Shots Fired at the Apple Abode

by Chrome Masquerade

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Anthro, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Equestria Girls
Length: 1587

When a comp[laint is raised at a restaurant on the Human side of the portal, Applejack steps up to defend her country's honour.

Having established a connection to the Human world via the Mirror Portal, some time ago, Ponies had bneen going back and forth ooccasionally, maaking new friends,. networking with those on the opther side.

Hearing about there being fans of Southern coooking, Applejack decides that maybe she should throw her hat into the ring on it. She calls o som,e of her extended family to help as well.

Thus is the Apple Alliance Abode born. Ane for a tiume everything goes fine for a while.

"I demand to speak to the manager!"

Until the inevitable occurs...

Published 2024-05-16 20:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-16 20:30:00 UTC

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

Back in another timeline, when Sunset Shimmer had crossed over to the Human side of the portal, magic caused a lot of things to happen, but the portal was kept a closely guarded secret. No further connections were made if it could be helped.

This... is not that timeline.

Though it wasn't wholly out in the open, Ponies began coming back and forth. After Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer worked to stabilize the portal, it had been bumped down from "Top Secret, known to those who need to know" to "New opportunity that few know of".

Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Applejack had all been over there. Rarity was considering making an entrance, but her counterpart would have disagreed strongly. Rainbow Dash was still busy leading the Wonderbolts, as she'd been promoted recently, and Fluttershy.... well, she had her own priorities too.

Applejack had been showed a lot of what was to be seen on that side of the portal by Sunset Shimmer abd her own counterpart. And when it cme up to lunch time, they stopped at a Southern restaurant.

It took a bit of explaining to get her to try some of the more.... protien rich fare, if you catch my drift. When lunch was done with, though, she had made a decision.

"Ah think Ah'mma gonna open up a restaurant like this'un."

The other Applejack looked approving, but Sunset wasn't so sure. "Really, Applejack? Are you sure that's a good idea? You'd have some SERIOUS competition, for one..."

Applejack smirked. "Y'all're fergettin' somethin' I can easily get LOTS of helpin' hooves."

And so she did. She called on her extended family. Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Braeburn, Red Gala, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Apple Honey, Apple Brown Betty... among many others. They came at their cousin's request, being told of the new opportunity for the whole family. However, a snag was hit when they tried to go through the portal.

"Whoa! What in the-"

Apple Fritter had been the first to go through, and was quite surprised to find that her transition to being human wasn't.... quite a complete one.

Yep. Theere was enough Equestrian magic in that realm that most of those crossing the portal weren't able to go full human. As it stood, that would never work out.

It took a bit of thinking by Princess Twilight, but she came up with some rings that should allow them to stay in a human form, but still give them access to their abilities and skills on that side.

Sunset had to explain zoning permits and regulations, etcetera. It took a few weeks after that for all of the paperwork to go through, but it worked out soon enough, no finagling necessary. In short order, a location was picked somewhat outside of the city and construction began. With their combined prowess and some spare materials from home (brought in secretly), the new restaurant was built. A few days after that, the work was completed in record time, one that would make most contractors fear for their jobs.

Getting the kitchenware was a tad bit more difficult. Ovens, sinks, stoves, utensils, cutlery, refrigerators, freezers, racks; all had to be bought relatively new. Bringing over some gems solved the monetary trouble, but the stuff had to be brought to the near complete building.

Furniture was fortunately easier. Most of the Apple clan knew some woodworking, and some even knew how to work metal. Soon there were sturdy applewood tables and chairs. A little faux-leather and some foam added for comfort's sake and the seats were good to go as well.

Added under the location were spaces for the staff to sleep and a cellar for the top-quality cider (among other drinks) that would be kept cool therein. Produce was obviously home-grown and brought from that side, when it could be helped.

Outfits were selected, teams were formed for service, cooking, cleaning, entertainment and more. Advertisements were sent out. All was ready.

They just needed a title. Apple Dapple had been thinking of one for a while.

"How about the Apple Alliance Abode?"

And the rest was easy.

A few days after, the place was opened up, receiving a few customers, but nothing to write home about yet. But a few weeks after that? Things were definitely picking up!

