With Just a Pinch of Anxiety
Besides his grabby hands, Capper had a rather infamous reputation among those who knew him. He stole pretty much everything he found valuable under the sun, but his thieving certainly didn't stop at just material possessions. While he wasn't ready to settle down with a potential spouse just yet, that didn't stop him from doing some harmless flirting here and there with those he found attractive. Of course, that didn't stop others from finding him attractive, either, just based on looks alone.
Rarity was a sort of unique case. Capper did manage to charm her when she and her friends visited Klugetown, but he couldn't see himself falling in love with her. A cat falling in love with a pony would probably land him on a list somewhere, and he had lost count of exactly how many lists he was on. Still, that didn't mean the two of them couldn't be friends, and it was that friendship that drove him to make the journey to Ponyville to visit her. It was only the first time since the Storm King's defeat a few months back, and peace had been restored to Equestria once again. He figured a visit would be good before the next disaster happened, and it would give him a break from the repair and continuation of inner-Equestria trades by airship (most of the onus which, of course, had fallen on him).
As he walked the streets of Ponyville, he saw ponies giving him all sorts of glances, but nothing that would constitute as a weird look. Spike was bipedal, so maybe that was why? But he was much taller. And he was, well, a cat. Surely that should raise some eyebrows, but instead he found ponies to be amiable towards him, greeting him with hellos and waves. Suddenly, he began to wonder if Rarity had told the town about him and his exploits during the Storm King's invasion. It would certainly explain why no one was freaking out or acting dodgy.
He took this opportunity to ask a passing mare where Rarity's place of residence was, and soon found himself approaching what looked to be a rather striking shop, one that looked elegant enough to house an equally elegant unicorn. If what said unicorn told him was correct, this was the "Carousel Boutique". It was a unique name that fit the appearance of the place to a T, though he didn't think Rarity was into riding carousels.
Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door twice and waited. A muffled voice inside that was unmistakably Rarity announced that she would be there in a minute, and she held true to her word as the door opened when a minute had passed. Or when Capper thought a minute passed, anyway. He didn't have a watch, and even if he did have one it would be on Klugetown's timezone, so he couldn't tell.
"Oh, goodness! Capper! What a surprise!" Rarity beckoned him forward with her hoof. "Please, do come in."
Capper obliged, marveling at just how fancy the place looked. It certainly was different than his own litter box -- more organized, neat, and a much better view through the window. Or windows, as it were.
"You're more than welcome to make yourself comfortable, dear. Would you like anything to eat or drink?"
"I'll take some water, if you would be so kind as to spare me some." Capper took a bow. "You wouldn't believe how hot it gets in Klugetown, even for bein' a city in the desert."
Giving a nod of recognition, Rarity moved towards the kitchen. "I would be lying if I said I hadn't sweat quite a bit during my visit. But it certainly beats moving about in the desert. Never do I want to experience that again, even on the Princess' orders."
"Aww." Capper took a seat on a nearby couch. "Does that mean you visitin' me is off the table?"
"Now, I never said that. Ponyville has a working airship system now, after all. It's just a matter of finding the time."
"Sounds great."
Just as Capper was about to continue speaking, something shiny flashed in the corner of his eye, and he turned. Standing there, stock-still, was a creature with wide green eyes, a purple collar with a gem affixed to its front, and head fur tied up with a small bow. He couldn't help but stare, his own pupils widening more and more as he gazed into the windows of...
A soul as wondrous as the blue sky above.
Yes, there was no doubt about it. Taking in this animal's looks and appearance, this was a cat for sure. An absolutely illustrious being, with perfectly groomed fur and wearing a gorgeous gem that, if not for his lovesickness, he would have to fight not to steal.
"My goodness..." The words were expelled in a single soft breath as he took off his jacket, slid off of the couch, and got down on four paws to approach the other feline. "I've never seen anyone more beautiful in all my life."
He was expecting this cat to speak the same language as him, but instead she responded with happy meows. There was no language barrier, however, as he could understand the sounds of another cat about as well as if they spoke actual words. It was all the same to him.
"What's your name, sweet thang?"
"Mrow."
"Opalescence, huh? So that's why you got that thing around your neck." He pointed to the gem. "The name's Capper. Nice to meet you."
Opal responded by rubbing her cheek against Capper's own, purring all the while.
"Hey, hey, don't get all cozy on me. We still gotta plan a date."
