Never Gone

by Shadow_Colt

Rating: everyone
Tags: Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Tragedy
Length: 6782

Shining Armor has seen many battles saved many ponies and fended off many enemies but even the strongest need to rest.

Shining Armor has been a Royal Guard for a long time. Having fought off many enemies and saving thousands. He' grown old now he get to remember both the fun and embarrassing things with those he loves.

Published 2024-05-22 18:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-22 18:20:00 UTC

Never Gone

How is he, Pristine?” I asked the doctor.

“I wish there was more I could do, but this isn’t a sickness. He’s dying. I’m sorry, Cadance.”

“How much longer do you think?”

“When he falls asleep tonight I think that will be all.”

I sighed, it all happened so suddenly. Just a week ago he was walking around happily, now he’s bedridden. I turned around to the others, Twilight and Spike sat at the corner of the room with Flurry and Shield not too far away.

“Where’s Shadow?” I asked Twilight.

“I let Orange Tides know about thirty minutes ago. He’s on a scouting trip.” Before I could even say anything the door burst open with Shadow rushing in.

“I came as soon as I heard. How is he?”

“Not good.”

“How long does he have?”

“Not long. Pristine said that when he goes to sleep he probably won’t wake up.”

“Cadance, Twilight, I’m so sorry.”

“We’re all losing someone, let's just remember the good times for now.”

“But you guys are losing so much more than I am. He’s your family but only my friend.”

“You’re more than just friends, you saved his life and he saved yours.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I’ll see if Shining wants anything.” I walked into his room and shut the door behind me.

“Shining?” I asked softly, trying not to wake him in case he was asleep.

“Yes honey?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better now that you’re here.”

“Twilight and the kids are out there.”

“You guys act like I'm dying.”

“Well, they came to be here with you.” Suddenly, he started giggling. Confused, I asked him what he was thinking of.

“Remember the time when we were just kids, and during the school hoofball game I went to catch the ball and busted my face on the metal pole holding up the fence?” I laughed.

“Yeah and you were more worried about making sure you actually got the ball, not whether your teeth were all still there.”

“The doctor thought I had a concussion.”

“Yep.”

“Those were the good days when we were young, dumb, and knew exactly what we wanted.”

“I still think the days are good, we have what we wanted plus some and two amazing kids.”

“We’ll pick back up on those good days when I'm better won’t we?”

“Yeah, we will.”

“Sorry about… this.”

“Don't be, you couldn’t prevent it.”

“Still.”

“Remember the night we met?”

“Yeah, the school day is over. It was my first day but you had been there a few years.”

“Some kid pushed you down the stairs in front of the school and you ran into me.”

“I think I remember hitting you so hard I flipped over you and we were both on the ground.”

“Yeah, the kid that pushed you apologized only because you hit me.”

“Yep, damn I wish I didn’t grow up so quick.”

“I wish that too. Can I get you anything?”

“Water would be nice if you don’t mind.”

“Okay, do you want to talk to Twilight?”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to Shadow. I have a question for him.”

“Oh okay, I’ll send him in.” I walked out of the room and to the water fountain. Grabbing a cup, I quickly filled it up. I walked over to Shadow.

“He wanted to talk to you.”

“Not until the rest of his family does. If he passes before the rest of you guys get to talk to him I won't forgive myself.” I sighed knowing that I couldn't change his mind.

“Shield?” I asked as I walked over to him.

“Yeah, I'll go talk to him.” He took the cup and walked into Shining’s room. I walked back over to Shadow

“You know you wanted to go in there.”

“I did, but like I said if he were to pass and the rest of his family didn’t get to talk to him before I did I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

“Shadow?” Shining asked.

“No, it’s Shield. Shadow wanted the family to see you first.” he sighed.

“Which of you are out there?”

“Shadow, Flurry, mom, Spike, and Twilight.”

“You guys act like I'm dying, I'll be fine don’t worry about me.”

“Yeah, we just wanted to make sure.”

“Well I'm glad you’re here.”

