Chapter. 1 "No matter how hard I close my eyes..."
The swishing of liquid filled the soothingly silent air of an even more silent room: Inside of which sat a small blue unicorn mare, crowned with a radiant white mane: She was sat silently upon a stool, swirling a small glass of bourbon in the air. Her magic flaming around the glass, radiating a pinkish glow through the room with a dull hum. The light did great to bring out the blandness of the walls surrounding her, but did little work to do justice on elaborating the mare's features.
The mare's face looked as dead as the room that engulfed her: her eyes slightly bloodshot and bolstering deep purple bags, presumably from a lack of sleep. Ever so softly, she let out a deep sigh of frustration before lonesomely speaking out into the silence around her "Trixie... just isn't really feeling it tonight..." before carefully putting down the glass on a nearby counter top.
The mare carefully rose up and moved towards a nearby coat rack where she grabbed a purple cloak and hat, she meticulously affixed each of them to her body before suddenly stopping. She slowly stepped towards a gold plated mirror that inhabited a nearby wall. Bringing herself up to it, she gazed into her reflection: her expression being more apathetic than anything else. She let out a deep breath before suddenly adapting a smile and striking a confident pose, commanding out "The Great and Powerful Trixie! Would like to welcome you to her show"! Standing in place for a moment, Trixie loosened her face back to a look of tiredness, and resolved "Perhaps Trixie needs to add more... greatness- to her opening".
She continued trying different poses and variations of her introduction, but eventually gave up- instead making her way back to the counter with a stressful sigh. She once more grabbed the glass with her magic, floating it towards her muzzle, before taking a generous portion of it, and placing it back down. She shuddered slightly, before sitting back down in her chair, and resting her head in her hooves. Moments passed as Trixie sat there resting her head in the silence.
Suddenly there came a noise, seemingly as an act of spite towards the room's ever-silent nature; the sound of hoofsteps began pittering just outside the room before all at once they stopped at its door. In blatant disregard of the peaceful silence, an aggressive slamming came from the door, followed by an passive-aggressive voice yelling out "Trixie, you're on in five"!
Trixie immediately shot up, shouting out in a slightly groggy voice "It's 'The Great and Powerful Trixie', To you"!
The voice from beyond the door cried back sarcastically "Oh no... I'm so sorry, oh great one..." before scoffing and continuing past the door, audibly mumbling the entire way.
Trixie looked back down towards the counter, putting her hooves to the sides of her head, and ruffling her hair whilst simultaneously letting out a growl in frustration. She pushed the chair away from the counter, climbing back to her hooves before stepping her way infront of the golden mirror. She began rambling to herself "ponies just don't understand how Great and Powerful and amazing The Great and Powerful Trixie is. They'd be completely helpless without Trixie. They are lucky! Lucky that The Great and Powerful Trixie is so forgiving"! She hastefully floated over a makeup box, before clicking it open and pulling out various tubes, pallettes, a couple brushes, and a single sponge. Trixie prepared her makeup before stepping back, still looking in the mirror: her eyes no longer looked baggy, and her smile looked sharp amongst her face.
Trixie unleashed a devilish smile before shouting out once more to her reflection "Behold! The Great and Powerful Trixie! Prepare to mesmerized by a world of amazement and grandeur"! She continued on holding her smug smile as she then checked for the time; Looking up to a clock that was conveniently planted just above her, she spotted the hands at "7:04". Trixie turned her way towards the exit with a smug laugh of self-assurance. She cantered her way up to the lonesome door; carefully grabbing the handle and pushing it open. On the otherside of which sat a corridor, dimly lit by candles that found themselves distributed evenly on each of the two walls. In contrast to Trixie's démodé room, the hallway's walls were coated in a mix of vibrant reds and yellows, the sight of which was so bright it was almost headache inducing.
Trixie closed the door to her room behind her with a gentle "click" before beginning to stroll down the hallway; confidently holding her muzzle up in an imperialistic manner. Eventually she came upon a single door stationed at the end of the hall. She pushed it open with ease, revealing a room dressed in bright lights and a magnificent red curtain.
