Author's Note
HUZZAH! The shitposting continues!
Royal Pamperer
Today is the day that Princess Celestia tries Anon's scritches.
Ever since the awkward incident a few days ago the humans abilities have intrigued her.
Her brain had been nagging at her for two days straight now, screaming at her that she needed to try Anon's scritches. Eventually she gave in and asked Anon if he could give her some.
Princess Celestia was currently laying on her bed, waiting for Anon to arrive.
Twilight had said that the best place to be petted and scritched was on a comfortable surface, where one could lay down. So Celestia picked the only logical place and decided that it was her queen sized bed.
She glanced at the corner of her room which was practically filled with letters, all sent by said purple Princess.
Celestia smiled at her antics. Twilight had been sending tens of letters in the past few days reassuring her that scritches weren't any kind of drug. Twilight had mentioned even running a few tests on the after effects of scritches, and she had said that they don't correlate to drugs in any way.
A warm giggle escaped her lips as she thought back to the situation a few days ago. She remembered the complete look of relief when Twilight realised that she wouldn't be punished for getting scritches. And the mortified expression when Anon called her Twilight's mother. It was kind of funny in retrospect.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her door.
"Someone named Anon is here to see you your highness." The voice of a guard came from behind the golden door.
"Let him in." Celestia didn't raise her voice but the guard somehow heard her.
The door opened and Anon stepped inside. He slightly adjusted the tie around his neck. He was dressed in black formal clothing and looked quite dashing in it.
The door shut behind him, and the door was bathed in a golden glow. A telltale sign of a sound dampening enchantment reactivating.
Celestia chuckled. "You know, you really didn't have to wear that. This isn't some formal event." Celestia hid her smile behind her hoof.
"Yeah, I know. I just made the mistake of telling Rarity where I was going today." Anon rubbed the back of his head and smiled. "I swear, that mare cannot take no for an answer."
"Yes, but she does mean well. Even if you're overdressed for this situation, you do look good." This time she didn't hide the smirk that spread on her lips.
Anon chuckled. "I thought I was the one that was supposed to be pampering you."
"Well come over here and lets begin." She patted the spot next to her.
Anon sat down next to Celestia and slowly brought his hand atop her head.
He could feel the very interesting feeling of her ever flowing mane between his fingers. He noticed that he could move his had through it as if it was air. Her mane was smooth as silk and had no knots whatsoever.
He spent a few seconds just interacting with her magical mane. He ran his fingers up and down her hair. Eliciting a pleasant hum from the mare.
Celestia felt incredible. The fingers that ran through her godly hair shent shivers down her spine and relaxed her muscles. It was so relaxing that she could barely keep her head up.
"How does your hair do this?" Anon looked down at Celestias face and he had to hold back a chuckle.
She had this small smile on her lips and she was staring off into space, her eyes unfocused.
Anon chuckled. "Would you want me to start now?"
"Huh?" Celestia simply replied. Her eyes regaining some semblance of focus.
A smirk spread on Anons face as he brought both of his hands on the top of her head. One patting and the other giving her scritches behind her left ear. It flicked and then moved to the side, allowing for easier access to the base of her ear.
Her eyes unfocused yet again as she sighed. She could practically feel the accumulated stress being sucked out from her very being.
He could feel Celestia melting at his touch. She leaned her head into his arms. Anon brought his right hand on her chin and started giving small rubs and scritches under her chin.
Eventually it seemed that holding up her head using her muscles was not an option anymore, she put the complete weight of her head on to Anon's palm, which somehow he could hold with one hand alone.
It was like she couldn't even move a single muscle. Her brain was overloaded with bliss, all she could think of was how amazing it all felt.
And then it all ended. Celestia blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes with a fetlock. At some point Anon had laid her head to rest on her bed, somehow she hadn't even noticed.
"So you're finally awake?" Anon smirked. "You fell asleep for a few minutes there, I guess you might have been tired?"
Celestia hid a yawn behind her hoof. "I guess I might have been." Her gaze drifted back to Anon's hands.
Anon raised his right hand up and wiggled his index finger. "Sorry Princess but no more for today."
Celestia pouted and tried leaning her head closer to his hand, which he recoiled from her head. "Why not?" The adorable Princess adorably asked.
"I made the mistake of giving Twilight too many pats and scritches yesterday and she kind of..... Well." He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Well, what?" She cocked her head to the side.
"When I stopped she started begging for more, and when I said I was too tired to continue she kind of started chasing me around her castle trying to get more pats." Anon shrugged. "So pats and scritches might actually be kind of like a drug to you ponies?" He gave Celestia a sheepish smile.
Celestia hummed in thought. "I might have to talk to a few other ponies about this." She brought her hoof to her chin, tapping it a few times. Whatever she was thinking of Anon was sure it was some very profound knowledge that he couldn't even fathom.
"Could I have a few more scritches before you leave?" Her pink eyes bore into Anons very soul. It was nigh impossible to say no to that face. But he couldn't, he shouldn't! He had given enough pats to her already!
"Sorry Princess-"
"Please?" Any more of this and anon would die from type diabetes, he didn't know which type. He just knew it was going to be the worst type.
"I - I really shouldn't." She leaned in closer, her puppy dog like eyes glistened with moisture.
Anon rolled up the sleeve on his suit jacket and checked his bare wrist. "Oh look at the time, I really should be going. I don't want to be late to a very important meeting back in Ponyville." Anon took a step towards the door before he felt the suit of his jacket being pulled. He looked back at Celestia.
"I will not let you leave before you give me five more minutes of scritches." Her eyes narrowed.
Anon audibly gulped.
