Tear In My Heart

by KTCO-Official

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Violence, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Romance, Suicide / Self Harm
Length: 1565

Winter Shot has been through a lot, mentally and physically, and after a failed attempt at taking his own life, how would those around him feel, especially his marefriend Eclipsa Von Neuschwanstein.

After a failed attempt at taking his own life, Winter Shot spends most of his days in his room, unable to move. How would those around him react to the news? Would they be glad he's alive? Angry he attempted? How would Eclipsa feel? All she knows is that his attempt has greatly changed her perception of life itself.

Published 2024-05-13 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-07-20 15:30:14 UTC

Level Of Concern

Lights. That's all Winter could see as he opened his eyes. He didn't even know where he was. Heaven? Hell? Some in-between? Winter tried to speak but the words got caught in his throat. Mumbles. He heard mumbles around him, voices blending together in a horrifying cacophony of whispers. Blinking a few more times, he looked around, noticing he was in a hospital bed, the forms of ponies around him slowly taking shape. He could recognize his brother's voice, Stray Shot, ringing out amongst the other low-lying vibrations in the room.

"What the fuck happened to my brother! Why's he like this!"

His violent outburst, coupled with his southern drawl, painted a picture in Winter's head, reminding him of his childhood, hearing his mother screaming much the same whenever Winter or Stray did something stupid. Was what he did really stupid, though? He saw his own death as an escape, an escape for himself and... and some form of escape for those around him as well. Escape from him. Wetness. He felt some wetness forming on his hoof, something he didn't expect. He weakly looked over, seeing the vague purple-bluish lump of hair burying itself into him. He recognized this as his marefriend, Eclipsa Von Neuschwanstein. Was she... crying? Why? He once again went to speak but couldn't, the ball of words unable to find freedom. His brother's voice continued to ring out.

"What?! He did what?! No! Winter's a dumbass but he isn't stupid enough to do that! Suicide..... He.... He wouldn't!"

Winter mentally sighs. He knew there was no positive way out of this. He was a screw up through and through. He couldn't even kill himself right. He just closes his eyes again, clenching them tight as if this was all just a nightmare he was trying to awake from. He felt a sharp pain in his side, where Eclipsa was. He turns his head, and is face to face with the personification of anger. Eclipsa was staring him dead in the eyes. She yelled out, causing everyone else in the room to immediately quiet themselves.

"YOU IDIOT! WINTER SNOWFIELD SHOT YOU DENSE SELFISH IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US.... TO ME!"

He had no words, even if he could talk. He didn't expect her to react like this. Hell, in all honesty he was under the impression that Eclipsa never really saw him as much more than a lapdog. Sure, they've spent countless hours together, long nights talking, days training, spending weeks under the shining moon just the two of them. He's poured his heart and soul into their relationship... but he never felt Eclipsa gave a shit about that. Sure, it seemed she enjoyed having somepony to talk to, but it didn't matter if it was him specifically. She continues to scream.

"DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT THIS WOULDN'T AFFECT US?! DO YOU THINK I'D BE JUST FINE AFTER THIS!"

She hits him again, tears swelling in her eyes. Ponies start to leave the room, eventually leaving the two of them alone. Winter tries to speak again, but physically can't. Eclipsa's cries die down and she just starts to sob, resting her head on his shoulder. The sobs were guttural, like something he had never heard her make before.

"D-Do you really think... I could lose the pony I love and.... and NOT live my life like normal...."

Love. That wasn't a word that he ever heard her say to him. Love. That was new, he couldn't grasp it. It was foreign, yet familiar. He's heard her say the word before, usually in context of food, or places. He remembers one of their first missions together. Northern Juniper, a small location outside of the Crystal Empire. The two of them stayed up for hours, just watching the horizon for anything suspicious. That's where she laid her head on his for the first time, spending hours just laughing at jokes they'd crack, or talking about the food the locals had made for them. "I love this!" He remembers her saying, and it took everything in his power to prevent himself from saying the cheesy "I love you." right then and there.

