Chapters The Doctor and Derpy Play Minecraft
Chapter 1: The Muffin Button
Chapter 1: The Muffin Button
In the world of Minecraft, all was quiet, except for the occasional moo from that awkward cow. The skies were partly covered by blocky clouds and the sun was at its peak. The lake water was still; light would not reflect off its surface, leaving it looking as boring as ever. The silence was eventually broken by what sounded like an revving engine.
The image of a blue police box faded in and out. The image became more solid with each pulse. Eventually, the TARDIS finished materializing. A grey pegasus and a brown earth pony bursted out the front door. The pegasus was clutching the earth pony's neck tightly. Their eyes scanned their surroundings, but they were too confused and dazed to process any of the information.
The pegasus on the left gave a sigh of relief. "I can't believe we're aliv—"
The earth pony gasped suddenly, "Derpy! Don't... breathe."
"Why, Doctor?"
"The air might be toxic." The Doctor struggled to finish the sentence. His lungs were straining from the lack of breathing.
Derpy exhaled the potentially poisonous air sharply and backed slowly into the TARDIS. The Doctor closed the door on his way back into his ship. Inside, alarms and sirens were going off. A few lights were flickering and sparks were spewing from the TARDIS's control panel. The Doctor groaned after seeing that his favorite couch was on fire.
“Alright. Now that we're done crashing, Derpy, I want to ask you one question. What did you do?!” he shouted.
“I-I don’t know! I just pressed this button over here, then the TARDIS started getting all shaky and stuff.” Derpy pointed at an oddly shaped button.
“I thought I told you not to touch anything!” The Doctor facehooved several times.
Derpy stomped her hoof. “Hey! Don’t blame me! Why would you make the button look like a muffin if you knew I couldn't resist their delicious and moist goodness?”
“What?! That button does not look like a muf—" the Doctor took a step towards the button. "Well actually, it kind of does."
“See! I told you! Hmmph.” Derpy crossed her forelegs and turned her head away from the Doctor.
"Remind be to get that button replaced before this happens again." The Doctor poked the button a few times gently without actually pressing it. "I don't even remember this being here. Oh well, small problems aside, let's see where we've landed."
The Doctor examined a few screens attached to the TARDIS’s control panel. “Let’s see now... gas composition... hmm.” He tapped his chin with his hoof. "Seems close enough to Equestria's. Radiation levels, fine. Temperature, fine. Time of day, day. Weather, pleasant. Location...." The Doctor hit the side of the side of the monitor and read it again. "That's odd."
“What’s odd?” Derpy asked.
“This place doesn't seem to be marked anywhere on the map. Nonsense! It’s probably just a bug in the system." The Doctor shut off the monitor. "Let’s open the doors now, shall we?”
“Way ahead of you.” Derpy was already standing by the closed doors of the TARDIS. Upon opening them, ordinary sunlight was beaming against Derpy's now puzzled face. Her eyebrow was raised and she was scratching her head. “By the way, Doctor, this world seems kind of… off.”
The Doctor headed towards the door. “What do you mean by that?”
He stood beside Derpy and looked out the door. Just outside the doors, a pixelated cow was staring straight at the Doctor and Derpy. “Mooooo,” uttered the cow.
“Umm, Hi?" Derpy smiled awkwardly.
The cow blinked. “Moo.” Derpy didn't know what to do so she just stared back. The Doctor returned to the control panel, leaving Derpy alone with the pixelated cow.
The Doctor opened a few metal grates and inspected the internals of the TARDIS. After about a minute, he finished troubleshooting his ship. “I think I may have found our problem.”
“Please tell me now, because this cow is really creepy.”
“Come over here." Derpy trotted over and observed the monitor. The Doctor pointed at a red blip on the screen. “You see this red blip?” Derpy nodded her head. “That red blip represents where we are. Notice how it's inside this little blue sphere." The screen zoomed out, revealing the sphere. "Now, look at this.”
He zoomed out further on the screen; the blue sphere was now just a small speck on the screen. A larger green sphere was revealed. “This sphere is your universe and the walls of this sphere are its edges. The strange thing is that this universe is contained within your universe. That doesn't happen. Usually, every individual universe is parallel to one another. They’re called parallel for a reason; they don’t intersect. But this one.” The Doctor pointed at the smaller sphere, “For whatever reason, is inside this one,” he then pointed to the larger sphere. "You following?"
Derpy nodded with droopy eyes. "Yep."
"The point is, this universe is abstract in comparison to any other universe because it isn't a parallel universe. It’s some kind of… intersecting, universe, thingy. Bah, that’s a shoddy name. I’ll think of something later.” The Doctor turned his attention back to Derpy who was half asleep and drooling slightly. “Derpy?”
She snapped awake instantly. “Huh? Oh yeah, a universe like this is probably unstable and could collapse. If that happened, we'd die."
“You are absolutely right.” The Doctor smiled at her.
“Sooo… we should leave this place.”
“Exactly.”
“Right now.”
“That’s right.”
“Why aren't we doing it?”
“The TARDIS is broken,” he said flatly.
Derpy let out an exasperated breath. “Of course it is. Can you fix it?”
“Yep. Technically she’ll fix herself. That button you pressed used up a lot of energy, enough to tire out the ol’ machine. She just needs to take a break for a while, that’s all.” The Doctor patted the console of the TARDIS.
“How long will that be?” Derpy crossed her front legs.
“Anywhere from a week to a month. Earth time.”
“Oh." Derpy said bluntly. "I remember you once said that it was near impossible to travel between universes. How did we end up here then?”
“Either the walls between the universes are dissolving, or someone spilled soda into the time vortex.”
“Soda?” Derpy inquired.
“Yes, soda. It doesn't sit too well with the time vortex, and if I recall correctly, I may have spilled soda into the time vortex a couple years back. It just took this long to finally do something. Good thing we didn't die! I didn't expect the soda incident to catch up to me this quickly though. The huge energy boost from the button must have acted as a catalyst of some sort.” The Doctor headed back to the door and looked out of it. Derpy followed him. “You know, this universe doesn't seem so bad. We could probably take a look around.”
“Out we go then?” Derpy smiled with excitement. The Doctor nodded his head. The cow’s eyes followed them as they stepped outside the TARDIS. The Doctor took mental notes about how blocky the world was. He approached a tree and looked closely at it, observing the square edges and pixel like features. The Doctor knocked on the tree and listened closely to the sound it made. It sounded just like how any other tree would sound if one had knocked on it.
“Hmm...” He sniffed the tree, then stuck his tongue out.
He started to bring it closer and closer to the tree. “Doctor!” scolded Derpy. The stallion retracted his tongue back into his mouth and turned his attention to his companion. “Were you going to lick the tree?”
“Quiet down, Derpy. This takes concentration.” He brought his tongue back out and started bringing it closer to the tree again. He hesitated for a moment, and then tasted the tree. He recoiled backwards at the repulsive taste. “BLEH! It just tastes like any other tree!” The Doctor spat, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. “Bloody hell, it’s awful!”
Derpy rolled her eyes. “Of course it tastes awful. It’s a tree. What made you think that was a good idea?”
“It’s helped me once before.” The Doctor took a moment to spit again. “And I thought it would help me again.” He spat again at the end of his sentence.
“Riiiight. That reminds me. I kicked somepony once and that helped me. So, according to your logic, I should kick the tree?”
“Well uh,” the Doctor tried to find the right words to say, “I suppose that would mean kicking the tree is—" Derpy stood on her two front legs. "No, Derpy, wait!”
