Thoughts and feelings

by Sugar Moon

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Romance, Big Macintosh, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3847

Twilight spends time on the farm and learns how to feel instead of how to think.

Twilight is everyponys favourite egghead. She's a mare of more thoughts than any single pony could possess.
Big Mac is Sweet Apple Acres gentle giant. He may not speak much but he's got more feelings trapped inside than anypony would guess.
When a change in her schedule occurs will the two viewpoints clash? And will sparks fly?

A Ship-fic written from Twilights point of view.

Published 2012-10-09 05:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-09 05:40:01 UTC

Chapter One.

Chapter One.

“Spike” I called through my library.

“Yeah Twilight?” he replied while poking his head around the bedroom door frame.

“Can you get me my saddlebags please?”

“On it.” he finished with a mock salute as her scurried off. I smiled at his antics. That's my spike. Always so helpful and dutiful. Maybe he could be the seventh element of harmony? Duty? Note to self investigate further.

Stepping off the bed I was seated at I made my way downstairs. It was going to be a busy day.

Spike returned with my favourite saddlebags in his claws. He sneakily placed a small bag of sandwiches in the left side. Always trying to look after me. I really have to get him some more gems or do something nice for him.

“What do you need this for anyway?” he asked as I placed the saddlebags on with my magic. “If you're trying to shrink all the books into them again, I don't want be around after what happened last time.”

“That would have worked if some-Dragon hadn't broke my concentration.” a pointed mock severity tinged my words. Reaching down I nuzzled him sisterly. “I'm just going to Aj's farm to help out.”

Spike squirmed a little and blushed furiously. “Jeez cut it out Twilight. I'm a big dragon now. Not a baby.”

“I know.” Oh how I knew. He was growing up so fast. Seems like only yesterday he was hatched and I was thrust into surrogate motherhood. Straightening up I looked him in the eye. “Now I should be back tonight so don't be planning to just sit here and binge on ice cream.”

“You got it.”

I started trotting towards the door and as I left I called back “ and besides I think Rarity needed some help foalsitting.”

“My lady Rarity?” his excited scream was loud enough to be heard from Cloudsdale.

That elicited a chuckle from me. He always got so excited when Rarity was mentioned. I suppose that's what happens when you have a crush. I honestly wouldn't know,I haven't given the subject much thought or study.

Looking around outside I noticed it was a beautiful Ponyville summer day. The birds were singing and it seemed that everypony was out enjoying Celestia's sun in one way or another.

Walking around it also seemed that everypony out today was a couple. Almost strolling right over me Lyra and Bon-Bon , outside sugarcube corner Mr and Mrs cake enjoyed a brief respite from work,the kids and Pinkie by just sitting in one anothers company. Heck even Berry Punch and Colgate were out today playing with their little filly.

Now that is strange.
Not the events themselves, they are perfectly innocuous and innocent but all them happening together. And me noticing them.

While I admit I am not the most astute pony when it comes to the finer points of L'amour I'm not totally dense. Yet it is odd for me to notice it so much.

As I continued to walk it seemed that it was happening even more around me. A shy stuttering colt presenting a flower to a blushing filly before she finally squeaked a yes and tackled him to the ground all the while smattering him with kisses.

It seems that it happens everywhere.

I think I'll have to do some research on it when I return home. The nature of relationships and other romantic information. It's really just an extension of friendship isn't it?

“Ms Twilight?” A soft solid voice rang through the air breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Mr Macintosh?” I was a little bit confused. I finally looked around my surroundings and noticed I was at Sweet apple acres. I really need to stop thinking so much when I'm walking. I was just lucky this time that he called out to me or i'd be half way to Fillydelphia before I knew it.

“Big Macs fine Ms Twilight. You here to see Aj?” His voice had an unexpected musical quality to it. As if every syllable was part of a slow, endless ballad, so slow you'd barely register it.

“Sort off. She asked me here to help with the harvest.” I shot Big Mac a playful glare. “And Mr Macintosh is fine with me. At least until you just starting calling me Twilight.”

An earthy laugh rumbled from deep within his chest. “Ms Twilight it is then. Papa always said to be respectful to a lady and well that's what ah intend to do.”

Always so mannerly. I know Rarity always thinks that the apples a bit less refined but I don't see it. They have the manners of royalty themselves and the warmth and friendliness of close family. Seems to me that Big Mac would fit quite nicely into fine society. He's such a gentlecolt. All he needs is a cute little tux and he'd make quite the strapping figure.

Heat radiated across my cheeks at that image. Now that is curious.

“Ms Twilight?” Big Mac asked with equal parts worry and concern.

