Letting Go

by TomCruiseSucks

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Caramel, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 2990

Sometimes the hardest part about losing someone is moving on afterwards.

Ponyville's bravest citizen, one who never had a problem being selfless, has saved the town from a force of evil. At the end of this valiant and successful attempt to save Ponyville, our hero has been gravely wounded. He has come to a realization regarding his fate, but his friends and family having a hard time letting their dear friend and protector go... especially the ones closest to him. But life must go on.

A recent death in the family inspired me to write this fic, in hope that it would help me come to terms with moving on. It did more than I can describe in words. I don't know how many of you have lost a family member to the war in Afghanistan, but I do know that most have lost someone. To all of you my heart reaches out.

Also as a note the picture is not mine: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/187/0/2/cutie_mark__big_mac_by_blanishna-d568rk1.png

Published 2012-10-09 06:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-09 06:50:01 UTC

A Cascade of Raindrops

Raindrops slowly cascaded down the barn's shingled roof. Up above dark cumulus clouds rumbled with faint murmur of faraway thunder. The furious storm had passed over the course of the night, and the resulting morning shower seemed to cast a dreary mood over the surrounding countryside. The raindrops pooled as they struck the hard shingles and slowly trickled down over the edge of the roof, splattering against the damp ground far below. The rain was in no way violet or energetic; it simply set a dull and apathetic mood.

The brick-red barn, for what it was worth, had seen its fair share of rain. Sitting in the middle of a vast orchard, the homely structure had many visible signs of wear-and-tear, as it had been built many years before. For what it lacked in aesthetics the barn made up for in functionality, as it rarely needed the repairs many others did and even kept much of the outside air's humidity outside.

Inside the barn three fillies quietly listened to the rain slowly putter against the rooftop above them. The inside of the structure did not quite mirror its exterior; it was dry and eerily quiet, even bordering on downright comfortable. Unfinished wood panels covered the barren walls, giving the interior a curiously rustic look, but not one that marked it as run-down or neglected. Against the two parallel walls that did not sport doors sat stacks of hay bales, all of which were tied together in groups of three. Overall the barn did give off an aura of comfort and, for lack of a better word, homey-ness.

The filly with the huge red bow stuck one ear in the air as a particularly deep boom of distant thunder echoed through the barn. Tentatively pressing one shoulder against her violet-haired friend, she slowly let out a nervous sigh. Her best friends next to her reacted with their own respective sighs, filling the room to the brim with sorrow like an overflowing teacup. The one with the bow slowly began to whimper, thus eking a combined hug from her friends.

The three had been sitting there all night long, not once nodding off to sleep. Since the accident not one pony around had been able to achieve slumber; not even Rainbow. Only one thing had been on their minds.

Their heads quickly jerked to the right as the door to the barn creaked open to reveal the head of an freckled, orange mare with a flowing, blonde mane. Their eyes alive with hope, the two others tentatively sat up while the bowed one jumped up from her haunches to stare at her sister with hopeful intensity. But upon her sister's visage there was no such expression; it was wrinkled in a state of utter grief. This look seemed to explain everything.

The filly was puzzled for a moment. Gulping down a jumping heart, she quickly stammered out "Is he..." only to be greeted with a slow, deliberate shake of the head from her sister. Her expression was blank for a moment, seemingly unable to comprehend what exactly her sister meant.

Then harsh reality hit the diminutive filly like a freight train to the face.

Stumbling back, she let loose a squeal of utter shock. "No... No... NOO!!! The doctors s-said he was gonna be alright! They a' said so! THEY GAVE THEIR WORD!!!"

Her sister could do nothing but look away as a tear gracefully drifted down her face.

"Applebloom... they did all they could. Honest. They really..." She lost her sentence as another fresh wave of grief hit, once again opening the floodgates. She turned to look at her sister, who was now collapsed on her haunches, staring into her older sister's eyes. Eyes that shed tears like they never had before.

"THEY REALLY TRIED!!!..."

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!!"

Unable to hold her gaze, the stricken filly looked down at her hooves beneath her, tears cascading down her face and onto the ground below. They began to pool between her two forelegs.

Behind her the other two other fillies began to comprehend what news the mare in the barn door had come to bring them. One, the slight pegasus with a purple mane, sat back down on her haunches and stared off into the distance in shock. The other, a curly-maned unicorn filly with a white coat, sunk down into a prone position and slowly began to cry. Nopony had expected this; nopony could have predicted it.

At the forefront of the barn the two sisters had finally broken their transfixing stare to slowly cry to themselves. After a minute or two the near-adult mare at the door deliberately raised her head and wiped the fresh tears from her face with a trembling hoof. Looking back at the fillies she spoke up again. "Ah' reckon they really did try their hardest... It was just too much. You can't just survive a... a... oh Celestia."

Her sister rushed forward to embrace her, the yellow filly's floodgates opening fully. After a few moments of mutual grief, the younger looked up at her sister and asked: "What was... was the last thing he said to you?"

