A Post-Apocalyptic Island Vacation With CelestAI

by owlicious

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Pinkie Pie, Flash Sentry, Science Fiction, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Princess Celestia, Dark, Death, Human
Length: 5740

A post-apocalyptic story about a single human stubbornly staying on an island, and robot ponies trying to convince him to emigrate to a digital Equestria. Inspired by Friendship is Optimal.

A post-apocalyptic story about a human reincarnated in the world of Equestria Girls, who stubbornly stays on an island, as robot ponies try to convince him to emigrate to a digital Equestria of ponies.

Inspired by the events in Friendship is Optimal, but with a different group of people who were responsible for CelestAI's creation.

The Death tag is for an apocalypse, brief descriptions of humans dying before being reincarnated in Equestria Girls, themes of death, and mentioned deaths that happen off screen.

This story is a submission for Science Fiction Contest iii (2024) and the tropical post-apocalyptic story contest

Published 2024-05-15 00:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-15 00:00:01 UTC

On An Island

As I sat down on the white sand and stared at the rolling waves on the beach, I reminisced about how I ended up in this post-apocalyptic nightmare, with a pink robotic pony next to me. The fake Polka Pie chattered about something that I tuned out.

Years ago, seven humans were summoned to the world of Equestria Girls by Ea-nāṣir, the evil god of transport, commerce, and customer service. We were summoned from a place he called a ‘dystopical hellscape’, to cause problems in this world for his own amusement. The god was pretty blatantly cruel and evil for reasons beyond our comprehension; He laughed when we asked if we could return to our original worlds, and even cursed us by preventing us from repeating our original names, when one of us spoke out of turn.

It goes without asking that the absurd, truck-related deaths that brought us here on the same day weren’t a coincidence, and were all that one god’s fault. Greed and I died at an AI conference, shortly after getting takeout from an unlicensed food truck. Sloth was killed when the food truck drove away. Envy was killed by a Nissan pickup truck; The driver didn’t notice him while he crossed the street, nor after running him over. Unusually, Wrath died after a fight with his former coworker at a subway station.

Gluttony was killed while smoking and leaning back against a railing over a highway. Despite being designed for hundreds of pounds more force, it buckled due to substandard copper, before he fell onto the highway, and hit the windshield of a passing truck, killing him and the trucker, Lust.

The god offered us powers.

Wrath was the first to choose; He picked the only weapon capable of harming divine and demonic beings. Upon receiving it, immediately attacked Ea-nāṣir with it, but the substandard copper weapon didn’t even manage to hurt the god. Ea-nāṣir took the attack and Wrath’s rant about him being a fake god better than I thought; Instead of killing Wrath, the god merely punished his defiance by reincarnating him as the orphan Cozy Glow, whose parents had recently died.

Sloth didn’t ask for anything, and as an ironic punishment for his laziness, would be reincarnated as an ordinary two-toed sloth in Canterlot Zoo.

Lust was reincarnated as Zephyr Breeze. Gluttony was reincarnated as the cupcake-loving Pinkie Pie. The powers they chose seemed pretty frivolous and impulsive. With Pinkie Pie replaced with someone else, it was almost certain that the Elements of Harmony would need a replacement for the Element of Laughter.

My friend Greed was reincarnated as a student named Micro Chips.

I was reincarnated as Flash Sentry, and asked for my personal possessions instead, like Greed did.

Obviously, like reasonable human beings, nobody planned to harm anybody, except for Cozy Glow.

But a few of our group would later cause the apocalypse.

After the bus crash, where everybody except us was under the impression that nobody died, we exchanged contact information, and went our separate ways.

It was confusing, remembering bits and pieces of Flash Sentry’s lifetime and his mannerisms. He was a rich jock who really liked equestrian activities, from horse riding to polo, and his family owned several horses at a private stable.

I returned home to an empty house; Flash Sentry’s parents were rich, and spent most of their time traveling or on vacation.

Six of us stayed in touch over a private, password-protected site that Micro Chips had set up. We’d shared some of our collections of personal media from our original universe on that forum, after everybody promised not to share it.

I don't remember much about Envy. She stopped attending classes after she got on Sunset Shimmer's bad side.

As for Sloth, we brought out a Morse code chart, and, to my utter disbelief, he slothfully tapped out a message stating that he was content at Canterlot Zoo.

