on.” Scootaloo stated and blushed.

‘I’m not a foal. I can walk myself.” I grunted and shoved a pad in her face.

She replied by poking her tongue out at me and giggling.

‘But seriously guys, Thank you.’ I tried my best to hold a tear back. Damn dust!

They all Daww’d at me and gently gave me an awkward group hug.

“Well we better get going mah sister will be wonderin’ where I am.” AppleBloom said and headed for the door, “It was good to know you are gettin’ better Berry!”

Sweetie Belle soon followed, “Yeah I have a curfew and I’m about to be late!” she panicked and chased after Apple Bloom, I heard her yell bye down the hall.

I looked questioningly at Scootaloo, she smiled down at me “I have absolutely no where to be.”

She closed the door, something the nurses never did, and turned my music up. Sitting back in her chair she closed her eyes and listened to the beat of Vinyl Scratches music. I soon lost myself in the music to.

About three songs in she turned the music down so it was just background noise. I raised an eyebrow. She ignored it.

She stared at me for a while. I was trying to read on her face what she was thinking, but she was a blank book.

“Are you in pain?” she asked.

I shrugged, I wasn’t at the present time, but when I moved it would send jolts of pain.

She leaned over the bed and hugged me, not with her fore arms, but with her wings. It was the most gentle hug I had ever received, the feel of her feathers against my coat felt like bliss. She held me tight against her for a long moment then released me gently.

“Don’t do that again…” she said, “You stupid gorgeous mare, don’t ever do something so naïve again!” she said angrily, “Silver Spoon had almost killed you, ya know?”

I nodded.

“Over what? A stupid taunt… that pony was never able to control her temper!” She gritted her teeth.

I raised an eyebrow mockingly.

“I can control my temper! I would never harm another pony! I am nothing like-“

It took all of my energy to grab Scootaloo mid rage, I pulled her close to myself and brought her in for a kiss, although it was painful it was worth it. She melted into my hooves as she kissed me back and I was once again breathing in the smell of passion fruit… not much dirt this time. It was a light kiss that seemed to last forever. I could feel how red her cheeks were as the heat radiated off of them and onto mine.

I pulled away as the pain started to become too much. She looked as if she had just flown to the moon and back.

“That was… unexpected…” she said confused but as red as a tomato.

I sat back and gently smiled. I was too tired to write anymore. I think she noticed this.

With a heavy sigh she said, “I will leave you to get some rest okay, but I will be back first chance I get!” she finished enthusiastically.

Giving me a quick peck on the forehead, avoiding my horn, she left. But not before turning my music up. With that I had a feeling I would be getting no more visitors for the day. Soon enough I was drifting into a deep and well needed slumber.

I awoke early morning feeling we rested and a little better. My jaw didn’t hurt so much anymore it just felt stiff. I could finally muster up enough courage to stretch out my body, it felt painfully good. I could feel a weeks worth of being cramped up in bed through my body as I stretch, feeling my back crack felt unbelievably good.

I wanted to get up. As I started to pull myself up and about to swing down onto the floor a nurse quickly rushed in. I sighed in frustration as she gently pushed me back into bed and tight tucked the sheets.

“Ain’t taking no chances with you right now love. You can walk about tomorrow.” Nurse Redheart smiled triumphantly.

I groaned, Evil mare.

“How is your jaw feeling today?” she touched her hoof gently underneath and I lifted my head for her to get a better look, “Looks much better, I take it you can talk now grumble bum?” She giggled at this.

“It only hurts mildly.” I huffed.

“Well good, because I am sure there will be plenty of visitors for you today!” She said cheerfully, dusting the fallen rose petals into her hoof, “I will be back to check on you later.”

I kicked at the tight tucked sheets, “Damnit!” I had forgotten to ask her to at least put some music on.

After forty five minutes of staring at the wall I was growing impatient, and I was in a cheeky mood.