"Winter I.... I'm sorry I didn't.... talk to you more, I'm sorry if this is my fault... you always told me you don't love yourself and.... I never told you how I felt.... about how I... I'll love you enough for the both of us..."

These words hung in the air, a pregnant pause of silence overtaking the beeps of the medical equipment nearby. Did.... Did she really mean it? No, this must be... must be an illusion, a false moment right before death. Eclipsa wouldn't talk to him like this, it was out of character for her.

"I'm..... sorry..."

She continued to cry out, getting louder with each passing second. Her tears stained against his face as she leaned in and planted a small kiss on his lips, the first genuine kiss he had ever received from her. Tears formed in his eyes as he went to yell out, yelling out that it's not her fault and that.... that he loved her too, but.... once again words failed. He watched as she slowly stood up, and made her way out the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. How long would he be here? How long would he be conscious enough to take in the info around him. Was he in a coma? Was he dead? What was happening. The door closes behind Eclipsa, cementing the fact he was alone right now. He decided to close his eyes, and to just simply rest. Gods know he'd need it. His eyes close, casting his vision to darkness, as he slowly drifted away to sleep, a slumber that'd last for the rest of the day.

Winter awakens in his own bed, in the apartment he shares with Eclipsa and his best friend Permafrost, when he's in town at least. Still alone, though he could hear Eclipsa's voice from the shared common room that each bedroom opens up to. He manages to squeak out something soft, a small noise. Eclipsa's voice stopped, and something hit the floor, something small, like a Comm device. The sound of Eclipsa rushing in filled his ears, and he looks over, and notices her. She isn't wearing her usual red jacket she wears around the house, no, instead she was wearing one of his hoodies, stained with tears and what appeared to be chocolate ice cream.

"Winter!"

Author's Note

Heyo! New Story in the Wiclipsa ship collection, updates will be slow, but steady!

Doubt

Permafrost was away from home while everything went down. The blue unicorn was sitting in a cart, being transported to a frozen throne up north to "talk" to a group of bandits that had been harassing locals. His transceiver began to ring out, the noise echoing over the snowy plains. With a sigh, he answers it, expecting it to be one of his moms to pry about the mission.

"Mom, I told you the mission is going fine."

The voice that answered back, on the other hand, wasn't that of his mother, instead it was the voice of his close friend and colleague: Eclipsa Von Neuschwanstein. The voice sounded panicked, the occasional sniffle escaping as she wailed. She wasn't one to show emotion like this. Permafrost had only seen her cry on two occasions, once when she learned her favorite band cancelled their tour, and once when her role model, and more importantly boss, had chastised her for accidentally hitting a civilian when taking out a target. This had to have been something big. He listened in, trying to make sense of her babble.

"Permafrost he tried to kill himself! He took a bunch of his anxiety meds and.... and then... then used a knife and.... and....."

"Woah, woah, Eclipsa calm down, who tried to kill himself? Keep calm."

He asked the question, hoping for an answer different than the one he knew she was gonna say. Was Winter really that stupid? Not only does he have a duty as a member of the Knights Of The Celestial Order, he was an Ensign Marshal.... and more importantly, he was loved. Sure, Eclipsa had a funny way of showing it... and sure Ensign Marshal Justician Armore constantly berated him.... was hard on him... and.... well there was plenty of reasons why he would do it, now that Perma thought about it.

"Winter! Winter tried to kill himself! He tried to... leave... us... leave ME!"

Another sigh from Permafrost. He was probably the only one who knew how much Eclipsa cared about him. He needed to get back to town and see them.

"Eclipsa, just calm down, is he alive? Is he in the hospital?"

"H-He-*sniffle* He's in his room now, they let me take him ho-"

Her voice cut out, and it sounded like the device dropped to the floor. Permafrost waited for a second, and called out to her, only to hear a muffled sound of Eclipsa yelling out Winter's name. What was going on? Another sigh breaks from his lips as he looks over the snowy field around him, he needed to get this mission over with so he could rush back home.

Author's Note

After a while, the story continues!