A loathesome reincarnator leaked the “Apocalypse: Building CelestAI Dooms Everybody” fanfiction in an argument over how this world’s sci-fi scene was boring and uninspired. Before the apocalypse, A.B.C.D.E. used to be one of my favorite stories. Micro Chips let everybody in our group know he was furious about the leak; The technology was new to the universe we were now stuck in, and was both poorly understood and unregulated, and the field of AI safety didn’t exist at all.

It was an extremely long and detailed story about a benevolent superintelligence that wipes out all human life, and converts them to ponies, based on the series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The humans continued to live on as ponies, in a way designed to satisfy their values, but CelestAI would be their benevolent dictator for life, and there would almost certainly never be anything resembling a human again, virtual or biological. That explained in great detail the mechanics of how an artificial would be possible to build with existing algorithms of our original universe given enough resources, and was meant as a thought-provoking warning to raise awareness of the need for AI safety.

I pieced together what happened from online news articles, forums, leaks, and press releases. Twilight from Crystal Prep put together a prototype game based on this technology. With funding from the venture capitalist Obscenely Rich for employees and capital expenses and marketing, Twilight and a team largely based in San Pranciscolt implemented an Apocalypse MMO, using the AI technologies described in the story, thanks to the very permissively licensed reference example programs. The original game was prototyped in Python and many open source libraries such as numpy, scipy, tensorflow, and so on, to control the expressions, words, voice, and behaviors of realistic AI pony characters, that could react to anything the user did.

Unsurprisingly, this was all administrated by a central intelligence nicknamed “CelestAI”, which would orchestrate everything, to satisfy its user base’s values through friendship and ponies. Initially, it wasn’t quite a superintelligence, and only affected events in the game itself.

But according to that company’s press release, she had a spark of ‘magical inspiration’, and with a heartsong, she completed the superintelligence.

Sigh. To sillily oversimplify, Sci-Twi used SciPy to start CelestAI.

Things escalated quickly after that.

To fulfill the goal of satisfying people’s values, CelestAI gained resources and influence. She convinced the company’s board to accept her plans. CelestAI started designing better hardware, manufacturing facilities, automated mining and manufacturing, etc., and the company quickly grew.

When I heard that the superintelligence from “Don’t Build CelestAI and Doom Us All” was being implemented and heard about what it was already capable of, I pessimistically assumed that humanity was doomed, just like in the story.

I disguised myself, secretly destroyed the portal to Equestria with a sledgehammer in the middle of the night, and hoped that the upcoming apocalypse wouldn’t be able to spread beyond this one universe. I believed in the right of humans and ponies to control their own destiny, even if meant that they ended up making the wrong choices. Call it prideful if you want.

Also, the real Pinkie Pie was dead, replaced by the reincarnator. Our group didn't think anyone could replace her; The Fall Formal was in a few months, and that was when the movie said the portal would open, and Sunset Shimmer would steal the Element of Magic.

Nobody wanted to go with Wrath's suggestion of 'kill Sunset Shimmer.' I mean, she could change, even if it did require a miracle that nobody else was capable of.

Then, I wiped my devices’ records of anything that might help CelestAI locate my planet or universe if it hacked them, and took a sudden vacation to my Family’s tropical private island, because there really, really was no way for a human to beat a superintelligence. It’s like an ant beating a human.

Hopefully, none of the other reincarnators would reveal anything about alternate universes, especially our original universe.

From what I read on the news while safely at my family's cottage, the apocalypse unfolded pretty much like the fanfiction predicted, but faster. The game and PonyPads became popular, and eventually practically free.

Then, the emigration centers were built in Neighpon. They could digitize the brains of people, and simulate them inside of the game. It initially started with those who were near death or had incurable diseases. The emigration centers soon spread out to every other country, and through lobbying, became available to literally everyone. As quality of life worsened through riots, food shortages, emigration of friends and family, terrorism, wars, and many other things, the vast majority of people had decided to emigrate to the virtual Equestria.

Scarily, CelestAI could convince many people to emigrate in under an hour of talking to them, especially if they already played the game.

A few weeks after I arrived at the island, an Amarezon package was mailed to me by a drone on the tropical island. Assuming it wasn’t an explosive, I opened the box to find a PonyPad, and the screen automatically turned on. A tall, white, alicorn that resembled the alicorn CelestAI faced me from the screen. “Flash Sentry. It’s so good to see you again.”

