Sour Note

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Prince Rutherford, Ember, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Lemon Hearts, Romance
Length: 3534

Lemon Hearts is excited to host the Reverie, one of the most important events in all of Equestria. If only her human boyfriend didn't have such a knack for causing trouble.

Finally, it was time for the Reverie. Every four years, some of the most important figures in the world gather in Canterlot to discuss matters of international importance. As such, Lemon Hearts considered it an honor to be placed in charge of hosting such a grand event.

Perhaps she should have expected that her human boyfriend, Anon, would end up somewhere he doesn't belong.

Now with the threat of war looming over her, she needs to get him out of the castle before any of Equestria's guests find out that their party was crashed by an alien.

Written for Dart.

Published 2024-05-05 01:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-05 01:30:01 UTC

Sour Note

“Is there anything else I can get you, your highness?”

“Yellow pony ask too many questions! Depart now!”

“Right away, sir.”

Lemon Hearts, dressed in a form-fitting, completely spotless servant’s outfit, smiles as she takes a bow. Prince Rutherford immediately loses interest in her, choosing instead to turn back towards Queen Novo of the Hippogriffs. Taking the opportunity, she decides to make herself scarce, quietly slipping away from the pair of royals.

“Hey, Lime… girl.”

“L-Lemon Hearts, Dragon Lord Ember.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Ember waves her correction off as she forces a smile. “You got any more of those… what are they called? Oar doves?”

“Hors d'oeuvres, your highness.”

“Yeah, more of those.”

“I’ll get the staff right on it.”

“Thanks.”

With an awkward grin, Ember, too, turns away from the humble hostess. With another bow, she quickens her pace. It only takes a few moments for her to make it to the back wall of the ballroom, and just a second more for her to disappear behind an unassuming door. Once on the other side, she slumps to the ground while letting out a long, drawn-out sigh.

After a quiet moment, she slaps her cheeks with both hooves and refocuses on the task at hand. The room before her is the kitchen, where five stressed-looking ponies frantically prepare dish after dish, each and every one (appropriately) fit for a royal.

Today is the Reverie, an event held in Canterlot Castle every four years. Prominent figures from across the globe attend to discuss matters of international importance, from the fiercest of enemies to the closest of friends. Many alliances have been formed thanks to the Reverie, as have many rivalries. As a result, it’s one of the most important events in all of Equestria, and it’s imperative that things go well.

Perhaps this is why it’s both an honor and a horrifying responsibility for Lemon Hearts, whom Princess Celestia placed in charge of the event.

“Zeff, we need three more plates of hors d'oeuvres as quick as you can make ‘em!”

“Th-three more?!”

“Dragon Lord Ember’s personal request! I guarantee she’ll need more than one plate, and making three instead of two is playing it safe!”

“Miss Hearts!” A smaller mare dressed in an apron and a hairnet approaches Lemon with fear in her eyes. “We’ve had a bit of a complication while you’ve been on the floor.”

“What is it, Crisp?”

“Y-you… that is to say–”

“Ugh, spit it out!”

“Your boyfriend is here!”

“I… huh?”

“Heya, Lemmy!”

Lemon feels her blood run cold as a familiar voice happily calls out to her. Slowly turning her head, she sees none other than Anon, the only human in Equestria, happily smiling at her as he nonchalantly saunters across the kitchen.

“A-Anon?!”

“That’s some way to greet your significant other.”

“What are you doing here?!”

“Well, it’s a special day, so–”

“I KNOW it’s a special day, I’m in charge of it, remember?!”

“L-Lemmy, I–”

“You can’t be here!”

“I just wanted to–”

“If the royals in there see that an uninvited guest came to the Reverie, they’re gonna be mad. If they find out it’s an alien that’s not even supposed to be in Equestria in the first place… I-I don’t wanna know what would happen!”

“And how are things going in here?”

