Spike the little dragon was dutifully cleaning Ponyville Castle. For such an empty building, it sure got dirty. Spike does not mind, though; cleaning was a hobby for them. A skill and eye for cleanliness they took great pride in. They often found themselves humming little tunes they made up to pass the time, never bored, just introspective. One such tune they hummed today was a song that they could see being played with a flute and cowbell.
Midway through the internal song workshopping, Spike was interrupted by a loud groan from down the hall. One week ago, a groan in this hallway would be troubling. This was the loneliest part of the castle after all, nestled far away from the library and map room. However, the castle's newest resident took her bed in halfway, and that groan was a good indicator of how she was settling in.
Spike, now wearing a look of concern for their new roomie, decided to make their way to her door. In the half a minute Spike took to clear the distance, they heard crying coming from the door. They wondered if they should get Twilight; this was her student after all.
“That could take an hour,” they mumbled to themselves. “She needs someone now.”
Reassured with themselves, the young dragon knocked on the door. A cacophony of whispered, muffled expletives was the initial response as the mare composed herself and opened the door with her magic. Starlight Glimmer looked a mess; her bangs were unkempt, and her coat was unbrushed. She did her best to fake a smile, and it could have fooled most ponies. However, this dragon had seen this enough between the six mares she considered family.
"Oh, Spike, what can I do for you?” Starlight said, trying to keep her voice, but the wavering was still there.
Spike, for their part, kept a casual and calm tone and demeanor: “Uhh, nothing aside from telling me if you are okay or not.”
“Why wouldn’t I be? I am the student of a princess, receiving no jail time for her crimes, and living in a castle! What could possibly be wrong?” Starlight said it with faked enthusiasm to mask her growing sorrow.
Spike just gave Starlight a look, not judging her but letting her know they heard her without saying as much. Starlight held the smile for a few more seconds before she sighed and her face fell. Spike seized the moment and said, “You know I am here to listen; we can make tea.”
Starlight stepped back into her room, and Spike followed as she said, “That's the thing; there is nothing to spill. I just got hit with a wave of, Yuck.”
“Yuck?”
“Just a wave of a bad feeling; I can't place it, but it’s like every bad emotion rolled into one.” Starlight lay in her bed, and Spike took a seat at her desk while they listened. “I just keep living my life, and these bad feelings happen, and pile all that up with the massive waves of guilt and bad memories. I just feel bad.”
“How did you deal with your yuck before everything?” Spike asked, scanning Starlight’s room for a few specific objects.
“I used to make kites or write. I try to do those things again, but I just... Starlight trailed off.
“Just?” Spike asked, nudging her verbally.
“I tied all my hobbies to ponies I cared about. I based characters in my stories on my friend. I made kites for my partners. DD, Double Diamond, was my proofreader. Party Favor would help me make kite designs. Sugar Belle, well, we dated for years. They followed me; they trusted me. They even listened to my ideology when that rolled around; they were founding members of my... “ She trailed off again, and Spike finished her statement.
“Your cult.”
Those words hit Starlight like a brick. Spike regretted saying them when Starlight started to quietly sob. They took a deep breath and said, in an attempt to pull Starlight back in, “So you did nothing wrong?” Spike knew that Starlight had indeed done something wrong; they just needed her attention.
She stopped crying and looked over at the Androgynous Dragon. “Did you not hear about how I pulled everyone I loved into a cult?!”
“I did, but you had to have a reason, so what was it?” Spike said it like they were asking why you chose pancakes over waffles; their tone was casual and calm.
“I thought I knew what was best for them. I loved them and wanted what was best for them. I was so wrong, though; I knew nothing.” Starlight said he was just defeated.
Spike let the silence reign for a second before saying, “When I was younger, maybe twelve, Twilight and I had just moved to Ponyville. I thought I was just a bother to her, and when I was thirteen, it got worse when I thought I was useless. My good deed in the Crystal Empire was a fluke. I just felt yucky.” They looked over to Starlight and said, “Twilight looked at me with pity; I was just so tired all the time. I thought I needed to leave, that me leaving would be best for everyone.”
Spike stayed silent for a second, their claws shaking ever so slightly.
Starlight wanted to speak up, but Spike did first. “I may not fully get your position, but I get thinking you are doing something out of love but causing pain. I tried to take myself out of the picture. I thought it would make lives easier, but I saw the pain in Twilight when I was in that hospital bed.”
‘Spike..” Starlight said, but lost her voice.
“Like I said, I don't get your situation fully, but I can understand parts of it.” Spike said it with a few tears.
Starlight smiled slightly and looked at the purple dragon. “I just want, well.”
“A blank slate?” Spike offered?
“Yeah… that.” Starlight responded as she saw Spike walk to her bedroom door, “Where are you going?
“You need a haircut, new you, and all that; let's go.” Spike said, ushering her on.
As they walked to Spike’s bathroom with the brush he found in her room, Starlight had a few questions for her new friend.
“So you told me your story, but what helped you with your new slate?” She asked, looking at them.
“I took it and made it my journey; I called it cleaning up. I really enjoy cleaning, so I tied getting better to my love for cleaning.”
She smiled at that, now wondering how she would do something like that. She was silent for a while, then said, “Let's form an alliance." Spike, you help me, and I’ll help you. If that’s alright with you, I don't want to put more pressure on you.”
They laughed at that and smiled. “I am 14 and have seen world-ending events every few months; someone I can relate to is no biggie; United we stand and all that.”
So the allies, laughing like siblings, started to talk about other things, mostly life in general. The comfort of someone to confide in eased the awkward tension, and together they carved a new slate for Starlight.
Author's Note
I wrote this in an hour and know it is not my best work, however this is an important story to me so I wanted to share. Life can be hard and it is easy to fuck everything up, but don't give up. You can clean up.
