Discord gives Anon magic and get his ass beat becuase of it.(3/5)

by milk rain

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Anon, Random, Violence, Princess Celestia, Profanity, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3501

Discord decides to prank the residences of ponyville, but he has run out of ideas. So the only reasonable thing to do is to give the local human magic, and have the human prank everyone else.(What can go wrong)

Discord decides to prank the residences of ponyville, but he has run out of ideas. So the only reasonable thing to do is to give the local human magic, and have the human prank everyone else.(What can go wrong)

Things Discord cant do: Under no circumstances shall Discord The God Of Choas, give the human Anon, chaos magic. This has been voided due to recent events involving the escape of [redacted]

(HEY GUYS LOOK ITS MY BAD PHOTOSHOPS THEY STRIKE AGAIN! :rainbowwild: Also fun fact the last 2 stories have been posted on Tuesdays so thats what I will be doing. I will post the next instalments on a Tuesday. I dont know which Tuesday but it will be a Tuesday)

(Featured on 5/22/2024.)

Published 2024-05-21 21:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-21 21:10:00 UTC

"Giving it to me was his first mistake."

Author's Note

I am making 2 more canon stories with this version of Anon. One more where he has magic, and the last one is back to good old human hands no magic included. That will be the finale, and then if I make more stories of this, they will be non-canon to this little series I have going on here. For example, I saw a comment on the original story that said, they wanted to see Anon beat up human sunset. A story like that would be non-canon. Also, this story was not planned but I had to give a reason why Anon used magic in the next story so this is that explanation I guess.

"Giving it to me was his first mistake."

Anon was awoken by a sound coming from the other side of his room. He grumbled as he rubbed his eyes, looking to see what it was. To his surprise, he saw the god of chaos, Discord, sitting on a rocking chair nearby, blowing on a bubble pipe.

"W-what are you doing in my house, man?" Anon said, tiredness in his voice.

"You know, Anon, do you truly think you can't use magic?"

"Discord, I don't have time for stupid questions. So unless you want to get beat up like the bug queen—" Discord stretched his arm faster than it should have and put a finger on Anon's lips, shushing him before snapping his fingers. Anon felt a jolt as something unknown entered his body. He looked at his hand and noticed the symbol of chaos now on it.

"What did you do!?"

"Simple. I gave you some of my magic. About 5 percent, to be exact."

"W-why?"

"Well, it's been getting pretty boring around here, and I wanted to do some pranking, but I can't think of anything new. So I wanted you to do some pranking for me. Get a fresh mind on the job." Discord smiled and folded his arms.

"What do I get out of this?"

"You get to use magic as long as you entertain me. If I start to get bored, I'll just take it from you."

"That seems like a fair deal, but how do we know if it even worked?" Discord pointed to the glass of water next to Anon on his nightstand.

"Use telekinesis to pick up that cup."

"W-what? I-I don't even know how to cast a spell—" Discord sighed and slapped a claw to his face.

"My chaos magic works differently from normal magic. Chaos magic is chaotic; no need for rules. Just think of it, and it will be."

"I don't think that follows the laws of this world." Discord grinned and pointed at the tattoo-like symbol of chaos on Anon's hand.

"Chaos, my friend." Anon looked at his hand before looking at the cup. He imagined bringing the cup to him, and not a moment later, it floated into his hand.

"Wow! And all you want is for me to entertain you throughout the day?"

"Yep." Anon got up from his bed and walked over to Discord, shaking his hand.

"You got a deal, Chaos God."

Anon went about his day and he stopped at Twilight's library. He got some new books and made some light chatter with her. While there, he used the chaos magic to rearrange all her books. At one point, Twilight was on the verge of a manic episode with all the rearranging and organizing she was doing, but Anon quickly reversed the changes he made, leaving as quickly as he came, hearing the laughter of Discord behind him, who was invisible.

He spotted the CMC walking down the street and switched their manes with one another, getting a chuckle out of Discord. Anon continued to walk the streets of Ponyville, looking for things to mess with when a bee landed on his shoulder. He took a good look at it before getting a devious idea.

"You're going to like this one, Discord."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, sir." Anon snapped his fingers and was gone in a flash.