She stepped into the room boldly, only stopping a few steps in to deeply appreciate her surroundings.
A stallion slowly approached Trixie before stating "You got twenty seconds, Trixie, break a leg".
Trixie turned to him smugly before responding "Oh don't you worry, The Great and Powerful Trixie! Could never disappoint."
In response, The Stallion spoke with a passive tone, saying "uh huh, whatever you say Trixie" before simply walking away.
Trixie watched The Stallion canter off before turning back around just as the curtains began opening: beyond it, she looked out into a large crowd of ponies sat neatly into a plethora of tables.
Though most of the room was darken to a void: the stage's brilliant lights shone down brightly upon the crowd, easily revealing the ponies in the closest tables. The light did fail to reach into the darker corners of the room, but Trixie just imaged a wondrous crowd of adoring fans just out of sight. She casted a satisfied gaze down towards the ponies below, thinking to herself "This is going to be easier than Trixie thought"!
Trixie stood in front of them, her cape confidently flowing in the wind: though the source of the wind was seemingly unplaceable. Suddenly Trixie lifted her hoof up, raising her cape in front of her face in the process, before yelling out to the audience in a showy voice "The Great and Powerful Trixie commands! that you prepare yourselves to be engrossed in a world! of amazement and grandeur"! She stood for a moment before striking another pose, simultaneously throwing back her cloak, and with it a couple fireworks which she had previously sparked with her magic. As they began to go off around her, the colors from each firework rose up and danced around her; mixing up into the brilliance of her mane and coat, but alas none in the crowd moved in response, save for a single cough. Trixie looked confused for a moment, thinking to herself "Trixie is sure that normally gets them excited..."
She took a deep breath, before continuing on with her show, this time carefully flipping her hat off and having an array of cards fly out into the air above her, each falling slowly: suddenly in one movement Trixie whipped her hat in an orbit motion around her, grabbing each of the cards mid air, then slowly rested it back onto her head without even moving her gaze away from the crowd.
Trixie breathed heavily whilst looking out into the crowd for any reaction, reasoning in her head "now that! Must have got them!" but alas there was no reaction to speak of. She gazed out into the eyes of many straight faced muzzles, apathetically staring back at her. Internally she found herself feeling terror: for the third time this month her tricks weren't getting a reaction. Trixie frantically thought to herself "Had these ponies seen all of Trixie's tricks before...? No they couldn't have, there's one trick..." she stopped for a moment before continuing on in her head "No... they haven't seen all of Trixie's act before, but Trixie doesn't know if she can risk that..."
Trixie felt a heavy pressure hovering over her, as she began wondering "if she didn't do this trick... was she to be considered 'washed up'". Trixie continued looking into the crowd, feeling the deep sudden desire to just walk off the stage: she wanted to run, run far far away from their judgemental eyes. To just get lost in a deep bottle of bourbon or perhaps even a strong moonshine. Her thoughts continued to spiral around her head before coming to a knife like peak of noise.
In the midst of the chaos that filled her mind, a voice rang out. A voice unlike her own, one that seemed to originate from a distant memory that repeated itself rhythmically: Trixie grasped onto it for a moment and in doing so, she found herself infront of a stage seemingly as a small foal. She watched as a blue stallion moved about, just above the stage. She watched as he began shouting out "The brave and daring Jack Pot, will now perform the most dangerous trick he knows!" She watched in awe as he proceeded to walk on what looked to be a tightrope above flames.
She heard the repeated voice once more call out to her, this time clearly. It sounded sweet like honey, and as smooth as fresh silk, presenting itself with a loving tone, cozy as velvet. The voice spoke out from just beside Trixie "Trixie... Trixie... hey Trixie sweetie, look over here".
Trixie watched as her childhood self slowly turned to face an orange mare that sat in a seat right beside her, she could make out a clear description of the mare's body, however her face was a blurry mess: in that moment, no matter how hard Trixie tried, she just couldn't manage to put together the features of the orange mare's face. Though her eyes were unclear, Trixie was certain she was looking down onto her.
