And then there was Robotbob...

by Exorcist Sword

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other
Length: 1223

Should we really ask for stories about ourselves? Some take that request very seriously.

"I never get my own fanfics..."

Should we really ask for stories about ourselves? Some take that request very seriously.

Published 2012-10-10 16:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-10 16:00:01 UTC

Chapter 1

The young colt trudged through the relentless scheduled downpour of the week. Thunder rumbled in deep, foreboding tones, almost as if pegasi were bowling on the other side. With no home to call his own, the colt took shelter in an alley, making full use of the overhanging thatched roof of the stores. Cold and wet, he lay down on the remains of a bale of hay, thrown out by those with enough money to not miss it. His eyes began to close.

The colt was awoken a few hours later to the sounds of shouting, most of it directed at him. His trespassing was not tolerated by the well-to-do owners of the store, and the police had been called. In a panic, the young colt struck out with his hooves, rendering the owners screaming, the first from an abused shin, and the other from the first's abused shin. The colt ran, knocking over abandoned stands and garbage pails to deter any pursuit.

Nearing a river, he jumped to grab a hanging branch and swing himself across like Daring Do! Unfortunately for the boy, branches break in real life. Momentum carried him forward and into the embankment, his legs breaking and his spine snapping horribly. He floated, unable to move in the tumultuous water. His sight began to fade, and he knew nothing...

*Hurry Spike, his pulse is weakening!
... No, we don't have time to take him to the hospital! He won't last that long!
We have to get him to my laboratory!*

The colt awoke to a dry and woody smelling room. He glanced around, taking in his surroundings. Beakers and testtubes... Consciousness slapped the child like a drunk dad and he instantly began to look for the exit. However, it was all in vain, as he had straps around his le-

"MY LEGS!!! WHERE ARE MY LEGS!!!" he bellowed, noticing that where his legs used to be now existed four robotic fakes!

"Oh, you're awake,' said a pleasant voice. Whipping his head around to see it's source, the colt beheld a light purple unicorn with a starburst as her cutie mark. "Yes, your legs...Well, uh, you see, when you tried your 'escape swing" earlier and you hit the edge of the river, your bones were shattered. As were your tendons. Your spine took some damage, too. But it's ok, because I was near when you tried it and Spike, he's a baby dragon, rescued you from the water and I made you some new legs! The old ones..."

"It's fine," the colt interrupted, looking over his new appendages, "these are cooler than my old ones." He lifted the leg, noticing a bright button. Using his other arm, he pressed it, and a compartment opened on his hoof. Popping out like an old VHS, a small, sleek glass rectangle appeared.

"What is this?"

"Oh, that's the new iPhone but with a few of my own personal modifications. Enchanted to be indestructible and more aerodynamic than the average phone," Twilight boasted, pleased with her work.

"And you're just giving this to me?" the colt inquired.

"Well, when I bought mine, there was a deal to get a second free. Spike is too irresponsible for it and my friends already have phones. It was just going to gather dust with me. My only condition is that you have to give me the number so I can talk to you more often."

The colt touched the surface a few times and read the digits to her. Twilight input the number into her own phone and asked "What should I put as the name?"

The colt became pensive. He glanced at himself and wondered if he was the same pony that slept on a pile of rotting hay the day before. His gaze fell on a mirror, which displayed him and his new metallic limbs in full glory. He smiled and said, "Call me Bob, RobotBob."

Chapter 2

The Robolegs are undeniably superior to any four limbs under Celestia's sun.

Once equipped, a pony could jump onto and off of rooftops without fear of injury, run effortlessly to any destination without tiring, and even break through solid stone should the need arise. However, for all of their advantages, the Robolegs had one unavoidable fault.

They were not real.

This fact became well known to Robotbob very shortly after leaving Twilight's library, as his new appendages managed to attract the notice of everypony that passed by as he walked. Some shrank away in terror at the young cyborg. Others grew excited, rapidly approaching him but stopping half way, as if judging the power level of the cybernetic colt. At one point, Robotbob's right hoof vibrated, signalling an incoming call from Twilight. At the ejection of the cell, the crowd gave a collective shriek of terror and dispersed.

Robotbob sighed. These legs are supposed to make my life easier, he thought.

"My life..."

"I didn't think about that. What am I going to do now?" the colt asked himself, his face scrunched in thought. He let out a breath in resignation. "Pfft, now... Like I did anything before the accident. I was just a gutter rat that prayed he would find an apple core in the next trashcan. And who would hire me now anyway? That crowd scattered like I was going to explode or something!"

His yells echoed in the deserted street.

"I mean, this is better than drowning in a river but why did Twilight Sparkle have to give me these...these...metal freak legs!"
Rearing up in frustration, he stomped hard onto the pavement, causing cracks to spread from the twin impacts. Robotbob seethed, air snorting out of his nostrils and teethed gritted tight. Gazing back at him from the store window… was his reflection. After a minute, he calmed down and let out another sigh.

"What's done is done...Only thing I can do now is roll with it." He stood up tall, legs together royal guard style. He sized up his reflection, taking in its every detail. His eyes became serious and he spoke with authority, "Ok, Private Cybersoldier RobotBob. What is the next mission objective?"

From the window, the reflection held up its right roboleg in a salute. "Sir, to find monetary opportunity, sir!"

"And how are we to accomplish this objective, soldier?" demanded Commanding Officer RobotBob.

"Sir, I don't know yet, sir!"

C.O. RobotBob shook his head in disgust, passing in front of his one colt military unit. " I am DISAPPOINTED in you, maggot! You call yourself a Cybersoldier! If I was you, I would just run off and join the circus where I belong!"

Before Private Robotbob could answer, CO RobotBob snapped back into lucidity. What was that last part? A circus? The thought had come unbidden, springing into his mind before he realized what he was saying. But it was...perfect! The perfect place for a pony like him!

He wasted no time in running to the town hall, scaring the life out of the receptionist filing her hooves. He walked out, a paper in his mouth, with a destination in mind to start his new life

Twilight picked up her ringing iPhone, happily allowing the ecstatic colt to tell her all about his new job as “Bob the Robotic Wonder-Clown” for the rest of the evening.