“Of course I'm here, dad.”

“Sorry to be all laid away. When I'm up again we’ll get right back to all the fun stuff.”

“Yeah, we sure will.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I'm fine, I'm just tired.”

“If something bothers you, tell me.”

“It’s just that you’re in the hospital, but I'll be fine.”

“It’s alright son, I'm strong like you, I'll make it through this.”

“Yeah I know.”

“What have you been up to?”

“Not much. The scouting trip with Shadow a few days ago was fun. I got to learn more about him.”

“You’ll be learning about him until you die. Just like I will.” I forced a small laugh.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve wanted to bring this up for a while… what happened at the fight when you and Blue were taken?”

“It was the work of Rusty, the real Rusty. He used me as a persuasion against Blue so he could get the journal.”

“I’m glad he’s gone now. Sorry that you went through that.”

“I am too and it’s alright, the pain is temporary, it doesn't hurt anymore.”

“I’m glad. Son, just in case this goes bad I hope you know that I love you.”

“Dad, don't say that, you’ll make it out.”

“I think I will too but it never hurts to be preemptive.”

“I don’t know if I like it, when you’re preemptive it means you’re worried.”

“I’m not worried, I'll be fine.”

“You haven't touched the water I brought you.”

“Well, I don't really have the strength to grab it.”

“You should’ve said something.” I picked up the glass and he maneuvered himself to be able to drink it. I couldn’t tell when he wanted to stop so I went about 10 seconds then stopped.

“That good?” I asked.

“Yeah, for now.” He replied.

“Sorry, normally I wouldn't ask you to do that.”

“You don’t need to say sorry, you needed help so I helped you. I’ll let you get some rest, I'm sure you need it.”

“Well… I don’t want to go to sleep before I see everyone. I might not wake up for a while, you know?”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“Try and get Shadow in here, will you?”

“Yeah.” I walked out of the room.

“Your turn, Shadow.” I said, but to no response. He was nowhere to be seen.

“He left for a bit.” Twilight explained.

“What, why?”

“He said he won’t go until the family goes.”

“I can’t tell if it’s admirable or if he’s an asshole.”

“It's true, okay.”

“He’s looking out for us.” Flurry said.

“But our father wants to talk to him!”

“It’s okay, I’ll go in. Shadow can go in after me if he wants.” Flurry walked into my dad’s room. I left to find Shadow, which wasn’t hard. He was in his quarters.

“What the hell?” I yelled at him.

“Shield, just try to understand.”

“At first I understood it but he’s asked for you twice now!”

“You guys should come before me. I don’t want to take a chance at one of you guys not getting to talk to him.”

“Shadow, we don't care if you go talk to him! It’s his wish to talk to you!”

“Who is in there right now?”

“My sister.”

“I’ll go after her but I won't be long.”

“Fine, whatever you feel like!”

As I walked into my dad’s room I heard my brother borderline cursing out Shadow. I understood why Shadow was acting the way he was, but I also understood why my brother was so mad. They both wanted the best for my dad but I'm not sure who was really in the right.

“Hey, dad.” I said quietly.

“Flurry?” he replied confused.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“I thought you were in the griffin territory?”

“You think I would just skip over my dad who is in the hospital?”

“Don’t worry, I'll be fine.”

“Doc is saying otherwise.”

“Of course he is.”

“I don’t know what to think.”

“I guess just assume the worst, that's what everyone else is doing.”

“I don’t want you to die, dad.”

“That’s what I said to my parents and I'll tell you what they told me, ‘Just because I die doesn’t mean I’m gone’” he put a hoof over his heart, then continued “‘I’ll be here, always.’ We’ll always leave the physical world eventually, no matter what, but we’ll still be around in the hearts of those who loved us.”

“It's not the same.”

“And that’s okay. One day we’ll see each other again with fresh new stories and the time we were apart will be so worth it.”

“I hope so.”

“But who said I’m dying today or even this year? I’ll be walking again here soon.”