A stage was set up for entertainment purposes, Ponies such as Fiddlesticks and her band would play music for those who wanted to dance to the tunes. Everything was going great! But one day....

"I demand to speak to the manager." a posh voice rang out.

Applejack (behind the bar that was more recently set up) rolled her eyes. The voice's owner was unmistakeable, no matter which side of the portal you were on. She vaulted the barrier and strode up to the complainer. "Miss Rich, Ah presume?"

"My reputation precedes me, I see. Good; that'll make this much easier. I noticed a few,,, irregularities here and there."

"Do tell." Applejack encouraged curtly.

"For one, you hardly serve any meat; no beef, no pork, no venison..."

"It's part of what makes this establishment unique, ma'am. We believe that ya can have down-home style cookin' without havin' ta pile on the satu-rated fat. And we do serve fish, even a bit o' chicken. So Ah believe that counts."

"Fair enough, but what's this about the milk and cheese?"

"Well, like alluv' our pro-duce, our cows are from home; we make everythin' there. Our animals are happy ones. 'S also part of why we don't serve beef, pork or venison. More oft'n than not they do better when ya treat 'em right. Even better if'n ya chat with 'em a while."

"Don't you mean talk to them?"

"Nope. In fact, some of our cows are sparklin' con-ver-sationalists."

"And these prices, for food that's less filling?"

"Yeah, but that price allows our customers ta get seconds and thirds if'n ya want 'em. Nobody leaves hungry."

"And the staff? Clearly a sign of nepotism."

Applejack took a deep breath before replying. "What are ya tryin' ta say, miss Rich?"

"I just want to know the truth; why? Why is all of this the way it is?"

Snorting, Applejack turned around, put two fingers to her mouth and whistled five notes. Immediately, everything stopped. All of them knew what that signal meant.

Everything got turned off or down for this.

The whole family assembled.

"Right, all; we've been asked fer the honest truth. Time ta show 'em."

Applejack took her ring off, revealing her anthro-form. One by one, the rest of the family did the same.

"Ya wanted the truth, here it is; We're all from over in Equestria. We wanted ta share a bit o' what we have back home with the people here. Our worlds're linked, one way or 'nother. Gittin' closer every day, seems like. Ah saw that there were e-stablishments like this and de-cided that our family restaurant would be made for families, by our family. An' Ah dare say we do a right fine job of it too."

There were several nods from gathered customers, even a few exclamations of "Yeah!".

"In fact..."

Applejack did a couple of backflips and hopped onto the stage. Grabbing the microphone, she began to sing, music swelling in the background(1).

You're welcome at the Triple A

We're the best 'o the best,
Passed ev'ry test.
Got the best cooks,
North, South, East or West.
Got sweets 'n eats,
Just can't be beat.
Down home cookin'
No fatty meats.

Got our knuckles cracked
Makin' stacks 'o 'jacks.
In this place,
There'll be no slack.
We got square dancin'
Got 'em all prancin'.
Can you take us on?
There ain't no chance! And!

As Applejack sang, other performers started to join in and people began to dance along.

When ya come to spend your bits
You get service that always hits!

Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah!
You bet that-!

You're welcome!
Welcome at the Triple A!
You're Welcome!
Welcome at the Triple A!

We got home-fries
An' Apple pies
The best cider
Ain't no surprise.
There's beans and greens
All kinds makin' the scene
A variety
That just has ta be seen!

When ya come for one, you'll have a good time
When you leave you'll feel mighty fine!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!, You bet that-!
You're welcome!
Welcome at the Triple A!

Applejack returned to where she was. "How's 'at fr an explanation, miss Rich?" she said smugly.

Spoiled Rich was about to reply heatedly, but her husband tapped her shoulder. "Hon? I think it's time that we leave."

She looked at him a moment before realizing that she wouldn't help anything by making even more of a scene. So she decided to accept his reasoning.

Applejack called after them, "Come back any time!"

There was some general laughter at that.

Applejack slipped her ring on once more, reassuming her human form. "Right, y'all! Let's git back to it!"

There was a chorus of "Yeah!" as everyone went back to work as if no complaint had ever been raised.

Author's Note

1: To the tune of The Butter Barn Hoedown. I'm not doing the whole thing, though.