Before the Doctor could stop her, Derpy gave a powerful kick to the tree. There was a dull thud and a small crack formed in the tree.
The Doctor was suddenly intrigued. “Try that again, Derpy. That seemed to have done something.” Derpy gave another powerful buck. With a small thunk noise, the tree block seemed to have shrunk into a much smaller block. It floated in place momentarily before going inside of Derpy.
She shrieked in fear. “Doctor! It’s inside of me. Get it out, get it out, get it out!” Derpy ran aimlessly.
The Doctor’s hearts skipped a beat. “Don’t run, you’ll only make things worse for yourself! Come on, hold still, let me check you out!”
Derpy kept running, and the Doctor struggled to catch up to the panicking pony. Derpy looked back towards her rear, hoping to see the block leave her body. When she turned her head back, she smacked face first into a tree and fell back.
“Ouch, are you alright Derpy?”
She rubbed her forehead. “Owwww. Who put that tree there?” she said wearily.
The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned her body. “There’s nothing inside. I don’t think the block, or whatever it was, actually went inside of you.”
Derpy tilted her head sideways. “You don’t? That’s a relief. I thought maybe I was going to turn into a tree, or it was gonna eat me inside out, or turn me into one of those Dalek thingies you always talk about.”
The Doctor facehoofed. “We should get some rest, the sun is setting.”
“Really? But it was afternoon like ten minutes ago.” Derpy looked up at the orange sky.
“Either way, let’s head back to the TARDIS. I don’t think I’ll trust this place at night.”
The light inside the ship escaped through the open doors, illuminating the area in front of it dimly. Derpy entered the TARDIS first. The Doctor glanced at the outside world once more, then retreated into the safety of the TARDIS. He shut the door behind him, shrouding the surrounding area in darkness once more.
The Doctor and Derpy Play Minecraft
Chapter 2: Early Morning
“Good morning, Doctor!” Derpy shouted in her usual cheery voice.
The Doctor jerked awake. “Ahh! " he shouted. "Oh, it’s just you. Good morning, Derpy.” He yawned. “Hold on, morning? It’s only been ten minutes.”
Derpy nodded her head. “Yeah, but the sun has risen and that means it’s morning.”
The Doctor rolled over onto his hooves then tried to force the hair sticking up on the back of his head back down with his hoof. It worked slightly, but a few stubborn strands remained standing. He stretched out his limbs and walked over to the TARDIS’s monitors.
A grin formed on his face. “Well! This certainly was unexpected.”
“What is it?” Derpy asked.
“The TARDIS is going to be up and running again in an hour or two.” The Doctor circled the control panel of the TARDIS, flipping several switches on his way around it. “And now, we wait.” He sat down in a wide chair.
Derpy’s ears drooped down with disappointment as she closed the door she was peeking out of, and took a seat next to the Doctor. They stared at the green progress bar on the monitor. Three large words above it read: Three Hours Remaining .
Derpy exhaled loudly in boredom. There was little interaction between Derpy and the Doctor for the next ten minutes except for the occasional small talk.
The Doctor shifted into a more comfortable position. Five more minutes passed and Derpy’s misaligned eyes began to droop. The Doctor resorted to playing with his tail for his own amusement.
Derpy stepped off the chair and roamed the TARDIS, examining the different buttons and levers of the control panel, but quickly got bored of it and laid onto her back to stare at the ceiling.
Suddenly, the Doctor jumped off his chair. “That’s it! I can’t do this. Derpy, we’re going back out there.”
Derpy rolled over and sat up like a dog about to get a treat. “Really?!”
“Yep, and I just discovered that I can’t be occupied with nothing for more than twenty minutes.” The Doctor opened the TARDIS doors.
The awkward cow was still standing outside. It seemed to have been staring at the blue box for the past half hour which is about three days relative to the universe they were in, and now, it was looking straight into the Doctor’s eyes. He was slightly unnerved at the deep stare.
“You're really creepy. Did you know that?” he said to the cow before nudging it lightly to the side.
The Doctor observed his surroundings. The silhouette of mountains were in the distance, and before that were small rolling hills. The field he stood was shaded by trees that were spaced evenly apart. The grass under it was generally short but there were occasional patches of tall grass. Flowers of different colors speckled the field.
The brown stallion took a deep breath. “For such a- ” He paused for a moment to find the right word, “For such a blocky world, it really doesn’t look that bad.”
He turned his head to the right. “Right Derpy?” The Doctor scanned the area around him, looking for his companion. “Derpy?”
“She must still be in the TARDIS,” he muttered to himself.
He poked his head back into the TARDIS’s doorway, “Derpy? Oh.” Inside the TARDIS was the awkward cow and Derpy.
"Come on! Get out, now!” screamed Derpy. She was flying around frantically. The cow ran around the TARDIS and Derpy tried to anticipate where it was going to run next so that she could scare it into heading the other direction. It was not going well. Her mane was disheveled and a few of her feathers were scattered on the floor. A few bruises were also covering her body.
The Doctor whistled and got the cow’s attention. “Come on girl. Come on.” He signaled the cow to come over with his hoof. Soon enough, the cow headed towards the Doctor. He stepped out of the way and allowed the cow to leave the TARDIS.
Derpy’s jaw dropped. “How did you. I don’t. What?!”
“Fluttershy taught me a thing or two,” he said smugly.
The defeated Derpy landed softly back on the ground. “Of course she did. You gotta teach me how you did that someday.”
“Noted. Come on, there’s so much to see outside! Oh, and make sure you close the door on your way out. We don’t want that cow wandering back in here.” The pair of them left the TARDIS and Derpy closed the door, as instructed. She took the key from around her neck and locked the door.
They froze because they never considered how large the area was before, but now that they were finally going to start exploring it, they became suddenly overwhelmed. They turned their heads in various directions, trying to figure out which way they should head. South of them was the vast ocean, north of them was the mountains, to the east was desert, and to the west was a snowy landscape.
Derpy headed for the ocean and the Doctor headed towards the mountains. Luckily, they managed to catch their mistake before heading off too far. “This is going to be a bit complicated,” said the Doctor.
“Oh! Oh! I have an idea, let’s flip a rock.”
The Doctor scrutinized Derpy's idea. “A rock?”
Derpy nodded her head. “Yeah, a rock. If it lands on one side, then we go your way. Then if it lands on the other side, we’ll go my way.”
“Sooo. It’s like flipping a coin.”
“Precisely,” replied Derpy.
“Then, why don’t we just flip a coin?”
“Well, do you have a coin? I know I don’t.”
“There aren't any rocks around here also. Just grass and trees.” The Doctor brushed his hoof against the ground.
Derpy inspected the area. The Doctor was right, there weren't any rocks within sight. Derpy exhaled sharply.
“We can just go my way. That’d make things easier.”
Derpy glared at him. "I said fair ," she emphasized.
“Fine, I’ll just find something in the TARDIS to flip. Wait here, I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
The Doctor ran back to his ship, unlocked the door, and walked in. He started searching in a storage bin of his.
“What do we have here.” He picked up the first object he saw in the bin. “Sphere... That's not going to work.” He threw the ball to the side. There was a metallic bang when it hit the floor. He pulled the next object out. “Cube... Why do I even have a cube?” He threw that to the side, making the same metallic bang.
He took several more objects out of the bin. “Sphere.” Toss. “Sphere.” Toss. “Cube.” Toss. “Sphere Why do I have so many spheres?!” He threw it with force at the wall. A high pitched screech was heard followed by what sounded like footsteps.