“Yep, speaking of, the griffin prince was sad to hear you didn’t come with me.”

“When will you go back?”

“I’ll go back when you get out of here.”

“Well, I'll go with you then.”

“That sounds great, I'm sure they’ll enjoy that.”

“What did you go over there for anyways?”

“Some of their people were coming over here when they weren't supposed to, and we can’t figure out how.”

“If I remember what Shadow said correctly there's a part of their south wall that's broken.”

“Really? I’ll go and check it out before we go back.”

“Just to be sure, ask him when you send him in.”

“I will. Thank you.”

“See, just because I'm old and broken doesn’t mean I'm useless.”

“Who told you you were useless?”

“Myself.”

“Dad, why?”

“I haven’t been able to do my job lately. I can’t reliably go on scouting trips and I'm not able to stand let alone walk for long periods of time before I have to sit down.”

“That’s just normal. It happens.”

“I’ve been ‘in shape’ my whole life. Now I’m so weak I can't even walk straight.”

“Dad, you’re so far from useless.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“No, I'm good. Look, if this goes bad can you make me a promise?”

“Anything.”

“Look after your brother. My death will hit him the hardest, I feel.”

“Of course.”

“Flurry, can you forgive me?”

“For what?”

“For spending so much of my time on the things that were less important than my family.”

“Dad, you saved plenty of time for us.”

“Not as much as I would've liked to.”

“We always could spend more time with family but things get in the way whether we planned it or not.”

“You’re right, I guess I'm just being stupid.” I couldn’t help but begin to cry.

“Dad, why are you putting yourself down like this, this isn’t you.”

“Because everyone walks in here saying I’m dying. What am I supposed to do?

“Dad…”

“I’m sorry… Please Flurry, don't cry.”

“Dad, I want to help you but I don’t know how!”

“Flurry, it’s alright. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I took some time to compose myself so I could talk straight.

“Would you like me to have Shadow come in?”

“Flurry, I'm sorry. It’s just rough when everyone tells you that you’re going to die.”

“Would you like me to have Shadow come in?” I repeated. He sighed, but reluctantly agreed. I opened the door from his room and immediately lost my composure. Twilight said something but I was too busy trying to hold myself together to understand.

“I’ll go in.” Twilight said.

“Actually-” Shield began to say but I kicked him in the leg before he could finish.

“What?” Twilight asked, looking over at us.

“Nothing.” I said.

“Wait, Shadow, you should go in, he's asked for you multiple times.”

“Twilight…”

“Come on, Shadow, he wants to talk to you.”

“I won’t be long.”

“Take as long as you’d like.” she replied back. I walked into Shinings room. I thought it was oddly dark.

“Shining, how ya holding up?”

“Alright, I guess.”

“You’ll get through it, don't worry.”

“Shadow, don't give me that.”

“What?”

“Shadow tell me, am I on borrowed time?” I hesitated.

“Yeah, Shining. Yeah you are.”

“What took you so long to get in here?”

“I wanted all of the family to go first.”

“You knew all along?”

“No, I thought you would be fine. I still just wanted your family to go first. Family before friends.”

“You are family to me, Shadow.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I won’t be here to protect Twilight, can you make sure she’s safe?”

“Of course. I’ll make sure she’s kept safe even when she’s away from home.”

“Thanks.”

“You look tired.”

“I am very tired.”

“I’ll get out of here then.”

“Shadow, I'm not trying to push you away.”

“I know, but Twilight still wants to see you. If you manage to fall asleep before she gets in here I'll have a coffee ready for when you wake up.”

“Thanks, Shadow. What time is it?”

“The moon is in full view.”

“It’s pretty late then.” I gave him a hug.

“Thank you for everything, Shining.”

“Thank you.” I left the room.

“Twilight?”

“I’m letting Spike go.” she replied

“He’ll enjoy that.” I said.

I walked into the room and immediately felt claustrophobic. The walls that were once light blue and tan had turned gray; it felt like the room was closing in, closing in on Shining. I spoke up.

