Ballpen

Where to start negotiations with an otherworldly creature? Which may (or may not) be aggressive, which does not understand your language, which does not know where it ended up?

Alas for me. I knew two things about linguistic spells. The first is that they exist. The second is that they are very complex, dangerous, and there are only a few unicorns in all of Equestria who can use them.

I thought about it.

For starters, maybe I should somehow let Yev’eni know that he is no longer in his homeland?

My eye fell on “The Small Atlas of Equestria and Adjacent Lands” that I had bought a year ago. I grabbed it with telekinesis and brought it closer. Opened it to the flyleaf, where the map of the hemispheres was located, and handed it to the human.

“Equus,” I said. Having made sure that I had captured the guest’s attention, I repeated:

“Equus.”

The human looked at the map. He raised his eyes to heaven.

“Nyakova,” he muttered under his breath. Or something like that. It sounded like Kirin, although I knew only a few words of it.

He pointed his finger at the map, causing the magical field to tremble.

“Ekaiz?”

Oh, Holy Sisters, his accent was terrible.

“Equus,” I said more slowly. I pointed to the east coast, near the large point of Manehattan. “Equestria”.

The human repeated my gesture thoughtfully. Then he circled his finger around himself.

“Yes!” I nodded happily, glad that we had at least moved from dead center. “Yes! This is the country and city where you and I are!”

Yev’eni hunched over. He propped his chin on his hand. I felt my magic fizzle out and landed the book on the armrest.

Suddenly Yev’eni jumped up. The atlas fell to the floor, opening in the middle, on a map of Canterlot and the surrounding villages.

I recoiled.

What did I say? Did I say something offensive to him?

Yev’eni looked at me.

He said something incomprehensible, but in a soothing tone. I exhaled.

The human, not paying any more attention to me, disappeared into the hallway. His footsteps came from the bathroom.

What is he doing?

I carefully peeked out from behind the door.

Yev’eni, not paying much attention to me, hypnotized the bathtub with his gaze. He stuck his paw in, apparently checking the water.

What is he doing? Is he going to bathe again?

The man glanced sideways at me, said something. He threw off the towel, really climbed into the bathtub and stretched out on its bottom, immersing himself completely.

Well, almost immersed. His head sank in, but his legs, with his height, remained sticking out on top.

Hmm. Didn't that memo from the princess say that humans are a waterfowl species?

Maybe he has underwater breathing magic, like hippogriffs?

I waited a minute, then another. The man clearly wasn't going to surface.

He wasn't going to drown, was he?

I timidly approached the bathtub.

"Don't do that!!!" my common sense screamed. I carefully, ready to jump back at any moment, delicately patted Yev'eni on the shoulder.

He sat down on the bottom, snorting and shaking himself like a bunyip.

Is this some kind of human custom of taking a bath? Or what?

I mentally kicked myself in the forehead with my hoof. Of course.

If my bathtub suddenly worked as an interdimensional teleport, it would be logical to try to teleport back the same way.

I looked at the bathtub with apprehension. It seemed like no one had ever cast any spells on it, especially such powerful ones.

Now what? Every time I get into the shower, I have to be on guard so I don’t end up in some neighboring universe?

Oh my gosh!

And all that’s left is to sympathize with the human (no matter how dangerous a monster he is!) who suffered this fate.

“You can’t get home?” I asked quietly.

The human looked at me with crazy eyes. He wrapped himself in a towel again, climbing onto the edge of the bathtub.

He burst into wild, insane laughter, covering his face with his paws.

I didn’t even notice how I jumped out of the bathtub and leaned hard against the wall of the corridor.

Holy Celestia… has he really gone completely mad?

Key. Key. Keyhole. Press, carefully turn… what the hay! It’s falling off! Again. Again. Come on, open up, come on!

I was so focused on the telekinesis of the key that I managed to blink at the appearance of a stranger nearby.

And I turned my head only after hearing the apologetic tone.

Jerked to the side.

However, the flash of madness that had seized Yev’eni seemed to have died down. He was looking at the lock with the key sticking out of it with interest. He must have never seen such complex mechanisms before. He looked at me and said something.

Am I judging him too harshly? If I suddenly found myself among a foreign people, not knowing their language, not knowing how to get home... Yes, Faust knows, anypony would lost his marbles.

Meanwhile, Yev’eni managed to get the key and was looking at it with interest. He turned to me again.

