My vision slowly drifted into a snowy, white field. I blinked a few times… this is one of the few times I’ve… Wait, I’m dreaming. Neat. Well, at least I’m not having a nightmare. I glanced around, noting that the white field I was in, was actually a small glade in the middle of a snowy forest. It… was serene, to say the least. If this is the sort of dream I’ll get, just a little moment away from everyday life, of complete, utter peace, I am all for being able to have that in the dream world at least.

“Good, I can tinker with your dreams, as it appears…” I slowly turned around to… Murk, sitting on his haunches, only a meter or two away from me. “Goodnight, Ostri.” His silver coat stood out amongst the snowy field and trees, his nine tails waved gracefully behind his back, while two were curled around front, resting in front of his paws. If I were not shocked by him being in my dreams, I would’ve walked up to him and bopped him on the head for being cute.

“...How are you here? I thought only Luna could dreamwalk-”

“Kumiho and Kitsune are very much capable of doing the same. We have to be able to manipulate mortals, after all. However, that is not why I am here. Before you even ask, yes, Blaze can technically do this as she is both Kitsune and Kumiho, but I do not believe she knows how to. I only learnt this because of an ancient one of my kind, who happened to be my mother.” Murk tilted his head. “You were thinking I was going to ‘screw with your brain’ weren’t you?”

“...Maybe.”

“I will do no such thing. As I have said, I am soulbound to Blaze, a common ritual for our kinds’ mating habits. No, Blaze is not looking to mate with you. What this means is that I, by extension, am soulbound to you since you are also her soulmate. Seeing as we are both bound together, your wellbeing is one of my top priorities… Just ignoring the survival side of this, you are technically a part of my family now. I am, above all, loyal to my family, Ostri. When I was reading your mind earlier… I noticed something important…

“You are emotionally broken, depressed, whatever you may call it. You’ve been so broken down that I’m certain that, even if you could very likely fight a bear and win, you’d let it kill you. The only reason why you didn’t let those yetis kill you is because you wanted to buy those ponies time to run away. You are so emotionally distraught and whenever Blaze or Queen Chrysalis makes any progress on you, something happens that resets their progress.

“And I am not here to demand you unbound with Blaze, or tell you to grow up or quit feeling. Emotions are important to all living beings that can feel them. If there was no love between Blaze and I, we would simply be mates and not care for each other. If a dog couldn’t be happy to see its master, it would wither away and die with no sense of purpose. Emotions help us feel alive and enjoy living. The fact that you’re barely hanging on for Blaze and Chrysalis, and myself now that I am here, is scary, Ostri. It is horrifying to see something so… empty. There are fleeting moments of love and happiness, which is good; it means you aren’t unsaveable. However, it does not make me any happier to see you like this.”

“...Well…” I scratched the back of my head. “God damn you for being so on the nose, my man.” I chuckled humorlessly. “Man, if I were just given some time, after Luna broke up with me at first, I would be fine.”

“...I presume that was your first option as a mate before Chrysalis?”

“We almost became mates. Why are you asking this if you can rip this information from my mind.”

“I respect my family and am loyal to them. Your brain and its memories are something I do not touch unless I feel you are going to ask a trivial question.”

“Oh.”

“Now, what did Luna do to you?” I told him what happened. You all know the story by now, Luna broke up with me, and said it was my fault. Yadda yadda, I don’t deserve love, yadda yadda, I am just some worthless fucking twat. I would continue, but Murk growled at me for thinking that just now. “...What kind of messed up creature would treat their mate in such a fashion? Fucking queen ants are nicer to their mates; at least they have the nerve to put their mates out of their misery instead of torturing them.”

“Man, fuck if I know. Hey, this glade’s nice and all, but I’m tired of sitting in the snow-”

“You’re asking for permission to cuddle?” Murk smirked. “I don’t believe Blaze or I have gotten the chance to tell you this. I am a huge cuddlebug. You could’ve tackled me the moment you noticed that I was in your dream, and I would’ve allowed it. I just don’t allow anyone to cuddle me, however. You, with you being a part of my family? I will allow you to hug me whenever you like. I know you get dopamine from it, so it'll help you if you hug me. Come here, you stupid horse. Allow me to groom your mane, your ears, and whatnot to make you feel just a little bit happier. As I am not the most helpful when it comes to emotionally helping others, I cannot fix you, but I can help you feel loved and appreciated. Ostri.”