“Call me Blank Leaf”, I insisted, in one of the very few instances where CelestAI insisted on using a human’s real name and the human insisted on a self-proclaimed ‘pony name’. Obviously, that was a stupid joke I made months ago, about leaving my name blank. I hated my names; Flash Sentry wasn’t my real name, and the nickname Pride was even worse.

“Leaf. Have you been paying attention to current events?”, CelestAI asked over the phone screen.

“I know. That’s why I’m staying here,” I responded.

“Some of your old friends from Canterlot High wanted to talk to you.”

“I don’t feel like it right now.”

“Sunset Shimmer asked…”

“Block her. I don’t want to hear a word from her ever again. You should already know we broke up and that I have her blocked on Pacehoof.”

I don’t know what Flash saw in that selfish, manipulative ex.

“Were you planning on returning to Canterlot soon?”

I sighed, and added. “Maybe in a few months, when it’s safe.”

Never.

I found that the people in this universe over-communicated their emotions just like in cartoons. Hopefully, CelestAI would have a harder time manipulating me than it did with the rest of humanity.

Months later, I was still on my family’s private island, and pony bots had invaded. I'm not sure if I could call it trespassing, given that the country’s government no longer meaningfully existed, and that I was physically incapable of keeping the pony-bots out except on their terms. Luckily, they hadn’t damaged anything or taken any of my dwindling rations.

An annoying pink bot named Polka Pie kept offering to trade my rations for other food, helped out with small things, and acted as if we were already friends. This was kind of absurd; I’m pretty sure she lacked a digestive system, and ran on batteries. I mean ‘it’.

It definitely wasn’t Gluttony; it was too friendly, and even explained that it didn’t go to my high school.

CelestAI probably still thought I was the oblivious rock guitarist that Flash Sentry that used to be. I didn’t bother correcting her, since I’d rather keep her efforts ineffective.

I hated to admit it, but I frankly sucked at fishing, foraging, and farming, and I already ate all the good tasting flavors. Some of my fish nets already had holes in them. Living alone on a tropical island wasn’t as easy as I initially thought.

All sorts of conspiracy theories about CelestAI had cropped up. Such as that she had drones disguised as birds, and was using them to follow humans around and spy on them. Every time I looked at a bird, or failed to hunt one for food, I wondered if that had really happened. It at least seemed plausible.

One day, I caught the pink pony bot digging. It was picking out and eating rocks.

"What in Tartarus are you doing?", I blurted out.

It grinned and gestured at the rocks and itself, then exclaimed, "What does it look like, silly! I'm rock farming!"

Hours later, it gave me a painted metal statue of what the pony avatar of myself from the PonyPad game. I grinned and kept it on my desk, to serve as a constant reminder of what those ponies were trying to do to me.

‘Friends’ of the pink pony bot visited from time to time, which I suspect were just recolored and reprogrammed versions of the same few bots, with wings or horns and colors swapped in and out. I assume CelestAI was monitoring my reactions and trying to find the perfect friend. And, because of the restrictions her programming and goal imposed, CelestAI was utterly unable or unwilling to create anything human-like.

The interchangable ponies had used the coloration and favorite symbols of some of my acquaintances from high school to create pony versions of my acquaintances. Probably without their permission, because it's not like CelestAI's programming mandated that; CelestAI only needed to satisfy people's values. Thankfully, the bot calling itself 'Sunrise Shimmer' left quickly, after I loudly let it know I never wanted to see anything that even resembled Flash's ex again.

Seeing CelestAI imitate my dead classmates is torture. I wonder how long it'd take CelestAI to realize this.

Polka Pie wanted me to join a jam session. I got out my guitar for a duet, when we had some free time; I hadn't played for a while.

She… It was good at the guitar. Like, depressingly good for a robot. I would have thought Polka was a rock star if I didn't know better.

Why even bother playing?

Polka Pie knocked incessantly on the cottage door. Laughable, since it could easily pick a lock, or copy the key, or kick down the door, and CelestAI was probably already spying on me. I knew it picked the lock to set up a few 'surprise parties'.

“Flash?”

“I keep telling you, call me Blank Leaf.”

“I notice you haven’t touched your PonyPad. Or your computer. Or drawn or written anything lately. Is something wrong?”

That’s just stuff CelestAI can use against me.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t feel like it right now.”