The mare continued "Trixie hun, it's all in the confidence. You could completely fail a trick, but as long as you do it confidently, the crowd will still love it".
Trixie watched as in the memory she casted her attention away from the mare and back to the stage. Trixie's filly self watched the blue stallion stepping along the rope eagerly for a moment, before she quickly looked back to The Mare in response to the feeling of a hoof gently patting her head. Trixie looked at the mare as well, she couldn't help but note a warm feeling she began to feel while looking into the mare's ambiguous face.
The Mare lifted her hoof off of Trixie's head before stating in a loving tone "you're getting old enough to begin performing with your mother, but just remember, Trixie, your mother will always love you. No matter how 'powerful' or 'great' you'll end up, I will always... be proud of you." The Mare once more reached her hoof out, this time wrapping Trixie gently into a hug, the last thing heard, being a single cough from The mare.
Trixie watched as the memory froze around her. Trixie felt lost amongst her maze of thoughts: she found herself thinking "Trixie's mother? It's been a long time since she's even thought about her... did Trixie just forget?" Her emotions were beginning to fester, the thought of her long since forgotten mother's support seemed to fuel a fire inside of her. Although through everything she had just saw. She felt herself simultaneously become more and more uncertain in herself: her Mother and Father had been very successful performers, and yet Trixie had never shared the same light. Trixie thought back to her embarrassment over her rivalry with Twilight: how horribly she failed each time, making herself look worse and worse. She began to wonder if the reason the crowd didn't care was because they knew what she did. she let out of slow breath of sadness before everything inside the memory began to shift into a purplish blur.
Suddenly Trixie came back to her present self, standing under the stage's warm lights. Though the sadness remained, in remembering her mother's words, she couldn't help but be filled with a new feeling of conviction. She resolved to atleast try one last thing to save the show: a single trick she swore to never use again after becoming friends with Starlight, due to the sheer danger it provoked.
Trixie braced herself with a "gulp" before shouting out "Behold as the brave and daring 'Trixie' puts her life on the line"! She quickly floated a rope over, hastefully tying it off across two steel beams roughly six yards above the stage's shiny wooden floor, She then floated out a strange starkly black colored mat from just behind the curtain.
Trixie hesitantly floated herself up to the rope, turning in the process in an attempt to hide the obvious strain on her face. She took a moment to catch her breath before quickly tossing a spark to the void colored mat below her; to which it eagerly caught aflame. She watched the fire for a moment in both amusement and terror, quietly whispering to herself "just in case something happens... Trixie is very very... very! sorry Starlight".
Trixie began walking along the rope, she fought with her memory trying to remember exactly how the trick was supposed to go. She could feel herself wobbling, feeling the heat of the flames eating at both her cloak and at her mind: She struggled to even continue placing each step forward, only managing by remembering her mother's words of reassurance: It felt as though she heard her mother speaking directly into her ears "Confidence dear, Confidence! It works wonders on any crowd". Trixie carefully straightened herself up, stabilizing her heavy breathing, and making sure to regain her naturally smug smile: she quietly whispered to herself "Trixie doesn't need to copy exactly, she'll try something new".
As she followed each step, her smile grew wider and wider, eventually she made her way to the middle of the rope. At first her hoofsteps being sheepish in nature, now she found them spry and vigorous. she stopped gracefully in the center, finally stepping two hooves off- one hovering in front of her, and one hanging behind her. Turning to face the crowd, she once more floated her hat off in front of her and from it came a bountiful bouquet of flowers dashed in brilliant Gold, Purple, and Blue hues.
She carefully moved the flowers ahead of her while letting out a devious grin before grabbing them into her hooves. Her confidence practically poured out of her as she placed her hat back onto her head. Her spirit casted a magnificent light, before suddenly in a moment of clumsiness Trixie began to violently wobble back and forth on the rope, eventually reaching a terminal angle in which she fell.