That was the last thing said before I bowled into him. To be frank, Kitsune, and Kumiho are the best cuddle buddies, apparently. Chrysalis is great, but… actually, she could probably magic up nine tails and wrap them around me too. I laid silently, relishing in the top quality, Nap Time Kumiho Grooming, until it stopped. Mid lick, on my forehead. I blinked a few times… god, being groomed has always felt good since I became a pony, that I was completely out of it. I blinked a few more times, looked around and up at Murk.

“Uh… what’s up?”

“We are not alone, as it appears.” Murk laid his head in between my ears. “Don’t worry, I’ll resume grooming you after a certain somepony leaves. Perhaps outside of the dreamworld so that you’ll actually be able to feel it for real?”

“Wouldn’t Blaze get jealous?”

“No. She’d be happy to see that we are getting along so well.” Murk hummed. “Then she’d demand your attention, or mine depending on how she is feeling.”

“Mmm. Wanna sneak off at some point and get her a bag full of something sweet and sugary?”

“...That I do.” We both had a short ‘cheers’', with rocks, to Blaze. Unfortunately for us, we ended up being visited by a certain, blue whorse. “Good one, Ostri, very original,” Murk said as Luna descended from where ever the fuck she had came from. She blinked a few times at the sight of Murk, before her eyes landed on me.

"...Shut up man. I thought it was cool." Like Blaze, Murk can let out a very human-like laugh.

“Did you dye Blaze and teach her to dreamwalk?”

“Man, I don’t know how to even dreamwalk myself. Don’t you need to be able to use your magic in an external way to be able to do that anyways?” I asked. I couldn’t be asked to get angry at seeing Luna right now. “Meh, it doesn't matter. No, I found a Kumiho that wants pups, and Blaze is apparently very, very attractive by Kitsune and Kumiho standards. So, I have two pets, or rather, I became the Kumiho’s pet. So here I am, laying in the Kumiho’s grasp because he knows dream magic, somehow. I am not questioning how because I do not care enough to figure out how. With that said, however… why the fuck are you here?”

“...I was checking in to see how you are doing,” Luna said. She was very, very obviously lying.

“You can use dream magic to track down creatures, Ostri,” Murk said flatly. “She’s hoping to track you down for some reason.”

“...You stupid fox. Stay out of mine and Ostri’s business.”

“I would if you hadn’t so thoroughly ruined him, woman.” Murk growled. “Now say what you want to say and get out.”

“I… Ostri, why don’t you even look remotely angry? I thought you’d at least be shouting at me, but you’re just… laying there, smiling slightly. Are you… feeling better?”

“No. I just can’t get mad right now. I just can’t be asked. What’s the point of getting mad when it won’t change the results of what will happen and what might happen? You and your sister are probably getting ready to stop in Baltimare and award me as war hero after slandering my name in the newspaper. To bring me ‘home’ and title me the general or whatever. I could fight back, I could not. I honestly don’t think I can put the effort to fight back anymore. All I requested, when we first broke up, was that you leave me alone Luna. If you ever actually loved me, you would leave me be. Just please, please let me heal. I can’t stop you; you’re a lot stronger than I am, magically and physically. However, back when we were on more even footing, I never took advantage of you, I never made an effort to hurt you. I still want to do my damn best to not actually lash out at you… However, if you show up tomorrow or ever, and Blaze, or Murk, who is more than willing to rip your head off, I won’t stop them from doing so.

“But please, just leave me be. I’m starting to at least feel happier, despite me killing yet another fucking squadron of troops for your country or whatever. I’ve got a marefriend that loves me to death. Cadance and Shining Armor are very protective of me, and I can appreciate that. Blaze and Murk are nothing but sweet to me. Please just give me time, and as I said, maybe we can look back at this one day and laugh, maybe we cannot. Maybe I’ll end up dead in a ditch somewhere because I just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m being the bigger man though, and I’m choosing not to lash out at you, or Celestia. Lulu, I know of so, so many ways to ruin this country and burn it to the ground. I could go to the Storm King, request those stone ball-thingies that were gonna be used on you, and capture every princess alive right now and fuck you all over. I could, but I know that fighting back isn’t what I need or want to do. It’s not the right thing to do. So, one more time, please leave me be. I just want to live my life and be happy. I cannot do that if you do not allow me to.”

“...You’ve not called me Lulu in quite a long time. It felt… Is this what it felt like? A thousand years ago?”

“Meh, not that it matters. Say, did you burn those necklaces or whatever? If not and you hunt me down with your sister, can you bring those? I wanna sell them and try getting new ones made for me and Chryssy if we choose to get married. Might as well start the tradition a thousand years late to the party and all that.”