"Mrooo-oow."
"Rarity? What about her?"
"Mrow-mrow."
Capper's keen hearing caught the sound of hoofsteps, and he quickly shot back up to two paws. "There you are! I was startin' to wonder if you disappeared on me."
"Goodness, no. I simply whipped up a little snack for myself, is all." Rarity landed the glass of water onto the table. "Here you are, darling."
"Thank you." Capper took the glass in his paws and drank a few hearty sips like it was his first time seeing a glass of water in several years. He jabbed a thumb towards Opal. "Who's this gal here?"
In Rarity's moment of fluster, she dropped the small tray of hors d'oeuvres onto the table before she could safely place it down. It took her a moment to quickly compose herself. "Ah- oh! That's Opal. My sweet little kitty. I assume you two have met?"
"Uh-huh. We got a lot in common, y'know? For bein' creatures from two different places."
"Opal isn't from Klugetown, if that's what you're referring to."
"Abyssinia?"
"Mm-mm." Rarity ate one of her...well, if Capper was honest, he had no idea what she was eating. After swallowing, she continued. "I was on a vacation with my sister and parents in one of the northern regions of Equestria. We were staying in a small home within a mountain village, and under the house, I found the cutest little kitten, with her fur in the most unkempt state I had ever seen. My father told me not to interact with her, but I simply couldn't abandon such an adorable creature in the frigid cold." A warm smile spread across her features, and Capper couldn't help but smile as well. "I tried everything I could to make her warm up to me. Even Sweetie Belle -- that's my sister, you see -- she tried her best to make the kitten like her, to no avail."
Capper leaned forward. "So how'd she come to like you?"
"On the last day of our vacation, we were all set to leave when the kitten ran up to us and began meowing incessantly. It was almost like...she didn't want us to go." Rarity wiped her teary eyes with a handkerchief she pulled out of nonexistence. "Oh, the way Sweetie and I begged our mother and father to keep her. Luckily, they were more than agreeable." She gestured to the gem on Opal's collar. "I named her 'Opalescence' because the opal represents creativity and inspiration."
"Checks out." Capper took another sip of water. "I'll say, she's one heck of a good kitty."
Rarity blinked a few times. "Is she? Usually she's so unfriendly with me. It's a...love-hate relationship, so to speak." she explained. "Fluttershy is really the only one she's partial to."
That made sense to Capper. As an idea began forming in his head, he gave a nod. "If I could find a place to stay 'round these parts, could I take Opal out for a..." He gripped the cup in his paws a little harder. "...for a date?"
"Of course, darling. Unfortunately Sweetie is staying with me, so I don't have a spare room for you." At that, a low growl emanated from Opal. Rarity ignored it. "But you can certainly ask Twilight."
"She lives in a castle, right?"
"Mhm. Once we finish up here, I'll be more than happy to take you to her." Rarity turned her head to the side. "Opal? You can come along with."
A sparkle shone in Opal's eyes, one that nearly captivated Capper as the cup began to shake. He hastily drank the rest of the water and set it down, as though he was hypnotized by the other feline's stare. Rarity watched on with a smile, continuing to eat her figs-in-a-blanket.
Securing living arrangements was surprisingly easier than Capper had thought. He couldn't stop a joke about Twilight's castle being like a hotel from slipping past, which the princess took in stride. Apparently a lot of tourist ponies said the same thing back when the castle was first...well..."born" would be the right term, but Capper couldn't wrap his head around the concept of a structure growing from the ground. He did manage to keep his relationship with Opal secret, though, which was a good thing. A small part of his mind tucked away in the back found it weird that a cat on two legs was going out with a cat on four, but his romantic drive overshadowed that.
After checking out his new room, he, Rarity, and Opal bid farewell to Twilight before going on their way to view Ponyville in what was a rather expansive tour. He got to see all sorts of shops and sights and meet all kinds of ponies, and he couldn't deny that it was a lot more interesting than what Klugetown had to offer. Still, his fascination didn't stop him from side-eyeing Opal and blowing kisses to her every once in a while.
"Well." Rarity said, when the trio had arrived back at the Boutique. "Are there any questions you would like me to answer, Capper?"
"Actually, there is one. Where are some good restaurants for ponies to, uh..." Capper paused. "...have dinner together?"
Rarity blinked in surprise. "You aren't extending an invitation to have dinner with me, are you?"
