Derpy Being Derpy

by Luna Plays Minecraft

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Discord, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Main 6
Length: 2299

Derpy loves muffins, so she builds a muffin castle, but Discord destroys it. Derpy vs. Discord

Derpy loves muffins. She feels they deserve better than to be eaten. She thinks they must be used to build a castle and then be eaten, but when Derpy finishes the castle, Discord rears his big ugly head in and destroys it. Derpy must now go on a pointless quest that does not make her any progress on finding discord to avenge the muffins made to build the castle. Will Derpy succeed? Will Discord take over Equestria? Lets find out.

Published 2012-10-10 14:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-23 21:38:27 UTC

Part 2

Derpy was hungry. She had set off on her quest right away, without thinking of bringing any supplies. Foolish? yes, but she have to avenge her muffins right away.

She took a sip from a nearby pond and continued walking. she didn't even know where she was going. She only knew she was going somewhere. Derpy started to see things that weren't there. Muffins to be exact. She hadn't had a muffin in so long!(A whole five minutes!)

"Please, oh great and powerful muffin gods, give me just one muffin so I don't starve on my quest!" Derpy pleaded to the muffin gods. And sure enough, one giant muffin fell from the sky. Derpy got so excited that she crashed into a tree. "Mean tree. why would you do that???" How is this the tree's fault?

Meanwhile in Discord Land...

"That pony is doomed. Who forgets to pack supplies when going on a long pointless quest?" Discord said, dumbfounded by Derpy's stupidity. "Oh well it doesn't matter. I have got a lot of chaos to catch up on." He said. Discord made a cotton candy cloud appear, and it began raining chocolate milk. he magically made a cup appear and he filled it with chocolate milk, only to drink the cup and throw the chocolate milk away......? "Watch out Celly and Luna, In a few days your lovely little land of Equestria is going to fall apart, and there's nothing you can do to stop it!" He laughed hysterically and disappeared.

Back in Derpy World

After running into several trees and one time walking off a cliff into a lake because she was staring at a butterfly, Derpy was hurting. It was getting late and she was tired, but that's when she realized something. Derpy looked at her wings.

"I can use these!" She said. Derpy launched herself skyward, and began looking for a place to take shelter.

Not too far away was the city of Manehatten. In the city there were big buildings with signs that read:

Big Nice Free Hotel

And

FREE Place To Stay Fro The Cold Night Absolutely FREE

"Now why would I stay there when I can sleep in that cold dark scary forest over there?" Derpy asked herself, and headed to the forest. She could hear scary creatures but Derpy, being Derpy, just thought they were friendly little bunny rabbits. So she frolicked through the forest and plopped down in some ferns. She was starving by now, having already eaten her giant muffin, and did NOT eat it sparingly, and she didn't know where to get food. And that's when she saw it. A big, bright, colorful sign that had two words on it. Derpy was confused. What do these signs mean. She tried to sound out the words. "E-A-T....... GRA-ASSS. Hmmmm. It must mean to make the grass into muffins! Why didn't I think of that earlier???" So she took some grass and shaped it into a muffin, and swallowed it whole. "Delic-ious." She said while still trying to swallow the grass.

Something rustled in the bushes. "Who's there?" Derpy asked. She peeked through the bushes and came face-to-face with a big, mean, manticore!

End Of Part 2

Part 3

Canterlot was on fire. Where ever you were, you could see the flames, but they weren't normal flames, no, they were pink. with sweet smelling smoke. The city was in chaos. And there was only one to blame. Discord.

Back In Derpy World

Derpy was staring into the eyes of a manticore. It was a large monster, with the body of a lion, tail of a scorpion, and wings of a dragon. The beast roared in Derpy's face, getting spit all over her.

"What the heck man? I am just standing here minding my own business, and you rear your big ugly in and roar at me and get your slobber and my face!!!! Apologies right now!" Derpy went off on the manticore.

"sorry..." it muttered and walked away. Derpy was proud of herself. She had faced a beast that could have ripped her face off, and sent it packing! she curled up in her bed of ferns, and went to sleep.

In Canterlot...

