In which the horsies are gay
What happened at last night’s “sleepover” (Pinkie still insisted on calling them this in spite of the youngest among us pushing 22) was too fast for me to fully take in, but I’ll try my very best for the sake of good journaling.*
*Future Twilight here: apparently I could recall this in exhaustive detail, actually. Not that it matters to anypony but me, as I’m just writing to myself, but still!
Fluttershy followed me into my own bedroom as I was headed in to change into my pajamas. Now, that sounds bad, but when you put this many trans women who have all extensively explored one another’s bodies in one place, there’s bound to be some kinky stuff going on! Her hand met my neck, just under my chin, with enough force to push me down onto the bed, but without choking me. It seemed almost to be a practiced maneuver (if what Rainbow Dash later said is to be believed, it most definitely was). Fluttershy loomed over me, using the hand not on my neck to pry my legs apart (I say, as though I had provided much resistance) and pressed her body up against my own. She was so warm and soft, I think I could have fallen asleep underneath her weight if my heart hadn’t been beating so fast. She nuzzled her snout into the crook of my neck as she removed her hand from it, instead curling her fingers around my own hand, which I had extended up to the headboard.
“Twilight,” she said in a low voice, giving her the air of a predator, but one interested in at least ensuring her prey’s comfort, “I want you…”
“F-Fluttershy…?” I stammered. I wanted her too, but this was all very sudden, and not at all in-line with what I knew about one of my best friends’ behavior. “Are you… o-okay?”
Her grip on my hand loosened, and her wings fell back down to her back. I took note of the fact that I hadn’t noticed they were flared until I saw them fold up again. She took in a breath. “O-oh, do you…” She frowned, and stuck out her bottom lip in an unintended pout. “A-am I doing too much? Did I hurt you??” Her eyes widened and teared up. I interrupted before she could start crying.
“No, no! I was just surprised, that's all.” I assured her, and stopped for a moment to consider whether or not it’d be wise to admit just how very, very badly I’ve wanted her to just take me for some time now-- ultimately deciding that particular verbiage would be… not good. “I… I want you too, I just didn’t anticipate you being so…” Forceful? Provocative? Absolutely terrifying? Willing to go this far in spite of your gender dysphoria from being the tallest of the six of us? “Forward…?” Smooth, Twilight. Good save.
Had I never seen Fluttershy before today, I would just assume red was the natural color of her face, but this was approaching downright absurd levels of blushing. Why did she have to be so. Darn. CUTE? “I-I just… Um…” She removed her hands from my body (dammit!) and cupped them around her snout, halfway hiding her face and looking anywhere but at me. “R-Rainbow told me you liked being… um… P-pushed around…”
Oh. Right. Of course it was Rainbow Dash who would pick up on that, Fluttershy wasn’t really the type to pay attention if you bent over in front of her in yoga pants (which I do, often! (they’re comfy and I think I have a great butt!)). “U-um, yeah…” I’m not ashamed to admit I audibly gulped here. “I-I do…” No doubt I was at least as red as the pegasus on top of me, whose big, soft, warm body was slowly craning back down onto my own considerably less well-endowed (but still worth admiring in the mirror! Which I do probably more often than I should) form. Fluttershy was visibly relieved by this, and exhaled a sigh that smelled like rosemary and lemon (WHY AND HOW DOES EVEN HER BREATH SMELL GOOD?).
“I was so worried I had crossed a boundary I shouldn’t have… I’m really sorry, Twi.” I should probably tell her at some point not to be sorry about that, but I was more than a little bit embarrassed at how excited I was for… What I thought she was going to do to me. She continued: “I’m glad that you’re not upset with me, but I don’t really think I can be so… Um, that way.” Our eyes met. I know it’s a cliche to describe a mare with blue eyes as having ‘vast, deep oceans’ to stare into, but dammit I don’t know how-the-hay else to describe Fluttershy’s eyes! (Fluttersheyes?) ‘Lost at sea, but in a good way’ is the only way to properly articulate what it’s like to lock eyes with Fluttershy.** Especially when you’re a relatively smaller pony and she has you pinned down to the bed, and all of your squishy bits are touching-- not to mention something else butimnotwritingaboutthatrightnow.
**This is not true, but it would require more paper and ink to articulate all of the ways one might describe Fluttershy’s absolutely breathtaking eyes than I have to dedicate to personal projects at the moment.
I wrapped my arms around her, and leaned up to nuzzle the side of her face. “You don’t need to dominate me to be intimate with me, Fluttershy.” I met her eyes again, whirlpools I was glad to be sucked into. “The way you’re so gentle with everypony and everything is one of the reasons I fell for you in the first place…” I felt my face getting hot again, and just barely succeeded in pushing out thoughts of how Rainbow would make fun of me for being so sappy.
Her eyes widened again, and this time tears did fall. “Oh, Twilight!” She embraced me hard enough to pop my back, and I returned as best I could: wrapping my arms and legs around her torso and squeezing with all of my shut-in, out-of-shape, librarian might. Her muzzle was back in the crook of my neck, which you’d have to be an idiot not to think is cozy (which I, quite notably, am not). She cried happy tears and mumbled: “You’re too nice to me…” I was not, and never have been too nice to her. At most, I haven’t been half as kind as she deserves.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading!! Please feel free to leave constructive criticism, as I am really quite new to creative writing as a hobby. Heck, leave some destructive criticism, I'm not picky.
