Hold Me Tight, Leave A Whisper
Roseluck stood in front of the mirror. Her mane was styled differently today, her mane puffed to the right, while her mane draped behind her ear. She had held a rose in her hooves, posing in front of the mirror with a slight smile on her muzzle. She sniffed into the flower, taking in its scent, but her heart twinged, and her lips twitched, the left side being tugged downward.
She wondered if she looked good.
Her green apple eyes twinkled in response.
Roseluck took a deep breath and shakily sat the rose in front of her on the vanity, just to the side in its own vase, where water nursed it happily. She looked back up into her reflection momentarily but her muzzle scrunched up, making her snap back to her hooves. It was not what she needed to see. She didn’t need her doubt right now. She needed to see somepony she cared the most about at the moment, and for some reason, it was not her.
Turning away from the vanity, she walked toward her bedroom door and opened it—
Suddenly the rooms in her house blurred on by as she exited each one, and long before she realized it, her body carried her to her front door. There, she opened it, and realized it was well into the night. The moon was high in the sky, beaming happily right at Roseluck’s slack-jawed appearance.
Had she lost track of time? No one was out and about. Most candles were blown out, lights were turned off, and fireplaces were set to smoldering remains of burnt ash. It was uncharacteristic, not everyone fell asleep this fast… right? Was it really this late? Her mind was already messing with her, if her sudden whirlwind through the house was anything to go by. Someone had to be out now! She wasn’t too late! No, she wasn’t!
She walked out into the night, making sure to shut the door with her hindleg and locking it tight. Then, she ventured forth, passing by several homes and businesses that dotted Ponyville’s townscape. Roseluck passed by the Sugarcube Corner, a lively bakery now shuttered and dormant with a ‘come back tomorrow 😩’ sign hung on its doorstep. She paused, her hoof scattering the dirt around her, staring into what she assumed was a blind that was left open, but she blinked, and the one she thought was there was now closed.
Shaking her head, Roseluck continued her walk. Each house, each shop, each everything was dark. Not one creature was up.
But there was one. Even if she was late—she was going to see him.
He wasn’t a pony. He was a human named Anon, and he lived in a small hut towards the edge of town. She knew he was up, and as she trotted up to his place, the little hut’s window displayed proudly an orange glow, an all-to-familiar candle he had always set as a way to welcome anyone who stopped by.
It was Anon’s place. A fixer upper that no one laid a hoof on. It had dilapidated walls, a rickety old door that needed a bit too much TLC to keep around, and even worse floorboards that Roseluck knew all too well. From what she remembered, she would have fallen into the non-existent basement, her hooves only hitting the solid dirt below. She remembered his laugh had echoed rather loudly in the living room, and she had sneered at him as she brought her hoof back inside.
She also remembered the time when she had her first date with him. It was… complicated. They actually had it mostly at his place. Not because she was surely late (like now), but because the waitress who waited on them at a restaurant was flirting way too aggressively with Anon. It was her date, her love. Not theirs, and clearly they were jealous, so they tried to sweep in an attempt to ruin their night. And instead of her telling the mare off, Roseluck remembered how Anon told that mare he wasn’t interested:
“I’m only interested in her, not you. I’m sorry you can’t see that.”
Any mare in her position would’ve swooned on the spot. And whew… a blush seared onto her cheeks as she knocked on the door. She needed to feel that way again. Even if she didn’t deserve it. Especially for what she felt like she did.
Knock.
Knock.
…
She stepped back.
…
She tilted her head toward the window again. Sure enough, the candle still glowed orange.
Knock!
Knock!
She stepped back again, nursing her hoof with her other one. Those ones were a bit too hard on the hooves, as a searing ache raced down that foreleg of hers. She winced and looked away from the door. He must have been asleep. This was totally a bad idea—
“Now who is knocking at my door this late at—”
The door swung open.
Roseluck’s eyes widened. Anon stood in front of her, only wearing his… pants…
“—night…” He paused, holding onto the doorknob on his end with his one hand, while the other held onto the frame. He looked down at what she was seeing and gulped. “Uhh… hey, Rose.”
She mirrored his expression, nearly sputtering on her own saliva. “Hi, A-Anon.”
Her legs started to shake and her mind started to quake. What was she thinking? Coming out in the middle of the night to visit him? All because she didn’t realize she was too late to meet with him like she was supposed to? What was this little ploy? A way to make amends?
She could hear Daisy telling her off: “You could’ve waited until tomorrow!”
“Yeah, what she said.” Lily would just say to irritate her more. “You could then apologize, make it up to him, and not feel awful about it! Trust me, he wouldn’t have minded! All you had to do was wait and—”
She didn’t want to wait. She needed to tell him. She needed to be selfish for once in her life in the most apologetic way.