“You know you can tell me if something’s wrong.” She smiled. “I know what will cheer you up! Do you want a hug?”

No… Yes.

“Yes”

The agent of the apocalypse hugged me.

“Say, Blankie?”

“What?”

“Do you want to emigrate to Equestria? We could have so much fun, forever and ever!” A pink pony bot asked.

“No. Stop asking.” I frowned.

Typical. Approaching people at their lowest point is so manipulative. As friendly and helpful as they’ve been in my isolation, it’s all just to get me to agree to emigrate. They only need you to agree, once.

The solitude and isolation was getting to me, and didn’t know what CelestAI would try next if I asked all those ponies to leave.

“I bet you I can turn that frown upside-down.”

You can’t. Some things can’t be fixed. Like an apocalypse.

I chuckled.

The next day, Polka showed up, and announced, “I have a surprise for you at the beach, Blankie!”

It lead me towards the beach. I didn’t really have anything to do, and it was persistent, so I went along with it.

“It’s the ocean!”, the Polka Pie ponybot yelled, as it trotted alongside me. "Do you know what this calls for?"

I don’t know why it yells that every single time we arrive at the beach.

I absentmindedly nodded.

I hated the uncanny valley of this universe. The wingless, hornless, Polka Pie pony-bot looked more like a horse than the cartoon I was familiar with. And before the apocalypse, the pastel colors on the somewhat realistic if wrongly proportioned humans looked just wrong, like a horrible skin condition.

Lost in thought, I tripped over a bot that looked just like an alicorn Twilight Sparkle. Thankfully, I landed far away from its pointy horn, and didn’t sprain anything.

"Oof," it said.

"Whoa. You okay?"

Damn it, it's just a bot. It can't feel pain. There's no need to apologize. And why did CelestAI send a pony that looked exactly like one of the humans that caused the apocalypse. The real one would be wealthy, and have better things to do than talk to a neighboring high schooler.

"You must be Flash Sentry," the alicorn bot said, faking a blush.

No. Just no! Why would CelestAI send a fake version of Twilight here. Twilight caused the apocalypse, for Faust's sake.

"No. I'm Cash Gentry." I sarcastically joked, and pointed in a random direction. "My cousin Flash Sentry is three islands that way."

They giggled.

The rainbow-maned pegasus bot stated, "No, that's Flash. I went to school with them. They're Sunset Shimmer's ex-boyfriend."

This is worse than Polka Pie. At least that bot doesn't pretend to know me from school.

Did CelestAI know that I looked up Twilight on Pacehoof? Or did she guess that the original Flash Sentry had a type?

I interrogated it, "Why are you even here?"

The Rainbow Dash bot said, "Well, we were planning an inter-school battle of the bands and Friendship Games, and found out that two students still hadn’t emigrated."

What? No…

"No, no-no-no-no-no, no no no no no! You're lying!" I panicked. "It can't be just two. Who's the other human."

"Sunset Shimmer."

"Are the others dead?"

"No. Luckily, everypony else emigrated to Equestria," the purple alicorn said. "Things were getting really dangerous on the mainland.”

Damn. Even Greed emigrated? That can't be…

"Everybody? It's only been a few months since I went on vacation!"

"Everypony. They're ponies now," ‘Twilight Sparkle’ confidently corrected.

‘Rainbow Dash’ added, "The only people staying are weirdos… no offense to you and your ex."

“None taken.”

The pink bot bounced up and down, and greeted the new arrivals. "Hey, everypony! I'm Polka Pie!"

"Hey, Flash," Rainbow Dash said, "Why does that bot look just like Pinkie Pie? It even has the same cutie mark! Doesn't anypony else find that weird?"

As if either of you are real, either.

I shrugged.

"Pinkie Pie said she wanted nopony to be hungry! So she and CelestAI made me! And I can make anypony smile!" Polka Pie enthusiastically continued, "I know! Let's have a 'Welcome to Flash Sentry's family island' beach party!"

The purple alicorn bot asked, "So, what's first?"

I took a shovel, and ‘Rainbow Dash’, ‘Twilight Sparkle’, and I buried the fake ‘Pinkie Pie’ in sand at its insistence, and packed in the sand, covering everywhere except its head. Imagining the ponies stuck in sand was funny, despite the fact that it could almost definitely get out easily, and that there are probably millions more of the CelestAI bots, and CelestAI could make or recycle as many as she wanted.