The audience gasped in shock: Trixie who had heard the gasps as she began her fall, let out an even more devious grin as she quickly plummeted towards the ground. When she finally hit the fire coated mat below, a great puff of smoke appeared covering the stage entirely in a mighty haze.
The smoke gradually cleared, along with the scared chattering of the now worried crowd. As the stage slowly became visible the crowd was shocked to see Trixie hadn't met a fiery demise, in fact she was nowhere on the stage at all: The only thing left in her place being the bouquet of flowers now charred an ash black- being completely engulfed by the flames.
The crowd began looking around aimlessly, mumbling to themselves, before suddenly a voice called out from above. "Behold, The Great and Powerful Trixie has survived unscathed"!
The crowd hushed and turned to look up: to their surprise, at some point during Trixie's act another rope had been tied onto the ceiling above the tables and on top of it stood a courageous Trixie, standing proud with her cloak continuing on in the mysterious wind. After seeing Trixie standing above them, the crowd eagerly began clapping and cheering.
Trixie leapt down from the rope to the rope that hung above the stage. She flashed her magic downwards blowing out the flames below her. She then floated herself down from the rope onto the stage once more before turning to face the crowd, and performing a slight bow, shouting out "Thank you, thank you! Trixie knows she is amazing. Trixie hopes you enjoyed the show".
As the curtains In front of her slowly drew closed, she began to struggle to keep her ever-confident composure; thinking back to how close she was to really landing in the fire before she was actually able to gather enough magic to teleport away. She shook slightly imagining how horrible the burns could have been, realizing that on top of that the fall itself could have even been fatal enough to kill: the thought made her heart beat an uncomfortable rhythm. as she stood listening to the sound of the roaring crowd die down, she couldn't help but shake slightly. She slowly removed her hat and examined it, at the peak of which was a egregious black mark, burned deep into the hat's flesh.
Trixie's mind began to imagine herself burning in the flames, she could almost feel the heat encompassing her- the idea bringing upon her a feeling of immense psychological suffocation. With each second of the future that hadn't been berating her inside her own mind she was becoming overwhelmed with a nauseating dread, that provoked a churning sickness deep in her stomach.
Trixie precariously turned back towards the stage's exit door, but was instantly greeted by The Stallion from earlier asking "How did you manage to do that"?
Trixie, who was shocked, not even knowing he was there, let out a quick "Waaah!" before quickly clearing her throat and swiftly moving her hat to the top of her head in an effort to hide the paining burn mark. She forced herself to smile towards him before boasting "a good magician never reveals her tricks- Trixie is simply just that 'Great' and 'Powerful'".
The stallion continued "well, whatever you did, that was amazing- and by the way, your pay is in the upstairs office".
Trixie half-nodded towards the stallion, still consciously trying to hide the hat's burn and her still shaking body. She carefully walked to and through the stage's exit door, avoiding The Stallion's gaze to the best of her ability.
Stepping through the exit door, she gently closed it behind her, before stumbling a couple torturous steps foward into the previous hallway. She fought desperately to contain herself, but couldn't help leaning upon the wall- looking down at her now violently shaking hooves; Trixie tried to slowly breathe, but could feel her ability to stand waning even more. now truly noticing how bad her panicking really was, she instead decided to rush back to her room before anypony saw her current weak and feeble condition. She knew the one thing, that could make her feel better. She quickly stomped her way down what felt like hours of only hallway, before she eventually made it to her room's dark colored door.
Trixie immediately swung the door open with a gracious slam before quickly running to the counter, grabbing the bottle of Bourbon and pouring it into her glass from earlier: In her state of anxiety, she managed to spill nearly half of the remaining bottle onto the counter itself. She quickly began chugging from the glass spilling even more bourbon onto her face and floor, before pulling the glass away and gasping for air- and coughing violently, choking on the bourbon's burn.