I must have been standing there like a slightly crazy statue.

“Oh, sorry Mr. Macintosh, I got caught up a little in my thoughts. You know me, egghead is the most charitable thing you could say about me.” I chuckled nervously at my own joke. Big Mac still looked at me with those concerned eyes. “Anyway what were you saying sorry?”

Deciding to leave my craziness well enough alone he spoke “Ah said AJ ain't here no more. She ran off into town. Said something bout Rarity but that was about it. Ah'm surprised you didn't see her when you walked in yourself Ms Twilight.”

“So she's not here?” I asked rather stupidly.

He just shook his head slowly.
“This is not good. This is not good.” I started to trot in place, quickly from one hoof to the next. “This is not good. She can't do this. I have a schedule. A very important schedule.”

Big Mac just stood there slightly dumbfounded as I had a nervous break down in front of him.

Still panicking I rushed up and grabbed him by his shoulders (his strong muscular shoulders a detached part of me thought. Curiouser and curiouser.) and shook him as if he was a ragdoll.

“She can't do this to me. It messes up my schedule for the next three weeks.” My eyes darted around worriedly. This was bad. I had planned everything out for the next two weeks even taking into account the possibility of over 12 seperate Pinkie surprise parties that may or may not happen. Seriously her parties are the real life version of Coltdingers cat.

This is the worst possible thing ever. Who would have thought that dependable Applejack would be the one to ruin my schedule. I'm going to fall behind in my plans then I won't be able to complete my studies so they'll have to be moved into my socialising time. Oh Celestia then I won't be able to see my friends and they'll abandon me and spike will leave to live with Rarity....

“TWILIGHT” A powerful voice rumbled through the farm. It was loud enough to make a Dragonshout seem like Fluttershys quietest whisper. The instant my name was called it derailed my insane train of thought.

“Yes Mr Macintosh?” I asked timidly falling down to my belly.

I know I'm one of the elements of harmony but honestly I was scared. Discord was not as scary as the idea of Big Mac angry. I knew Big Mac would never hurt anypony but I always think back to that old Starswirl the bearded quote “Three things a wise pony fears. The nightmare moon on a dark, silent night, the ocean in a storm and most of all the anger of a quiet Stallion.”

They don't come much quieter than Big Mac.

At my response he softened.

“It's ok Ms Twilight. Ah'm sorry to have raised my voice but you were going all kinds of crazy. And Ah remember the last time that happened.” I blanched a little at the memory. All those mares chasing Big Mac just to get my Doll. It's strange but thinking of it now I only have two real thoughts about it. Protective of Big Mac and weirdly, jealous. Jealous of those mares who got so close to him.

Jeez Sparkle you really are losing your marbles.

“So you can understand now why I had to shout?” He waited until I nodded meekly before continuing. “You don't have to worry about your schedule Ms Twilight.”

I looked at him as if he had grown another head. Did he not understand all my careful planning crashing down around my ears?

“Ah mean to say we can still do everything according to your plan only ah can take Aj's place. If that's all-right with you of course?” Why didn't I think of that. Today has not been a good day for my intelligence.

“Mr Macintosh that's perfect. I can't believe I didn't think of it myself. Thank you.” I may be still a little loopy but I could swear I saw Big Mac's scarlet coat turn an even deeper shade of red.

“Not a problem Ms Twilight. It's us who should be thanking you. Ah mean you are helping us do work on the farm after all.” He offered me his hoof to help me back on my hooves.”and besides it ain't every day ah get to spend time with a beautiful mare.”

The blood that should have been in my brain to make an appropriate response instead decided that my cheeks needed it a whole lot more. Traitor.

Instead I giggled like a vapid cheerleader.

Clearing my throat I decided to ignore his compliment and get straight down to business. I had a schedule to keep after all.

“So Mr Macintosh what are we doing today?” Still holding my hoof he lead me gently towards the eastern fields. Strange how I never noticed his gentle grip lingering on mine till now.

“Well..” he paused in remembrance,as if some other thoughts were occupying his mind. “ We should start on these fields here. Clear them of all the apples and check the branches to make sure there ain't any dead ones.”

The field stretched out before my eyes. As far as I could see there was trees filled to bursting with ripe apples. This was going to be a long day.

Though for some reason part of me was not complaining at all. It must be because I'm helping out my friends.

Cantering off in front of Big Mac I stopped in front of the first tree. Deciding that I had suffered enough embarrassment, it was time to show what I could do. I spun on my front hooves and lashed out with my back, connecting solidly with the tree a jolt shuddered up my legs. I faced Big Mac and beamed proud of myself. It was a good buck and the apples should be tumbling down right about now.

