Ballpen

How did it all start?

It seems that since I decided to take a bath.

Well, everyone knows how it's done. You take off your clothes, get into the bath, turn on and adjust the water, and so on and so forth.

And it’s better not to drop the soap. And not at all for the reason that might occur to someone vulgar.

It’s just that when a slippery and wet piece ends up under your foot at the bottom of the bathtub, it’s very easy to slip.

I swore. I desperately waved my arms, trying to regain the balance. I grabbed the curtain, the thin plastic curtain crackled and broke. I fell into the water with a scream, and the cast-iron edge of the bathtub hit me heartily on the back of my head.

BOOM!!!

The water closed overhead.

Half-stunned, I frantically waved my arms, trying to grab onto something, not finding support.

The light from the bulb in the socket above the door became further and dimmer. The surface of the water was moving away. My hands couldn't find anything to grab onto. There was a bottomless abyss below me instead of an acrylic-covered bottom. Darkness closed around.

How? How can you drown in an ordinary bathtub half a meter high?

I did not know. And I didn’t care at that moment. Water poured into my mouth and nose, and suffocation tightened my throat. I screamed, losing all the air I had left. I flailed my arms and legs, pushing my way through the water somewhere upward, to where I had last seen the light.

And the light returned. Not the usual white of an energy-saving light bulb, but dull yellow, as happens when a light bulb is plugged into a network with a power below its nominal value. I didn't care, of course. With the remaining air, with bulging eyes, I jumped to the surface and screamed, spitting and swearing at the same time.

And somebody else screamed along with me.

I didn't have time to see anything. Something shot up from the water right in front of my face and hit my knee hard and sensitively. It tried to jump to its feet...

And it smashed its head into the heavy bronze bathroom faucet. It staggered and splashed into the water, raising a bunch of splashes, just like I did less than a minute ago.

I shook my head and pumped the water out of my eyes and ears.

“What, ... ... ... ... ... ?!!!”

This is not my bath!

This is not my bathroom!

And who is it?!!

I stared at my unexpected bathmate, submerged under the water... and it dawned on me that if this... it... wasn't aquatic, and I wasn't going to drown it, then it would be best to get it out of the water.

Bent down. My hands slid over the wet fur, I grabbed it more comfortably, strained myself, and with effort lifted the wet creature above the water.

Exactly. Creature.

It definitely wasn't a human.

At first it seemed to me that I was holding a huge light green cat in my arms. More precisely, a transitional sea green color between blue and green.

No, not a cat. A small horse. Judging by the dark blue hooves and the long blue mane hanging in wet strands from the neck.

Although there was indeed something cat-like in the muzzle, more rounded and shorter than a horse’s, with large triangular ears and large, rolled-up eyes.

Well, except for the short twisted horn in the middle of the forehead.

The aquamarine horned cat-horse coughed. I hastily lowered its chest onto the side of the bathroom, especially since my arms were already tired - it weighed sixty to seventy kilograms. It wheezed and spat out a considerable amount of water onto the embroidered rug. Its gaze focused on me.

“Uh-uh...” I squeezed out with numb lips.

Yes of course. It's common to start drowning in your own bathtub. Dive to a few meters that physically cannot be there. And surface in someone else's bathroom, and with a green unicorn to boot!

Maybe I have hallucinations?

The cat-horse made an indistinct sound. It backed away from me. It got out of the bathroom On spreading hooves. It pressed her back into the corner of the bathroom, looking at me with wide eyes.

“What the …?!” that’s all I could say.

This is definitely not my bathroom. The tile is not white, but dark blue, with goldfish and seahorses painted on top of it. Instead of a mixer with a ball valve, there are two hefty taps with rotary valves, judging by the color - made of bronze, not stainless steel. The sink is unusually low to the floor, at waist height, and mirror too. And mirror is not a simple square one, like mine, but an oval one in a bronze frame with curls and hearts. On the shelves nearby there is a rich arsenal of some bottles and boxes. The lamp above the door is screwed into a porcelain shade stylized as a flower.

"Where I am?" I asked either the cat-horse or into space. Feeling my head spinning from shock and misunderstanding.

Instead of answering, the cat-horse jumped up and rushed out the door. A second later, a clanging noise was heard from outside.

I slowly stepped over the side. I looked around. I saw a terry towel embroidered with flowers hanging on a low hook and hastily wrapped it around my hips, in case the owner of the bathroom appeared, so as not to flash my naked junk in front of him.

Where I am? What's happening? I'm out of my mind?

I felt the back of my head. Expecting to find a huge lump there, stuffed into the bathtub. Finding nothing.

Staggering, I stepped across the threshold.

The cat-horse showed up behind the door, in a tiny dark corridor with several small closets. It was clutching the key in her teeth and fiercely poking it into the keyhole in another door, a meter from the bathroom. Hearing me open the bathroom door, it shuddered and rushed somewhere into the depths of the corridor, dropping the key.

I slammed my slack jaw shut. I walked up to the door and turned the handle. It didn't give in. I picked up the key, I don’t know why.

Feeling a nasty, tiny tremor spreading through my body, I took a few steps along the corridor. I opened one door slightly and there was a Genoa bowl toilet. Behind the second was a cramped kitchen with a gas stove with a couple of burners - also below my waist height. However, the ceiling above my head was unusually low; I could reach it with my hand without even standing on tiptoe.