I started to groan with frustration to boredom, very loudly. The groans only grew louder the more I was ignored by the passing nurses and occasional doctors.

Soon enough nurse Redheart stormed in, “Berry! You are disrupting the other patients, what is the matter?!”

I released one more groan for good measure, this made her stomp her hoof, “I’m Booorrrreeedddd!”

“What do you want me to do about it?! And stop making those sounds, anypony will think you are dying!” She said angrily.

“Can you turn my music on…” she looked at me incredulously, “Pwease!” I gave my best pout.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “Fine but not very loud… your taste in music is… well yes.” She turned it on quickly and spun on her hoof. I noticed her stop just outside the doorway, “Oh thank Celestia! Please go in!”

All of a sudden Rarity was shoved into the room and the door slammed shut behind her.

She gasped, “Oh my, what did you do to that poor mare?” she teased.

“I only wanted my music on!” I said offended just as I noticed Rarity about to turn it off, “Seriously!?” I yelled to stop her.

“Ugh, you actually like those sounds?” she shrugged and walked over to the chair by my bed.

“Yes I do! Anyways what can I do for you Miss?” I asked as she leaned on my bed getting a closer look at me.

“I just came by to see how you were…” she paused and raised a hoof to stroke my cheek with the utmost gentleness, “I heard you were awake, more to the point, how are you?”

“Well other then being more then a little bit restrained,” I made a show of it by trying to lift my hind legs but that darn nurse must be a tight tucking pro, “And a little sore, I would say I’m pretty dandy!” I smiled.

“I also hear you are dropping the charges?”

I shrugged, “I asked for it.”

She raised her eye brow quizzically but shook her head, “It is your decision. Just do what you feel is right.”

I sighed into her hoof as it was still caressing my cheek. She retracted it quickly after though coughing awkwardly.

She looked at any point in the room but at me, soon she noticed the flowers, “Oh these are pretty,” she levitated the card over to herself reading it. She frowned slightly at it and put it back.

Sensing the tension in the room was becoming too much, “Is something wrong Rarity?”

She had been in deep thought, she sighed inwardly, “You Berry… I tried forgetting about you and then this happened… and it’s all my fault!” She threw herself around me and started to cry.

I stoked her mane to the best of my ability but I was distracted by the thought of being crushed… and confusion at her statement.

“I wished for you to disappear!” It was like something sharp pierced me directly in the feelings, “You almost did! Oh Berry! I’m so sorry!”

I laughed and this made her pull back confusedly, “You have nothing to be sorry for! The amount of times I have wished for something to be gone, well what are the chances? Plus no way was this going to be the end of me!” I said triumphantly.

“But-“

I put my hoof over her mouth, “Do you want me to beg for you to drop it? Because you can ask Nurse Redheart, it is the last thing you want.”

This made her laugh, and her smile brought a fire to my heart. It felt good to make ponies laugh and smile, I had had enough of making them cry, especially Rarity.

“I love it when you smile.” I blurted my thoughts aloud.

She blushed fiercely. She was still holding on to me as she leaned in, “I keep trying to forget you Berry… But you keep saying things like that and I will never let you go.”

I felt her hot breath on my muzzle. Her lips were so close to mine I could almost feel them. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to take her then and there. My body was aching to feel her. Most of all my body was aching for her affection. But all to quickly she pulled away, giving a quick wink.

She started to head for the door and all the scenarios I had just imagined in my dirty mind shattered. I had to remind myself it was for the best.

“Sorry Berry but I really must go now. I have an appointment at the spa with a close friend which I really mustn’t be late for.” She waved a hoof goodbye and with that she was gone, leaving me to my boredom once again.

Moments passed which soon turned into hours. I had listened to the same music track a hundred times now and it was starting to frustrate me.

There was a light knock at my door and excitement over another visitor eased me from my foul mood.