“Shining?” I said worriedly.

“Spike!” He said in the most excited sounding voice he could manage. It sounded hollow, like it wasn’t actual excitement. I couldn't tell if it was due to him being sick or if he was scared.

“How do you feel?”

“I’m awake, that's all that matters to me.”

“Doc says you’re not doing well.”

“Eh, I don’t trust him on this one, think about it; just last week I was okay, now I'm not? I’ll be fine in a few days, I'm sure.”

“I hope so.”

“Don’t worry about me, Spike. Even if for some reason I went out it’s not like we didn’t have a good time.”

“I know. I just… the future.”

“What about it?”

“Everything we could do.”

“There’s always things we could do. What do you have planned?”

“Do you remember that one place in the forest that was surrounded by tall pine trees and the opening was really big and full of the softest grass?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“I go there every once in a while, but I realize it’s been a long time since you’ve gone with me. I wanted you to go with me again for old times sake.”

“I’d like that, we’ll do it as soon as I can, it's top priority.”

“You look thirsty.”

“I am and I just had a drink.” I grabbed his glass and brought it to his mouth. I slowly tipped it until he was able to drink from the glass. He drank slowly but surely, swallowing every last drop.

“Do you want more?” I asked him.

“No, I'm good now, thanks.” He shifted and fidgeted in his bed.

“How can I help that?” I asked.

“I don’t think you can, I've been in this bed so long I'm just getting uncomfortable.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, I'll be out of here soon enough.”

“Yep, out of here and back to running around.”

“I don’t know about the running around part. I'll admit I'm getting older.”

“Older shmolder, you can do anything if you put your mind to it.”

“I can break anything if I'm not careful and I think a leg is on that list of things.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Come on, Spike, where's that smile you always wear?”

“I wish Doc had never said you were dying.”

“Don’t get sad on me, Spike.”

“What if you do die? What if it is truly over?” I jumped up and gave him a long awaited hug. I broke down, sobbing into his hold.

“Spike, it’s not over. I'm always with you, in your heart, in your thoughts. Even if I’m not here physically I can still hear you.” I rolled off him to the other side of his bed.

“It’s not the same, you won’t be there to answer my questions or give me high-five’s.”

“Save those high-five’s, we’ll have one great big one later on. Besides, who said I was actually going to die? Look, do me a favor, you're always the one to have a smile on your face, don't let it fade.” I gave a light smile.

“I won’t forget you Shining.”

“I won’t forget you either.” I hopped off the bed and walked out of the room.

“He looks tired, Twilight.”

“That’s alright.” She walked into the room lightly as if nothing was wrong.

“Twilight?”

“Shiny?”

“Don’t let me die.”

“I-I don’t know how Shining.”

“I’m not ready.”

“None of us ever will be ready.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I. Trust me, I would give anything to save you.”

“Why does it have to be this way? Why do I have to sit here and suffer?”

“Just because these may be your last moments doesn’t mean you should waste them. Your whole family is here. Make something of it.”

“How? I can’t move.”

“Talk, talk your heart out, we don’t mind. We want to talk to you, we want to be here with you right now.”

“I just want to be the strong pony you’re used to.”

“We don’t need to see you that way to be happy.”

“How?”

“I mean that no matter how you feel or how you look, your presence to us is just as great as you walking beside us.”

“What about when I'm gone?”

“We know you’re in a better place, one that’s not full of hate, pain, and war.”

“I told Cadance I’d always be right next to her for everything. Now I won't be there.”

“That’s okay, you may not be here physically but you’ll be here in spirit. She has everything you ever did for her and two great children to remind her of you.”

“What about the kids?”

“Shiny, stop worrying, they’ll be fine, you've gone along just fine without our parents.”

“They were ready though.”

“Were they?”

“I’ll never get to see you guys again.”

“You’ll be able to see us even if we can’t see or hear you, we know you’ll be near us. Shining, can you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“You’re hurting yourself more to fight sleeping, take a nap. We'll talk more when you wake up.”