That's when an apple bonked me on the head.

A stifled laugh came from the direction of Big mac so I shot him a death glare. Though its effect was probably lessened by me rubbing my head.

Composing himself he decided to talk. “ That was a mighty fine try there Ms Twilight. Mighty fine. Though ah do have one or two corrections to make.” He snorted a little at the end.

“And they are?” My voice came across harder than I meant it to.

“Number one, you should try to aim for the middle of the trunk. That way the whole tree will shake the apples instead of just the branch directly under you.”

“and number two?”

He snorted again pointing a hoof directly above me. “Don't stand under a branch filled with apples.”

The day just continued like this for some time. Me attempting to buck the trees and failing in some minor way. Yet Mac never seemed to tire of this. He just softly corrected me and assured me that i'd get it eventually.

“That's easy for you to say.” I huffed after the 327th attempt. I know I was keeping count. Sitting down on my rump in exasperation, my voice took on a more glum tone. “Easy for you apples. I'll never get it.”

He trotted towards me and sat down, shifting his yoke as he got comfortable.

“Ms Twilight do you know the story of Aj's cutie mark?” He asked his tone inquisitive.

“Of course. She wanted to see more of the world and become more cultured so she stayed with her aunt and uncle in Manehattan.” I explained looking up at his eyes. “ But she wasn't happy and realised she loved the farm too much. That's when she got her cutie mark.”

“Eenope.”

“What?” The shock must have been visible on my face as Big Mac continued explaining before my crazy train could gather up steam.

“It's close but that ain't it exactly. Sure she did leave for the reasons you said so she didn't lie but there was another. Another reason why she thought she wasn't right for the farm.” He smiled roguishly at me. “Aj couldn't buck worth a darn.”

“Applejack? You have got to be kidding me.”

Big Mac managed to get out a single word between his heaving laughter.

“Eenope.”

I just couldn't believe it. There was no way that was possible. She bucked like she was born into it, heck she was born into it. It went against all reason and logic.

Managing to control himself he told me about how it was before she left. Granny smith was in charge of everything and despite being well in to old age could still run the farm. There was a quiet admiration in his voice as he spoke of her running everything single-hoofedly.

“A lot of ponys said Granny was too old to do it by herself. A farm and three foals?” His question mocking and ridiculous. “ Nopony could handle it they thought, let alone a mare.” he snorted derisively. “ Idiots. Granny showed them all. Pa had already shown me the how tos of applebucking so ah helped where ah could but you know Aj. She just had to help too. Being the stubborn little filly that she was she kept trying to applebuck for months before she packed it in.” He looked at me then, his face etched with a sadness not since healed. “ Thats when she ran away to live with the oranges. She left us a note saying she felt useless and that if she couldn't handle being a cowpony she'd just have to live with soft city folk.” He blinked remembering his words. “No offense meant of course Ms Twilight.”

“No its alright. Please go on.”

I was entranced. By his story and by his face as he told it. The love he felt for his family was so plain that even I could see it. I'm surprised I didn't see it before. When Applejack came back from Dodge Junction he was in tears. To him he must have thought she ran away for good this time. It was obvious how much Applejack's running away hurt him. A flare of anger rose at me when I thought of it. How could she hurt him so? I fought down the spike of rage. It was silly really. It all happened so long ago that it shouldn't matter any more. And why should I care so much about what happened between them when they were fillys. Especially since they both seemed to be over it. Still though. I was going to have a few words to say to Applejack before the day was out.

“Well as you know she did come back. Eventually. We was all so happy. Even more so when we seen she had gotten her cutie mark. That's when she threw herself into applebucking. The reason she is so good Ms Twilight is because she never gave up. She stuck at it. Did you succeed every spell the first time Ms twilight?”

I shook my head slowly, a smile played about my lips.

“See? It takes time. The best things in life always do.” He stood up and offered me his hoof like he did earlier.

“The best things in life?” I said as I grasped it pulling myself up.

“Yes ma'am. Apples, love, friends and family. They all take time to grow. And thats half the fun. The anticipation. 'It ain't the journey, its the destination.'”

“ I never took you as a philosopher Mr Macintosh.” I teased.

“Ah don't know much about that. But What ah do know is that we have a schedule to keep. Now come on, times a-wasting.”

With that he trotted playfully off towards the trees laughing all the way. It was so infectious that I found myself laughing all along side him.

“Wait up.” I called intent on catching him.

“Now remember what ah told you.” Big Mac warned, his words were practised as if he was used to saying them over and over. Thinking of Applejack and the mischievous Applebloom that was probably close to the truth.