“Come in!” I called all too eagerly, the pony made their way in, “Rarity! Back so soon? How was the…”

My heart sank. I wanted to run. I wanted to evaporate into nothing. She was followed close behind a mare I had not seen since some very unfortunate circumstances. I had been avoiding this. Fluttershy had walked in behind Rarity, she had made no eye contact with me. Only the floor. She was lucky.

Rarity closed the door swiftly behind Fluttershy and made her way to the chair at the end of the bed. It seemed they both were keeping their distance.

I gulped hard trying to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. I was glad the heart rate monitor was no longer hooked up.

“The spa was cut short.” Rarity answered my earlier question, “It seems you have been quite the mare about town Berry.” She said sourly.

I looked away. There was so much I wanted to say but none of it would come out right. How was I to know they were friends? How could I have known what I was doing at the time was wrong?

“It seems you have to apologise to both of us. And Fluttershy has something she needs to ask of you. But you first.” Rarity stated.

This angered me. I don’t know why but it did, “I have to apologise?! For what? I didn’t know she was your friend at the time and even then she was there for me when I was confused and alone. I thought I had said everything to you that needed to be said Fluttershy but I guess I was wrong. I am sorry for walking out that morning, and I am sorry for coming between you and your marefriend.” I noticed her fidget and finally look up at me.

“But Rarity I don’t really think that you have a right to be mad at me. I didn’t even know you at the time!” Tears freely rolled down my cheeks, I kept my composure as best as I could. “Fluttershy, what we did was amazing and magical, but it was a mistake.”

Fluttershy appeared to be having a hard time bearing all of this and burst out in tears at my last statement. Rarity was soon hugging the mare trying to calm her down while glaring daggers at me.

“What did you expect?” I shot at her.

“You could be a little more sympathetic you know!” Rarity shouted, “Rainbow Dash just broke up with her!”

“I’m not a fucking mind reader!” I stated.

Fluttershy looked up at Rarity, “C-can you wait outside, I need to speak to her alone…” she hiccupped the last few sobs.

Rarity sighed and dragged herself away, she reached the door before giving Fluttershy a reassuring look… and me a deathly glare, then closed the door behind herself.

We sat in awkward silence for a few moments, the only sounds to be heard was our heavy breathing.

“What happened?” I broke the silence.

“No pony wishes more then I that our fling didn’t happen…” she said meekly, “But in a way I guess it needed to happen… Rainbow Dash and I are not broken up… exactly… just on a break.” She looked away.

“She needs time to heal… to renew her feelings towards me, and well… to explore with other ponies.” She looked at the flowers sitting beside my bed and sighed, “I knew it.”

“Knew what?” I looked between her and the flowers.

“PassionBerry, if you want to help repair the damage you-“ I glared at her, “-and I did… You are going to have to have sex with Rainbow Dash.”

My jaw dropped and I winced in pain.

“What!?”

Choices

We had been sitting in silence for ten minutes now. Neither of us wanting to look at the other. I noticed her open her mouth to say something.

“No!” I screeched for the third time stopping her in her tracks.

“But-“ She pleaded.

“No!” I said even louder, “Fluttershy there is no way that is happening!”

“You already agreed to meet her!” She stated.

“That was when I didn’t know who it was leaving the flowers! That doesn’t count!”

I heard her choke on a sob, “But if you don’t do this… nothing will ever get fixed!” She threw herself onto my bed and pleaded holding her hooves together. She was begging.

“Fluttershy…” I grabbed her by the chin and made her sit upright again, “Please don’t make me do this…” My heart was being pushed to its limits.

On one hoof Fluttershy desperately needed me to help mend her relationship, she needed me to fix the mistakes I had caused between her and her lover. I did owe her that. But on the other hoof if I did this I knew it would hurt a lot more ponies… Ponies I cared about. Scootaloo had mentioned Rainbow Dash being her idol… And Twilight… I couldn’t even bring myself to think of what would happen then. I would lose a lot more then I would gain. I was being selfish, but it’s okay to be selfish every once and a while… isn’t it?