“What?” He pulled his sonic screwdriver and scanned the area for life. No readings showed up. He passed the noise off as the TARDIS regaining it’s energy back and went back to searching for a flippable object. Three more spheres and cubes later, he pulled the entire drawer out in frustration, dumped all the contents out which consisted only of spheres and cubes, and headed back out to Derpy.
“I found something we can flip.” He dropped the drawer at Derpy’s hooves.
Derpy shrugged her shoulders, “Okay.”
“If it lands bottom side up, we go my way. If it lands on the other side, we go your way. Let’s see what we get.” The Doctor threw the drawer high into the air. It made several rotations before crashing back down onto the floor, breaking into two. The bottom side was on top though.
“Aww,” said Derpy disappointingly.
The Doctor gave a small cheer. “To the mountains!” He noticed Derpy’s subtle frown and instantly felt bad. “If you really want to Derpy, we can go to the ocean instead.”
“It’s alright. You win, fair and square.” Derpy stuck her tongue out at the drawer, then noticed a bit of writing. “Hold on, what’s this label on the drawer?” Derpy got closer to the writing and read it out loud. “Sphere and cube storage. Huh?” She looked at the Doctor.
“That explains a lot .”
They began their little adventure when it was late afternoon. They hadn't actually wasted much time flipping objects, but the day passed faster than they were used to. Sunlight was diminishing and the TARDIS still had about an hour and a half before it was ready. It would be night soon, and the Doctor knew it. He glanced at Derpy who was hopping up and down excitedly.
"Doctor, are you ready yet?"
"Umm." The Doctor weighed the odds. He disregarded his paranoia of the night, and decided not to postpone the trip. "Yeah, let's get going."
Finally, the duo embarked on their journey. They cracked the tree blocks as they passed by them to mark their path. They made sure not to completely break the block, in fear of absorbing the tree like Derpy did the day before, but they cracked it enough to be easily visible in the night.
They were making good progress. The TARDIS was already out of sight when the sun set and The Doctor and Derpy were at the treeline. The moon, which was slowly rising above the horizon, illuminated the mountainside.
When they were maybe a hundred yards from the base of the mountain, something whizzed between the travelers’ heads, making them duck instinctively. The object that almost hit them was now stuck in the ground in front of them. It vibrated for a moment then settled down.
The Doctor and Derpy examined the object.
“That’s...” The Doctor started.
“An arrow! ” Derpy shouted.
They both turned around in an instant. A bony figure armed with a bow was standing over them, and it was nocking another arrow.
“Derpy,” the Doctor said.
“I know,” replied his companion uneasily.
“Run!” they duo said in unison.
They bolted in different directions just as an arrow pierced the ground they once stood on.
"This way!” shouted the Doctor to Derpy. He pointed his hoof towards the woods that they emerged from.
She changed directions quickly and started running to the Doctor. She heard the distinct twang from the skeleton’s bow behind her and less than a second later she felt the arrow pass by her left ear.
The Doctor saw that the skeleton had diverted its attention to himself. He ducked just before the skeleton released it's grip on the arrow. He grimaced in pain when the arrow grazed his side. Derpy sprinted over to the Doctor and regrouped with him.
She saw the blood on his coat. “You alright?”
“Yeah, keep running!”
They did just that, more running. The Doctor and Derpy found one of their cracked trees and frantically searched for the next one.
“Come on! Where is it?!” he shouted with frustration in his voice.
“Over here Doct— Ahh!” An arrow lodged itself in the dirt right under her. Derpy took cover behind a tree. She could hear the skeleton getting closer. She took a deep breath and sprinted for cover at the next cracked tree.
She spotted the next one, then sprinted to it. The Doctor followed closely behind. As the chase went on, the skeleton became hard to spot but the arrows were less accurate and not as frequent. Soon afterwards, the arrows stopped firing altogether. They had gotten away.
“Phew, that was a close one.” The Doctor propped himself up on a tree and regained his breath.
Derpy laid down on her side. “Heh, yeah.” She stood back up after catching her breath. “Let me see your side.”
The Doctor presented the wound to his assistant. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just a scratch.”
“If you say so.” Derpy’s stomach growled and she groaned. “I could really use a muffin right now.”
The Doctor looked down at his own empty stomach. “I know how you feel.”
“I really feel like a blueberry muffin. Oh! Oh! Or a banana muffin. Mmmm. That’d be sooo tasty right now.” Derpy's eyes drooped and drool was beginning to dribble out of the side of her mouth. “So tasty...” she said quietly.
"Derpy, are you alright?" The Doctor nudged Derpy on the shoulder.
She snapped out of her trance. "Huh? I, but, but. It was so close! I almost took a bite out of it!"
The Doctor diverted his attention elsewhere. “Hold on Derpy, quiet.”
“What is—" Derpy's mouth was shut by the Doctor's hoof.
“Listen...”
Derpy cocked her head to hear the noise better. A few moments of silence later, Derpy began to speak again. “I think I hear it.” She listened to the noise more carefully. “It sounds familiar."
“Yeah...” The Doctor nodded in agreement. “It almost sounds like.”
Their eyes widened at the same time. “The TARDIS’s engine,” they said in unison.
“Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no. It can’t be. I thought I locked it! You saw me Derpy! I locked it! Unless somepony was in the TARDIS when I left, this can't be possible!" Something in the Doctor's mind clicked. "That noise, the shriek and the footsteps. Agh! How could I have been so careless? We gotta go. More running, come on! ”
The Doctor sprinted faster than ever in the morning light. The noise was becoming more distinct, it was definitely the TARDIS’s engine.
They were nearing their landing site. “Oh Celestia, please don’t let it be.”
The TARDIS was fading in and out. “NO! No. No. No...” The TARDIS de-materialized completely and it's engines were no longer heard. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned around hoping the TARDIS was still in the area but nothing could be detected. He grunted loudly in frustration and bucked a tree.
Derpy caught up to the disgruntled Doctor. “This isn't good.”
“How could it just fly off like that?! It wasn't even ready yet.”
The duo stared at the empty space where the TARDIS once was. The Doctor sighed.
“Don’t you have some kind of genius plan? You always do!” said Derpy with hope. In the back of her mind though, she knew that nothing could be done but wait for a miracle. The Doctor said nothing. “Come on! You can’t just give up like that!”
“I haven’t! I’m just thinking of a plan, that’s all.” The Doctor continued to stare at the space, deep in thought.
"It's obvious when you lie, Doctor," Derpy said before walking away disappointed.
All of a sudden, something started to ring. The pair stood up and dashed towards the source.
An old fashioned telephone was attached to a tree, a certain high pitched and squeaky voice was coming from the speaker. “Helllllllllooooo? Anypony there?”
The Doctor and Derpy Play Minecraft
Chapter 3: Caves and Near Death Experiences
Chapter 3: Caves and Near Death Experiences
The Doctor and Derpy stared in silence at the phone with dropped jaws. Hearing Pinkie’s voice was surreal in an already surreal universe. Thoughts and speculations flooded the Doctor’s head on how the Pinkie Pie could possibly be communicating with them. How did she even get a telephone in here? How did she even get the phone to connect to Equestria?
“What?!” the Doctor exclaimed.
“Hmm? Something wrong?” Pinkie asked.
“Well, let me think. Aside from the fact that my TARDIS is missing and I stranded Derpy in a parallel universe that’s not really parallel. Yes, I’m completely fine,” he said sarcastically.
“Hmph, well, you didn’t have to be so rude about it, Mr.Grumpypants.”
The Doctor sighed, “I’m sorry. I just had a long day, that’s all.”
Pinkie giggled, “No problem! I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now. I saw everything on my computer screen.”