A calm, soothing voice fills the kitchen as the sound of the door gently opening and closing goes unheard over the hustle and bustle. Everyone stands at attention as they are approached by the large, beautiful figure of Princess Celestia herself.

“P-Princess!”

All at once, everyone bows. Everyone except Anon, that is.

“Goodness me. Mr. Anon, what are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to visit Lemmy on–”

“Oh, this won’t do.” In a manner uncharacteristic of her, Celestia rests a hoof on her chin as she looks the human up and down, her expression clearly worried. The other ponies rise and resume their activities, with Lemon Hearts standing next to Anon as a cold sweat forms on her brow. “This won’t do at all.”

“I know, this is really, really bad.”

“Worse than you think, too.”

“Huh?”

“Some creatures in there might take your presence personally. I don’t mean to sound rude, but your appearance is… er… ‘offensive’ to some of these creatures’ cultures. If they were to know that I allowed you in here, it could create tension between our nations. Or worse.”

“W-worse?”

“War.”

“Anon could start a war?!”

“It is imperative that we keep him out of sight. None of the guests can know about this, understand?”

Suddenly, the door to the kitchen is thrown open. Prince Rutherford gazes inside, his expression unreadable through his long hair. Celestia and Lemon Hearts immediately move to stand between him and Anon, while the human in question attempts to duck behind the mares.

“What are ponies doing in side room?!”

“This is the royal kitchen, Prince Rutherford.” Celestia’s words are calm and kind, indicating the hundreds of years of practice that she’s gone through. “We typically leave the work in another room so that our guests can enjoy themselves without the sound of the cooking distracting them.”

“Ponies have weird custom. Yaks PROUD of cooking! Yaks best at it!”

“Hmhm, well, perhaps Yakyakistan could host the next Reverie?”

“...Pony princess make interesting point. Yaks must talk on it.”

Mumbling to himself, Rutherford turns his massive form around and exits back through the door, the walls on either side nearly cracking with every step he takes. As the door closes, Celestia, Anon, and Lemon Hearts breathe a sigh of relief.

“You need to get him out of here,” Celestia says quietly as she turns to face Lemon Hearts. “Discreetly.”

“Can’t you just teleport me out?” Anon asks as he folds his arms over his chest. “You’re, like, super powerful or whatever, aren’t you?”

“Anon, don’t talk to the princess like that,” Lemon grunts under her breath.

“It’s alright,” Celestia sighs. “But no, I cannot.”

“I had magical wards put up around the castle. If things go south, it’s best to take magic out of the equation entirely. Plus, this limits the risk of assassination plots and the like.”

“In other words, no teleporting. Not even for someone like me.” Celestia clears her throat and forces a smile. “Now, I’m going to return to the Reverie. I’ll do my best to cover for you if I can, but you’re going to be mostly on your own. Good luck, Lemon.”

After watching Lemon give her a resolute nod, Celestia nods back and follows after Rutherford, once again leaving Lemon, Anon, and the rest of the staff alone in the kitchen.

“This is bad. This is really, really bad.”

“Come on, Lemmy. It’s not the end of the world.”

“If you get found out, it very well could be!”

“Lemmy~”

Anon leans closer towards Lemon, whose expression quickly goes from confused to frustrated.

“Anon, not now.”

“Come on, Lemmy, you’re doing the thing again~”

Anon leans even closer, his smile widening.

“I have every right to be doing the thing!”

“Then I’d better not hear any complaints when I–”

“Don’t you dare–!” Lemon is cut off as Anon reaches out and places a hand on her head before gently stroking her mane. “Come on, I’m working…” she pouts.

“You’re not gonna get anything done if you don’t get some of that stress out.”

“Right now, the stress is keeping me– oooooohhhhhhh~”

Lemon is once again cut off as Anon’s hand reaches around her head and begins to scritch behind her ear. It twitches at his touch, but her entire body nearly goes limp as he continues his assault. After a few moments he switches over to the other ear, his warm smile staying plastered on his face as he chuckles at Lemon’s relieved, almost drooling expression. Finally, after nearly a full minute, he relents.