“Am I even promised to wake up?”

“Are we ever promised such a thing?”

“Twily.”

“Just go to sleep.”

“Just wake me up, okay?”

“You got it. I’ll be here the whole time if you need anything just ask.” He stared at me for a while, his eyes filled with fear and sorrow.

“Shining, what’s wrong?”

“If I die I break my promise to you. I don’t want to break my promise, Twily.”

“You’re not breaking any promise, you've fulfilled all of your promises to me, Shiny.”

“Does the doc think I’ll wake up?” I hesitated for a while.

“No, no he doesn't. And that’s okay, you’ll be in a better place. We'll be there soon enough and you won’t even know you went without us.” I said as I began to cry.

“Thank you, Twily.”

“For what?”

“For being there when no one else was and keeping me from being stupid.”

“Shining, that wasn’t me that was all you, you and Cadance.”

“No, it wasn’t if it wasn’t for you I would’ve ended up marrying Chrysalis or I might have died to Tirek. Not that it matters, if I had died to him I would’ve at least died with dignity.”

“Shining!”

“It’s true! I’m not even fighting this, I'm just waiting to die!”

“Shining, there isn’t anything unheroic about this. You don’t lose dignity by simply dying. You get to rest now and all your pain will be gone, all your fears will go away. You are just as strong now as you were when fighting Tirek.”

“Twily, don’t cry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I just feel so empty.” I looked into his eyes through the tears. He was struggling to blink; he had to force open his eyes. All his color had faded; his once electric blue mane was now just another shade of gray. His cutie mark was still there though, I’m sure that was the work of Shadow.

“You’re not all gone, Shining.”

“What-what do you mean?”

“Your cutie mark it’s still there.” He put all his energy into lifting his head to see it but when he didn't have enough left in him, I helped him lift his head to see it in all its glory.

“Your hooves are warm.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it feels nice.” I wrapped him in a hug that was long overdue. He breathed in a long choppy breath before letting it all out. When I realized I couldn’t feel his heart beating anymore, I let it all out. Everything I had held in to keep me from losing it infront of him came out. I thought everyone had left, but Shadow came in with some drinks.

“I’m not sure what you would want so I brought a coffee, some water, some hot cocoa and tea.” He was quick and fluid trying to be in and out as quickly as possible but I stopped him.

“Was it you?”

“Was what me?”

“His cutie mark.”

“Yeah… yeah, it was. Sorry about that, I thought it was a good idea at the time.”

“Can you do it again one last time?”

“Sure, Twilight.” His horn lit and I looked at Shining. His cutie mark was as bright as the day he got it and so was his mane and tail. I gave my brother one last long hug then looked up to Shadow.

“Thank you.” I said. His horn unlit, he wavered in place a bit before falling into a chair.

“I’ll be fine, there's coffee, water, hot cocoa, and tea on the tray. Have at it.” I turned to the tray and realized there were more than just four cups on it.

“There’s five cups on the tray.”

“Your brother wanted a coffee for when he woke up, it's just the way he likes it. I wasn’t going to let him down, not this time." I took the hot cocoa and brought the water to Shadow.

“Shiny always talked so highly of you, almost like you were his idol.”

“Shiny?”

“Sorry, Shining.”

“Was Shiny your nickname for him?”

“Yeah.”

“I like it, it fit him well. Your guys' bond as brother and sister was stronger than anything I’ve ever seen. I hope you know I tried very hard to find a way to save him.”

“I don’t doubt you did, thank you for trying.”

“I don’t know why he always thought so highly of me, he knows more about me than anyone else. He knows my faults, my chinks everything.”

“But he also knows the pony who helped save Equestria… twice. The one who saved his son from dying.”

“Did he tell you about the time I almost got his son killed?”

“No.”