Seeking nothing more than to contain herself, Trixie laid her head against the counter, her hooves ruffling her hair. between her shaking breaths she began whispering to herself "Stupid stupid stupid. Why did you think that was a good idea? What if you got hurt? What would Starlight do if something had happened? It's different now..." She paused before looking up from her resting spot speaking out loud to herself "Trixie will never do a trick that reckless again. I don't know how Jackpot could have ever done anything like that..." she stopped for a moment, surprised by the feeling of a single tear drop falling from her face: the existence of which seemed to provide a revelation of some kind, Trixie whispered sadly "nevermind, it's obvious how he could stomach doing that horrible trick...".
She looked down at the counter once more, noticing what looked to be even more tears falling: she silenced herself with a deep breath before softly wiping away any remaining tear drops. She laughed slightly whilst rolling her eyes, she couldn't help but mock herself, whispering in irritation "how pathetic...! The Great and Powerful Trixie! Is once more! A joke... even to herself...".
Moments passed and Trixie eventually found her way back to her hooves. after minutes of fighting to collect herself, she eventually contained herself just enough to once more begin her journey into the desolate hallway. She began to walk out of the room but stopped briefly next to the door; tossing her blackend hat onto the coat rack and saying coldly "Trixie cannot let anypony know about that- she'll visit one of Starlight's friend's clothes or whatever stores tomorrow".
Trixie stepped out into the hallway, looking both ways before heading in the opposite direction of the stage door. She walked passed a couple dozen rooms for various different performers, though most of them were closed: she made note of how quiet it was in the barren hallway, save for her own hoofsteps on the carpeted floor and the distant sound of wind. It was peculiar to hear this place so quiet, Trixie couldn't think of a single day since she started coming here where it wasn't bustling with the humdrum of a plethora of eager young performers, not yet broken- practicing their next shows in excitement.
As she rounded the far edge of the hallway she saw a door: she slowly stepped to it, twisting the knob with her magic and giving little thought as she stepped in.
Trixie found herself inside the building's mane lobby. The lobby itself was a larger room with a couple doors placed around and two copycat staircases in the back corners.
Trixie slowly walked to the closer of the two staircases, slowly making her way up to the second floor. At this point her mind had almost completely forgotten about her prior mixed emotions- albeit with the help of some generous alcohol application, but now her mind was deeply focused on the idea of how much pay she would get for a show like that. She eagerly made her way to the top of the stairs, bringing herself into another hallway. The hallway was dressed in diverse shades of black and grey, with a single door fixated at the end of it, and a long window the length of the hallway giving a generous viewing of the mane lobby. She walked down towards the door confidently, eagerly pressing it open with her magic. Trixie stepped inside the room charismaticly, hardly even caring to watch her half-hazard steps.
The room she stepped into was a sparsely decorated office, at the center of which was a desk with a dimmly illuminated stallion sitting at it. Trixie prepared herself to speak, but just as she began to open her mouth, she was hit in the chest by something heavy as a brick; knocking the wind out of her chest with a loud "Ack!", and consequently knocking her down as well. She slowly got ahold of herself before looking to see what she had been hit by: she was surprised to see a bag full of bits sprawled across the floor.
Trixie looked curiously towards the stallion, who was now watching down upon her with two cold eyes, before demanding "what the hell did you do that for"‽
The stallion rolled his eyes before spinning his chair around, turning his back to her and responding with a frustrated breath "Does it matter? Just get out of here already".
Trixie grumbled to herself before grabbing the bits with her magic, and carefully counting them. She immediately looked back up to the stallion in disgust before shouting out "What the hell‽ You promised Trixie atleast three-hundred bits"!
The stallion turned to look back at her before letting out a frustrated growl "Oh please, Trixie, you know that show was second rate!" He took a deep frustrated breath before continuing a little more calm "I had really hoped your... "recent endeavors" in Ponyville had made you atleast a little bit smarter and on top of that... did you really think I wouldn't notice you parodying Jackpot? Think just for a second, Trixie, I made his career, he wouldn't have been anything without me"!