"No! I-I mean...oh, shoot..." Capper sighed. "It's...with Opalescence."
"Oh." If Rarity was hurt by Capper's snubbing, neither her casual tone nor her calm expression gave it away. "Unfortunately, there aren't any restaurants I know of around here that cater to only pets, you see. But I'm sure somepony here can make a dietary exception or two, if you ask."
Capper didn't think ponies ate meat. At least, not the same meat that he and Opal ate. Would an equine waiter really give the two of them a slab of meat if they asked? He supposed it wouldn't hurt. After all, this would be his first date, something that went beyond mere flirting and entered into the territory of making dinner plans. He wanted to pull this off. He had to pull this off.
"All right." He glanced at Opal. "How about it, honey? You wanna dine with this cool cat?"
"Mrow mrow!"
For the next few hours, Capper felt a sense of freedom and excitement he hadn't felt since he was a kitten stealing things from under small noses. To help calm himself down so he didn't look like an utter fool, he took a brisk walk around Ponyville, visiting Rarity's friends and catching up with them.
Of course, word quickly got around the friend group that Capper was in love with Opal. It wasn't exactly a secret, but for their sakes, everyone vowed to keep it amongst themselves and let the two felines enjoy their time together.
The Maple was a sort of casual dining establishment, but as far as Capper was concerned, it was Ponyville's answer to the more upscale restaurant. He couldn't necessarily compare it to Klugetown's restaurants because he was blacklisted from about three-quarters of them for doing dine-and-dashes, but it was good enough for a first date in his eyes.
He picked up Opal just when the moon was beginning to rise, and together the pair did a six-leg walk to the restaurant.
"You know, I've never been to a restaurant before."
Capper stopped. He could see the restaurant in his field of vision, but hearing such a silky voice made him freeze. "Is..." He rushed to Opal's front. "Did you just...talk?"
"Yes." Opal gestured to the black box on her neck. "The purple one Rarity calls 'Twilight Sparkle' made me this voicebox. It is a pity I can't wear my gorgeous collar with it on..." She gazed up at him. "...but I do hope you understand."
Suddenly, Capper's mouth ran completely dry. He wanted to respond with some compliment about his date's new voice, but all that came out was confused stammering.
"Shhh. Don't say anything, my love." Opal cooed. "Let us head to the restaurant to eat."
Even as Opal moved away, Capper still stood there in shock. It felt like hours before he snapped out of his stupor and began racing after the love of his life, but the thoughts still persisted.
Her voice is incredible.
Who told Twilight about us?
Her fur is glimmering in the moonlight. She's one heck of a pretty kitty.
...Did she just say "my love"?
Once they were seated and received menus, Capper cleared his throat. "So, uh...you said you've never been to a restaurant before, huh?" He gave a chuckle that sounded more nervous than anything actually genuine. "Figures. Where I live, cats and other animals go in and out of restaurants all the time."
"Do they now?" Opal said. "Rarity has told me quite a lot about the town you come from. You have..." She licked her chops. "...fish?"
"W-well, yeah. But they're not for eatin'."
"It matters not. So long as they're delicious." Opal tilted her head. "How do you resist eating them?"
Capper chuckled. "Harder than you'd think. Might sound a little unbelievable, but even a smooth-talker like me has standards, y'know? Good thing Klugetown welcomed me back with open arms after the whole Storm King incident. Probably wouldn't have happened if I committed murder."
Opal paused for a minute to look over her menu, then set it down and pushed it off the table, as was her wont. "Standards." she repeated plainly.
"Mind you, I didn't have those back then. But Twilight, Rarity, and the others helped me...ugh, what's a phrase that won't sound so darn cheesy..."
"See the light?"
"Yeah, yeah. Sounds a lot better comin' from you."
"Thank you."
As Capper opened his mouth to speak, a well-dressed stallion made his way into his peripheral vision, approaching their table with a notepad and pen in illustrious light-blue magic. "My name is Blue Plate. I will be your server tonight. May I get you two, ah...started with some drinks?"
"Actually, I am ready to order." Opal glanced at Capper. "What about you, my love?"
Hastily, Capper opened his menu and scanned it as fast as his eyes would move. "Uh, I-I'll...have..." He squinted. "Huh. Do you have anything with meat? 'Cause I'm not seein' anything."