“I had been keeping track of my brother until one day he had disappeared. I searched the surrounding area but I couldn't find anything until I heard a scream. I went over to the area of the scream as fast as I could, and when I got there I heard another scream. It wasn’t too long after that the place blew apart. That's when I realized it was Blue, Rusty, and Shield. When Rusty went flying I made sure to grab him and throw him through a few trees, hence why they cover that one path. It put him in a daze long enough for Blue to tend to Shield and get away.”

“How is it your fault?”

“I was supposed to be keeping tabs on him, and I lost him.”

“I see.”

“Remember the path you walked down when you were mad at Shining? That’s the path with the two trees. You just didn't get far enough down it. It wasn't too long ago.”

“I was alone.”

“You weren’t. Shining told me a long time ago to keep you safe when he couldn’t. He wanted to make sure you were safe and always felt safe. There are at least 6 ponies he commended to make sure you stayed safe. He loved you, Twilight. He asked me to make sure you were okay once he passed. He believed he failed you by dying, Twilight. He wanted me to save him to keep him from dying. I didn't know how to tell him it was impossible so I told him I wasn’t strong enough that I didn’t know how.”

“So… “

“Your brother is looking out for you even now.”

“He always was one step ahead.”

“If you need anything, I'm always around. I still remember when he asked me about that, I was the last pony he came to; he was desperate.”

“Asked you about what?”

“When he knew he was going downhill, he asked just about everyone. He wanted to make sure you had someone to talk to when he would no longer be around. That's when he came to me, and of course I said yes. You can come to me day or night for any reason, I don’t care. I just don’t want this to keep you from being yourself.”

“Wait, everyone else told him no?”

“Well no, it was just that I was the only one he trusted.” I reached over and gave Shadow a hug, sobbing into his coat.

“Twilight, he loved you very much. He didn’t want to go out like this. He wanted to go out protecting you, keeping you safe. He asked you to forgive him for being so weak in his last moments that he couldn’t walk beside you.”

“I don’t care that he couldn't, he was still right next to me.”

“And he still is. He’s still watching over you, don't forget that.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know, I'll figure that out in the morning. Right now, you should get some sleep. It's 2:15 in the morning.”

“Where are you sleeping?”

“I’m not.”

“What?”

“I’m going to stand guard by that door until you walk out of it in the morning.”

“Shadow, get some sleep, you could use it.”

“I need to process some things before I could even think of going to sleep. I’ll be fine, you go to sleep.” He left the room, shutting the door behind him. From what I could tell, he had stationed himself in front of it, standing guard. I walked over to my brother.

“You were too smart for your own good, Shiny.” I laughed through the tears.

“I’ll write this letter and I'll leave it on your desk. I'll shut that door behind me and never look back because I don't know what else to do. I don’t want to forget you, but I feel trapped with everything that reminds me of you. I see you everywhere but I can’t talk to you, I can’t hug you or kiss you. Luna told me from the beginning that I would outlive you by hundreds of years. It hurts now because the root of most everyone’s pain is due to me. If we had never met, the kids wouldn’t be so hurt, you wouldn’t have been so afraid to leave and I wouldn't feel so bad for hurting you like I did. It sounds so bad but I feel that what I did to you was so morally wrong. Was I really wrong? Am I at fault for everyone's pain? How do I fix this, Shining? I feel so empty and broken without you, there’s nothing that can fill this void except you. You were my first and my only love. I can't do this again knowing what I did to you.”

Cadance, the love of my life and the only one for me. Forget me. It sounds so awful but I can’t stand to watch you as you walk around, head hung low and wings held so close to your body. Your mane once flowed like a gentle stream but you haven’t brushed it in days. Don’t trap yourself, don't bully yourself like you are. So what, you outlived me, but you are not the root of anyone’s pain. You chose me just as much as I chose you. I knew you would outlive me, I knew I would die before you. If we had never met the kids wouldn’t even exist, you don’t want that. I see Shadow told you guys I was afraid. Of course I was, who wouldn’t be? I'm leaving behind everything I loved, but it’s not your fault that I was afraid, that was no one's fault. You weren’t wrong to marry me, you were so very right to. No one’s pain is your fault, you didn’t cause this. You can’t fix this because there is nothing to fix. You can fill this void, Cadance, find another. I beg you to find another. You won’t regret it and you will feel whole again. Finding another isn’t wrong and I want you to. I can’t stand to see you this way. They say that the afterlife is free of pain and sorrow, but if this is true, then why am I crying seeing you this way? I hurt for you, and I'm sorry I didn't have a fix for you like I did all of the others. You should’ve been my top priority but I failed that. Forgive me. Yours always, Shining Armor.