“A what screen?” Derpy questioned.
“Human technology. You won’t get it,” the Doctor answered.
The vague answer raised more questions for the confused Derpy. “But, I thought humans went extinct a long time ago... That’s what you told me.”
“Technically, they evolved into equines but—” Pinkie shushed the Doctor through the phone.
“Whoops. Didn’t mean to tell you that. Pretend like you didn’t hear what I said.” The Doctor patted Derpy’s head. “Let’s get back on subject, Pinkie, you said that you could see us on your computer?”
“Yep! I can see everything that is going on in your world. It’s kind of creepy but there’s no need to worry because anything that happens will be kept a secret. Pinkie Promise!” The traveling duo could almost sense her wink at them.
“Oh, no. Pinkie, we’re just friends.” Derpy nodded in agreement.
“Whatever you say.” Pinkie giggled. “Anyway, I don’t know much about how you made it into my computer but now that you're in there, I can’t really help you. The most I can do is this.” The sound of the clattering of keys was emitted from the phone.
“Aaaaannndd.... heeere... weeee... GO!” Pinkie hit one final key on her keyboard and a brown chest instantly appeared to the right of the phone.
The duo stared at the chest; not knowing what to do with it. “Do I, do I kick it?” Derpy asked.
“No silly! You open it!”
Derpy got closer to the chest and examined it closer. “...by kicking it?” The Doctor facehoofed.
Derpy searched for a place to grip on it’s flat plane. Failing to find what she needed, Derpy pushed her hoof on the smooth surface and tried lifting the lid of the chest using the friction between her hoof and the chest. Her hoof slipped off immediately.
Derpy sighed. “I’m just gonna kick it.”
“What?! No! Don’t kick it.” Protested the Doctor.
“Well, I don’t see any other choice.”
“No other choice? How about this,” the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointed at the chest. His prized tool spurted a few sparks and the blue glow at the tip of the screwdriver faded away. “Aww, My screwdriver is broken. I liked my sonic screwdriver!” The Doctor threw it over his shoulder. “Just kick the damn box.”
“Will do!” Derpy bucked the lid of the chest at an upward angle as hard as she could. It flung open violently and broke off at the hinge. Derpy shrunk in embarrassment. “Oops... hehe.”
The duo peered down into the chest. Inside was two futuristic devices with small monitors on them. The word “Pipboy 3000” was scribbled out with a sharpie and written under it were the letters “E.F.M.”
Derpy took one of them out of the box and examined it. The Doctor grabbed one as well. Derpy slid the device onto her wrist and it automatically powered up. The screen displayed a single picture of a block; a tree block to be exact.
“Pinkie, what does this thingy do?” Derpy brandished the device at the hanging phone.
“It puts stuff on things. Just point and think.”
"How does it work?" asked the Doctor, obviously admiring the device.
"Well... I'm just going to be completely honest here. I was just putting together a bunch of wires then suddenly I invented the E.F.M!"
"That makes sense. I've done that enough times myself actually." The Doctor and Pinkie laughed.
Derpy just looked at the two of them talking like as if they were old friends. She stopped staring and pointed her hoof at the ground in front of her, concentrating hard. The Doctor and Pinkie stopped squabbling with one another and diverted their attention to Derpy.
"Come on... work!" Derpy said to herself. Her face scrunched up and she stuck her tongue out the side. A bead of sweat even rolled down her temple.
Pinkie broke her concentration. “Hey Derpy, I should proooobably tell you that you can’t make what you don’t have.”
“...Meaning?” asked Derpy.
“The only thing you can make is piece of a tree.”
Derpy’s ears flattened against her head, she dropped her hoof back down. “Oh. I wanted a muffin,” she said sadly.
Pinkie gasped. “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. Derpy...”
She looked over at the phone. “Yes?”
“There are no muffins.”
The words echoed in Derpy’s head. At first, it didn't seem like it affected her, but after the reality of the situation sunk in, she began to look more and more distressed. Tears welled up in Derpy’s eyes and her legs began to tremble. If she was informed that her daughter was hit by a carriage, this is how she would look.She was getting close to bursting out in tears, but suddenly, she stomped her hoof down hard. Derpy began to growl then she screamed loud enough to make the Doctor duck instinctively.
"Sweet... celestial... cupcake," Pinkie whispered from the phone.
Derpy's breathing became more erratic. “Oh dear.” The Doctor said quietly before backing away from his companion.
“No... muffins?!” she said while baring her teeth. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO MUFFINS?! How can there possibly be no muffins?! I’ve traveled across the whole of space and time, and everywhere I went had muffins! Sure, one of those places served me a meat flavored muffin but it was still a muffin!” Derpy screamed at the top of her lungs again and then collapsed to the floor, exhausted.
The Doctor peeked out from the tree and walked over to Derpy. He picked her up and put a foreleg over her shoulder. “Uhm, Derpy, are you gonna be alright?”
“Yeah... I guess I can survive a week or two without muffins,” she said gloomily.
“Aww, it’s going to be alright Derpy.” Pinkie sympathized. “They still have cake.”
“Anywho, what are we supposed to do now?” asked the Doctor while examining his device.
“I’ll try and work out a way to get you two out of here, shouldn’t take too long, but for now, you two have an entire world to explore!” Pinkie gasped suddenly. “Ohmygosh! I’m running out of time, I have to find a Celestial Elephant and FAST! Bye guys!”
The phone clicked and the line was terminated before the duo could say their goodbyes.
“Hey Doctor, the E.F.M came with an instruction manual. There’s about fifty pages worth of warnings here. I think this one says explosion warning, this one says radiation, ooooh, and this one is written in REALLY big words.”
“Derpy... I’m over 900 years old, and I have never stopped to read instruction manuals,” he said with pride. “And look at me, I’m still standing!” He struck a triumphant pose.
Derpy rolled her eyes. “That’s because of the regenerations,” she muttered.
“What was that?” The Doctor snapped back into his normal posture.
“Oh, nothing.” Derpy chuckled and tossed the booklet back into the chest.
The duo had been wandering aimlessly long enough for the darkness to overtake the landscape. They had traversed through a rough but small mountain range, waded through frigid waters, and ran from even more skeletons. There was even a zombie at one point. They trotted through the flat, grassy plain guided only by the light of the square moon.
Neither one of them wanted to admit it, but they were horribly lost. They no longer remembered where the woods were, where Pinkie’s phone was, or the direction they had headed for in the first place.
They had also figured out how to use the E.F.M more competently, and because of this, they realized how screwed they were. After analyzing the various screens, they noticed that they had no resources except for a single block of wood.
“Doctor...” piped Derpy.
“Hmm?”
“We’re lost.”
The Doctor put on a fake smile. “No we aren’t! We just need to head... over... overrrr...” He continued stretching the “err” as he tried to find a direction to point his hoof. He dropped his fake smile and blatantly said, “Yeah, we’re lost.”
Derpy sighed and began pounding at the dirt underneath her. She broke the blocks and they were absorbed into the E.F.M instead of her body. It caught her attention for a moment, but she shrugged it off and continued digging. The Doctor watched in silence. It wasn’t long until Derpy had a hole 4 blocks deep and two blocks wide.
She wiped the sweat off her forehead. “Phew. All done!”
The Doctor peered down into the hole. “This is certainly... interesting.”
“I know, it’s great!” Derpy sat down and smiled at the Doctor with misaligned eyes.
“Uh huh... Is this a shelter of some sort?”
Derpy popped her head out of the hole and beckoned the Doctor. “Come down, it’s kind of cozy.” She pressed herself against the wall, giving her companion a space to land.