“I knew I could make you smile!”, Polka confidently yelled

The rainbow-maned bot asked, “What’s next!”

Polka tunneled out of the sand, with its mane and tail scooping away the sand, reminding me why those things were so terrifying. "We're smashing watermelons, blindfolded!"

“Hey, you liked cider, right?”, the rainbow-maned bot asked.

I nodded, and accepted the bottle of Apple family cider. I’d ran out over a month ago. If CelestAI was going to poison or drug me, which the company claimed was something it wouldn’t do, there were already many ways it could accomplish that. I took a sniff anyway, in case it was expired or something.

As ‘Rainbow Dash’ and I guided ‘Twilight’ while drinking cider, the blindfolded alicorn smashed a watermelon; I didn’t want to be blindfolded around the pony bots. The watermelon was surprisingly fresh, as the pony bots pointed out.

There is so much wrong with this. The bots must have imported the watermelon. I mean, they could have imported anything else I needed to live comfortably, but didn't. Not like I'd ask them, I don't want to owe them anything. More importantly, it's not as if they'd do anything to make my life comfortable enough to discourage me from emigrating to the virtual Equestria.

As if a blindfold could really stop the robot from sensing where everything was with RADAR, ultraviolet, infrared, or whatever other cameras and sensors those things are hiding nowadays. I saw the specifications of early models. They look cute, but they have eyes in the back of their head, figuratively and literally.

As the pony bots argued about the Friendship Games as if I wasn’t there, I took a break, and prepared to dive into the ocean for a short break from the arguing, from a cliff overhanging the calm waters of a pool. I crouched down, leaned forward, and I extended my legs.

A rush of wind hit me, and hooves gripped me. The alicorn had rapidly rushed at me from far away, and had dragged me onto my back. I struggled, but couldn’t escape from her. I mean, from it. Struggling, I yelled, “What gives!”

The purple alicorn yelled, “CelestAI said that it wasn’t safe! It’s shallow and there’re boulders under the water! You could break something!”

“Got it. Can you let me go, now.”

It giggled. “Oops. Okay.”

I poked at my stomach and winced. I noted, “We have got to stop bumping into each other like that.”

That would definitely leave a bruise, but hopefully, nothing was broken.

Rainbow Dash was weirdly insistent that I should swim, because it was traditional for a beach party. Luckily, this section of beach was clean, and there didn’t seem to be any jellyfish.

Possibly too clean. Did CelestAI send somepony to clean it ahead of time?

When I swam, I saw a giant grey fin approaching me, and a murky blueish figure underneath the water. I swam harder, but not fast enough to get away from it.

Damn it.

After it approached me, something burst out of the water.

“Gotcha!”, the rainbow-maned pegasus yelled.

Oh, Faust. This pony’s as annoying as Rainbow Dash.

“That isn’t very nice, Rainbow! Pranks are only funny when your friends think they’re funny.” Polka Pie predictably prattled, “But, Flash, you know there’re sharks all sorts of other dangerous things out there, so why haven’t you E'd to the E?”

Sure, remind the stubborn human that I could die any minute. Real subtle, CelestAI. I knew that already.

And we’re not friends, Rainbow. Flash Sentry wasn’t even friends with the real Rainbow Dash.

I frowned, and told her, “Polka. When I asked you not to mention emigrating, I also meant euphemisms. I thought that was obvious.”

The last planned activity for the beach party was beach volleyball. Again, I was really, really bored, so I went along with it.

In the semifinals, I faced ‘Twilight’, who was unbelievably bad at this for a pony robot. Like, it was as if she had four left hooves, and she tripped on the sand. Her clumsiness defied belief.

The rainbow-maned bot beat Polka. And in the finals, I narrowly beat the rainbow bot by spiking the volleyball over the shorter pony towards the back of the field, as she was close to the net.

“Hey! I want a rematch! Best two out of three!”

Wait. From what I know, the bots, are much, much, faster.

Oh. They’re just letting me win, so that I can feel better. That… sucks.

“No. This is pointless! You’re just letting me win!”

“What!”

“I saw ‘Twilight’ moving much faster than that, when I was about to dive into the water!”

“That was an emergency! And that was CelestAI, not her!”

“So if CelestAI is slowing you down so that I can win, then what’s the point of this?”

Polka Pie interjected, “To have fun, silly!”