“I should never have even said anything!” Fluttershy shouted. She threw her hooves down hard on the bed in anger and I flinched. I was vulnerable in this state and even a shy little thing like Fluttershy was making me nervous.

“I’m sorry! But you aren’t even thinking of me? Are you?” I asked.

“Of coarse I am! But for once I just don’t care!” She took a few breaths and settled back into her seat, “PassionBerry… Have you ever been so in love with a pony that it hurts, that when they are around your whole world is a brighter better place…” She looked at me with pleading eyes.

I slowly shook my head and swallowed hard.

“I would do anything for that mare. Anything! I had a moment of weakness that I will never forgive myself for… Can you… Can you just think about it?” she asked for the final time.

I looked up at the ceiling as she made her way to the door, “I will think about it… For you Fluttershy…” I sighed.

I heard the door open and soon click shut, I still didn’t feel alone. Maybe it was because I wasn’t.

I looked at the end of the bed to see Rarity still giving me the same glare as when she had left.

“Seriously! Shove a sock in it!” I said to her.

She gasped at my outburst repeatedly and took a seat by my bed.

“What do you want? I really am not in the mood for this drama right now.”

“Berry… I’m sorry for my attitude, I guess I know how Sweetie Belle felt… Jealousy eat your heart out right?” She forced a smile, but it only made me grimace.

“Why did you bring her knowing her intentions?” She raised an eyebrow quizzically, “C’mon like you don’t know!” I pointed my hoof in the direction of the flowers.

“Ah… Well in all honesty when I recognised the hoofwriting I was still unsure… but I guess you just answered that for me…” I wanted to hit something, she seems to have just forgotten how she treated me, “What happened Berry?” She asked.

“Good question.” I deflected back at her.

“Hey! I reacted the way any other pony would in my situation! I can’t be blamed if I care about you…” She facehoofed, my heart sank, “As much as I try not to…” She mumbled to herself.

“I’m sorry… I just have a lot on my mind…” I rubbed my temple, avoiding my horn… that turned out to be much trickier then expected and I grazed my hoof at the base briefly causing a surge of magic to erupt in my mind sending my head into a monster of a migraine. I cried out, while Rarity scrambled onto my bed.

“Berry! Do you need a nurse?” She panicked.

I held my hoof up, “I’m fine! Just give me a moment…” I lay back further into the stale hospital pillows and held my eyes shut tightly, waiting for the pain to subdue.

“Berry, what has you so stressed?” She asked warmly. When she used a tone like that her voice soothed my mind.

“Life.”

“Now come on, you were fine this morning, and surely my little tiff at you wouldn’t have gotten to you this much… What happened with you and Fluttershy? Or…” Her cheeks flushed red, “Do I not need to know?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter!” I joked, the magic induced migraine somewhat disintegrating, “I just… if I tell you just promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t jump to conclusions.”

“I promise.” She put a hoof to her chest.

“Fluttershy wants me to sleep with Rainbow Dash…” I paused to look at her expression, it hadn’t changed, “Apparently she feels it will heal the damage we did to her relationship…”

Rarity nodded and waited a moment for me to continue, but I didn’t. I wanted her opinion before I said anything more.

“Well, it is an odd favour to ask, the real question is here do you want to do it?”

She didn’t ask if I was going to do it. She asked if I wanted to… something I would have hoped Fluttershy would have taken into account, but she really didn’t care about my consequences.

“No. I don’t want to do it.”

“You sound uncertain about it.”

“Because I did ruin her relationship… but I know if I do it, I will hurt much more ponies in the process… I’m stuck Rarity! Between a rock and a hard place and I just don’t know what is right and what is wrong.” I was defeated.

“In the end Berry the decision comes down to you… I mean, she hasn’t truly confronted you about what she wants, for all we know it could be just to talk with you in the end.”

“But Fluttershy said-“

“That is true but who knows?” I knew Rarity was only trying to help me through the situation but it was doing little. But she did have a point maybe I should just see where it takes me.