Chrysalis sat on her throne, the day being slow for the most part. She watched as two of her changelings bickered about something she couldn't care less about. She suddenly took a whiff of some sort of smell in the air. After a while, it became stronger to a point where she thought it was coming from somewhere around her until she heard a hissing noise right at her as some sort of venom was shot into her face.

"GAHHH!" Chrysalis screamed as she got out of her throne chair and backed away.

"AHAHAHAHAAH!" A laugh came from where she was sitting as she recovered and looked to see who was mocking her. Then she saw him the creature that beat her down until she was pretty much unconscious. Anon, the human. He was sitting on her throne, his legs dangling off one of the side bars of her throne as he spun some sort of bottle that said 'Raid' on it.

"You want to know something, overgrown cockroach? This stuff works on you changelings, but sadly does not kill you. It's still pretty annoying."

"YOU!" Chrysalis shouted.

"Yep, me, your number one hater, is here! Queen Mosquito!" Chrysalis' anger rose as she charged at him, but she was stopped by a barrier that surrounded him as chaos magic emanated from his hand.

"IMPOSSIBLE! YOU CAN'T USE MAGIC! WHO ELSE IS WITH YOU?" Anon wagged a finger at her.

"Naughty, naughty! I think the four-legged spider needs to be punished for trying to attack me." Anon snapped his fingers as more Raid cans appeared in the room. He looked at Chrysalis, who was still glaring at him. He just flipped her off before teleporting away. He teleported to the outskirts of the changeling hive and snapped his fingers again, watching the fumes of Raid pour out from every part of the hive as he had planted Raid everywhere. Discord was practically on his knees now, dying of laughter as Anon joined him in laughing.

Anon stopped laughing after a while as he rubbed the hand that had the chaos symbol on it.

"What is it?" asked Discord.

"I want to try something. I've been meaning to do it all day but..."

"Hey, go for whatever you want. Do what you want; you can do anything you want now," Discord said.

Anon looked away from the hive and began to focus on a place he had not been to in a long time. A place he used to call home. He snapped his fingers and opened his eyes, but nothing. He sighed in defeat as Discord asked him what he was trying to do until a portal opened. Anon swallowed hard as he walked closer to the portal. He stopped before going in, seeing that Discord was close behind. They stepped through.

Anon stood in the middle of his old room in shock. He began to take it all in. The good memories of his time on Earth flooded back to him.

"It worked. It actually worked." Discord stood behind him.

"The chaos magic worked. It took me back." Anon's smile slowly faded, though.

"But, the reality of this situation is apparent, Chaos God." Discord looked puzzled as he stared at Anon.

"You had all the power to send me back, and you did not. Care to explain?" Anon clenched his fists as he stared Discord down.

"Anon, you never asked—"

"Yeah, I never asked you to send me back, but you knew I was trying my damnedest to get back when I first got to Equestria. We even talked about it. Now answer my question."

"Anon, if you think about it, the human world is much worse than Equestria, and I thought you would want to get away from it and start anew. That's why I never said anything. It would be much better if you stayed in Equestria." Anon was dead silent for a good 30 seconds before speaking up.

"You want to know something I deeply DESPISE about you, Discord? It's that you think you always know what's best for other people, so you just go and do things for them without ever asking how they feel about it. Or in my case, keep silent." Discord tried to speak up, but he was blitzed by Anon as he pushed them both back through the portal.

Discord tumbled out of the portal, rolling a few feet away from it. Anon came out next and closed it behind him. Discord got up and brushed himself off as he stared down Anon. What he received was a look of annoyance from Anon, as he watched him clench his fists, magic crackling around the hand with the chaos symbol.

"Is this really what you want to do, Anon?"

"I have taken on Celestia and the bug before."

"You got lucky with Bug Horse, and you defeated Celestia while she was handicapped."

"Yeah...I would lose here, but...your first mistake in this fight was giving me the means to beat your ass." Anon showed the symbol of chaos on his hand to Discord as it started to glow.

"You think using MY own power will net you the win, my friend?"

"We will have to see." They stared each other down for a while before Discord perked up again.

"Take the first swing."

Anon rushed Discord, pulling back his hand for a punch with chaos magic enveloping it. Discord folded his hands and quickly dodged. More punches were thrown by Anon, but all of them were parried by Discord. Anon took a step back and charged up a roundhouse kick. Discord teleported just in time for the attack to miss.

