"What's this button for?"

by IGIBAB

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 2205

"Hang on, why are my thoughts in the short description?"

"Wait wait wait! Why am I in the long description as well!? What happened!? What happened when I pressed that button!? I can't tell because the story hasn't started yet! AAAAH! JUST START IT ALREADY!
Oh hey there's Twilight in it? Cool!"

"What is that line supposed to mean?
Hold on, let me check the groups. Ooooh, I see, it's for a contest. Woaw, I like that effect on text. I wish I could do that more when I talk. You know, like, you talk and people can click your words to know more about what you mean. You could even do that in the middle of conversation. That'd be great."

Published 2024-06-14 13:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-14 13:20:00 UTC

This is about to be way too meta

"Oh... Oh no."

"What?"

"Uuuh, nothing, nothing. Keep on... reading that book."

"Hm... Wait, where is it?"

"Where is what?"

"My book! I can't see it!"

"Oh, uh... I-It's nothing. Probably..."

"Pinkie...!"

"Don't look at me! I didn't take it!"

"Then who did?"

"It's... huh... Oh look, there it is!"

"Where?"

"There! Look at where I'm pointing!"

"I don't see you poin- Oh, my bad. You're right, it's there, on the shelf."

"Yeah... the shelf, sure..."

"How did it even get here...?"

"I don't know but, uh... I'm gonna have to leave, okay?"

"Didn't you want to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah, but I-I remembered I had important stuff to do before that."

"Hm... Alright. If you need to talk, you know where to find me."

"Yes, in your library. The library of Twilight, the library specially made for Twilight, Twilight's library."

"Are you okay...?"

"Yes, yes! I'm just gonna... walk out the door aaand... see what happens."

"Alright, I'm good? I'm good. Ok, so apparently just outright saying I'm leaving is enough? But what the fudge is going on!? Why is the narration gone!? Is it what the button does!? Why was it lying in Twilight's library!? Not only that, but it just vanished afterwards! What do I do now, I can't see anything without the narration! And Twilight's book moved as well, is that because of it? Do objects not stay in place if there's nothing stopping them?"

"Hey Pinkie!"

"AAAAH! Who's there!?"

"Huu, it's me?"

"Who's me!?"

"Rainbow Dash...? Are you alright?"

"No I-Er, yes I am, sorry."

"Sooo... What are you doing here?"

"Nothing, just... talking to myself. You?"

"Eeeh, not much. I was just looking for someone to watch my NEW SICK MOVES!"

"Oh, well-"

"Yeah, crazy I know, how do I always come up with new ideas, right?"

"No, I w-"

"But that's just how I am. In all modesty. Being a Wonderbolt requires so much creativity."

"Maybe, b-"

"Here, watch this!"

"Watch what?"

"..."

"... She's already gone, isn't she?"

"Up here! Do you see me!?"

"Erm. Yes, Rainbow, I can see you!"

"Alright, then tell me what you think of that!"

"... She won't hear me if I don't use an exclamation point, right?"

"And that was just the beginning!"

"Yeah, she doesn't hear me..."

"And now for the best part!"

"Wow... This is... way less impressive without descriptions."

"And finally...!"

"Poor Rainbow, I wish I could see it. She really seems to have put a lot of work into this one. Well, at least things are happening quickly since they're not happening."

"Whew! What do you think of that!?"

"It was amazing, Dashie!"

"I know, and I've barely trained! Guess I'm that talented, huh?"

"I guess you truly are! But... I'm gonna have to leave, sorry."

"Huh? Why?"

"Important... party stuff."

"... Okay...?"

"See you!"

"See ya, Pinkie."

"Okay, there's a line, I'm safe. But I have no idea where I am now."

"Oh please, I know I've re-branded the place, but still. You should be able to recognize it."

"... Rarity?"

"Yes, darling?"

"...What am I doing in your boutique?"

"I don't know, you just entered here while I was sewing. Honestly, I should be asking this question, shouldn't I?"

"Probably."

"While you're here, why don't you tell me what you think of my new collection? I must say, I think I surpassed myself this time and-"

"Huuh, sorry Rarity, but not now."