“You are a wise old mare aren’t you?”

“How dare you I am not old!” she glanced quickly at me and poked her tongue out, “Well maybe in comparison to a little foal like you!” she poked jokingly at my ribs.

I cried out in pain, she panicked and threw herself onto me, “I’m sorry did I hurt you!?”

I poked my tongue out, she fell for it hook, line and sinker. “Only my lungs! Fatty!” I winked as she had thrown herself on top of me.

She leaned down teasingly, “You are just full of compliments today.”

Once again I was threatened to be pushed over the edge as the all too familiar ache came back. Along with something in the back of my mind screaming to kiss this mare sitting on top of me. I wanted to so badly it was starting to hurt. Her teasing was starting to put my lust meter over the edge.

“You are gorgeous when you blush…” Rarity breathed and once again I could almost feel her lips on mine.

Pushed. I threw my hoof around her head and pulled her close to me. Our lips touched and we simultaneously moaned into each others mouths. I lost control, I needed Rarity in the best way. I lightly bit her bottom lip and she squeaked as she hugged closer to me. I felt no pain. I knew I should have felt it in my muzzle, at least in my cheeks, but there was nothing but the blood rushing to them to feed my fierce blush. All I really felt was lust. I breathed in deeply I wanted her smell to stick. I pulled her mane as I drove my tongue into her mouth. That was when I felt it, something wet hit my cheek.

I opened my eyes to look up and see her deep blue eyes laced with tears. She ripped herself out of my embrace. “I-I can’t!” She cried as she ran to the door, “I’m sorry Berry…” With that she was gone, slamming the door behind her.

The first feeling that registered was anger. I was angry that I had not had release. Regret soon took over as I realised I should have said something. I should have been there for her. I shouldn’t have taken her like that. I don’t think either of us were ready for it.

“Stupid PassionBerry!” I said aloud. Why is it all so complicated? Why can’t I just fix things?

Soon enough I fell asleep, I was emotionally exhausted for one day and the strain of anymore visitors would probably kill me. For better or worse.

I awoke the next day feeling well… to put it bluntly…horny. I had not only been graced with everything that happened yesterday but my wishes had been granted in my sleep, and by the way it looked, I had had one sweaty night. I needed to shower. In my own shower.

I noticed a note had been left on my bedside, I read it aloud, “Hey Berry, I just thought I would leave this saying I stopped by but you were asleep. I’ll be by tomorrow! –Scootaloo”

“Nurse!” I called out… and after waiting five minutes nurse Redheart begrudgingly walked in.

“Music?” She asked unenthusiastically.

I shook my head, “Nope! I want to go home.”

It was very sudden. Within moments she had gotten all the release forms sorted and even a wheel chair arranged, ignoring my protests that I don’t need one, “Better safe then sorry… It’s more for my benefit…” I grimaced, this nurse really didn’t like me, but it was fun to tease her.

Luckily for me the hospital was close to town, so I knew once I made it to the heart of the town square I would know where to go from there. Despite the looks I would get from ponies that passed everything seemed to be going fine. I fought the urge to stop by the boutique as I passed, and the Library. I just wanted to get home.

I came across a rocky path that was hard to control the chair on. But there was no avoiding it, as it was the path that led to my home. After fifteen minutes of struggling to get onto this path I had almost given up.

“Allow me.” All of a sudden I was being pushed up and along the path. This caught me by surprise and I almost fell straight out of the chair.

I soon noticed it was a royal guard assisting me. For some unknown reason my cheeks flushed red. He wore golden armour and was pure white, I could not see his mane under his helmet, but he had eyes that a mare could get lost in, they were a beautiful shade of Hazel.

“I-It’s okay!” I tried to assure him but he continued his efforts without giving me a second glance. I felt rude for staring at the stallion so I looked down into my lap as he pushed me along.

