Blacken

“Mmm… W-what? Where the hay am ah? And why is it so ding dang dark?”

“OH. MY. GOSH! Applejack, you’re here, too?!”

“Pinkie? What n’ tarnation is goin’ on here?”

“I don’t know, but it’s super fun!! I mean, the darkness just goes ON and ON and ON and ON and ON and ON…”

“So n’ other words, ya’ haven’t found a way out.”

“A way out? Pfft! Don’t be silly. There is no way out! The show ended!”

“Stop talkin’ hoopla an’ help me look for an exit. Ah’ll go…er… Oh, forget it, just head n’ the direction away from my voice.”

“Okey dokey lokey! Oh, look at that! You can still hear my hopping!!”

“Eee!”

“Whoa, Nelly, ah hit something. It’s kinda squishy.”

“OOooo! I want to touch it, too!”

“No need for that. Ah’ll kick at it s’m more.”

“Eek! Please stop doing that…”

“Fluttershy?! Well, if you were here, why didn’t ya’ say somethin’?”

“I did… but nopony answered.”

“Repeat what ya’ said.”

“——————————————!“

“Eeeyup, that explains it.”

“You mean you couldn’t hear her choking the life out of Rainbow Dash?”

“What?!” “What?!”

“Cckk…! Haa…! Cough! Gee, took you long enough!”

“Oh my. I’m so sorry! I didn’t notice…”

“Whatever. I’m more concerned about egghead over here! She knew what was happening and just stood there!”

“WhAt! I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’ve awoken in this predicament, exactly like the rest of you.”

“Ohhhh no! We woke up together like Pinkie and AJ! Then when I tripped over Fluttershy, she got scared, pounced on me, and that was allll she wrote!”

“I would never… You’re a close friend. I could never wish upon your unfortunate demise.”

“Yeah, yeah. As the element of loyalty, I’m so not buying it.”

“T’ be honest, ah’d do the same if it was Rarity. Ah can’t blame ya’… Wait, where is Rarity?”

“Weelllll, if we woke up in pairs of two, then that would mean Fluttershy arrived with Rarity!”

“Oh dear.”

“Well, ah’d be… Something good has come out of this!”

“Wha—how dare you!”

“Kay, an’ why haven’t you said anythin’ til now?”

“BECAUSE THERE’S NO POINT! IF I CAN NEVER SEE MYSELF, THEN WHAT’S THE POINT OF LIVING OoOoNNNn?!”

“Alright, I hate to be the buzzkill, but who’s soaking wet and touching—Cckk…!!”

“What n’ the—Dash? What happened?”

“Cckk…!”

“WAAAAAHAHAAAaaa…!”

“Um, I think Rarity might be choking her…”

“That mare is NO more! I’m a nopony now!”

“You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me. Twilight, ya’ know where Rainbow is. Can ya’ help her?”

“…”

“Cckk…”

“Twilight?”

“Cckk.”

“Twilight, are ya’ serious right now?!”

“I’m contemplating.”

“What is there t’ contemplate?!”

“Not how long it takes for an adult mare to suffocate. That’s for sure, heheh…”

“An’ how long is that?”

“Hmm… Around right about…now.”

“…kk…”

“Oops, I seem to have miscalculated. I mean now.”

“…”

“Aw, shucks. Let us have a moment of silence. N’ case anypony’s wonderin’, yes, ah am pledgin mah hat on mah chest.”

“Forget about that! Girls, do you hear that rugged creaking?”

“I hear it… It sounds a lot like a shutter.”

“Over there! Ah can’t believe what ah’m seein’. Daylight!”

“We’re being saved by Anon! And… Chrysalis?”

“Annngelll!”

“RARITY!”

“Ha! Anon, the quiet one knocked over Twilight for a rat!”

“First, take a chill pill, Chrysalis. Second, why are you all in my garage? Why is Fluttershy crying, why is Rarity hugging herself with makeup dripping down her mug, and why is Rainbow Dash waking up like a zombie?”

“Eh, they’re always like that. Twenty percent tearful. As for me, this was just another power nap.”

“Muhahaha! Now that I have gathered my most stupid adversaries and trapped them within this ‘garage’ with my plan, all I have to do is press this button, and they’ll be locked inside… FOREVER!”

“Son of a—you did this to them?”

“She knows there’s another way in, right?”

“—Rainbow Dash whispered to her friends!”

“Ah don’t think she does.”

“Goodbye, little ponies!”

“Um…girls…”

“Bet you I can narrate in the first person’s past teeennse!”

“Pinkie!” “Pinkie!” “Pinkie!” “Pinkie!” “Pinkie!” “Pinkie!”

“Girls…”

“Gosh darn it, why is it so dark again?”

“I was trying to tell you that Chrysalis—”

“Girls, Chrysalis locked us inside the garage!”

“Pfft, so what? There’s another way out, and Anon can lead the way. This is his garage, after all.”

“As happy as I would be to do that, I still can’t see crap.”

“…” “…” “…” “…” “…” “…”

“I call dibs on eating Rarityyy!”

“Muhahahaha! Now with Twilight and her goons trapped within this garage, the world is all mine to rule! I should rub it in their stupid faces by declaring my victory. Stupid ponies! You have been forever blackened by Queen Chrysalis!”

“Awesome. She’s gloating.”

“Ignore ’er. We have t’ find a way outta here.”

“I’m afraid we can’t make it out of this one. Not this time.”

“Why’s that, sugarcube?”

“You heard her. We’ve been blackened. And supposedly, once you’re blackened, there’s no turning abacken.”

“What the fuck?”

“Hang on a minute there, Twi. The only reason we’re having trouble is because we can’t see, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Then let’s just turn the lights on. Anon?”

“I’ll just ignore what was said earlier. How about this, you dumb butts use your horns as a light source.”

“Yeah, egghead!”

“Doggone it! Ah can’t believe you, Twilight!”

“I think she would have thought of it eventually…”

“Don’t just blame me—”

“Dogpile!”

“Pinkie!”

“Good idea. Rarity, would ya’ do the honors?”

“GLADLY!”

“No, wait—Cckk!”

“Bahaha! Not so fun, is it?”

“Why does it sound like they’re choking the life out of Twilight without me?! How dare they! Hurry and open, slow piece of trash!”

“Alright, you kids better hippity-hoppity off my property.”

“Yes! Kick these idiots out of our hive!”

“Our? This doesn’t exclude you.”

“You think you can kick me?”

“…I’m starting the hose. You’ve been needing a shower, anyway.”

“No!”

“Geez, you sound like my cat.”

“I swear it, you’ll rue the day!”

“Trust me, my nose already is.”

“No—Agh! NOOOooo!”