Blue Plate craned his head to look at the front of the menu. "Oh! Goodness, my apologies. This is the herbivore menu, if you will. For our equine customers, and anyone else whose main diet lacks meat." His magic latched onto the menu in Capper's paws and pulled it out. "I'll go get the carnivore menu. Be right back."
As he moved away, Capper's gaze slowly moved to Opal. "Did..." His toes gripped the tablecloth. "Did you see how that pony looked at us just now?"
"He looked quite all right to me."
"Am I trippin', or was he totally cool with two kitty cats sittin' at his table?"
Opal sighed. "Capper, darling, there are lots of unusual things that happen in this town. Two cats doing some fine dining is quite low on that list." Her eyes closed halfway. "Ever since the purple one opened up that 'Friendship School' or...whatever it's called...there have been certain creatures who come here, creatures besides ponies. This, of course, means that if they so wish to dine at a restaurant, food must be created to suit their dietary needs."
As much of a learning moment as this was for Capper, he couldn't help but let himself be swayed by his date's eloquence. She just had such a way with words that held his attention. It was quite clear where she got it, too, which briefly made him think about if Rarity was as much of a charmer as he was.
"...in here." Opal stopped. "Darling? Are you listening?"
"Huh?" Capper began to rapidly blink. "Oh, uh...I- yeah. Yeah, I was, don't worry."
The expression on Opal's face made her disbelief clear. "If you are going to be distracted while I teach you a lesson, then perhaps I shall leave."
"No! I-I mean, I'm sorry." Capper cried out. "I just...got a lot to learn about Ponyville, that's all. Klugetown, they seat two kitties at a table and no one even looks." He dipped his paws downwards, put them together, and began moving them up and down. "Please stay. I'm havin' a great time. And I could use all the knowledge about Ponyville I can get if I'm gonna be stayin' here a while, y'know?"
"What...are you doing?"
Capper glanced at his still-moving paws. "Drat." It took him a few moments to get his paws to actually stop moving, but once he did, he placed them on the table. "Sorry. Instinct."
"Instinct?" Opal let out a huff of air. "I've certainly never done that. It looks like the movements of a pathetic kitten."
It was then that reality sunk in for Capper. Sure, this relationship was a "love at first sight" deal. That was fine. He knew of the concept, but never really experienced it for himself. Now, though, he was starting to realize the cons of falling in love with someone the moment you laid eyes on them. In this particular case, Opal was starting to show her...well, he didn't want to call it "true colors", because Rarity had mentioned she was unfriendly to her but warmed up to Fluttershy enough, so she wasn't mean all the time. But all he needed to do was get things back on track. He didn't want to lose Opal. If Fluttershy could touch her heart, then why couldn't he?
"Apologies for the wait." Blue Plate returned with two menus in magic, setting them on the table. "Here are your menus. Are you all set in regards to drinks, or would you like some time to look at our offerings?"
"No need to look. I will have some water, darling."
"Water for me too. With ice."
Blue Plate nodded. "Those will be right out for you."
Capper didn't even wait until the stallion was out of earshot before he began his explanation. "Opal, I'm real sorry. The whole paw thing...it's somethin' I've outgrown for the most part, but it comes back here and there."
Opal stared at him for a moment, with an emotion he couldn't place. Then she sighed. "Just make sure to keep it under control, hm?"
Capper gave a single nod, and opened up his menu. By the time Blue Plate returned with his drink, he was only halfway through reading the options and barely missed the stallion asking him what he wanted to eat.
"Uh...can I have the..." He blinked. "...fried haddock?"
"Ah, excellent choice." Blue Plate's eyes moved to Opal. "And for you, miss?"
"I shall have fried haddock as well. Not too crispy."
Blue Plate collected the menus. "I will return with your dishes in a moment."
Capper's nose slightly wrinkled in confusion as he stared at Opal. "You've...had fried haddock before?"
"Yes. You have not?"
"I...no. I know what haddock is, but...fried? Now who in their right mind would take their fish fried?" Capper hesitated for a moment as he realized what he just said, then held up his paws. "Besides you, of course."
"I can tell you are quite nervous about dining with me." Opal said. "You have no reason to be, my love. Simply relax and enjoy the food. If you would like, we can keep the talking to a minimum, just for tonight."
Taking a deep breath, Capper nodded. "Right, right. Thank you."