“It took me too long to wrap my head around you being gone. I walked into your office yesterday to ask you a question. When I realized you weren’t there I was confused, then it hit me. The realization hurt more than when my horn was broken. I’m trying to be strong for mom and Flurry, dad, but it’s getting hard. Flurry won’t stop asking me if I'm okay. You don’t know what it took to keep myself together in front of you the other day. I thought keeping the sadness hidden was supposed to be better, but why does it hurt so much? What am I supposed to do without you? Who is supposed to teach me how to be a guard and make me the best I can be? Dad, I'm lost. I’m alone now. Where is your guidance?”

Son, I'm trying so hard for you to hear me say this: don't hold your sadness, your anger, or your hate. It only hurts worse, I promise it does. I did it for a long time and it doesn’t feel good to die knowing you hid emotions from those you loved most. I hid them from you guys as I left you and I feel like crap. Flurry won’t stop asking you until you tell her you’re okay, until she can see in your eyes that you're okay. She's your sister, that's how she is, she's looking out for you. If you’re not comfortable talking to her, go talk to Orange Tides, Shadow, or Blue, you and him got along real well. I’m sorry you felt that you needed to hold your sadness, son. I didn't know you took it that far when I said to be strong. No one will judge you for showing your emotions, showing them doesn’t make you weak, those who judge you for showing them are weak. What are you supposed to do without me? Whatever you want, son. You can remember me, forget me, hate me, or love me. It's up to you. I just want you to be happy and I'll always be here if you need me. You know everything, I know you are just as strong if not stronger than me. I want you to be stronger than me, son. I want you to kick butt harder than I ever could. I want to see your name take the place of mine on every record. You’re not lost, son, you are not alone. My guidance is all around you in the records with my name on them in the words of others. I may not be able to speak to you directly, but I tried my hardest to make sure you wouldn’t be lost once I was gone. You are not lost.

“I don’t know what to think. I wanna say that everything’s fine, that I’ve moved on. But I haven’t. I haven’t moved on and neither has my brother or anyone else for that matter. I’ve tried to comfort Shield, like you said I should, to tell him it’s going to be okay without you here, I really have. But it’s so hard to consult him through teary eyes when I’m not even sure I believe in it myself. I’m worried, dad. I’m worried and I’m scared. I know everything will turn out fine in the end, but will it really? I don’t think anything will be the same. I hope at least I can find some comfort in knowing you’re happy now, but are you really happy about all of us sobbing ourselves to sleep? At least I wouldn’t be. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be upset. I hope you’re doing better now, dad. I miss you.”

Flurry, my lovely daughter, don’t try to push it away, talk to someone. You may never move on, I know I didn’t after my parents passed. I know you’re trying to help, I can see what you’re doing. Give him some time, but keep trying. Everything will be fine without me. Those around you care for you deeply, what I did they will do as well if not better than I did. Don’t be worried. Don’t be scared. Those who are around you will keep you from falling. They will keep you from failing. Don’t second guess yourself, don’t say it will be fine then wonder if it wont, your life is in your hooves. I promise that if you work hard and love greatly, your life will turn out better than you thought it would. I’m happy but I'm upset, I don't like that you guys mourn me. I may be gone physically but I am not gone altogether. Be happy that I am safe. I am protecting you from above, my job is not done yet. I am doing much better. I miss you to the sun and beyond.