The Doctor was hesitant. “You know, Derpy, shelters need a rooftop.” An arrow flew right over him. “On second thought that hole doesn’t look so bad!” He jumped into the hole.
Derpy pointed the E.F.M at the roof and four blocks appeared in sequence. The blocks cut off the moonlight and sealed the duo off from the rest of the world. Derpy tried shifting into a more comfortable position in the cramped space.
“Ow! That was my face!” the Doctor grunted.
“Sorry, let me just-” Derpy threw a kick with her hind leg and hit something fleshy.
“Derp-” He coughed. “Derpy, get off... get off of me.”
Derpy broke the dirt blocks and backed up into the extra space.
“Ahh, much better,” said the Doctor. “You pack one hell of a kick, that hurt!”
“Sorry ‘bout that.” Derpy noticed a dimly lit scrape on the Doctor’s foreleg. “Ouch... doesn’t that hurt?”
The Doctor didn’t respond. He was fixated on a spot behind Derpy. “Doctor?” asked his companion slowly.
“It was pitch black a second ago. How can you see this scrape?” he inquired. Derpy thought briefly before the Doctor pointed his hoof behind her.
Derpy turned around and stared at the dim light. “That’s interesting. It’s kind of warm. isn’t it.”
The Doctor nodded his head. “Keep on digging. Let’s see what it is.”
“Will do!” Derpy destroyed a single block. It plopped into a pool of orange, sizzled, then disappeared in a poof of smoke. “It’s lava.” She took a step back from the cube of lava.
“That’s odd... usually lava flows but this one holds it’s shape like a solid object. Maybe there’s some kind of force field-” The lava began obeying the laws of physics and advanced towards them. “NEVERMIND. RUN!”
They took four steps before running into the other wall. “There’s nowhere to run!” Derpy crammed up against the Doctor. The lava was getting alarmingly close. “Dig Doctor! Dig like you’ve never dug before!”
The Doctor clawed at the dirt desperately. The lava was closing the distance between the two ponies. The Doctor was barely making enough progress to keep away from the lava. Suddenly, the Doctor screamed and Derpy could no longer feel him being pressed on her rear. She was too panicked to worry about that however. Derpy continued to back away until a falling sensation took over her body.
Her wings extended instinctually and she stopped falling. Derpy looked down at the ground. She couldn’t tell how far down the cavern floor was. The hole was pitch black. For all she knew, the floor could’ve been ten feet away or one hundred feet.
Derpy looked up; the lava was only a foot from her head. She quickly darted to the side and out of the way of the lava. The lava began defying physics once again. It fell at an unusually slow rate.
“Doctor!” she yelled to herself upon realizing her friend had fallen all the way. Derpy wanted to fly down to the bottom immediately, but she knew that diving head first into a pitch black hole is suicide.
The falling lava illuminated the walls of the cavern, but the light didn’t penetrate the darkness in the hole. Derpy followed the falling lava but progress was slow. The longer she waited for the lava to illuminate the entire hole, the more anxious she felt. “Come on Doctor...” she said quietly.
A minute had passed and the lava had only fallen about hundred feet or so. “How long is this hole?!” she screamed in frustration. “Fall faster damn it!” commanded Derpy.
She couldn’t wait any longer. The anticipation was becoming unbearable. She stared down into the hole, took a deep breath, and dove down into the abyss. Adrenaline pumped through her veins making the four second dive seem like a forty second one.
Splash. Derpy landed in deep water. She was disoriented and blind in the darkness. She continued to sink until her hooves touched the floor. In an instant Derpy regained her bearings. She kicked off the floor and swam up. Upon breaching the surface, Derpy gasped for air.
“Doctor!” she hollered. “Doctor where are you?!” There was still no response.
Derpy slapped the water and screamed with frustration. Tears welled up in her eyes but she held them back. “I’m not giving up.”
The falling lava had finally reached the water. The water crackled and sizzled as dark, shiny blocks formed. The chamber was lit up finally and it was then when Derpy noticed that she was actually drifting with the water. She also started hearing the roar of rapids. Before she could react, she was pulled into the violent and powerful currents.
She screamed in pain when she was bashed against rock after rock. Derpy struggled to stay above water. It was complete chaos and her senses were overwhelmed. Pain coursed through her body, the roar of the rapids was deafening, and she could see absolutely nothing.
Derpy felt exhausted from fighting the currents. The water pulled her under with ease, and this time she didn't have the energy to re-surface. She could see a light, the light at the end of the tunnel. Her mind went blank. The light was getting closer. She felt like she was falling.
The whiteness engulfed her entire field of vision now, but she could start making out some shapes. That was a tree, those are bushes, and that’s... that’s, the Doctor!
“Derpy!” he shouted.
“Doctor!” she shouted back ecstatically.
Derpy looked down and all there was to break her fall was a shallow lake. Her wings were too wet to do anything. “Doctor!” she shouted again, but this time in a terrified voice. Splash , darkness.
“Come on Derpy... that’s right.” Derpy slowly opened her eyes. “Come on, you’re going to be all right.”
The pony coughed and stared up at the Doctor. “Wha- what happened?”
“Well. You dove head first into an underground reservoir, got caught in some rapids, almost died, fell off a waterfall, then almost died again, and now you’re here.”
Derpy stared at the Doctor with wide mismatched eyes. “So the light at the end of the tunnel-”
“Was literally the light at the end of the tunnel.”
Derpy continued to stare at the Doctor in shock and disbelief. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”
The Doctor hugged back, “You too Derpy. You too.”
They released each other from their hooves. “Listen up Derpy, this universe is massive. I know for a fact that you want to explore it. But we've been doing it wrong. I’m not going to deny it anymore, this place is dangerous. Death is lurking around every corner. I almost lost you once today and I don’t plan on doing it again! From now on, we’re playing this game by it’s rules. You got it?”
“Mmhmm.” Derpy nodded with a serious face.
The duo ventured off into the wilderness once again, but this time, they were going to do it right.
Author's Note
And Chapter 3 is finally up after Celestia knows how long. Sorry to keep you guys all waiting for so long. Hopefully you enjoyed it or for those who read author notes before reading, I hope you enjoy it! Any feedback is welcome and yada yada you get point. I hope I didn't mess up my grammar, spelling, or formatting.
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The Doctor and Derpy Play Minecraft
Chapter 4: It'd Be a Shame if Something Happened to It
Chapter 4: It'd be a Shame if Something Happened to It
The Doctor stood in front of a jumbled mess of blocks with a grin on his face. Derpy leaned against a tree and watched him place blocks with seemingly no plan. She had tried telling the Doctor that his creation was hideous and useless, but the Doctor insisted that he knew what he was doing.
The Doctor scrolled through the menu of his E.F.M and selected a dirt block. He stood in front of his masterpiece and calculated in his head where the block would fit the best. Unable to figure out for himself, he turned around to his companion for help.
“Do you think a block of dirt would look good here?” he asked.
“I think it’s gone to the point where nothing will make it look better or worse.”
“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” The Doctor turned back around and placed the block carefully.
Derpy laid down on the floor and rested her chin on the ground. “What are you building?”
“It’s a house.” The Doctor stepped back and surveyed his construction.
“It looks like as if you gave the E.F.M to a foal.” Derpy giggled.
“I’d like to see you do better.” The Doctor scoffed. “Everypony’s a critic,” he added.
Derpy smiled and squinted at the Doctor. “Is that a challenge?”
He returned Derpy the same look. “Yes, yes it is.”
After a brief moment of intense staring, the duo shouted, “IT’S ON!”
