Twilight Sparkle, the Sparkle in Eternal Twilight, is Celestina Celeste Sunbless III's most promising student at the Magical Mare Academy. But when three evil ponies from another world invade, threatening to take over the world - and doing a really bad job of following Magical Mare Combat Etiquette - even with the help of all her friends and Her Holiness Celestina and the Darklady Luna Nightmoon, she finds herself pushed into a corner by the Evil Dark Night Valkyrie. Will she survive? Or will the world be taken over by a terrible super-evil mare who can't even speak proper Neighponese? Find out on this episode of TSU HINBA GUN!!!

I will not apologize for writing this. You can't make me, either.

This was written partly to de-rust, partly just for fun, and partly out of Covid delirium. You're welcome.

There's a lot of swearing, a lot of implied sexiness and heaving boobs, and a lot of obnoxious narrated attacks and tropes.