The Follies of Flying Friends

by wonderkid125

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1011

"I knew I should have gotten the unnatural disaster insurance..."

Rainbow Dash likes to go fast. As a result, Rainbow Dash ends up crashing a lot. This is an uneventful, semi-regular occurrence that Rainbow has made peace with...

Twilight has not.

An entry for the Dialogue Only contest.
Written by me, and humored (proofread) by the amazing Paracompact

Published 2024-05-08 21:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-08 21:20:00 UTC

Or: Twilight Finds Flying Friends Frequently Frustrate

“Rainbow Dash!”

“Wh… huh? Oh. Hey, Twi.”

“What are you doing in my tree?!”

“Uh… napping?”

“Right. Napping. You just happened to get a bit sleepyafter crashing through two of my windows and wrapping yourself around a tree branch!”

“Hey, all that was like that when I got here.”

“Wh… bu… Grr! YOU ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF! I was just minding my own business, drinking tea and reading! Now my room is covered in broken glass, a bookshelf fell over, AND my only copy of the latest volume of ‘Arch-Mage’s Compendium for Convenient Charms’ is ruined! Do you know how hard it is to get tea stains out of parchment?!”

“Woah, what is going on in here? Oh… Oh! Why is there glass everywhere?! What the hay happ— Oh, no… What did you do, Rainbow Dash?!”

“Spike, bud, now might not be the best time.”

“Grrrr…!”

“Uh… I-I can see you guys are really busy, so… uh…! I’m gonna… go find a broom to clean up this mess! Yeah!”

“Hey! Don’t you leave me alone with her!”

“Sorrygoodluckbye!!”

“Well, I think Spike had the right idea. I’m just gonna… go find another broom… at my place… heh heh. I’d hate to bother you when you’re so busy, so I’ll just— Ack!”

“Not so fast! Before you leave… and before I defeather you—”

“D-Defeather…?!”

“—you’re going to explain to me just what in Celestia’s name you were doing!”

“Woah, woah, woah! Okay… okay, calm down… err, I-I mean stay calm! Uh…! I-I mean you’re totally calm and reasonable right now! You’re fine! We’re just two friends having a definitely-non-violent convers—”

“RAINBOW!”

“Eeep!”

“You. Disaster. Explain. Now.”

“Y-Yes ma’am! Okay… so, you’re gonna think this is crazy, but I was… actually on my way to go see Pinkie.”

“Really? And, how exactly did that lead to you turning into a living missile and destroying my room, my blood pressure, and my afternoon all in one fell swoop?”

“I-I was getting to that! See, I was down at Sugarcube Corner getting a milkshake, when Pinkie decided to throw an ‘emergency super extra surprise party’ for the Cakes.”

“An… emergency super extra surprise party?”

“Her words, not mine. But then, she ran out of streamers, and you know how she gets about her streamers. So, she had me go get some and head back as fast as I could, but then a bird came out of nowhere and smacked me in the face!”

“And that’s when you lost control and crashed through my room?”

“Yeah! And I’m so, SO sorry. It’ll never happen again, I swear!”

“Mmhmm… And where are these all-important streamers?”

“I… must have dropped them before I crashed. That bird really threw me for a loop. You should have seen it!”

“Well, if that’s the case, I can forgive a genuine accident.”

“R-Really? You’re not mad anymore?”

“Yes. I am.”

“Oh…”

“I’m still annoyed that my room got messed up, but if it wasn't your fault, there’s not much sense in me getting mad at you. Ridiculous stuff happens around here all of the time. Frankly, I’m surprised this library lasted this long with you and Pinkie in town.”

“Phew…”

“That is, if it wasn't your fault. You wouldn’t lie to my face to save your own feathers, would you, Rainbow?”

“Why do you keep talking about my feathers like that…?”

“If you’re telling the truth, your feathers are fine. We’re friends, after all. We’ve been through so much together. You’d never betray my trust like that, right?”

“R-Right… of course not! I-I mean, I’m loyalty per… personificated!”

“Personified.”

“Yeah, that! I’d never lie to you, and it’s definitely not just because of how spectacularly scared of you I currently am!”

“Hiyah, Spike!”

“Oh. Hey, Pinkie.”

“Wha’cha digging through the pantry for?”

“Just looking for a broom! You know how tidy Twilight likes to keep things.”

“You mean like that broom right in front of you?”

“Uh… y-yeah. Like that one, heh heh. Silly me. A-Anyway, what are you doing here, Pinkie?”

“Well, I had nothing else to do today, so I figured I’d come and check on some of my bestest friends in the whole wide world!”

“She, uh… s-she’s probably already done with the party! Man, that was fast! Heh… heh heh.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say i had nothing to do. I could always throw a surprise party for somepony, but I figured that I haven’t popped in on you guys in a while, so here I am!”

“You sure do like to pop in at the weirdest times.”

“And most convenient, one might say… Wouldn’t you agree, Rainbow?”

“If I agree, do I get to keep my feathers?”

”Ooo! By the way, did you see Dashie outside? She was zipping around the tree doing circles so fast that I could barely see her! That was one of her coolest stunts yet!”

“Really? I… didn’t even know she was out there, to be honest.”

“Yeah! She was all like WHOOSH! And ZOOM! I’m amazed she didn’t crash into anything! But, then I lost track of her. I guess she must have landed somewhere. I’ll bet she did a really super duper amazing trick when she did!”

“Heh… I’ll bet it was super… and duper.”

“Grrrr…!”

“Now, Twilight… l-let’s be reasonable here!”

“Any last words before I pluck you?”

“Okay… Look, I know you’re really, really, justifiably mad… and I know that it is kinda my fault, but I think I have six words that will change your mind about murdering me.”

“Oh, really? By all means… I would just love to hear them.”

“SPIKE DARED ME TO DO IT! BYE!”

“Hey! There goes Dashie now! Wowie… She is going fast! I’ll bet that’s a new record for her!”

“Uh, Pinkie, is your tail twitching?”

“Hmm, must be my Pinkie Sense. Let’s see what this one m— Uh oh!”

“Uh oh? Why uh oh?!”

“RUN, SPIKE! SHE’S COMING FOR YOUR SCALES!”

“Wh… w-what do you m—”

“SPIIIIIKE!!”

“OH NO! NOT MY SCALES!!”