I had always looked up to the royal guards ponies… As a little filly I even wanted to be one. My dream died with my constant rejections of being adopted. If no pony wanted me as their daughter who would want me protecting them? It was a silly excuse, but when you’re young they are the things that can easily crush a dream.

I was sick of sitting in awkward silence as this kind pony pushed me along.

“Thank you…” I said meekly, he made no effort to even try to respond, “What is your name?”

He ignored me and kept pushing.

I sighed, “That’s far enough, I should be right from here.”

For a split second I thought I saw a flash of disappointment. I grabbed out a bit and tried giving it to him, but he shook his head and slowly backed away.

“No ma’am. You can repay the favour another day!” He smiled brightly before breaking into a huge gallop.

“But I don’t even know your name…” I whispered more to myself.

It wasn’t long before I ditched the chair in my yard and made my way inside my small cozy home. Home… something that was foreign to me. But all the same this felt as close as I would get to having somewhere to call my own.

It felt different as I threw my things down and made my way for the couch. Something wasn’t quite right and the more I thought about it the less comfortable I was beginning to feel.

My ears flicked in nervousness as I heard rustling come from down the hall. From my bedroom. In a situation like this I wanted to run, but I was tired and weak. I had hoped it may just be Discord, or my imagination playing tricks on me.

My mouth acted before I could stop it, “Hello?” I called and instantly panicked as the rustling itself became panicked.

I wanted to hide but it seemed there was no escaping the fact that there was somepony in my house. I made my way to my room, slowly as to not be too loud but in the end because of my outburst the pony within my room already knew I was in here.

The door creaked as I slowly opened it, adding to the effect. Why me?

As the door was now open it took a moment for my mind to register what was in front of me. In a trail on the floor and spread across the bed were rose petals, there were candles spread throughout the room, but apparently only half of them were lit. I could tell I had come in too early.

“Am I interrupting something?” I asked Cheerilee who was lying on top of my bed in an alluring manner.

A wide blush spread across both her and my face, “I wasn’t even expecting you to be home today in all honesty…”

“Oh! So you were waiting for some other pony?” I teased, “In my house?”

She jumped into an upright less revealing position, “Of coarse not!”

“Well as good as all this looks…” I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror for the first time since the morning of the fight, my face was almost another colour, the bruises still as vibrant and terrible as ever… They almost looked fresh still. On top of that my mane truly did look awful, flat and greasy looking.

“I think I am going to have a shower… Scratch that. I need a shower!” I stated as I made my way for the bathroom, Cheerilee just pouted, “I would really like to know how you got in and all that other silly stuff when I get out though, it really is a nice surprise!”

I was almost at the bathroom when I was interrupted by a sudden screech, “Noooo!”

I was stunned as I looked over at a fearful Cheerilee who wore bright red cheeks, “I-I mean, I don’t mind…” She looked away embarrassed, “I want you dirty PassionBerry.” She said in a very sultry tone.

“But-“ I tried to argue.

“Please Berry!” She sounded so desperate and she had a look of hunger in her eyes.

I sighed, I was fighting my own carnal desires right now. I really did need to clean myself up, but I also really needed some release. This time there was no fighting the voice in the back of my mind. It had already won, it was like watching a movie, nothing I did from then on actually felt like me as my desires finally took a hold of my being and I threw myself on to the bed only to be pinned down by a smirking Cheerilee.

“So you like it dirty?” I said in a voice that didn’t sound like my own.

Cheerilee’s blush darkened as she moaned breathing in my scent, soon she started to lick up my neck, she shivered and pushed herself closer to my body. I wrapped my hooves around her head getting a good grip on her mane as I pulled her face back down to my neck and she gave a tiny lick before biting down hard. I moaned out loud and bit my bottom lip. She started to thrust against my hind leg and I now was feeling just how excited she actually was for all this as she soaked my leg.