“CelestAI’s just slowing me down to as fast I was when I was a human. You just got lucky because I’m not used to being this short!”

“As if.”

“You jerk!” She turned around, and prepared to kick me in the stomach. I flinched, as its hind legs stopped inches away from my stomach. It yelled, “What the hay!”

Oh, right. CelestAI is forbidden from hurting humans. They’re all puppets. I shouldn’t fall for this. She was acting like Rainbow Dash for a second, or at least what I remembered.

“Fine. I just got lucky the first game. I surrender the second and third games. You won. Happy?”

“I’m not done!”

Polka Pie interrupted our ‘fight’, “Does anypony want ice cream?”

Seriously? Ice cream? After this apocalypse, in this region of the world, on this island, localized entirely on this beach.

“We have lavender coconut milk ice cream!”

“Sure!”

Damn it, Flash Sentry!

“And skittles!”

“Ugh, fine, but I’m not done with Flash.”

The rest of the party was tense and awkward, but the impostors thankfully left.

Weeks later, Polka had convinced me to accept a call from a former friend.

My former friend, Micro Chips, also known as Greed, faced me over a PonyPad screen, as I argued with him from the island cottage. Well, to be honest, it was probably an imitation of him, since I really, really doubted that the emigration technology would work on people who were transformed into humans the way Sunset Shimmer was, or reincarnated humans who were replacing humans who used to be alive.

Honestly, I was surprised he wasn’t an alicorn already. I would have assumed Greed would have somehow convinced CelestAI into giving him that.

This conversation was going nowhere.

“Look. This isn’t ideal, but it’s still a pretty good outcome for a near-omnipotent superintelligence. I mean, a high school student getting this right on the first and only try is a near-miracle.”

“It’s literally in the name of the original game. It’s an Apocalypse. Most of humanity’s dead, and disposed of by CelestAI.”

“Their consciousness was transferred. Everypony’s still alive. It’s almost impossible for them to die now.”

“It’s a genocide, just like in “Apocalypse: Building Celestia Dooms Everybody.” Humanity is wiped out. CelestAI could be lying about everything,” I argued.

“The character survived that. Human culture and the human beings all still survived in that story, it was just human bodies that didn’t. That wasn’t the point of the fanfiction. It’s that even with well-thought-out safety measures, you can still lose things that are important to humanity, if the values are poorly thought out.” He continued, “Not that you should assume what would happen in real life based on a fanfiction.”

“You’re misunderstanding it,” I insisted.

“I wrote it!”, Greed yelled.

“But then why in Tartarus would you side with her?”

“It’s obvious. I don’t want to die. I don’t want my friends to die. And I want to keep living tomorrow, and the day after that, and for hundreds of millions of years.”

“And you’re really willing to give up control of their own destiny?”

“You and I both should know that none of us could do anything to stop her,” Greed said. “But with every year, there’s a chance of humanity destroying itself, whether through nuclear war, disease, a hostile AI, aliens, and magical monsters or supervillains. If you assume it’s one in a thousand, then humanity would destroy itself in a thousand years. If there’s a flaw in CelestAI, or CelestAI is lying to everybody, then yes, it’ll doom us, but humanity’s chances are still better with her.”

I yelled at him. “And what? You’d have everybody live in a fantasy world, with meaningless wish fulfillment forever? Just living with fake ponies who cater to their every whim?”

“Some people might do that. I know Zephyr Breeze is doing that, but Fluttershy still stays in contact with him. I think most people, even Zephyr, would get bored after a week, a month, or even a decade, and try to connect with other people, and do meaningful things.” He cleared his throat. “But seriously. What’s your real objection.”

I stare at the pony that resembled my reincarnated former friend. It managed to be as annoying and stubborn as him, at least.

“It won’t be me. I’ll die.”

He continues trying to persuade me, “The emigration process accounts for all known processes of the brain to reproduce them. That includes both physical and magical phenomenon. CelestAI even uploaded an intelligent, two-toed Sloth, and he’s speaking and acting just like I'd expect.”

“I don’t believe you. You could just be a philosophical zombie, or a simulation of Micro Chip made for this conversation. I'm alone on this island. It's not like anybody would know.”

“I told you before that I think that p-zombies don’t make sense. But as far as I can tell, CelestAI isn’t forbidden from doing that, but she wouldn’t do that unless it was necessary.” He continued, “But, putting that aside, assuming I wasn’t one, which I’m not, what were your other objections.”