"Everypony needs to evacuate the city!" Princess Celestia announced. The fire was spreading, and water only seemed to make it bigger. Celestia and Luna had needed to leave the castle, for it soon became engulfed in the pink flames. Of course the two sisters already knew who caused this. The one who made the terrible pink flames. It was Discord. At first they didn't think he would do this, but Discord payed them a visit. He wanted revenge, and what better way than to destroy everything and everyone that the sisters loved.

Discords work was done in Canterlot. Everything had been turned to ash, and now he had a new target. Where six mares turned him to stone for a second time. Ponyville. Oh yes, Discord had plans for Ponyville, the chaos capitol, and this time, he would not fail.

Of course when Derpy woke up and heard that Canterlot was burned to the ground by a mysterious pink flame she new it was discords doing. So she new where she had to go. Ponyville.

"THE MUFFINS SHALL BE AVENGED!" She hollered, and set off for Ponyville.

End Of Part 3

Part 5: Boss Battle!

Derpy had only bought herself time. She needed a plan. But how could she defeat discord? That is when she thought of it.

"This is going to be fun." Derpy said to herself.

Discord

Discord was having an amazing day. First he made half the houses in Ponyville float in the sky, then he ruined Lyra's day, and then he made Derpy sad. It was absolutely amazing. Equestria was in chaos and Celestia and Luna were too busy to do anything about it. He was about to turn all the apples in Sweet Apple Acres into lollipops when he heard someone shout.

"Hey Discord! Its time to eat muffin!" Derpy screeched. Before Discord could react, he was assaulted with muffins from Derpy's muffin gun. Discord hit the ground with a thud.

"AHHHHHHG stop it! I- OUCH! THAT WAS A ROCK NOT A MUFFIN! AHHHG!" Discord cried. Derpy smiled as she continued to blast him with muffins and the occasional rock.

Discord lied there and just kept taking it for an hour, until Derpy ran out of muffin ammo.

"Admit defeat Discord!" Derpy said, grinning.

"Alright alright just don't shoot me anymore!" Discord pleaded.

"Okay, I wont shoot you, Discord." She told him.

"Seriously?"

"Yup, on one condition..."

Equestria was as back to normal as it ever would be, and Celestia and Luna were in control again. They even managed to get the mane six back.

"Ugh, Derpy, how long do I have to do this? If I have to make another balloon for another dumb foal i'm gonna-" Discord whined before Derpy pointed her gun at him.

"One more crack like that and you'll be eating muffin!" Derpy told discord, who was dressed as a clown, making balloons for little fillies and colts.

"Cheer up Discord, I'm sure me and Tia could have chosen a much better punishment for thy crimes." Princess Luna told him. "And I would like a pony shaped balloon please." Luna requested. Discord let out a groan and gave her a balloon. Celestia laughed.

"Don't worry, tomorrow I will have Twilight and her friends turn you back to stone, so you wont be able to cause any more chaos." Celestia told him.

"Awwww Celly why must you always ruin the fun?" Discord asked her.

"Because it may be fun for you, but not for other ponies." Celestia said.

"Lies! I make it fun for everyone. I share the fun, and sharing is caring, Celly." He said smartly.

"Now who's the liar? Do you think it was fun for the BonBon when her house was in the sky??!!" Celestia yelled.

"Of course it was, she had so much fun getting up there." He said.

"Why, I outta-"

"Silence! You are both acting like foals! Discord, go stand over there, Celestia, you go over there." Luna broke up the argument. "Now, what do you have to say for yourselves?" Luna asked them.

"He/She started it!" Celestia and Discord said at the same time.

"I don't care who started it! You are both in time out for ten minutes." The princess of the night scolded.

"Time out? TIME OUT? TO THE MOON WITH YOU LUNA!" Celestia yelled and sent Luna to the moon. She then straitened up. "I will not be made a fool of." Celestia said, leaving a very confused pony and draconequuis behind her.

Part 1

There are many words that describe Derpy. She can be crazy. She can be odd. She can be downright weird! But there is a word that we had to add to the dictionary to describe her. Muffin-loving.

Ever since Derpy was a little filly, she has had a love for muffins. It didnt matter if they were frosted, fruity, sweet, sour, or even salty, she loved them.

