The Advisory

by DeathToPonies

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tirek, Comedy, Scootaloo, Flim and Flam, Twilight Sparkle, Cheerilee, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1493

Flim and Flam are distraught about their future after finding their names on the Foal-Con Advisory.

Flim and Flam come prepared to the Ponyville Schoolhouse with what they thought was a foolproof plan to solicit from their easiest victims yet - unknowing foals. But when Cheerilee bars them entry due to their names appearing on a newly-circulated list of ponies of a certain nature, they realize their problems may run deeper than a day of lost profits.

Published 2024-05-07 17:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-07 17:40:00 UTC

The Real Monsters

"I'm really sorry, but I can't let you guys in here," Cheerilee repeated, apathetic but firm, to Flim and Flam, who stood just outside the Ponyville Schoolhouse, wagon of supplies in tow.

"Y...You said that already, yeah," Flim replied first, the younger brother gulping as his eyes twitched to his senior for a moment, "But, could you tell us why, exactly, again?"

"You guys are on the list," Cheerilee sighed, pulling out the scroll again for the third time, "See? Right here."

With wide eyes, the brothers looked over Cheerilee's page where their name was listed between two other notorious, as the list called them, "Foal-Cons":

Name: Iron Will
Species: Minotaur
Ongoing Project: Zeplin Cruise

Knowingly sold tickets to multiple families, including their foals, to board the "Princess Cruise" under false circumstances.

Name: Flim and Flam
Species: Ponies
Ongoing Project: Las Pegasus Resort

Knowingly conned Apple Bloom, a foal, multiple times. Knowingly sold cider, tonic, fake holiday toys, and many other dubious products to foals indiscriminently. Have both bragged about how good they are at taking advantage of others.

Name: Lightning Dust
Species: Pony
Ongoing Project: The Washouts

Knowingly put Scootaloo in danger by convincing her to join "The Washouts", a dangerous stunt team made of Wonderbolt rejects.

"B...But, those things happened years ago!" gasped Flam, exasperated.

"It doesn't matter," Cheerilee replied, now sounding a bit crueler. "To be honest, i always knew you guys were jerks, but you crossed a line messing with foals. You guys have some nerve showing your faces around here."

"B...But, but we prepared all morning!" Flim whined, waving back at their cart, "We spent the last couple days preparing all of this merch! All we want to do is help foals get school supplies!"

"Take it up with Twilight Sparkle then," Cheerilee rolled her eyes. The brothers blinked.

"Twilight..."

"She made the list," Cheerliee explained, now exasperated.

"And how did she make this list, exactly?" Flim asked, still trying to grasp the situation.

"I dunno. Ask her yourself. I have my foals to get back to teaching. Don't ever show up at this door again, or I'm calling the royal guard. Got it?" Cheerilee spoke before slamming the door in their face.

The brothers were flabergasted. They had thought the idea was a good one - maybe even a helpful one. They had spent weeks salvaging school supplies from trash and dumps from around Ponyville - for free, of course - and then meticulously cleaned each one so they looked almost new. They were going to sell these supplies to foals at a heavily discounted rate, allowing less-fortunate foals accses to supplies they may not otherwise have.

Sure, some of those supplies might be half-used pencils or ripped paper, but was that really so bad? It would be better than nothing, right?

And yet now, their work, all wasted. All because of this...

"Foal...Con? Advisory?" Flam tried to remember the name of the list.

"Pfff," Flim laughed, "As if. We con ALL ponies, not just foals!"

"I just don't think it's anypony's business what we do with our free time," sighed Flam, "Everypony does dubious things now and then, right? Why this sudden interest in exposing only those who con foals?"

"I think we should pay Twilight a visit, brother," Flim suggested, "Perhaps we can get a bit more insight into her decision."

Twilight was humming to herself, casually sorting books in the library. Her own melodic hum was the only sound audible in the library - except for Scootaloo, who was attentively sweeping the floor with a broom behind her.

"Thanks so much for your help again, Scootaloo!" Twilight spoke warmly.

"No problem, Twilight! When you said you'd pay me in hay burgers to clean the library, I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Scootaloo exclaimed without complaint.

Twilight was about to respond, but her thought process was interupted by a knock on the door. She gave a simple smile - she had been getting a lot of these recently, so it was no surprise she had to deal with another one. She casually opened the door, revealing the two brothers.