“Better?”

“...Ugh, I hate you sometimes.” Lemon covers her beet-red face with a hoof, earning some amused smiles from a couple of the chefs. “A-are you ready or not?!”

“Ready to get out of here?”

“The longer you stay here, the more danger we’re all in.”

“Fine, fine.” Anon stands tall, purposefully stretching his back as he does so. There’s a satisfying “pop” before he returns to a regular position. “What’s the plan?”

“Hmm… oh!” She turns to the nearby chefs with wide eyes. “Zeff, how are the hors d'oeuvres looking?”

“Just finished ‘em!” With a tired grin, the stallion places a third plate on the counter between them. “They’re hot and fresh, just like the Dragon Lord likes.”

“Crisp!”

“Y-yes, Lemon?”

“Are there any more utility carts available?”

“Yes, but just the one.”

“And table cloths?”

“Er… I can probably get one.”

“Do that! The biggest one you can find!”

“Y-yes, ma’am!”

Anon clears his throat, grabbing Lemon’s attention once again.

“Uh, Lemon?”

“Don’t worry, Anon.” She forces a smile, but he doesn’t fail to notice the corners of her mouth twitching as she does so. “We’re gonna get you out of here.”

“This is a terrible plan.”

“Shh! Carts don’t talk!”

A bead of sweat forms on Lemon’s head as she pushes the utility cart through the kitchen door. A large table cloth covers the cart, draping over its sides and nearly reaching the ground. She struggles to push the heavy cart, not because the hors d'oeuvres on top are particularly weighty, but because the human man hiding in the hollow cavity beneath the table cloth is.

Slowly and with careful steps, she navigates through the grand hall. Ponies, hippogriffs, yaks, dragons, kirin, cats, and everything in-between discuss countless topics amongst themselves, some in large, boisterous groups, and others in hushed whispers tucked away in quiet corners. There is plenty of politicking being done, and she wants no part of it.

It seems that most of the guests don’t want her having any part of it either, as she gets countless stares as she passes between the royal figures and their entourages. Many cut their conversations short and simply glare at her until she’s already gone. Whether that’s because she’s a lowly commoner or because they’re on to what she’s doing, she doesn’t know.

Either way, she’s never been this nervous in her entire life.

After what feels like an eternity, she slows her pace even more as the exit doors are nearly within reach. Just a few more moments and she’ll be home–

“Hey, Lime girl!”

Dang it.

“H-hello again, Dragon Lord Ember.”

“Are those the hors d'oeuvres things you were talking about?”

Ember’s eyes practically sparkle at the sight of the three plates on top of the cart. If she is to be left alone for a moment longer, she may start drooling. Lemon awkwardly clears her throat before responding.

“Y-yes, they are.”

“Aw, sweet! I’ve been so looking forward to these!”

Without hesitation and lacking the grace that most of the nobles present clearly show, she reaches out and begins shoveling food into her mouth. A wide grin spreads across her face as she relishes the morsels of flavor. That’s what happens when you taste Equestria’s best.

“Heh, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to run away with these.”

“N-no, of course not, I was just–”

“Actually…” Ember sniffs at the air, her amused grin not fading. “Something smells weird.” Looking down at the food in her claws, she takes a big whiff. “No, it’s not these.”

“I-I’m not sure what you’re referring to!”

Ember leans forward, immediately getting into Lemon’s personal space. She recoils slightly, too terrified to say or do anything as Ember sniffs at the air.

“That scent is definitely on you, but it’s not coming from you. I think it’s… that cart.”

“I-I’m sorry for the disturbance, Dragon Lord Ember! I’ll return it right away so that you can get back to–”

“Is there something under there? It smells… gross.”

“Hey!”

Lemon kicks the “table cloth.”

“Th-there must be something wrong with it. I shall see to it that it never sees the light of day again!”