She gulped down those little flaws of hers and mentally stomped her hoof down on them.
“If it’s about the date, I know you get busy sometimes so it’s totally understandable—”
“Can we… talk inside?”
She looked at his face, how it tilted just a bit to the side. He was so…
“Sure,” he said, rubbing his eye with one of his hands. He stepped aside and beckoned her in with the same hand, giving her a tired smile. “Welcome to my humble abode.”
“Thank you,” she said, hoping that she didn’t stutter as she crossed the threshold.
Anon shut the door behind them and locked it, leaving them in the foyer of his house. He kept that worn smile on and walked back into his living room, which was just a couch next to a fireplace. Beside it was a small table that housed a book bent face down, its bind pointing upward, while another sat across the room with that candle burning bright, and a chair to its right. He snatched the book in his hands and walked toward that chair. He took a seat, falling into what looked like a pretty plush chair, and held the book with care, flicking back to the page he was reading.
Before he started to read, he peeked over at Roseluck and chuckled. “Come on, Rose. Don’t be a stranger. Make yourself at home!”
“A-Are you sure?”
He grinned at her. “Of course! You can take the couch, I know you hate having to sit upright.”
When he pointed to it, Roseluck realized Anon was actually talking to her and not some cheap imitation of her in plush form.
She scampered over to the couch, her body practically lurching at it like the floor was lava, and she had only one jump to make it. She plopped onto it rather unceremoniously, nearly bouncing off it. One of the pillows bounced with her, while the other was pinned by her hindleg. She sheepishly smiled over at Anon as she slowly laid down. Even though the majority of his face was covered by his book, Anon’s eyes bore into her, not with a brutal stare, but one that she hoped was filled with concern, as those beady ones shone in the candlelight.
She probably flopped too hard onto the couch and he was considering how she would reprimand her—wait, he wasn’t her father! Egh.
She was extremely nervous. Super nervous. Super-de-duper-de-duper nervous (as Pinkie Pie would coin it). Her hooves were numb. Her body was numb. Her mind was racing. Heck, Roseluck was so numb, her body was barely treading by. And she was having trouble remembering what she had for breakfast this morning.
She took a shaky breath again and closed her eyes. Focus.
Unfortunately (and somewhat fortunately), her mind had other ideas:
“I’m sorry I came over here so late at night, Anon! I’m also sorry that I missed our little get-together that we try to do every week nowadays, and I’m sorry that I left you alone at the restaurant that you took so long to schedule and—eep!”
Intstaneous. It felt just like that. Anon, who somehow, with a gift Roseluck believed was blessed onto him by the princesses, had pressed his finger against her muzzle, effectively derailing her train of thought. Then, with no hesitation, he bent lower to look right into her eyes. The book that he had in his hands had been set aside on a table she did not see earlier, although the spine was not bent—he did not keep his place. He was now on his knees as she thought of his actions, but that goofy smile of his formed into a smirk.
“Gotcha.”
???
He laughed. It made her heart flutter. “Gotta stop you from turning into an apologetic Canadian. They’ll keep apologizing until there’s nothing left to apologize about.”
Her ears flicked up, while she blinked rather quickly.
“Oh, right. There’s no such thing as Canada here, right?” He took his finger off her muzzle. “Now you want to tell me why you’re apologizing so much?”
“I can but—”
“No buts. Just slow, methodical word choice.”
She twiddled with her forehooves and spared a glance whenever she decided her face wasn’t akin to a thousand suns. “I… I was thinking… I was thinking about myself. About you. About us. It’s great, isn’t it? The bond we have is so… different and warm. I love how when you’re with me, things just feel right.” She scrunched her muzzle and then took a deep breath. “And when it’s that warm, I just think how wonderful it is. How you are. How we are.”
She paused and licked her lips. “And then I start thinking about how different we are, but how alike we are. And then I go to bed, wake up the next day, and I’ll just be normal like everypony else, but I’ll be working… and then I’ll think about myself, then about you, and then about us, and my normal day of selling flowers and getting the next batch grown will be put into a tailspin all because I’m thinking of you as much as I’m thinking of us.”
She could see Anon’s face, but nothing was really readable, and her heart started to race.
“And then I wonder why I’m like that. Why I’m like this. I’m never thinking about myself. And then when I do, I look into the mirror, and all the flaws start to show. My mane looks off. My fur isn’t brushed enough. My ear is twitching and my face is hot and why are you rubbing my neck—”
Roseluck whinnied as she felt Anon’s hand cup her cheek. His hand was smooth, smooth enough to not bother her as his hand climbed to her mane.