I started to reach a hoof down, slowly as to feel her coat and gently enough so I could take in her perfect curves. For a teacher she was very well maintained. She cooed into my neck as I found her most sensitive spot. I rubbed her gently as too moisten my hoof before I parted her lips and began to rub more intensely with each moan that escaped Cheerilee. She tried to muffle her moans in my neck but the vibrations she sent through me only intensified my work further. Sweat began to bead on my forehead. I had so much pressure built up and even with all this I felt as if I wouldn’t be getting any release.

Before I knew it, it was as if Cheerilee knew exactly what I needed. As she licked up my horn, more specifically along the crack, I flinched. I had thought it would be painful but the delicate touch of her tongue was the exact opposite. I cried out in ecstasy, this one move almost made me explode. I doubled my efforts on her slit, only barely pushing my hoof in with each thrust of my foreleg. I was biting my lower lip in anticipation of my release I needed so badly. My free hoof scratching at Cheerilee’s back, as she eagerly licked up and down my horn.

“I-I’m so… close!” I was biting my lip so hard I was surprised I hadn’t broke the skin.

Cheerilee looked down into my eyes briefly, that’s when I lifted my free hoof up. She didn’t even notice nor did she have any clue as to what I was about to do. I brought my hoof down with a hard slap against her flank. She cried out, pulling away from my horn, but before she had any time to react further I quickly grabbed her by the mane and stuffed my horn into her mouth. It was a cheap move but it got the job done, as we both climaxed her moans vibrated through my horn sending a surge of even more pleasure through my body. She thrusted hard against my hoof one last time before slumping down and rolling off from atop of me.

We both just lay there for a few moments, trying to catch our breath.

“That…” She breathed.

“Was amazing?” I finished still feeling quite flustered.

“Hmm… yes…” She said dreamily.

I was the first to get up, “But seriously… now I stink worse… I really do need to get clean now.”

“I’ll be waiting for you in the kitchen Berry… don’t be too long okay?” She smiled.

Did she know who she was talking to? I nodded and headed for the bathroom.

I had been scrubbing myself in the shower for almost thirty minutes now when I heard Cheerilee yell for me to hurry up. I sighed and turned off the shower, I guess I had finished ten minutes ago, I wrapped my mane in a towel and made my way out to the kitchen. I had notice Cheerilee had actually packed up the whole display she had set up in my room. It was sitting in bags by my front door.

“Geez, you take forever Berry…”

“My bad, it had been a while…” I scratched the back of my head.

“Well as much as I’d love to stay Berry, I have to get going, I have a lot of homework to mark over… And I wasn’t expecting you until next week…”

“Oh…” I looked down at the floor awkwardly, “Is what we just did okay?”

“Of coarse it isn’t.” She didn’t even hesitate, “But don’t worry, if we were to get caught you wouldn’t be in any trouble only me… it’s not like you would tell anypony though, right?”

I gulped hard I felt like a terrible pony right now.

“Anyway, it was really nice getting to see you… and making sure you are well, I might have to stop by again some time soon Berry.” She winked.

Making her way to my door she paused, “Oh and I made you something to eat, it isn’t much but I thought you would be hungry after… well yeah.” She blushed fiercely and left.

No goodbye kisses for me? I rolled my eyes at my silly thoughts. I sat down and ate the sandwich Cheerilee had left for me. Finally I had time to think. I was still lost on what I was going to do about the whole Rainbow Dash situation. Talking to Twilight about it was out of the question. But maybe if Rarity figured out it was Rainbow’s hoofwriting… I facehoofed, Twilight probably already knows… and I made her read it out to me!

I burped out aloud and leaned back in my chair as I finished the last bite of the sandwich. Turns out I was a lot hungrier then I had originally thought. After I had made and finished my third sandwich, I fell onto my couch lazily and sighed.

What was I going to do now? I wasn’t really in the mood to be by myself… especially after what I just did with Cheerilee. It has made me want company more then ever. I thought getting release would actually calm my libido but it now feels worse then before.

