“Is everypon-- er-- everybody here?”
“Um, it looks like it…?”
“Hello, darlings!”
“‘Sup, horses.”
“Silly Dashie, we’re horses now too!”
“Ponies, specifically. Any horse measuring less than fifty-eight inches-- or one hundred and fourty-seven centimeters-- at the withers. The only two of us who are ‘horses’ at the moment, physically-speaking, are Pony-Twilight and both Fluttershies.”
“... Well alright then, sugarcube!”
“What? Why are you all looking at her like that? She’s right!”
“UGH! I knew getting more than one Twilight in the same place was a bad idea.”
“I dunno, I think that’s actually really interesting.”
“Thank you, Fluttershy. And, speaking of differences, how come I get to keep my glasses and my hair-- or, mane, I suppose-- in a bun, but my clothes are all gone?”
“I’m… not sure. Sunset, thoughts?”
“No, no. I’m just here to observe.”
“Well, I, for one, am glad to see my alternate-reality self is just as fabulous as my pony self.”
“Oh, Rarity, you flatter me! Or you. Or however we’re to phrase this-- Twilights, how are we supposed to phrase this?”
“Um, I don’t actually kno--”
“There’s no precedent in human history for how syntax in conversation with another of yourself is parsed, and I have no access to equine history.”
“Hehe, hey Sparkles, this one’s an even bigger dork than you!”
“Yeah she is! I knew I’d like you, horse-bow-dash. Fist-bump! Or, uh, hoof-bump? There’s gotta be a better word for that.”
“OOOOOOO!! I love coming up with better words! How about ‘high-one’?”
“Yeah, yeah! We do say that sometimes! Also ‘bro-hoof’, but I don’t like that one as well! But I do like cupcakes!!”
“YAY! I LIKE CUPCAKES TOO!!”
“WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON OH MY GAWWWWSH!!”
“Pinkie!”
“Sorry.”
“Sorry, Fluttershyses-es, didn’t mean to yell…”
“Oh it’s okay, but thank you for stopping.”
“Oh, Fluttershy, the purple eyeshadow looks absolutely stunning! Do you always wear that, or did you get all dressed up just to see us?”
“Oh, she’s worn that darn near every day I’ve known ‘er.”
“Oh, hey, Applejack, I’ve been wantin’ to ask ya this since I knew about y’all…”
“Shoot, sugarcube.”
“Do y’all ponies have cars, or trucks, or anythin’?”
“Eeyup, and Big Macintosh an’ I are the best at pullin’ ‘em this side o’ Ghastly Gorge!”
“...Pullin’?”
“You… you all don’t pull yer carts?”
“Eenope.”
“Wait, you guys don’t have cars?”
“I guess not, Pinkie-Person-- may I call ya Pinkie-Person?-- I figured my other self here meant ‘carts’ and ‘buggies’.”
“Sunset, stop snickering at her, she doesn’t know.”
“What don’t I know, Twi??”
“GUYS! Important question!! How old are humans?”
“...D-do you mean just in general, Pinkie, or--”
“I mean how old are you? The ones who aren’t ponies??”
“Well, we’re ponies right now, but Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity are nineteen, and Pinkie Pie and Applejack are eighteen and seventeen respectively. I’m the youngest at sixteen, but graduated two years early because I tested out of so many things.”
“Hehe, I had no idea this other Twi was so smug!”
“Wait, what? How long do humans live for?”
“Like eighty years-ish? My grandpa lived to be a hundred and two, but I think that’s cuz he was always pretty athletic, like me. Don’t horses, or ponies, or whatever, only live like 30 or something?”
“What? No! Our lifespans are just as long as yours, sometimes longer, even. Why’d you think that?”
“Well, pretty-li’l-pony-princess, Rainbow here was just rememberin’ how one of my horses died at 27 a few years back. Poor Giorno was awful old an’ grey by time he passed, but he had a good life, I reckon.”
“Wait… how long do Equestrian ponies live?? Sunset, stop laughing!”
“Well, Granny smith is a hundred an’ ninety-two, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are twenty-eight, Twilight and Pinkie are both twenty-seven. I’m twenty-six, an’ my doctor says I got a good fifty more in me if I don’t overwork myself like I used-ta.”
“‘Used to?’ Hah! You never stopped overworking yourself, Apples! Dial down about ten notches so you can at least make it to our *third* anniversary.”
“Well, maybe I wouldn’t have-tah if a certain winged varmint would pull ‘er own weight.”
“Aw, you know you love me~”
“Wait, y’all are… married?”
“Uh, yeah? What, are you two obvious lesbians not out yet, or something?”
“Rainbow Dash, manners!”
“...Fluttershy?”
“Sorry, force of habit for this one.”
“Wait, you and the other Dash are together?”
“Well, I dunno, I could see it! Assuming you both were also close childhood friends in the other world too. Do you want me to hold a coming-out party for you?”
“Oh, dear little Pinkie-Pony-Pie, I handled that last year!”
“Darn it, I shoulda known Pinkie-Person would’ve been on top of it! What am I supposed to do with all this pride confetti?”
“I can’t see it at all! We were more like sisters!”
“Um… But what about that time in flight camp where we--”
“Not including that!! Also, there are children present, apparently, so shush.”
“Well, darlings, I’m very happy for you, and I feel it’s worth mentioning that Applejack and I have been an item for the past few months.”
“No offense to either of you, darlings, but… Applejack?”
“Whuh-- hey! That’s my wife you’re sayin’ you wouldn’t smooch!”
“No, no, Rainbow Dash, I’m not saying I wouldn’t have a little fun with her if the opportunity presented itself--”
“Hey, that’s my wife you’re sayin’ you’d f--”
“But I think our personalities are incompatible for anything more than the occasional hay-roll or what have you.”
“...”
“Well, seeing as I’ve apparently brought the conversation to a screeching halt with my addition, does anypony-- excuse me, every sentient creature--have any other romantic anomalies to discuss? I do find this particular topic quite amusing.”
“Well, Twi and I got together after she broke up with a guy named Timber when he moved away.”
“Wait, Sunset, how old are you?”
“Oh, you didn’t know? I’m seventeen.”
“That means you… Oh my goodness, Sunset, you poor thing! You must have been so scared when you ran away! A poor little filly, lost, alone--”
“Thank you for your concern, Fluttershy, but it’s behind me now.”
“...”
“What? Guys, it’s been like a whole year since I was evil! I’m over it.”
“...Do you wanna talk about it--”
“No.”
