The Twilight Prince: Omakes

When Celestia trotted into Twilight's throneroom, he felt the tension in the bodies of all the mares piled upon him. The solar princess was far from the most popular mare amongst his wives. Nonetheless, he did the best to exude an air of calm control. "Celestia."

"Twilight."

"What can I do for you?"

"I received a letter from the king of Yakyakistan." Celestia frowned, "Do you want to guess what it says?"

"Is the king apologizing for his violent, spoiled brat of a son?"

"What? No, of course not."

"Then, I've got nothing. What about you, ladies?"

The surrounding mares all shook their heads.

Celestia scowled, "He's appalled at how you treated his son."

Twilight chuffed in amusement, "Ironic, because I'm appalled at how Prince Rutherford treated my ponies."

"Twilight, I trusted you to show the Yakyakistani delegation a good time."

"And I trusted Rutherford to not be a violent, entitled psychopath. I guess we're all disappointed sometimes."

Celestia looked away from the royal ponypile. "What happened to you? I raised you to be better than this, part of being a prince is exercising patience with difficult individuals. Why did you stoop to their level?"

"Um, princess," spoke Fluttershy, "being a better pony does not mean letting a bully stomp all over you. Sometimes it means that you have to stand up and say 'no', especially when the bully is hurting other ponies."

Twilight nuzzled the yellow mare, he was so proud of her.

"All you had to do was ... accept ... the yak's ... eccentricities ... for a couple days and everypony would go home happy."

"If that's what you wanted, then you were welcome to host the savages at your own castle. And no, 'everypony' wouldn't 'go home happy', I would have gone home unhappy, and so would all my subjects whose property was destroyed by the tantrums of a bunch of oversized foals."

"Diplomacy is a process of compromise, Twilight."

"Do you even know what that word means? Compromise is a process of give and take, it's not give and give and give and give and maybe the other party will give something back if they feel like it. No wonder Prince Rutherford is such an entitled monster, you made him that way." Twilight paused, his eyes widening in horrific realization, "By the stars, this is your modus operandi for all your efforts in diplomacy, isn't it? No wonder Equestria has no real allies, no wonder all our trade deals are so massively skewed in the other party's favour, no wonder so many nations are so secure in their unprovoked aggression towards us, no wonder we're the laughing stock of the world. The world has grown fat and entitled on the backs of the common pony, and they constantly nip at our hooves in hopes of getting just a little bit more."

Celestia's expression became dark, "Twilight, Yakyakistan declared war on us."

At that, Twilight broke out into a deep laugh.

"Twilight, this is no laughing matter. You started a war."

"I don't think that I'm the one responsible for that."

"Well, you are."

Twilight glared at Celestia, "Okay." he looked around at the mares surrounding him, "Up and at em, ladies, lets get suited up. We're going on vacation."

The ponypile disassembled itself in and orderly fashion, soon every one of it's former constituents was standing.

"Oh, oh, oh, can I mare a cannon?" Proto-Queen Lepidoptera buzzed her wings as she trotted in place.

Twilight leaned down to nuzzle the excitable changeling, pushing a thread of his affection and love into her. "Of course you can mare a cannon, Dora."

"Twilight, what are you doing?"

"Well, if I'm the one responsible for starting a war, the least I can do is end it. So get out of our way, Celestia, we're leveling a castle."