I frowned as I felt the beginnings of a migraine seep it way into my head.

“Great!” I said sarcastically, slumping further into the cushions of the couch.

Soon enough my prayers were answered as a knock came booming from my door, at least now I was comfortable having other ponies look at me.

I made my way to the door slowly, before I could fully open it hooves were flung around my neck. But I could tell who it was just by their smell.

“Scootaloo, fancy seeing you here.” I said jokingly, I had kind of expected to see her because of her letter, I thanked the Celestia she hadn’t shown up earlier.

“You’re lucky I came, I had to walk all the way to the hospital only to find out you had gone home! Berry you do realise how terrible you look? You should have stayed.”

“Ouch.”

“Now lemme in! It’s cold out here.” She pushed pass me and made her way to the couch.

“Please come in.” I noticed the sun was going down, “Hey Scootaloo its going to be dark soon.”

“Your point?”

“Do you plan on walking home in the dark?” I asked as I sat next to her on the couch.

“Yeah, I do it all the time. What? Is some pony worried about lil ‘ol me.” She did a little flutter of the lashes and I laughed so hard I almost fell off the couch.

“Don’t do that again, you will scare ponies.” I teased, she just tsk’d.

“So what’s up?”

“I just wanted to see how you were…”

“Well I’m feeling a lot better! I can actually talk again!” I beamed.

“I noticed…”

An awkward silence fell over the room, soon enough the elephant was quite suffocating.

“How do you feel about me Berry?” She asked.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“You say we are friends one day, and you make yourself quite clear on that, then you spontaneously kiss me! I don’t know what to think now Berry! Are you leading me on or do you actually care for me?” She was leaning towards me eagerly awaiting an answer.

But I didn’t want to give an answer to her, main reason being I didn’t know myself. I guess I had been leading her on, but at the same time I didn’t want her to lose interest in me.

“I do care for you Scootaloo…”

“Then be my marefriend! She exclaimed without warning.

This took me off guard. I hadn’t ever been asked to be in a committed relationship before… maybe that’s because the other mares I have been attracted to are older and they didn’t want to with a teenager. But this was too sudden, and it would cause a lot of problems, after what just happened with Cheerilee, my feelings towards both Rarity and Twilight and not to mention the whole situation with Fluttershy and Rainbow dash.

“I can’t.” I said plainly.

“Why not? So you are leading me on?” I head her voice crack.

“In a way I guess I am, but that is because I don’t want to lose you Scootaloo, and I can’t because my life is a total mess right now.”

“What do you mean? I thought everything was fixed, I mean I know about everything with Fluttershy and Rarity, is there even more then that?”

“You only know small details,” I rubbed my temple, “A lot has happened since all of that…”

“Are you committed to another pony?”

“No. Not exactly…”

“Was there any chance for us PassionBerry?” she asked lips trembling.

“Yes… just not at this point in time…” I said honestly. I could have seen myself dating Scootaloo in another life. I could have seen us becoming so close we were inseparable. But with how everything is, I would need to fix everything before I could let that fantasy fully seep its way into my mind.

She got up and headed for the door stopping just in front of it, “I will wait then… and eventually I will ask you again. I can’t give up on you PassionBerry… I won’t give up…”

And with that she was gone. Only a few seconds passed and I heard rain start to fall hard. I rushed to the door grabbing an umbrella.

“Scootaloo!” I called but I couldn’t see her.

She must have flown home. I made my way back into the house and slumped against the back of the door. What was I going to do with myself? I keep making everything worse without meaning to.

I dragged myself to my room and plonked down onto my bed causing myself some pain.

“PassionBerry, we need to talk…”

“What do you want Discord? And how long have you been here?” I had my face shoved deep into the pillow. I couldn’t be stuffed looking up.

“I would rather not discuss that at this time. Berry you have a serious problem…”

“Ew. Oh and thanks for the tip captain obvious.”

“I’m being serious PassionBerry… You have been cursed.”