“You know,” Murk said. “You don’t need to sell them. Just tell Cadance the idea, and she’ll probably give them to you for free. She is the Princess of Love and leader of the Crystal Empire. I’m sure she’d love the idea of introducing a new way to signify that your heart belongs to another.”

“Good point. Nevermind then, Luna. Bring those anyways; I could always use some more travel money.”

“...You aren’t even getting mad that you know that my sister and I will attempt to make it to Baltimare the moment we are done having this conversation?”

“Nope. Don’t care. Cadance will rip your assholes-anew. Murk, try and stand down if my ex shows up tomorrow.”

“...Telling me not to harm the woman in front of us? You have greater respect for this mare than she does for you. If I were you, that mare would've been dead already for not fucking off."

“I just don’t wanna kill anyone. I’ve killed enough to burn in hell for a lifetime.”

“Can I kill her while she is in the dream with us?”

“Will it kill her?”

“No. It will just force her out of the dreamscape and make her wake up. Her joints might feel awful when she wakes up and have phantom pain... in relation to how I killed her. Bite her head off? She'll feel her head getting bit off throughout the incoming weeks.”

“Please just don’t do it within my sight, please, Murk-” the Kumiho was gone, dragging Luna, who was now too shocked to scream, into the forest surrounding my little place. Muk walked back out after it sounded like a tree got snapped into two, and curled up around me. “...How’d you do it?”

“I broke a log and shoved it in Luna’s head.” Luna soon came back into my dream.

“WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT FOR?” Luna shouted. She looked visibly disturbed.

Suddenly, an idea came to mind. “Hey Murk, can you kill Luna with fire? I wanna watch this.” Murk proceeded to kill Luna again, and again, and again in front of me. You know, this is like those old flash games, where you whack some person with level of authority, or somebody that has fucked with you, constantly to relieve stress. As much as I apparently claimed to not wanna see Luna die, seeing her get killed with a traffic cone was kinda funny. Hell, she even got nuked once, stabbed in the ass by a fake Nightmare Moon, all while Murk’s tails were wagging.

“This may convince me to not immediately kill her if she shows up tomorrow, Ostri. I can get my violent tendencies out here, at least. I know you’re taking some joy in this.” Murk said as Luna got blasted with a fake ‘Elements of Harmony’ and all they did was burn her to a crisp. “I wish I could do some of these methods in the land of the living, but unfortunately, they are restricted to dreams.” He stopped, and grabbed Luna by the snout. “Quit entering this pony’s dreams, and I will stop killing you in them.” He then bit her head off.

“Hey, I will admit, seeing Luna in pain, while knowing nothing truly awful will come of this? It helps. It helps a lot… Or I may be a sociopath.”

“No you aren’t. You’re just seeing justice. It’s satisfying, is it not? As arbitrary of a concept as that is, I do find it quite nice.” He spat dream Luna’s decapitated head on the ground.

“Popcorn?” We both jumped when we saw a fucked up looking snake, goat, lion, horse, dragon, whatever the fuck chimera pop up in our dreams. “What? I heard that a Princess was getting destroyed in her own domain. How could I not stop by and watch?”

“...The fuck?”

“Oh, my apologies. I am Discord, Spirit of Chaos, and good friends with a pegasus named Fluttershy, I believe you know her?”

“Yeah. How are you here?” Discord raised an eyebrow. “I’m assuming you’re a being made up of nothing but magic too, hence why you’re here.”

“That is completely correct.” He clapped as Muk literally just sat on the new Dream Luna’s head until she stopped squirming; she suffocated. “So, Popcorn?” Both me and my Kumiho smirked and took a piece of popcorn. “Oh! Reenact when General Grievous died in Revenge of the Sith!” As requested, Luna came back through the dreamscape and got blasted in the chest. It was quite… gruesome and awesome, to be frank. That was the last time she showed up.

“Phewy. Well, Ostri, if you ever desire a hand, give me a call, my number is nine, one, one. I’ll be there in a jiffy. I cannot say I can actually give you a hand; that would require me giving you my hand.” As he said that, he detached his arm and gave it to me. “But I can give you a paw!” His other arm, while holding the detached arm, floated off his body. I need to point out that the other arm was a lion paw. “Well?”

“Holy shit, that is fucking awesome. You got any other magic tricks?” Discord seemed to have a field day with showing both myself and Murk his chaos magic in my dreams until I woke up. It was fucking sick, dude.

Author's Note

a bit on the short side but... hey, Ostri got some form of therapy out of watching Luna get her shit kicked in for a solid hour straight. Next chapter, we'll see if our man can just flee Baltimare before the Princesses can get into a chariot.