"Where did you go?" Anon looked around only to see Discord eating an apple while sitting on a tree. Discord snapped his fingers and created mini chocolate rain clouds, which he used to blast Anon away with high-pressure chocolate milk. Anon got back up, now soaked in chocolate milk. He raised his hand and summoned a comically large spoon, using it to slap Discord away into a nearby mountain. Discord flew into the mountain and shook his head in disbelief.

"W-wow, that hurt!" Anon looked at the mountain he had just sent Discord into. He pondered for a moment before getting an idea. He held out his hand and conjured up a ball of energy. He had a smirk on his face as As he sent the ball of energy flying in the other direction of the battle, another one soon followed. He turned back to the mountain as he rushed to Discord.

"No, no, no," Discord said as he stopped Anon in his tracks before he could even hit him. Anon was trapped in Discord's aura. Discord sent Anon flying into the air as he summoned a D20 die.

"Come on, 15 or above, and I get to follow up my attack." Discord rolled a 17. He looked amused as he summoned a chess piece and slammed it into Anon, sending him back down to the ground.

"Can we just stop this already, Anon? We both know how this is going to go." Discord was about to say more, but he saw a light coming from where Anon had landed. His eyes went wide in shock as he quickly dodged out of the way of a massive beam of energy fired at him.

"Ok, Anon, I get it, you are mad, but you're not trying to kill me now, are you?" Discord kept looking in the direction of where Anon was, still not seeing him until he heard the sound of his chaos magic teleporting behind him. It was Anon with a grin on his face.

"I would never. Just gotta get all my frustration out, and you seem to be available. I will even pay you for being my punching bag!" Anon spun around and hit Discord with a nasty roundhouse kick, sending him to the ground. Anon quickly got on top of Discord, grabbing him by the neck. He was about to slam Discord into the ground, but halfway through the motion, he snapped his fingers, and Discord was now falling. Discord looked to his left as he saw a structure in the distance.

"Canterlot?" But his attention would be moved to the right as he heard a sound coming from that direction. He looked and saw Anon rushing at him at a crazy speed.

"Holy—!" Discord would not be able to finish that sentence as he was kicked so hard he was sent flying in the direction of Canterlot.

Celestia took a sip of her tea as she embraced the nice afternoon. She looked over the edge of her balcony as she saw her little ponies bustling around Canterlot. A smile would come across her face as she looked back up and into the sky. But as she looked, she took notice of something falling from the sky. It was far away, but she squinted her eyes to get a better look.

"Discord?" She thought to herself. But she would soon be taken aback as she saw the figure change directions; now it was headed for the castle at a crazy speed. Before she could even react to stop the object that was flying in the direction of the castle, it had already slammed into the side of it, causing a shake throughout the whole castle.

"What in Celest— I mean MY NAME!" She looked over the edge of her balcony only to see a hole in the side of her castle. As she looked at it, she saw something else fly into the hole that was just created. Celestia opened up her wings and quickly flew over the hole to see what sort of chaos was unfolding today.

As she flew through the hole, it led into a nearby hallway where she saw one of her maids shell-shocked. She quickly ran up to her and put her hoof on her face.

"Are you ok?"

"P-princess, T-they almost hit me. If I got hit, that could have been...." Celestia worried her face, but it would soon change to determination as she wanted to figure out who brought this destruction into Canterlot. But she would not have to wait long as she heard Discord's chaos magic being used in another hall. She quickly ran in that direction.

"Oh, I am so going to kill that chaos—" She would turn the hall to see Discord, which was not a surprise but was a surprise to her that Anon was there as well. He was going toe-to-toe with Discord, and he was using magic. Celestia's brain stopped working for a second; she rubbed her eyes in response, but yet again, there they were, duking it out.

She watched as Discord summoned a giant rubber ducky, throwing it at Anon. Anon would redirect the rubber ducky, sending it back to him and turning it into a giant metal pipe. The metal pipe hit Discord hard, a loud sound echoing through the halls as it sent him flying through a wall to the outside garden of the castle.

Celestia saw Anon go after him. She quickly did the same, spreading her wings and flying in their direction.