“Let me just–”

“No!”

Lemon yells in vain as Ember reaches out for the table cloth, bending her tall form over to do so all the while. Lemon’s eyes widen in horror as Anon is revealed, his big human body uncomfortably squished into such a small space.

There’s a moment where no one says a word. Anon looks at Ember in shock. Ember looks at Anon in shock. Lemon looks at both of them in shock.

Then, without warning, Anon reaches out towards Ember with both hands.

“H-hey, what do you think you’re– oooooohhhhhhh~”

Ember’s shocked expression melts away in favor of a look of pure bliss. Anon moved swiftly, and now finds himself with both hands on the sides of Ember’s head, gently scritching behind both of her horns. Much like with Lemon’s ears, she’s practically putty in his hands.

“Anon, what do you think you’re doing?!” Lemon grumbles as loud as she can through clenched teeth, unsure of if she should be shocked, terrified, or insanely jealous.

“I-I don’t know, I panicked!”

“You’re manhandling one of the most important figures in the world right now!”

“A-at least it’s working?”

Both look back at Ember, who now is drooling at his touch.

“What happens if you let go?”

“I don’t know!”

“I… ugh, this is bad! If someone else sees this, we’re totally gonna–”

“What yellow pony doing in corner?!”

“Oh sweet Celestia, make it stop.”

Lemon looks at the other side of the cart. To no one’s surprise, Prince Rutherford’s massive yak form easily overshadows her own. If anyone at the Reverie were to be avoided at a time like this, it would be him. The only saving grace is that at the angle he’s standing, Anon himself is just outside his line of sight.

“What food is on pony cart?”

“Th-these are hors d'oeuvres, your highness! You’re free to–”

Without hesitation, Rutherford grabs the cart and shovels the remaining hors d'oeuvres into his mouth. Thanks to his eagerness in doing so, he completely fails to notice Anon falling from the cart while struggling to maintain his grip on Ember. Lemon tries in vain to stand between the yak and the human, but her tiny pony body is doing her little good.

“We’re so dead.”

Rutherford smashes the cart with a grin on his face. Then, just as he is about to look up, there is a flash of light next to the four creatures that catches the attention of all but Ember.

“Hello again, Prince Rutherford.”

“Pony princess needs to work on entrances. Very impolite.”

“The same is true for your smashing tendencies in Equestria.”

“Smashing is rude to pony? Hm. Perhaps yaks should host Reverie.”

“Yes, I think it would be nice for us to go somewhere else for a change.”

As she says those words, she awkwardly glances at Lemon and Anon, then at the door behind them. Without missing a beat, both of them book it through the door as Celestia stands between them and Rutherford. Celestia isn’t sure if it’s because of her presence or his own ignorance that Rutherford doesn’t notice. Mere seconds after letting go of Ember, the dragoness begins to shake her head as though awakened from a trance.

“H-huh? Where am I?!”

“Hello, Dragon Lord Ember.” Celestia immediately grabs her attention. “Are you feeling well? You appear dizzy.”

“N-no, I’m… wait, where is that thing?!”

“What thing?”

“The weird monkey thing that was under Lime girl’s cart!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Lemon Hearts is currently attending to another issue elsewhere, and I can assure you that there are no monkeys at the Reverie.”

“B-but he… hey. Prince Rutherford, what is that in your beard?”

“Hm? What dragon girl mean?”

“Isn’t that the food I was eating? Did you steal some of my hors d'oeuvres?!”

“Yak stole nothing.”

“You lying sack of trash, I can smell it on your breath!”

“C-come now, you two, is the Reverie really the place to be arguing over–”

“If dragon have problem, she can say it to yak’s face!”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing!”

“Ugh.”

Anon and Lemon Hearts nearly collapse on the grass outside the castle. Neither are capable of saying a word through their rapid breaths, the sweat covering their bodies indicating just how hard and how fast they ran through the castle to freedom. Thankfully, the guards know who Lemon is, so there was no resistance on the way out.