Trixie's face shifted into pure rage before shouting back "Trixie doesn't need this from you! She is the greatest an-" before she was cut off by the stallion once more
"And most powerful- Yeah yeah, Trixie, heard it all before, but atleast the other 'magicians' actually had skills to back up their talk. Take a good look at yourself Trixie: you're the laughing stock of Equestria." The stallion chuckled for a moment before continuing "with your reputation, you're lucky I even gave you a chance- let alone a passing glance, I mean- you can't even use real magic"!
Trixie began to speak but stopped: she thought to herself for a moment, genuinely thinking over what the stallion said "He... he is right, Trixie... Trixie should have done better. With no magic skills I guess... she really might be second rate... maybe... maybe I should just go back to Canterlot." She quietly grabbed her bits before leaving the room with her eyes casted towards the floor: As she walked out the room, she closed the door behind her with a generous "slam!"
She sautered her way back to the mane lobby, going through various different insults she's heard over the years in her head: she couldn't help but wonder if everypony had always hated her... or if this was a recent development. Slowly Trixie made her way back towards the building's front door.
As Trixie pushed it opened she couldn't help but stop- letting the city's lunar air gently cascade her pale blue coat with its cold touch, it was more akin to a welcoming touch of death firmly planted in a graveyard- the graveyard in this case being the town, which held an eerie silence that in that moment, Trixie paid very little mind to.
Now fully letting the door close behind her, she only took a moment to encapsulate the beauty of the night before all at once her emotions consumed her, letting out a frustrated scream she couldn't help but to finally give into her feelings. She could feel tears billowing from her now burning eyes. She threw herself down onto the empty sidewalk's footing for a moment. She continued crying, truly contemplating to herself "If magic is over for me, then now what do I do? Who am I without all of this? Why do I have to go through all of this... am I the only pony who got screwed over by her cutiemark...?"
In the midst of her pondering and screaming, she took a swift look into the sky, which quickly changed from "taking a look" to "taking a longing glance towards Luna's Moon". Something about it ate at Trixie, it pulled onto her- reaching towards something deep. "Perhaps another memory" she wondered before it hit her, Trixie remembered running amongst a lunar-lit field as a foal, accompanied by her mother. She remembered looking towards Luna's Moon and tracing the dark spots that made up Princess Luna's face, now looking at Luna's Moon's clear face, with no markings in sight... she couldn't help but take note of how different Luna's moon was- or how much worse things had gotten since then. It had been atleast a decade since her mother had fallen ill with no sign of her father's return. She had always wondered if he never came back because he too was hurting, or if he just didn't care enough... Perhaps the pain of such thoughts was reason enough that Trixie struggled to remember her childhood from back then.
Trixie couldn't help but flench, remembering her mother's final moments inside that hospital room. In fact she began to wonder- "wasn't Trixie's mother the pony who had given her the very same cape and the very same hat she always wore." Trixie reached her hoof out, still half inside the memory of the grassy field- half inside the memory of the hospital. Though her outstretched hoof met very little than an empty street, in Trixie's mind she was reaching out to her mother's blurry face- wanting to gently embrace it one final time... she wanted to shout out to her one final time as well "Should Trixie just stop before she goes too far? Has Trixie already gone too far...? Did Trixie atleast make you proud...?" And yet no matter how hard she wanted to speak- she just didn't... in her heart she knew there'd be no answer... despite the guidance she desperately needed, there was nopony that could give it... fore they were already gone.
In that moment Trixie felt an immense weakness overcome her: her hoof fell to her side, the memory began to fade, and Trixie looked back up at the moon before quietly whispering "I've made my way around, but Trixie doesn't think she's really changed. Even after all this time Trixie still loves you and misses you..." she thought for a moment longer, seemingly cringing from some sort of pain, before wrapping up her message to her mother "Trixie just wanted... she wanted... I- I wanted to wish you- to wish you... happy- happy mother's day...". After the final words had left her shaking mouth, she couldn't help but begin crying once more: she wondered how long it had truly been since she had last cried- since Trixie's emotions truly bested her, though through everything she wondered if she was even deserving of crying at all, she thought to herself "I mean after all, with all the ponies Trixie's hurt, why should Trixie even get the privilege to cry... when she's hurt so many ponies so much worse."