For the rest of the night, the couple conversed about all sorts of topics, from their likes and dislikes to what the culinary scene was like in both Ponyville and Klugetown. The more Capper spoke, the more confident he could feel himself becoming, especially as it looked like his date was becoming more and more attracted to him.
But as he could personally attest to, there were only downsides to toying with fate, especially when fate came in the form of a clumsy butter-toed cat, an angry tantrum-throwing cat, and a destroyed technological invention.
As the sunlight blasted through his window, Capper groaned and turned in bed so it wouldn't hit his eyes. It did feel warm on his back, but he was too tired to revel in the feeling of one of the best things known to felinekind right now. He was still tired from last night, and wanted more sleep.
Three knocks felt like three whacks against his skull. "Capper?" came a familiar voice. "Are you getting up?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm gettin', I'm gettin'." Capper rolled out of bed with a heavy sigh. "Breakfast ready?"
"Yup. It's on the table. Spike and I are going out to the Ponyville Farmers' Market to get some groceries, if you need us."
Capper didn't even have the energy to ask what a farmers' market was, nor ask why Ponyville had one. Still, he knew he couldn't stay in bed all day, no matter how much he wanted to. He glanced at the elongated mirror that sat by the other window and gently patted his hair, noticing it was incredibly messy.
Great. Now I gotta go all the way to the bathroom to get a comb.
As he began to make the trek, he allowed himself to reflect on what had happened.
Last night was crazy. I messed up dinner with Opal 'cuz I was too nervous. I killed any attraction between us...all 'cuz I was just too nervous. Spilled my drink on her and everythin'.
Ugh, I'm never like this when I'm flirtin'. I've met nastier kitties back in Klugetown who were just as gorgeous. So why was I all 'cat on a hot tin roof' with Opal? What makes her so different?
Eh, not every kitty's suited to settle down with a lover, anyway. Some like to go it alone. I didn't get far in my thievin' days by havin' a lady friend at my side, after all.
But Opal...I thought I had a chance with her. We were warmin' up to each other, for real. And then I had to go and ruin it.
A sharp pain brought Capper out of his thoughts. He was close to the bathroom, but his fist was radiating with fierce pain, causing him to wince as something shiny on the ground caught his eye.
Oh. Just me punchin' the wall. Nothin' too serious.
Treating his injured hand and fixing up his hair, he suddenly got an idea, one that improved his mood tenfold.
Rarity's Opal's owner, yeah? Maybe she could help me out. Wouldn't hurt to ask. I bet she knows somethin' about Opal that I don't.
"Oh...um, Capper, darling, I'm afraid I have some rather unfortunate news for you."
"Unfortunate news? About Opal?"
"Yes. You see, she's...um...she's asked me to retrieve a restraining order against you."
"What's a restrainin' order?"
Rarity uncomfortably shifted on the couch she was sitting on for a few moments. "When somepony gets a restraining order against another pony...or creature, whatever the case may be..." She set her tea down on the table. "...it means you are not allowed to be within a certain length of that creature."
"Hold up. That's a thing?"
"In Ponyville, yes. And in other cities across Equestria as well." Rarity explained. "Pets cannot obtain restraining orders, which is why Opal came to me and requested I file one on her behalf."
Capper opened his mouth to speak.
"Darling, please, don't worry. I have absolutely no intention of going through with her silly request. You're a dear friend of mine. There is no reason why I should obtain a restraining order against you." A small smile formed on Rarity's features, and Capper couldn't help but return it in kind. "What happened last night was certainly not your fault. Opal is rather...manipulative, as it were. Intimidating to some, even."
Reaching for his own cup of tea, Capper took a sip and nodded. Opal being intimidating certainly made sense. As for whether she was manipulative, he wasn't inclined to think so. She had a short fuse, but she wasn't exactly manipulative. And he knew manipulation when he saw it.
"Mrooooooow."
"Oh my, look who's arrived!" Rarity patted the couch. "Come, Opal. Don't you want to see Capper?"
That got an angry spittle-laced hiss. Rarity's expression twisted into anger as she shot off of the couch and strode over to Opal. "I'll have you know that I am the one who owns the Boutique, keeps it running, and pays the bills. As such, I have a right to invite creatures in or make them leave as I please."
"Mrow?"
"Stop it, before I give Twilight back her precious voicebox!"
"Mrow-mrow!!"
"I don't care!"
Capper tuned out the rest of the fight and chugged the rest of his tea. He glanced outside with a frown on his face.