After a few minutes of recuperation, their adrenaline finally runs out. Simultaneously, they sit themselves down on the grass.

“Th… thanks for that, Lemmy.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Lemon waves him off as she stares at nothing in particular. After a few more moments, she takes a deep breath. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I can say the same for you.”

“That said… what the heck were you thinking?!”

“Huh?!”

“The Reverie, Anon! You already know it’s a bad idea to visit me while I’m working on a regular day, so what in the world possessed you to make you think that it would be a good idea to visit during the REVERIE?!”

“I… I just wanted to see you.”

“And it couldn’t wait until after?!”

“Well, no!”

“And why not?!”

Anon glances down at his watch, which reads “12:24 A.M.” A long, tired sigh escapes him, catching his marefriend off guard.

“Because it was our anniversary.”

“It… huh?”

Lemon’s voice quickly goes from loud and angry to quiet and meek.

“You kept me out of the loop about what you were doing today, remember? All I knew was that you had another event you were hosting.”

“...I didn’t want you to worry about me. Which, let’s be honest, you would have done if I told you I was running the Reverie.”

“True. Still, I didn’t think it’d take you literally all day. By the time it got to be about 10:30, I realized we were gonna miss our anniversary. I thought I could surprise you.”

“Well, ‘surprise me’ you did. How did you even get past the guards?”

“Don’t underestimate a man in love, Lemmy.”

“I’d smack you if I wasn’t so tired right now.”

“Hehe. Anyway, I just… wanted to see you. And to give you this.”

Anon reaches into his back pocket and produces a golden silk handkerchief. Embroidered in the corner are both of their initials, only visible when light hits the silk at just the right angle. He hands it over to Lemon with a melancholic smile, and she gently accepts it.

“Wh-what is this?”

“I thought it’d go well with your usual uniform. You know, so that on nights when we can’t see each other, you’ll know I’m never far.”

“...Hmhm. Apparently you’re literally not far on the nights I’m not supposed to see you.”

The two share a laugh on the dark, moonlit grass. A gentle breeze washes over them, reminding them of where they are.

“I’m sorry, Anon. I was so caught up worrying about the Reverie that I completely forgot about our anniversary.”

“Eh, I’m not too concerned. Besides, I ended up missing it, too!”

“That’s not the point, dummy.” With a sigh, she leans forward onto his chest. Without missing a beat, he wraps his arms around her comparatively small form and begins to gently stroke her mane. “I should’ve considered your feelings more.”

“Like you said, you didn’t tell me about the Reverie. I had no idea what you were going through, but I should have respected your personal space more.”

“I need to communicate better. That’s all there is to it.”

“I refuse to let you take all the blame for this.”

“...Heh. I know.”

With a warm smile on her face, Lemon looks up at Anon before closing the gap between them, pressing her lips against his own. He tightens his grip on her, savoring her sour taste that he’s grown so fond of.

When they finally part, both are grinning ear to ear.

“You should probably get back in there.”

“Y-yeah, I guess I should.”

“You’re a big, important mare now! Make the most of it, okay?”

“Heh, maybe I’ll use that big imporant-ness to get you a gift, eh?”

“Just snag me a few of those hors d'oeuvres and we’ll be even.”

“Deal.”

After one final hug, Lemon Hearts gives Anon a smile and a nod before trotting back into the castle. It has been an extremely turbulent evening, but as Anon stands back up and begins to walk away from the castle, he catches himself smiling.

At least it didn’t end on a sour note.

“Hey, Lime girl.”

“Oh, hello, Dragon Lord Ember.”

“So, er, between you and me… do you know where I can get one of those monkey guys for the Dragon Lands?”

“Um… I’m sorry?”

“N-never mind.”

Author's Note

Just a little side project to shake things up as I work on bigger things. Lemon Hearts didn't really give me much to work with, but I think that made the creation process even more fun!

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!