"Hello, sirs!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Uh...hi," Flim responded awkwardly, "Do you have a moment to talk, Twilight?"

"About the advisory? No, not really," Twilight replied honestly. The brothers were taken aback slightly by how quickly she understood what they were there for.

"But I guess I can answer a few quick questions. Shoot!"

Flam cleared his throat.

"Twilight, why exactly did you make this list? Some of us really are trying to better ourselves, you know," he spoke calmly.

"Not you guys!" Twilight remarked, casually with a smile.

"Well, maybe not...but still, don't you think publically releasing a list like this about ponies you don't even know very well on a personal level might be...." Flam started.

"....totally unfair and an extreme invasion of privacy?" Flim finished.

"No, not really," Twilight continued simply, "Conning foals is something I've decided doesn't really have a place in our society, so I've taken it upon myself to educate the public on those who would do so."

"Right...it's something you decided..." Flim clarified.

"Uh huh!" Twilight responded, still not missing a beat.

"May I...see the list, please?" Flam requested.

"Sure!" Twilight giggled, tilting her head with a smile as she levitated a scroll to Flam, who caught it with his own magic, "I've got dozens and dozens of copies made."

"Right," Flam spoke, opening the list and looking it over with his brother. After a few moments, Flim pointed at the page.

"So, here, you have Garble on the list," the younger brother mentioned, having run into the dragon once or twice recently, "And sure, he was kind of a jerk before. But he's trying to learn, right? And more specifically, I don't really think he's ever done anything with foals, has he...?"

"Oh, no, but as you can see on the list, I wrote "speciesist"! He hates ponies, so I put him on the list," Twilight replied.

"This seems to be more of a list of creatures you don't personally like," Flam sighed.

"I don't see it that way! I'm just trying to do our community a service by providing a list of ponies that shouldn't be trusted around foals. What's the harm in that?" asked Twilight genuinely.

Though Flim was still upset, Flam was starting to change his mind. Protecting foals was important, after all. Perhaps he and his brother had a long road to go on. Perhaps this list was a good wake up call. Maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but could still be helpful overall-

The brother's thoughts were cut off by massive, large, thumping footsteps shaking the ground. Their collective hearts almost jumped out of their chest as they whirled around to see Tirek stomping through Ponyville, ponies all around him screaming and shrieking amidst the chaos. The brothers whirled back to Twilight, wide eyed, as she stood casually, still smiling at them.

"U...Uh, HELLO? TWILIGHT? A....ARE YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING?" Flam exclaimed.

"HE'S HEADING FOR THE SCHOOLHOUSE!" Flim stressed.

"Oh, hang on, let me see," Twilight spoke casually, looking down her list. "Tirek...Tirek....nope, he's not on here! He may have done some bad things, but he's never conned foals. He should be fine."

As Tirek drained and inhaled the magic out of helpless ponies, their screams played as a cacophony in the background as Flim and Flam's jaws dropping to the ground.

"If that will be all, sirs, I shall see you later. Please reconsider your contribution to society," Twilight spoke calmly, slamming the door in their face.

"I'm done sweeping!" Scootaloo exclaimed, running up to Twilight.

"Oh, great!" Twilight exclaimed in return, rubbing Scootaloo's hair, "The library looks fantastic! You sure swept it well!"

"Can we get hay burgers now???" Scootaloo asked excitedly, jumping up and down.

"Oh, sure, we can-" Twilight started to speak, then looking at her clock, "-Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no!" she suddenly exclaimed.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Scootaloo exclaimed.

"I forgot! We have an important friendship meeting in five minutes! Scootaloo, I'll have to postpone!"

"O...Oh," Scootaloo replied, a little dejected, before perking back up, "O...Okay! That's fine! You can get me next time...thanks, Twilight!"

"Thanks so much, Scootaloo!" Twilight beamed innocently as the foal waved goodbye, leaving out the door.

Spike sighed as he entered the room.

"Friendship meeting? Really? Nobody calls it a "Friendship Meeting", Twilight," he spoke, exasperated.

"Well, she doesn't know that!" replied Twilight sweetly.

"She also doesn't know she just cleaned your entire library for free. Why are you conning Scootaloo, Twilight? Didn't you make such a big deal about...every other creature in Equestria doing it?"

"Well, sure," Twilight admited, sticking her tounge out, "But I just can't resist with Scootaloo! Just don't tell anypony, okay?"

Spike rolled his eyes.