Then, he patted her head, and subsequently frazzled her mane.
“H-Hey, Anon! I worked hard on that!”
“I know,” he whispered. “I know and that’s okay if I do it, right?”
His eyes twinkled in the light. She scrunched her muzzle and glared at him.
“All that time spent on my mane just for you to—”
“Show you how much I care?”
She snorted. “That’s how you show you care?”
He nodded and went back to petting her mane (what was left of her styled one). “Of course. You were talking about how stressed you were about everything. I just wanted to change that by showing you that I like your mane no matter what you do to it.”
“So I should just not do anything to it?”
He rolled his eyes. “No, that’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?” Roseluck asked, her mind rushing forward with all these thoughts of hers. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I don’t want to feel so stressed when everyone is looking at us. And I don’t want to feel so hyper focused on you, so much that it hurts me. I… I feel like everything around me is so right yet so wrong.”
He brought her into his arms and she nuzzled into his chest. “You need to tell me when you’re feeling this way, silly pony.”
“I’m not silly.”
“Yes you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
He laughed. “You totally are.” He said this as he was petting her mane again, his fingers lacing through each strand. “And that’s okay. I’d rather you be silly and come over in the middle of the night to knock on my door just to tell me than to not and bundle all these feelings you have inside yourself.” He shook me lightly as he continued, “I mean look at you! You’re a small pony. I don’t think all those feelings are going to stay comfortably in that body of yours and—”
“Stop treating me like a foal and—AAaannonn!! Stop i-i-it!”
Suddenly, his fingers danced on her belly, tickling her fur. She squirmed, trying to get him away from her, but she couldn’t. He had his hands all over her, and she was propped right into his lap, making her helpless to his onslaught. She kept giggling and cackling as she writhed in his grasp. “A-Anon, s-stop!”
“No can do. Not until you admit you’re being silly in the right way.”
“I-In the right w-way?” Roseluck asked in-between bouts of laughter. He responded with more tickling, which made her plea for her life. “O-Okay, okay, I surrender!”
Anon smiled and slowly brought his hands close to himself again. “There. Are you going to—”
She pursed her lips and glared at him. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
She mumbled softly toward his ear.
“Come on. If you’re going to say it, say with your chest, Roseluck.”
She groaned. “I’m sorry for acting so silly! Okay, are you happy?”
He smirked. “Possibly.”
“Possibly?!”
“It’s hard to really gauge this when you’re being so adorable.”
Roseluck threw her hooves into the air. “I’m not adorable!”
“You totally are—” He stopped to boop her in the muzzle. “See? Your eyes went cross-eyed just now!”
Her head was spinning. Which way was up? “Eughh?”
“Wow, did I just hit the reset button?”
“I… don’t know.” Roseluck muttered, trying to figure out which Anon was actually Anon. “One minute, I’m mad at myself and you, and the next, I’m seeing two of you!” She winced as she grabbed her head. “Egh, don’t do that again!”
“Noted,” Anon said with a smirk. That dumb, alluring smirk.
It was so alluring that she didn’t even notice he was even closer now, falling right into her form. She scooted over and cuddled into him.
His free arm looped around her, while the one that worked with her head petted her mane softly. She cooed as she nuzzled into his neck.
“This work?”
Roseluck nodded. “This more than works.”
“Good.” He tiredly whispered into her ear. She could feel both of hers fall against her head as his hand grazed one of them. “I love you, Rose.”
“Even if I’m like this?”
“Sure. Granted, I’m a bit concerned, but we can address that in due time.”
She shuffled against his body. “I… I guess that works with me.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll work on the obsessive bit of you. It’s endearing you care about me that much, but it also hurts me that you’re hurting yourself with all that stress.” He nuzzled her cheek as he continued, “But we’ll talk about that tomorrow. I’m about to pass out from exhaustion.”
“You have work tomorrow?” Roseluck asked, returning his nuzzle with one of her own.
“No, thankfully.”
“Mmhm. More time for us.”
“Yep,” he whispered. “And don’t get too comfortable.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’re paying for tomorrow’s brunch.”
She felt her muzzle scrunch up, but she knew that was expected. “Okay…”
She looked up at him, seeing a weak smile on his face. He frazzled her mane further. “Good. See you tomorrow, my silly cute pony.”
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and kissed him square on the lips. “Good night, Anon.”
Her world grew dark as she was ensnared in Anon’s embrace.
Author's Note
The May grind begins.
Stay tuned. I am sorry that Fallout: NV has had me by the balls. Hope you all enjoyed this one!