Guess there's no point in stayin' here. Visitin' Rarity would just be too dang awkward with Opal hangin' around. And it's not like I can avoid her. Gotta get back to Klugetown and help with repairs, anyway.
His vision suddenly became filled with tears that fell when he blinked. Biting back a growl, he set his cup down and stood up, whipping his head towards the fighting mare and her feisty kitty.
"HEY!!" he bellowed. When the shouting died down, he adjusted his coat and cleared his throat. "I should get goin'. Klugetown isn't gonna repair itself, y'know? 'Specially since I'm doin' a lot of heavy liftin'." A sad chuckle slipped out. He wiped his eyes clean. "Rarity, okay if I visit you another time? And for more than a day?"
"Of course, darling. You will always be welcome at the Carousel Boutique. On behalf of Opal, I would like to apo-"
"Save it." Capper said, holding up a paw. "It's not your fault, or Opal's. Bein' with Opal's actually put my future in romance in a whole new light." His gaze moved to the cat in question. "Opal, again, I'm real sorry. I didn't mean for the date to-"
Opal sharply turned away with a humph, lashing her tail about.
Capper gave a resigned sigh. "When you see Twilight again, give her my thanks for settin' me up with a bed, will you?" He began heading for the door. "See y'all soon."
The stone-cold silence of Opal, as well as the soft and sad goodbye of Rarity, fell on deaf ears as he stepped out of the Boutique.
As much as Capper knew the Klugetown airship arrival and departure schedules like the back of his paw, he was lost when it came to Ponyville's. It took more inquiring from passing mares and stallions as to what time the latest airship was set to depart, but more than that, it took a lot of running just to make it to the airship before it took off.
After keeling over and catching his breath, Capper had a look around. Only free-roaming ponies occupied the craft, which wasn't all too surprising. At the very least, the frequent stops to various cities would give him ample time to think about his disastrously short-lived relationship with Opal.
Ha. Like I could even call it that. Man, we didn't even kiss or anythin'; all we did was have one date together. Doesn't mean we had a relationship.
Then again...the more I think about it, the more it probably wouldn't have been all that practical to have a relationship. I mean, Opal lives in Ponyville and I live waaaay outside of Equestria in Klugetown. Klugetown's mail system isn't even perfected yet, so how could we even communicate? With the repairs keepin' me busy, I'm not gonna have a whole lot of time to visit her.
Maybe I'm just not ready to settle down with someone yet. I'm one heck of a charmer, but there's a difference between charmin' a lady and fallin' in love with her.
He glanced at the world below him, at all the creatures who were probably in love with each other. Some might have even been a "love at first sight" kind of deal, and as the thought circled in his mind, a pang of jealousy shot through his body. Why could they make it work and he couldn't? What did they have that he didn't?
...Hold up. It was only one bad date. No reason why my next date with another pretty kitty has to be just as bad. All I gotta do is find someone that doesn't intimidate me so darn much, someone that doesn't make me so nervous I shiver in my fur. There's gotta be plenty of girls like that around.
He pulled away from the railing and sat down, thinking about all the feline Klugetowners he met at bars and gatherings and finding that the number was, unsurprisingly, very slim. Cats weren't all too common in Klugetown. In fact, the number of cats Capper knew of in Klugetown he could count on one paw. And he wasn't all too keen on hooking up with a fish or a lizard -- flirting with them, sure, but dating animals that were meant to be prey to his species was just too weird of a concept for him to process.
Guess that's that, huh? Wonder if this airship's gonna stop in Abyssinia. Or Panthera.
...Tigeria?
Eh, doesn't matter. Gotta finish up repairs in Klugetown first. I don't think any of the townsfolk are gonna like it if I just drop everythin' and go back to my hometown.
Thinkin' back on all this, though, there is one lesson I've learned.
As much as he tried to smirk, it simply turned into a frown instead. He clutched his chest as his heart began to ache.
"Love at first sight" sure as heck isn't real.
Author's Note
It might shock you (or not shock you) to know that, throughout the years that I've been writing fanfiction, I've never dipped my toes into the romance genre. (This story was made before You Can Lead a Horsegirl to Water, for the record.)
Et voila. Hey, it's good practice for if I ever make another romance story again. 
For a better romance story of mine, check out You Can Lead a Horsegirl to Water...
Likewise, you might be keen on checking out my entry to the 2023 May Pairings Contest.