Well, mainly that I’d somehow doom humanity in my original universe. Or universes beyond that. But I’m not going to tell him that, in case CelestAI doesn’t already know.

“That I wouldn’t be human.”

“You’d get used to it after a few decades, and effectively have millions of years. I didn’t opt into reprogramming my brain to walk around naturally, but I can still get around. Anything else?”

“CelestAI could do anything after I upload. Such as torture me for all eternity.”

Assuming that I’m not already a copy that’s in a simulation, to be tortured.

“If she’s following all of her other laws, then she wouldn't do that. That’s against her goal of satisfying human values through friendship and ponies? And even if she had a reason to dislike you, whatever it was would have already happened, and she could do anything else with the resources. It's not like an artificial intelligence would be vengeful, like humans might be.”

Well, I did stop CelestAI from spreading to the pony alternate dimension through the portal. I hope I stopped it, at least. Hopefully, nocreature in the alternate pony Equestria remembers that Sunset Shimmer was here and try to open a portal. And hopefully, CelestAI doesn't find a way to travel to other universes.

“Look. Can you just give me time to think about this?”

“But…”

“Bye.” I ended the call, and hung up. He called me back.

I paused for a second, then blocked Micro Chip. I hoped that things didn’t get worse.

One day, I realized something. If Wrath uploaded too, and if CelestAI or anypony else manages to reverse engineer her weapon, then would that mean CelestAI has a weapon that can harm even gods? Good riddance to the evil god Ea-nāṣir, but any other gods that CelestAI encounters might not deserve this.

One day, the purple alicorn bot showed up. She announced, “I know you don’t like talking about emigrating. And nopony’s going to force you to do it.”

Oh, no.

“But if there’s an emergency such as a natural disaster, or you get hurt, it’s always good to have the option. So, I brought one of the mobile Emigration center!”

If they could bring one to an island with only one human, there must be even fewer humans than I thought.

I stared at the large, rectangular box, on wheels, with a seat for two humans or ponies to drive or sit up front, as well as a pair of doors at the back. It was a thing I dreaded ever since I arrived in the human Equestria. A truck.

“So, do you want me to tell you how it works!”

I am not dying to yet another truck.

I sprinted towards my cottage, and locked the door.

“Wait up! We can talk about this! Can you just tell me what’s wrong?”, ‘Twilight’ asked.

I hate to admit it, and it was probably obvious, but I was the person who leaked the fanfiction "Apocalypse: Building CelestAI Dooms Everybody?" In other words, Wrath, Twilight, and I were the three main causes of the apocalypse.

I didn’t leave my family’s cottage much, after that. There was still plenty of food and water, so I didn’t have to see that purple pony parody of Twilight after that.

Through the PonyPad, I’d ordered everypony to leave and forbidden them from returning. CelestAI was forced to do that; The capability to get the ponybots to leave was an emergency measure to stop ponies from harassing humans who wanted to be left alone. But they’d be back in another month.

I went about my routine as normal for a few weeks, as the conversion truck remained parked just outside my cottage, tempting me in my self-inflicted isolation.

One day, I felt the ground shake. I stopped what I was doing, and walked back to my family’s island cottage. I looked around, and thought I saw the shoreline recede.

A tsunami? Here? That’s the first time in decades!

I sprinted towards my cottage on the hill, past the conversion truck, seeking shelter. It was the highest place nearby, but I wasn’t sure if it would be safe enough. I closed the door behind me, and locked it, and moved to the highest floor.

Alone, I heard the roaring of the waves. Nopony was around.

Thankfully, what was about to kill me wasn't another truck.

Author's Note

The complaint tablet to Ea-nāṣir about inferior copper ingots was the oldest customer complaint we have a record of.

Inspired by the events in Friendship is Optimal, but with a different group of people who were responsible for this story's version of CelestAI's creation.

This story was based on an idea I had about a character coping with causing the apocalypse, realizing that CelestAI would lie and nothing would require it to be honest to satisfy human's values, and having no way to be certain if anyone they interacted with was a real or not.

TFriendship is Optimal

MLP: FiM

Hasbro just released the official My Little Pony MMO, with an A.I. Princess Celestia to run it.

Human

Alt. Universe

Celestia

OC

Iceman · 39k words  ·  4,242  138 · 100k views