She slowly wiped away her tears, stating to herself "No. Trixie doesn't deserve to cry. Not after everything she's done..."
Trixie took a deep breath, placing two half-hazard hoofsteps in front of her, before slowly climbing back onto her hooves. Now fully looking around the street, she finally noticed the oddity of the obvious lack of ponies bustling about: Trixie thought audibly to herself "Trixie doesn't think she has ever seen Manehattan this quiet... even at night- Creepy...".
Trixie took a moment to fully take in her "just slightly off" surroundings: each stop sign, empty cart, untenanted building, or vacant streetlight only served to prove how desolate the roads truly were.
Despite all of her head telling her to go back inside, trixie carefully began walking, moving her hooves as lightly as possible in a nervous attempt to not break the silence of the ever-dismaying night- blatantly disregarding her pained screams from earlier that wasn't much in the way of quiet.
There was a dense fog that seemed to set in over the whole town like a blanket of dilapidation, Trixie watched as it danced around her in a flirtatious manner, only revealing to her, the movement of distant shuffling shadows. As it began to set in deeper and deeper, Trixie found she was only barely able to see her way forward.
However quiet her movements might had been- Trixie's deep breaths echoed loudly into the quiet night. Slowly as she stepped she found herself also draped in the shadows of the darkened buildings that surrounded her as well. She listened carefully to her surroundings, finding it haunting how unnatural the silence felt to her: the only sound that did make haste to fill the night was a distant scream- not unlike that of a banshee gracing another victim, In response Trixie's "walking down" turned to a breakneck pace down the blinding street, till she eventually made it to an alleyway, glowing brightly, just off the side of the road.
She turned down the alley with an obvious grimace before briskly rushing down it. She pushed through the alley's dense foggy glow. Aftering making a turn towards the end of the walkway, she eventually made her way to an illuminated door, seemingly brought to life by neon lights- the light radiated the mist around it, blurring anything it shone on, but still even through the fog Trixie could make out a neon sign brightly spelling out "Molt Hops' Corner".
Trixie let out a deep breath of relief when she heard the ponies laughing and chatting from inside. Stepping forward Trixie slowly pressed the door open with a confidently given smile before stepping into the light that drew from it.
Inside Trixie was met with the loud noise of a dozen ponies all speaking at once, though the noise of which was almost deafening; she couldn't help but find it comforting, contrasting heavily with the creepy silence that walked her there. Although in that comfort she was reminded of a nagging loneliness: she watched everypony around her smiling and laughing and couldn't help but think back to her time in ponyville. For a moment she could almost see Starlight smiling at her, alas it was quickly overtaken with the memories of many ponies ridiculing her.
Still half inside the sadness of her own mind, Trixie slowly made her way to the bartender's counter. Stepping to it she stood there staring down upon it's glossy wood surface, she could vaguely see her reflection inside of it: Trixie was sure the reflection was of herself, and yet all she could see in it was a has-been mare on her last leg.
She found herself lost in thought for another moment before she was brought back to reality by a soft punch to her shoulder, accompanied by a tomboyish voice speaking out happily next to her "Trixie Lulamoon! My favorite customer! Gonna actually pay your tab today?"
Trixie looked over to see a pale red mare with a strawberry brown mane tied just behind her head in a pony tail, the mare laughed with a happy smile. Trixie couldn't help but smile back and respond "Hey Hops, actually Trixie is here to pay her tab" she confidently placed the bag of bits onto the counter, to which the mare grabbed it and began to limp her way around to the other side of the counter.
Stepping up to a cash register, Hops carefully pulled a couple dozen bits out the bag, before handing it back to Trixie, and continuing with a joking tone "And let me guess... starting a new tab tonight aren't we?"
Trixie let out a nervous laugh before responding with a smiling "as usual".