The cat-horse was found in the corner of the third room, quite large compared to the others. In the darkness, the outlines of bookshelves, a table and a small sofa could be discerned. The cat-horse was pressed into the corner between the sofa and the wall, near the curtained window.

As soon as I crossed the threshold of the room, a dim aquamarine glow flashed. The mop standing in the corner shuddered, flew into the air and hovered in the middle of the room.

Glowing and threateningly aiming the bar at my chest.

“Uh-uh???” that’s all I said, picking up my jaw.

I carefully reached out and touched the mop with my finger.

The light melted. The mop fell to the floor with a crash. The cat-horse shuddered.

“Irya’ho mease,” it muttered. “Kelyatti neamne... ire! Ire!”

Oh my god... it sounded like articulate speech.

I felt my legs giving way. In time I saw a chair nearby and plopped down into it. Feeling my head spinning.

So. Once again and in order.

I wanted to take a shower. Fell and hit my head. I found himself somewhere in someone else's home. In front of me is a talking cat-horse-unicorn.

Yes. I'm probably crazy and see things.

I slowly extended my hand with the key towards the cat-horse.

“Hold it. You dropped it”

It slowly, as if it was afraid to make sudden movements, bowed its head. The horn glowed with the same dim light.

Shining at the same time, the key burst out of my palm and floated through the air towards the unicorn. Until it picked up a piece of metal with its teeth right out of the air.

Amendment. In front of me is a talking cat-horse-unicorn with telekinesis.

It said something again.

“You're welcome,” I muttered.

The cat-horse, just as slowly and smoothly, trying not to get close to me, made its way along the wall back into the corridor. I heard the clanging of keys in the lock. It continued for a suspiciously long time, then a dissatisfied exclamation was heard - one could feel it in the tone.

The hooves clopped back towards me. An aquamarine head timidly poked out from behind the doorframe. Something clicked, and a lamp lit up on the ceiling - unusually large and angular compared to the ones I was used to, as if a chemical flask had been screwed into place of a chandelier.

The horn glowed and the cabinet doors opened. Another towel floated across the room to the cat-horse, and she began (in the electric light I saw that the creature was clearly female), glancing in my direction, to wipe her wet mane. Deftly balancing on her hind legs and holding the towel with her front legs.

Somehow, abstractly, I thought that I had told the hostess quite a lot, including the wet chair. The thought flashed and disappeared in the depths of the shocked consciousness...

Stop.

The hostess?

Well, in general, the things around are just the right size for a cat-horse if she stands on her hind legs...

So, it turns out that I suddenly and without warning emerged from her bathtub when she, in turn, was about to take a shower?

Then it’s clear why she’s so scared.

Although this somehow doesn’t make it any easier for me.

What happened?

Did a portal to another dimension open in my bathroom or what?

Maybe this is a dream?

I pinched my leg. It was painful.

Slowly, like an old man, I rose from his chair.

I went to the window.

I wasn’t even surprised that outside the window I found a completely different from my usual one in the Moscow suburbs.

And there was a street lined with five-six-story red brick houses. The cobblestone street was illuminated by lanterns in dark metal braid on cast-iron poles. One or two yellow carriages flashed by, as I clearly saw, they were pulled by four-legged silhouettes very similar to a cat-horse behind me.

And in the rays of light from lanterns and numerous luminous windows, even more of the same four-legged creatures walked along the sidewalk. Dozens, if not hundreds.

I recoiled and pulled the curtain back. Staggering along the wall, I made my way to a chair and fell into it.

“Where I am?” I asked the cat-horse doomedly.

She shook her head. She said a long phrase in a language I didn’t know. I also shook my head, demonstrating misunderstanding.

My stomach chose that moment to loudly grumble to remind me that the last thing it had in it was the sandwich I ate at lunchtime.

The unicorn twitched her ear. I involuntarily blushed.

She asked something again. She must have wondered if I was hungry.

“Eat?” – I asked again. “Well, yes, I’m hungry. Seems”

She looked at me thoughtfully. Nodding with a very human gesture, she disappeared behind the door. Something started clapping and clanking.

I closed my eyes.

Where I am? How did I get here? Is this another planet, or a parallel world, or some other crap with magical talking unicorns instead of humans? How do I get out of here?

There was a clicking sound nearby. I opened my eyes and saw a bowl with a spoon looming in front of the chair in a greenish glow. Quite a familiar look.

I extended my hand cautiously. I looked into the bowl incredulously. Sliced cucumbers and tomatoes did not give the impression of alien vegetables.

I raised the spoon to my mouth and shuddered. Is she trying to poison me now?

I decisively lowered the spoon and handed the bowl to the unicorn.

“ You. Try it first”

She looked blankly. I poked my finger at it, then pretended to lift the spoon to my mouth and chew.

It seemed to help - the cat-horse nodded again, put a spoonful of salad into her mouth with her hoof (how?) and crunched the vegetables appetizingly.

Without any doubt, I began to eat the treat. The salad was not bad. As the spoon scraped along the bottom, I set the bowl on the coffee table.

“Thanks a lot. It was delicious,” I put my hand to my heart and made a bow.

The corners of the unicorn's mouth turned up. It seems that it not only looked like a smile, but actually was one.

Well, contact has been made. Eating together is a sign of trust in many cultures, right?

I caught the eye of the cat-horse. She still remained wary, but at least she no longer tried to press herself into the walls.

“ Evgeniy. Evgeniy Komarov,” I poked myself in the chest with a finger.

The unicorn twitched her ear.

“Alyatara Kiri,” she pointed at herself with her hoof.