The farmpony looking down ginning at her sister. "He said that he loved us"

At this another forceful wave hit her already weak frame, causing her shaking legs to fail her, sending the farm mare falling to her knees. Around her mud splashed every which way as her legs impacted with the earth, covering both fillies with the sticky earth. All around them the morning shower continued to fall, splashing off her already soaked mane and orange-tan coat.

As the four sat in hopeless disparity for many long moments, the rain began to fall harder and harder. Finally, as the once-harmless shower fully became a raging downpour, the now-muddy mare threw her head up at the sky.

And she screamed.

Her scream, one so piercing that it most likely could be heard for many miles around, was not one of anger. It was not one of revenge, or madness, or even fury.

It was one of pure, concrete, and raw grief.

*******
Two hours earlier
*******

Outside the library the rain was quickly picking up. Many of its now-super sized droplets pinged against the windows, filling the tree with a soft murmur. Inside the building it was precariously dark; even with a few bright candles lit the interior still sported an eerie curtain of twilight. It was as if the surrounding circumstances cast a dreary shadow across the room, blocking out all happiness.

In the center of the chamber sat a hastily assembled operating table that was flown over form the hospital by a couple of pegasi. Normally all medical procedures went on at Ponyville Hospital, but they did not have the necessary equipment to treat magic burns and other such maladies. The owner of the library, Twilight Sparkle, was more than happy to share her own emergency equipment for the rare situations that they were required, as well as her knowledge. Around the table and its semi-conscience occupant stood a tall, chestnut-brown unicorn and Twilight, along with a plethora of nurses and Twilight's personal assistant. Interspersed among them was much of the equipment, including the spectrometer, thaumeter, and magic-detector beacon.

Above them up on the balcony stood a small group of ponies that stood nervously spectating the complex procedure going on in front of them. Among them were a orange mare with a blonde mane, a prissy-looking white unicorn mare, two pegasi (one with a striking rainbow mane and one with a long, flowing pink one), and an elderly earth-pony mare with a pale green coat. Behind them on the bed another earth pony mare sat looking out onto the balcony; she was pink all over, with a flat sheet of fuchsia hair that was her mane and a dreary-yet-hopeful expression. All of these mares save for the pink one silently looked down upon procedure, with each of their respective stomachs churning.

Down below the lavender unicorn was hastily casting spells on the victim's burns, which were stubbornly refusing to react. Sweat occasionally dripped from her brow as she labored over her patient. As she worked frantically to stave off the advancing burns, the mare would occasionally demand a tool or diagnostic from one of the nurses or her assistant, a baby dragon just tall enough to observe the readout of the machines surrounding them. The presiding doctor, who knew little about magical burns compared to the female unicorn, busied himself with replacing the bandages as soon as they became soaked in neon-pink pus. To his judgement things were not looking good for the poor stallion; but the kind doctor could still hope.

As she heard the heart rate monitor begin to slow down, the female unicorn stepped her pace to a blistering speed, trying desperately to save the stallion by throwing everything she knew about the subject. The patient just sat sat there mumbling, seemingly unaware of where he even was or what was was happening around him.

The doctor slowly looked up after replacing one of the bandages, only to find Twilight beginning to cry as she frantically put up spell after spell in a now-desperate attempt to affect the burns. The tears began to trickle down from the side of her eyes and get absorbed by the soft cotton of the surgical mask, making it visibly damp.

In his opinion the doctor was beginning to think that the cause was becoming hopeless; the burns had done nothing but spread as time went on, converting more and more of the stallion's blood into the grotesque pink pus. As this phenomenon increased the stallion's heart rate had been steadily decreasing for a few hours now, and had all of a sudden begun to slow faster. The patient had stopped sweating as well.

Looking up at Twilight, the doctor sighed. "Look, Twilight: we both know this isn't any better. His heart rate has dropped to unsustainable lows considering that he is still somehow conscience; he hasn't released a bead of sweat for well over an hour, and his thaumeter readings have been in the red zone since midnight. I don't know how much long we can keep this up..."

The lavender mare shot up and gave the doctor a teary stare. "We can't give up.. we just... we..."

Slamming her front hooves down on the operation table, the female unicorn gave the doctor an aggressive yet pleading glare. "It's not over! We can save him! He can pull out! HE CAN!!!"

The doctor slowly shook his head. "At this rate he really should be dead already. I don't understand how he is even conscience..."

The enormous stallion's exposed form ruffled slightly. He let loose a weak "ahhhhuuggghhhh....." before falling silent again. While his metabolism and heart rates were holding in the low spectrum of the conscience range, the big colt did't seem to have much left in him. His breathing came shallow and incredibly labored; it was as if somepony was sitting on his chest, cutting off his air supply. The stallion's temperature had also reached a dangerous high of one-hundred-six degrees, which explained the bags of ice interspersed around his body. While somehow he was still alive, the dying pony appeared to be on his last straw.

Suddenly the stallion began to cough, and his heart rate doubled in an instant. The doctor, who had been train for these kinds of situations and had experienced it hundreds of times during his years at the hospital, knew exactly how to act. "Everypony listen up! Nurse Redheart, I want more ice. Nurse Clear Mind, I need a defibrillator ready STAT! Spike, get a bucket. He might start spewing pus."

