Bug on the Breeze

Zephyr sprawled on his back, the plush sleeping bag providing decent comfort against the hard floor. The rain had started a while ago, just barely loud enough to be heard and providing a lulling background noise. Anticipation for the lightning and thunder that he knew was coming kept him from fully relaxing yet though.

He looked over at Pharynx, who had finished the map some time ago and was now looking through a journal. “Hey Pharynx?”

He glanced up. “What?”

“How did you end up changing like the others?”

Pharynx raised an eyebrow. “Do you really want to do the small talk thing with me?”

Zephyr flushed. He had hoped the earlier compliment from Pharynx and generally warming tone towards him would make the changeling a bit more receptive to conversation. “W-well, yeah. I’ve never really been around an actual changeling before.”

Pharynx looked back at the journal. “I’m just surprised you are interested in something other than yourself or whatever fantasy you have concocted. Are you sure you are open to hearing some actual reality?”

Zephyr frowned, a surprising amount of hurt weighing heavily in his chest. He shook his head and sat up, forcing his frown into an easy smile. “I was just trying to make conversation. You guys did try to take over my home like, twice, but now we are all friends, or supposed to be.” He stretched his hooves above him with a soft groan. “This cave is getting stuffy, I’m gonna get some fresh air.”

Pharynx closed the book after Zephyr left, pressing his lips together. He wasn’t the best at understanding the nuances of complex emotions, that training was reserved for the infiltrators, but he was still a changeling, and the waves of emotions rolling off the pegasus were not good. He had subconsciously tasted Zephyr’s emotions from their first meeting, another old habit, but for the first time he seemed genuinely hurt because of him.

Pharynx furrowed his brows. Now that he really thought about it, did Zephyr ever fully shake off or deflect his prior insults and sarcastic comments? He rubbed his temple with a groan. He wasn’t good at this mushy feelings junk. If Thorax were here, he’d probably be able to tell exactly what was going on and what Zephyr needed to hear.

“He just needs some guidance and confidence building… Who better to do that than you?”

Pharynx had senseda strong wave of positive emotion earlier when he complimented Zephyr…

Pharynx growled and stood up, pacing the cave with heavy stomps. Zephyr was a certified idiot, so what if his feelings got hurt? Pharynx had been coddling him thus far and it was about time the pegasus got some hard truths, especially if they were going to be stuck together for the foreseeable future.

…So why did he feel like when he was young and came across his brother crying from the harassment of other grubs?

Thorax and Zephyr were very different, in many ways. Thorax was a true leader, having overcome years of ostracization and adversity. Zephyr didn’t seem able to face anything negative and put on a front to seem more than he was. That frustrated Pharynx more than he’d like to admit. A chain was only as good as the weakest link after all, and it could be a disaster if the weakest link pretended it was the strongest.

For all their differences, his brother and the pegasus were also both weird and soft and weak, relatively speaking. And it was these traits that stoked Pharynx’s protective nature.

Pharynx turned to face the entry of the cave, muttering, “That pegasus is going to be the death of me…”

~~

Zephyr sat on the ledge, his long legs dangling over the edge. Out here, he could hear the rain a little more clearly, but the ground was too dark and far away for him to see if water was starting to run into the cavern.

He sighed. “Oh Zephyr, what are you doing?”

He let out a short laugh. “Doing what I always do, following the breeze to another new thing and hoping this little adventure sparks something I can turn into my destiny and purpose. Zephyr Breeze the monster hunter, that’s sure to make my sis proud isn’t it?”

“You shouldn’t pretend to be something you aren’t.”

Zephyr yelped, almost falling off the edge but just managing to keep his balance. Heart pounding, he looked behind him, where Pharynx had snuck up. “W-what?”

“You heard me.”

Zephyr scoffed. “Oh joy, it’s time for you to give me a lecture is it? Well, go ahead, get it out of your system.”

Pharynx raised an eyebrow at the deadpan that bordered on sarcastic. “I’m not going to lecture you.”

“Oh yeah? Then what are you going to do? Stare at me, tap your hoof and tell me you’re not upset, just disappointed?”

Pharynx snorted. “Nah. I’m gonna try to knock some sense into that thick skull of yours.”

Zephyr side eyed him before turning back towards the edge again. “That sounds suspiciously like a lecture…”

Pharynx laughed and sat next to him. “You asked me earlier how I was able to change like the others, well, it wasn’t because I insisted on being something I’m not. I didn’t even really change who I was at my core.”

Zephyr looked over, his brow furrowed. “Well, then what did you do?”

“I just updated my perspective a little, realized that who I was and what I did was my way of showing love, and I could still protect my home and brother while accepting their form of love and friendship.”

“Huh. Well that’s a sweet story and all but I don’t really see how that applies to me.”

Pharynx huffed. “Alright, I’m not good at the whole ‘gentle encouragement’ thing, and I’m not going to apologize for hurting your feelings, but I hope you are going to take these next words to heart and not just be offended. Think you can handle that?”

Zephyr shifted away from him slightly and wrapped a wing around himself. “Don’t bother, I already know what you are going to say.”

“Do you?”