Derpy went off into the woods near the house, making sure that she was within shouting distance of the Doctor. She pounded away at tree trunks then collected the wood when the block broke . She repeated the process until she had a good supply of wood.
Derpy traveled a bit more until she found a clearing in the woods. She dug up the dirt in a rectangle leaving a neat hole in the ground, one block deep. She glided over to the edge of the hole and outlined the blocks with the wood she gathered. About a minute of hasty work later, the hole had walls four blocks high.
Laying down blocks using a magical tool doesn't really exert one’s body much, but Derpy still decided to take a break to check out the Doctor’s building. When she arrived, the Doctor was standing on top of a block that was floating high above the ground. He was stuck. Derpy bit on her hoof to stop herself from laughing.
“So—” Derpy snickered, but the Doctor didn't notice. “How are you doing with your house?” she said as casually as she could.
The Doctor cautiously turned himself around on the small block of dirt.. “I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking.”
“Have you... have you hit any complications yet?” Derpy lost what was left of her composure and bursted into a laughing fit.
“This is serious, I could die if I fall right now!” The Doctor nearly lost balance and knelt down to regain it. He hugged the edges of the block with his forelegs and legs.
“It’s like ten feet! You can’t die from that unless you fall straight on your neck.” She rolled over onto her back and continued to laugh.
“Please get me down Derpy,” he asked politely.
Derpy was still laughing loudly and couldn't hear the Doctor’s request.
"Derpy," the Doctor said to get her attention.
"Derpy," he said again to the still laughing Derpy.
"Derpy!" he said a bit louder. The Doctor facehooved. Derpy still hasn't stopped laughing.
“Derpy, get me down! ” he shouted at the top of his lungs. The Doctor slammed his hoof onto the floor, breaking the block underneath him. It was a bad move considering that that block was the only thing supporting him.
Derpy lost her desire to laugh and bolted over to the Doctor in a grey blur. She caught him a few feet from the floor and put him down softly.
Derpy laughed nervously. “Sorry. I probably should’ve helped you down earlier.”
“It’s alright, it was my fault anyway.” The Doctor brushed his tie off. “And thank you, let’s not speak of this again.”
“I don’t think so.”
The Doctor exhaled an exasperated breath. “Fine... What were you doing here anyway?”
“Oh, I was just checking up on your building.” Derpy walked past the Doctor and begun surveying his shelter. The Doctor followed closely behind, uncomfortably close.
“What are you doing?” Derpy asked.
“Preventing sabotage .”
“Now why would I ever do that?” she asked innocently.
“Whenever we have competitions like this, they always end badly. Don’t you remember the cupcake eati—”
“Okay I got it,” Derpy interrupted.
Derpy did her best to ignore the Doctor as she continued surveying the house. The Doctor walked into Derpy a few times as they walked around the house. She finished up and turned to the Doctor. “It still looks like a jumbled mess. I think a foal could do better.”
The Doctor frowned. “If you think you’re so good, let’s have a look at your house!”
“My pleasure.” Derpy smiled smugly and trotted to her shelter.
The Doctor followed Derpy. “I present to you, my amazing construction!” Derpy threw her forelegs up and stood on her hind legs, similar to the way the Great and Powerful Trixie did during her shows.
Derpy was waiting for the Doctor’s reply, but there was only silence. “It’s too good for words, am I right?”
“It looks like a giant cardboard box.”
“It's—” Derpy started.
“And it has no door.” The Doctor cut her off.
“Still better than yours.”
“Not for long,” the Doctor said mischievously.
“Let’s hope you don’t have any more work related accidents, Doctor.” Derpy wore a malicious grin.
The Doctor trotted back to his project while peering over his shoulder periodically. Derpy followed his every move until he was out of sight.
Derpy’s building stood tall over the surrounding landscape. She could see the tops of trees and a few glimpses of the Doctor’s building. She couldn't help but notice that the Doctor’s building was finally beginning to take some shape. The building reminded Derpy of something, but she couldn't figure it out. Her confidence was still high.
Derpy spread out her wings and jumped off the top of the building’s walls. She gathered some more materials and finished covering up the top of the building. She flew back down to ground level again and punched two blocks out of the wall.
“Now that’s a good door,” she said to herself.
Derpy walked through the hole and into the house, but she fell forward onto her face upon taking the first step. Apparently, the floor of the house was actually a block lower than the rest of the ground outside. The light from the door-hole only lit up a small area. The rest of the room was pitch black, Derpy couldn't even see the other side of the room. She had a little Eureka moment and pulled the E.F.M off of her wrist. She cast the light from the screen in front of her, but she was disappointed with the poor results. The amount of light that was cast definitely wasn't enough light to be useful. Derpy reluctantly decided to turn to the Doctor for help with lighting.
She gave the inside of the house one last glance then climbed the small ledge that led outside. The sky had a orange-reddish tint to it now. There was only a minute or two left of sunlight. Derpy trotted through the woods over to the Doctor, little did she know, the Doctor had the same idea. They encountered each other in an area in between their buildings.
The Doctor greeted Derpy cheerily and she did the same.
“So, what brings you out here right now?” Derpy asked.
“Me? I was wondering if you had a flashlight or something. The inside of my house is rather dark.”
“I was actually going to ask you the same thing."
The Doctor watched the sun get lower and lower on the horizon. It was already halfway down. “The sun is setting, and our houses are both uninhabitable. If only we decided to just work on the same house, then we’d actually have someplace to sleep in.”
The Doctor and Derpy stared each other momentarily before bursting into laughter.
“I actually thought you were serious for a moment!” Derpy laughed a bit more and wiped a tear from her eye. “Anyway, your house might be useless, but mine could probably get us through the night.”
“Alrighty then.”
When the duo arrived at Derpy’s house, the sun had just set below the horizon and blackness was taking over the sky. There was no moon tonight.
“This is safe?” the Doctor exclaimed upon seeing the fortress of wood.
Derpy nodded and flew inside.
“It still doesn't even have a door!”
Derpy poked her head out the door. “Do you want to wait in a hole tonight?”
The Doctor mumbled something and walked into the house.
“Plus, it does have a door.” Derpy pointed the E.F.M and sealed the hole up with two blocks of dirt.
The last of the light was cut off and the duo was stuck in pitch blackness. Derpy took the time to take a quick nap, the Doctor on the other hoof, wasn’t so calm. He spent the first minute and a half fidgeting with the E.F.M and discovered a few screens that he hasn’t used yet. He didn’t know how to anyway so it was pointless.
The Doctor powered off the screen and began pacing the room. He bumped into the walls a couple of times, but after several more rounds, he was able to determine when to turn based on how many hoofsteps he took.
As he passed by the wall with the door for the eighteenth time, he heard a faint hissing noise that faded away just as quickly as it started. The Doctor just assumed it was Derpy snoring. Three more turns and he was back at the same wall, and there was the same hiss from before.
“Derpy’s snoring is like clockwork, ” the Doctor thought.
He passed by the wall again, and Derpy produced another hiss. The Doctor chuckled a bit. Derpy stirred in her sleep and rolled from her backside onto her hooves.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s your snoring, that’s all.”
“What? I don’t snore,” Derpy said, surprised.
“Nonsense, I can hear it whenever I pass this wall. It works like clockwork.” The Doctor knocked on the wooden wall.
“Doctor, that hissing isn’t me. You can hear it right now.” Derpy followed the Doctor’s voice and stood next to him. She pressed her ear against the wall. “Yeah, it’s definitely outside. I think it’s getting louder too.”
“What do you know, it i—” BOOM .