“I got it this time. Front hooves straight. Check. Back hooves coiled tight. Check.” Looking over my shoulder to confirm my positioning I caught sight of Big Mac. His green eyes seemed intent on something. Wait. Is he looking at my...slightly flustered at the sudden attention I tried to focus on my task.“Uh..Positioning check. Right Mr Macintosh?” That should stop him staring at my flank.

“Right Ms Twilight.” His eyes snapped back to a more appropriate place. “In your own time now.”

Sticking my tongue out of the corner of my muzzle in concentration and closing my eyes, I lashed out with my back hooves with a controlled strike in the centre of the tree.

Thwack.

There was silence for a second. Then two, then I was rewarded with the gentle sound of apples raining into buckets with muffled thunks.

“Congratulations Ms Twilight. Thats your first harvest, Earth pony style.” Big Macs grin was lopsided and proud.

It was so good to see him smile. The stoic stallion rarely smiled as far as I could tell. Instead quietly trudging along doing what needed to be done on the farm. In fact today is probably the most I've ever heard him speak let alone smile so much. And It was me that was putting it there. That difference made it more important somehow.

“Thank you Mr Macintosh. It was under your expert Tutelage that I flourished so much.”

“Thank you kindly.” Now I know I'm not imagining it. He's blushing.

I left the freshly bucked tree and headed to a new one before a thought struck me.

“You know Mr Macintosh this is a side I've never seen of you. Usually you are so silent.”

“Eeyup.”

I laughed lightly rearing up on my front hooves preparing to buck the next tree “Back to the silent treatment then?”

“Eeyu..” Big Mac never finished the sentence.

My hoof had cracked into the tree and tore into the trunk like knife through butter, jamming my left hoof in the process. The crack carried up the tree culminating in an almighty CRACK as a branch above me splintered noisily and hurtled towards me as fast as gravity would allow.

Quick as a flash a towering figure was above me forcing me onto my back to shield me from the blow. It was Big Mac, his face scrunched to steel himself from the coming blow.

I couldn't believe it. That has to be the single dumbest thing i've ever seen.

“Um Mr Macintosh?” I asked sheepishly “ Can you get off me?”

Forcing his eyes in open in rapid startled blinking he seemed to realise the embarrassing (but not problematic) position he had me in.

“Ms Twilight? Ah thought..”

“Thought that I would be speared by a falling branch so you decided to foolishly risk yourself to protect me from shrubbery. That about sum it up?” I completed with a wry inflection.

“Eeyup.”

“Mr Macintosh, not to brag but I am Celestia's personal student. As you can see I have the offending branch in my magical grip.” I shook the branch above him slightly to make my point. “I was no danger. What you did was well, stupid. And nonsensical. Why would you do that?”

His brow furrowed in confusion at my question.
“Ma'am it was to protect you.”

“I can protect myself.” I shot back a little annoyed at his chauvinism.

“Never said you couldn't.” his voice gained a steely quality. “But does that mean you have to? A stallion protects what he cares for. No matter the cost to himself.”

Coming from anypony else I would have called it an act, or maybe a pig-headed view. Yet he was serious. He wanted to protect me. Some deep need in him was to see me safe. To sweep me up in his strong hooves and hold me close away from all that could harm me.

I was suddenly aware at how close he was to me in that towering stance. His chest heaved slightly as he looked down at me when suddenly his words clicked. He said “protects what he cares for.” From a stallion like Big Mac who didn't say much, every word was laced with meaning. Even if he didn't what he felt outright, what he meant was crystal clear. He may as well written it in neon letters across the sky.

Not bothering with being formal anymore I finally spoke. “Big Mac are you saying what I think you're saying?”

“Eeyup.” Such a simple word yet conveying more meaning and feelings than I could if I had a roll of parchment from here to Canterlot.

My face grow hotter “ I don't know what to think..”

Leaning down he cut me off “Twilight, sometimes thinking just muddies the issue. Sometimes the most important thing is to feel.”

His muzzle pushed feverishly down to mine with suprising care. He was restraining himself as his lips crushed against mine in a sweet appley embrace. A low hungry growl escaped my throat and with that, restraint both mine and his went out the window. It felt as if a dozen fireworks exploded across my chest sending bursts of chromatic pleasure to coarse through me with each peck of the lips setting off a fresh wave.

All too soon our kisses had ended with him looking at me full of himself.

“What did you think of that Twilight?”

My thoughts ceased to coalesce in my head. All my life I had been a thinking pony, one who literally could not stop thinking. One of my biggest flaws was over-thinking things and here I was without a single thought.

But I could feel.

“Twilight?” His cocky tone hitched a little with uncertainty.

In response I just pulled his lips back to mine.