“Here I am Shining, standing outside of this door guarding your sister like you asked. I only have one question; Who is going to be there to check my work and make sure I’m not doing it wrong? I know you picked me to take your place in this, but I don’t think I was the right choice. I don’t know if you can hear me or not but if you can, I'm sure you’re busy already tending to the afterlife things, so I won’t keep you. Just know, you and your world saving powers are greatly missed. May you rest in peaceful harmony. Your life long friend, Shadow.”

You were always the guy to immediately get to work no matter how hard or dangerous the task. By the time I made it, you were already done with it. Shadow, I picked you because I know if you’re doing this it doesn’t need to be checked, as you’ll always do your best. Not much here to do in the afterlife except hangout with friends and family. I found my mom and dad. They told me to tell you that they’re thankful for you keeping me safe. Oh, and I found Ace too. He wanted me to tell you that he was sorry, and that he would take it back if he could. He also wanted me to tell you to make sure Blue knew he wasn’t hated. He understands now that it was an overreaction. World saving powers? Wasn't it you that saved Equestria twice? I promise, I'm resting soundly. I've never felt so free and alive. Your best friend, Shining Armor.

“Wow, so it’s over. It came so fast. Too fast. I have no questions for you. I just want you to know that I will never forget you. All those great times we had, the drinks, the laughter, the sadness, none of it compared to any other friendship. I hope I never did anything to disappoint you. I hope the rough time between us didn’t affect your thoughts towards me. There was so much more that we could have done and now I can't. I'm stuck, Shining. Everything I do I will do with you in mind, I won't forget, I promise.”

Spike, it came too fast for me too. You’ll forget me and that’s okay, it's 100 percent okay. I remember the drinks, all of the laughs, and the times we broke together. You always understood. You never disappointed me, I just hope I didn’t disappoint you. I realize now how much less time I spent with you once Shadow showed up, almost like I had forgotten you. Can you forgive me? I didn’t mean to, I promise. All friendships have rough times, nothing could affect the way I thought of you. You can still go and see those things and do those things you’re not stuck with. I'm with you and I will see everything you want me to.

“I can’t believe you spent so much of your time trying to keep me safe. Did you even get free time? I wish you would’ve spent less time worrying before you died. I wish you would’ve just had the chance to be relaxed and happy. What am I going to do now that you’re gone? How do I move on with my life, Shiny? Where do I get the once in a lifetime hugs now? Who is supposed to make me feel better when the spell goes wrong, when the plans fail, when the thunder and lightning are too loud? Why did you have to go so soon? How was your time already up? Shadow said you were still around, but even though you’re right here, I can’t feel you. Where are you now? Where can I find you now that you’re gone? You didn’t want to go. I failed you, I allowed you to die. I'm sorry I wasn't a better sister, Shiny.”

Why would I not spend so much time trying to keep you safe? That was the promise I made you, right? I didn’t need free time to do things that made me happy, seeing your smile everyday was more than enough for me. You know me, when time is limited I always worry, it doesn't matter what it is. I wanted to make sure I made the right choice. Trust me when I say I'm relaxed and happy now. I was happy there talking to you guys. That made me happy. I didn't care how bad I felt, I was happy with you guys. Move on, Twilight. I understand it’s hard but it’ll make me feel so much better. I don't want you to mourn over me. I had a great life, you know that. I’m sorry sis, that’s the only thing I couldn’t find and that’s my only regret. I wanted to make sure you had the best possible replacement for me in times like these. I hope I picked right with Shadow. He may not be the best but I trusted him to be able to fix these things. I don’t know why I had to leave so soon, I hope you don’t think this was planned. I wouldn't do that to you, you know that, right? Give it time, Twily, I’m right here. Just give it time and you’ll see. You're right, I didn't want to go, but under no circumstances did you fail me. You didn’t allow me to die, you just didn’t know how to fix this, no one does. You did not fail me, please understand this. I couldn’t have asked for a better sister. There wasn’t a better sister for me in Equestria. You couldn’t have improved, Twilight. You were already the best there could be. Please, don't beat yourself up, it only hurts me more.