He threw out a few words, made a gesture as if he was writing on his palm.

Write? Does he need a pencil and paper?

What, that’s an idea. We can use pictures to explain incomprehensible things to each other. Celestia, how come I didn’t think of that myself?

I moved towards the studio, trying to remember where my favorite pencil set was after my recent sketches. I turned around – the guest was following me.

It’s not very easy to concentrate a telekinetic field in the dark, so I fumbled with the switch with my hoof. The lamp lit up – equipped with an expensive enchanted crystal filter to imitate daylight.

I glanced at the easel with shelves, the nightstand. Ah, here’s my notebook for rough notes, I wouldn’t mind using it for scribbling…

I glanced sideways at Yev’eni.

He froze right in the middle of the studio.

And he looked at my canvas without taking his eyes off.

My muzzle blushed.

I still can’t get used to it… It’s been twelve years since I got my cutie mark, and every time I still feel awkward when ponies look at my paintings like that.

Okay, I know a thing or two about it. Drawing is my special talent, I must admit. But I don’t do anything that another pony couldn’t do if given a brush, paints, and three years of training. I just draw what I start to see two months out of the year, so that other ponies can see it.

The human spoke, and there was admiration in his voice.

I felt the blush creeping down my fur, somewhere around my ears.

“Do you like it?” I muttered. “It’s just a sketch. I called it ‘Winter Evening’, although that’s just a working title. I specialize in winter landscapes, which is why I have a cutie mark like that. Look,” I turned slightly so that the drawing on my side became more visible.

Yev’eni glanced at the mark, puzzled. He shrugged. It dawned on me that an alien from another world might not know what our cutie marks are and what role they play in our lives.

He picked up a pencil from the shelf. Gestured that he wanted to break it.

Thank Celestia – it wasn’t one of my priceless slate pencils, but a simple graphite lead! So I nodded silently, watching the human manipulations with surprise.

Having torn off a sheet of paper from the notebook, the human wrapped the broken piece of graphite in it. He placed a paperweight on top and pressed it well.

He moved back into the corridor.

What is he doing? I rushed after him with curiosity. Which temporarily pushed the fear of the otherworldly monster out the door.

I still didn’t understand what Yev’eni did. He leaned over the lock so that his back blocked my view. There was a faint noise.

The human moved back into the workshop. He put the dirty piece of paper back in its place. Began to look at my canvases with curiosity.

He paused. His flat face showed excitement and joy. He pointed at the “Holiday Tree” and said something.

“Sorry, I don’t understand you,” I responded. “Do you like the painting? I’m waiting for Hearth’s Warming Day to put it up for sale. They always sell better in the months before the holidays. But if you want, take it for yourself, if you like it so much.”

Yev’eni only rubbed his muzzle helplessly.

Road apples! We definitely need to come up with something to understand each other!

Yev’eni worked on the lock again. He carefully pressed something, and a click was heard.

And the door obediently opened, revealing a view of the landing, illuminated by an old firefly lamp.

The alien pointed at it with a satisfied expression and said something.

Had he... fix my lock?

He began to study with interest the completely unremarkable stairwell, which should have been swept clean of dust and cobwebs long ago.

Is he going to go outside?

By Celestia... The first pony who sees him will call the guards!

Of course, that will solve all the problems.

Actually, I should do it myself...

But...

But...

A camp for humans near Ponyville. Operated under the personal management of the Princess of Friendship and her sinister ex-villian apprentice. A place where all humans are sent, except for those few who have been granted personal permission by Twilight to live in Equestria.

A place about which terrible rumors circulate. A lifelong earthly version of Tartarus.

Yev'eni hasn't done anything bad to me yet.

He doesn't seem as dangerous as the stories about humans said...

On the contrary - he selflessly and in a friendly way helped me with the lock. Praised my paintings.

Maybe the stories about the cruelty and ferocity of humans... are exaggerated?

Should I let him go outside - and go to prison? Even before he has done anything bad?

Or am I wrong, and have no right to expose other ponies to danger? Although...

I bit my lip.

Ah, let it go to Tartarus by Discord!

I touched the human's shoulder.

“Yev'eni. Wait.”

He looked at me puzzled, muttered something.

How can I make him understand the problem?

Drawings, you fool pony! Your own idea!

I didn't even notice how I rushed to the workshop and returned with a notebook.

I began to sketch the image on the paper with quick movements. Drawing of a man behind prison bars.