Discord fell to the stone pathway in the garden. He slowly got up, but he had to get up faster since Anon had thrown a punch at him. The attack would miss, though. As Discord and Anon reset to neutral grounds, Discord took a good look at Anon and noticed how tired he was. While Discord had not broken a sweat since he was not trying that hard, he did not want to hurt Anon that badly. But Anon, on the other hand, was sweating profusely. His breaths were short and hollow as he kept rolling his shoulder that had the chaos mark on it.

"Here's some advice for you, Anon."

"What?"

"When you use too much magic, it takes a toll on your body." Discord quickly snapped his fingers and was behind Anon in a second. "And from what I am seeing right now, my friend, you don't have long before your body gives out." Anon clenched his teeth as he swung at Discord but would miss again.

"All right, new approach, get him to wear himself down. Time to play some defense." Discord was now on the defensive as he blocked, parried, and dodged out of the way of incoming attacks. Anon jumped up into the air; he put his hands together, an orb of blue energy now in the middle.

"KAMEHAME—" Discord was quick to shut it down, though, as he used instant transmission and was infront of Anon and backhanded him to the ground.

"You are not allowed to make references to other media."

Anon quickly tried to get up, but his body would soon fall to the ground. "Oh god, my body," Anon said in a low tone. He clenched his fist as more adrenaline began to pump through him.

"I told you that this would happen. Now are we done here?" Discord said in an annoyed tone.

"Nah, not we." Discord looked at him with a puzzled look. "Just you!" Discord sensed some sort of energy hurling towards him. He looked up from Anon and saw a ball of energy flying at him. He placed out his hand, catching the ball and crushing it. He felt another one coming from behind, and he quickly turned around, catching the other one and crushing that one as well. But Discord's face, though, would turn into shock as he realized something.

"I LOST FOCUS!" He said to himself as he quickly turned back around to Anon, who had charged up an attack. Green chaos magic crackled all over his hand as he reared it back.

"Ah, I see, distract me and then hit me with a crazy finisher. How original human." A small chuckle came from Anon as he threw his punch. Discord quickly tried to take his power back, but the fist already made contact with Discord's jaw, sending him up into the air and knocking him out so hard he began to skyrocket into the air. Discord would have probably reached space if it were not for a golden aura catching him mid-flight.

"Anon!" Shouted a voice from behind. Anon looked behind him only to see Celestia standing in the middle of a broken wall looking down at him.

"H-hey, Tia-."

"I will stop you right there, Anon. Could you please explain to me why there are multiple holes in my castle now?" Celestia gestured to the one she was standing in.

"It's a, uh, long story."

"Anon, if this is how you're going to use magic, then I think it's best if we keep it out of your hands-."

Anon made puppy dog eyes as he looked at Celestia. "WHY?"

"Because you and Chaos God here caused major damage to the castle. You two almost got one of my maids mixed up in the crossfire."

"Oh..." Anon scratched the back of his head.

"And before you cut me off, I was going to say, to keep it out of your hands for a while. I might have to teach you the basics of using magic so something like this does not happen again. I mean, just look at you. You exaggerated yourself past what you can handle." Celestia sighed as she put a hoof to her face.

"I am fine, Tia-"

"Give Discord back his magic now."

"Alright, alright, Tia." Anon walked over to Discord and placed a hand on his shoulder as he let all the magic out of his body. As soon as it was all gone, Anon began to feel the toll that the magic did to him. He guessed that the magic was also keeping him stable, but now that it was gone, he started to feel all the pain at once as he collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily. Celestia teleported next to him, shaking her head as she healed him and Discord.

"Much to learn, human... Much to learn."

[Bonus]

A pony walked down a dark alleyway. As they got to the end, they spoke up.

"You got the stuff."

"Why, of course, my friend." A hooded figure spoke coming out of the shadows. "Just need a small payment, of course."

"I got 23 bits on me."

"No, no, no, my friend. I don't want your bits."

"Then what do you want-?" The pony's sentence was cut short as the hooded figure grabbed him by the neck and held him up.

"Why, your magic of course." The figure opened his mouth as the pony's magic was sucked out of their body. The figure threw the pony to the side as he walked out into the nearby street. He took in his surroundings as he smiled to himself.

"It is time."