"Well, I- Why not?"

"I... think I should go. No, I have to go."

"Are you sure? Then why did you come here!?"

"I made a mistake. But I'll be back, don't worry. See you!"

"Safe? Safe. Oh, I should have specified a landing location."

"..."

"Oh, hi Gummy! Sorry, but I need to go find Twilight."

"..."

"Don't you go anywhere! I'll be back soon!"

"..."

"I LOVE YOU!"

"Who's Gummy?"

"Back at Twilight's place! Just in front of the door! I should have just talked to her anyway from the start. Wait, since there's no narration and the story is focused on me, does everyone stop existing when they're not here!? Objects can move and all. Do ponies even exist if they don't talk!? Quick, I need to find out!"

"..."

"Right, I need to say that I enter by the door."

"Why would you need to say that? You're already inside."

"AAAH! Twilight!?"

"What now?"

"I... Uh... I need to tell you something."

"Go ahead."

"And you might not be happy about it."

"You know I won't judge you."

"Because it's something really really weird that I didn't do on purpose but now it's here and I'm not even sure you'll be able to understand it or even fix it – or should I say that the other way around? – but I don't know who to talk to for that and I'm afraid the world might never be the same, or at least within the confine of this story a-"

"Pinkie! I'm very busy trying to read a book here, so tell me what's wrong!"

"I turned off the narration!"

"You what!?"

"I'm sorry! There was this big red button and I pressed it and the story started and now there's no narration and I can't see anything but I can teleport and I-"

"Wait wait wait, Pinkie, hold on! You know we are in a story!?"

"Of course I-Wait, you do? I thought I was the only one! How do you know!?"

"I inferred it after I became an alicorn, when seeing the non-hillneighrtian way our space behaved, coupled with the topological continuity of magic in our supposedly discrete space. The only logical explanation was for us to be a projection from another universe, a story. How do you know?"

"I... I don't know honestly, I just do! Since forever! I see the cameras, the scripts, the lines, the people watching us. I just see them all, all the time. Wait, you're an alicorn!? I thought this was taking place before season three!"

"I think we have more important matters on our hooves right now. You said the narration was turned off? Are we in a book?"

"Yes. Uuurh it's so annoying to have to say yes when I could simply nod!"

"Sweet Celestia, this is like a dream!"

"Uh, pardon?"

"We're in a book, Pinkie! A book! The most exciting item of all! Lines and lines of text, trapped in the softness of paper a-"

"I'm going to stop you right there Twilight, I don't think this story is printed in a book. More like a magical deposit for stories that people can check from anywhere in the world."

"Oh. Oh..."

"Sorry. It's still a written story, you know?"

"Yes, I suppose... Either way, what effects did you observe? Is the narration being turned off that bad, aside from an unbelievably weird story?"

"Objects can teleport, I can teleport, and I can't see anything."

"Objects can teleport?"

"Yes. For example, your book is not in front of you anymore."

"I doub-where is it!?"

"On your head."

"Tha-How did it get here!?"

"There's no narration, Twilight! Everything I say is just happening! Look: We're not in your library anymore, we're in Canterlot."

"I-Holly, how do you do that?"

"I just have to say it. And now we're on the beach."

"Dear Luna..."

"But I can't see any of it! I don't even know if you're in front of me or somewhere else! And things happen even when I don't say them, the world is out of control! There's not even chocolate rain to make up for it! Oh, hold on, I could just say it then."

"I suggest you don't, Pinkie. But yes, all of this is concerning."

"We have to do something about it!"

"Yes. And I know exactly what to do."

"Then do it!"

"Alright, Pinkie, this is going to be important. Listen to me."

"Yes, tell me!"

"You have to say what I'm about to say."

"I'm ready. If it fixes everything, I'll trust you."

"Say that I never forgot to bring one of my books back to the Canterlot library in time."

"... Really Twilight?"

"Please say it!"

"No!"

"Come on! You just have to say it, please! It's the only thing I need to keep my perfect record!"

"I can't change the past Twilight, you should know that better than anyone!"

"Tch."

"Could you please be serious?"