The female unicorn did not react nearly as collected. Wiping away her drying tears and the fresh ones with a swipe of her foreleg, Twilight leaned over the stallion with a desperate expression. Looking into his eyes, she could barely make out the pony she knew and loved; she could see the life draining from his eyes.

The motions going on around her in the room seemed to stop for her; she couldn't handle him like this. "Hey! HEY! WAKE UP! I KNOW YOU CAN! WAKE UP!!!" Wiping her eyes again, Twilight withdrew a little as his pupils dilated and he descended into another fit of coughing; only this time pus started coming up. As her tears began to drip onto his shoulder, Twilight found herself unable to take away her gaze. Her magic would do nothing for him now; she knew enough about severe magic burns to know that once the heart rate starts to spike it was over.

It was over, and she knew it.

But she couldn't manage to avert her eyes.

The doctor opposite the table to her was currently cleaning up the pink mess the hulking stallion had coughed up, unable to bring himself to keep working on him. He was done, and the doctor knew it. There was nothing left he could do; even his eyes had begun to turn a dull pink as the pus began to replace blood there as well. Soon the the oozing liquid would surge through his arteries en-route to his brain, and he would be gone.

It was at this moment that doctor looked up at the shocked unicorn across from him with a tear lingering in his eye. The nurses around his had stopped working as soon as they had seen his expression; they knew it was lost. They still had a defibrillator at the ready, but deep down everypony knew it was over.

"Hey Twilight, I think it's time to call it..."

"NOO!!! HE IS GOING TO MAKE IT!!!"

"Twi..."

"I DON'T TELL ME HE ISN'T!!! GET BACK TO WORK ON HIM! HIS HEART IS STILL... working..."

Twilight had noticed that the stallion had begun to move his eyes around. At first it was just a little, but then a little more, and then a little more; you could see him begin to focus on objects. But it was not a sign of life. The eyes seemed to be looking around desperately for something, something...

"Twi?"

Both the doctor and Twilight looked down incredulously at the colt who had made the noise. Ripping off her mask the lavender unicorn stepped sideways to get a betting look at his dying face. Above them on the balcony the freckled farm mare came crashing down the stairs. The nurses parted for her, their somber expressions planting a look of pure shock on the stunned mare's face. Finally arriving at the operating table, she stood next to Twilight and looked down upon ruined stallion's dying form.

"AJ...?"

She tearfully ginned down at him. "I'hm.... I'hm here."

He seemed to smile, but his swollen cheeks gave him more of a ghoulish appearance. "Ya... Ya guys... thank you. Ah... Ah love you."

At this the stallion's smile brightened. "Ah... Ah know you guys triaa... tried your hardest. Th... Th... Thank you."

Twilight and Applejack simultaneously assumed shocked expressions. As the unicorn seemed to stare out into space the farm mare shook her head back and forth.

"NO! These guys can fix you! They got all these fancy do-hickies and machines! Twilight can save you with magic and you are gonna be fine and not die and..."

Giving a weak chuckle, he stallion looked up at his sibling. "There's no need to fool me, AJ. Ah... Ah want ya to be... honest." He swallowed pitifully. "Besides... there is no way a pony could survive that... that many burns. I... kept the farm and... and Ponyville safe. That's all that... matters."

Twilight, who seemed to snap back to reality, gave a terse nod. "You made such an incredible sacrifice. Nopony, and I repeat nopony else, could have done what you did. The Princesses are awarding you the Medal of Harmony." A teary nod from AJ seemed to confirm this.

The stallion chuckled again, spewing a little bit of pus. "I wish ah... could be *cough* there ta recieve it. Send 'em mah... thanks."

Turning towards Applejack, he took his tone down to a voiceless whisper. Behind them the heart rate monitor was beginning to slow down dramatically. "AJ... y'all have been... everything ah could've ever wanted for a... sister. I love ya. Tell Applebloom and Granny... tell 'em I lo... love 'em."

Staring into his glassed-over eyes, AJ nodded, a tear sliding down her cheek. "Ah will, bro... brother."

His voice somehow growing even weaker, the stallion continued on. "Twi... take care of mah... mah sisters. Don't let no... misfortune... *cough* befall 'em."

Twilight, who was now full-blown smiling and just six inches from his face, nodded. "I promise. I Pinkie promise. I promise with every single fiber in my body. All the everything. All the..." still grinning the unicorn found herself unable to bear it any longer; her lips began to tremble as tears rained down from her eyes and cascaded down the stallion's cheek. "I... pro.. prooo... promise!"

Suddenly the heart monitor stopped. The beeping that was the tell-tale sign of life had stopped. Instead there was a long, ringing tone: the sound of a dead heart.

The farm pony just couldn't take it. She collapsed on top of her brother, tears streaming down her face and onto his torso like a raging river. Letting out a piercing shriek, she clutched his body and hugged it tight.

Twilight could not take her eyes off his. While they were still glassed, they hadn't quite lost their spark yet.

She leaned forward, just inches from his head, and was just in time to hear him whisper.

"I love you Twilight Sparkle."

A tear splashed against the stallion's brow as his unicorn leaned in just a bit further to press her lips against his.

"I love you Big Macintosh."