I Just want to go home.

by [Letusmoveforward]

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1148

This is our first first Fim fiction! :D

Hey! Do you want to read a epic tale of four men who have to save Equestria!? (No not really..)
It has adventure!
Drama!
Romance! (Sorta)
And most of all… PONIES
So join me of this telling of a Not-so-epic adventure!
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This is our first fan fic and so please give some critique about it.
and please correct wrongs.
So please enjoy :)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-08 16:54:58 UTC

What a Terrible Life

What a Terrible Life.

“Well Jasper I think all the black people should go back to Africa on their plantations with chocolate rivers where drunk themselves in to keep their natural color.” Stated Leo.

“Leo, you are the single person I know who can automatically who can changed a conversation about how your day was to making a racist remark to where my race should go, take a bow.” Said Jasper in a sarcastic tone.

“Well at least he was talking about chocolate rivers in and nice plantations, it could have been worst.” Said Todd meek voice.

A noise of a door opening and closing was heard from the corner of the bar room and out of the bathroom stumbled an Asian man with toilet paper stuck to his shoe trying to get it off. He finally got it off and started walking towards their table.

“Hey, short round!” Shouted Leo, to which he received a swift smack to the back of the head from Jasper. “Ow!”

“He’s a friend of Todd’s I thought I could bring with us without a bunch of racist comments blowing his way.” Japser hissed.

“C’mon guys, do you really have to this in a public bar?”

“Just tell Shaft to stop smacking me Todd.” Leo said in an annoyed tone.

“That reminds me, Jason are you short of words? Or does the Asian fried cat got your tou-“Right then another swift smack to the back of his head. “Ow!” He rubs the back of his head and grumbled “why are you always stifling my creativity…”

Jason only shook his head and wondered why Leo always made hate filled comments towards him and Jasper. But he just shrugged it off and picked up a newspaper and started reading the obituary.

“Can you guys ever shut up?” Said an aged bartender as he sat down the 4 bottles of beer at the table.

“Sorry Patch, well try to behave.”

“Ok, but Jasper?”

“Yes?”

Patched into the table to whisper in to Jasper’s ear “…Make sure you keep pretty boy Leo from whipping out his Marijuana, k’?

Jasper chuckled “I’ll try Patch.” Patch smiled at Jasper and patted him on the back and left.

“What did the hacky sack of skin talk to you about?” Leo inquired.

“Nothing, Leo.” Jasper said with a sigh then took a swig of the beer.

“Ok…”

“…”

“…”

Todd decided to break the silence “Let us make a toast?” he said while raising his bottle.

The guys just looked at him but, Jason set his newspaper down and was the first to oblige. Then Jasper shrugged and raised his too, Leo on the other hand thought it was stupid and took a drink of his beer instead. “To friendship!” Jasper chuckled at his cheesiness, and then clicked their bottles together along with Jason.

The rest of the time at the bar was just Jasper and Leo bickering at each other while Todd was talking to Jason about how his day was. Jason only smiled at most of what he said and he was too in to one article to listen to the other stuff Todd was talking about.

Soon enough they were finished with their beers and left the money on the table of the bar and left.  When they walked out the door a cold wind hit them. It was 3 in the afternoon at New York and also was a cold day. They started to walk down the sidewalk bumping into some people along the way. Soon enough they were half-way to their apartme-

“Guys I gotta take a piss!” Or not.

“Why didn’t you do it at the bar?” said Jasper with an angry expression.

“Well I didn’t have to go then!” Leo said with a pained expression.

“Ok, but where will you go then?”

Leo looked around for a place then spotted an ally and pointed towards it. “There!”

“But then people will see you!”

“Well…” Todd chimed in “We could block him.”

“No.”

“Please!” begged Leo.

“No.”

“C’mon Jasper, we would do the same for you.”

Jason shook his head.

“Ughhh… fine!” Jasper said through his teeth.

The three guys assembled at the front of the alley facing out while Leo was in the back.

“Ahhhhh…” Leo moaned in relief “Thanks guys, I promise not to make any racist jokes for a whole week.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“We-“ Leo was cut off by an illuminating light. Then out of the light a tiny sphere of light emerged. ”AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

“If you’re getting kidney stones Leo were not helping!” Jasper called back not looking.

Leo was rushing to zip his pants back up but then a voice came from the light. “Please, do not fear Human.” It said with a quiet female voice “I am only here to seek help from you and your friends.”

“…What did Patch put in my drink?” He whispered to himself.

“Equestria is in dire need of help from an evil terror that is rising.”

“Err… I bet it is, now if you don’t mind hallucination I need to get go-OoOooO!!!” The light was engulfing his legs with sound that can only be described as a… wub.

“Uhh LeoOOOOOOO!!!” Jasper and the guys looked behind them when they heard that sound and saw Leo being sucked into a light.

“GUYS, HEEELP!!!” Leo cried out.

They rushed down the alley towards him trying to pull him out but the force of the light was too much. “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” Leo was completely gone.

“LEO!” Todd and Jasper cried out while Jason was freaking out. “Guys! We gotta go in there to help him!” Todd said with a scared expression.

“No way!” cried Jasper.

“Fine! Jason?” Todd looked towards Jason.

Jason was still freaking out but he quickly calmed down and stood there for a couple of seconds.

“Please Jason!” Todd pleaded.

Jason finally started to move and looked towards the light and then looked back towards Todd and nodded.

“Thank you! C’mon Jasper!”

“But I ca-“ he was quickly cut off by Todd.

“Well then stay. You ready Jason?” Jason Vigorously shook his head “Ok then!” Todd grabbed Jason “Geronimo!!!” and Jumped in with him

Jasper looked at the portal then looked back out the alley “Well…-“ the portal made a cracking noise and was starting to close “Ahhh screw it, Here I come guys!” He quickly jumped in and as soon as he did the portal closed.

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Random quote of the day...

I'm Orgazmo ~ Trey Parker

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Authors' notes

Introductions for stories are hard we both debated where was this story going to start and how they get to Equestia, we both created the characters we planned this story out for months but never wrote anything down, until now... chapter 2 may come in a few days or weeks depends on how you all feel about this.