The Doctor and Derpy were thrown halfway across the room. The rising sun shined through the gaping hole in the wall. Dirt and stone blocks floated in the deep crater before them. They stared at the destruction with bruised ribs, cut bodies, and gaping mouths.
“WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT?!” they shouted in unison.
“Doctor, did you blow up my house?” Derpy said loudly. She paused and rubbed her ear. "I can hardly hear myself."
“What was that Derpy?!” the Doctor shouted unintentionally.
“Oh Celestia I think we’re deaf!” Derpy shouted back. “Doctor! We’re deaf! I can barely hear you and I can barely hear myself oh my Celestia this is so ba—” The Doctor pressed his hoof onto Derpy’s mouth.
“SHUSH!” The Doctor apologized for his loud tone.
He cocked his head to the left and cupped his ear with his hoof. “Do you hear that?”
“Ringing,” answered Derpy.
“The phone! We need to find the phone now!”
The Doctor navigated the crater with ease and Derpy simply flew over it. They found the source of the ringing phone and picked it up.
“Hello?!” shouted Derpy into the phone.
They were greeted by heavy breathing on the other line. “Hey... guys... I... need... give me a second.” Pinkie took several over exaggerated breaths.
“Wow, Pinkie Pie is actually out of breath,” Derpy said, surprised. They had a short laugh and went back to paying attention to the phone again.
Pinkie took one last deep breath and began talking. “Hey guys I just ran over from Canterlot because I just remembered some super duper important news that I need to tell you two!”
“We’re listening,” said the Doctor.
“You need to watch out for the green mossy monsters. It looks like they just want a hug but trust me, I tried that once and he just exploded. What a meanie! How are you guys doing right now anyway? Hold on! I’m turning on a camera.”
The duo heard a few clicks on the other line. “Oh. Wow. It looks like you two already met Mr.Creeper.”
Author's Note
I am a very very very very lazy person it turns out. I have no excuses for the lack of update. Hope you guys don't hate me and I also hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'm going through a few edits on chapters 1-3, I finished editing chapter one already.
Special thanks to Minjask over at Ponychan's /fic/ board for reviewing the first 3 chapters! You're corrections and tips were very useful.
The Doctor and Derpy Play Minecraft
Chapter 5: The Plot Thickens
Chapter 5: The Plot Thickens
A few days had passed since the creeper incident and the competition between the Doctor and Derpy had slowed to a halt. They took refuge in Derpy’s building which still lacked any illumination. The hole from the explosion was crudely patched with dirt and the walls were reinforced to be three blocks thick instead of just one. The duo was detached from the outside world safe from dangers such zombies, skeletons, and creepers, but also disconnected from important resources such as food and water.
Derpy’s stomach growled loudly and echoed through the room, catching the attention of the Doctor. “Are you alright over there?” he asked.
Derpy picked her head up and turned towards the Doctor’s general direction. “A bit hungry, but otherwise, yeah.”
“You know, I’ve never been in a situation like this before,” commented the Doctor.
“Woah what? Really?” Derpy replied.
“Yeah, well, to be fair, I don’t travel to other universes too often, and when I do, they aren’t drastically different from our own universe.” The Doctor paused for a moment. “Err, I mean my own universe.”
Derpy sighed. “It’s strange to think that we have, or rather had, the ability to travel through space and time, and now, we’re stuck here in a dark, crudely made dirt box.” She paused and waited for the Doctor to respond, but when he didn’t, she decided to continue on with her little rant. “Normally, I’m an optimist, but honestly, this is just depressing. I’ve tried to shoo away the bad thoughts, thoughts of the hundreds of potential disasters and scenarios that could leave one of us, or even both of us, dead. But they keep coming back and bothering me like a persistent fly.”
Derpy paused again, but she didn’t wait as long for a response from the Doctor, or care as much when she didn’t get one. Instead, she continued to speak, gradually becoming lost in thought. Her tone of voice was much more somber as she continued. “I wonder what the ponies back at home are thinking. They probably think that I’m still at the edge of the universe and seeing wonderful and amazing things.” She choked up. “They don’t realize the truth of it all. Everywhere we go ends up being some death trap! Just like this place. Sure, we always escape it through some Doctor miracle.” Derpy chuckled for a second but snapped back to her depressed mood. “But there are so many that don’t make it. So many that we promise we would save but don’t !”
Derpy’s voice reduced to a small murmur. “Why am I thinking like this so suddenly.” She stopped talking. In the moment of silence, survivor's guilt had finally caught up to her. Faces of those who she's seen perished flashed before her eyes. Each one sending sharp pain to her gut and chest. She broke down, and began sobbing. "Why am I thinking this?!" she asked herself again. She sighed, and regained some of her composure. “I t-think... I want to go back home. No more adventures. I can't take it anymore.”
The Doctor climbed out of a hole in the ground and back into the interior of the shelter. “Hey Derpy! Look at what I made!” he shouted proudly. He took notice of the now gloomy Derpy. There were slightly most lines on her face where tears had run down. The Doctor turned around and looked back down at the small tunnel he had dug. “I did not choose a good time make this,” he muttered to himself.
“Hey, Doctor. What’d you make?” Derpy struggled to sound enthusiastic for the sake of the Doctor’s feelings. However, even to the most socially inept person, it was easy to tell something was wrong.
The Doctor caught on instantly but he didn't want to offend her, so he remained quiet and didn't ask. Yet. He had seen this before with other companions. The spark of curiosity that beckoned humans to reach and explore the far reaches of the universe, had died within Derpy.
He still had a shred of doubt that that wasn't it, but he had to make sure. Before he could think, he shouted, “Derpy! Do you still feel the desire to continue traveling with me?!” The Doctor clasped his mouth with his hoof, released the grip, then facehoofed at his unintentionally and uncomfortably direct approach at confirming whether or not his hunch was correct.
The Doctor quickly tried to fix this error. “Wait, I meant to say—”
He was quickly cut off by Derpy’s equally uncomfortable and direct answer, “No.”
“What?” he replied in disbelief. Derpy was the last person he'd expect to experience this.
“I said...” Derpy paused and thought momentarily, “No.” It pained Derpy to say it the second time. The first time was easy to say because it was more of an impulsive answer, but the second time really assured Derpy that this was what she truly believed. Her knees trembled, causing her to sit down. She looked down at the ground and tears began to flow once more.
“It wasn’t that kind of what.” The Doctor sighed and also turned his eyes towards the ground. “I’ll get you out of here. The next stop will be your front door."
Derpy let out a shaky breath and looked back up at the Doctor. “Thank you.”
The Doctor turned around and trotted back into his hole. “Yeah.”
A pang of guilt attacked Derpy. The Doctor was in such a good mood beforehand but now she had destroyed him. If this was their last adventure together, she was at least going to make it a good one, for the Doctor. She quickly followed him to the hole and lightened up her mood. She stopped at the top of a small staircase. The Doctor was at the bottom.
“So, what’d you build again?” she asked the Doctor.
The cheeriness in her voice surprised the Doctor. He didn’t mind. He trotted over to the base of the stairs and looked up at Derpy. “Oh, this? I’m working on a system of tunnels. If we can’t navigate the world above ground, we’ll do it underground.”
“How did we not think of this earlier?!” Derpy exclaimed.
“I have no idea.” The duo exchanged a snort of laughter.
“How can I help?” Derpy walked down the staircase, the Doctor backed up a bit to make room.
“Uhm, let’s just switch off every once in awhile. We’re digging that way, as you can see.” The Doctor pointed to the edge of the tunnel.