"Serious? Are you sure this is still Pinkie Pie speaking?"

"Yes! And I'm serious because I can't even see my friends, I can't hear any party poppers, nor taste any cake! The world is just dialogues!"

"Fine, fine. I get it, it's no laughing matter. Could you bring us back to my library?"

"We're already in your library, Twilight."

"... I should have asked for the Golden Oak Library... Erm. So, we're in a story and there's no narration."

"Yes."

"What's the point of the story? Did you see the plot or anything?"

"I... Uh... I'm not sure. The title is about the button I pressed, so..."

"So that's the whole purpose of the story. Being without narration."

"I guess? Wait, does that mean I had no choice but to press the button? If I didn't, the story wouldn't even exist in the first place, but the story does exist, so, from the start, I had to press that button? Are we really free?"

"Don't go down that route, Pinkie. I've tried it in the past and it's never pretty. Just, accept things as they are."

"Hold on, I got an idea!"

"Go on?"

"I never pressed the button!"

"..."

"..."

"Is the narration back?"

"No! Aouch!"

"Don't hit your head like that, it won't help. Why don't you press it again?"

"It wasn't there anymore. Oh wait, there it is! Let me try."

"..."

"Nope."

"It's a bit weird to see you do stuff like that. From my point of view, you didn't press anything.I guess you’re the only one that can see that part of the fabric of our own universe."

"It's even weirder when you don't really feel it, Twilight."

"I guess. Next one, have you tried to think?"

"Huh?"

"Internal monologue can be a dialogue. Maybe we'll learn something if you try."

"Twilight, what do you think it looks like in my head?"

"... Right."

"Why don't you try to think?"

"I'm thinking right now. Can you see it?"

"I can't read it, no. You have to put it in the story."

"... How do I do that?"

"Think in italic."

"I... Okay. I'll try, even if that doesn't make sense. Like this?"

"No, you have to be outside of quotation marks."

"I... Okay here goes."

"No quotations."

"I know!"

Sorry, I meant: I know!

"Yay, you did it!"

Wait, you can still read me?

"Of course, I'm seeing the world in text right now, remember?"

... Then what's the point!?

"I don't know, that was your idea. Hey, I can read your mind now!"

"No you can't!"

I hope she can't. Otherwise she'll know about her birthday gift we-WHY AM THINKING ABOUT IT!?

"AAAAAH! Spoilers, Twilight!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

How do you turn this off?

"I don't know, I don't have a cheat code to turn thinking off. And please, Twilight, stop thinking after you've talked, it's getting difficult to know who's talking."

"This is getting out of hooves. We need to find a solution."

"We need to find a magical button to turn the narration back on again."

"No, I have a better idea. If we're in a story with just dialogues, then if we stop speaking, the story should end, right?"

"I guess? I mean, otherwise it'll get boring."

"Great, let's do that then."

"Okie dokie!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Stop not-talking, Twilight! You're ruining everything!"

"What do you want me to do then!? It's been minutes and nothing changed! The story isn't gone, right?"

"It's not. And the narration isn't back."

"This won't work, we have to find something else."

"And, I mean, the gimmick is getting pretty old now, especially for a story featured in a contest."

"Wait, what did you say!?"

"What?"

"It's featured in a contest?"

"Yeah, where the goal is to only write dialogues."

"So narration won't be back, no matter what we do, otherwise this will break the contest's rules."

"So?"

"I don't think there's much we can do. Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"When is the deadline?"

"I think in less than two days?"

"Perfect! If we include spell-check and editing, it means we can just stall until the deadline!"

"Stall?"

"Precisely, Pinkie! Just, do nothing! Wait until the deadline!"

"... That's evil."

"So is cutting you off from all narration. Using our lives for their mere entertainment. I'm sure other authors aren't as cruel as the one that put you through all this."

"Woaw, that's harsh, Twilight."

"I know. Now, we stall."

"How do we do that?"

"Just say that two days passed."

"Ooooh, clever! Alright, let me just clear my throat and: Two days go by and the deadline looms, forcing this story to an end."

Author's Note

"Ha! Nailed it!"