“Oh. My. Goooooooooosh! Nonny, Nonny! Look!”
“Hm?”
You glace up from the assortment of produce organized on the stall before you as your wife, Pinkie Pie, excitedly taps on your shoulder. Following her gaze, you see a stall on the opposite end of the market. An older stallion happily converses with a mare carrying a foal, proudly showing off an assortment of lava lamps.
“Can we get one?! Pleeeeeeeeeease?!”
“...No.”
With an emotionless expression, you turn back to the stall and begin picking out various vegetables for the next few days. All the while, Pinkie whines behind you.
“B-but, Nonny!”
“Hm?”
“Just look at it!”
“Pinkie Pie. Darling. Sugar. Love of my life.” After being handed a plastic bag filled with your freshly purchased produce, you turn around and cup Pinkie’s cheeks in your hands. “We’ve been through this before. We have fourteen at home already.”
“Am I not allowed to want another?” she asks as she looks at you with pleading eyes. Her pouty face is adorable, but you’ve been in this position before. Numerous times as a matter of fact. “Don’t you love me?”
“Of course I love you. But, like it or not, we have to consider our finances. We can’t afford another.”
“B-but it’s just one more!”
“And the last time you said that, we ended up with three. So you’ll have to excuse me for not believing you this time.”
The two of you turn away from the market, shopping bags in hand/hoof. You yawn as you leisurely make your way down the dirt road while Pinkie happily skips beside you. Although her movements are as energetic as ever, her face is still pouting. Her puffed up cheeks are absolutely adorable, but you will not fall for her tricks! Not this time!
“I’m just saying, I think one more would really liven things up around the house!”
“Is our house not lively enough as it is? You were already a bundle of energy, but now?!”
“H-hey, I thought you loved that about me!”
“I do, but I just don’t understand how you haven’t slowed down even a little yet.”
“Don’t underestimate a party pony, Nonny. We’ll rock your world,” she giggles as she gives you a wink.
“Trust me,” you sigh. “I am well aware of that.”
Finally, just as the sun begins to set over the horizon, the two of you make it to your front door. You fiddle around for the keys a bit before hearing the door creak open. A glance is all you need to see that Pinkie used the tip of her mane to unlock it for you. Somehow.
Man you love that mare.
While you used to breathe a sigh of relief whenever you entered your house, it’s much different nowadays. Thanks in no small part to Pinkie’s insistence, you’ll likely never get such solace again.
“Hi, Maud!”
“Hello, Pinkie Pie. Hello, Anon.”
“Hiya, Maud.”
You give your sister-in-law a halfhearted wave as you place the grocery bags down on the kitchen counter. Pinkie practically throws herself at Maud, wrapping her arms around her in a massive bear hug that fails to phase her even a little.
Then, as you take a deep breath, you realize that something is off. It’s quiet. It’s very quiet.
This house is never quiet.
“Maud?”
“Yes?”
“Why is it so quiet?”
“I tried giving them a crash course on the role that sediment plays on our ecosystem, but they all fell asleep before I could finish.”
“Maud. You. Are. A genius!” Pinkie squeezes her sister even tighter, and you promptly try to shush her as you walk into the living room. “I have GOT to try that!”
Sure enough, your sister-in-law-turned-foalsitter was telling the truth. Spread across the living room on the sofa, various chairs, the floor, and even in your recliner are many young ponies, from newborns to elementary-school-aged colts and fillies.
Fourteen of them, as a matter of fact.
The eldest is, of course, Taffy, followed by her sister Licorice. Then comes the older pair of twins, M&M (Macaron and Macaroon). They’re followed closely by Wonka. There’s a slight gap before reaching Anon Jr., and after him is Pinkie Pie Sr. (her mother insisted on her name, and you chose not to question it). After her is the next pair of twins, Mike and Ike. Little Pez is after them, followed by Megatron. Finally, the most recent addition to the family are the three little fillies sleeping soundly on top of each other, PB&J. Which, of course, stand for Peanut, Butter, and Jeremiah.
What a family.
“Maud, can you talk some sense into my incredibly attractive yet annoyingly stubborn husband?”
“I don’t believe sense can be imparted through words.”
“Tell him that I can have just one more. Pleeeeeease?”
“Pinkie Pie, having a child is a big decision to make. It is important that you make it together.”
“I know that, but I want him to be on my siiiiide.”
“I’m sorry, but this doesn’t concern me.” After blinking a single time, Maud pulls away from her sister and walks right out the front door. “But I wouldn’t be opposed to foalsitting a fifteenth if it came to that.”
As the door suddenly closes with a surprising lack of noise, the distinct sound of crying rings out through the living room.
“Ooooh, Jeremiah!”
Her motherly instincts immediately kicking in, Pinkie Pie makes a beeline for the small cushion that Jeremiah and his sisters were sleeping on. It takes her no time to begin feeding them, promptly causing the crying to stop. Unfortunately, your son’s vocalized hunger was more than enough to wake up all of his siblings. While some wake up gracefully, others are more excitable.
“Mom and Dad are home!”
“Mom, Mom! You need to see what Taffy did earlier!”
“Hi, Daddy!”
Although you had been feeling a growing sense of dread deep in your chest, all of that seems to evaporate the moment you hear the voices of your children. A gentle smile spreads across your face as you glance up at Pinkie, who looks back at you with a smile of her own.
Maybe one more wouldn’t be so bad.
“Nonny?”
“Hm?” you ask as you glance up from your morning coffee.
“The doctor said I’m having quintuplets this time.”
“What?!”
“Hehe… oops?”
Author's Note
She really likes being a mom.