“Okay then. Let us commence digging! By us I mean you. I’ll take the second shift.”
The Doctor and Derpy’s coats were sticky and disheveled from the hour of constant digging. It was the Doctor’s shift when he crumpled to the floor, panting. “Let’s stop here, agreed? I don’t think I can dig any more.
Derpy, who was already laying down, nodded her head. “Me either. What now?”
The duo looked down the dark, two block high, endless-looking tunnel. “Build a staircase up, if there’s anything up there, sentient ,inanimate, or whatever else it could possibly be, we go back in and seal up the hole! It doesn't seem like anything here can break blocks other than us. We'll create a bunch of emergency exits all over the place. This system is nice, simple, and efficient. I love it!”
The Doctor began digging and making the staircase. It didn’t take much time for him to break the surface. The duo turned their head away in unison as the light blinded them temporarily. They shielded their eyes and slowly emerged from the hole.
They scanned their surroundings looking for any danger. “
"Moo.” Derpy shrieked and ducked back into the hole. The Doctor’s eyes widened as he was reminded of the cow's existence. He was disappointed in himself for not making the connection earlier.
“Moo,” the cow uttered again, now right behind the Doctor.
The Doctor's face contorted slightly with anger. “Youuuuuu...” he said with contempt in his voice.
Derpy poked her head back out of the hole. “Doctor, are you alright?” she cocked her head. “Doctor?” She climbed back out of the hole and waved her hoof in front of the Doctor’s face. “Helloooo?”
The Doctor turned around and faced the cow. The awkward cow. “You stole the TARDIS, didn’t you.” His voice was unnerving, you could feel the anger and sense the fact that he wanted to do horrible, horrible things to the cow. Yet at the same time, the voice was still calm.
The awkward cow turned 180 degrees without even moving it’s legs. It just sorta slid. Then, it began to walk away. "Moo."
“Oh no you don’t.” The Doctor glared at it’s rear. “Stay here, Derpy.”
“Uh, okay,” answered Derpy. She was unable to comprehend what was going on. “What are you doing?”
The Doctor shushed her, “Just stay put.”
Derpy nodded slowly and retreated back into the hole. She sealed the top, pressed her ear against the roof, and listened intently.
“Running away, cow?" He said softly before escalating to a normal talking volume. "That’s a horrible mistake, because I assure you." He took a breath, "I am very good at running!” he shouted.
With that last sentence, Derpy heard the scuffling of footsteps that faded into the distance. Shortly afterwards, there was an explosion. She was concerned of course, but she was mainly confused.
“Did the Doctor... just. Did he just run into a cow and explode?”
From the Doctor’s perspective, things were a little different. The cow wasn’t very fast and the Doctor caught up quickly. He wasn’t even breathing hard. He stood in front of the cow and their eyes locked in on each other.
“I know you’re a lot smarter than you look. So, what did you want the TARDIS for?” The Doctor maintained a serious face. The cow simply blinked.
“Come on, drop the act, I know you ha—”
The Doctor was interrupted by a hissing noise. His attention was drawn towards a creeper which was partially blocked by a tree. It was flashing and expanding.
He turned back to the cow. “You clever piece of scum."
The Doctor was still staring at the cow when the explosion went off. He was thrown off as feet and onto his side. The cow let out one final, distressed, “MOOOO!” as it toppled over and faded from existence.
The Doctor stood back up relatively unscathed. His injuries were small in comparison to the last encounter with a creeper back at Derpy’s shelter. He stood back up, brushed himself off, and stared at the cow’s remains. All that was left was a pixelated red lump of meat, and what looked like a browner orange peel.
“DAMN IT!” the Doctor shouted at the remains. The cow was his only lead and only chance to retrieve the TARDIS, and now, it was reduced to pixelated scraps. The pieces floated towards the Doctor and were absorbed into the EFM.
He slowly trotted back to the hole in disappointment. However, the ringing of a telephone distracted him. The Doctor immediately traced the sound back to the old-fashioned telephone.
He picked it up to be greeted by a worried Pinkie Pie. “Oh my gosh, Doctor, I saw what happened between you and Derpy are you alright? Do you need someone to talk to? I’ve been trained to deal with these situations! Don’t worry, I can make you feel better right now!” The squeaking of rubber could be heard from the other side of the line. “Hey look, it’s a puppy made out of balloons! He tells you to cheer up! Are you happier now Doctor?”
“Umm, thanks Pinkie, but I’m alright, really.”
“That was a huuuuuuuuge surprise when that happened. And I’m not a pony that’s surprised very easily since I throw a bunch of surprise parties and surprise pranks and surprise cantaloupe eating contests. Actually I stopped having surprise cantaloupe eating contests, the last one didn’t end too well.”
The Doctor raised an eyebrow“You, did, what?” He shook his head. “Nevermind, forget I asked. Why did you call?”
“Me? Oh, I noticed that you guys were hungry then I noticed you picked up meat. Cook it, and eat it!”
The Doctor physically recoiled. “How can I possibly eat meat? I’m a pony, ponies don’t eat meat. Well, I’m a time lord in a pony body so I guess I can eat meat. What about Derpy?”
“Nononono, it’s not real meat. It’s soy!”
“A cow, made of soy? That’s new. It still came from a living thing though, it’s morally wrong! For Derpy, I mean.”
“The cow was never alive. It can’t even think. It’s just a fleshy, err, soy-y automaton walking around to make the world more lively.”
“What? No, that isn’t possible. The cow stole my TARDIS!”
Just as he finished his sentence, a distinct whirring noise started coming from Pinkie’s end from the line. “Oh... Hey. The cupcakes are ready.” Pinkie nervously laughed.
The whirring stopped and the Doctor listened to the door open. He could recognize the distinct clacking of the lock mechanism and the squeak of the hinges. “Pinkie...” he said using the same, intimidating yet calm voice he used on the late cow.
The strange screeching noise that he heard when he was throwing spheres and cubes was heard. “Oh, hey G-gummy. I guess you r-really want some cupcakes right?” Pinkie started laughing even more nervously and almost uncontrollably.
The Doctor heard the phone drop followed by Pinkie’s panicked panting and squeaking.
“Pinkie,” he said in a stern and serious tone. The panting and squeaking stopped but he could still hear her trembling in her chair.
“I won’t tell anyone or hold anything against you for stealing my TARDIS.”
“WHO SAYS I STOLE YOUR TARDIS?!” Pinkie shouted before shutting herself up. “Sorry,” she said weakly. “Go on.”
“Under one circumstance.”
Pinkie was curled up in a ball with the phone pressed tightly against her ear, listening intently.
“You don’t tell Derpy.”
“What?!” Pinkie exclaimed in a hushed and shaky voice.
“You heard me. Not a word.”
“B-but, why?”
“I can’t lose her. As soon as I get my TARDIS back I have to return her back to her home. I’ll be alone, again. I just can’t lose her. I’ve lost too many companions and I need her. You may have thought I had already given up on her, but I haven’t. I’m going to reignite that curious spark inside of her. She will want to keep traveling. I will not be alone. Now, do you agree to the terms?”
Pinkie was trembling. She had never heard the Doctor be so serious and menacing before. She managed to squeak one word, “Y-yes.”
“Alright. That’s good.” The Doctor snapped back to his cheeky old self. “So, Pinkie, what exactly did you need my TARDIS for anyway?”
“I thought it would be a good location for a party.”
The Doctor facehoofed.
Author's Note
I... neglected you guys really badly. I can't justify myself. I'm sorry. However, I think I've finally figured out where I'm going with this story and should be able to ward off writer's block a lot easier! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.