Hops couldn't help but laugh as she reached for a clear bottle: she began speaking to Trixie whilst pouring its contents out into a cup "Trixie I tell ya, everypony here wants some fancy concoction, but I love a customer who likes it simple." She laughed heartily for a moment before continuing "now I definitely couldn't take as much straight Vodka as you, but it's definitely admirable." Hops slowly pushed the glass with her one remaining wing towards Trixie.
Trixie smiled soulfully towards Hops before speaking with a proud grin "Nothing wrong with the classics, though maybe one day if Trixie gets enough bits, she'll try one of those fancy drinks" she laughed for a moment.
Hops looked at her with a warm smile before speaking out in a warm tone "Trixie, sweetie, you're family to me. If you just wanted to try one, all you had to do was ask, and I'd give you one of those 'fancy-schmancy' drinks for free hun. You've been supporting my business since I started. And you know it was hell after what happened with the Wonderbolts, you know I still owe you".
Trixie smiled even larger, not commonly did ponies treat her with kindness, but she reasoned "Trixie comes here for a reason, Hops is one of the few friends Trixie actually has." She looked at Hops happily before speaking out "If you wouldn't mind, Trixie would love to try one".
Hops smiled at her before responding "Of course sweetie, after I make this, I do gotta work down the line- lots of orders tonight. I'm really glad to speak to you again after so long though, I'd love to chat more after we close".
Trixie watched as Hops prepared the drink in her usual showy way, and then hopped away with a smile. Trixie watched her whilst deep in thought, she wasn't sure if she'd ever met a pony quite as happy as Hops was: she remembered how Hops was once a wonderbolt a long long time ago.
Hops lost her right wing and the lower portion of one of front legs in a battle against some kind of beasts from the Everfree forest: even after so long, the scars still covered Hops, like that of tattoos that mark a great warriors triumphs.
After her recovery in the Ponyville hospital, The Wonderbolts tried to offer her somekind of "fake wing", but Hops denied them saying "I'd rather wear my scars with pride- rather than shame".
Trixie couldn't help but look at Hops, and admire her unkillable kindness and undeniable spirit... Hops was a warrior, on the battlefield and at home. And yet Trixie whispered to herself, letting her words be drowned out into the loudness "here Trixie is, giving up, when somepony who has been through hell, like Hops has, is still carrying on stronger than ever. Perhaps Trixie was never great or powerful... maybe Trixie was just fooling herself".
Trixie couldn't help but wonder if she was afraid of her limits, she wondered if she ever really had hit her limit. She partook from the fancy drink, before she wondered if she had infact wasted her limited youth chasing a destiny that was never her's.
Trixie was turning Twenty-four this year, and she couldn't help but feel a bitterness on her tongue in light of that: as a foal she believed that she would have been famous all across Equestria by the time she was Twenty-five, and yet there she stood- little more than an afterthought inside a crowd, somepony so forgotten that even now she'd bet that Starlight had forgotten about her.
She took a look around the bar in an effort to distract her mind, yet nothing really stood out until she noticed a mare on a small stage in the corner of the room. Her coat graced with a vibrant pink, her mane and tail a saturated dark red and custard colored yellow: the mare's cutiemark, a single cupcake dashed with sprinkles and crowned with a single cherry topping. The sight of which brought Trixie a hateful gaze towards her very own mark, she thought briefly to herself "Why couldn't Trixie just be normal..." before being distracted once more.
The bar grew quiet, and the lights darkened, now only shining down upon the mare on the stage. Calmly she closed her eyes and began to sing a song seemingly of the soul, though Trixie found it hard to understand the words she spoke, she found their meanings clear upon her soul. The somberness she had felt was wrapped in a soothing lullaby- she could feel her eyes growing heavy as she began to lean her weight against the bar's counter. All at once Trixie noticed how exhausted she really was, she could feel herself giving into the darkness of her eyes- tucked in by the soothing sound of the mare's holy voice. The last thing her eyes truly took in was the sight of the singing mare, brightly wrapped in the stages light.
