Faithful Forever

Chapter 8:  A friend indeed

I hid my face as I ran I refused to let anyone see me as the tears stung my face and made my eyes red and sore. My breathing was erratic and got harder the further I went. Diamonds Tiara’s harsh words stayed in my mind running amok like a pack of rats.

It took forever as time had slowed down, but I finally managed to gallop back to Fluttershy’s cottage without getting lost; just as well because I did not want to see anyone at this moment in time.

I burst through the door, sending a rather unaware squirrel soaring across the room which luckily landed on the sofa in the living room while I dumped the god forsaken cherries on the side in the kitchen. The squirrel rubbed its head in pain and shook its fist at me as I bolted up the stairs and dove onto my bed, burying my head in my hooves. As I went to do so I stopped and stared at them, realising what I had become, I was never going to be who I had been before, I had become a whole new form, and it took all that palaver to make me realise it? Finally the gravity of what I had given up to be here finally struck me. In that moment I was so confused, I had a mix of feelings ranging from anger to shame.

“No” I told myself through the salty tears I cried, “I have to prove that I wished for the right thing,”

“I can’t just hide away from this.”

The thought suddenly hit me “why don’t I have my cutie mark? I mean I know what I was good at when I was in my world, I was a musician I wrote my own songs that generally people seemed to like, I got offered an opportunity to be a DJ for a night once.” The thought had me pondering the same confusing conclusion each time, eventually it got to me.

I raced over to my window “For fucks sake why don’t I have my cutie mark?” I shouted into the clouds begging that my cries could be heard, I didn’t know who by but it made me feel better.

“Forget it you need to find someone to help you,” I obediently agreed with myself and came back into the middle of my room, wiping my cheeks, staring at the floor. Then I stopped and remembered, no Pony in Ponyville knew who I was and I certainly couldn't just approach people as a complete stranger, which would only separate me more from the community that had decided to battle it out with me. So who could help me? my situation seemed to be getting more and more desperate, all I had was what I knew myself to be good at.

What if no pony liked my music? I’d be left with truly nothing, I’d never get my cutie mark, I’d never find the right of passage that would separate me from the foals who I knew would mock me for the rest of my life. I groaned heavily as I once again ended up putting myself down.

With a Rainbow Dash-esque determination suddenly coming over me, I stomped my hoof on the floor and said still frustrated “I have to find someone who can help me.”

I crept down the stairs to see where Fluttershy was, She was Lying on the sofa watching TV and cuddling angel bunny in her arms, her eyes were a little wet as well, and judging by what I could hear she was watching a Drama show, clearly it was a more emotional show because the characters talking were really getting sappy.

“Oh Star Eye” said Star Eye’s mare friend “promise me you will never leave me again, my love for you feels empty if I never see you.”

“Don’t worry Lustitania, I could never leave you not after what I've been through,” He said.

The cringe worthiness was growing every second, so I decided to just go out to find someone who could help me find a place in Equestria I felt like an outsider thrown into place by an outspoken Filly, whose words hurt that much more being a mature example of a blank flank.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs Fluttershy spotted me and jumped up in what seemed to be surprise at first, but what actually became apparent to be Joy, which was so unlike her that it made me jump back in surprise as she flung her forelegs around me and embraced me.

“Oh Jack I never saw you come home, I got worried about you, I thought you’d run off somewhere and gotten lost or scared or worse!”

She hugged me tighter as I decided to hug her back, allowing myself to feel the kind of love that I only knew my own mother to give. We slowly released each other me more surprised than her.

“Oh…um…I…I, I, I’m so sorry,” she whispered suddenly realising what she had done.

Being the element of kindness I decided to boil her reaction down to her simply being concerned as I was sure she would have been in the same situation with one of her precious animals, they were her children in a way, so I guessed it was almost a type of maternal reaction.

I looked into her eyes and felt a warm comforting feeling run through me. This shy little Pony had touched me in that moment.

“I came home earlier I was upstairs reading,” I uttered slightly bashfully.

“Oh…um…ok… it’s just that well, I didn’t know where you had gone and…thanks for the cherries,” she muttered before looking at the ground as if embarrassed.

She paused, looking closer at me, still holding that gentle face, it faded as she noticed the fading red marks on my face and the scruffiness of my twisted and mangled mane from all the tossing about I had done on my bed.

“Are you alright?” she asked raising an eyebrow, “You didn’t get upset did you?” although from the look on her features I was assured that she knew the answer to that.

“Oh you poor dear!” she exclaimed “who would be so unpleasant to do that.”

“I doesn't matter,” I replied solemnly “I have to find someone to help me find my cutie mark, it’s the only way I can have any peace of mind, I need to know that I’m not being judged as I walk through town,” I started to head for the door only to be blocked by the now assertive Fluttershy.

“Don’t go out now, it’s late, you should just sit and talk to me about it, you can tell me anything I promise,” she said looking at me with a reassuring look and a kind smile.

I looked from her to out the window and back to her again, I could clearly see that the sun was indeed setting and Luna was beginning to raise the moon. I looked out the window again before looking back at Fluttershy and saying, “are you sure? You as well as every pony know how important this is.”

At this moment her eye’s slightly closed, she took a deep breath before sighing, opening her eyes to present me with the widest gaze I have ever seen in my life.

I gave up on leaving, clearly she wasn't going to let me so I rolled my eyes, chuckled a little and said, “Ok Fluttershy you win, I’ll stay.”

With that she hugged me again and I felt he warmth radiate through me with the intent to melt my heart… which it did, I clung on to her absorbing the heat that she laid into me and began  to feel something change in me I didn’t know what it was, but something changed.

“It’ll be nice to get to know her better and who knows she just might be able to help me with my problem or suggest something that may help me out” though as I thought who I really needed to see it sprang upon me like a panther, it consumed me, gave me inner joy, which is why I hugged Fluttershy even tighter than before.