So one day Derpy was raiding the Canterlot bakery for all of its muffins, and she thought to herself,

"Muffins are sooooooo amazing! They deserve better than being eaten! THEY DESERVE TO BE MADE INTO A GIANT CASTLE AND THEN BE EATEN!" And to prove that fact, she requested that when this story was written that when she said that it was to be capitalized. And so it was.

Derpy took the last of the muffins, and ran off into the night pulling off an epic escape before stopping in her tracks to look at a butterfly.

The next day, Derpy used every muffin (With the exception of the ones she ate as a snack) to build the biggest, most awesome, 20% cooler than all the ones that were never made, muffin castle. But because there were no other muffin castles ever made it was only a few feet high. She took a moment to admire her work before suddenly, the ground started to shake and an evil discord appeared! he chuckled and kicked the muffin castle over.

"Noooooooo! The muffin castle! DISCORD I'M GONNA DESTROY YOU!" Derpy yelled. A magic muffin wand appeared in Derpy's hooves, and she charged discord. He simply teleported out of sight before she reached him.

"Foolish pony. You cant hurt me. Perhaps when I take over equestria i'll spare your life." Discord said, chuckling.

"Discord! I'll destroy you! I WILL AVENGE MY MUFFINS! You sir, are a dead pon- your not a pony.... You sir, are a dead thing!" Derpy yelled, and set off on her quest to destroy discord.

END OF PART ONE

Part 4

Discord stood in the Ponyville town square. The new chaos capital was turning out nicely. The roads were turned to soap and bubbles, it changed from day to night every ten seconds, and it was raining chocolate milk. As for the mane six, they were all lost in an alternate universe with no chance of getting back. Yup, Discord was living the dream in Ponyville. There was just one thing he had forgotten. He had put it in the back of his mind. Derpy. He forgot about the mare who's muffin castle he had destroyed. Discord thought about it.

"I can deal with the pony now to make sure there is no threat.....But that is too logical," He thought out loud. "Eh, it will be fine. I'll just do what all the other people trying to take over Equestria did and forget about it, just to have it backfire and I get defeated." Discord decided that was a great idea and went off to make more chaos.

Derpy's Point of View

The journey back to Ponyville was long and hard. It took longer than it should have because she went in a tiny circle for a week. But she managed to make it back to Ponyville, just to find it in total chaos. But the worst part was, the thing that was nearest and dearest to her heart, was gone.

"Nooooooooo! No! No! No! No! Not the muffin shop!!!! Discord, this has become way more personal than it already was!" Derpy shouted. "Discord I am going to KILL you! ya hear me? I'LL KILL YOU!" Derpy fell to the ground and started sobbing out of grief. Those poor muffins in the muffin shop. They were just sitting there, being delicious, and Discord just came along and was all like, "Oooooooh i'm so gonna make these poor defenseless little muffins disappear!" and that's what he did. Derpy couldn't bear to think about it. IT HURT TOO MUCH! Thats when Derpy noticed someone behind her. She slowly turned around, and there was Discord with a big grin on his face.

"I must say, Derpy, that was a pathetic display you put on just now. I should have thought of a bad pun but sadly I didn't." Discord said.

"Y-your a monster!" Derpy choked out.

"If i'm a monster, what does that make you? A muffin addict who has a serious problem?" Discord asked her.

"N-n-no! That's not true! Jus-" She broke into a sob, and galloped away. The Draconequus laughed uncontrollably at Derpy's display. As Derpy was running, a wide grin formed on her face. Trolled by Derpy.

End Of Part 4

Authors Notes

Derpy Being Derpy
By DerpyMuffin
All images belong to their rightful owners
Inspired by this picture:
Now for a series of images I found on google that are relevant to the story :D
http://static.fjcdn.com/large/pictures/8c/24/8c2447_3541986.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qIfxM4iw7H0/TnfFyhqpvjI/AAAAAAAAMjY/wDvcbhPbpPI/s1600/discord_vs_derpy.jpg
I DONT OWN ANY OF THOSE PICTURES I JUST THOUGHT THEY WERE FUNNY