Zephyr scoffed and stood up, turning away from the edge. Outside, there was a faint rumble of thunder. “Of course, it’s the same thing everybody says to me at some point or another.” His voice became bitter. “They say I’m stupid. And lazy. A slacker.”

He growled, hissing the next insults. “Pathetic. Bum. Loser.”

He stomped his hoof, screaming now. “LEECH! FAILURE! USELESS!”

The cavern illuminated with a crackling flash of lightning, followed almost immediately by an explosive crash of thunder that caused the lanterns on the wall to tremble.

Zephyr shook in the almost deafening silence that followed, before lowering his head and mumbling. “Disappointment.”

“Are you done?”

Zephyr blinked and looked back at Pharynx, who simply patted the ground next to him. Zephyr opened and closed his mouth a couple times, exhaustion from the emotional outburst already weighing heavily on his shoulders. He shrugged and slowly walked over before taking a seat. At this point, whatever Pharynx could say couldn’t be worse than anything Zephyr had heard before. “Okay. Your turn.”

“You are weird, even by pony standards. You are most definitely not smart, street or book wise, and you stubbornly live in a fantasy world of delusion and grandeur.”

Zephyr laughed, mostly out of shock, as a couple tears rolled down his cheeks. “I, I don’t suppose there’s a ‘but’ coming in that sentence?”

Pharynx smirked. “Nope. You are all of these things, and probably more that are seen as negative traits, so why do you pretend otherwise? It does no good to pretend your many weaknesses don’t exist and try to plow over them with such a fake confidence it makes me wonder if you aren’t a changeling in disguise.”

Zephyr scoffed, trying to sound offended, but his trembling lip betrayed the hollowness of it. “Just because you are a changeling doesn’t mean you are a mind reader. You don’t know who I am.”

“Maybe not fully, but I know you are holding back. You’ve buried your true self deeply, what I can’t understand is why.”

Zephyr was quiet. There was another flash of lightning and more rumbling thunder, but it wasn’t as close as the last one. “Why do you care?”

“Because I can’t trust you if you won’t stop lying to both me and yourself. And if I can’t trust you, we will never be able to take care of the sand kelpie.”

Zephyr sighed, a profoundly resigned tone to the exhale. “Nobody likes my true self.”

Pharynx rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face. “Well it can’t be any worse than the Zephyr I’ve known.”

Zephyr laughed again, this time more genuine. Pharynx’s teasing tone made him feel like maybe, just maybe, the changeling might actually be trying to be his friend.

Pharynx chuckled and nudged his shoulder. “Seriously. Tell me who ‘Zephyr Breeze’ really is, how he wants to live his life, and I’ll judge whether or not he’s worth keeping buried.”

Zephyr licked his lips and wrung his hooves together. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Nope.”

Zephyr shook his head with a smile. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Well, I have a hard time staying in one place. I need to follow where the breeze takes me. I love to travel and just go wherever sounds fun. I do like trying different things too, like my mane therapy training, or painting or maybe learning how to play an instrument someday.”

He waved his hooves around, frowning a bit. “The problem is that everyone has all these expectations of me. They want me to settle down and stick with one thing. And travel and stuff cost money, which means I’d need a job, but I haven’t found anything I want to stick with for more than an hour or so. There’s just so many wonderful things in life, I wanna be able to experience it all, or at least as much as I want to but that lifestyle just makes ponies disappointed in me.”

Pharynx poked at Zephyr’s back. “You got wings don’t you? Just need a decent tent and some basic survival skills and the whole world is yours. As for the money, well, find some basic gig work, temporary things that work to your interests. You have the mane therapy thing right? Find a random town square to set up in and charge a few bits per therapy session or whatever you do for it.”

Zephyr looked at him, fighting to keep back the surge of hope that the changeling’s words sparked. “You make it sound so simple.”

Pharynx rolled his eyes. “Life is only as complicated as you try to make it. It feels hard because you are trying too hard and fighting your true self. Stop trying to make everyone else happy and actually follow your own breeze.”

Zephyr looked down at his hooves. “You know, you are the first pon- er, creature? To tell me that I can be myself. My actual, true self.”

“If anyone doesn’t like what you are, then they can go pound sand. Anyone who makes you be something you aren’t doesn’t actually love you.”

“Heh… Thank you Pharynx.”

Pharynx feigned surprise. “Oh wow, did I actually get through? And here I thought I would have to literally smack some sense into you.”

Zephyr snickered and shook his head. “I think you should save the smacking for the kelpie.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

Zephyr yawned and rubbed his face. “I should probably hit the hay if we have an early morning.”

Pharynx nodded. “Good idea. You’ll need rest for your return to the hive tomorrow.”

Zephyr raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said we weren’t going back until the mission was done.”

Pharynx returned the look. “I thought you wouldn’t want to keep going. I was pretty sure the only reason you came was because Thorax said you should.”

“Well, that might have been how it started, but I want to see this through. Even if I don’t find any luck in being a monster hunter, I still feel like I’m here for a reason.”

“Huh… okay then.” He smirked. “Just know that I won’t be taking it easy on you - I will drag you out of here in the morning if I need to.”

Zephyr stood up and stuck his tongue out at Pharynx. “You joke but ‘the breeze’ may just take you up on that.”

“Who said I was joking?”